Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Important Questions for Diamond - Part III

Here are my quick questions for Diamond that were posted over at this Dustin Diamond forum:

Jun 5 2011, 09:40 PM

Diamond, I went diarrhea this morning. Does this information turn you on? I accidentally flushed the toilet, as I was in a hurry to go somewhere. Although I know this disappoints you, I am on my way to a Mexican place for dinner, so I should be able to produce some nice diarrhea sprays later tonight. Let's hook up!

Jun 7 2011, 07:44 AM

Diamond, are you still dating Bob Golic? Does he still wear those skin-tight acid washed jeans even though he is fat tub of crap? After he anally rapes you, do you enjoy sniffing stale farts in his ass portion of those jeans? I bet he sweats all day in those jeans and produces a rank odor right in the seat of those pants that really turns you on, you demented faggot!

Jun 9 2011, 06:31 PM

Diamond, Sugar Ray Leonard recently admitted that one of his Olympic coaches sexually abused him prior to his boxing matches in the 1976 Olympics in Canada. Diamond, it is time for you to come clean and admit all of the things that happened to you on the rowdy Saved By The Bell set. The public wants to know about all of those rusty trombones Belding made you give him or all of the times you were anally raped in the alley behind the set.

Jun 12 2011, 06:12 AM

Diamond, remember that episode where Mylo gambled away his welfare check while playing dice with a bunch of other crackheads? Remember when Belding was talking to you in his office about the incident and you said that Mylo was a "dumb spade"? Remember how unbeknownst to you, Belding had the intercom on during this conversation? Remember how your comment started a minor race riot? Remember when 30 black kids and Mylo himself rushed into Belding's office and started beating you up and threw all of the dice that they each had in their pockets at you? Remember when you started crying and Mylo got mad and started hitting you in the head with a metal dustpan? Remember when one of the black kids opened a bag of the sawdust Mylo used to soak up barf and dumped in into your Jew-fro? Remember when another kid took Mylo's bottle of Colt 45 that was hidden in the janitor's closet and broke it over your head? Remember when the other kids started stabbing you with shards of glass and then used your blood to lube up their cocks? Remember when they all raped you and you contracted Ebola? You sure learned about race relations that time!

Jun 20 2011, 04:55 AM

Diamond, I saw that the struggling Arby's chain was sold last week. You certainly eat there quite a bit - you should give the chain's management some suggestions to turn things around. I bet you would tell them that their roast beef sandwiches would taste better if they soaked in piss, wouldn't you, faggot?

Jun 21 2011, 08:45 PM

Diamond, I think it has been pretty well-established that you have contracted many dangerous and potentially deadly STDs from sucking off your hero, father figure, and gay lover, Mr. Belding. Please confirm that in addition to the STDs, you have also suffered from lockjaw while sucking off his massive wang. Can you even chew your Taco Bell when suffering from lockjaw? Or does Belding chew it first and then spit it into your mouth? Better yet, does Belding chew your tacos and then shit in your mouth 35 minutes later as the greasy tacos run their course through his bloated body?

Jun 24 2011, 08:44 AM

Diamond, I just realized that the initials for Rick Bawls are "R.B." If you speak these initials, it almost sounds like you are saying "Arby," as in "Arby's," your favorite restaurant! Is this just some strange coincidence? Or are you in cahoots with that raging queer, Rick Bawls?

Jun 26 2011, 12:24 AM

Diamond, why were you Belding's minimum wage assistance for so many years? Remember how you were taking an elementary school education course at California University in the fall of 1994 during your sophomore year and had to work as Belding's assistant for a semester to complete the course? Remember how Belding was supposed to fill out an evaluation form at the end of the course so that you could pass the course? Remember when you walked into his off on at the end of the semester and told him you enjoyed working with him and asked him to sign the evaluation form for you? Remember when Belding took the form, dropped his 58-inch polyester trousers and took a dump on the evaluation form? Remember when you turned in the form and got an incomplete for the course at California University? Remember when you had to retake the course and Belding did the same thing at the end of the spring semester of 1995? Remember how you kept retaking the course until the spring semester of 2000 when Belding retired from Bayside? You sure were a dipshit that time! Why didn't you change college majors or attempt to become an assistant at Valley for a semester?

Jun 26 2011, 10:39 PM

Diamond, I got up early this morning to run a 5k race. After the race, I walking into a port-a-potty on the race site to take a piss and discover that some nasty, low-life, scum-ridden motherfucker and had taken a huge dump in a plastic urinal off on the side of the port-a-potty that feeds into the blue toilet water below. Of course, this shit log had probably been deposited hours beforehand and the port-a-potty smelled even worse than those things normally smell. Most people would be disgusted by this, but I bet you wouldn't be - I bet you've popped a tent and are rubbing one out right now, aren't you, you sick fuck!!!

Jun 30 2011, 06:20 AM

Diamond, I found this porta-potty attack video from the Vancouver riots:

Please confirm that you were the guy who fell from the top of the porta-potty when the other guy rammed into it. Is it true that the other guy discovered that you were sitting on top of the porta-potty pleasuring yourself while listening to him take a dump two minutes earlier? Is that why he rammed into the porta-potty, causing it to nearly tip over and resulting in that devastating fall where you also broke your neck when you hit the pavement? Did those policemen ass-rape you?

Jul 4 2011, 09:22 AM

Diamond, is it true that your beard smells like baked ass? Please confirm that on a typical day your beard contains 3 lbs of dried semen, diarrhea, and peanuts from shit sprays. Get back to me pronto, fucknut!

Jul 7 2011, 08:44 AM

Diamond, please confirm that when you were a student at Bayside you would often crawl down into the Port-a-potties at the football field and hide down there during football games. Is it true that you would pleasure yourself several times during each game when random people would enter the Port-a-potty and piss and take dumps on you? Is it true that you still sneak into the old Port-a-potties to this day even though you are now 34 years old and a fat tub of crap? You are one nasty fuck!

Jul 13 2011, 09:29 AM

Diamond, why are you so sexually attracted to Mr. Belding's saggy and dumpy fat ass? Do you enjoy grabbing it while making out, or do all of the rank odors emanating from his unwashed butthole turn really turn you on?

Jul 15 2011, 02:41 AM

Diamond, is it true that you sucked off Mylo the janitor so many times that you caught Sickle Cell Anemia from him?

Jul 21 2011, 07:33 AM

Diamond, have you taken refuge from the heat wave currently blanketing much of the country? The inside of your dumpster probably reaches a good 115 degrees as food rots around you and you essentially bake inside your scalding hot metal enclosure during the day. Do random dudes exiting the nearby Taco Bell piss into the dumpster while you are resting to cool you down? Do they also pelt you with garbage and dogshit they find lying on the ground? Please get back to me soon, buddy!

Jul 25 2011, 04:33 AM

Diamond, please confirm that you have been evicted from your house in Port Washington and have had to use this make-shift toilet at the abandoned rest stop off the highway:

Jul 27 2011, 09:43 AM

Diamond, is it true that when you were a student at Bayside, Mr. Belding would often sneak into your room through the window? Remember how Belding would make out with you and then have anal sex with you without giving you a reach-around or any sort of pleasurable touching? Remember how after sex Belding would put on his pink jock strap and would cuddle with you in bed? Remember how the jockstrap covered Belding's bulgy ball-sac, but obviously didn't cover his obese ass? Remember when Belding would often eat a Domino's sausage pizza prior to coming over and would have gas as he laid in bed with you? Remember when Belding would rip wet fart after wet fart as his body attempted to digest the greasy pizza? Remember all of the shit stains his wet farts would leave on your Winnie the Pooh bedsheets? Is it true that you still have those soiled sheets and jerked off while sniffing them about 30 minutes ago?

Jul 28 2011, 05:11 AM

Diamond, remember when you watched the Chuck Berry video where he rips an extremely loud fart in a hooker's face? Remember when Belding ripped ass in your face a few days later and you complained that his fart wasn't nearly as loud as Chuck Berry's? Remember how mad your rude and insensitive comment made Belding? Remember when Belding stomped on your face and raped you in front of Hound Dog and Kevin the Robot to teach you a lesson? Stupid fag!

Jul 29 2011, 09:20 AM

Diamond, remember that episode where Slater laid down face-first naked on your bed while you Belding raped you on the bed? Remember how Belding shoved your hook nose into Slater's smelly asshole as he raped you? Remember how you instantly lost your load as the combination of inhaling the odor of Slater's smelly asshole and the anal stretching from Belding's rape of you was such an enormous turn-on? You sure were a silly faggot that tine!

Jul 29 2011, 10:07 PM

Diamond, I see that a new Smurfs movie is coming out and it looks like a horrible movie. This got me thinking - remember when you stated in interviews that you put so much effort into creating the "unique" Screech character and made him your own? It seems to me that all you did was rip off the "Brainy" smurf character, with the exception, of course, that your character got dumber and dumber every year to the point at which you appeared to have a learning disability. Like you, the Brainy smurf character was never funny and served no purpose other than to annoy the other characters. Another similarity is that Brainy smurf was also gay and was often ass-raped by Papa Smurf and Gargamel - Smurfette would often watch these incidents while fingering herself.

You are a character thief!

Aug 2 2011, 06:43 PM

Diamond, why do you like it so much when the entire wrestling team goes to the bathroom on your face? Does it turn you on in some sick, demented way when you think about the fact and high school teenagers are pissing and shitting on your 34-year-old face?

Aug 3 2011, 01:40 AM

Diamond, when is your new porno coming out? I suggest that you craft a storyline based on the "Miss Bayside" episode. You could call your next porno "Miss Bayside" and the plot could be centered around you dressing up as a cheerleader and being viciously ass-raped by the entire football team, Mr. Belding, Rod Belding, Zack's dad, Hound Dog, and Maxwell Nerdstrom in that order.

Aug 4 2011, 05:03 AM

Diamond, why do you like wearing Zubaz-brand clothing that is soaked with Hound Dog's piss?

Aug 22 2011, 08:51 AM

Diamond, remember that time when Kevin the Robot had a sleepover and invited the robot from Rocky IV over to your house? Remember when the Rocky IV robot and Kevin the Robot spit-roasted you and pumped you full of their dirty oil? You sure were a bitch that time!

Aug 30 2011, 05:51 AM

Diamond, please confirm that your ass is permanently damaged from all of the daily rapes that occurred when you were a student at Bayside. Does it bother you when Belding tears off your adult diapers to rape your already permanently torn asshole? Or do that turn you on in some sick, perverted way?

Aug 30 2011, 06:04 PM

Diamond, remember that time when Belding ripped a fart right in your face and you said, "Ewww" and made gagging noises? Remember how your melodramatic behavior upset Belding? Remember when Belding said, "Dammit Diamond! My farts are my gift to you - how dare you be rude to me after I gave you this valuable gift, you cock-sucking Jew-bastard faggot!!!" Remember when Belding raped you, infecting you with a strain of Super-AIDS in the process? You sure learned proper gift receiving etiquette that time!

Aug 30 2011, 11:44 PM

Diamond, remember that time when Belding accidentally stepped in dogshit? Remember how mad that made Belding? Remember when he used your hook nose and Brillo-like Jew-fro to wipe the dogshit off the heel of his shoes? Remember how Belding scraped a large chunk of dogshit as a well as dead grass, pebbles, and broken glass that was stuck to the dogshit off on your hook nose and you inhaled it?

Oct 26 2011, 12:00 PM

Diamond, I demand that you bring back dustindiamond.com or at least create an electronic bulletin board to allow your queer fans to schedule unprotected butt-sex with you. I want to fire my seed up your brownpipe after taking a dump in your mouth. At which gas station are you currently pumping gas? I see you seen - I am off to the Port Washington Taco Bell.

Dec 16 2011, 01:20 PM

Diamond, is it cool with you if I drop my pants and piss on your Beef'n Cheddar from Arby's while you are eating it? Does the bun taste better when it is soaked with piss? Does your fake wife finger herself when a random stranger comes up and disrespects you?

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