My "Remember When..." Queer Fantasies - Part V

Here are some of my "Remember When..." queer fantasies involving Diamond and the rest of the Saved By The Bell gang:

"Diamond is Attacked After Swimming" ep recap
Posted: Mar 11 2009, 09:05 AM

Diamond, remember that episode where you showered after taking a swimming gym class? Remember how you were naked and everyone grabbed towels and started snapping them at you? Remember when Coach Sonski snapped a wet towel right on your boney ass? Remember how much that hurt? Remember when Ox snapped a towel right in your crotch and Slater snapped a towel on the tip of your hooked nose? Remember when your nose started dripping blood? Remember when Mr. Belding yelled out, "Hey, hey, hey, what is going on here?!!" Remember how mad Belding was when he saw you dripping blood on the shower floor? Remember when Belding picked up a large bar of Dial soap and nailed you right in the face with it? Remember when Zack's dad appeared out of nowhere and rolled the big plastic towel cart toward you, slamming you into the wall? Remember how he pinned you against the wall while everyone fired bars of soap at you?

Remember when Zack's dad let you go and then Mr. Dewey started sodomizing you with a bottle of Suave brand shampoo? Remember when Dewey lodged an entire bottle of shampoo up your now-torn rectum? Remember when Mr. Hooper, the child molesting bicycle repair shop man from the Diff'rent Strokes episode, showed up and rode over you with a tandem bike that he rode with your mom on the show, Mrs. Powers? Remember how you were crying uncontrollably at this time? Remember how much that turned on Mrs. Powers? Remember when Mrs. Powers removed her skirt and started fingering herself while she sucked on Zack's cock? Remember when Slater started doing Zack's dad in the ass? Remember when Slater gave Zack's dad a reach-around and Zack's dad blew a huge load into your face? Remember how several students started stomping on your face and threw locks and other random gym locker room equipment at you while they tried to kill you? Remember when Slater finally yelled out that you'd had enough and then picked you up and carried you into the bathroom? remember when Slater launched you face-first into a toilet bowl that Mr. Tuttle had clogged up earlier in the day with a huge dump? You sure got screwed over that time!



"Diamond Goes on a Field Trip" recap
Posted: Mar 9 2009, 08:55 AM

Diamond, do you remember that episode where your class took a field trip to the La Brea Tar Pits? Remember when you went into the bathroom and stared at Belding and Slater while they were taking a piss? Remember when they saw you leering at them and called you a "Jew Faggot" and then peed on you and threw you into a big tar pit? Remember how you almost died and were only saved when Belding dropped his pants and then waded into the tar pit and farted? Remember how powerful Belding's fart was? Remember how the force of Belding's fart ejected you from the tar pit and launched you up into a nearby tree? Remember how the tree had sharp branches? Remember when one of the branches pierced the cornea of your right eyeball, permanently blindind you in that eye? Remember how you started crying and told Belding you couldn't see? Remember when Belding started laughing and said, "Then I guess you won't see this cumming, BITCH!" and then jerked off into your damaged eye? Remember how Belding's diseased seed caused a bad infection, causing your right eyeball to fall out? Remember when Slater kicked your eyeball into the sewer as everyone on the field trip clapped and laughed? Remember how your mom, Mrs. Powers, was a chaperone on the field trip? Remember how she was leading the clapping and then lifted her skirt and started fingering herself while you cried? Remember when Slater walked over to Mrs. Powers and started doing her in the ass? Remember how this was the worst day in your life and to this day you wear a glass eye and aren't allowed to drive an automobile because you have no depth perception? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!



"Anthrax Scare" episode recap
Posted: Mar 4 2009, 09:56 PM

Diamond, remember that day back in 2002 when Belding ran through the halls of Bayside and yelled that there was an anthrax attack? Remember how Belding threw a piece of cloth to you and instructed you to place it over your mouth? Remember when you did place the cloth over your mouth and discovered that it was coated in some kind of gooey liquid? Remember when Belding started laughing and then you pulled the cloth away from your face and discovered that you were holding AC Slater's ten-year-old jock strap over your mouth? Remember when Belding told you that he had stolen Slater's jock strap back in 1992 after wrestling practice and had jerked off into it thousands of times over the years? Remember when Belding told you that Tuttle and Mylo the janitor had also jerked off into the jock strap earlier that day? Remember how Belding took a photograph of you holding Slater's jock strap with cum dripping off your chin? Remember when Belding made an enlarged poster from the photo and prominently displayed it at the Class of 1993's Ten Year Reunion held the next year, in 2003? Remember when Slater and Ox viciously ass-raped you at the reunion for messing with wrestling jock straps? You sure got screwed over that time!



"Kevin and the Exxon Valdez" episode recap
Posted: Feb 26 2009, 10:38 PM

Diamond, do you remember that episode where Kevin wore a life preserver and pretended to be the drunken Captain Joseph Hazelwood of the Exxon Valdez, the massive oil tanker which ran around in Alaska in 1989? Remember when Kevin started pounding your ass and then said that he was going to crash into some rocks and breach the ship's hull? Remember when Kevin then shot a massive load of oil into your brownpipe which then squirted out of your ass and all over the place? Remember when Kevin's oil coated Hound Dog's fur and Hound Dog started suffocating? Remember when the Greenpeace activist Jessie Spano saw the oil spilled on the floor and started protesting outside your house and threw rocks through your windows? Remember Mylo the janitor walked into your bedroom smoking a crack pipe? Remember when he dropped his hot crack pipe and it landed in a puddle of oil and ignited in fire? Remember when your house burned down killing Hound Dog, and you were charged with arson? Remember when you spent 5 years in prison? Remember how your cellmate, Tyrone Washington, had rough sex with your every night, completely against your will while the other inmates listened and jerked off? You sure learned about the hazards of oil spills that time!



"Diamond watches the State of the Union Speech"
Posted: Feb 25 2009, 04:32 AM

Diamond, remember that special "live" Saved By The Bell episode that aired tonight during Obama's State of the Union speech? Remember how you and the rest of the Saved By The Bell gang was over at Belding's house watching the speech? Remember how the speech was supposed to begin at 8:00 PM, but Obama took 15 minutes to walk to the podium, stopping along the way to shake hands with everyone? Remember how annoyed that made you? Remember when you yelled out, "What's the deal with Obama? Why does he keep shucking and jiving? Is he on 'nigger time'? Zoinks!!!" Remember when Mylo yelled out, "Shut the fuck up, you hook-nosed honkey!! Mylo's gone git his, muthafucka!!!" Remember when Mylo cracked you over the head with his mop, which he apparently brought with him to Belding's house? Remember when the black nerd on the show, Ollie Creekly, jumped up and tore off his trousers? Remember when Mylo inserted his diseased cock up your ass while Ollie stuck his in your mouth? Remember when Mr. Dewey was cracking you in the back with Mylo's mop?

Remember when Slater started kicking you in the ribs with his football cleats? Remember when Maxwell Nerdstrom started sucking Zack's dad's cock and Kevin the Robot started doing your mom on the show, Mrs. Powers, right in the ass with his metal cock? Remember when Zack, Coach Rizzo, and Ox started jerking off while watching you being viciously attacked? Remember when your large screen CRT television started wobbling and you looked over and saw the TV tipped over, the glass tube shattered, and Mr. Tuttle rolled out? Remember how you realized that Tuttle had apparently been hiding in the TV box while masturbating vigorously? Remember how Tuttle had multiple lacerations from where the broken shards of glass from the glass tube cut his morbidly obese body? Remember when Tuttle blew a load, staining Belding's carpet with cum in the process, and then died? Remember when Belding blamed you for all of the blood and cum stains on his carpet and suspended you without pay from your job as his assistant at Bayside? Obama's State of the Union speech really screwed you over that time!



"Diamond Takes the SAT" recap
Posted: Feb 19 2009, 06:53 AM

Diamond, do you remember that episode where Belding was proctoring the SATs? Remember how he was the timekeeper while everyone at Bayside was taking the test? Remember when you coughed and Belding got really mad and started screaming at you for ruining the test? Remember how you were subjected to violent teabagging, anal rapes, Cleveland Steamers, Angry Pirates, and Baby Birds, among other gay sex moves for the next two hours? Remember how Belding even called Zack's dad to come over and enjoy the festivities? Remember how Zack still managed to score a 1502 on his SATs despite masturbating for 10 minutes during the math section? Standardized tests really screwed you over that time!



"Diamond Meets the 'Bash Brothers'" recap
Posted: Feb 18 2009, 10:24 AM

Diamond, remember how you were a huge fan of the Oakland A's baseball team in the late 1980s? Remember how you followed Mark McGwire's monster rookie season in 1987 and Jose Canseco's awesome 40-40 season in 1988? Remember when Canseco and McGwire visited Bayside after winning the 1988 World Series? Remember how had just graduated from John F. Kennedy Junior High in Indianapolis, IN in spring 1988 and were now attending Bayside High School in Southern California in fall 1988? Remember when Canseco and McGwire spoke in the Bayside auditorium? Remember how Canseco and McGwire had just injected each other in the butt with steroids 15 minutes prior to speaking to the school? Remember how roided-out Canseco and McGwire were at this time? Remember how the steroids affected their vision and made them horny? Remember when Jose Canseco saw your Jew-fro and thought it was a hairy pussy? Remember when Mark McGwire saw your Zubaz and assumed that you had a tight virgin male butthole? Remember when Canseco showed his cock into your mouth and McGwire ripped off your Zubaz and lodged his dick up your asshole? Remember when you attempted to yell out, "Zoinks!," but couldn't because your mouth was full of Canseco's hispanic cock? Remember how Canseco and McGwire spit-roasted you for the next 15 minutes while giving each other their famous "forearm bash" moves? Remember when Canseco and McGwire both dumped several loads of hot cum in you? Your child memories sure were ruined that time!



"Diamond Gets a Flu Shot" recap
Posted: Feb 9 2009, 09:25 PM

Diamond, do you remember that time when you went into the nurse's office at Bayside to get your annual flu shot? Remember how you walked into the office and saw that AC Slater was your nurse? Remember how Slater said that he was just helping out the regular nurse? Remember when Slater injected you with a shot of anti-freeze, instead of the advertised flu vaccine? Remember how you quickly collapsed and suffered from blood poisoning? Remember when you begged Slater to call an ambulance? Remember when Slater said he would, after he "got his"? Remember when Slater farted all over you and had unprotected sex with your butthole? Remember when you suffered kidney failure and spend the next 6 months in the hospital hooked up to a dialysis machine? Remember how you reeked of the smell of baked tortillas as a result of Slater's potent farts? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!



"Belding, the 'Incredible Hulk'" episode recap
Posted: Feb 9 2009, 04:48 PM

Diamond, do you remember how "The Incredible Hulk" was your favorite TV show? Remember how you used to jerk off while looking at Lou Ferrigno dressed up in the Hulk costume? Remember how you liked it when Bruce Banner on that show would say, "Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry?" and then he would turn green and enlarge and become the Incredible Hulk?

Remember when you were in Belding's office after school at Bayside one day and asked Belding for some career advice? Remember when you told Belding you wanted to go get a college degree and become a medical doctor? Remember when Belding suggested that a better career move would be for you to pay $15k tuition to attend college for one year and then drop out and become his assistant for a salary of $7/hour? Remember when you thanked Belding and then said, "Zoinks!!" several times? Remember how annoying you were being? Remember when Belding said, "Diamond, don't make me angry! You wouldn't like me when I'm angry?" Remember how you assumed that Belding said that because he knew that The Incredible Hulk was your favorite TV show? Remember when you started touching various items on Belding's desk and accidentally knocked a pen onto the ground? Remember how mad that made Belding? Remember when Belding pulled off his clothes and said, "You did it Diamond, now I am so angry you hook-nosed rim goblin!" Remember how Belding's cock was green from all of the STDs and cancer he had contracted? Remember when Belding's cock started to get bigger, just like the Incredible Hulk's body on the TV show? Remember when Belding stuck his cock up your ass and raped you, paining tearing apart your rectum? Remember when Belding pumped your torn ass full of his diseased seed? You sure learned the consequences of being annoying that time!



"Diamond's Band" recap
Posted: Feb 5 2009, 08:00 AM

Diamond, do you remember that episode where you had your ten-year Bayside high school reunion? Remember how Lisa Turtle sent out a questionnaire asking what everyone had done in the previous ten years? Remember how anxious that made you feel, because you were a college dropout and had been Belding's assistant for your first seven years after graduating? Remember how you knew that Zack was a surgeon, Maxwell Nerdstrom had made millions in Silicon Valley, Kelly was a TV weather girl, Jessie was a porn star, and AC Slater had been deported to Mexico? Remember how you filled out your questionnaire and wrote that you were a musician and had been in the music industry since you were a child? Remember how you wrote that it was your lifelong goal and that you were in a band called "Salty the Pocketknife" with a bald little ugly dude named Evan Stone? Remember when Lisa contacted you and asked you to perform with your band at the reunion? Remember when you agreed to do so?

Remember when the reunion was held at Universal Studios in Los Angeles? Remember how band equipment was set up? Remember when you showed up at the reunion wearing your favorite yellow Zubaz suit? Remember when Lisa introduce you and you walked out on the stage by yourself, as the rest of your band hadn't showed up? Remember when Lisa asked about your band and you replied nonchalantly, "Oh, I made it up. Zoinks! I was never in a band." Remember how mad that made everyone? Remember when everyone started throwing beer bottles at you? Remember when Belding fired a glass vodka bottle at your head from a mere 10 feet away? Remember when Belding threw you off the stage and then Lisa started stomping on your in her high heel dress shoes? Remember when Mr. Dewey and Rod Belding started spit-roasting you while everyone else at the reunion was masturbating vigorously? Remember how everyone blew their loads on you and then Ox picked you up and dumped your lifeless body into the sewer with the other excrement?

You sure learned to tell the truth in that episode!

More Fantastic Spank-worthy Posts From Dustindiamond.com!

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More Posts from the Real Dustin Diamond at Dustindiamond.com?

28th October 2004 - 08:42:31 AM
10637 : Dustin Diamond
Hey guys, just wanted to say that I've really enjoyed reading your posts here and on the STPK forum over the last few days (except for the child porn spamming motherfucker, who needs to die). Keep em cumming!

- Dusty

PS I'm gay


27th October 2004 - 07:22:57 PM
10623 : The REAL Dustin Diamond
You dirty motherfuckers! My band can't even have a message board without sick fags posting hot erotic gay messages! I'll sue every one of you faggots! You queens take your disgustingly arousing "Rim Jobs" and your deliciously sinful "Arabian Goggles" and go back to San Francisco! I don't want to hear another word about the wildy stimulating abomination of God that is the Dirty Sanchez. Or the ever boner-inducing Glass Bottom Boat. Not one word! And how can you be so cruel to a depressed little gothic girl? She just wants you to like her!

Fantastic Spank-worthy Posts From Dustindiamond.com!

05th January 2005 - 08:14:29 AM
11866 :
screech, whose nutsack felt better massaging your tonsils? was it maxwell nerdstrom, slater, zack, or mr. belding?


04th January 2005 - 09:39:31 PM
11862 : Steven Jerkoff
Hey if you're really Dustin Diamond we should hang out and have queer sex. I live in South Milwaukee.


03rd January 2005 - 08:03:48 PM
11848 :
screech, you are such a pathetic loser! This website was my first hit on google.com when I typed in "queer 'Cleveland steamer'"


04th January 2005 - 02:35:04 PM
11857 : Corey Haim
Blockbuster news! I am glad to see the fan who recently posted regarding Fart Patrol! It is going to be released nationwide on August 19th 2005! Dustin and I are very proud of our work and want to thank all of you in here that have stood by us along the way. Please get the word out that August 19th is going to be a day to remember. I am willing to bet that Dustin will be up for an Oscar in 2006!
Peace,
C. Haim


03rd January 2005 - 10:36:23 PM
11851 : Mr. Dewey
screech, i need you to stay after class tomorrow and lick my asshole while i jerk off.


03rd January 2005 - 02:54:27 PM
11843 : Creepy Father
Mr. Diamond, my son came crying to me after discovering your website. What is this crap, and why have you allowed people to write perverted things here? You should know that I pitched a tent when I started reading the messages and my tent has not gone away even though I've been reading messages for the past 2 hours. I do have a question for you that I can't get out of my head. Whose nuts felt better in your mouth - Mr. Belding's or Slater's?


03rd January 2005 - 10:01:48 AM
11839 : Creepy Uncle
Angry Mum, Dad & Grandfather, I was very turned on by your posts. Have you ever caught your children masturbating to the posts on this guestbook, or to other online pornography? Have you ever walked in on them handling their under-developed, pre-pubescent gentialia whilst looking at naughty things on the Internet? Do you ever punish them by forcing them to play with your genitals, or by inserting things into their puckered, ruby-red starfish?? If I was allowed to look after children, that's what I would do!!! Oh my!!!!!


02nd January 2005 - 12:09:09 PM
11833 : Angry mom
My son is a big fan of "Saved by the Bell" and was searching for "Dustin Diamond" and found this website. I am totally appauled at the entries in this website which my 9 year old son was reading and am completely disgusted with Mr.Diamond. It is obvious that Mr.Diamond is some kind of pervert and getting his kicks from this filth...I wont even let my son watch that show again. Goodbye and may god have mercy on your soul.


03rd January 2005 - 02:06:16 PM
11842 : Rocco
Hello everyone. I hope everyone had a good new years celebration and its good to see Gay Zack back. For New Years I went to a truck stop dressed as Belding with a gang of my queer friends. We took a shitload of fireworks with us and shot them at each others asses! I took a few bottle rockets right up the ass! Then I stuck a roman candle in my ass and fired it at a Screech. It caught his Jew Fro on fire and he ran around screaming while he burned up! The rest of us had a great laugh about that! After that we got down to serious business and had a circle jerk, all cumming at the stoke of midnight! True Orgazmic Delight!
ROCCO


03rd January 2005 - 10:39:18 AM
11840 : Gay Zack
I'm back after a 2 week long tour of rest stops and glory holes! I dressed up as Screech and engaged in the filthiest of sexual acts in truck stops, rest stops and glory holes all through out the country! Everywhere I went queers were more than willing to lube up my ass and shot their load in my jew fro wig. I wore the same pair of zubaz, and they are caked in anal juices and semen of mine and many countless other queers on the scene. My ass is really hurting, but I shall soon be back to my local dumpster scene to show off some new moves I learned.


30th December 2004 - 12:22:48 AM
11797 : gaylord perry
screech, i want your bunghole right now. cum to the hot tub in the teachers' lounge where mr. tuttle and i have gay orgies.


15th December 2004 - 06:05:43 PM
11671 : Sweet Molasses
Hey Dusty, it's me. Remember? The hot, studly negro stripper you picked up a few nights back at the Blue Oyster bar? Remember how we went to the VIP lounge and you got spit-roasted by me and my buddy Raoul? No? Oh well. I was really hoping you'd call me sometime, we had a lot of fun that night!

Anyway, I just wanted to get in touch to let you know that Raoul's test results came back negative. Isn't that a relief! I know you were so worried after you swallowed 3 consecutive loads of his jizz, and then let him piss and shit all over you.

Anyway, stop by again sometime, me and Raoul are looking forward to pulling another train with you! TOOT TOOOT!!!


11th November 2003 - 12:12:13 PM
5670 : Rowing machine episode
Remember When,

I do remember a "rowing machine" related episode.
However, my recollection is slightly different. I recall
Mr. Balding sitting on the floor in between Slater and Diamond. He then extended his arms and used their stiff members as oars! Man overboard!

-Loadboy

11th November 2003 - 11:56:55 AM
5669 : Leaky Ass Queer
Some great messages today from my fellow queers, thanks for posting as it really helps me to blow my load. Another sterling entry from the remember when guy too, very imaginative and of course horny as hell. I really hope that Diamond reads your posts, maybe we should email them directly to his agent now that Gwando so kindly posted his details?

I'm off now to trim my ass hair into a "Diamond" as I'm going to a gay bar tonight - I'll let all you queers know how I get on tomorrow.


27th September 2003 - 12:25:25 PM
5011 : Ham Span
Amanda Chachi's AID's is pretty far gone now, he can't post on this site anymore. He is spending his last few days giving as many blow jobs as he can.
Dustin Diamond is getting fat, and has stopped trimming his beard. It is becoming bushy and resembles pubic hair.
I am disapointed because i used to find slender Diamond with his sexy neatly trimmed beard very exciting to the groin. Now i am beginning to find myself less attracted to him.
Get it together Diamond!
Go on a diet and trim your beard please, or you wont get any love from me.


25th September 2003 - 06:06:44 PM
4993 : drewbear
Dusty why won't you all do us a favor.......kill your self. Your guest book sucks almost as much cock as you. I can smell the gay sex through my modem, you gay bitch. Your a fucking faggot and your gonna go to hell because you suck more dick than a drunk vietnamese prostitute named ming lee on buy-one-get-one-free day. And Mario Lopez can suck mikey's motha fuckin inch-high private eye.


25th September 2003 - 09:39:09 AM
4992 : Mr. Conholer
I've been hanging around in London with some of my homo-boys this week and we went along to see David Blaine doing his thing in a box. It was really dull. To spice it up we'd like to suggest that Dustin replaces David in the box, and instead of water being fed through the tube we think it'd be a good idea to have hot fresh nut butter going through there.

I for one would love to see such an endurance test, and I'm positive that Dustin could survive for 44 days on love custard alone. It'd be great if they had a little "milking" booth where all of London's queers could J/O into Diamond's supply whilst watching Saved By The Bell re-runs - and sooner or later there's bound to be a nice soupcon of "dirty" jism in there that will give Dusty a little extra to think about!

Dustin is definitely a gay icon here in London, a few of the guys are already sporting what they call "Diamond's"- a cute little goatee with a few drops of dried up man-fat dangling off the end!

AIM Instant Messaging Conversation With Salty the Pocketknife

Dustin Diamond was in the awful band, Salty the Pocketknife, several years ago. The leader of Salty the Pocketknife was a drummer in the band, Evan Stone. The following are conversations between someone from the band (probably either Dustin Diamond or Evan Stone) (using the login "Saltythepocket") and some random people who wanted to harass Diamond:

fates end k1d (5:27:55 AM): happy new year, you fuck!
fates end k1d (5:28:00 AM): happy new year, screech?
fates end k1d (5:28:04 AM): screech??
fates end k1d (5:28:07 AM): hello?
fates end k1d (5:28:10 AM): hello.....sreech??
fates end k1d (5:28:15 AM): hellllllllllloooooooooOooooooooOOoooooo?
fates end k1d (5:28:21 AM): anybody there?
fates end k1d (5:28:26 AM): hello!?
fates end k1d (5:28:28 AM): yoohoooooOOooooo, screech????
fates end k1d (5:28:30 AM): hmm....
fates end k1d (5:28:33 AM): where at you!?
Saltythepocket (5:28:35 AM): please stop
Saltythepocket signed off at 5:28:37 AM.



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Metallica479: fuck you
SCREECH------->Saltythepocket: hmmm
Saltythepocket: no
MeTaLLiCa479: yeah
MeTaLLiCa479: you are fucking cool man
MeTaLLiCa479: your band rocks
MeTaLLiCa479: seriously
Saltythepocket: thanks
Saltythepocket: are you bi polar?
MeTaLLiCa479: no, i just say "fuck you" as hi
MeTaLLiCa479: its cool
MeTaLLiCa479: like your band, you guys are awesome
MeTaLLiCa479: buty screech is a fucking homo
MeTaLLiCa479: you should kick him out
MeTaLLiCa479: and get hitler
Saltythepocket: i bet you have alot of friends because of this lovely greeting
MeTaLLiCa479: yeah man
MeTaLLiCa479: we're freinds
MeTaLLiCa479: me and you and screech
MeTaLLiCa479: so happy together
Saltythepocket: not likely
Saltythepocket: i find you to be somewhat of an ass
MeTaLLiCa479: yeah man
MeTaLLiCa479: i like robots
Saltythepocket: im happy for you
MeTaLLiCa479: i built one to pull down girl's pants
MeTaLLiCa479: it's rad
Saltythepocket: rad?
MeTaLLiCa479: we can put it on saved by the bell
MeTaLLiCa479: slater would dig that shit
MeTaLLiCa479: is he in the band too
MeTaLLiCa479: yeah man
MeTaLLiCa479: your band is fucking great
MeTaLLiCa479: are you touring?
Saltythepocket: i think this conversation is over
MeTaLLiCa479: are you?
Saltythepocket: you have been more than disrespectful
MeTaLLiCa479: have i?
MeTaLLiCa479: look man, i need a freind
Saltythepocket: indeed
Saltythepocket: and spelling lessons
MeTaLLiCa479: i before e except c or your fucking gay band
MeTaLLiCa479: you guiysd suck
MeTaLLiCa479: i was just schmoozing you
Saltythepocket: as i expected... bipolar
MeTaLLiCa479: but you and your gay band are fucking shitty and should be wiped out
Saltythepocket: ok
Saltythepocket: thanks
MeTaLLiCa479: break up
Saltythepocket: bye
MeTaLLiCa479: i'm bi polar, and you are bi
MeTaLLiCa479: does your girlfreind know about you and screech
MeTaLLiCa479: fucking
MeTaLLiCa479: with mr. belding
MeTaLLiCa479: threesome
MeTaLLiCa479: wit belding
MeTaLLiCa479: rad
MeTaLLiCa479: you area ghoul, sir
MeTaLLiCa479: you fucking mermaid
MeTaLLiCa479: bitch
Saltythepocket signed off at 4:24:16 PM




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cm2o281Kqp6231Ap: fag
SCREECH------>Saltythepocket: gee thanks
Saltythepocket: i waited all day for that
cm2o281Kqp6231Ap: good
Saltythepocket: do you know who i am?
Saltythepocket: i think you have me confused with someone
cm2o281Kqp6231Ap: you're screech
Saltythepocket: uh sorry...no
cm2o281Kqp6231Ap: you know screech then
Saltythepocket: this is a band account
Saltythepocket: and he doesnt use this screen name
Saltythepocket: i do
Saltythepocket: he is my bass player
cm2o281Kqp6231Ap: yeah well tell him i said sup screech
Saltythepocket: how about fuck you and get a life
Saltythepocket: asshole
cm2o281Kqp6231Ap: wow that's pretty hostile
Saltythepocket: learn how to talk to people nicely
Saltythepocket: see
Saltythepocket: how do you like it?
cm2o281Kqp6231Ap: well that last sentence wasn't very nice
Saltythepocket: fag
cm2o281Kqp6231Ap: wow
Saltythepocket: i dont give a shit
cm2o281Kqp6231Ap: again with the hurtness
Saltythepocket: you are an asshole
cm2o281Kqp6231Ap: oh my god
Saltythepocket: bye
cm2o281Kqp6231Ap: my feelings are crushed
cm2o281Kqp6231Ap: AAHhhhhhhhhhhhhh my goddamn heart!!
cm2o281Kqp6231Ap: fag
Saltythepocket signed off at 12:43:16 AM.



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ROBO FOX--->Draco114: hi
SCREECH ---> Saltythepocket: hi
Draco114: is this "the" dustin diamond
Saltythepocket: sorry...dustin is in NY
Draco114: who is this?
Saltythepocket: drummer
Saltythepocket: evan
Saltythepocket: and you are?
Draco114: what is dustin's screen name?
Saltythepocket: you really think i am going to give it to you?
Draco114: why not man, im a fan of the band
Draco114: you guys friggin rule
Saltythepocket: thank you
Saltythepocket: but thats private info
Saltythepocket: i am certain you understand
Draco114: no way man, he wont mind
Saltythepocket: ok...here it is
Saltythepocket: but dont tell anyone
Draco114: k
Saltythepocket: iamajackass.com
Draco114: thats his screename?
Draco114: cant have periods in a screen name dude
Saltythepocket: got to go
Draco114: bye
Draco114: hey i thought you were leavin man
Draco114: whats the deal with your bands name though
Draco114: i mean you guys throw down, but your name is a lil gay i think
Saltythepocket: im busy dude
Draco114: did i say gay?
Saltythepocket: i think you did
Draco114: yes i did
Draco114: and i meant it too
Draco114: gay as hell
Draco114: mind if i through a few suggestions?
Saltythepocket: yes
Draco114: k cool
Draco114: maybe something like
Draco114: Screech The Pocket
Saltythepocket: yes i mind
Draco114: or
Draco114: Saved by the Salty
Draco114: or
Saltythepocket: you are dumb arent you?
Draco114: Slater is the only person from saved by the bell with any chance at a real career
Draco114: that last one is good
Draco114: dumb enough to know how to speak the english language correctly, (arent you)
Draco114: thats like ...dumb are not you
Draco114: not even close dude
Draco114: thats gay as hell
Saltythepocket signed off at 9:43PM.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saltythepocket: we are in a band together
artificialZine: really
Saltythepocket: i dont work for him, no
artificialZine: is he a cool guy to hang out with
artificialZine: or is he in the band just to get some extra kids out to your shows
Saltythepocket: hes a funny guy
Saltythepocket: whos this?
Saltythepocket: and how did you hear about the band?
artificialZine: just a random kid who saw your mp3.com site
artificialZine: from vh1 i think
Saltythepocket: hi random kid
artificialZine: is this jack
Saltythepocket: no
Saltythepocket: how do you know jack?
artificialZine: i think one of my friends talked to him online before
artificialZine: so are you in this for fun to make it big or both
Saltythepocket: where do you live?
artificialZine: jersey
Saltythepocket: im in it for the chicks
Saltythepocket: jersey is a shit hole
artificialZine: has it worked
Saltythepocket: yea..i have 2 naked chicks in my room right now
artificialZine: nah, im from SOUTH jersey, its nice down here
artificialZine: liar
Saltythepocket: its all the same smelly hole...when i lives in NY i could smell it from there
Saltythepocket: jersey is a dump
artificialZine: have you ever even seen two chicks naked at the same time?
Saltythepocket: if you were smart you would move out
Saltythepocket: ive seen 4
artificialZine: yeah, but strip clubs dont count man
Saltythepocket: sorry pal...i live a good life
Saltythepocket: i dont need strip clubs
artificialZine: sure...
Saltythepocket signed off at 10:20PM.

My "Remember When..." Queer Fantasies - Part IV

Here are some of my "Remember When..." queer fantasies involving Diamond and the rest of the Saved By The Bell gang:

"Belding's Fart 'Gift' to Diamond" recap
Posted: Feb 3 2009, 09:27 AM

Diamond, do you remember that episode of Saved By The Bell when you turned 18? Remember how all of your "friends" forgot about your birthday? Remember when your mom and Kevin the Robot also forgot? Remember how sad and neglected that made you feel? Remember when you ran like a little girl to Belding's office and he hugged you? Remember how Belding said he had a gift for you? Remember when he threw you onto his sofa and then dropped his pants and ripped a wet fart directly into your mouth? Remember when you coughed? Remember how mad that made Belding? Remember when Belding said, "Diamond, how dare you waste my fart, you ZUBAZ-WEARING JEW COCKSUCKER!!! I intentionally ate at Taco Bell today to give you my thoughtful gift and you wasted it by coughing it out of your mouth and lungs. You should savor farts from the Big Bopper!!!" Remember when Belding kicked you in the junk and stomped on your head? Remember when he fired his HIV+ seed up your ass to teach you a lesson? You sure had a shitty birthday that time!!!



"Diamond Visits a Campground" recap
Posted: Feb 2 2009, 07:36 AM

Diamond, do you remember that episode when you broke into that KOA campground and installed a hammock in the outhouse with the ends of the hammock tied up near the floor of the outhouse, but above the piss level? Remember how you did this so that you could listen and smell people going to the bathroom up close? Remember how you would jerk off while random dudes took dumps right in front of you? Remember when you tried to climb out one day and accidentally broke your hammock and fell into the 5-foot deep pool of piss and shit? Remember when you screamed for help and some Boy Scouts came running? Remember when you begged for help and they recognized you as Screech from Saved By The Bell? Remember when they told you that you sucked on that show and then peed down onto you? Remember when you yelled out, "Zoinks!!! Help me you little jerks!!!" Remember when the scouts grabbed some rocks and fired them down onto you? Remember when they threw a couple squirrels down onto you? Remember how the squirrels were rabid and quickly bit you? Remember when the scout master walked in and asked what the commotion was? Remember how the scout master was none other than JM J Bullock who had won a court case to be the first openly gay scout master? Remember how JM J Bullock only joined the scouts so that he could molest kids? Remember how JM J Bullock began jerking off and shot a wad of his HIV+ cum down onto you? Remember how his seed dripped down onto the open wounds caused by the squirrels? Remember when you contracted AIDS and everyone started laughing? Remember when you started yelling for help and JM J Bullock got mad and locked the outhouse door and put an "out of order" sign on the front door? Remember when you were only discovered a few days later by the KOA manager? Remember how you almost died? Remember when the KOA manager charged you rent for the days you stayed down in the outhouse? You really got screwed over that time!



"Diamond Learns About the Animal Kingdom" recap
Posted: Jan 21 2009, 08:54 AM

Diamond, do you remember that episode where you broke into the Bayside science lab on a Saturday night to get to the class gerbils? Remember when you took the brown gerbil named "Petey" and stuck it up for ass for anal pleasure? Remember how Belding happened to be at Bayside that evening and heard you breaking in? Remember how he was at Bayside because he wanted to jerk off onto the singlets for the boys wrestling team? Remember when he saw what you did to Petey and slugged you in the gut, causing you to fart out Petey? Remember when he said, "Hey Diamond, so you want to stick animals up your ass? Well, let's kick it up a notch!" Remember when Belding drove you to your home and grabbed a sleepy Hound Dog and forcefully inserted Hound Dog into your ass and said, "How does that feel, FAGGOT?" Remember how uncomfortable it made you feel? Remember how Hound Dog got stuck up your ass and took a shit in there and also barfed? Remember how Hound Dog survived for several hours by eating the semen that had been deposited in your ass by several random dudes? Remember when Hound Dog eventually suffocated and died? Remember when you mom on the show, Mrs. Powers, found out that Hound Dog had died and blamed you? Remember how she was really upset because she had recently taught Hound Dog how to lick her pussy and was looking forward to receiving some pleasure from Hound Dog? Remember when Mrs. Powers bought a new dog and made you train it to lick her cooch and ass? Remember when you tried to trick the new dog into licking your cock, but the new dog got mad and bit off your cock? You sure learned not to mess with the animal kingdom in that episode!



"Diamond Learns About Belding's Fat Folds" recap
Posted: Jan 20 2009, 09:00 PM

Diamond, do you remember that episode where you sucked off Belding and then he fell asleep on your couch? Remember how obese he was and he had many folds on fat in his gut? Remember how horny you were after servicing Belding's penis and ass needs for the previous two hours, while he refused to give any pleasure to your zoinker? Remember when you lifted Belding's skin-tight XXX-L shirt and inserted your cock in between a couple of his fat folds and then started thrusting back and forth? Remember when you felt and intense pain and then pulled out your zoinker and ran into the bathroom crying like a bitch? Remember how the pain was caused by getting battery acid in the hole and the end of your tiny cock? Remember how Belding had lost his TV remote in his fat folds weeks earlier and the batteries had been leaking the acid that burned your cock? Belding's obesity really got you good that time!



"Belding Teaches Diamond To Be A Good Bitch" recap
Posted: Jan 14 2009, 09:42 AM

Diamond, remember those long make-out sessions you used to have with Mr. Belding in the Bayside Principal's office after school? Remember when Belding would blow several loads of his diseased cum into your mouth, ass, and onto your jew-fro? Remember that time when he shot his third load and you asked him to touch your baby cock? Remember when Belding got mad and said that you were his "bitch," and that you should learn to control your urges around him? Remember when Belding broke his keyboard over your head for daring to ask him to give you sexual pleasure? Belding really gave you blue balls that time!



"Bayside Wins the State Championship" recap
Posted: Dec 30 2008, 07:01 AM

Diamond, do you remember that episode where Bayside was playing against Valley High in state title game of the California state football tournament? Remember how the star quarterback was AC Slater and the star running back was Ox? Remember how Rod Belding was the starting wide receiver because he forged his birth certificate? Remember when Slater threw two quick touchdowns to give Bayside a 14-7 lead in the first quarter? Remember when you jerked off Mr. Belding to give the team good luck? Remember when Valley scored a touchdown to even the score and it remained tied in the fourth quarter with mere seconds to play? Remember when Slater threw a last-second touchdown pass to Rod Belding to win the championship? Remember how everyone in the stands erupted in cheers? Remember when Zack Morris dumped a bucket of Gatorade over Coach Rizzo to celebrate the victory? Remember when Slater, Rod Belding, and Zack's dad came up behind you and dumped a Port-A-Potty filled with piss and shit right on top of your head? Remember how much piss and diarrhea your jew-fro absorbed? Remember when you looked up and saw an instant replay on the big scoreboard of the Port-A-Potty being dumped on you? Remember how everyone in the stands was laughing and masturbating at the scene of your humiliation? Remember when you saw the Kelly and your mom on the show were dyking out while walking you crying? Remember when you noticed that the goalpost was wobbling and looked over and saw that Tuttle was perched on top with his pants down around his ankles and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember when the goalpost completely tipped over and Tuttle landed on a chain-link fence surrounding the field? Remember when when Tuttle broke several ribs on the fence, yet continued to jerk off? Remember when Mr. Dewey and Mylo the janitor started sodomizing you and ass-raping you in front of the crowd? Remember when your anal tears from that attack were so bad that you had to wear a diaper for the next two months? You sure got screwed over that time!



"Belding Teaches Diamond About Respect" recap
Posted: Dec 17 2008, 10:09 AM

Diamond, do you remember the episode from the New Class where you were Belding's assistant and you asked him whatever happened to his niece, Penny Belding? Remember when Mr. Belding replied nonchalantly, "Oh, I made her up." Remember when you responded that she did exist and that you took her to a dance at the Max in a prior episode? Remember when Belding got really mad and yelled, "HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME, YOU HOOK-NOSED ZUBAZ-WEARING COCKSUCKING RIM GOBLIN!!!!!!" Remember when Belding pulled out the Rambo knife he kept in his desk and then stabbed you in the stomach, causing massive internal injuries? Remember when Belding inserted his cock in the wound and had sex with your punctured abdomen? Remember how his cock rubbed up against your liver? Remember when he shot a load of HIV+ cum into your lungs and stomach? You sure learned to respect your elders in that episode!



"Diamond Learns the Spirit of Thanksgiving" recap
Posted: Nov 26 2008, 10:05 AM

Diamond, remember that episode where Belding invited you over to his house for a Thanksgiving dinner with Slater, Zack, and Ox? Remember when you arrived at Belding's house and asked where Mrs. Belding was? Remember when Belding replied nonchalantly that he "made her up"? Remember how you had previously asked the same question in Dner's previous Thanksgiving episode, but apparently forgot about it? Remember when Belding started the meal with some salad because Belding said that the main course was still cooking? Remember how Belding served a house salad? Remember when you asked Belding to pass you some cottage cheese for your salad? Remember when Belding said he didn't have any? Remember when you started whining like a little bitch and said, "Zoinks! Mr. B, how am I supposed to eat my salad without cottage cheese??" Remember how mad you were making Mr. Belding? Remember when Belding stood up and said, "That's enough, Diamond! You want some cottage cheese? Here it comes, you HOOK-NOSED RIM GOBLIN!!" Remember when Belding dropped his polyester pants with the 54-inch waist, revealing his cellulite-ridden pasty and chunky legs? Remember when Belding said, "You little Jewish faggot, I have cottage cheese thighs and now you're gonna get some!" Remember when Slater grabbed you from behind and knocked you out of your chair and onto the floor? Remmeber when Belding sat on your face and farted in your mouth while Slater tore away your Zubaz and began ass-slamming you? Remember when Belding ripped several wet farts in your face and made you toss his salad? Remember when you experience horrible pain for the next several minutes until the timer in the kitchen dinged? Remember when Belding got up and said, "the main course is done!" and ran into the kitchen? Remember when he walked out with a cooked animal on a platter? Remember when you looked up and saw that instead of cooking a turkey, Belding had instead cooked your pet dog, Hound Dog, as Rocco previously mentioned? Remember when Belding force-fed Hound Dog's cooked hind legs to you? Remember how Hound Dog tasted like chicken? Remember when Slater picked up the platter and started cracking you over the head with it? Remember when a grandfather clock behind the dining room table started wobbling and you looked over and saw Mr. Tuttle perched on top of it with his pants down around his ankles? Remember how Tuttle was masturbating furiously? Remember when the grandfather clock tipped over and Tuttle took a header into the solid wood dining room table, smashing his chin and causing blood to gush everywhere? Remember how Tuttle kept jerking off until he blew his load and then immediately passed out from the blood loss? Remember when you spent the next few weeks in the hospital recovering from all of your Thanksgiving Day injuries? Remember when you arrived back at home and discovered that your mom had bought you a new dog, a Great Dane, to replace Hound Dog? Remember when you found out that the Great Dane was a horny and gay dog? Remember how the Great Dane would rape you every night when you were trying to sleep? You sure learned about the spirit of Thanksgiving in the episode!



"Bayside's Toilet Paper Shortage" episode recap
Posted: Nov 12 2008, 07:09 AM

Diamond, do you remember that episode where Belding stole Bayside's budget for bathroom supplies and spent it on Hostess Ding Dongs and HoHo's for himself? Remember when, as a result, Bayside ran out of toilet paper? Remember when Belding broke into your locker and everyone, after taking a shit, wiped their asses clean with the possessions in your locker? Remember when Slater wiped his ass clean with your Zubaz gym shorts? Remember when Kelly wiped her ass clean with your pink "Members-Only" jacket? Remember when Maxwell Nerdstrom wiped his ass with your Converse Hi-Tops and Jessie wiped her ass with your Trapper Keeper? Remember when Belding wiped his ass clean with your peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Remember when Zack wiped his ass clean with the Oreo cookies that you were going to eat for lunch that day? Remember when Mr. Dewey scraped shit off his asshole with your Hi-C fruit juice box? Remember when Mylo the janitor wiped his ass with the lock on your locker? The Bayside gang really "shit" on you that time!



"Diamond LEarns About the Insect Kingdom" recap
Posted: Oct 28 2008, 09:44 AM

Diamond, do you remember that episode where there was a fly in Belding's office that kept annoying him? Remember how Belding didn't have any bug spray, so he took a shit in the corner of his office to keep the fly off his desk? Remember how the fly immediately fly over to Belding's meaty turd and started walking on it and eating part of the turd? Remember when Belding grabbed the fly with a tissue and then stuffed it into a 16-oz bottle of Coke and then gave you the bottle of Coke to drink? Remember how you sucked down the Coke without even noticing the fly inside? Remember when you sucked down the last drop and then said, "Thanks, Chief. AAAHHHH! That really hit the spot! Zoinks!" Remember when Belding punched you in the gut and then sodomized you with the Coke bottle and then took a shit on your jew-fro? Remember when you developed a serious staph infection from all of the dangerous diseases that were on the fly you ingested? Belding sure taught you about the insect kingdom that time!



"Diamond Goes to Gym Class" episode recap
Posted: Oct 23 2008, 08:27 AM

Diamond, do you remember that episode where Belding was measuring everyone's cock in the Bayside showers before gym class? Remember how he need a yardstick to measure Slater's cock, but only needed a tiny ruler to measure your baby dick? Remember how everyone laughed at how small your cock was, including Mr. Dewey who was showering naked with everyone for some unknown reason? Remember how the second smallest cock in the class belonged to Maxwell Nerdstrom, and it was 9 inches long? Remember how you measured up at a mere 1/4 of an inch? Remember how everyone started laughing at you and calling you a fag and then pelted you with bars of soap in the shower? Remember when Mylo the Janitor rolled a cart full of towels into the showers and everyone started whipping you with wet towels? Remember when Ox whipped you right in your microscopic nuts with a wet towel, causing you to utter, "Zoinks!" Remember when Slater said he needed to drain his balls and then bent you over? Remember how his cock was much bigger than your tiny butthole? Remember when Slater rectified the problem by lubing you up with a bar of soap? Remember when he shoved the entire bar up your ass and then started raping you while hi-fiving Belding and Mylo? Remember how Zack's dad was also showering naked with your class for some reason and sprayed diarrhea on your bird chest? Remember when you saw that a cart in which dirty jock straps from football practice were stored was rocking back and forth? Remember when the cart tipped over and Mr. Tuttle rolled out and was masturbating vigorously while his pants were down around his ankles and a sweaty jock strap was stuck on his head? Remember when you kept yelling, "Zoinks!!! Zoinks!!!" over and over again throughout your ideal? Remember how mad that made Peter Engel, as you were breaking his concentration while he was trying to jerk off? Remember when Peter Engel walked over and started kicking you in the ribs with his wingtip dress shoes? Remember how everyone except for you was having a great time during this attack? Remember when everyone finally stopped beating and sodomizing you after 15 minutes? Remember when everyone got dressed and left you for dead in the showers? Remember when you caught "athlete's foot" from the dirty showers? The Bayside gang sure got you good that time!



"Diamond Plays Kickball" episode recap
Posted: Oct 15 2008, 10:11 PM

Diamond, remember that time when you and the gang were playing kickball during gym class? Remember how Slater was on your team? Remember how Slater wore bike shorts during gym class and would kick the ball really far? Remember how you would stare at the bulge in his shorts when he rounded the bases? Remember how much you sucked at kickball? Remember how you would clumsily knock the kickball with your knee, instead of your foot, and would often get thrown out? Remember when everyone call Slater the "spark plug" of the team and you the "butt plug" of the team? Remember when Coach Sonski got mad at you for sucking so badly at kickball and raped you in front of the entire class while the students in the class jerked off? Remember when you were on the ground being ass-slammed and you looked up and saw Mr. Tuttle swinging from the rope hanging from the ceiling? Remember how his pants were down around his ankles and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember how he was jerking off so intensely that he accidentally loosened his grip on the rope and went flying off into the electronic scoreboard? Remember when his morbidly obese body shattered various light bulbs on the scoreboard and then he collapsed 20 feet down onto the hardwood floor below onto a sea of glass shards? Remember how profusely he was bleeding? Remember how he kept jerking off until he blew his load and then passed out from massive blood loss? Remember when Coach Sonski rubbed you in Tuttle's blood puddle and you contracted many dangerous STDs, including HIV? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!

My "Remember When..." Queer Fantasies - Part III

Here are some of my "Remember When..." queer fantasies involving Diamond and the rest of the Saved By The Bell gang:

"Diamond Learns About Politics" episode recap
Posted: Oct 8 2008, 06:20 AM

Diamond, remember when Saved By The Bell: The New Class was canceled in the spring of 2000 and you decided to campaign for your beloved hero Al Gore? Remember how Al Gore was an extreme environmentalist and was trying to devise more efficient ways for fighting fires, as he thought that the use of fire hoses was a waste of water? Remember when he stayed up all night in his basement watching SBTB reruns, masturbating, and jotting downs notes? Remember when he emerged the next morning from his basement as though he were a mad scientist? Remember when he said that he would fight fires by spraying diarrhea, instead of water, directly on such fires to douse the flames? Remember when he convinced you that helping him perfect a diarrhea fire-fighting method would be environmentally safe and that it would be your patriotic duty to help him? Remember how you stayed with him all summer and he would perform experiments daily where he would light your jew-fro on fire and they spray diarrhea on you? Remember how his diarrhea sprays weren't very effective and often failed to douse the flames? Remember how you permanently damaged some of your hair follicles and had to grow your jew-fro long to hide the bald patches? Remember when he thanked you at the end of the summer and told you that he would thank you in one of the debates? Remember how Al Gore pulled a fast one on you and was never, in fact, testing an environmentally safe new diarrhea fire fighting method? Remember when you later found out that he was a pervert into scatplay and that his wife, Tipper, wasn't hip to the diarrhea scene? You sure learned about politics that time!



"Diamond Learns about Physics" episode recap
Posted: Oct 1 2008, 07:27 AM

Diamond, remember that time that Mr. Tuttle was jerking off extremely vigorously while Belding was ass-slamming you in the Teacher's Lounge at Bayside? Remember when a load flew into your eye from out of nowhere and you couldn't figure out where it came from, as Tuttle had not yet climaxed? Remember how he was moving his hand so rapidly that it looked like a blur? Remember how he was moving his hand faster than the speed of light and when he blew his load it exited his cock so quickly that it went back in time? Remember when you realized that Tuttle's load was what had landed in your eye minutes earlier? Remember when Belding finished ass-raping you and then you put on a diaper to absorb the cum and blood dripping from your gaping asshole? Remember when you headed over to the computer lab? Remember how Tuttle's semen had violated Einstein's Theory of Relativity and you typed up a paper to submit to the American Journal of Physics? Remember when you finished the paper and asked Belding to mail it? Remember when Belding revised your paper and replaced your name with his own to make it appear as though he was the author? Remember when Belding won the Nobel Prize for your paper? Remember hos mad that made you? Remember when Belding invited you over to his house because he said that he "wanted to share the Nobel Prize" with you? Remember when you showed up at his house and he punched you in the balls and then sodomized you with the Nobel Prize? Remember when he yelled out, "Hey Diamond, are you enjoying the Nobel Prize now, bitch!!!" You sure learned a lot about physics in that episode!



"Kevin Teaches Diamond About Oil Changes" recap
Posted: Sep 24 2008, 08:34 PM

Diamond, remember that episode where you decided to get a tan? Remember how you hoped that a bronze color would excite Mr. Belding, your experienced gay lover? Remember how on a hot summer day you laid out on a chair in your backyard? Remember how you were wearing a pink Speedo? Remember how you took off the pink Speedo because you didn't want to get any tan lines? Remember how you were lying naked? Remember how you tanned your tiny cock, in full view of the neighbors? Remember how you had told Kevin the Robot that you were going to change the oil in his gears that day? Remember how you forgot to change his oil while you were laying outside? Remember when Kevin the Robot rolled past a window in your room and saw you laying naked outside? Remember how mad that made Kevin that you had neglected his fresh oil needs? Remember when Kevin rolled down the stairs and then outside? Remember how you had fallen asleep while tanning on the chair? Remember when Kevin shot an oilly load onto your baby cock and then held a magnifying glass near it? Remember how the magnifying glass concentrated the hot rays of light from the sun, causing your zoinker to quickly become unbearably hot? Remember when the oil on your beanbag caught fire and smoke from your burning cock filled the air? Remember when you woke up and yelled, "Zoinks!!!" Remember when you tried to run over to the garden hose to spray water on your crotch? Remember when Kevin extended his robotic arm and clotheslined you, sending you sprawling onto the ground? Remember when Kevin grabbed your bony butt and inserted his robotic cock into your butthole? Remember when Kevin pounded away at your butthole for several minutes until blowing his oilly robotic load up your butt? Remember when Kevin rolled away and said, "BZZT!! Thanks for draining my oil, Diamond! BZZT!!" You sure learned about oil changes in that episode!



"Belding Makes Lunch for Diamond" episode recap
Posted: Sep 18 2008, 07:29 AM

Diamond, remember that time when you were in the Bayside library studying for your SAT exam? Remember when Mr. Belding walked in and gave you a tender hug and some encouragement? Remember when he asked you if you would like a "penis butter and jelly sandwich"? Remember how you thought he said "peanut butter and jelly" and you quickly agreed? Remember when Belding went into the Bayside kitchen and farted on a loaf of wheat bread and stuck his massive cock in a jar of jelly and then spread the jelly onto a piece of wheat bread? Remember when he opened a Bayside yearbook he had stolen from your locker and started jerking off to pictures of AC Slater in his wrestling singlet? Remember how Belding used the jelly as lubricant while tossing off? Remember when Belding climaxed and blew a huge load onto another piece of bread and then placed that piece on top of the piece with the jelly? Remember when Belding placed the sandwich on a plastic plate and brought it to the library? Remember when Belding handed the sandwich and you quickly gobbled it down? Remember when you said, "Zoinks, Mr. B, where was the peanut butter on that sandwich??" Remember when Belding replied, "Yeah." Remember when you dropped some crumbs onto the floor and Belding got mad and sent you to detention for littering? Remember when Belding and Mylo raped you in detention while Kelly and Jessie dyked out with each other while listening to your cries for help? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!



"Diamond Learns About Health Insurance" recap
Posted: Sep 15 2008, 07:53 PM

Diamond, remember that time you were getting your physical at Bayside during the beginning of your senior year? Remember when the doctor asked to stick out your tongue and say "aahhh"? Remember when you did this and the doctor was disgusted by your stank breath? Remember when the doctor said, "Damn! You have cum breath, you nasty hook nosed rim goblin!!!" Remember when the doctor failed you on your physical and wrote on your medical forms that you have "cum breath"? Remember when the doctor reported his findings to your mother's insurance company, causing her health insurance premiums to increase by 15%? Remember how mad that made your mom on the show? Remember when your mom invited Slater and Belding over to your house to teach you a lesson? Remember when they handcuffed you to your mom's bed and started ass fucking Mrs. Powers? Remember when they each pulled out of Mrs. Powers' ass and then blew their loads into your mouth, giving you and even worse case of cum breath? You sure learned about the importance of good health insurance in that episode!



"Belding Teaches Diamond About Respect" recap
Posted: Sep 10 2008, 05:42 AM

Diamond, do you remember that time you were in Belding's office eating lunch and he walked in and farted about a foot from your head? Remember when you yelled out, "Zoinks, Mr. B! That fart smells really bad!" Remember how mad that made Belding? Remember when Belding yelled, "Dammit Diamond, my farts are an expression of my love for you. How dare you insult me, you HOOK-NOSED RIM GOLBIN!!!" Remember when Belding decided to teach you a lesson and picked up his school intercom microphone and smacking you in the face with it? Remember when Belding accidentally turned the microphone on, braodcasting your cries of pain through the entire school? Remember when Belding yanked off your Zubaz and started violently shoved the microphone in and out of your ass? Remember when someone knocked on Belding's door and you thought that whomever was at the door would help you and end your suffering? Remember when when you quickly realized that no help was coming when Zack Morris opened the door and you saw that he was masturbating while listening to your screams of pain? Remember how you also saw Ox, Mr. Dewey, Slater, Rod Belding, Maxwell Nerdstrom, Coach Sonski, and Coach Rizzo in the hallway? Remember how they were all jerking off? Remember when you heard a honking sound coming from the hallway and heard what sounded like a car accelerating? Remember when you thought that the police were coming to rescue you? Remember how dismayed you were when you realized that the sound was from Mr. Tuttle, who was in the Driver's Ed golf cart? Remember how his pants were down around his ankles and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember how his 54-inch waist polyester pants got tangled around the accelerator and the golf cart was accelerating through the hallway? Remember when the golf cart careened into the doorway to Belding's office and got stuck, causing a loud noise? Remember when Tuttle was ejected from the golf cart and flew ten feet across Belding's office? Remember when Tuttle landed on Belding's trophy case and was impaled on Belding's "Principal of the Year" trophy? Remember how blood was gushing from the hole in his abdomen where he landed on the trophy? Remember how, despite being in severe pain and suffering massive blood loss, Tuttle kept jerking off vigorously? Remember how Tuttle moved his hand so fast up and down his cock that all that was visible was a big blur? Remember when Tuttle shot a massive load and then passed out and died? You really learned to show Belding some respect in that episode!



"Diamond Learns a Lesson at the Arcade" recap
Posted: Sep 5 2008, 08:57 AM

Diamond, do you remember when you finished filming the "Dance Contest" episode and then everyone went over to eat at the Chucky Cheese near the NBC studios lot? Remember how the actors from "Too Close For Comfort" were having a pizza party reunion to celebrate Ted Knight's birthday? Remember when you tried to cut in front of JM J Bullock at the Donkey Kong Jr. arcade machine, making him really mad? Remember when JM J Bullock grabbed you by the Jew-fro and threw you into the men's room and raped you? Remember when you caught his deadly strain of HIV? Remember how Ted Knight and Mr. Tuttle were having a swordfight in one of the bathroom stalls when you and JM J Bullock entered the bathroom and then stopped and started jerking off when they heard your screams for help? You sure learned to wait your turn at the arcade games that time!



"Belding Cooks Dinner for Diamond" recap
Posted: Sep 3 2008, 06:58 AM

Diamond, remember that time when Belding invited you over for a chicken dinner? Remember when he only cooked the chicken for five minutes and fed it to you? Remember how it was still pink and rubbery on the inside? Remember when you immediately got sick and caught salmonella and immediately started throwing up and going diarrhea in your Zubaz? Remember how hard Belding was laughing and he said that he intentionally undercooked the chicken in order to give you the potentially deadly disease commonly contained in uncooked chicken carcasses? Remember how Belding started raping you and you went diarrhea on his cock? Remember how mad that made Belding and he made you lick your diarrhea off his herpes-encrusted cock? Remember when Belding said, "Dammit Diamond! You got diarrhea all over my floor, you HOOK-NOSED RIM GOBLIN!!!" Remember when Belding turned you upside down and mopped up your diarrhea with your poofy jew-fro? Belding really gave you a lesson about cooking in that episode!



"Diamond's Cocktail" episode recap
Posted: Aug 22 2008, 06:50 PM

Diamond, do you remember that episode where you attended Zack's wedding to Kelly? Remember when you went up to the bar and Jessie Spano was ordering a cocktail? Remember how you started crying because you thought about the fact that the only cocktail you've ever had is the AIDS drug cocktail you have to take every day to fight off the onslaught of the HIV virus? Remember when Zack saw you crying and got mad at you for trying to ruin his wedding? Remember when Belding raped you and gave you a strain of super-AIDS in his tainted semen? You really got what you deserved that time!

My "Remember When..." Queer Fantasies - Part II

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