Important Questions for Diamond - Part VI

Here are some of my important questions for Diamond that have been posted over at the new Dustin Diamond Love forum:

Sun Mar 18, 2012 10:36 am

Diamond, please confirm that this photo was taken when the Bayside girl opened the bathroom door while you were taking a piss. It looks like they all had a nice laugh when they saw your baby-sized cock!

Sat Mar 17, 2012 11:53 pm

Diamond, please confirm that Belding celebrated St. Patrick's Day today by intentionally infecting himself with an intestinal virus so that he would be able to produce green diarrhea caused by the presence of bile in his stool. Is it true that you think that his green diarrhea tastes better than a Shamrock Shake from McDonald's?



Sat Mar 17, 2012 12:03 am

Diamond, please confirm that Belding is a die-hard Republican and as of a couple days ago was leaning toward voting for Romney in the upcoming primary although he was still undecided. Is it true that Belding got really mad when he saw that Santorum wanted to outlaw all pornography, as he is a huge fan of gay porn? Remember when Belding took out his aggression on you by stomping on your head and kicking you in the back until he heard some ribs snap? Did he finish you off with his typical donkey punch ass-rape?



Fri Mar 16, 2012 8:42 pm

rocco wrote:Dman, can you confirm your breath smells like Michael Oliver's asshole?

ROCCO



It is true - I read about it on a bathroom stall door in Reno, NV. Apparently Diamond burped while in line at an Arby's and the entire restaurant had to be shut down while a Hazmat team hosed down everything in the place! An elderly man may have gone into cardiac arrest as a result of the rank odor.



Thu Mar 15, 2012 7:24 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, I just saw that gallagher had a heart attack. I'm sure you remember the time you went to one of his shows and he called you onstage. Remember how you strutted up thinking you were a huge celebrity? Remember how less like a celebrity you felt when Gallagher attacked you and ripped off your Zubaz then crushed your tiny balls and cock with one of his massive mallets? That was a good show Dman! You should visit Gallagher in the hospital to cheer him up. Hopefully he and Gallagher Too would be up to giving your ass a good spit roasting!


ROCCO



Remember how Mylo was at the Gallagher show sitting in the front row waiting for the Gallagher to smash watermelons? Remember when Mylo partaked in the assault on Diamond by anally violating Diamond with a mop he snuck into the show?



Mon Mar 12, 2012 12:48 pm

Diamond, you turned 35 earlier in the year. When do you think you'll finally go through puberty and grow hair on your balls and ass?



Mon Mar 12, 2012 7:32 am

Diamond, why are you such a homo?



Mon Mar 12, 2012 1:52 am

Diamond, is it true that you recently contacted singer Chuck Berry to ask him if you can be his IT guy? Remember how cool you thought it was when you found out that Chuck Berry had secretly installed cameras in the bathroom stalls at his restaurant to spy on women going to the bathroom and thought that he should expand his surveillance to capture video of random dudes pissing and taking dumps in the men's room? Remember when you rang his doorbell and he invited you into his home and asked you to take a seat? Remember how he had secretly coated the seat in Krazy Glue and your Zubaz became stuck to the seat and you couldn't get up? Remember when you yelled out "Zoinks!" and then Chuck Berry dropped his pants to reveal his 88 year old limp cock? Remember when you said that he was so old he would need a forklift to get an erection? Remember how mad your rude comment made Chuck Berry? Remember when he got even with you by pissing all over you and then farting in your face? Remember when he said "Yeah! Smell my fart!" which was his infamous catchphrase from one of his homemade porn tapes that were confiscated by the police during the mid-90s? Remember when he got out his guitar and smacked you across the face with it and then started singing "Johnny B. Goode" while doing his famous duck walk on your zoinker? You sure learned about a rock-and-roll legend that time!



Fri Mar 09, 2012 11:23 am

Diamond, I have heard that some people have a "bucket list" of things they want to do or see before they die. Is it true that you have a "cum bucket list" of dudes you want to rape you before you die? Man, you sure are one demented/deranged queer!



Wed Mar 07, 2012 12:12 pm

Diamond, are you still on a quest to contract Super-AIDS? I heard that you have been visiting rest stops, gas station bathrooms, and the men's room at many area Taco Bells to have unprotected butt sex with JM J Bullock and other random dudes for over a decade but have not yet contracted the Super-AIDS. I think that it is time for you to take a vacation to South Africa or possibly even Zimbabwe - you're sure to encounter new strains of AIDS! Man, if you thought Mylo's skin was dark, you're going to get to on with lots of dudes who are as dark as night - I bet you'll have quite a bit of fun getting it on in a shanty-town with HIV+ dudes!



Mon Mar 05, 2012 7:27 pm

rocco wrote:Diamond, remember when Mr. Belding entered coach sonski's swim class where you were fluttering around in the shallow end while wearing water wings? Remember when the Big Bopper saw you and immediatley got annoyed at your Zubaz brand water wings, as they were slowly taking on water and were making you swim even more retarded then normal? Remember when he yelled " Cannonball" and jumped directly on your head? Remember when your head smashed against the bottom of the pool and you suffered a concussion? Remember when Mr. Belding ripped off your Zubaz swimsuit and the entire class saw and laughed at your baby cock, which was even smaller then normal because of the cold water? Remember when bubbles began coming up from under the water and one of Mr. B's farts hit you in the face causing you to gag? Remember how the Big Bopper did one of his trademark laughs, then climbed out of the water and went back to his office? Remember how Coach Sonski gave you an F for the class because you engaged in to much "horseplay"? You sure learned about the ins and outs of swimming that time!


ROCCO



Correct me if I am wrong, but wasn't the pool water rendered toxic as a result of Belding's fart? I recall it turning brown and then the pool had to be completely drained. Diamond was later sent a bill for several thousand dollars, the cost of filling the pool back up with chlorinated water.



Mon Mar 05, 2012 3:31 pm

Diamond, remember that time when you asked Belding if he was going to attend a rally to support gay marriage? Remember when Belding replied, "Why would I attend that bullshit? Those dirty faggots shouldn't be allowed to marry?" Remember when you replied that it seemed like a harsh viewpoint from a gay man such as himself? Remember when Belding responded by informing you that he wasn't gay but that you were? Remember when Belding also said that "prison rules" apply at Bayside and that he wasn't gay for raping you, although you were gay for "allowing" yourself to be raped? Remember when Belding then proceeded to violently ass-rape you as punishment for annoying him?



Mon Mar 05, 2012 12:28 pm

Diamond, remember that episode when you joined the Big Brothers program and attempted to molest a 15-year-old kid? Remember when that 15-year-old kid turned the tables and ended up molesting you? You sure were a faggot that time!



Mon Mar 05, 2012 12:27 pm

Diamond, remember when people used to yell out "Screech!" whenever they would see you in the men's room at the rest stop? Remember how now people simply refer to you as "the creepy weirdo who stares at guy pissing at the urinals?" Which nickname do you prefer?



Mon Mar 05, 2012 8:22 am

Diamond, is it true that your rectum has been torn so many times during anal rapes that it no longer shuts completely? Do you use a butt plug or a wine bottle cork to prevent your fecal matter from dripping out of your torn asshole and onto your Zubaz? Please get back to me soon, buddy!



Sun Mar 04, 2012 8:26 am

Shitstainsandwich wrote:

assvomit wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daPjD4Ds3f8


I love watching this clip, i have busted massive nutts watching a large blackman threaten to beat the dmans fat ass! I watch it over and over again visualizing the ass beating....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piwIkbb1oso

I also love listening to harvey trash talk diamond calling him a peice of shit over and over.... got it gets me hot and hard!!!!!!



I also like how he threatened to "Wear his ass out". Im pretty sure after the conflict Harvey did exactly that too Diamond.



I loved it when Harvey said that if Screech was on fire, he wouldn't even piss on him.



Sun Mar 04, 2012 3:53 am

Diamond, is it true that during the hot summer months Belding will often sit naked on your couch with the air conditioning turned off and all of the windows closed? Is it also true that you enjoy burying your face in his sweaty crotch and licking his smelly butthole while he sweats profusely, masturbates vigorously, and drops ass? How many times did this happen before your couch began reeking of the smell of ass? Even though this last happened years ago do you still sniff the rank couch cushions while rubbing one out?



Sat Mar 03, 2012 8:39 am

Diamond, remember that time when Belding was super horny and told you to pull down your Zubaz because he wanted to suck your cock? Remember when you eagerly dropped trou to expose your baby-sized penis? Remember how Belding got mad and yelled out, "What the fuck is that tiny thing?" Remember when Belding was able to quell him horniness by beating you to a bloody pulp and then raping you yet again? Remember when he yelled for Mylo the janitor to come in and Mylo raped you, infecting you with Ebola? You sure learned about the downside of a tiny cock that time!



Fri Mar 02, 2012 10:49 pm

Diamond, remember when you saw this video clip and asked Mylo the Janitor is the Uncle Tom in the clip was his dad? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xdu0kcMMZ3s Remember when Mylo and Hound Dog double-teamed you to teach you a lesson for your racially insensitive remark?



Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:21 pm

Diamond, remember that time when Belding stopped washing his ass for a week because it cut into time when he could have been eating chocolate donuts? Remember how a thick crust of shit had dried onto his ass hair by the end of the week? Remember he ass-raped you as usual and then stomped on your head until you were unconscious and then squatted over your face and shook loose fecal chips from his matted ass hair onto your face? Remember how you several pounds of fecal chips landed in your mouth as you lay unconscious, nearly suffocating you to death?



Thu Mar 01, 2012 1:56 pm

Diamond, remember that time when the bodyguards of your biological father, singer Neil Diamond, viciously ass-raped you while Neil watched and jerked off? Your sure do have a shitty father-son relationship with your dad!



Thu Mar 01, 2012 6:09 am

rocco wrote:Kurt, I think in that bottom pic Farley had ripped some serious ass! Mike Meyers looks stunned and the other guy looks disgusted! I bet the Dman would have loved to have gotten a hold of those so he could have breathed in Farleys fart smell from the thin Zubaz fabric!


ROCCO



The funny thing is that Farley actually used to prank call people by farting in the phone! See: http://nymag.com/arts/tv/features/47548/index6.html

Tonight, sprawled on a couch a couple of feet from the table, Chris Farley and Adam Sandler alternately listen to the writers debate and cackle at some private joke. Sandler picks up a phone and makes prank calls, talking in a silly elderly woman’s voice.

Now it’s Farley’s turn. Obese, sweating, dressed in a flannel shirt and a white knit skullcap that makes him look like a grunge Muslim, Farley dials. “Excuse me,” he says into the phone, “did you hear that? Was it a clap of thunder?” Then he holds the receiver against his butt, unleashes a prodigious fart, and quickly hangs up. The writers laugh louder than they have all night. Except Downey, who’s slowly wagging his head.

“Ah, Jim!” Farley exclaims. “That’s been a big laugh since sixth grade! Belushi farted, didn’t he? Bottom line, farts are funny!”

Downey seems unmoved.

“It’ll never happen again,” Farley says, but he can’t contain a giggle. “It’s the goddamn burgers! Lori Jo ordered up about 50 burgers! Jesus!”

“Well, Chris,” Downey says, mock solemn. “Look around. All these people are laughing at you. Not with you. And they’re your friends now, because you’re the big clown. But they’re gonna all go on…and you’ll still be there, just farting away.”

Farley starts kicking his legs like some demented Rockette, farting after each step.

“Someday, Chris,” Downey continues, still in his deadpan mode, “your son will be in a library with a friend, and he’ll pull down the Readers’ Guide to Periodical Literature. ‘Oh—January to March 1995. Hey, Dad’s in this one!’ ‘What’s it for? The ‘Fatty Arbuckle incident’—where he had that incident with the girl, and he was tried?’ ‘No, this is the one where he farts!’”



Wed Feb 29, 2012 5:50 am

Here are some pictures of Chris Farley in those sexy Zubaz!

Tue Feb 28, 2012 11:36 am

Diamond, I saw an old episode of Saturday Night Live where Bill Murray hosted and Chris Farley was wearing a pair of yellow, black, and white striped Zubaz pants in a sketch. Have you ever seen the episode and did you rub one out while watching Farley and fantasizing that the Zubaz were absorbing Farley's ass sweat? Have you ever fantasized about being spit-roast by a Zubaz-wearing Chris Farley and the fat bald Zubaz-wearing ex-prison guard from Prison Break? Get back to me soon ass-fuck!



Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:36 am

Diamond, remember that episode where you told Belding that you loved "dumpy" asses and affectionately told him that he had he had the dumpiest ass at Bayside? Remember how you expected the Big Bopper to feel happy with what you thought was a big compliment? Remember how Belding instead became enraged because he was self-conscious about his large posterior? Remember when he beat unconscious and then visciously ass-raped you and then locked you in one of the port-a-potties near the football field for the weekend? Remember when you had to drink filthy port-a-potty water to survive? You sure learned a lesson about Belding's ass that time!



Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:14 am

Diamond, when the minimum wage employees at Arby's see you waiting in line, is it true that they take turns pissing in that nasty water that the roast beef rests in? Remember that time when you caught one of the employees pissing in the roast beef water and complained? Remember when they offered you the roast beef sandwich for free if you'd shut your trap about it? Remember how you were so low on funds at the time that you agreed to the deal and then quickly gobbled down the piss-soaked roast beef sandwich? You were more pathetic than a homeless man that time!



Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:29 am

Hey Diamond, it's too bad that you weren't interviewed for this important Village Voice article, "Guys Who Like Fat Chicks." You could have been one of the demented weirdos interviewed! I'm sure you would have much to say about your penchant for hooked up with obese men/women.

http://www.villagevoice.com/2011-05-04/news/guys-who-like-fat-chicks/



Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:20 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, can you confirm the other day you went to McDonald's to get a tasty mcdouble with a dollar you found in the buttcrack of a homeless man? Is it true you tried to use your celebrity to cut to the front of the line? Is it true this annoyed quite a few obese men and woman along with the cashier? Is it true you slammed the dollar down on the metal counter and yelled "get the Dman a Mcdouble pronto!"? Is it true the cashier said "hold on sir" then went and got one of the fry cookers, carried it over and threw it along with the scalding hot grease into your face? Is it true you began screaming and that cued a vicious attack from the obese customers you had cut in front of? Is it true an enormous heifer sat on your head and began ripping ass while her husband dropped his size 76 sweatpants and began raping you? Is it true other customers kicked and spit on you while all jerking off? Is it true the manager came out and everyone blamed you for causing a scene? Is it true the manager instead of saving you had a sword fight in your asshole while eating a hot apple pie? Is it true by the end you were covered in piss, farts, blood, grease, apple pie remnants, and jizz? Is it true you are now also banned from that McDonalds and a picture of you with the caption "Hooknosed Goblin" hangs in the restaurant? You sure learned people don't like people cutting in line that time Dman!


ROCCO



That was funny when they threw the hot grease on Diamond and the fries that were in the grease also landed on him. Remember when one of the obese dudes in line dumped a huge container of salt onto Diamond's burnt body and then gobbled down the semi-cooked fries? I bet that salt must have burned like hell on top of Diamond's open wounds!

Important Questions for Diamond - Part V

Here are some of my important questions for Diamond that have been posted over at the new Dustin Diamond Love forum:

Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:16 am

rocco wrote:

Kurt_Steinberg wrote:Diamond, remember how you saved a grand total of $4000 during the ten years while you were Mr. Belding's assistant? Remember when saw an ad for a new Zubaz automobile? Remember how the Zubaz Squirrel had a 2 cylinder engine and a top speed of 38 MPH? Remember when you took the bus to the Zubaz dealer and paid your entire life savings for a pink Zubaz Squirrel? Remember how the metal forming the frame of the car was about as thick as tin foil? Remember how the door was so flimsy that merely touching it would leave permanent indentations on the door? Remember how the windows were formed out of Cling-wrap? Remember when you got into the car and drove off the lot home? Remember how mad all of the other drivers were getting at you because you were driving 35 MPH in a 45 MPH zone? Remember when it started raining on the way home and your car started rusting instantly? Remember when the entire engine block fell through the rusted-out car frame 10 minutes later? Remember how your your entire car started disintegrating on the road in the rain? You sure were a dipshit that time for wasting your entire life savings on a Zubaz car! What a moron!




Diamond really was a jackass that time. Too bad for him the 3 minute or 36 foot warranty had already expired when the car disintegrated!


ROCCO



Yes, he appeared to be retarded that time! Seriously, what kind of a moron would pay $4000 for a car that has windows made out of Cling-wrap?



Tue Feb 21, 2012 3:39 am

Diamond, remember how you saved a grand total of $4000 during the ten years while you were Mr. Belding's assistant? Remember when saw an ad for a new Zubaz automobile? Remember how the Zubaz Squirrel had a 2 cylinder engine and a top speed of 38 MPH? Remember when you took the bus to the Zubaz dealer and paid your entire life savings for a pink Zubaz Squirrel? Remember how the metal forming the frame of the car was about as thick as tin foil? Remember how the door was so flimsy that merely touching it would leave permanent indentations on the door? Remember how the windows were formed out of Cling-wrap? Remember when you got into the car and drove off the lot home? Remember how mad all of the other drivers were getting at you because you were driving 35 MPH in a 45 MPH zone? Remember when it started raining on the way home and your car started rusting instantly? Remember when the entire engine block fell through the rusted-out car frame 10 minutes later? Remember how your your entire car started disintegrating on the road in the rain? You sure were a dipshit that time for wasting your entire life savings on a Zubaz car! What a moron!



Sun Feb 19, 2012 9:53 am

Diamond, when you were a student at California University, how many times did you wake up in the middle of the night because someone was pissing on your head? Remember how Slater and Zack were always having orgies with the campus's raging sluts? Remember how there was no bathroom for women on the floor, so the women decided to use your face as a toilet instead of walking up to the women's bathroom on the next floor?



Fri Feb 17, 2012 3:30 am

Diamond, please confirm that you murdered Hall of Fame former MLB catcher Gary Carter because you were jealous of his curly 'fro. You're gonna pay for this heinous act!!!



Tue Feb 14, 2012 6:19 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, remember that time you got fed up with Mr. B tearing your Zubaz while ripping them off your body during his violent rapes? Is it true you had Mrs. Powers sew a flap in the ass of your Zubaz so Mr. B could still ass rape you, but wouldnt have to rip them in the process? Is it true the next day Mr. B cornered you after lunch and went to rip off your Zubaz when you said "hold on chief!" Is it true that you then released the Velcro flap which exposed your pasty ass? Is it true you thought the Big Bopper would appreciate this gesture? Is it true you were wrong and the Big Bopper was infuriated at your butt flap? Is it true he tore your Zubaz off and the called out to AC Slater? Is it true while Mr. B pounded away at your asshole slater ripped your Zubaz to pieces as if he were Hulk Hogan ripping off his tshirt? Is it true since you hadn't worn your Zubaz underpants you were forced to put back on your now shredded and tattered Zubaz which didn't really cover anything? Is it true the kids in Mr. Tuttle's class pointed and laughed at you because they could see your tiny cock and your jizz covered ass? Is it true when you got home Mrs. Powers was mad because once again your Zubaz had been ripped up? Is it true she belched a cum belch into your face and called you a "hook nosed loser"? That sure wasn't your day Dman!

ROCCO



Diamond sure was a fool to think that Belding would want to use the butt flap!

Why did Diamond purchase all of those Zubaz brand items? As I recall, the Zubaz underwear were so flimsy that a medium-sized fart would be sufficient to rip a hole in them!



Mon Feb 13, 2012 4:54 am

Diamond, which of the following is the most difficult to remove from your Jew-fro after drying - (a) semen; (b) fecal juice; (c) snot/boogers; or (d) barf? Please get back to me soon, buddy, as I am racking my brain thinking about this conundrum!



Sat Feb 11, 2012 4:34 am

Diamond, remember when you travelled to Canada a few years ago to get your teeth fixed and your dental work is featured on this website: http://www.torontosmilemakeovers.com/ ? Is it true that you were born with normal teeth, but after years of drinking piss, the uric acid in the piss had horrible damaged your teeth, requiring extensive dental work? Is it also true that you were under general anesthetic and were anally raped while you were under?



Thu Feb 09, 2012 12:08 pm

Diamond, remember that time when you looked at your baby-sized cock while pissing at a urinal and started crying because of its small size? You sure realized that your life sucked for you that time!



Wed Feb 08, 2012 8:12 am

Diamond, remember that time when Lisa Turtle rejected you for the 500th time and then you walked home after school and caught her dyking out with your TV mom, Mrs. Powers? Remember when you cried as you watched Mrs. Powers do Lisa in the ass with a strap-on while Lisa sucked off Mr. Powers and Mr. Tuttle sat on the dresser watching and masturbating? Remember how a few minutes later you watched in horror as Lisa sucked off Hound Dog? Was it a major blow to your ego when you discovered that Lisa was a total slut who would fuck everything that moves except for you? Even Hound Dog was sexier to Lisa than you!



Tue Feb 07, 2012 8:08 am

Diamond, do you remember the episode where you were watching a re-run of 21 Jump Street on a small Sony Watchman miniature television set with a 2-inch screen during lunch period back in 1991 when you were a student at Bayside? Remember when you started to get turned on while watching Johnny Depp and Richard Greico solving crimes while dressed up as undercover officers? Remember when you went into the bathroom sit on the toilet while rubbing a couple out? Remember when Slater heard you smacking around your ding-dong in the stall and got mad? Remember when Slater kicked open the door and informed you that you were not allowed to enjoy any type of sexual pleasure? Remember when he kicked you in the balls and then pissed onto your Jew-fro? Remember when several other dudes in the bathroom also started pissing on you? Remember when the kid taking a dump in the next stall started firing shit-covered pieces of toilet paper over the stall wall onto you that he had just used to wipe his ass? Remember when you ran out to complain to Belding and he confiscated your Watchman and called you a "stupid Jew faggot" and made you suck his cock right in front of Becky the Duck, Belding's kinky girlfriend at the time?




Mon Feb 06, 2012 11:47 am

Hey Diamond, remember that time during Mr. Tuttle's class when you burped and then the entire room reeked of the smell of cock as a result of your penis breath?



Mon Feb 06, 2012 4:11 am

Diamond, remember how you took Mr. Dewey's health class during your sophomore year at Bayside? Remember how you had to pull down your pants so that he could measure your cock for the final exam? Remember how you failed the final exam because your cock was too small? Remember how you had to take summer school in order to receive a passing grade? Remember how the only summer school class offered was "Prison Rape 101" taught by Mr. Dewey and Principal Belding? Remember how they would ass-rape you several times every day, pulling queer trains and even invited other faculty staff and Zack's dad to join in on the action? Remember when you endured 8 weeks of anal rape and rectal bleeding until the summer session ended? Remember when you asked Mr. Dewey what grade you would be receiving on the last day of class? Remember when Mr. Dewey started laughing and said, "Smile, you are on candid camera!" and pointed to a hidden camera in the back of the room? Remember when host Ed McMahon walked into the classroom and explained that you had been subjected to a 2-month long practical joke? Remember how hard everyone laughed as you cried and your horribly torn rectum bled through your Zubaz? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!



Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:49 am

Diamond, do you remember the time when Belding asked you to pick up a family sized bag of Doritos for his afternoon snack? Remember when you carelessly bought a bag of low-fat Doritos? Remember how sensitive Belding was about his weight and thought that you were giving him a subtle hint that he was too fat? Remember how upset Belding was with you for buying the wrong chips? Remember when Belding sat on the bag, crushing all of the chips and then dumped the chip crumbs into your poofy Jew-fro? Remember when he then yanked off your Zubaz and raped you? Remember when he blew his load up your ass and then dumped you outside the school on the ball field in an unconscious state? Remember when a flock of hungry birds smelled the Dorito crumbs in your Jew-fro and flew down and started attacking you while eating the crumbs? Remember when an endangered California Condor was one of the birds? Remember when Maxwell Nerdstrom saw the bird attack and took a photo which was later published in the Bayside Bugle newspaper? Remember how Jessie Spano was a member of PETA at the time? Remember how Jessie showed the picture of the bird attack to her weirdo PETA friends and they burned down your house to teach you a lesson about messing with birds? Doritos got you good that time!



Fri Feb 03, 2012 1:44 pm

Diamond, do you like it when you are standing at a urinal pissing out of your tiny cock and someone comes up behind you and pisses all over you as you stand at the urinal? Do you wear you piss-soaked Zubaz for the next three hours until the urine dries, or do you put on a fresh clean pair of Zubaz?



Tue Jan 31, 2012 7:18 pm

Diamond, remember that time when you went into the Teacher's lounge and saw a new beanbag chair on the floor? Remember when you quickly plopped down on it? Remember when you rubbed your Jew-fro against it and suddenly realized that that the texture of the beanbag chair was unusual? Remember when you also discovered that the beanbag chair smelled like ass? Remember when you noticed that the beanbag chair was covered in lice? Remember when you saw what looked like gray material covered all over the beanbag chair? Remember when you went in for a closer look and saw that the gray material was coarse? Remember when you noticed white stains on some of the gray material? Remember when you licked the white stains and immediately realized that the white stains tasted like AC Slater's cum? Remember when you touched the gray material and realized that it bore a strong resemblance to pubic hair? Remember when you looked over and realized that the "beanbag chair" was in reality Mr. Belding's scrotum which he had let out of his trousers to get some fresh air? Remember when Belding yelled at you for rubbing against his scrotum against his wishes? Remember when Belding gave you a typical pummeling and then ass-raped you for the 735th time? You sure learned to look before sitting down that time!



Thu Jan 26, 2012 11:09 am

Diamond, I loved you in Pulp Fiction, where you played "the Gimp." Please confirm that you have played a gimp in hundreds of gay pornos.



Thu Jan 26, 2012 9:17 am

Diamond, have your encounters with people changed much over the years? I suppose that during the height of SBTB's fame, people would walk past you and think to themselves, "Hey, that's that huge dork from Saved By The Bell. What an ugly homo!" However, as you age fewer and fewer young people know who you are. I suspect that a large % of the people who walk past you now think to themselves, "What a creepy weirdo. I bet that homo sucks a lot of cock!"

Please discuss how the transition from being known as the "dorky Screech" to a "creepy weirdo" has affected your life.



Tue Jan 24, 2012 7:59 am

Diamond, do you remember when you visited a Bayside school board meeting and motioned that the team's mascot be changed from the Bayside Tigers to the Bayside Jock Straps? Remember when Mr. Tuttle stood up and made a motion that you be ass-raped for presenting such a stupid motion and being such a ugly faggot? Remember when you got raped by 50 dudes at the meeting and had several microphones shoved up your brownpipe? Remember when semen deposited in your asshole dripped into the microphones causing a short-circuit? Remember when you were electrocuted by the microphones and nearly died? Remember how hard everyone laughed? Remember how you narrowly averted death when Belding tripped on the microphone cords while waddling while naked over to you to masturbate? Remember when the microphone cords ripped out of the electric socket when he tripped? You sure learned to shut your trap that time!



Tue Jan 24, 2012 6:09 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, remember the episode where the Big Bopper got you to go scuba diving? Remember when once you were under water he took your air hose and stuck it in his asshole then began ripping nasty farts? Remember how you breathed Mr. Beldings farts instead of oxygen for nearly an hour? Remember how that caused you to suffer massive brain damage? Belding sure got you good that time Dman!


ROCCO



It would have been funny if Diamond's lungs had expanded like a blowfish as they filled up with Belding's farts!




Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:48 pm

Diamond, remember that episode where you walked into your parents' bedroom and caught your TV dad, Mr. Powers, having a hot three-way with Becky the Duck and Hound Dog? Remember how Mr. Powers was eating out Becky the Duck's cooch while Hound Dog was doing him right in the ass? Remember when you looked off to the side and saw your TV mom, Mrs. Powers, fingering herself while watching the orgy? Remember how angry Becky the Duck, Hound Dog, and Mr. Powers were at you for interrupting their deviant sexual practices? Remember when they all attacked you and started biting you? Remember when Becky flew up and bit your huge hook nose with her beak and then flew up to the ceiling and dropped duck turds into your Jew-fro? Remember when Hound Dog bit you in your groin and bit off your baby-sized cock? Remember when your dad gave you a vampire-like bite in the neck? Remember when caught tetanus from the Hound Dog and Becky the Duck bites and caught rabies from your dad's bite? Remember how your dad was apparently a Trojan horse carrier of rabies for some unexplained reason? What was that all about?



Sat Jan 21, 2012 3:14 am

Diamond, are you busy planning a romantic Valentine's Day date with your gay lover, Mr. Belding? Remember when he handed you a candy box last year that you thought was filled with chocolate turtles, but when you opened the box you discovered he had eaten all of the chocolate candies and then shit in the box? Remember how that was the most thoughtful gift you have ever received?



Thu Jan 19, 2012 11:21 am

rocco wrote:Dman, remember that time you put your precious baby pictures and mementos in a storage unit? Remember when instead of paying the rent on the storage unit you bought some Arby's? Remember how your crap went up for sale because of this? Remember how you thought you could go to the auction and get your shit back for a dollar or two? Remember when Dave Hester from the show "Storage Wars" was there? Remember how annoying you were when your unit came up? Remember how to place a bid you screamed "Zoinks"? Remember how this annoyed Dave Hester and he began to bid with his trademark "Yup"? Remember how you only had eight dollars and began to cry after your "Zoinks" at eight bucks was quickly met with a "Yup" taking the bid to nine dollars and far out of your financial range? Remember how Dave won the auction and took a box of your personal photos, then set the rest of your shit on fire? Remember how you began to cry and the auctioneer came over and jabbered some auction speak in your ear while he reached his hand down your pants and crushed your tiny dick? Remember how Dave listed the box of your personal pictures and memories on eBay and I bought them for $115? Remember how you followed the eBay auction but $115 was like a million dollars to you? Remember how you whined to the arbynator and she comforted you by ripping a hideous fart on your hook nose? Remember how I posted your personal pics for the world to enjoy then wiped my ass with your childhood memories? That sure was funny Dman!


ROCCO



I think I saw that episode! Wasn't that the episode where Barry, the 60+-year old retiree showed up with a midget wearing stilts to scope out the storage lockers up for auction? As I recall, the midget kept smacking Diamond in the head with a stilt while Barry masturbated vigorously!



Wed Jan 18, 2012 9:02 am

Diamond, one of my friends has convinced me to take a chance on heterosexuality. So I have a date with a girl this coming weekend, although I bet it will be a complete waste of time because I heard that girls don't have cocks like we do. By the way, this girl is 10 times better looking than any of the fat heinous beasts you have been known to pretend to date.

Important Questions for Diamond - Part IV

Here are some of my important questions for Diamond that have been posted over at the new Dustin Diamond Love forum:

Tue Jan 17, 2012 4:15 am

rocco wrote:

arbys_shitpipe wrote:Rocco I can indeed confirm that your NFL story is true. Tom Brady actually feels that his 5 touchdown pass first half on Saturday was tainted by the fact that Diamond witnessed it. He was absolutely seething with anger when he heard the news and that's why the NFL was forced to issue Diamond such a stern letter.


I heard that he made Giselle Bundechen wear a Jew Fro wig that night and ass-fucked her to take out his rage for Diamond watching his game! I heard she obliged and even through in a few "Zoinks" for extra realism!


ROCCO


I heard that Bridget Moynahan, an actress and the mother of Tom Brady's child, watched the encounter between Tom and Giselle while fingering herself vigorously!


Mon Jan 16, 2012 9:28 am

Diamond, it is time for you to come clean and finally admit how you spent your Saved By The Bell fortune. I remember reading that you have declared bankruptcy twice now, and the first time was sometime right after SBTB was cancelled. How on earth did you piss all of that money away so quickly? I know that you could not possibly have blown it all on Taco Bell and Arby's - did you purchase extravagant gifts for your many gay lovers?


Fri Jan 13, 2012 9:36 am

Diamond, Roman Catholics around the world celebrate Ash Wednesday as the start of Lent in February or March. Please confirm that you have your own "Wednesday" holiday call "Ass Wednesday." Is it true that you celebrate Ass Wednesday every week instead of the annual Ash Wednesday celebration? Also, as you may know, Catholic who attend Mass on Ash Wednesday may have a priest make the sign of the cross in with ashes on their foreheads. Is it true that you have your own variance of this whereby your gay lovers on Ass Wednesday draw swastikas with shit on your forehead? Please get back to me soon, ass fuck!


Fri Jan 13, 2012 12:35 am

Diamond, I just discovered that a search for "queer fantasies" on google lists my Dustin Diamond queer blog as the #2 hit! Does it turn you on knowing that your name is highly correlated with a search string such as "queer fantasies"? Get back to me soon, assfuck!


Thu Jan 12, 2012 11:24 am

Diamond, is it true that you have been waiting anxiously for a phone call offering you your big break as a headline movie actor? Is it true that you receive 276 calls per day and that you personally answer each call, hoping you will be offered a starring role? Please confirm that of the 276 calls, 273 are obscene phone calls - 115 are random dudes farting in the phone, 67 are dudes jerking off, and 58 are of random dudes pissing or taking dumps in a toilet, and 33 are of dudes having anal sex or raping dogs or farm animals. Please confirm that the only thee legitimate calls you receive are from debt collectors or the doctor from the free clinic who is checking in on your progress healing from various anal rapes.


Wed Jan 11, 2012 9:40 am

Diamond, how many potentially deadly diseases are raging your body right now? We have all heard about the Super-AIDS, Herpes, Gonorrhea, crabs, Syphilis, anal warts, Ebola, and even the Sickle Cell Anemia you contracted from Mylo the janitor. Do you currently have any other diseases? Also, is it true that ever since giving anal birth to your butt-baby son, Zoinks Diamond, you now have an anal period every month? Does Belding throw you a beating when your hormone levels change and behave like more of a bitch than usual as you experience anal PMS once a month?


Tue Jan 10, 2012 7:23 am

Diamond, why do you enjoy being kicked in the nuts and used as a human urinal cake? Man, you are one sick and demented fuck!


Sun Jan 08, 2012 10:04 am

Diamond, give us the horny details pertaining to your 35th birthday celebration that took place on Saturday! Did you you receive some yummy diarrhea sprays and golden showers? Did anyone give you a heavy and sweaty pair of Arabian Goggles? Get back to me soon, buddy and pencil me in for a 12:45 PM rimjob in the men's room bathroom stall at the Port Washington Taco Bell for Tuesday. Isn't that when you receive your break during the middle of your drive-thru shift at the Taco Bell?


Sat Jan 07, 2012 4:47 am

Diamond, let's meet up at midnight tonight to celebrate your 35th birthday in style! I hope you are covered in diarrhea, semen, piss, and blood after an awesome dumpster party!!! I bet you are creaming your pants just thinking about this tremendous opportunity!


Fri Jan 06, 2012 6:48 am

Diamond, please describe what it feels like when an intoxicated bar patron who has had far too much to drink barfs onto your Jew-fro. Does the warm barf warm you up as quickly as a nice golden shower or diarrhea spray? Please contact me to discuss.


Thu Jan 05, 2012 9:28 am

Diamond, do you remember that time when Belding ate dinner at Taco Bell and then returned you at the truck stop where you were working the midnight shift at the bathroom stall gloryhole? Remember when Belding dropped his 52-inch waist trousers and then ripped an incredibly loud fart that registered 160 decibels, which is 100 times louder than a jet engine? Remember when your eardrums where instantly ruptured and started bleeding? Remember when Belding lubed up his cock with your blood and then ass-raped you? Taco Bell really got you good that time!


Wed Jan 04, 2012 9:03 pm

Diamond, remember that time when James and Actor and Max pulled a train with you at The Max in front of the Stansbury college representative? Remember how the Stansbury college rep was eating out Belding's ass while watching you being violated? Remember when the Stansbury college rep said that you were a disgrace and that Stansbury didn't admit faggots? Remember how he continued to tongue Belding's ass while Slater had anal sex with him as he explained why you weren't Stansbury material? What was that all about?


Wed Jan 04, 2012 10:50 am

Diamond, does it ever bother you when you are doing laundry at a public laundry mat and some random dude opens the door to the dryer in which your Zubaz clothing are drying and pisses or sprays diarrhea onto your drying clothes?

Is it true that you enjoy doing the crossword jumble in the free newspaper while you wait for your clothes to dry? Does it annoy you when rabid Saved By The Bell fans recognize you and then stand near your face and drop ass?


Wed Jan 04, 2012 6:10 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, can you confirm when you were younger your Dad, Mr. Powers, and his good friend Jm J Bullock took you to a club in San Francisco named "Bug Juice"? Is it true that you had previously gone to summer camp and knew "bug juice" to be some type of kool aid drink? Is it true you were surprised when the club turned out not to be a place that served kool aid, but instead had tons of dudes ass fucking each other then squirting their HIV+ "Bug Juice" into each others mouths? Is it true your father and already HIV+ Jm J Bullock began having unprotected homosexual sex with tons of dudes while you stood there and watched? Is it true you felt an excited rumbling from your tiny zoinker? Dman, what the fuck was up with that? Who takes a kid to a hard core gay club??? You really had a fucked up childhood that time!


Man, that was hot! I remember drinking "bug juice" at summer camp when I was a kid, but it was only Kool-Aid. I bet that the 14-year-old Diamond was star attraction at the gay club, as raging queers are always on the prowl for an innocent young boy to molest. I bet that they really gave it to Diamond!



Tue Jan 03, 2012 7:13 pm

Jeremy Miller Love wrote:Hey Screech, why do you enjoy getting railed by horny old men while in a dumpster? Which is your favorite brand of dumpster? Do you prefer it to be chest high so you can hold onto the sides, or a tall one so you feel like you can't escape? Let me know, beak nose!


Come on Diamond, answer this important question. Also, when you are in your dumpster and get cold, do you use a rat as a portable space heater?


Tue Jan 03, 2012 6:43 am

Diamond, you look disgusted by the fact that this girl hugged you. Please confirm that you would rather be French-kissing Slater's asshole while he is in the middle of taking a shit.

Mon Jan 02, 2012 8:32 pm

Diamond, your 35th birthday is on this coming Saturday. How are you going to celebrate? Will you offer discounted blowjobs and rimjobs for 3 cents instead of the standard 15 cents rate?


Sat Dec 31, 2011 8:10 pm

Diamond, is your neck sore after a few hours of pressing your ear up to the Bayside Teacher's Lounge bathroom wall to eavesdrop on teachers taking dumps on taco lunch day? Did your dad introduce you to the pleasurable experience of listening to random dudes going diarrhea, or did you pick this up on your own? Please get back to me soon, buddy!


Fri Dec 30, 2011 2:04 am

Diamond, what do you have planned for New Year's Eve? Are you going to be working the alleys behind bars in Milwaukee allowing drunk patrons to piss in your Jew-fro for a mere 25 cents? I bet that you enjoy the warm piss and wet farts on your face to warm you up during the cold winter nights. Have you been cuddling with rats for warmth recently while sleeping in the dumpster behind the Port Washington Taco Bell?


Thu Dec 29, 2011 11:27 am

Diamond, I loved you in Anal Cum Buckets #77 where you played "Jizz Bucket #2." When is Anal Cum Buckets #78 due to be released? Is it true that there is a scene in the movie where the Demasi twins pull a queer train with you?


Tue Dec 27, 2011 11:54 am

Why do you look like such a homo in this photo?

Tue Dec 27, 2011 11:53 am

Diamond, why do you have a toilet seat around your neck in this photo? It looks like Slater went diarrhea on your chest and face!

Tue Dec 27, 2011 11:51 am

Diamond, is your thumb up the Hispanic guy's ass in this photo? Your left arm is visible as you were afraid to touch the girl to your left, but the dude on the far left of the photo has a weird look on his face as if you were giving him anal pleasure!

Tue Dec 27, 2011 3:07 am

Diamond, remember that time when you were eating out Belding's asshole while your tv dad, Mr. Powers, sucked on Belding's massive cock? Remember when your tv mom, Mrs. Powers, sat on a dresser and fingered herself while cheering on you and your dad? What in the hell was that all about? You sure had a fucked up family!


Fri Dec 23, 2011 8:07 am

Diamond, please confirm that you suffer from sickle cell anemia as a result of all of the semen that Mylo pumped into your ass and mouth over the years.


Tue Dec 20, 2011 11:42 am

Diamond, I found this old photo of you from the early 1990s where you claim that your New Year's resolution was to "train hard in weight-lifting and martial arts ... and do more films."

Diamond, 20 years have passed and you have done any on that stuff although you have had some minor film roles where you appear for less than a minute in certain films.

Why don't you create a more realistic New Year's resolution thus year, such as to have anal sex with 700 random truckers, contract AIDS, or to become homeless and be forced to suck off strangers for 5 cents/blowjob?


Tue Dec 20, 2011 3:51 am

Hey ass-fuck, do you remember the scene from Saved By The Bell: Hawaiian Style when Chief Pupuku and Mr. Belding spit-roasted you while Slater pissed in your Jew-fro and Zack dumped the red-hot ashes from Chief Pupuku's peace pipe onto your back?

My "Remember When..." Queer Fantasies - Part XI

Here are more of my "Remember When..." queer fantasies:

"Diamond Learns About Independence Day" recap
Wed Jul 04, 2012 5:46 am

Diamond, are you going to Mr. Belding's Independence Day barbeque again this year? Remember how last year Belding said he only had enough food for the other 25 people at the barbeque and that you would have to eat whatever food crumbs accidentally fell onto the ground, although you would need to be quick to grab the food before a bird flew down to grab it? Remember when you showed up at the barbeque and saw that everyone had already arrived? Remember how Belding had assigned seats at the picnic table in his backyard? Remember when you saw a name place on the picnic table that read, "Hound Dog" and you assumed that this was a joke? Remember when you sat down and then heard barking and saw that Hound Dog was in line waiting to get a hamburger from the grill and was upset that you were trying to take his seat at the table? Remember when Belding yelled, "Diamond, get the hell away from Hound Dog's place at the table!" Remember when Belding said that you would need to lay under the table and hope that someone dropped some food? Remember when you laid down under the table and did manage to catch a few crumbs as Belding shoveled handfuls of hot dogs and Oreo cookies into his mouth at a time, making a big mess all over the place? Remember when you felt an intense pain on your right foot and looked over and saw that Kevin the Robot had just rolled on top of your leg? Remember when you yelled out "Zoinks!" and Belding told you to shut up and stop bothering Kevin, his guest at the party? Remember when you saw Kevin grabbing a hamburger with his metal claws and insert it into his metal mouth even though he is a robot and is incapable of digesting food? Remember when you told Kevin to give you a hamburger because he wasn't able to consume food? Remember how you hurt Kevin's feelings, as he liked to pretend that he was a human being? Remmeber when grabbed you with his metal claws and dragged you from underneath the picnic table? Remember when Kevin started extending his metal cock and you realized that a rape was coming? Remember when Kevin ripped off your Zubaz and inserted his rusty metal cock into your anus and started raping you? Remember when Kevin got mad at you for interrupting his dinner and started pissing in your Jew-fro? Remember when you saw that apples were falling to the ground from a nearby tree that was shaking? Remember when you looked up and saw Mr. Tuttle perched on one of the upper branches naked while masturbating vigorously? Remember when Slater dropped trou and sprayed diarrhea onto your bird chest? Remember when Zack's dad took off his suit pants and you saw that we had been wearing that suit commando, completely sans underwear? Remember when Zack's dad started teabagging you, dunking his nuts in and out of your mouth while he was on the phone selling IBM computers to a local business? Remember when Maxwell Nerdstrom and Rod Belding started pelting you with the apples that had fallen from the apple tree? Remember how you lost consciousness a few minutes later and slipped into a coma? Remember when you woke from the coma a day later and discovered that Rod Belding's bare ass was rubbing against your face as he ripped fart after fart? Remember how a doctor said that you had suffered a broken nose, two cracked ribs, and contracted three STDs during the attack at Belding's place? You sure learned about Independence Day that time!



"The Diff'rent Strokes Gang Visits Diamond" recap
Sun Jun 24, 2012 10:49 pm

Diamond, do you remember that episode of Diff'rent Strokes where Mr. Brown, the guy who looked like professional wrestler Arn Anderson, kidnapped that little red-headed brat, Sam? Remember when Mr. Brown, Mr. Horton, and little Sam both showed up on the Saved By The Bell set unannounced one day during the third season of SBTB? Remember when they told you that they were sick of raping Sam because his asshole was all stretched out and could not sufficiently grip their middle-aged homosexual cocks to provide enough pleasure? Remember when you said, "Zoinks! Why are you telling me this?" Remember when Mr. Brown got that crazy look in his eye and slugged you in the gut? Remember when Mr. Horton started whipping you in the head with a bicycle chain, drawing blood? Remember when Mr. Horton wrapped the bicycle chain around your neck and started strangling you, nearly murdering you? Remember how much this turned on Mr. Brown, who popped a massive tent and then pulled down his pants? Remember when Mr. Brown tore off your Zubaz and inserted his massive cock in your ass? Remember when Mr. Horton released the bicycle chain from your neck and then shoved his erect cock down your throat? Remember when they pulled a queer train on you? Remember how Sam pissed his pants like he did on every episode of Diff'rent Strokes as he saw you being violated? Remember when Willis Jackson walked into your dressing room and you thought he would save you? Remember how Willis was smoking crack and had no idea where he was, sat down in a recliner and passed out? Remember how Brown and Horton raped you for the next 35 minutes until they had each blown a few loads into you and then they left? Remember when they got up and left, leaving you in a puddle of blood and semen on the floor? Remember when Belding saw Horton and Brown walking out of your dressing room and assumed that you had been cheating on him? Remember when Belding walked into your dressing room and yelled at you and then raped you while Sam watched and pissed his pants again at the sight? You sure got screwed over that time!

Dustin Diamond's Movie Roles

I discovered the following list of Dustin Diamond's movie roles on another forum. I hadn't realized that Diamond was such a prolific actor! I have never heard of many of these roles and I find it difficult to believe that Diamond actually played a character called "Kurt Steinberg" in a movie. However, I present this list for your viewing pleasure:

Queer Bait #5 (2010)... Dusty
Assblasters #78 (2009)... Raging queer
Shaved By The Balls (2008)... Hairless crotch guy
Screeched (2006)... Gay dude
Bug Chasers (2005)... Mitch Cumstein
Hook Nosed Queers (2005)... Dude receiving a Hot Karl
13th Grade (2004)... Corey
Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star (2003)... Himself
The Masturbater (2003)... Spanky Diamond
From Justin to Kelly (2003)... Dork at beach
Big Fat Liar (2002)... Wolf Party Guest
Jane White Is Sick & Twisted (2002)... Simone
Anal Cum Buckets (2002)... Jizz Bucket #2
Rest Stop (2002)... Gay bathroom attendant
The Zoo (2002)... weirdo sucking off gorilla
Made (2001)... Himself
Diarrhea Sprays #4 (2001)... Ass rimmer in scene #3
HIV+ (documentary) (2001)... Himself
Mr. Horton (2001)... Dudley
Longshot (2000)... Waiter
Billy Elliot (2000)... Pedophile
Life Sentence (1999)... Prison Bitch
Gay Gloryhole 5 (1999)... Dustin Jewberg
The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)... Anal rape victim
Chairman of the Board (1998)... Man tossing Carrot Top's salad
Highway Robbery (1998) (TV movie)... The Booty Burglar
The Birdcage (1996)... Exotic dancer
Leprechaun 3 (1995)... Rim Goblin
Houseguest (1995)... Kid in bathroom listening to Sinbad taking a dump
Santa With Muscles (1995)... Gay kid
Saved by the Bell: The New Class (1993) (TV series)... Samuel "Screech" Powers (1994-2000)
Screech on Life (1994) (TV series)... Samuel "Screech" Powers
Pulp Fiction (1994)... "the Gimp"
Saved by the Bell: Wedding in Las Vegas (1994) (TV)... Samuel "Screech" Powers
Teen Wolf 4: Stiles in Action (1994).... Guy eating cheese
Saved by the Bell: The College Years (1993) (TV series)... Samuel "Screech" Powers
Robocop 3 (1993)... Gay robot
Rising Sun (1993)... annoying waiter at party
Taken from Behind (1992)... Kurt Steinberg
Basic Instinct (1992)... Dude with genital warts
Saved by the Bell: Hawaiian Style (1992) (TV)... Samuel "Screech" Powers
Cool As Ice (1991) ... Gay kid watching Vanilla Ice take a piss
No Holds Barred (1989) ... Kid eating out Hulk Hogan's ass
Saved by the Bell (1989) (TV series)... Samuel "Screech" Powers
Life Goes On (1989) (TV series)... Corky
She's Out of Control (1989)... Kid on the Beach
Big Top Pee-wee (1988)... Child - Deke
Purple People Eater (1988)... Big Z
Good Morning, Miss Bliss (a.k.a. Saved by the Bell: The Junior High Years (1987) (TV series)... Samuel "Screech" Powers
Speaker of the Mouse (1988)... Thaddeus Maximus, Jr.
Charles In Charge (1988)....Charles "Nut Buddy"
The Price of Life (1987)... Young Stiles
C.H.U.D. (1984)... C.H.U.D. #3
Police Academy (1984)... Annoying kid at the Blue Oyster gay bar

Unsung Heroes - Dustin Diamond and His TV Dad, Mr. Powers!!!

Dustin Diamond and his TV father, Mr. Powers, have received recognition as "unsung heroes" for their years of service working at gloryholes as shown in the images below (click on the images for larger views)! Way to go guys!!!

Important Questions for Diamond - Part III

Here are my quick questions for Diamond that were posted over at this Dustin Diamond forum:

Jun 5 2011, 09:40 PM

Diamond, I went diarrhea this morning. Does this information turn you on? I accidentally flushed the toilet, as I was in a hurry to go somewhere. Although I know this disappoints you, I am on my way to a Mexican place for dinner, so I should be able to produce some nice diarrhea sprays later tonight. Let's hook up!


Jun 7 2011, 07:44 AM

Diamond, are you still dating Bob Golic? Does he still wear those skin-tight acid washed jeans even though he is fat tub of crap? After he anally rapes you, do you enjoy sniffing stale farts in his ass portion of those jeans? I bet he sweats all day in those jeans and produces a rank odor right in the seat of those pants that really turns you on, you demented faggot!


Jun 9 2011, 06:31 PM

Diamond, Sugar Ray Leonard recently admitted that one of his Olympic coaches sexually abused him prior to his boxing matches in the 1976 Olympics in Canada. Diamond, it is time for you to come clean and admit all of the things that happened to you on the rowdy Saved By The Bell set. The public wants to know about all of those rusty trombones Belding made you give him or all of the times you were anally raped in the alley behind the set.


Jun 12 2011, 06:12 AM

Diamond, remember that episode where Mylo gambled away his welfare check while playing dice with a bunch of other crackheads? Remember when Belding was talking to you in his office about the incident and you said that Mylo was a "dumb spade"? Remember how unbeknownst to you, Belding had the intercom on during this conversation? Remember how your comment started a minor race riot? Remember when 30 black kids and Mylo himself rushed into Belding's office and started beating you up and threw all of the dice that they each had in their pockets at you? Remember when you started crying and Mylo got mad and started hitting you in the head with a metal dustpan? Remember when one of the black kids opened a bag of the sawdust Mylo used to soak up barf and dumped in into your Jew-fro? Remember when another kid took Mylo's bottle of Colt 45 that was hidden in the janitor's closet and broke it over your head? Remember when the other kids started stabbing you with shards of glass and then used your blood to lube up their cocks? Remember when they all raped you and you contracted Ebola? You sure learned about race relations that time!


Jun 20 2011, 04:55 AM

Diamond, I saw that the struggling Arby's chain was sold last week. You certainly eat there quite a bit - you should give the chain's management some suggestions to turn things around. I bet you would tell them that their roast beef sandwiches would taste better if they soaked in piss, wouldn't you, faggot?


Jun 21 2011, 08:45 PM

Diamond, I think it has been pretty well-established that you have contracted many dangerous and potentially deadly STDs from sucking off your hero, father figure, and gay lover, Mr. Belding. Please confirm that in addition to the STDs, you have also suffered from lockjaw while sucking off his massive wang. Can you even chew your Taco Bell when suffering from lockjaw? Or does Belding chew it first and then spit it into your mouth? Better yet, does Belding chew your tacos and then shit in your mouth 35 minutes later as the greasy tacos run their course through his bloated body?


Jun 24 2011, 08:44 AM

Diamond, I just realized that the initials for Rick Bawls are "R.B." If you speak these initials, it almost sounds like you are saying "Arby," as in "Arby's," your favorite restaurant! Is this just some strange coincidence? Or are you in cahoots with that raging queer, Rick Bawls?


Jun 26 2011, 12:24 AM

Diamond, why were you Belding's minimum wage assistance for so many years? Remember how you were taking an elementary school education course at California University in the fall of 1994 during your sophomore year and had to work as Belding's assistant for a semester to complete the course? Remember how Belding was supposed to fill out an evaluation form at the end of the course so that you could pass the course? Remember when you walked into his off on at the end of the semester and told him you enjoyed working with him and asked him to sign the evaluation form for you? Remember when Belding took the form, dropped his 58-inch polyester trousers and took a dump on the evaluation form? Remember when you turned in the form and got an incomplete for the course at California University? Remember when you had to retake the course and Belding did the same thing at the end of the spring semester of 1995? Remember how you kept retaking the course until the spring semester of 2000 when Belding retired from Bayside? You sure were a dipshit that time! Why didn't you change college majors or attempt to become an assistant at Valley for a semester?


Jun 26 2011, 10:39 PM

Diamond, I got up early this morning to run a 5k race. After the race, I walking into a port-a-potty on the race site to take a piss and discover that some nasty, low-life, scum-ridden motherfucker and had taken a huge dump in a plastic urinal off on the side of the port-a-potty that feeds into the blue toilet water below. Of course, this shit log had probably been deposited hours beforehand and the port-a-potty smelled even worse than those things normally smell. Most people would be disgusted by this, but I bet you wouldn't be - I bet you've popped a tent and are rubbing one out right now, aren't you, you sick fuck!!!


Jun 30 2011, 06:20 AM

Diamond, I found this porta-potty attack video from the Vancouver riots:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kD5l8p9b0P8

Please confirm that you were the guy who fell from the top of the porta-potty when the other guy rammed into it. Is it true that the other guy discovered that you were sitting on top of the porta-potty pleasuring yourself while listening to him take a dump two minutes earlier? Is that why he rammed into the porta-potty, causing it to nearly tip over and resulting in that devastating fall where you also broke your neck when you hit the pavement? Did those policemen ass-rape you?


Jul 4 2011, 09:22 AM

Diamond, is it true that your beard smells like baked ass? Please confirm that on a typical day your beard contains 3 lbs of dried semen, diarrhea, and peanuts from shit sprays. Get back to me pronto, fucknut!


Jul 7 2011, 08:44 AM

Diamond, please confirm that when you were a student at Bayside you would often crawl down into the Port-a-potties at the football field and hide down there during football games. Is it true that you would pleasure yourself several times during each game when random people would enter the Port-a-potty and piss and take dumps on you? Is it true that you still sneak into the old Port-a-potties to this day even though you are now 34 years old and a fat tub of crap? You are one nasty fuck!


Jul 13 2011, 09:29 AM

Diamond, why are you so sexually attracted to Mr. Belding's saggy and dumpy fat ass? Do you enjoy grabbing it while making out, or do all of the rank odors emanating from his unwashed butthole turn really turn you on?


Jul 15 2011, 02:41 AM

Diamond, is it true that you sucked off Mylo the janitor so many times that you caught Sickle Cell Anemia from him?


Jul 21 2011, 07:33 AM

Diamond, have you taken refuge from the heat wave currently blanketing much of the country? The inside of your dumpster probably reaches a good 115 degrees as food rots around you and you essentially bake inside your scalding hot metal enclosure during the day. Do random dudes exiting the nearby Taco Bell piss into the dumpster while you are resting to cool you down? Do they also pelt you with garbage and dogshit they find lying on the ground? Please get back to me soon, buddy!


Jul 25 2011, 04:33 AM

Diamond, please confirm that you have been evicted from your house in Port Washington and have had to use this make-shift toilet at the abandoned rest stop off the highway:

Jul 27 2011, 09:43 AM

Diamond, is it true that when you were a student at Bayside, Mr. Belding would often sneak into your room through the window? Remember how Belding would make out with you and then have anal sex with you without giving you a reach-around or any sort of pleasurable touching? Remember how after sex Belding would put on his pink jock strap and would cuddle with you in bed? Remember how the jockstrap covered Belding's bulgy ball-sac, but obviously didn't cover his obese ass? Remember when Belding would often eat a Domino's sausage pizza prior to coming over and would have gas as he laid in bed with you? Remember when Belding would rip wet fart after wet fart as his body attempted to digest the greasy pizza? Remember all of the shit stains his wet farts would leave on your Winnie the Pooh bedsheets? Is it true that you still have those soiled sheets and jerked off while sniffing them about 30 minutes ago?


Jul 28 2011, 05:11 AM

Diamond, remember when you watched the Chuck Berry video where he rips an extremely loud fart in a hooker's face? Remember when Belding ripped ass in your face a few days later and you complained that his fart wasn't nearly as loud as Chuck Berry's? Remember how mad your rude and insensitive comment made Belding? Remember when Belding stomped on your face and raped you in front of Hound Dog and Kevin the Robot to teach you a lesson? Stupid fag!


Jul 29 2011, 09:20 AM

Diamond, remember that episode where Slater laid down face-first naked on your bed while you Belding raped you on the bed? Remember how Belding shoved your hook nose into Slater's smelly asshole as he raped you? Remember how you instantly lost your load as the combination of inhaling the odor of Slater's smelly asshole and the anal stretching from Belding's rape of you was such an enormous turn-on? You sure were a silly faggot that tine!


Jul 29 2011, 10:07 PM

Diamond, I see that a new Smurfs movie is coming out and it looks like a horrible movie. This got me thinking - remember when you stated in interviews that you put so much effort into creating the "unique" Screech character and made him your own? It seems to me that all you did was rip off the "Brainy" smurf character, with the exception, of course, that your character got dumber and dumber every year to the point at which you appeared to have a learning disability. Like you, the Brainy smurf character was never funny and served no purpose other than to annoy the other characters. Another similarity is that Brainy smurf was also gay and was often ass-raped by Papa Smurf and Gargamel - Smurfette would often watch these incidents while fingering herself.

You are a character thief!


Aug 2 2011, 06:43 PM

Diamond, why do you like it so much when the entire wrestling team goes to the bathroom on your face? Does it turn you on in some sick, demented way when you think about the fact and high school teenagers are pissing and shitting on your 34-year-old face?


Aug 3 2011, 01:40 AM

Diamond, when is your new porno coming out? I suggest that you craft a storyline based on the "Miss Bayside" episode. You could call your next porno "Miss Bayside" and the plot could be centered around you dressing up as a cheerleader and being viciously ass-raped by the entire football team, Mr. Belding, Rod Belding, Zack's dad, Hound Dog, and Maxwell Nerdstrom in that order.


Aug 4 2011, 05:03 AM

Diamond, why do you like wearing Zubaz-brand clothing that is soaked with Hound Dog's piss?


Aug 22 2011, 08:51 AM

Diamond, remember that time when Kevin the Robot had a sleepover and invited the robot from Rocky IV over to your house? Remember when the Rocky IV robot and Kevin the Robot spit-roasted you and pumped you full of their dirty oil? You sure were a bitch that time!


Aug 30 2011, 05:51 AM

Diamond, please confirm that your ass is permanently damaged from all of the daily rapes that occurred when you were a student at Bayside. Does it bother you when Belding tears off your adult diapers to rape your already permanently torn asshole? Or do that turn you on in some sick, perverted way?


Aug 30 2011, 06:04 PM

Diamond, remember that time when Belding ripped a fart right in your face and you said, "Ewww" and made gagging noises? Remember how your melodramatic behavior upset Belding? Remember when Belding said, "Dammit Diamond! My farts are my gift to you - how dare you be rude to me after I gave you this valuable gift, you cock-sucking Jew-bastard faggot!!!" Remember when Belding raped you, infecting you with a strain of Super-AIDS in the process? You sure learned proper gift receiving etiquette that time!

Aug 30 2011, 11:44 PM

Diamond, remember that time when Belding accidentally stepped in dogshit? Remember how mad that made Belding? Remember when he used your hook nose and Brillo-like Jew-fro to wipe the dogshit off the heel of his shoes? Remember how Belding scraped a large chunk of dogshit as a well as dead grass, pebbles, and broken glass that was stuck to the dogshit off on your hook nose and you inhaled it?


Oct 26 2011, 12:00 PM

Diamond, I demand that you bring back dustindiamond.com or at least create an electronic bulletin board to allow your queer fans to schedule unprotected butt-sex with you. I want to fire my seed up your brownpipe after taking a dump in your mouth. At which gas station are you currently pumping gas? I see you seen - I am off to the Port Washington Taco Bell.


Dec 16 2011, 01:20 PM

Diamond, is it cool with you if I drop my pants and piss on your Beef'n Cheddar from Arby's while you are eating it? Does the bun taste better when it is soaked with piss? Does your fake wife finger herself when a random stranger comes up and disrespects you?

My "Remember When..." Queer Fantasies - Part X

Here are more of my "Remember When..." queer fantasies:

"Belding Refuses to 'Put 'Em on the Glass'" recap
Posted: Mon May 07, 2012 7:41 am

Diamond, remember how you were a big fan of Sir Mix-A-Lot's mid-90s song, "Put 'Em On The Glass"? Remember when you were in your rusty 1978 Ford Pinto and drove past Belding's 1986 Yugo on Bayside Street? Remember when you rolled down the window and yelled out, "Hey Chief, put 'em on the glass!!!" Remember how you were hoping that Belding would take off his shirt and press his fatty male boobs up against the driver's side window in his car? Remember how Belding motioned for you to roll down your car window? Remember when you rolled down your window as requested and then Belding pulled out a bottle of lighter fluid and sprayed the interior of your car? Remember when Bedlding then threw a red-hot car cigarette lighter into your car, igniting the light fluid? Remember when you screamed and drove off the road in a panic as your skin painfully burned under the searing heat of the fire? Remember when you crashed into a light pole and rolled out of the car onto the ground? Remember when you looked up and saw Mr. Tuttle hiding on top of the light pole naked and masturbating furiously? Remember when the fire was finally doused when Tuttle blew his massive load onto your burning body? Remember how you spent the next six weeks in intensive car in critical condition and almost died? You sure learned to be respectful to your superiors that time!



"Diamond Sees 'Moneyball'" recap
Posted: Wed May 02, 2012 11:05 am

Diamond, do you remember when the movie "Moneyball" starring Brad Pitt was released to movie theaters last year? Remember when Belding called you to his office and asked if you wanted to go see Moneyball with him after school that day? Remember how happy you were because your idol, Mr. Belding, wanted to see Moneyball with you? Remember when Belding told you to meet him in Coach Sonski's shop classroom after school so that you could see Moneyball? Remember how you assumed that Belding had obtained a bootlegged copy and was going to screen it for you on a TV in the shop classroom? Remember how showed up at the classroom and Belding asked you to sit down? Remember when he said, "Are you ready to see Moneyball?" Remember when you replied that you were and then Belding dropped his pants and shoved his middle-aged wrinkled balls in your face? Remember when he said that his nickname for his right testicle was "Moneyball"? Remember how his balls smelled like stale farts, piss, and a sweaty gym sock because he had apparently been wearing the same pair of underwear for the past week without showering? Remember when you said, "Yuck!" and "Zoinks!" as he rubbed his "Moneyball" all over your face? Remember how Belding became enraged by your rude behavior? Remember when he tied you up with cable ties that were laying on a table in the shop classroom and then started whipping you with an electrical cord leaving painful red welts all over your bird chest, stomach, and tiny balls? Remember how you looked up and saw Mr. Tuttle perched on top of a ceiling light watching the attack? Remember how Tuttle's pants were down around his ankles and he was masturbating furiously? Remember when Belding gave you a sweaty pair of Arabian Goggles and then tea-bagged you by dunking his Moneyball into your mouth? Remember when Belding got up, turned you onto your stomach, ripped off your Zubaz, and then raped you? Remember when heard the doorknob to the classroom turning and assumed it was the police who were coming to your rescue? Remember how surprised you were to see that it was Kevin the Robot? Remember how Kevin had not been seen for 20 years ever since you abandoned him at the junkyard back in 1991? Remember how relieved you were when Kevin rolled over because you assumed he was going to rescue you from Belding? Remember how less relieved you were when Kevin extended his metal cock and then grabbed your Jew-fro with his metal claws and shoved his metal cock into your mouth, forcing you to give him a robot blowjob? Remember how Belding was really giving it to you at this time and told you that he had retireved Kevin from the junkyard and converted him into a maniacal gay robot? You sure learned not to trust Mr. Belding that time!



"Kevin the Robot Teaches Diamond a Lesson" recap
Posted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 11:27 pm

Diamond, remember that episode where you caught Kevin the Robot having sex with the tailpipe on your rusty 1978 Gremlin automobile? Remember when you yelled at Kevin to stop thrusting his metal cock in and out of the tailpipe on your piece of shit car? Remember how mad Kevin was at you for interrupting him, as he was unable to climax and expel his oil out of his metal cock with you annoying and distracting him? Remember when Kevin pulled his metal cock out of the tailpipe, rolled over to you and said, "BZZZT! Diamond, I just drank several gallons of oil and need to drain oil. BZZZZTTT!!!" Remember when Kevin grabbed you with his metal claws and tore off your clothes? Remember when Kevin threw you to the ground and then rolled onto your bird chest and did several burnouts, tearing skin and leaving red marks and blood all over? Remember when Kevin inserted his unlubed metal cock into your ass and then grabbed your torso with his claws, moving you up and down on his metal cock? Remember when you yelled out not because of the large size of the metal cock, but instead because his metal cock was cold? Remember when Kevin raped you for several minutes until he blew his oily robotic load into your horribly torn ass with such force that you flew several feet up in the air? Remember when Kevin started slapping his metal claws together until he produced a spark which caused the oil to ignite which had just been discharged from his metal cock? Remember when you caught on fire as Kevin yelled out, "BZZZTTT! Ha! Ha! Ha! Take that Diamond! BZZZTT!!!" Remember when you suffered 2nd degree burns over 70% of your body? You sure learned not to interrupt Kevin while he is having sex that time!



"Diamond Learns about Electricity" recap
Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 9:15 pm

Diamond, remember that time when you were a 22-year-old teaching assistant and Belding yanked off your Zubaz in the shop classroom, exposing your pre-pubesecient tiny cock and balls? Remember when Belding pulled out a taser gun and you exclaimed, "Zoinks! Don't tase me bro!" Remember when Belding shot the taser electrodes at you, hitting you in the zoinker and applying 50,000 volts across your hairless nutbag? Remember the intense pain you felt? Remember when Belding started laughing uncontrollably? Remember when Tuttle, who was hiding on top of a bookcase, blew a load that landed in your Jew-fro? Remember how even though it was a comfortable 68 degrees in the shop classroom, Belding was sweating profusely? Remember how a huge puddle of sweat formed on the floor around him? Remember when Belding suddenly dropped his pants and pissed in the sweat puddle? Remember when Belding then grabbed your barely conscious body and dragged you into the sweat/piss puddle, soaking you? Remember when Belding grabbed a car battery that was sitting on a nearby table in the shop classroom and connected large jumper cables to the battery terminals? Remember when Belding set the car battery on the floor near the sweat/piss puddle and then dropped the open ends of the jumper cables into the seat/piss puddle? Remember how the electrical current from the battery electrocuted your soaked body? Remember how Tuttle started rubbing another one out and all of the muscles in your body tensed up during the electrocution? Remember how your skin started burning from the electrocution? Remember when Slater walked into the room and farted in your face with such force that the fart blew you out of the sweat/piss puddle, possibly saving your life from the electrocution? Remember when Slater said, "Hey Diamond, are you ok mang?" Remember when Slater ass-raped you to make sure you were still alive? You sure learned about electricity that time!



"The Biggest Loser" recap
Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 12:53 pm

Diamond, remember when you were contacted by VH1 last summer because they wanted to cast you in "The Biggest Loser"? Remember how although it seemed odd that VH1 called seeing as how the previous seasons of "The Biggest Loser" had all been on NBC in prime time? Remember how you assumed that because you had porked up and had previously appeared on "Celebrity Fit Club," VH1 wanted you back for another weight loss show? Remember when the show's producers showed up at your front door and informed you that you were the only person on the show? Remember how you narcissistically assumed that VH1 had fired other contestants because they couldn't compete against your massive celebrity and would get in your way? Remember how the show taped for an entire summer and didn't require you to perform any athletic feats? Remember how they filmed you at a comedy club, at Arby's and Taco Bell, participating in dumpster parties, being ass-raped by Mr. Belding and Kevin the Robot, being evicted from your home, and losing your SUV to repossession? Remember how excited you were you went to a department store to watch TV when "The Biggest Loser" was to air on VH1 because you thought that the show would help break you back into mega-stardom in Hollywood as people saw that you lost a couple pounds? Remember how your excitement quickly turned to disappointment when you realized that VH1's "The Biggest Loser" was not, in fact, a weight loss show but was actually a documentary-type show designed to show the world what a pathetic loser you are? Remember how the show aired interviews from Chris Burke, the Demasi twins, your former cast mates, all of whom referred to you as "hook-nosed rim goblin, "Zubaz-wearing cocksucker," and "Shithead"? Remember when you started crying until the manager at the furniture store threw you out of the store and raped you? You sure were a dipshit that time!



"Diamond Goes to a Dodgers Game" recap
Posted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 12:01 am

Diamond, remember that episode where you went to a Dodgers game on "Free gum day"? Remember how much you were yelling while watching the game? Remember how you kept yelling at Orel Hersheiser to come over and give you an autograph even though he was the starting pitcher and it was the top of the 5th inning? Remember when Orel Hersheiser got mad and threw a fastball into the stands hitting you in the eye and knocking you unconscious? Remember when Mr. Belding, your companion at the game, instructed everyone to spit out their gum onto your unconscious body? Remember when thousands of fans threw their moist chewed gum at you? Remember when you regained consciousness as you were being pelted with gum? Remember when you attempted to lift your head off the aisle floor but couldn't because hundreds of pieces of gum in your jew-fro were stuck to the floor? Remember how you were finally able to lift your head off the floor only to be immediately struck in the eye with chewing tobacco that Kirk Gibson spit into your eye? Remember how several other players had rushed into the stands and were throwing peanuts shells and also spitting tobacco onto you? Remember when Orel Hersheiser ripped off your Zubaz shirt and threw beer and then dirt from the ball field onto your bird chest? Remember how the moist dirt stuck to your chest? Remember when he said, "Hey faggot, you wanted my autograph, well here it is!" Remember when he then proceeded to drop his pants and piss his name onto the dirt canvas on your chest? Remember how the attack was replayed for years on "This Week In Baseball" as announcer Mel Allen famously exclaimed "How about that!"You sure learned to keep your trap shut at while at a ball game that time!



"The Heatwave" recap
Posted: Sat Jan 28, 2012 8:16 pm

Diamond, remember that time when there was a heatwave and the Bayside air conditioner broke? Remember how Belding would sweat profusely while wearing his 56-inch polyester dress pants? Remember how he ate 6 greasy tacos in the Bayside cafeteria on "taco day" and kept dropping ass the rest of the day? Remember when he got horny while watching you parade around in your Zubaz? Remember when he called you into his office and ripped a loud fart? Remember how much this turned you on? Remember when he unbuttoned his pants and tried to drop them to the floor but they stuck to his body because they were soaked with sweat? Remember when you helped yank them off and then he shoved your face in his crotch? Remember when the rank smell of sweaty, unwashed balls and ass hit you like a freight train? Remember when Belding insisted that you lick his butthole? Remember how despite the awful smell, you wanted to please your older gay lover and began licked his balls and asshole? Remember how after a few minutes you passed out? Remember when Belding had anal sex with you while you were unconscious and then called an ambulance? Remember how you were rushed to the hospital and after some tests the doctors diagnosed you with kidney failure caused by licked Belding's super-salty balls and ass? Remember when you had to have a kidney removed and were hooked up to a dialysis machine until a replacement kidney could be found? Remember when Slater and Belding snuck into your hospital room and took turns shitting and pissing into the dialysis machine? Remmeber when their bodily waste products were transported into your blood stream by the dialysis machine and caused liver failure in your body? Remember how a replacement kidney and liver were eventually found after months in the hospital? Remember how you almost died several times? Remember how your life expectancy was reduced by 30 years as a result of the actions of Belding and Slater? Belding's sweaty balls and ass really got you good that time!



"Belding Makes Diamond Wear a Chastity Belt" recap
Posted: Sun Jan 15, 2012 9:03 am

Diamond, remember that time when Belding was really giving it to you right in the ass and you enjoy his anal rape technique so much that you blew your tiny load? Remember how you got a little drop of your Jew cum on the carpet of his principal's office at Bayside? Remember how mad this made Belding and he yelled that you had ruined the carpet? Remember when you replied that you hadn't ruined the carpet and reminded him that he had sprayed diarrhea onto your face hundreds of times and always got at least a little bit of diarrhea on the carpet each time? Remember when Belding replied, "Shut up, Diamond!!! How dare you display such insolence!!!!" Remember when Belding threw you face-first into a file cabinet and then started stomping on your back and kicking you in the head? Remember how he was completely naked during this violent beating and got so turned on while beating you up and he shot a huge load onto the carpet? Remember when he started mopping up his cum with your Jew-fro and then made you lick it up? Remember how in addition to the cum you also licked up dead bugs, spider eggs, dirt, and pubic hair because the floor was absolutely covered in Belding's gray pubes? Remember how the next day Belding went out and purchased a man's chastity belt for you to prevent you from ever again receiving an erection while he ass-rapes you? You really learned not to enjoy being raped that time!



"The Food Pyramid" episode recap
Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2012 7:54 am
Diamond, remember that time when Belding showed you a "food pyramid" diagram which indicated that fecal matter was an essential portion of a balanced diet? Remember how the diagram was in color and was glossy except for one small box that clearly had white-out covering text underneath and "fecal matter" was written over the text? Remember when Belding would call you to his office every day for lunch and tricked you into believing that he'd get in trouble with the school board if they found out that you weren't eating a healthy lunch and would point at the food pyramid diagram? Remember when he would drop his pants and skidmark-encrusted underwear and say "come get your meal, Diamond?" and insisted that you lick his asshole to get the nutrients which were essential to your growth? Remember how Belding wouldn't allow you to rinse your mouth out after licking his asshole for 15 minutes because he said you needed the fecal matter in your mouth to digest into your saliva and you would spend the rest of the day with shit breath? Remember how you did this every day for years and caught many cavities from the dangerous bacteria growing on Belding's asshole which damaged your gums and teeth? You sure were a fucking idiot that time!



"The Field Trip to the Art Museum" recap
Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 6:21 am

Diamond, do you remember the episode when you were a freshman and the school took a field trip to the visit the Los Angeles County Museum of Art? Remember how everyone piled into a school bus? Remember how you kept singing the "McDonald's Menu Song" during the bus ride, annoying the shit out of everyone on the bus? Remember when Mr. Belding, the chaperone for the trip, ordered everyone to throw things at you to shut your Jew-hole? Remember when everyone on the bus started throwing books at you? Remember when Ox hit you in your hook nose with a stapler that he happened to bring with him on the trip for some unexplained reason? Remember how you started crying? Remember how relieved you were when you arrived at the art museum moments later because you assumed that the workers at the art museum put a stop to the abuse? Remember how less relieved you were when you discovered that the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, like most art museums, is staffed by degenerate weirdos who radiate homosexuality? Remember when the museum workers started beating and sodomizing you with ancient Roman empire statues? Remember when a small Michelangelo statue got stuck in your ass and the museum patrons clapped as they saw you hopping around and grimacing in pain because they thought that you were a performance artist and that you were part of an exhibit? You sure had a memorable field trip that time!



"Diamond Learns About Beard Hygene" recap
Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2011 8:39 am

Diamond, remember that time when Belding took a shit in your Jew-fro and then wiped his ass clean with your neatly trimmed beard? Remember how you hadn't washed your face for a few days and still had dried fecal chips stuck in there from the last time Belding wiped his ass with your beard? Remember how the old dried fecal chips had sharp edges? Remember how the dried fecal chips irritated Belding's asshole as he wiped his ass with your beard? Remember how mad that made Belding? Remember when he threw you face-first into a urinal and tried to drown you in a puddle of urinal piss while he pulled down your pants and ass-raped you? Remember when Mr. Dewey walked into the bathroom and was upset that he couldn't use the urinal because your face was in it at the time? Remember when Mr. Dewey decided to use the urinal anyway and pissed on your Jew-fro while Belding continued to rape you? Remember when Mr. Dewey finished pissing and then gave Belding a hi-five and started cheering him on during the unprovoked homosexual attack? Remember when Belding blew a huge load into your ass and then pulled your face out of the urinal and slammed your head into the bathroom stall partition with a large enough force to snap the bolt securing the stall partition to the wall? Remember when Bayside send you a bill for $750 to replace and bolt and fix the damaged bathroom stall partition? You sure learned the importance of a clean beard that time!



"Diamond Learns the Importance of Discipline" recap
Posted: Tue Dec 27, 2011 9:02 am

Diamond, remember that time when you flew a plane with your son, Zoinks Diamond? Remember how you gave anal birth to young Zoinks in the late 90s after Belding ass-raped you for the 857th time? Remember how you and Zoinks were flying out to Anaheim to visit Disney World? Remember how Zoinks kept kicking the seat in front of him and the middle-aged man sitting in the seat being kicked got mad and yelled at you and told you to cut it out? Remember when you asked Zoinks to stop kicking the seat, but Zoinks continued to do so anyway? Remember when the man got out of his seat and then walked to your row of seats and started hitting you in the face with a book? Remember when passengers initially screamed and hit the button to request the stewardess? Remember when the stewardess got on the intercom and told everyone to relax because the person being beaten was former child star Dustin Diamond? Remember when everyone breathed a sign of relief and then started cheered on the man who was by now punching and kicking you in your hook nose? Remember when he threw you to the ground and your head landed in the aisle? Remember when the stewardess yelled "keep the aisle clear!" and then started running with the food cart, smashing into your face and cracking two of your teeth? Remember when the stewardess took off her high heels and started to stab you when the bottom of the heel and everyone cheered her on? Remember when the little kids on the seat next to your started pelting you with honey roasted peanuts and M&M's Remember when you got some of the honey roasted salt in your eyes and started crying like a bitch? Remember how everyone got mad and yelled at you to shut the fuck up??? Remember when several random dudes on the flight started assraping you while everyone else cheered them on? Remember how this attack lasted a good 45 minutes? Remember how at the end the pilot got on the intercom and told everyone that they needed to stick together and tell the authorities on the ground that Diamond was making terrorist threats and that he was beaten as a result? Remember when the plane landed and you said you were attacked? Remember when everyone else on the plane lied and said that you made the terrorist threats? Remember when you told your story to a judge and the judge got mad, called you a liar, and sentenced you to three years in prison? You sure learned the importance of disciplining children that time!



"Diamond Visits Santa" recap
Posted: Wed Dec 21, 2011 7:16 pm

Diamond, do you remember that episode where you visited a Los Angeles mall days before Christmas? Remember how even though you are Jewish you waited in the long line to sit on Santa's lap to ask for gifts? Remember how you were impatient while standing in line and kept saying "Zoinks!" and telling everyone else how important you were because you were acting on Saved By the Bell: The New Class? Remember how you were 19 years old at the time, whereas all of the other kids in line were younger than 8 years of age? Remember you finally got to the head of the line and then jumped onto Santa's lap and reached down and started fondling Santa's old wrinkled nut-bag? Remember when you asked Santa for a new tandem bike, a hot pink Member's Only jacket, and leather chaps? Remember how Santa saw your massive hook nose and asked if you were Jewish? Remember when you replied, "Zoinks! You got me, but I still do want those things!" Remember how your annoying behavior enraged Santa? Remember when Santa said that you were responsible for killing Jesus and that you had wasted everyone's time by sitting on his lap and that you were going to hell? Remember when Santa stood up, punched you in your hook nose and then started stomping on your chest and head with his black boots? Remember how the kids in line cheered him on because they thought that you sucked on Saved By The Bell? Remember when Santa dropped his pants and then shoved his cock up your ass and began raping you? Remember when a midget dressed up as an elf took off his tights, positioned his naked ass right next to your nose and ripped a wet fart? Remember when Santa blew his load in your ass and then kicked you in the head and dragged your lifeless body off to the side? Remember when he pulled up his pants and then the kids in line and the parents all started singing Christmas carols? Remember when Santa resumed letting kids sit on his lap and ask for gifts? That episode really showed the spirit of Christmas!



"Diamond learns about showering" recap
Posted: Aug 23 2011, 09:13 AM

Diamond, remember the summer of 1993 when Mr. Tuttle didn't shower for the entire summer even though there was a heat wave throughout July and August? Remember when you ran into Tuttle while getting your yearbook picture taken and could smell his balls and ass from where you were standing 20 feet away? Remember how much that turned you on? Remember when you immediately ran over to Tuttle, grabbed his hand, and led him into an empty classroom? Remember when you pulled down his polyester trousers and the rank smell of Tuttle's unwashed balls and ass hit you like a freight train? Remember when you licked his extra salty sweaty ballbag and went into cardiac arrest and almost died? Remember when Tuttle masturbated onto your near-comatose body as he waited for the ambulance to arrive to take you to the hospital? Remember when he kept farting in your face because he was under the mistaken impression that his farts were like smelling salts that would keep you awake? Remember when paramedics arrived at Bayside and Tuttle hid on top of a file cabinet while masturbating as the paramedics loaded you onto a wheeled bed and carted you away? Remember how they made comments about you smelling like baked ass and being a nasty faggot? You sure learned about the importance of showering in the that episode!



"Diamond Learns About Gold" recap
Posted: Jul 20 2011, 07:47 AM

Diamond, your money woes have been well-publicized. Remember all of those businesses that you started and then abandoned after a few days when you got sick of them, such as your talent agency and costume design business? Remember how are so lazy that rather than work for money, you are always looking for an easy way to make money?

Remember how the food court in the mall near you installed LCD televisions tuned to different cable channels? Remember how you were walking through the food court scrounging for uneaten food to eat in the garbage cans the other day when you looked up and saw a CNBC anchor on a TV discussing the rising price of gold, which recently hit $1600/oz? Remember how this gave you an idea for your next get-rich-quick scheme? Remember when you thought about the time that Belding and Salter said they were going to give you a golden shower for your next birthday? Remember when you hopped on your pink bike and rode as fast as you could to Belding's house and begged for the golden shower right then and there? Remember how you dreamed that you could sell the golden shower on eBay for hundreds of thousands of dollars and would be able to buy back your house from foreclosure and be able to afford to eat at Arby's every day?

Remember when you showed up at Belding's and opened the door and were shocked to see your TV mom, Mrs. Powers, getting DP'ed by Belding and Slater while your TV dad, Mr. Powers, sucked off your biological father, singer Neil Diamond? Remember when you looked over and saw Maxwell Nerdstrom doing Hound Dog right in the ass as Mr. Tuttle looked on and masturbated vigorously?

Remember when you didn't think anything of this strange scene and asked Belding for your golden shower? Remember when Belding asked you to follow him out back to his tool shed? Remember when Belding said "you want your golden shower? Well here it is, BITCH!" and then punched you in the face and kicked your kneecap, causing you to double over in pain? Remember when Belding dropped his sweaty trousers, causing the tool shed to instantly reek of the smell of ass? Remember when Belding started pissing on you and asked if you enjoyed the golden shower? Remember when Mrs. Powers entered the toolshed and you thought she was going to save you? Remember how surprised you were when she instead took off her underwear and started pissing on you? Remember when Tuttle, Nerdstrom, Hound Dog, Becky the Duck, Slater, Zack, the bum from the Christmas mall episode, Ox, and Zack's dad also started pissing on you? Remember when Zack's dad talked on his huge cellular phone and sold 30 computers while taking a leak on your jew-fro? Remember when Belding said, "have fun selling that golden shower on eBay, FAGGOT!!!"

You sure learned about gold that time!



"The Bayside 'Sniff-Off'" episode recap
Posted: Jul 11 2011, 05:20 AM

Diamond, remember when Salter and Belding asked you to participate in the annual Bayside jock strap "Sniff-Off"? Remember how delighted you were that they invited you to this event? Remember how you had never heard of the "Sniff-Off" before, but assumed that you hadn't heard about it because only the cool kids had been invited in years past? Remember how you were excited because you assumed that everyone thought that you were cool now? Remember when you showed up to the Bayside gym and Belding announced that all of the varsity athletes from the wrestling and football teams had been sweating in jock straps all day while eating free Taco Bell tacos and sitting in a classroom that was 90 degrees and had no air conditioning? Remember when the athletes stripped down in front of you at a school assembly and threw their sweaty jock straps in your face and you sniffed them? Remember how Slater and Belding stood behind you because you assumed that they were going to be sniffing the jock straps after you? Remember when you sniffed the sweaty jock straps while everyone in the auditorium cheered you on? Remember when Rod Belding, who was not a student athlete and didn't even teacher at Bayside stripped and threw his smelly jock strap right in your face? Remember how you sniffed 78 smelly jock straps that day and contracted herpes from all of the queers who had thrown their used jock straps in your face? Remember how perplexed you were when nobody sniffed any jock straps after you and Belding ordered everyone back to class? Remember when you said to Belding, "Did I win the Sniff-Off?" Remember when Belding replied, "Shut up, dickhead?" Remember when you discovered several months later that Maxwell Nerdstrom and the other weirdos from the AV club had videotaped your performance and offered it for sale as a documentary entitled "Obsessive Jewish Homosexuals Who Sniff Jock Straps"? Remember when they won an Oscar for "Best Documentary" and also won various monetary awards that they refused to share with you? You sure got screwed over that time!