"Diamond Learns About Politics" episode recap
Posted: Oct 8 2008, 06:20 AM
Diamond, remember when Saved By The Bell: The New Class was canceled in the spring of 2000 and you decided to campaign for your beloved hero Al Gore? Remember how Al Gore was an extreme environmentalist and was trying to devise more efficient ways for fighting fires, as he thought that the use of fire hoses was a waste of water? Remember when he stayed up all night in his basement watching SBTB reruns, masturbating, and jotting downs notes? Remember when he emerged the next morning from his basement as though he were a mad scientist? Remember when he said that he would fight fires by spraying diarrhea, instead of water, directly on such fires to douse the flames? Remember when he convinced you that helping him perfect a diarrhea fire-fighting method would be environmentally safe and that it would be your patriotic duty to help him? Remember how you stayed with him all summer and he would perform experiments daily where he would light your jew-fro on fire and they spray diarrhea on you? Remember how his diarrhea sprays weren't very effective and often failed to douse the flames? Remember how you permanently damaged some of your hair follicles and had to grow your jew-fro long to hide the bald patches? Remember when he thanked you at the end of the summer and told you that he would thank you in one of the debates? Remember how Al Gore pulled a fast one on you and was never, in fact, testing an environmentally safe new diarrhea fire fighting method? Remember when you later found out that he was a pervert into scatplay and that his wife, Tipper, wasn't hip to the diarrhea scene? You sure learned about politics that time!
"Diamond Learns about Physics" episode recap
Posted: Oct 1 2008, 07:27 AM
Diamond, remember that time that Mr. Tuttle was jerking off extremely vigorously while Belding was ass-slamming you in the Teacher's Lounge at Bayside? Remember when a load flew into your eye from out of nowhere and you couldn't figure out where it came from, as Tuttle had not yet climaxed? Remember how he was moving his hand so rapidly that it looked like a blur? Remember how he was moving his hand faster than the speed of light and when he blew his load it exited his cock so quickly that it went back in time? Remember when you realized that Tuttle's load was what had landed in your eye minutes earlier? Remember when Belding finished ass-raping you and then you put on a diaper to absorb the cum and blood dripping from your gaping asshole? Remember when you headed over to the computer lab? Remember how Tuttle's semen had violated Einstein's Theory of Relativity and you typed up a paper to submit to the American Journal of Physics? Remember when you finished the paper and asked Belding to mail it? Remember when Belding revised your paper and replaced your name with his own to make it appear as though he was the author? Remember when Belding won the Nobel Prize for your paper? Remember hos mad that made you? Remember when Belding invited you over to his house because he said that he "wanted to share the Nobel Prize" with you? Remember when you showed up at his house and he punched you in the balls and then sodomized you with the Nobel Prize? Remember when he yelled out, "Hey Diamond, are you enjoying the Nobel Prize now, bitch!!!" You sure learned a lot about physics in that episode!
"Kevin Teaches Diamond About Oil Changes" recap
Posted: Sep 24 2008, 08:34 PM
Diamond, remember that episode where you decided to get a tan? Remember how you hoped that a bronze color would excite Mr. Belding, your experienced gay lover? Remember how on a hot summer day you laid out on a chair in your backyard? Remember how you were wearing a pink Speedo? Remember how you took off the pink Speedo because you didn't want to get any tan lines? Remember how you were lying naked? Remember how you tanned your tiny cock, in full view of the neighbors? Remember how you had told Kevin the Robot that you were going to change the oil in his gears that day? Remember how you forgot to change his oil while you were laying outside? Remember when Kevin the Robot rolled past a window in your room and saw you laying naked outside? Remember how mad that made Kevin that you had neglected his fresh oil needs? Remember when Kevin rolled down the stairs and then outside? Remember how you had fallen asleep while tanning on the chair? Remember when Kevin shot an oilly load onto your baby cock and then held a magnifying glass near it? Remember how the magnifying glass concentrated the hot rays of light from the sun, causing your zoinker to quickly become unbearably hot? Remember when the oil on your beanbag caught fire and smoke from your burning cock filled the air? Remember when you woke up and yelled, "Zoinks!!!" Remember when you tried to run over to the garden hose to spray water on your crotch? Remember when Kevin extended his robotic arm and clotheslined you, sending you sprawling onto the ground? Remember when Kevin grabbed your bony butt and inserted his robotic cock into your butthole? Remember when Kevin pounded away at your butthole for several minutes until blowing his oilly robotic load up your butt? Remember when Kevin rolled away and said, "BZZT!! Thanks for draining my oil, Diamond! BZZT!!" You sure learned about oil changes in that episode!
"Belding Makes Lunch for Diamond" episode recap
Posted: Sep 18 2008, 07:29 AM
Diamond, remember that time when you were in the Bayside library studying for your SAT exam? Remember when Mr. Belding walked in and gave you a tender hug and some encouragement? Remember when he asked you if you would like a "penis butter and jelly sandwich"? Remember how you thought he said "peanut butter and jelly" and you quickly agreed? Remember when Belding went into the Bayside kitchen and farted on a loaf of wheat bread and stuck his massive cock in a jar of jelly and then spread the jelly onto a piece of wheat bread? Remember when he opened a Bayside yearbook he had stolen from your locker and started jerking off to pictures of AC Slater in his wrestling singlet? Remember how Belding used the jelly as lubricant while tossing off? Remember when Belding climaxed and blew a huge load onto another piece of bread and then placed that piece on top of the piece with the jelly? Remember when Belding placed the sandwich on a plastic plate and brought it to the library? Remember when Belding handed the sandwich and you quickly gobbled it down? Remember when you said, "Zoinks, Mr. B, where was the peanut butter on that sandwich??" Remember when Belding replied, "Yeah." Remember when you dropped some crumbs onto the floor and Belding got mad and sent you to detention for littering? Remember when Belding and Mylo raped you in detention while Kelly and Jessie dyked out with each other while listening to your cries for help? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!
"Diamond Learns About Health Insurance" recap
Posted: Sep 15 2008, 07:53 PM
Diamond, remember that time you were getting your physical at Bayside during the beginning of your senior year? Remember when the doctor asked to stick out your tongue and say "aahhh"? Remember when you did this and the doctor was disgusted by your stank breath? Remember when the doctor said, "Damn! You have cum breath, you nasty hook nosed rim goblin!!!" Remember when the doctor failed you on your physical and wrote on your medical forms that you have "cum breath"? Remember when the doctor reported his findings to your mother's insurance company, causing her health insurance premiums to increase by 15%? Remember how mad that made your mom on the show? Remember when your mom invited Slater and Belding over to your house to teach you a lesson? Remember when they handcuffed you to your mom's bed and started ass fucking Mrs. Powers? Remember when they each pulled out of Mrs. Powers' ass and then blew their loads into your mouth, giving you and even worse case of cum breath? You sure learned about the importance of good health insurance in that episode!
"Belding Teaches Diamond About Respect" recap
Posted: Sep 10 2008, 05:42 AM
Diamond, do you remember that time you were in Belding's office eating lunch and he walked in and farted about a foot from your head? Remember when you yelled out, "Zoinks, Mr. B! That fart smells really bad!" Remember how mad that made Belding? Remember when Belding yelled, "Dammit Diamond, my farts are an expression of my love for you. How dare you insult me, you HOOK-NOSED RIM GOLBIN!!!" Remember when Belding decided to teach you a lesson and picked up his school intercom microphone and smacking you in the face with it? Remember when Belding accidentally turned the microphone on, braodcasting your cries of pain through the entire school? Remember when Belding yanked off your Zubaz and started violently shoved the microphone in and out of your ass? Remember when someone knocked on Belding's door and you thought that whomever was at the door would help you and end your suffering? Remember when when you quickly realized that no help was coming when Zack Morris opened the door and you saw that he was masturbating while listening to your screams of pain? Remember how you also saw Ox, Mr. Dewey, Slater, Rod Belding, Maxwell Nerdstrom, Coach Sonski, and Coach Rizzo in the hallway? Remember how they were all jerking off? Remember when you heard a honking sound coming from the hallway and heard what sounded like a car accelerating? Remember when you thought that the police were coming to rescue you? Remember how dismayed you were when you realized that the sound was from Mr. Tuttle, who was in the Driver's Ed golf cart? Remember how his pants were down around his ankles and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember how his 54-inch waist polyester pants got tangled around the accelerator and the golf cart was accelerating through the hallway? Remember when the golf cart careened into the doorway to Belding's office and got stuck, causing a loud noise? Remember when Tuttle was ejected from the golf cart and flew ten feet across Belding's office? Remember when Tuttle landed on Belding's trophy case and was impaled on Belding's "Principal of the Year" trophy? Remember how blood was gushing from the hole in his abdomen where he landed on the trophy? Remember how, despite being in severe pain and suffering massive blood loss, Tuttle kept jerking off vigorously? Remember how Tuttle moved his hand so fast up and down his cock that all that was visible was a big blur? Remember when Tuttle shot a massive load and then passed out and died? You really learned to show Belding some respect in that episode!
"Diamond Learns a Lesson at the Arcade" recap
Posted: Sep 5 2008, 08:57 AM
Diamond, do you remember when you finished filming the "Dance Contest" episode and then everyone went over to eat at the Chucky Cheese near the NBC studios lot? Remember how the actors from "Too Close For Comfort" were having a pizza party reunion to celebrate Ted Knight's birthday? Remember when you tried to cut in front of JM J Bullock at the Donkey Kong Jr. arcade machine, making him really mad? Remember when JM J Bullock grabbed you by the Jew-fro and threw you into the men's room and raped you? Remember when you caught his deadly strain of HIV? Remember how Ted Knight and Mr. Tuttle were having a swordfight in one of the bathroom stalls when you and JM J Bullock entered the bathroom and then stopped and started jerking off when they heard your screams for help? You sure learned to wait your turn at the arcade games that time!
"Belding Cooks Dinner for Diamond" recap
Posted: Sep 3 2008, 06:58 AM
Diamond, remember that time when Belding invited you over for a chicken dinner? Remember when he only cooked the chicken for five minutes and fed it to you? Remember how it was still pink and rubbery on the inside? Remember when you immediately got sick and caught salmonella and immediately started throwing up and going diarrhea in your Zubaz? Remember how hard Belding was laughing and he said that he intentionally undercooked the chicken in order to give you the potentially deadly disease commonly contained in uncooked chicken carcasses? Remember how Belding started raping you and you went diarrhea on his cock? Remember how mad that made Belding and he made you lick your diarrhea off his herpes-encrusted cock? Remember when Belding said, "Dammit Diamond! You got diarrhea all over my floor, you HOOK-NOSED RIM GOBLIN!!!" Remember when Belding turned you upside down and mopped up your diarrhea with your poofy jew-fro? Belding really gave you a lesson about cooking in that episode!
"Diamond's Cocktail" episode recap
Posted: Aug 22 2008, 06:50 PM
Diamond, do you remember that episode where you attended Zack's wedding to Kelly? Remember when you went up to the bar and Jessie Spano was ordering a cocktail? Remember how you started crying because you thought about the fact that the only cocktail you've ever had is the AIDS drug cocktail you have to take every day to fight off the onslaught of the HIV virus? Remember when Zack saw you crying and got mad at you for trying to ruin his wedding? Remember when Belding raped you and gave you a strain of super-AIDS in his tainted semen? You really got what you deserved that time!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
My "Remember When..." Queer Fantasies - Part III
Here are some of my "Remember When..." queer fantasies involving Diamond and the rest of the Saved By The Bell gang: