Important Questions for Diamond - Part V

Here are some of my important questions for Diamond that have been posted over at the new Dustin Diamond Love forum:

Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:16 am

rocco wrote:

Kurt_Steinberg wrote:Diamond, remember how you saved a grand total of $4000 during the ten years while you were Mr. Belding's assistant? Remember when saw an ad for a new Zubaz automobile? Remember how the Zubaz Squirrel had a 2 cylinder engine and a top speed of 38 MPH? Remember when you took the bus to the Zubaz dealer and paid your entire life savings for a pink Zubaz Squirrel? Remember how the metal forming the frame of the car was about as thick as tin foil? Remember how the door was so flimsy that merely touching it would leave permanent indentations on the door? Remember how the windows were formed out of Cling-wrap? Remember when you got into the car and drove off the lot home? Remember how mad all of the other drivers were getting at you because you were driving 35 MPH in a 45 MPH zone? Remember when it started raining on the way home and your car started rusting instantly? Remember when the entire engine block fell through the rusted-out car frame 10 minutes later? Remember how your your entire car started disintegrating on the road in the rain? You sure were a dipshit that time for wasting your entire life savings on a Zubaz car! What a moron!




Diamond really was a jackass that time. Too bad for him the 3 minute or 36 foot warranty had already expired when the car disintegrated!


ROCCO



Yes, he appeared to be retarded that time! Seriously, what kind of a moron would pay $4000 for a car that has windows made out of Cling-wrap?



Tue Feb 21, 2012 3:39 am

Diamond, remember how you saved a grand total of $4000 during the ten years while you were Mr. Belding's assistant? Remember when saw an ad for a new Zubaz automobile? Remember how the Zubaz Squirrel had a 2 cylinder engine and a top speed of 38 MPH? Remember when you took the bus to the Zubaz dealer and paid your entire life savings for a pink Zubaz Squirrel? Remember how the metal forming the frame of the car was about as thick as tin foil? Remember how the door was so flimsy that merely touching it would leave permanent indentations on the door? Remember how the windows were formed out of Cling-wrap? Remember when you got into the car and drove off the lot home? Remember how mad all of the other drivers were getting at you because you were driving 35 MPH in a 45 MPH zone? Remember when it started raining on the way home and your car started rusting instantly? Remember when the entire engine block fell through the rusted-out car frame 10 minutes later? Remember how your your entire car started disintegrating on the road in the rain? You sure were a dipshit that time for wasting your entire life savings on a Zubaz car! What a moron!



Sun Feb 19, 2012 9:53 am

Diamond, when you were a student at California University, how many times did you wake up in the middle of the night because someone was pissing on your head? Remember how Slater and Zack were always having orgies with the campus's raging sluts? Remember how there was no bathroom for women on the floor, so the women decided to use your face as a toilet instead of walking up to the women's bathroom on the next floor?



Fri Feb 17, 2012 3:30 am

Diamond, please confirm that you murdered Hall of Fame former MLB catcher Gary Carter because you were jealous of his curly 'fro. You're gonna pay for this heinous act!!!



Tue Feb 14, 2012 6:19 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, remember that time you got fed up with Mr. B tearing your Zubaz while ripping them off your body during his violent rapes? Is it true you had Mrs. Powers sew a flap in the ass of your Zubaz so Mr. B could still ass rape you, but wouldnt have to rip them in the process? Is it true the next day Mr. B cornered you after lunch and went to rip off your Zubaz when you said "hold on chief!" Is it true that you then released the Velcro flap which exposed your pasty ass? Is it true you thought the Big Bopper would appreciate this gesture? Is it true you were wrong and the Big Bopper was infuriated at your butt flap? Is it true he tore your Zubaz off and the called out to AC Slater? Is it true while Mr. B pounded away at your asshole slater ripped your Zubaz to pieces as if he were Hulk Hogan ripping off his tshirt? Is it true since you hadn't worn your Zubaz underpants you were forced to put back on your now shredded and tattered Zubaz which didn't really cover anything? Is it true the kids in Mr. Tuttle's class pointed and laughed at you because they could see your tiny cock and your jizz covered ass? Is it true when you got home Mrs. Powers was mad because once again your Zubaz had been ripped up? Is it true she belched a cum belch into your face and called you a "hook nosed loser"? That sure wasn't your day Dman!

ROCCO



Diamond sure was a fool to think that Belding would want to use the butt flap!

Why did Diamond purchase all of those Zubaz brand items? As I recall, the Zubaz underwear were so flimsy that a medium-sized fart would be sufficient to rip a hole in them!



Mon Feb 13, 2012 4:54 am

Diamond, which of the following is the most difficult to remove from your Jew-fro after drying - (a) semen; (b) fecal juice; (c) snot/boogers; or (d) barf? Please get back to me soon, buddy, as I am racking my brain thinking about this conundrum!



Sat Feb 11, 2012 4:34 am

Diamond, remember when you travelled to Canada a few years ago to get your teeth fixed and your dental work is featured on this website: http://www.torontosmilemakeovers.com/ ? Is it true that you were born with normal teeth, but after years of drinking piss, the uric acid in the piss had horrible damaged your teeth, requiring extensive dental work? Is it also true that you were under general anesthetic and were anally raped while you were under?



Thu Feb 09, 2012 12:08 pm

Diamond, remember that time when you looked at your baby-sized cock while pissing at a urinal and started crying because of its small size? You sure realized that your life sucked for you that time!



Wed Feb 08, 2012 8:12 am

Diamond, remember that time when Lisa Turtle rejected you for the 500th time and then you walked home after school and caught her dyking out with your TV mom, Mrs. Powers? Remember when you cried as you watched Mrs. Powers do Lisa in the ass with a strap-on while Lisa sucked off Mr. Powers and Mr. Tuttle sat on the dresser watching and masturbating? Remember how a few minutes later you watched in horror as Lisa sucked off Hound Dog? Was it a major blow to your ego when you discovered that Lisa was a total slut who would fuck everything that moves except for you? Even Hound Dog was sexier to Lisa than you!



Tue Feb 07, 2012 8:08 am

Diamond, do you remember the episode where you were watching a re-run of 21 Jump Street on a small Sony Watchman miniature television set with a 2-inch screen during lunch period back in 1991 when you were a student at Bayside? Remember when you started to get turned on while watching Johnny Depp and Richard Greico solving crimes while dressed up as undercover officers? Remember when you went into the bathroom sit on the toilet while rubbing a couple out? Remember when Slater heard you smacking around your ding-dong in the stall and got mad? Remember when Slater kicked open the door and informed you that you were not allowed to enjoy any type of sexual pleasure? Remember when he kicked you in the balls and then pissed onto your Jew-fro? Remember when several other dudes in the bathroom also started pissing on you? Remember when the kid taking a dump in the next stall started firing shit-covered pieces of toilet paper over the stall wall onto you that he had just used to wipe his ass? Remember when you ran out to complain to Belding and he confiscated your Watchman and called you a "stupid Jew faggot" and made you suck his cock right in front of Becky the Duck, Belding's kinky girlfriend at the time?




Mon Feb 06, 2012 11:47 am

Hey Diamond, remember that time during Mr. Tuttle's class when you burped and then the entire room reeked of the smell of cock as a result of your penis breath?



Mon Feb 06, 2012 4:11 am

Diamond, remember how you took Mr. Dewey's health class during your sophomore year at Bayside? Remember how you had to pull down your pants so that he could measure your cock for the final exam? Remember how you failed the final exam because your cock was too small? Remember how you had to take summer school in order to receive a passing grade? Remember how the only summer school class offered was "Prison Rape 101" taught by Mr. Dewey and Principal Belding? Remember how they would ass-rape you several times every day, pulling queer trains and even invited other faculty staff and Zack's dad to join in on the action? Remember when you endured 8 weeks of anal rape and rectal bleeding until the summer session ended? Remember when you asked Mr. Dewey what grade you would be receiving on the last day of class? Remember when Mr. Dewey started laughing and said, "Smile, you are on candid camera!" and pointed to a hidden camera in the back of the room? Remember when host Ed McMahon walked into the classroom and explained that you had been subjected to a 2-month long practical joke? Remember how hard everyone laughed as you cried and your horribly torn rectum bled through your Zubaz? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!



Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:49 am

Diamond, do you remember the time when Belding asked you to pick up a family sized bag of Doritos for his afternoon snack? Remember when you carelessly bought a bag of low-fat Doritos? Remember how sensitive Belding was about his weight and thought that you were giving him a subtle hint that he was too fat? Remember how upset Belding was with you for buying the wrong chips? Remember when Belding sat on the bag, crushing all of the chips and then dumped the chip crumbs into your poofy Jew-fro? Remember when he then yanked off your Zubaz and raped you? Remember when he blew his load up your ass and then dumped you outside the school on the ball field in an unconscious state? Remember when a flock of hungry birds smelled the Dorito crumbs in your Jew-fro and flew down and started attacking you while eating the crumbs? Remember when an endangered California Condor was one of the birds? Remember when Maxwell Nerdstrom saw the bird attack and took a photo which was later published in the Bayside Bugle newspaper? Remember how Jessie Spano was a member of PETA at the time? Remember how Jessie showed the picture of the bird attack to her weirdo PETA friends and they burned down your house to teach you a lesson about messing with birds? Doritos got you good that time!



Fri Feb 03, 2012 1:44 pm

Diamond, do you like it when you are standing at a urinal pissing out of your tiny cock and someone comes up behind you and pisses all over you as you stand at the urinal? Do you wear you piss-soaked Zubaz for the next three hours until the urine dries, or do you put on a fresh clean pair of Zubaz?



Tue Jan 31, 2012 7:18 pm

Diamond, remember that time when you went into the Teacher's lounge and saw a new beanbag chair on the floor? Remember when you quickly plopped down on it? Remember when you rubbed your Jew-fro against it and suddenly realized that that the texture of the beanbag chair was unusual? Remember when you also discovered that the beanbag chair smelled like ass? Remember when you noticed that the beanbag chair was covered in lice? Remember when you saw what looked like gray material covered all over the beanbag chair? Remember when you went in for a closer look and saw that the gray material was coarse? Remember when you noticed white stains on some of the gray material? Remember when you licked the white stains and immediately realized that the white stains tasted like AC Slater's cum? Remember when you touched the gray material and realized that it bore a strong resemblance to pubic hair? Remember when you looked over and realized that the "beanbag chair" was in reality Mr. Belding's scrotum which he had let out of his trousers to get some fresh air? Remember when Belding yelled at you for rubbing against his scrotum against his wishes? Remember when Belding gave you a typical pummeling and then ass-raped you for the 735th time? You sure learned to look before sitting down that time!



Thu Jan 26, 2012 11:09 am

Diamond, I loved you in Pulp Fiction, where you played "the Gimp." Please confirm that you have played a gimp in hundreds of gay pornos.



Thu Jan 26, 2012 9:17 am

Diamond, have your encounters with people changed much over the years? I suppose that during the height of SBTB's fame, people would walk past you and think to themselves, "Hey, that's that huge dork from Saved By The Bell. What an ugly homo!" However, as you age fewer and fewer young people know who you are. I suspect that a large % of the people who walk past you now think to themselves, "What a creepy weirdo. I bet that homo sucks a lot of cock!"

Please discuss how the transition from being known as the "dorky Screech" to a "creepy weirdo" has affected your life.



Tue Jan 24, 2012 7:59 am

Diamond, do you remember when you visited a Bayside school board meeting and motioned that the team's mascot be changed from the Bayside Tigers to the Bayside Jock Straps? Remember when Mr. Tuttle stood up and made a motion that you be ass-raped for presenting such a stupid motion and being such a ugly faggot? Remember when you got raped by 50 dudes at the meeting and had several microphones shoved up your brownpipe? Remember when semen deposited in your asshole dripped into the microphones causing a short-circuit? Remember when you were electrocuted by the microphones and nearly died? Remember how hard everyone laughed? Remember how you narrowly averted death when Belding tripped on the microphone cords while waddling while naked over to you to masturbate? Remember when the microphone cords ripped out of the electric socket when he tripped? You sure learned to shut your trap that time!



Tue Jan 24, 2012 6:09 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, remember the episode where the Big Bopper got you to go scuba diving? Remember when once you were under water he took your air hose and stuck it in his asshole then began ripping nasty farts? Remember how you breathed Mr. Beldings farts instead of oxygen for nearly an hour? Remember how that caused you to suffer massive brain damage? Belding sure got you good that time Dman!


ROCCO



It would have been funny if Diamond's lungs had expanded like a blowfish as they filled up with Belding's farts!




Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:48 pm

Diamond, remember that episode where you walked into your parents' bedroom and caught your TV dad, Mr. Powers, having a hot three-way with Becky the Duck and Hound Dog? Remember how Mr. Powers was eating out Becky the Duck's cooch while Hound Dog was doing him right in the ass? Remember when you looked off to the side and saw your TV mom, Mrs. Powers, fingering herself while watching the orgy? Remember how angry Becky the Duck, Hound Dog, and Mr. Powers were at you for interrupting their deviant sexual practices? Remember when they all attacked you and started biting you? Remember when Becky flew up and bit your huge hook nose with her beak and then flew up to the ceiling and dropped duck turds into your Jew-fro? Remember when Hound Dog bit you in your groin and bit off your baby-sized cock? Remember when your dad gave you a vampire-like bite in the neck? Remember when caught tetanus from the Hound Dog and Becky the Duck bites and caught rabies from your dad's bite? Remember how your dad was apparently a Trojan horse carrier of rabies for some unexplained reason? What was that all about?



Sat Jan 21, 2012 3:14 am

Diamond, are you busy planning a romantic Valentine's Day date with your gay lover, Mr. Belding? Remember when he handed you a candy box last year that you thought was filled with chocolate turtles, but when you opened the box you discovered he had eaten all of the chocolate candies and then shit in the box? Remember how that was the most thoughtful gift you have ever received?



Thu Jan 19, 2012 11:21 am

rocco wrote:Dman, remember that time you put your precious baby pictures and mementos in a storage unit? Remember when instead of paying the rent on the storage unit you bought some Arby's? Remember how your crap went up for sale because of this? Remember how you thought you could go to the auction and get your shit back for a dollar or two? Remember when Dave Hester from the show "Storage Wars" was there? Remember how annoying you were when your unit came up? Remember how to place a bid you screamed "Zoinks"? Remember how this annoyed Dave Hester and he began to bid with his trademark "Yup"? Remember how you only had eight dollars and began to cry after your "Zoinks" at eight bucks was quickly met with a "Yup" taking the bid to nine dollars and far out of your financial range? Remember how Dave won the auction and took a box of your personal photos, then set the rest of your shit on fire? Remember how you began to cry and the auctioneer came over and jabbered some auction speak in your ear while he reached his hand down your pants and crushed your tiny dick? Remember how Dave listed the box of your personal pictures and memories on eBay and I bought them for $115? Remember how you followed the eBay auction but $115 was like a million dollars to you? Remember how you whined to the arbynator and she comforted you by ripping a hideous fart on your hook nose? Remember how I posted your personal pics for the world to enjoy then wiped my ass with your childhood memories? That sure was funny Dman!


ROCCO



I think I saw that episode! Wasn't that the episode where Barry, the 60+-year old retiree showed up with a midget wearing stilts to scope out the storage lockers up for auction? As I recall, the midget kept smacking Diamond in the head with a stilt while Barry masturbated vigorously!



Wed Jan 18, 2012 9:02 am

Diamond, one of my friends has convinced me to take a chance on heterosexuality. So I have a date with a girl this coming weekend, although I bet it will be a complete waste of time because I heard that girls don't have cocks like we do. By the way, this girl is 10 times better looking than any of the fat heinous beasts you have been known to pretend to date.