Here are more nice comments from the Jason Heyward Sucks forum:
| Heyward is the best player on the Cubs. His grape soda consumption was out of control as was his deviant queer behavior. I have previously referenced the glory hold the Cubs have in their home dugout. Jason manned this almost non stop last season. He would occasionally stick his anus to the hole and get a nice ass slamming in between innings. I once sat there and saw he pressed his nose to the gloryhole and I ripped a nice fart on him. I could then hear him moaning with pleasure. Another time I stuck my dick through the gloryhole and he belched on it causing my to instantly ejaculate. Jason is a true hero. |
| HES making 25 a year?! Jeez, half of that could improve the youth set up |
| Guaranteed contracts are the worst part of baseball, and make me honestly not want to watch the sport sometimes. They really need to go to the NFL model of up front guaranteed bonus and non-guaranteed yearly salary. I'm sorry but I just cannot stand the fact that someone can make $25 million a year for 8 years and suck ass the whole time. It is fundamentally un-American. Anyone who got a $180 million windfall is going to take their foot off the gas pedal, consciously or subconsciously. |
| Woah I stand corrected. That is irrefutable proof. I am not a fruity guy, but that pic just got me wild. Within hours I was outside the nearest arby’s Frantically asking if screech was around for some hot dong action! |
| Rook, I’m glad that another person with a brain is finally posting here! Heyward obviously focused too much on his deviant homosexual behaviors and drank too much grape soda last season. Heyward plays good defense, but he’s awful at the plate and is the most overpaid player in the game |
| Gayson Gayward. The Gay Hey kid. It is impossible to talk about this faggot nigger without mentioning how gay he is. Yes he’s good at drinking grape soda and all the gay weird behaviors. But let’s not forget the incredible year he just had with 11 homers and 15 doubles. Oh and the defense. |
| Rook that is a hot photo! Further undeniable proof of Jason’s greatness. Also, further proof of Maddon’s total mismanagement of this superstar. Instead of allowing the queer antics that won the World Series Maddon tried to cut them back. I heard that Jason wanted to have a pre-game motivational shower before the final game. He was to 69 with both Kris Bryant and Anthony Rizzo before crawling around belching into the asshole of each of his teammates. This highly erotic scene would have propelled them to victory. Instead Maddon said no to this and the end result was a loss. Some team who appreciates Jason’s motivational homoerotic actions needs to steal him from the Cubs! |
| Check out the pics section for a photo of Heyward belching in Ben Zobrist's anus after drinking grape soda! https://image.ibb.co/ib9o5m/Belch.png |
| Wow, do you believe all this stuff, or are you just a weird perve?
If this actually happened, please post it in the pics section. I give you 24 hours. If not, go away. |
| How dare you attack Jason Heyward’s queer fanbase! Everyone knows that Heyward single-handedly won the 2016 World Series for the Cubs when he gave them a motivational speech during a rain delay! What you might not know is that Heyward drank a 2-liter of grape soda during the rain delay and started to feel sick during his speech, causing him to double over in pain. As he bent down, his face was mere inches from Ben Zobrist’s ass. Heyward then unleashed an epic and insanely loud belch right next to Zobrist’s ass and then Heyward started to feel better. As you may recall, Zobrist hit a go-ahead double in the 10th inning to win the game for the Cubs! It seems pretty clear that Heyward ‘s anal belch motivated Zobrist to get that crucial double! |
| This is a baseball forum, not a forum for weirdos to talk about belching in other peoples asses
get a life dude - this is all fantasy |
| Dusty Baker gets canned. Giving an IBB to Heyward sealed his fate. He probably should have been fired on the spot after that move |
| I've never seen a mlb player look so awkward at the plate. The worst professional sports contract in history. Also, spit the bubble gum out. He's a pathetic loser. I may not watch the Cubs again until 2025. |
| What are the,chances Jason Hayward will opt out of his contract after the 2018 season? Oh, please there are many teams out there in need of his motivational speaking talents... |
| Finishes the season on the bench, in a loss, with no pinch hitting appearance. Could there be any greater humiliation for a ball player who is stealing $28,166,166.00 dollars from the Cubs this season? Or, to put it another way, could there be any greater embarrassment for a team who THOUGHT they were stealing this "future Hall of Famer" away from the Cardinals for the pittance of $184,000,000.00 million for 8 years? Heck, we Cardinal fans saw enough of his goofy batting stance and swing and broken bat dribblers in his first few games in 2015 to know he wasn't a major league hitter!! And we were hoping and praying the Cards would let some sucker team, preferably the uppity Cubs, sign him to a financially crippling long term contract. Well, God answered our prayers and we couldn't be happier for the clowns in Chicago. They just proved that last years WS victory WAS just a fluky stroke of luck brought about by a timely rain delay after blowing a huge lead. Enjoy the next 6 years of misery with this "stolen" Hall of Famer, Cubbies!! |
| 2 for 17 with 2 singles and a .403 ops for the playoffs. Not bad. He should be the 3 hitter. |
| Who is the homophobe that attained Jason’s homosexuality! He is a proud gay man who likes belching into the assholes of his teammates. Had Coach Maddon not hurt his feelings he would have motivated the team to the World Series with some potent farts and massive belches. I have solid info that Rookie 05:17:25 is correct that Theo and Maddon refuses Jason’s request to provide him an extra large cooler of Welch’s grape soda. Jason was prepared to do the grunt work of crawling around on the dugout floor like a dog, belching into each players anus in order to motivate them to greatness and a guaranteed World Series appearance. Instead his simple request was denied. We all know how it ended. |
| Finishes first two seasons of his $180 million contract on the bench in the playoffs. |
| The Cubs General Manager, Theo Epstein, really blew it this season! I heard that he refused to allow Jason Heyward to keep a Gatorade cooler full of grape soda in the Cubs dugout. The Cubs really needed some motivational belches from Heyward but he couldn’t produce them because he was unable to belch in his teammates’ anuses when the Cubs really needed a rally! |
| The MLB single season record for extra base hits is 119. At his current pace Heyward should hit his 119th extra base hit in year 4 with the Cubs. 4 years! |
| So this bum got credit last year for “motivational speaking” to the team. What happened this year? Did they tell him to piss off? Or did he sabotage his team and give a demotivational speak out of anger for his benching?? |
| A $28,166,166.00 dollar slugger sitting on the bench, and a couple of scrubs making about $5 million between them are considered better pinch hitting choices. Yes, the joke DOES keep writing itself! |
| Madman Maddon will never be forgiven by Cub fans for benching their record setting $184 million super stud...uh.....dud, just when he was starting to heat up at the plate with a couple of massive 250-300 feet pop flies and clutch broken bat dribblers. J-Hey was the only player capable of carrying this team into the World Series with his thunderous bat. Madman should be fired immediately after this humiliating defeat for dooming the team to defeat by this incomprehensible benching!! |
| About time for a rain delay and a team speech from the greatest motivational speaker of all time, guess who! |
| ter years of careful objective consideration, I have become aware that racism is a social construct, which has no reality. As in the movie "A Conversation About Race", most people don't really know what racism is. That's because it is truly a made-up concept without any objective reality.
We say "racism" when we see many white males as physicists or mathematicians, but hardly any blacks. However we do not say "racism" when we see that 80% of the players in the NBA are black, even though black males are only 6% of the population. We should just be honest and say some races are better at some things than others. This is reality backed up by countless studies, not "racism". |
| https://www.google.com/amp/www.newsweek.com/there-no-such-thing-race-283123%3famp=1 |
| There’s no such thing as race or racism. Learn some science moron. |
| Hey guys, this racist, gay belching garbage ain't in the least bit funny and never has been. Leave this forum to us real comics who are posting hilarious comments, mostly clean, to poke fun at this pathetic record setting futility player. Go find a forum where people might think all of your racist, gay trash talk is funny. Because none of us do! |
| Tonight Jason motivated the team once again to a victory. He doesn’t even need to play to be a key to a win. I heard he drank two two liters of grape soda, then choked down on a giant bucket of KFC, followed by a huge meal from Popeyes. This gave him some horrid gas, that he blasted in his teammates faces. He then had the team line up bare assed, and as each walked past him he belched into their anus. Once in the dugout Jason settled in and watched a few episodes of “Sanford and Son” as well as one episode of “The Jefferson’s” before loudly ripping ass so powerfully the entire bench shook! Tell me that isn’t a true hero! He won that game single handedly! |
| Why would anybody in that dugout listen to a word this scrub has to say? |
| I read the game wrap on the MLB app. The article actually mentions that Heyward and other Cubs veterans had a pre-game talk with the team to motivate them! That article again mentions Heyward’s World Series speech where despite his crappy play on the field, he somehow managed to motivate the team to victory!
.
Nobody knows for sure what Heyward said before Wednesday’s game, but I’m guessing he drank a large 2-liter of grape Crush and ate a large bucket of KFC before ripping ass in his teammates’ faces and belching in their anuses in the showers to motivate them to victory! |
| Why on earth would Maddon pinch hit J-Hey in eighth? with LaStella sitting on the bench, a great clutch hitter and pinch hitting specialist. How many bats did he break this year, he can not even hit the ball on the barrel of the bat but on the handle!He NEVER, EVER, gets a true clutch hit in important games.For the combined post season he is hitting a whopping .118! Kelly Crull weighs more than that!
Here is his post season so far -
.118 .286 .118 .403
Why don't Theo and Jed say something to Joe, are they cowards? |
| Am I the only one who noticed how masterfully J-Hey crushed that broken bat dribbler intentionally to the only infielder who was not playing his normal position? You see, in his brilliant mind, he knew all he could do was hit an infield dribbler. So, wanting to avoid the embarrassment of an IEDP, he dribbled the ball directly to the only guy on the field who might flub the double play. And sure enough it worked. This animal just continues to find ways to use his brilliant brain to set new records in futility! |
| Most people don’t know about this. I was at the game tonight and sat behind the Cubs dugout. If you’re in the know you can find a small hatch that will open, then a hole that leads into the Cubs dugout. This is a gloryhole. Tonight Jason was working the gloryhole. He gave me a fine blow-job, then let loose a montster belch on my cock that made me instantly blow my load! I bet Jason was motivating his team to victory in similar fashion. What a hero! |
| What a relief! We get at least 1 more game to see JHey set more playoff records. Can't wait! |
| Of course our lucky hero is spared the embarrassment of an inning ending double play by an out of position shortstop. |
| Just another grinding at bat to keep the line moving. |
| Heyward's broken bat count surpasses his hit count. The records keep coming. |
| The joke keeps writing itself. |
| Yes! Heyward summons all his powers when the Cubs need it most. Expect anything different?!?!? |
| Cubs only need 1 base runner in the 8th to bring the greatest futility hitter in baseball to the plate to improve his record setting playoff performance. Can't wait to see the 2 minute standing ovation he receives from the delirious crowd! |
| Finally, Madman puts our record setting hero in the game in a desperate attempt to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. |
| Slow Joe, benching the all time great, JHey. A sane minded manager might have done this last year...thank god for Joe Madman. He gave us the opportunity to see Heyward do the impossible. I doubt we'll ever see another manager give a player the chance to best Heywards record setting performances. |
| Maddon better start thinking of getting Heyward back out there before the team snatches a victory out of the jaws of defeat. |
| The Dodgers pitchers are in constant stress thinking that they can face Heyward at any moment. |
| The nee strstegy is keep Gayson on the bench, so he can come to the rescue at some crucial moment late in the game. Brilliant stuff!! |
| With Heyward out, I'm watching season two of GoT. Stupid move, Joe. It's once in a lifetime stuff to see the greatest futility player of all time rewrite the history books of baseball. |
| With Heyward out, I'm watching season two of GoT. Stupid move, Joe. It's once in a lifetime stuff to see the greatest futility player of all rewrite the history books of baseball. |
| Rumors swirling around Wrigley that J-Hey may end up pitching tonight. I guess Joe heard us |
| The rest of us just want him in the lineup because this may be our last chance this season to make fun of his utter futility at the plate. |
| AP NEWS BULLETIN: "Riots have broken out around Wrigley Field as fans streaming to the game began to hear that their $184 million dollar & record setting Super Star, Jason Heyward, will be benched for this must win or go home game. It is unfathomable to them how Joe Maddon could bench him in this most important game of the season. And after all he has done to literally put this team on his broad shoulders and carry them this far!! Time after time he has hit clutch dribblers to first or second base, hit crucial pop flies traveling up to 300 feet, instilled fear into stupid pitchers who think he is Babe Ruth and give him critical, meaningless walks (sometimes 4 straight balls), gives his body up for some monster HBPs, etc, etc!!!!!!!! Add his scorching .125% batting, .125% slugging, and .425% OPS for this postseason and you have to ask, what is Joe thinking??? The fans at Wrigley sure want to know as they tear the place apart." |
| I call on all Cub fans to boycott this team until Jason is guaranteed a featured role in the lineup. I will not be watching or attending any games in the meantime and you should do the same. J-Hey should be batting third or fourth and he should be our starting pitcher tonight. His incredible arm prevented a sacrifice fly last night and it will also keep the Dodgers’ bats in check. We must take a stand now. Maddon needs to be fired for underutilizing this demigod. His motivational speeches alone warrant a prominent slot in the bullpen |
| With JHey out of the lineup, Jon Jay in RF will misplay a 2 out bases loaded fly ball with a 2-0 lead. 3 runs score, Cubs eliminated by score of 3-2. After the game, a mob of Cub fans will tar and feather Joe Maddon in the parking lot for benching their record setting hero and costing their Cubs the chance of going to the World Series. |
| I have a ticket to the game tonight, but I refuse to go if J-Hey is not in the lineup. Hopefully Maddon will finally realize who butters his bread and bat J-Man in the three spot. HEYWARD IS A BEAUTIFUL GOD AND IF THAT IDIOT JOE DOESN’T REALIZE IT SOON THIS TEAM IS DONE |
| Heyward has been struggling ever since the team ran out of his favorite grape soda. He has not been able to motivate himself or her teammates with any of his patented monster belches. This could cost the team big time! |
| I turned the game off when Madden took out our record setting hero. Watching this series is a waste of time. Anyway, back to Season One of GoT. |
| All hope is gone now that JHey has been removed from the game. TBS shows fans leaving the stadium in droves, cursing Joe Maddon for removing their favorite Cub slugger just as he was heating up with a crucial pop fly and a clutch walk to bring up the pitcher. No chance for a rally now. |
| These Cubs are where they are because Baker and the Wash Nats somehow managed to outclass Maddon and the Cubs in the suck department. Neither of those looked or played like an elite ball club. At best, they were playing for the right to be shit stomped by the Dodgers. |
| Do these Cubs look like a team playing to go to the World Series, or are they just trying to imitate their Tennessee Smokies AA team to make them feel better about themselves? |
| And then the "smartest manager in baseball" replaces the Cubs worst hitter with their next worse hitter, who then does a JHey imitation with a popup. This is so rich! |
| With the Cubs mighty, red hot slugging 8th place hitter coming to bat, and a 3 run lead, the Dodgers take out their excellent starting pitcher for a lefthanded bullpen slug, trying to contain this absolute monster who just will not be denied his pop flies or walks. |
| Joe Maddon sucks for starting this piece of shit. I'm beginnng to think Maddon is slow learner who takes the short bus to work. |
| To start Heyward, Almora, Happ, or Jay? Heyward is the one with the epic record setting lack of production, obviously you go with the record setter. Joe Maddon made the correct call. #ThankYouJoe |
| I don't blame Heyward, I blame the most overrated manager in baseball. Meanwhile, Happ, who had the better year, sits on the bench collecting dust. Joe is brilliant. |
| We can't blame Heyward, he has seen only one pitch strike tonight, and make it travel almost 320ft. |
| It’s a done deal heyward is winning this thing with a late monster shot. |
| Heyward saves another Dodger run by jogging 10 feet to catch another routine fly ball. This is exactly why the Cubs are paying him $28,166,000.66 this year and batting him 8th. |
| What a massive two out walk by J-Hey with the pitcher on deck. Really knows when to be aggressive |
| There can only be one excuse for Heyward being in the lineup tonite. Blackmail. |
| Darvish was so shaken by that last fly ball, he walks the Cubs most feared 8th place hitter even tho it puts a runner in scoring position. You just can't make this stuff up. |
| Monster at bat walking ahead of the pitcher. Raises his playoff obp immensely. |
| Darvish is scared shitless of gay wonder boy. Twice let him get up 2-0 unwilling to throw him a strike. Now 3-0 |
| Holy crap heyward wins it with a two run homer. |
| What makes tonight's game special on this forum is Heyward batting the lowest he has ever been in the batting order. And Maddon not only passes over 4 much better options on the bench, but admits the same by batting his $28 million dollar dud 8th. I don't know if the baseball world has ever seen a more incompetent move by a manager with his team down 0-2 in the NLCS. If one didn't know better, one would think the manager is trying to lose the series. Or maybe we don't know better. |
| Heyward justifies the faith of his manager by hitting his 2nd straight fly ball to an outfielder. What an animal! Just completely justifying his $28 million salary for 2017. |
| Heyward is the richest bum in baseball. |
| Bruh, I'm gaslighting. At the same time I'm poking fun of how the American power establishment worships the rich. We see Heyward as a conman, they might see Heyward as a genius whose choice created the opportunity for him to scam the Cubs for $175 million. |
| I thought this forum was about a grossly overpaid player, pathetically impersonating a major league hitter. It's not about a multi-millionaire who successfully scammed/stole $184 million dollars from the stupid management of the Chicago Cubs. Yes, we all admit he was way smarter than the Cubs or any other team that even offered him a Major League contract. But not smarter than most of us who knew he didn't deserve any of it before he signed. |
| The 1-7 batters are obviously dumber than the 8th place batter because they chose to play for less money. Thanks for proving my point about Jason's intelligence. |
| He's a multimillionaire because some dumb general manager give him one of the all time worst contracts. |
| 2017 CUBS SALARIES: Tonights 1st place hitter $16 million, 2nd place $565 thousand, 3rd place hitter $1 million, 4th place $7 million, 5th place $544 thousand, 6th place $6 million, 7th place $644 thousand, 8th place $28 million 166 thousand and 166 dollars. |
| If Jason Heyward is s worthless, how come he's a multimillionaire? I'll bet you're not a multimillionaire. You're just a poor, bitter, and jealous fool. Heyward's smart because all rich people are smarter. The rich worked harder and made better life choices...that's why they're rich and successful. If you are poor, that's your fault for not making better choices. Instead of hating on Heyward for being a success, maybe hate on yourself for being a failure, you losers. |
| Maddon promotes Heyward to the 8th spot to honor his historic play of being the worst hitter in playoff history. |
| Start Ian Happ instead of Mr. October? What you suggest is madness. Jason Heyward is doing something in the post season that nobody has ever done better...the man is a record holding hero. Nobody in the history of October play has ever done worse...and you want to take away his opportunity to set the bar lower...you're on drugs. |
| It is gross incompetence and sheer madness that a manager would start such an easy outin the lineup like Heyward. He is hitting .133 for the playoffs!
Ian Happ tragically sits on the bench, watching thegame like us the fans. He is a five tool player who is excellent defender also. WTF is really going on with this b.s.? |
| Thankfully J-Hey is in the Cubs' lineup again tonight with the season on the line. He is the only man who can save them now |
| Cubs need to just admit his signing was a mistake, eat the cash and dump him before the 2018 season. |
| Ive never seen a guy 6'6 hit like he's 5'5, he's pathetic. |
| Heyward is absolutely worthless. You cant pay a guy that kind of money for defense only. He contributes ZERO at the plate. |
| Heyward can opt out of contract after 2018 - Why is cubs management not ballsy enough to just bench or cut his ass? |
| ian happ is 3x the offensive force (with power) than Heyward, how can cubs not play him instead? Herwayrd batting .133 in post season. i have never seen a man that size hit suck dribbly grounders. Why are the cubs cursed with this albatross? |
| Gay wonder boy. .465 career playoff ops. Very very solid. Almost. As good as chone fogging second worst ever .469. |
| Yep, I can see the headlines already: "HEYWARD AWARDED MVP OF WORLD SERIES AFTER AIRPLANE SPEECH MOTIVATES HIS CUB TEAMMATES TO WIN 4 STRAIGHT GAMES." |
| Yeah, and couldn't have happened to a nicer guy that Lackey....cough cough. |
| The stage is set for a great motivational speech on the plane ride back to Chicago tonight. Btw who would have thought Lackey would give up a home run. Never saw that coming...cough cough |
| How can Maddon justify removing his best offensive weapon from the game after Heyward's massive display of power? Does he not realize that the ball traveled almost 500 feet in only 3 at bats? What does this underpaid stud animal have to do to be respected for the Super Star he has become?!!! |
| It's clear the umpires are giving the Dodgers a larger strike zone when pitching and a smaller zone when batting. |
| If you're gonna fail, fail upwards. -Jason Heyward (Net Worth: $175,000,000) |
| I cannot wait to see MVP gay wonder boy take the mic in the postgame and talk about his incredible contact on the dribbler to first. |
| Heyward got his big payday...no worries...he ain't gotta do shit now but show up and pick his nose. |
| In his last at bat, the ball travel almost 300 ft!!! |
| JHwy is so phuckin cool, he makes Arthur Fonzarelli look like a shark jumpin' nerd. |
| Damn! Heyward was robbed! His lack of power almost allowed him a sweet bloop single!! Hopefully he gets back in the dugout and rips a massive motivational fart and doesn’t let his minuscule salary get him down! |
| I'm sorry, I just do not understand how running down an extra fly ball a couple times a month is worth this offensive performance. Am I crazy? Does defense really matter this much? |
| Heyward has been just destroying baseball like you would expect from a gay wonder boy. |
| Gayson is on fire tonight, no Ks so far, hitting the ball to all fields and almost getting an infield hit!! |
| Heyward robbed of a hit after smashing a rollover dribbler to first base. Demanded a review after pitcher fails to cover first and 1st baseman has to dive for the out. Heyward pouts in dugout because review was denied. This animal is doing all a human can do to will his team on to victory but once again they failed to back him up. |
| Sure I've never seen so many wild pitchs, fastballs and loose balla after strikeouts. |
| I have solid info that awesome catch Heyward made to save the game he was letting loose an enormous fart to power him more quickly to the ball. This man is a true champion. Also, the outfield completely reeked of ass after that play. |
| This is the ugliest playoff series I've ever seen. Neither the Cubs or the Nat look like a playoff caliber team. |
| To keep this game just close enough to be interesting. A truly smart man.
That statement equally applies to Joe Maddon and how he uses pitchers. Preserve an 8-4 lead? Joe says, f*ck that! We got bums in the pen who can tie this game up! |
| Jason wants to keep this game just close enough to be interesting. A truly smart man |
| Why the IBB to Heyward? Because Baez is even worse. The only pitch Baez doesn't swing at is the called third strike. Heyward and Baez are a blackhole in Cubs line up. |
| The Cubs improbable rally tonight has been due in large part to super-slugger J-Hey. The intentional walk he drew was more than impressive and the 5 men he has left on base may have saved the Cubs season. This man is an animal |
| Hero Heyward's not gonna robbed of that 5th LOB. |
| If the Nats don't throw in the dirt to Heyward, (like you need to fool him, LOL) and if they don't IBB him later, they would only be down 1 run. They deserve to lose game 5 again just like 2013 to the Cardinals. |
| Dusty Baker "The Wise" is not impressed by Rizzo but is afraid of Heyward. The guy really knows baseball. |
| Then Dusty Baker IBB Heyward,a very feared hitter. |
| Nats afraid of Heyward's power display, walk him. You can't fix stupid. Cubs win. |
| With Heyward protecting him in the line up, Russell delivers a Go ahead 2 run double. Heyward is the best. |
| Jason Heyward AB's. Where rally's go to die |
| After two fouls our hero provoques a wild pitch, putting the game 3 x 4. After that he's strikeout. What a display of power: 0 for 2 with 4 LOB and we're only in the 3rd inning. |
| 2 at bats, bb grounder, silly swing strikeout, 4 LOBs. (would have been 5 but for a wild pitch). |
| have made a fortune on live bets on this loser |
| Not only does he not deserve his contract value but he doesnt deserve the team- cant pull through at times when a team captain needs to
So frustrated seing this guy bat |
| Please tell me the Cubs have the option to opt out of Heyward's contract if he doesn't produce? |
| How much does Heyward pay Joe to get these starts? Surely it's got to be bribery because the man can't hit. |
| Fuk'n Hayward is useless. The guy can't hit the ball out of the infield. Why is he starting when Happ is on the bench? |
| Broken bat dribbler with bases loaded. Mr. Clutch.......errr.......make that Mr. Choke. |
| Bases loaded two outs... soft groundout to 1B. Not sure why he's starting tonight against a lefty pitcher, with hendricks being a ground ball pitcher. Good call joe. |
| My forecast is 0 for 3 with a HBP, finishing the series with a .182 avg, and stating that he came out of the series strenghtened. |
| I'm predicting Hayward goes 4/4 tonight...all infield pop up. |
| Joe Maddon needs to turn over the manager position to Heyward. He would fart and belch, all motivating his team to victory. In the dugout he would suck all the players off and tantalize them by belching in their assholes. The Cubs would win by 40 runs! |
| Heyward needs to suck off Rizzo and Bryant and belch in their anuses before tonight's game to give them good luck! |
| After only a double, triple and homer shy of hitting for the cycle, Heyward is rewarded with a start against a LH pitcher. Theo got a hold of Joe and told him "no more benching of our most prolific hitter and team leader!" |
| I heard that Heyward wanted to give a motivational speech by jump farting in Kris Bryant’s face and belching right in Anthony Rizzo’s butthole! Coach Maddon refused this request, and it cost the team the game! |
| No rain delay? And we thought it was a well established proven fact that God was a Cub fan after last years lucky rain delay! Oh well, maybe he was just asleep. After all, this wasn't do or die. |
| Ain't nobody been so good at poppin' up the ball since Willie Mays Hays. |
| Inning over, now make it pour!! |
| Cubs are just a rain delay and Heyward motivational speech away from pulling this game out. Come on God!! |
| Without Heyward leadership on the field, the team fell apart. |
| And just shy of the cycle, Joe Maddon takes his most feared hitter out of the game in a double switch and paves the way for a grand slam to lose the game and maybe the series. Serves him right, should have left him in! |
| K swinging in the 7th, but still a just a double,triple and homer shy of the cycle! |
| Heyward couldn't hit a watermellon with a trashcan lid. |
| Now tied with Rizzo for best Cub batting average in the NLDS. He is embarrasing Joe Maddon for benching him in game 3 with a stunning display of offense. |
| A walk and a hit on a grounder at the middle, the man is on fire! |
| Jason Heyward, the living proof that the WAR statistic is crap! |
| Monster walk to keep the inning alive! The guy's unstopable! |
| Most feared hitter in Cubs lineup draws a walk of course. So laughable. |
| Runner on third and two outs? What do you think jason will do? |
| J-Hey back in the lineup with Strasburg on the mound. Go ahead and mark your scorecards now: 6-3, 4, K, 4-3 |
| $23 mil burnt on this dumpster fire. Thank God the Cubs signed this little league to for the long term. |
| Just a massive display of offensive prowess with a dribbler back to the pitcher, a popup to 1st base, and a broken bat pop fly single. Then to showcase his immense base running skills, he lets himself get doubled up at first base to kill off the Cubs rally. What an absolute monster, sure to be the new Mr. October!! |
| I hope the person responsible for paying this jackass $23,000,000/yr was fired. Pathetic! |
| Gay wonder boy with a crucial HBP late in the game to bring his 2017 ops up to .250. Almost equaling his career playoff ops of .465. Amazing. |
| Jason Heyard didn’t do much at the plate tonight but he did leave some heinous farts in the dugout that really motivated his team. Much like last year Jason earns his money in October, not through any actual in game contribution. But by motivating others by belching and farting in their faces! |
| Gayest player in mlb history. |
| This monster cranked out 11 homers. Blossoming into a true slugger well worthy of the piddly 23 mil per year they are squeezing him for. |
| 6 more years of this turd |
| I want Heyward to drink grape soda out of my asscrack |
| Remember, this MILB Single A player, posing as a MLB Super Stud, is listed at 6'5", 240 pounds and makes $23,000,000.00 per year. His statistics look like a 5'9", 160 pound rookie making around $500,000.00 per year. (which is his true worth.) Just mind boggling that he will be back for 5 more years of the same. |
| Less total bases this year than in his horrific 2016. 5 less. What a comeback. |
| Congrats to the dumb ape on the lowest xbh and walk total for a single season in his career. |
| I know, but...but...but..his defense! |
| 2 year averages: .356 slugging, .672 ops, .244 batting, 9 home runs, 54 rbis, 21 doubles, 7.5 stolen bases. Has to be the lowest 2 year averages (in the most categories) of any other MLB regular starting player. These are the type of figures that get any other player (not having a 7 year/$184 mil. contract) DFAd or at least sent down to AA to learn how to hit. But not this stud (oops, I mean dud). He will be the regular starting right fielder for a team competing for it's second straight WS victory. And there's no way a smart manager, who wants to give his team the best chance to win, would even consider putting him on the playoff roster with several better options. Much less starting him. Totally laughable. |
| and 1 more pop fly single to finish off one of the greatest comeback seasons in MLB history!......uhh.........wait...... |
| 2 years 18 homers. What a stud. |
| FURTHER NEWS UPDATE: Jason Heyward moves up to 47th place (out of 52) in slugging % for all MLB starting outfielders. And he moves all the way up to 46th place in OPS %. Just a tremendous come back season after finishing DEAD LAST in both categories in 2016. The Cubs are now finally cashing in on their $184 million super star investment. Joe Maddon will incur the wrath of all Cub fans if he dares to bench this monster masher for ANY playoff games like he did last year. |
| NEWS UPDATE: Jason Heyward proudly sets on the Cub bench during the last weekend of the season. He is resting up with the regulars after carrying his team all season with his monster .390% slugging and .717% ops. His new stance and swing resulted in a massive increase over last season when he posted a .325% slugging and a .631% ops, the absolute worst #s of any MLB starting outfielder. With the Comeback Player Award all but his, he is rumored to be practicing a new team motivational speech, just in case he stinks the place up like he did in last years' playoffs. |
| Let’s keep in mind his .465 career ops in the playoffs. Of course his red hot finish. A homer off a total bum and a lucky double means he’s the starting right fielder over happ almora, Contreras lastella and schwarber all who are way more productive hitters. |
| Just another ground ball that he got around on a little quicker than normal and it gets past the 1st baseman down the line for a lucky double. Notice how his extra base hit production has picked up now that the pressure is off? Couldn't hit a lick when it all counted and when he did, it was usually when they already had something like a 10-1 lead. Yessir, the most useless $23 million "super star" in baseball history. |
| 15 doubles already and the season has barely started!! .......oh.............wait. |
| Heyward makes it to the coveted 25! club. (That's 11 homers, 14 doubles already in the young season.) Another grooved fastball to the only spot he can hit a baseball, waist high, exact middle of the plate. 6 inches in any direction and it's another infield dribbler. 11 stupid pitchers haven't figured that out yet. What a monster. |
| Heyward makes the 10/14 club!!! Holy F!!!! Who could imagine getting this incredible value from a bench warmer only earning $184 M? |
| .158 post season hitter. But you gotta have him for that defense. As a right fielder tour defense is of so little value it’s a joke for them to pretend he’s a difference maker. In the playoffs you are up against good pitchers. Maddon should poison him if he wants to win. |
| 106 career post season plate appearances. .465 Ops. Absolutely hilarious. |
| If heyward gets even 1 hit in the playoffs this year he is an instant October legend. Weak single up the middle because defenses are too ashamed to embarrass this stupid monkey. |
| Carrying his team on his back with another 0 for 3 and a monster walk. The relief pitcher almost wet his pants out of fear as Heyward strutted to the plate to impersonate a major league batter. "No sir, not going to let THIS masher beat me, just put him on." |
| This dud shouldn't even make the playoff roster, much less start any games. But he'll be there with his $23 million contract. He should ride the bench as a pinch runner and late game defense insert only. But no, Maddon will start him game 1 or he pouts on the bench. (prediction) |
| Gayward vs gaybrist for worst cub signing ever and worst starting player. Gayward still hangin in with a .705 ops over gaybrist .702. Brist has one more homer and 7 more doubles though. Are these nutjobs going to actually start games in the playoffs? |
| Some lame ass reliever couldn’t throw Gayward a strike because of his intimidating plate presence and his incredible 105 pound bench press and enormous chest muscles. |
| 8 games left. Lock for lowest walk total of career also lowest doubles total and xbh total of career. In total a below average major league hitter but his defense is worth 23$M per year right. WTF. Are they going to actually start this nigger in the playoffs like they did last year when he batted .100 for the entire playoffs. This turd should be flushed. Useless when you have almora happ and jay who are better overall. And schwarbers overall batting numbers are far better with 3x as many homers more doubles etc. |
| Jason Heyward, worst contract in Chicago sports history other than that brainless idiot that played for da bo's and be blowing out his knees. |
| Jason Heyward is bad tv. Spit the gum out you dope! |
| Someone explain this to me. Why would any team not bring all the outfielders in to the infield when this nigger comes to the plate. All he can do is hit ground balls. WTF is wrong with MLB teams. |
| The worlds' greatest ground ball singles hitter does it again. Struttin around like a Peacock, pretending he belongs on a Major League baseball field. |
| Heyward gave up all those doubles in order to become the greatest "scratch" singles hitter of all time. Small price to pay to gain such praise and acclaim. We are all in awe!! |
| His comeback involves going from 27 doubles to 13. What an unbelievable turnaround. The average is inflated bc they give him hits on errors like not covering first. What an embarrassment to Baseball. |
| Amazing display of power with 3 wicked infield outs tonight. A popup and 2 ground balls. What a difference his off season hard work on a new stance and swing has made. Just absolutely stunning results that has locked up the Comeback Player of Year award. And set the bar high for future Comeback Player awards. oh..............wait...... |
| Heyward now on pace to set all time record for ground ball singles in one season. Can't miss Hall of Famer. |
| Yes, a true "Legend in his own Mind" and worthy of every penny and more of his $184 million contract! |
| NEWS FLASH: Jason (Clutch) Heyward goes 3 for 4 and smokes a bloop single a few inches over the shortstops glove to drive in the winning run to seal the Comeback Player of the Year award and MVP trophy in the NL. After delivering an epic, emotional, motvational speech to his teammates during the 7th inning "TMOTTBG drunk Harry Caray" stretch, once again, as he has done time after time all season long, he put his team on his shoulders and carried them across the finish line to another victory and 3 game sweep of the evil Cardinals. After the "almost" division clinching heroics of Heyward, his teammates carried him off the field on their shoulders with the drunken, delirious croud chanting "MVP" (or singing some other stupid drinking song). |
| OMG, now up to 10/13! Lost the chance of getting to 12/12. Unlikely to make it to a 13/13 season. However, now that his teammates have pretty much sewed up the division title for him, he might just go on a no longer needed rampage against scrub, call-up pitchers and demand the respect he deserves of batting cleanup in the playoffs. |
| Benched today. .702 ops not cutting it when everyone else on the team is better? |
| Baseball's weakest singles hitter is walked during a Cub rally by a frightened Carlos Martinez! Thats right, don't let the Cub's best MVP masher beat you, just put him on base. 7th place hitters like Heyward are to be feared! Why, he has 12 doubles and 10 home runs already and the season is only 5 1/2 months old!! (You can't make this stuff up, it's so laughable.) |
| Double digit homers!! Holy f!! What an epic performance and feat off a total scrub pitcher later in the game when nothing was on the line. Get excited. He will opt out and now get the biggest contract in sports history after next year. |
| Oh, and don't forget those 4 stolen bases. |
| and with a little more than 2 weeks left in the season, he has a "chance" to match his stupendous doubles output of 12 with 12 home runs. Then he would be known for having a 12-12 season. MVP/Comeback Player would then be a cinch. |
| Career night, high fives, struttin' around like his "lucky swing" home run means anything with a 11-5 lead already. Will be mad and pout if he is not interviewed as Star of the Game. Stupid pitcher threw it right down the middle with nothing on it, the only pitch this "minor leaguer" could hit over a fence. He'll need a larger cap size after getting his (uneeded) 10th home run this early in the season! What a stud!! |
| beautiful tapper to the pitcher. that was almost big trouble. what a masher. |
| Another monster ground ball out for his 50th RBI. Gonna be struttin' around the dugout like he belongs there. Actually, he would be no where near a major league dugout without his $184 million contract. Absolutely laughable that he is a major leaguer, much less being paid super star money! |
| but...but...but what about his defense? |
| Why does any team not bring the outfield in to the infield against this piece of shit?? All he does is hit ground balls up the middle. Idiocy. |
