Monday, April 30, 2007

Old posts from DustinDiamond.com (part 15)

18th July 2006 - 01:10:19 AM
78527 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey Diamond, when you go to gay nude beaches, have you ever looked at any of the birds flying about, or are you always fixated on all of the hot STD-riden male asses around you? I personally was at a beach in Key West the other day when I saw a pelican dive into the water to catch a fish - it gave me a filty queer idea!

Those pelicans can scoop up quite a bit of water in their beaks. I would like you to do the same, except with HIV+ semen, not water! Would you mind if a gay man stuck a tire jack in your mouth and then used it to pry your mouth open to a 180 degree angle? Then you can dunk your mouth into a spa filled with semen and shit from a bunch of queer dudes - you get to pretend you are a pelican scooping up seawater. The only difference is that the pelican won't contract the HIV virus from the water, whereas you will from the diseased liquids in the spa! Are you interested????

17th July 2006 - 10:33:57 PM
78524 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, after eating Slater's shit-burger, do you prefer drinking semen or piss to get the little dingleberries down your throat? Please contact me to discuss!

17th July 2006 - 11:55:40 AM
78518 : Kurt
Diamond, I just realized that the guestbook here turned 5 years old yesterday! You must be proud that your fans have been posting here since July 16, 2001. The world has changed since then, but you remain as out icon.

16th July 2006 - 06:36:46 PM
78509 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, why did you stand up Artie Lang? Even though your stand-up routine is total dogshit, he offered you $2000 to 10 minutes of stand-up opening for him, and you didn't even bother to show up! What in the hell were you thinking??? I doubt that Stern would even have you on his show again if you begged him! You lied about your dick and appear to have fabricated 95% of your story about why you need money from former SBTB fans. You need to go get a college degree, learn a useful skill, and work 40 hours/week like the rest of us. Begging for money and then screwing over the people trying to help you is absolutely pathetic! Have you even bothered to ship any of the t-shirt that have been purchased from your website?

14th July 2006 - 05:28:39 PM
78491 : Kurt
Diamond, are you participating in the 2006 Gay Games? http://www.chicago2006.org/ Maybe you should enter yourself in a bicycle race and ride the bicycle naked with the seat removed! Or perhaps you could participate in a nice round of the butt-darts competition!!!

14th July 2006 - 03:24:37 PM
78489 : Kurt
Joey, re-read the article. Diamond clearly writes that he received a letter indicating that he had to pay $250,000 or get out within 30 days. Later on, he says he has "less than 40 days to save his house."

It is true that 30 is less than 40, so maybe the 30 days time frame is what he means by "less than 40 days." If that is what he means, he should probably take a writing class, as he is unable to clearly express his thoughts in writing.

14th July 2006 - 11:33:29 AM
78482 : Kurt
Diamond, I re-read your story at http://www.getdshirts.com/the_story.php .

If you are going to tell a lie, you should at least be consistent with the details. In the secon paragraph, you wrote: "I received a letter stating that I had 30 days to pay $250,000.00 or get out. I was not thrilled."

However, later on you wrote: "At this point I have less than 40 days to save my house and I'm calling out to anyone who will listen. "

So which is it, 30 days or 40 days? I'm pretty sure that you mentioned on Stern that it was 30 days. However, you also said you weren't engaged, but in an article written last year you mentioned a specific date in 2003 on which you became a married man.

Please tell us the truth, Diamond. No more lies!

13th July 2006 - 06:46:54 PM
78476 : Kurt
Hey Diamond, I've been watching episodes of Saved By The Bell: The College Years on a DVD I received from Netflix recently. Those epsiodes totally suck ass, mainly because of you. Remember when Slater and Zack were going to join the "cool" frat and you screwed up everything by accompanying them to the frat party and making balloon animals? What in the hell were you thinking, Diamond? That sounds like the type of moronic thing you would probably do in real life. Thanks for ruining the show. :(

12th July 2006 - 01:11:46 PM
78464 : Kurt
Diamond, you went on the Howard Stern Show on June 13th and said that you were given 30 days to pay off your $250,000 land contract or you would be evicted. You own website http://www.getdshirts.com/the_story.php also lists this 30-day deadline.

According to the Network Solutions registry database, http://www.networksolutions.com/whois , you registered your getdshirts.com domain name of June 6, 2006. June 6 was 36 days ago. Did you get evicted from your house or was your personal story nothing more than a bunch of crap?


12th July 2006 - 12:31:29 AM
78463 : Kurt Steinberg
The comments to this blog need to be queered up:
http://7d.blogs.com/solidstate/2006/07/diamonds_are_fo.html

"Diamonds are Forever.

I'm planning on putting together a full San Francisco update, but for the meantime, dig this:

Brooke and I were hanging out on the docks (no jokes please) when we happened upon a sidewalk sign for some comedy club called the Green Room. Neither of us had actually ever been to such a place, but that's beside the point. What really caught our attention (actually Brooke's) was the picture on the marquee.

"Is that Screech?" she asked, squeezing my arm.

Indeed, it was. Dustin Diamond, star of TV's "Saved by the Bell" was staring back at us from the board. The show, which featured only one opening act, started at 8:30 p.m. At that moment it was around 6. While I was intrigued by the idea of checking out Screech's stand-up, we had some time to kill, and I was getting hungry.

"Let's go get something to eat first, and if we're feeling up to it, maybe we can go see the show," I said. It was agreed.

Dinner was consumed, and margaritas guzzled.

Walking back past the club, we again paused before Diamond's unmistakable visage. I was still on the fence, but Brooke pushed me over it with gusto.

"We have to go see him," she said. "If we don't, we'll end up torturing ourselves wondering what it was like."

She had a point. We weaved through the human detritus to the club entrance, where a gussied-up chick was standing behind some kind of podium. This was the Gatekeeper. Suddenly it dawned on me that this was a real show, where they, like, charge admission.

"What if it's too expensive?" I asked Brooke.

"Should we set a limit?" she replied. We decided on twenty bucks, which turned out to be the ticket price. Kinda steep. But at that moment Screech himself walked by.

"How was your hamburger?" the Gatekeeper inquired, as Screech opened the door with authority.

"It was sooo damn good," he answered, before vanishing into the venue.

"He's really dirty," the Gatekeeper said to us, as if confiding a secret.

OK. We have to see this fucker. Paying the cover, we entered the venue.

Inside, we took our seats at a tiny table near the right side of the stage. We could have sat dead center, but I figured that might be a little too risky. Who knows if Screech will attack?

Comprising the audience was a gaggle of college-age gals, a few thirtysomething couples, and a contingent of older folks positioned on the opposite side as ourselves.

The opening act was about as dull as one might expect. What does it say about your talent if you're warming up for Screech? Twenty bucks was beginning to seem like a real waste of money.

Finally, Dustin took the stage. He immediately launched into a spiel about "Grandma porn," which was neither shocking nor provocative. The lamest part is that he kept anticipating differing reactions from the males and females in the crowd. "You guys know what I'm talking about," he'd say. "But you chicks are, like, ummm...."

Wow. That's almost as funny as noting the differences between how white people and black people dance.

He later told a convoluted tale about an old Jewish woman who happpened to catch one of his performances. Apparently, she enjoyed his rap about geriatric genitals. The story resolved itself in a "punch line" in which the elderly gal lifts up her skirt and yells, "Soup!" Don't ask me what the fuck that means, but he used it as as a "callback" throughout the set.

At that point, a handful of the older folks in the crowd got up and left.

"Where are you going?" Screech asked. "To take a shit?" Still not funny.

Soon we were treated to the revelation that Mark-Paul Gosselaar (who played Zach on SBTB) was in fact, a homosexual. "All I'm sayin' is that Zach loves the cock," Screech said. "Trust the Dust."

And there's another one: "Trust the Dust." What a sorry-ass catchphrase.

It wasn't a total wash, however. Diamond had one really funny bit where he was mistaken for an employee at Wal-Mart by a less than brilliant customer. Said shopper implored him to "get back to the breakroom and put on an apron," which he did. Diamond summarily re-arranged the entire Bay Area store to his likings.

"First things first: I put the Visine next to the Twinkies, where they belong," he said. For proof of his tale, he pulled a Wal-Mart apron from the bag he'd brought onstage. It seemed plausible enough, and showed the lengths to which Screech will go for his "comedy."

Trust the Dust.

At the end of the night, we headed for the restrooms, where a major line had developed due to a suspicious lack of porcelain. One of the employees, a stocky Mexican fella who looked like he'd stepped out of central casting for a spaghetti western, began to chat me up.

"It's great you came in tonight," he said.

"Yeah, it was fun," I replied.

"So what's up with those old people walking out?" He asked me.

"I dunno. I was on the other side of the crowd."

"Well I guess they were Christians."

"Really?"

"Yeah, they came and gave me a hard time about how offended they were."

"Wow."

"Can you believe that?"

"What I can't believe is why older folks who have conservative religious beliefs would even enter a comedy club."

By that point I'd managed to complete my transaction.

"I know, it man. Well, have a good one, buddy."

In Brooke's bathroom line, the ladies expressed indignation at something entirely different. No, it wasn't Diamond's million references to feminine hygiene, or even his "Grandma porn" bit. It was the fact that "Zach" was gay. No one wanted to believe it.

People are sad and ridiculous.

Still, it was a fun night. You gotta admit, Screech is hardly who you'd expect me to go see in San Francisco.

Supposedly Diamond has a TV comedy special coming up. At least that's what he says. And as you've learned, it's all about trust. Anyway, maybe you can catch a glimpse of "The Dust" in action.

POSTSCRIPT: This isn't Dustin Diamond's home page. Apparently, he sued the webmaster. Unsuccessfully.

This is. T the D, kiddies."

12th July 2006 - 12:15:47 AM
78462 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, has anyone ever eaten Mexican food from Chipotle and then given you a face-full of feces? Or is it always Taco Bell-fueled diarrhea? I would think that Slater and Belding would want to mix things up a bit, but I just want to be certain. Please get back to me soon, buddy, as this is an important and serious question!

11th July 2006 - 12:42:47 AM
78445 : Kurt Steinberg
Bri, what's your problem? Look at the colors used in this guestbook. Look at the content of most of the messages. Do you notice a common theme? You should, as this is a QUEERS-ONLY guestbook! Everyone else has figured this out, why can't you? This message board was set of for several purposes, such as to (1) tell Diamond how much he sucks; (2) exchange queer fantasies about Diamond and the rest of the Saved by The Bell gang; and (3) schedule gay sex with Diamond. 97% of the people who come here are looking for hot queer spank material! If you don't want to taebag Diamond and then fire your seed in his jew-fro, you should probably stop posting here. Otherwise, the website administrater will block your IP address from accessing this website!

10th July 2006 - 09:56:54 AM
78429 : Kurt
Diamond, there's an saying that goes - "a fool and his money are soon parted." That definitely applies to you, as you have managed to squander all of your SBTB earnings within a few years. Seriously, do you ever expect to see that kind of cash again during your lifetime? What in the hell was going through your mind as you pissed away dollar after dollar on Beef 'n Cheddars and other crap you don't need? You need to get it together, Screech. Go see a psychiatrist.

09th July 2006 - 03:17:28 PM
78398 : Kurt
Hey Diamond, I found your resume on the Internet. http://www.carrycompany.com/pdf/diamond.pdf It indicates that you are a professional wrestler and that one of your unique skills is that you have a Driver's License. What an awesome resume. Who have you wrestled professionally? Hulk Hogan? Goldberg? I sure as hell don't remember ever hearing about you wrestling anyone.

Also, I'm so impressed that you have a Driver's License. I mean those are so hard to get. Maybe you should have listed some more "special skills" on your resume such as the ability to talk, eat, or walk! With all of those "special skills" listed, I'm sure you'll land all of the big gigs!!!

07th July 2006 - 10:16:51 AM
78344 : Kurt
Nice work, Nerdstrom.

That's awesome that Mr. B admits that his favorite food is the Taco Supreme from Taco Bell. It's easy to believe, seeing as how he must weigh 300+ lbs. He probably has 30 lbs of undigested red meat in his colon. He needs to purge that directly into the jew-fro of a former co-star of his!

07th July 2006 - 08:54:22 AM
78340 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I really want to eat some Taco Bell and then meet up with you behind a gas station. I'd drop trow and then shart right in your face! A shart is where I fart and little chunks of shit are also expelled out of my butthole at the same time!!! You must be getting so turned on thinking about this!!! Let's hook up!

06th July 2006 - 03:05:10 PM
78329 : Kurt
Which one of you is Pat McGroin? Is it Gay Zack? This is pretty funny -
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0020449755/qid=1152216199/

06th July 2006 - 08:41:29 AM
78316 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I thought that jews were supposed to be the masters of personal finance. So why exactly have you blown through all of your money? Has all of the semen that entered through your butthole somehow backed up into your brain, clouding your judgment? What's the deal?

06th July 2006 - 12:09:28 AM
78313 : Kurt Steinberg
Nerdstrom, I would love to drop a big smelly deuce riught in Diamond's mouth!!! As I have mentioned before, one of my queer fantasies involves tying Diamond up and throwing him into a spa with a bunch of queer and horny dudes. I think it would be awesome if the queer dudes pissed, shit, and jizzed in the spa water and then made Diamond drink it!!!! Do you think Diamond would be up for that?

05th July 2006 - 01:33:52 PM
78307 : Kurt
read this article from 2004. Diamond actually refers to himself as a "full-fledged professional comedian"!!!!!!

http://www.jsonline.com/story/?id=245801

Dustin Diamond 'Takes Five'
A self-love that dare not Screech its name
Posted: July 22, 2004
While some of his "Saved by the Bell" co-stars have moved slowly into the syndicated abyss, Dustin Diamond, who played the geeky Screech, has been touring the stand-up comedy circuit and selling instructional chess videos. Even though his middle name is Neil, he's not related to the singer, nor is he related to the Beastie Boys' Mike D. A California native, Diamond, 27, moved to Milwaukee's east side three years ago and now considers himself a Wisconsinite. Diamond spoke in advance of his comedy gig at 8 p.m. Sunday at the Modjeska Theatre, 1134 W. Mitchell St., with Journal Sentinel reporter Reid J. Epstein.

Q. You were born and raised in California and lived there when "Saved by the Bell" was taping. What prompted you to move to Wisconsin?

Advertisement

'Takes Five'


Photo/Files
Dustin Diamond



A. I met a girl out here, and my band had recorded out here, so I ended up moving. It's not very exciting.

Q. Do you find that when you're out in Milwaukee people recognize you?

A. Oh, absolutely. Like Kid Rock is representing Detroit, I'm now representing Wisconsin.

Q. How would Bayside High be different if it were set in Milwaukee?

A. I have no idea. You'd have to ask the original writers. I don't think it would be too much different. The way they set up the show, everybody was from a different clique, but unbelievably they were all friends. They were supposed to kind of generally resemble your average person, but, of course, larger than life.

Q. How do you explain the lack of professional success had by your "Saved by the Bell" co-stars since they left the show?

A. I think because we did the show so long, we've been typecast, and typecasting is a very powerful thing. It's wrong, but it does exist. Unlike me, they don't have anything to fall back on. I'm now a full-fledged professional comedian. If they don't act, there's nothing they can do.

Q. I read that you once tried to date Tori Spelling. How did that turn out?

A. No, I think that got mixed up. I actually tried to set her up with Mark-Paul (Gosselaar, who played Zach Morris on the show). That was when she made her cameo on the show. But Mark-Paul wasn't interested.

05th July 2006 - 01:07:16 PM
78306 : Kurt
Is it just me, or does someone around here find the term "duece" to be very funny? I've seen that term used quite a bit lately. Don't get me wrong, it is funny - this is just my own observation.

04th July 2006 - 11:39:56 PM
78292 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, when you are on The View, are you going to discuss which bridge you are going to live under when you lose your house? I think it would be nice if you did that so your queer fans can find you and leave some HIV juice for you to drink!

04th July 2006 - 10:41:05 PM
78291 : Kurt Steinberg
Fellow queers, did Princess Puessie post messages 78281-78284 under the name "glans roundhelmet"? Those incoherent rambling messages read like something Puessie would write. Puessie, if that is you then leave and don't come back! This is a QUEERS-ONLY guestbook set of for Diamond's gay fans to exchange homosexual fantasies about Diamond and the rest of the Saved By The Bell gang! If you don't want to teabag Diamond and then take a shit in his mouth, you shouldn't post here!

28th June 2006 - 10:25:37 PM
78208 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, what are you going to do during the winter when you are sleeping under your bridge? Do you think you'll befriend a few rats and use them as pillows? Will you you broken tree branches and abandoned tires as blankets? Please get back to me immediately, as these are important questions!

27th June 2006 - 10:07:07 PM
78183 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey starships-1, let's hook up for some hot and sweaty unprotected buttsex! I will show you my "vacuum cleaner" queer sex move in a gas station bathroom. I'll do you in the ass wheelbarrow style, and then I will push you hard into the stall, so that your arms give out and your face hits the floor. Then, with my hard penis still lodged in your cornhole, I will push your face up and down and all around the bathroom floor, kind of like the way one vacuums a room! I'll make sure that it's a really dirty bathroom with caked-on urine, shit, and queer jizz on the floor. By the time I was done with you, your face will be coated with the old urine, shit, and queer jizz! Let's have sex!!!!!!!!!!

27th June 2006 - 02:13:12 PM
78176 : Kurt
Awesome site! I love the picture of the guy with the jew-fro wig!

27th June 2006 - 01:48:40 PM
78174 :
These old posts by the real Diamond are awesome:

http://www.dustindiamond.com/guest/guest.html?displayBegin=6008


27th June 2006 - 01:43:31 PM
78173 : Kurt
A ton of my earlier posts on the Miller board were also deleted. That's unfortunate, as we really contributed a lot to that message board.

27th June 2006 - 11:50:37 AM
78170 : Kurt
Gay Zack, starships is back on the Jeremy Miller imdb board trying to hetero- everything up. The forces of queerness must join together to combat this aggression to ensure that the Jeremy Miller message board stays gay.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0588595/board/nest/44610974?d=46760959#46760959

26th June 2006 - 05:56:58 PM
78148 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey Jessie (the one with the www.myspace.com/84999301 link), why do you keep posting here? This is a QUEERS-only guestbook! Nobody cares about your crappy myspace webpage.

Only MALE QUEERS should post here. This webpage was set up to provide Diamond's queer fans with a forum for (a) exchanging gay fantasies involving Diamond; (b) telling Diamond how much he sucks; and (c) scheduling gay sex with Diamond. Homosexuals come here for the sole purpose of finding hot spank material! If your post doesn't relate to any of these things, the guestbook moderator will probably delete your message.

25th June 2006 - 05:57:37 PM
78126 : Kurt Steinberg
Does anyone else here think it's funny that Screech and his family moved from his school with Miss Bliss in Indianapolis, IN to Bayside in Los Angeles, CA in an effort to protect Screech from daily rapings at the hands of Mr. Belding only to discover that Mr. Belding had been transferred to Bayside at the same time?

23rd June 2006 - 01:58:06 PM
78094 : Kurt
http://www.brokennewz.com/displaystory_static.html

Friday, June 23, 2006
Interview with Dustin Diamond - Mansion, Foreclosure and the 10 Inch Penis


Dustin Diamond, also known as Screech from the massively popular late-80's and early 90's tween drama called Saved by the Bell, has hit a bit of a rough patch. He's at risk of losing his Port Washington, Wisconson home - and if that weren't bad enough, he's gone public with the entire debacle, asking his fans (and, we'd wager, even those who aren't his fans) to buy a line of specialty t-shirts to help him raise money to "Save Screech's House."
We here at BrokenNewz grew up on Saved By The Bell and aren't ashamed to admit that we were rooting for Dustin when he beat the holy tar out of Horseshack on Celebrity Boxing. So, with our love for the Screechmeister and a huge amount of curiosity, Joe the Peacock saddled up to the table with him and asked him a few questions.

Joe the Peacock: So, this "Save Dustin's House" thing... What the hell is up with that?

Dustin Diamond: We all face trying times, I am just going public with mine. If you think about it comedians sell t-shirts all the time, I am just being upfront with what I am using the money for. I am not out there begging for hand outs or asking for donations. There is no shame in what I am doing.

JtP: You realize that many people on the internet are calling this a "scam" and a publicity stunt. We at Broken Newz would never purport to resort to such a retort � so, we'd like to ask a few clarifying questions:

When you reference the fact that you had "shitty credit" when you moved out west and bought your home on a land contract, what specifically do you mean? And what the heck happened to all those big "Saved by the Bell" bucks?

DD: I fell prey to the curse of most child stars�.parents. When I turned 18 I only had about 250,000.00 in a protected account for me. So even though I had been working on the show for so long. I did not have much to show for it.

JtP: How did you get involved with Arthur Giraldo?

DD: He came recommended to me by an agent out of NY. We didn't have any dealings before this.

JtP: You mention that Giraldo used more than one word to tell you to "Go F... Yourself!" What words were they?

DD: Sorry, the lawyers won't let me touch this one��.yet.

JtP: At one point, you've gone on record mentioning that you have a 10 inch penis. Why bother with this shirt business? Why not just go make some super quick money doing pornos?

DD: My lady would rather be homeless. There is no shame in porn�..and I mean honestly who isn't a fan, but Jennifer does not like to share. Who knows maybe I can convince her someday, everyone has a price.

JtP: If you did do porno, you could do one along with Debbie Diamond. It could be an all-anal flick called "Diamonds in the Rough" or something. There is no question here, I just wanted to make that joke. Sorry. Moving along.

DD: Oddly enough I have been contacted.

JtP: How much have you raised thus far? How much further do you have to go? Do you think you'll make your goal in time?

DD: To date we still have a long way to go. I am not sure what the exact number is, we have to account for the overhead. But I know that the story of my plight has made it around the world. We have received a number of support letters from the UK, Norway, Japan, and Canada. Only time will tell if we can reach the goal in time. Let's hope so.

JtP: Away from this nasty house business, what other projects does Dustin Diamond have lined up? Where will we see you next?

DD: My stand up career has been successful, and I've built a strong fan base as Dustin Diamond "the comedian". I am taping a show for Showtime in August which will be my first televised comedy performance. Who knows...maybe I'll be the next reality show!

23rd June 2006 - 09:02:47 AM
78082 : Larry Bolton
Did anyone else see the interview on "Geraldo At Large" yesterday? Geraldo sent a reporter with a mullet out to Wisconsin to interview Diamond. As usual, Diamond complained that his parents took a lot of his money. He also said a lot of it was "wasted," but did no say by whom.

The part with Diamond was taped beforehand, and then Geraldo talked to the mullet-head reporter one-on-one. Geraldo said something like "Did I detect that you didn't seem to feel too sorry for Screech there?" And then they talked for about a minute, never once referring to the former child star as "Dustin Diamond." Instead, they only called him "Screech." It was pretty funny

22nd June 2006 - 04:30:54 PM
78069 : Frenchie
Hi Screech, remember me? I'm the guy who called in to harass you when you were on the Opie & Anthony Show back in 2002. Remember when I said I threw a baseball bat into my tv every time Saved By The bell was shown and I saw you? Remember when I said you were a "gay F?" When when I said "you looked like a faggot on that show and you look like a faggot now." Rememebr when you asked me to come down and see your show and I told you that only 10 people were going to show up and you would then go into the parking lot and kill yourself? Remember when the hosts were laughing as you were about to cry? Rememebr when you lef the studio and the hosts were still making fun of you? Remember when they said that was their all-time worst radio segment? I sure got you good that time.

21st June 2006 - 11:17:38 PM
78030 : Kurt Steinberg
You have to listen to the fruity audio clips Diamond put on his website: http://www.getdshirts.com/free.php

In one of them he says he's going to lose his house and have to live under a bridge. I'll bet he'd live with a homeless man or a troll under the bridge have have lots of queer sex!

21st June 2006 - 10:16:42 PM
78026 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey Diamond, I noticed that you're now selling bricks on your website for $1000 - http://www.getdshirts.com/buy.php Are you seeling these because nobody is buying your t-shirts?

Why don't you get a real job instead of being such a whiney bitch? Everyone else has to work to survive. Why should it be any different for you? You're not good-looking, you're not a good actor, are you certainly aren't even funny!!! You should have been kissing the ground you walk on when you lucked into the Screech role and played it for 10+ years, earning $2,000,000! Instead you blew it all. Maybe your parents took soome of it, but it sure seems as though you're responsible for most of the blown money!

But don't take this the wrong way - I still want to fire my seed down your throat and fart in your mouth. Is that cool with you?

21st June 2006 - 08:53:03 PM
78023 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey Diamond, in this 2005 article you mentioned that you and Jennifer got married on November 5, 2003: http://www.mkeonline.com/story.asp?id=357162

However, when you were on the Howard Stern Show last week you said that Jennifer was just your fiancee: http://www.bestsharing.com/files/ms00165183/stern%20with%20scheech.mp3.html

Please explain these inconsistencies! I find it odd that you mentioned a specific date on which you were married in the article if you were not, in fact, married. And to later tell your fans that you are only engaged, not married, is perplexing. Is there still hope for the queers who post here? We'd all like a piece of your ass!!!

21st June 2006 - 08:45:10 PM
78020 : Kurt Steinberg
Gay Zack, you're missing another important issue - whose brilliant idea was it to not acquire any health insurance? I suppose they figured they'd save a few hundred dollars per month by forgoing it. But after the pregnancy complications they ended up on the hook for $125,000!

20th June 2006 - 10:24:13 PM
77993 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, remember that time when you thought you'd save a few bucks by not having any health insurance? Remember when your fiance ended up having serious health issues with a pregnancy and you ended up on the hook for $130,000? Sure you got screwed over that time!

20th June 2006 - 10:07:28 PM
77992 : Kurt Steinberg
By the way, Diamond mentioned in the interview that the reason he ended up being on the hook for $130,000 in medical fees is because he didn't have any health insurance. What an idiot!!!

In case that link doesn't work, you can find it here:
http://www.kroq.com/kevinandbean/sounds.html


20th June 2006 - 10:02:09 PM
77991 : Kurt Steinberg
Listen to this interview of Diamond from KROQ.

mms://kroq.wmod.llnwd.net/a168/o1/kbaudio/screech.asf

Diamond whines about his financial situation, blaming his parents for his problems. When asked if he shared any blamed for his bad credit, Diamond changed the subject. Diamond also claimed that the guy about to foreclose on his property is doing "shady" stuff.

Diamond, grow up and take responsibility for your actions! You made a shitty deal and you have yourself to blame for it. If the lender violated the law, then you should tell everyone about it. If you keep defaming him, he should sue you! Wouldn't that be funny!

19th June 2006 - 08:28:25 AM
77901 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey Diamond, do you realize you're committing copyright infringement by using the name "Screeech" on the t-shirts you are hawking? You misspelled your former character's name, but it's a blatant ripoff nevertheless.

What would you do if after losing your house to foreclosure you were sued for statutory damages for copyright infringement?

19th June 2006 - 08:22:27 AM
77900 : Kurt Steinberg
Chachi, you're a blast from the past. Have you turned gay yet? Because I think you and I should spitroast Screech. It would be awesome to do it in front of Arthur Giraldo! Maybe then he'll give Screech another loan.

19th June 2006 - 12:01:54 AM
77883 : Kurt Steinberg
Here's a video of the "Inside the Actor's Studio" where Tobey Maguire played Screech!

http://www.bestsharing.com/files/ms00167506/SNL%20-%20Inside%20the%20Actors%20Studio%20w%20Screech.mpg.html

18th June 2006 - 11:19:25 PM
77882 : Kurt Steinberg
Here's a video to which I posted a link last year. A 16-year-old nerd interviewer and his buddy totally clown Diamond in this clip:
http://www.bestsharing.com/files/ms00167498/Screech.WMV.html

18th June 2006 - 10:36:28 PM
77879 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, thanks for bringing back your guestbook. Your queers fans owe you for this! To show my appreciation, I'd like to give you a warm and heavy pair of Arabian goggles and then rub my smelly taint all over your face and fire my seed in you eyes!!! Let's get together soon.

- Kurt Steinberg

17th June 2006 - 05:35:45 PM
77169 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, let's hook up for some hot, sweaty, unprotected butt-sex. I'll eat some tacos and then take a shit in your 'fro. Then you can toss my salad and let me do you in the ass! Is that cool with you?

- Kurt Steinberg

My Queer Secret

I posted the following hot queer secret over at 2secret.com:
Wet fart at the gym 3/30/2006 - 22:58

I like to lift weights at the gym without wearing any underwear. I wear black and white zebra striped Zubaz pants (like the ones popular 15 years ago) when working out. Last month I lifted after eating Taco bell for lunch and accidently ripped a wet fart during one of my bench press sets. A smelly brown stain quickly formed on my Zubaz pants so I went into the locker room took them off and threw them in a random locker and then hopped in the shower and went home after cleaning myself up. I don't think anyone saw what I did because it was around 10PM (the gym was open until 11), but I think a little bit of shit soaked through my Zubaz and got on the bench. I haven't been back to that gym since then.

The following comments were posted in response to my queer secret:
3/31/2006 - 17:39
by kitchenwench US
Zubaz with no underwear you say. Everyone is really glad 'the weird creepy guy with the tiny weiner' doesn't come around anymore.

3/31/2006 - 19:54
by j420
I'm pretty sure someone will find it and realize you were wearing the Zubav. Kill yourself soon.

4/1/2006 - 16:44
by shazam
The only part that made me laugh was when you mentioned you were wearing zubaz. Who the fuck wears zubaz?

4/1/2006 - 17:46
by secret VA
Kitchenwench's comment is perfect

4/1/2006 - 21:23
by solo CA
no ur wrong secret. shazam took the money with his post

I bought a new pair of Zubaz! 4/3/2006 - 15:39
by Kurt_Steinberg
I found another gym where I can lift weights. Since I no longer have the black and white Zubaz pants, I had to go onto eBay to purchase a new pair - I am now the proud owner of a blue and white pair of Zubaz. The Zubaz are pretty loose-fitting so nobody can really tell that I'm working out commando. The only problem is that after periodically sitting down to do various workout routines, they quickly start to smell like ass.

4/3/2006 - 23:43
by kitchenwench
^^^ There's no such thing as 'new' zubaz since 1987. Good luck with those anal warts you stank ass fuck.

2/13/2007 - 09:31
by gayzack
hey buddy, I wear a sweet pair of Cleveland Brown's zubaz with a mesh shirt to my gym, although I wear a thong underwear. Do you want to get together for some ass play? I'd like to pull your zubaz down to your ankles and suck your cock. Maybe we can sword fight?

2/13/2007 - 10:28
by Kurt_Steinberg
I would need to clean myself first. The Zubaz have a tendency to trap air in them and don't "breathe" very well. I get so hot and sweaty that when I take them off after an hour of lifting and sweating they reek and totally smell like ass. Some people like that sort of thing, but others do not.

2/13/2007 - 10:50
by gayzack
sounds hot - do you want to exchange zubaz? I can take a shit in mine and send them over to you if you want or I can just wear them so they smell like a fine cheese. I once bought a pair of zubaz off ebay that Dustin Diamond wore on an episode of Saved By the Bell. I smelled the crotch area so many times while masturbating that I wore a hole in the crotch!

YOU ARE GETTING ME HORNY! 2/14/2007 - 11:07
by JewveBeenFramed
You guys are getting me horny as hell! I sometimes where a pair of pink zubaz to the gay night at my local bar. I think we should all get together and dress up as members of Saved by the Bell and have a dumpster party. Bags being AC Slater.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Hot Picture of Mr. Tuttle Driving Over Screech!

Remember that Saved By The Bell episode where Mr. Tuttle taught the gang in his Driver's Ed class how to drive? As you may recall, he had a golf cart in a classroom and everyone learned how to drive on it, even though it had only three wheels and the class had to drive indoors! Anyway, Dner drew and posted this hot picture of Mr. Tuttle driving over Screech over at the Dustin Diamond Love forum. It looks like Tuttle is braking with the wheels on the front axle while the back wheels spin on Diamond's naked body, painfully ripping off Diamond's skin!

Monday, April 09, 2007

More Queer Saved By The Bell Cartoons

Check out these hot homoerotic cartoons that were posted over at the old Dustin Diamond Love forum. The first cartoon was drawn by Fagbusters and the last two were drawn by Ox.





Queer Cartoon of Screech and Kevin the Robot

Check out this homoerotic cartoon that was posted over at the old Dustin Diamond Love forum. This picture was drawn by Marcus.

Queer Cartoon of Screech and Belding

Check out this homoerotic cartoon that was posted over at the old Dustin Diamond Love forum. I believe this was drawn by Dner.

Monday, January 15, 2007

More Spank-Worthy Posts From Dustindiamond.com

I found more hot homoerotic posts from the Dustindiamond.com guestbook:

12th July 2004 - 04:08:31 PM
8622 : Gay Zack
Dustin, I learned a new move called "baby sparrow" or "baby bird" where I ejaculate into your mouth, then start to flap my arms and chirp as you slowly regurgitate the load back into my own eagerly awaiting mouth.


16th August 2004 - 02:22:37 PM
9719 : Gay Zack
I'm looking forward to you jerking off into my mouth Dustin - i will swallow it and spit it up into your mouth like a baby bird


22nd November 2004 - 02:19:12 AM
11202 :
so wait a minute... dustin wants everybody to call him "the dust" now? let's see... dustin "the dust" diamond... hmmm... nope, doesn't sound even remotely catchy. i think i'll just keep calling him "stupid cocksucking jew" from here on out.


04th April 2003 - 12:47:40 AM
2551 : Dirty Debbie
Cum swing on my cock lovely, I have a huge penis, oops my towel came down, what are you going to do about it, Dustin, how's your dad Neil Diamond going? Still tending to his penis and ass needs? I love u dustin.

Love Your Mom, Dirty Debbie, from www.pantyfreaks.com


05th August 2003 - 08:59:40 PM
3988 : Robbie Crooker
Im queer too Ken. People call me "the corn cob smuggler".
I would like to sample your penis cheese.


27th August 2003 - 10:05:52 AM
4677 : Admin
Guys

Please, I meant what I said. If you don't keep on-topic, which means conversation related to having homosexual relations with Dustin Diamond, then I'll have to shut the board down.

TIA

Admin


26th August 2003 - 06:31:17 PM
4668 : Admin
Hi Everyone,
I have been somewhat remiss lately in the topics - trying to make sure everything is working technically.

Please, everyone, the main topic of discussion here is supposed to be homosexuality concerning Dustin Diamond. This was my intention when I opened the board and I'd like to politely remind you that this is the way in which it must continue, otherwise I'll have no choice but to shut this place down.

This site is a labour of love and the bandwidth costs me a fortune, so please keep the conversation on-topic and discuss acts of gay love with Dustin Diamond. Apparently he reads all the posts here and gets a real kick out of the fact that he's a gay cultural icon. Way to go DD!

Thanks for your co-operation, everyone play nice and you won't get banned!

Best

Admin


05th May 2004 - 09:56:03 AM
7357 : billy elliot
spank material:
http://www.saltythepocketknife.com/images/studio1.jpg
http://www.saltythepocketknife.com/images/studio2.jpg
http://www.saltythepocketknife.com/images/studio3.jpg
http://www.saltythepocketknife.com/images/studio4.jpg


05th May 2004 - 01:02:46 PM
7361 : cocksucking asslick
Ha Ha!!!!! Those photos are so gay that I can almost feel duskin's Dimoand's kum shooting up my asshole as we speak - Thamk you, Duskin, 4 giving us something to lose our loads to! In those photos, it almost looks as if Duskin is saying directly to me, with his intense, shit-brown eyes "yeah, I know that you're one of those little wimps that's been talkin' shit about me in that fucked-up guestbook, because you're too much of a pussy to say it to my face, ass-wipe - hell, even our faggot transvestite singer could whip your ass!... So, if you've got a problem with me, bring it on, bitch!!!!!!..... - Otherwise, shut the fuck up!!!!!!..." - That's what he is saying to me with his hypnotic and magnetic gaze - I can't break away from it!!!! Awwww, please abuse me, Duskin, I've been a very naughty little boy!!!!..... AAAAAAAAGGGGGFJHFJKGL;G (i JUST LOST A LOAD...)


03rd December 2002 - 12:17:10 AM
1538 : Jesus Christ
Someone should compile all these messages into a book. I nearly pissed my pants I was laughing so hard at this shit.


22nd May 2002 - 10:45:07 PM
1007 : Horseshack
Screech you lousy son of a bitch! You broke my friggin' nose! Didn't you see me flailing like a little girl? Couldn't you have takin it a little friggin' easy on me? Didn't you feel any pity for my sad & pathetic display of manhood? Next time why don't you fight Chyna - she's got bigger balls than you, you little bag of hamster crap!
P.S. Are we still on for that handjob in the shower?


11th April 2002 - 01:24:33 PM
915 : Screech Hater

Why the hell is there a website dedicated to this moron? Do you people really think he's funny? Maybe it just helps raise your own self-esteem to see an ugly geek make an ass out of himself. In case you loyal Screech fans haven't noticed: HE'S NOT GOODLOOKING, HE'S NOT TALENTED, AND HE'S NOT FUNNY!! Dustin Diamond has a huge crooked nose, I'll give him that, but that's where the comedy stops. C'mon, this guy is such a fruit. And for those of you who may be thinking of replying to my messagewith 'then why are you on this website?' I ENDED UP HERE FROM A LINK ON A WEBRING DEDICATED TO MAKING FUN OF DUSTIN DIAMOND. Imagine that!!! The irony of it all is that the websites making fun of this buffoon contain a link to his OWN website haha... If that's not proof of what a shithead Screech is, then I don't know what is. HEY DUSTIN: YOU'RE OWN WEBSITE MAKES YOU LOOK BAD, MAYBE THAT'S WHY YOU'VE DECIDED TO TAKE IT DOWN NOW. Thank God, no more Screech..please no more Screech. Actually, maybe you should leave it up so we can all remember how normal we are.


11th September 2001 - 08:42:57 PM
256 : Preppie
Hey screech, Slater and I were headed over to the Max after school. You are not invited you cock loving jew.


05th November 2004 - 03:05:02 PM
10854 : Gay Zack
Dustin, remember when a whole bunch of your smelly Zubaz were stolen from the set of SBTB? Well it was I who took them. I smelled the ass area for weeks until deciding to let them steep in hot water to make a tea, which I drank. Than I decided to use the left over tea to steep the zubaz in even more, except letting the water evaporite, forming pure Dustin essence. I would smell it while jerking off, or sometimes wear it around like a cologne - many queers would chase me around when I wore it! Eventually I used up all that the zubaz had to offer, so I took the zubaz and used them a rags to clean up after gay sex. I'm waiting to get some dirty tighty whiteys or yours to wear on my head while shouting "zoinks" while my ass gets worked in a Castro dumpster sex party.


07th November 2003 - 08:35:04 AM
5611 : Leaky Ass Queer
Thanks for another classic "Remember When" story, I sure hope Diamond reads this stuff, along with his family and friends.


13th November 2003 - 01:30:52 AM
5701 : Remember when...
Hey Diamond, remember when you used to have a steady paycheck??? Remember when you weren't a complete joke???


19th November 2003 - 02:57:48 AM
5785 : Gwando
'Remember When' guy, nothing gets me more aroused than sweaty man on man wrestling.
I would like to have Diamond wear a tight pink leotard and smear himself in baby oil. I would chase him around for a while, but his thin greasy body would keep slipping from my grasps.
Eventually i would throw him to the floor, tear off his leotard and unsheath my rod, which i would insert into him, and rapidly lose the mother of all loads in his colon!
After a brief rest, i would take a dump on his chest and throw him out into the street!


07th June 2005 - 05:48:33 PM
15410 :
hi dustin I live in your neighborhood and I have a bone to pick with you. I don't mind all the partying you do, but I just wish you'd keep it in the house. I don't know how many times I've looked outside to find gay sex going on in the front yard. Once I caught you taking a shit on my bushes. we are a good clean wholesome neighborhood and if you insist on having your gay orgies, we'd all just wish that you'd keep them in the house. The house to the left of me told me about the time they came out to see you sitting on the hood of the car getting oral sex from Danny Pintuaro while shooting up heroin. We don't want you to move, we just want you to cool it on the gay sex parties.


27th October 2004 - 09:36:37 PM
10629 : Gay Ox
Duh! Me gay Ox? Ox like scat! Ox want Screech take off Zubaz and we roll around each other's poo! Ox want threesome with Screech, small retarded boy. Then Hot Lunch. Hot Lunch good!

Ox want take Slater mullet then Ox shoot cum in it! Cum good!


09th December 2004 - 07:27:57 PM
11604 : Hot Karl
Gay Zack and Rocco, I also find homeless guys to be an inexpensive, readily available source of ass. Buy em a cheap bottle of whisky and a Happy Meal, and they'll go all night! Some of my queer friends don't agree, because of the risk of picking up exotic STDs from some smelly bum's scabby, hairy, shit-encrusted ringhole. But I'm not bothered about that. In fact it's kind of a turn on - the more unwashed, the better!

Personally I like to go up to a drunk homeless guy in the street, and before he knows what's happening I'll bend em over, pull his pants down and stick my tongue up his poot-chute! The fleas and crusty shit contained in the average bum's anal beard make for a highly tasty meal! Yummy!


20th February 2005 - 09:40:55 AM
12413 : Dustin\'s nephew
he made me touch his thingy as well and it went hard and white stuff came out i don';t understand why dosn't my thingy do that then he went to the bathroomm on my face why did he do that it was'ntt nice and it made me smeel like pee peee for dayys


20th February 2005 - 09:32:53 AM
12412 : Dustin\'s nephew
Uncl Dusty tride to put his thingy in my bunghole. then he touched my on my thingy and tolded me not to teel anywon. why did he do that i dont understadn


29th March 2003 - 06:14:47 PM
2186 : Zach
Hey Screech, do you remember the time you thought you had a wet dream?? Actually I was banging Lisa Turtle's tight pussy one night and right after I blew my load in her mouth, she spit in your underwear while you were sleeping...Did you really think that your tiny balls could produce a Monster Wad like that??? HAH


21st March 2003 - 09:22:52 AM
2057 : Dustin Diamond
Hey there Dennis. Thanks for the comments on my site. Trouble is people post horrible things about me and I don't know why, in future please email me. It would be great to catch up on old times, remember that funny time I fell over :) and that other time when we had sex. Well hope to hear from you soon, Dustin

Spank-Worthy Posts From Dustindiamond.com

I found some really hot homoerotic posts from the Dustindiamond.com guestbook:

30th July 2003 - 01:44:32 AM
3616 : Fattom
Screech, if you'd be mine, this is what you'd have in store...

We're in the showers all alone. Zack and Slater are tied up in the corner and blindfolded so they can hear our lovemaking but not see. I'd caress your locks of sweet curly hair with a mild shampoo because I know how sensitive you are. No tears for you, baby. Don't fret honey; we won't tell violet. And neither will the preppie and the mullet if they know what's good for them. By now you are "screeching" in enjoyment and my skilled hands. Don't blow your load just yet, there's more to "cum".

30th July 2003 - 02:38:55 AM
3620 : Fattom
That's when things get rough. Oh my! Have I not found the soap on a rope?!(nod once for yes) Why, yes that is a cock roach. No, they have shampoos for that, my pet. My knob does not taste funny.


13th December 2004 - 04:58:48 AM
11649 : Hot Karl
Dustin, I want to squeeze sperm out of your cock like it was a tube of toothpaste. Then I will brush my teeth with it.


26th August 2003 - 06:31:17 PM
4668 : Admin
Hi Everyone,
I have been somewhat remiss lately in the topics - trying to make sure everything is working technically.

Please, everyone, the main topic of discussion here is supposed to be homosexuality concerning Dustin Diamond. This was my intention when I opened the board and I'd like to politely remind you that this is the way in which it must continue, otherwise I'll have no choice but to shut this place down.

This site is a labour of love and the bandwidth costs me a fortune, so please keep the conversation on-topic and discuss acts of gay love with Dustin Diamond. Apparently he reads all the posts here and gets a real kick out of the fact that he's a gay cultural icon. Way to go DD!

Thanks for your co-operation, everyone play nice and you won't get banned!

Best

Admin


22nd October 2003 - 03:52:46 AM
5350 : friendly advisor
go to dustin diamond's official website at http://www.dustindiamond.net/ and find his big headshot in the photos section. i just discovered that if you shrink it down a bit and print it out, cut a hole in his mouth, and tape it to the face of a blow up doll, you can use it to pretend that you're actually receiving a blow job from dusty himself. for added effect, you can even shave off all your pubic hair and tape the shavings to his chin for some deliciously yummy scrotum scrubbing goodness. the headshot is a bit large but can easily be shrunk down to lifesize proportions, as if dustin himself had planned for it to be used this way from the beginning. thanks dude!


22nd October 2003 - 12:46:01 PM
5360 : friendly advisor
great suggestion, kurt! but i've got an idea on how to take your game even another step further. tonight, after i print out another one of dusty's headshot photos and cut out the mouth and eye holes, i'm going to invite one of my queer friends over and have him wear it like a mask. and since it's a real living breathing person instead of an inanimate object (like a computer or blow up doll) it'll make it that much easier for me to imagine that i'm actually blowing my own creamy load onto dustin diamond's face!


06th November 2003 - 11:58:23 AM
5602 : Leaky Ass Queer
I just found a GREAT use for my stale old pumpkin from Halloween! I printed out our favorite Diamond face mask and pasted it onto my pumpkin and had all my queer friends over to pump their loads into it. It looked they were actually bumming a decapitated Diamond in his gob!

When they were all finished fucking his little face-hole I french kissed the effigy of Diamond and hungrily gulped down every single drop of nut butter and pumpkin with a big small on my face and a very hard cock! It was quite a trip to be actually kissing Diamond whilst drinking cum at the same time, a snowball with Diamond is something to be cherished indeed!


25th September 2003 - 10:39:09 AM
4992 : Mr. Conholer
I've been hanging around in London with some of my homo-boys this week and we went along to see David Blaine doing his thing in a box. It was really dull. To spice it up we'd like to suggest that Dustin replaces David in the box, and instead of water being fed through the tube we think it'd be a good idea to have hot fresh nut butter going through there.

I for one would love to see such an endurance test, and I'm positive that Dustin could survive for 44 days on love custard alone. It'd be great if they had a little "milking" booth where all of London's queers could J/O into Diamond's supply whilst watching Saved By The Bell re-runs - and sooner or later there's bound to be a nice soupcon of "dirty" jism in there that will give Dusty a little extra to think about!

Dustin is definitely a gay icon here in London, a few of the guys are already sporting what they call "Diamond's"- a cute little goatee with a few drops of dried up man-fat dangling off the end!


13th October 2004 - 12:12:25 PM
10332 : Gay Zack
10324 : Thanks for the heads up - Billy has responded.
>I read in an interview on amazon.com that there is a hidden episode
> in the SBTB College Years DVD set. Does anyone know if this is true or not? If yes, how can I find it? Thanks!

I too have heard of the hidden episode where Screech want's to join a
frat and is hazed by the frat boys (supposedly he gets gang raped by
the frat guys and they felt this was just too much to air even if
they were trying to deal with a serious issue), I found a site that
tells how to do it, but I haven't been able to get it to work yet -
but several people say it works and does exist. At the title screen
of disc 2 you push 695008, quickly, than a screen should pop up that
says "Zoinks", eject it and put in disc 1, push 800596 and it should
pop up "zubaz", than put disc 2 back in and push 22752837 it should
pop up "AC slater", push the play button and it should work - I know
it sounds like a lot, but I've heard from at least 10 people that it
works - good luck - Billy Smith

Saturday, January 13, 2007

IMDB Message boards

There are many IMDB message boards which can be quite fun. Unfortunately, however, there is a racist black troll who posts under the name Interceptor3. He has admitted to being 40-years old and hates all whites, hispanics, asians, and other non-blacks. He works for the Los Angeles Board of Education. Despite being 40 years-old, he has the maturity of an 8-year old. He posts racist tripe and then complains to the admins whenever anyone responds to his posts. He is on his third login - the first two (one of which was Katana500) were deleted because so many people complained about his stupid posts.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Hot "Remember When" Posts From Dustindiamond.com and The Dustin Diamond Love Forum

These are some of the hottest posts I've ever seen posted at Dustindiamond.com and the Dustin Diamond Love Forum:

11th May 2005 - 02:41:07 AM
13485 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where Slater tripped you during a basketball game you were playing in gym class at Bayside? Remember when you told the teacher what had happened and Slater was sent to Mr. Belding's office? Remember when Mr. Belding called you down to his office and you thought he was going to ask about the incident so that he could document everything before suspending Slater? Remember when you walked into Mr. Belding's office and Slater jumped out from behind the door and punched you in the chin? Remember when MR. Belding stood up and you saw that he was naked and stroking his schlong while watching Slater beat your ass? Remember when Slater kepting punching you in the chest and ribs? Remember when he tore off your now-bloody Zubaz and had unprotected buttsex with you? Remember when Mr. Belding walked over and blew his load in your 'fro? Remember when MR. Belding kicked you in the head and you lost consciousness and went into a coma? Remember when an ambulance was called and you went to the hospital? Remember when Zack and Slater visited you after you came out of your coma? Remember how you were on an IV drip? Remember when Slater used medical tape to tape your hands together? Remember when you thought (and hoped) he was doing this so that he could have kinky gay sex with you? Remmeber when he yanked off the IV bag and took into the bathroom and took a runny shit in it? Remember when he came back out and hooked up the bag of his shit to the IV drip? Remember when you got blood poisoning and almost died? Remember when you went into another coma and permanently lost 25% of your brain's mental capacity? Slater sure got you good that time!

16th May 2005 - 12:22:34 AM
13557 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you were playing kickball during gym class at Bayside? Remember when Kelly was at the plate and she kicked the ball to you while you were playing shortstop? Remember when you fielded the ball and wildly threw it toward Zack, the first baseman? Remember when you were so uncoordinated that the ball slipped as you threw it and it hit the second baseman in the head? Remember when the second basement was a weirdo that liked to be called the "Prince"? Remember when everyone thought he was a complete faggot? Remember how he was the only kid in school that you could beat up, as he was even more scrawny than you? Remember when he got up after you hit hit with the kickball and came at you crying and screaming like the big pussy that he was? Remember when he swung at you with flailing arms? Remember when you kicked him in the nuts and he fell over? Remember when a crowd started forming around you two yelling "FIGHT!!! FIGHT!!! FIGHT!!!" as you squared off with the Prince? Remember when Mr. Belding ran out in the gym and said "hey, hey, hey, waht is going on here?" Remember when the Prince ran over to Belding and told him that you hit him with the kickball for no reason? Remember when Mr. Belding picked up the kickball and said "was it this kickball, you stupid FAGGOT?" as he whipped the ball at your face from a distance of a mere 10 feet away? Remember when the ball hit the Prince in his face, shattering his nose and spraying blood everywhere? Remember when the entire class started laughing and called the Prince a stupid piece of cocksucking shit? Remember when Slater said "whoa, that's a lot of blood" as Zack gave the Prince a legsweep, knocking him to the ground? Remember when Slater dropped trow and then dropped an HIV+ pile of shit on the Prince's bloody nose? Remember when the HIV from Slater's feces made its way into the Prince's bloodstream, giving the Prince HIV? Remember when Mr. Dewey, the science teacher, ran into the gym with a syringe and said "Prince, take this, it will make you better" as he injected the Prince? Remember when he finished the injection and then told everyone he had just injected the Prince with the Ebola virus? Remember when everyone started laughing? Remember how the Prince was a bloody, fecal-covered mess by this point? Remember when you said "alright, he's had enough... JUST KIDDING, WE'RE JUST GETTING WARMING UP!!!" as you kicking the Prince in the nuts and then yanked off his gym shorts? Remember when everyone laughed because the Prince was hung like a gnat? Remember when Slater, Zack, Mr. Belding, Maxwell Nerdstrom, and Mr. Dewey took turns stomping on the Prince's tiny hairless beanbag? Remember when I said "let me have a chance! I'm strong like an OX?" Remember when I stomped so hard on the Prince's nuts that his nutsack broke open and his tiny balls rolled out? Remember when Salter said "Prince, I think these belong to you" as he stuffed then down the Prince's throat? Remember when the Prince was in the hospital for months afterward and has been seeing a psychiatrist for years? Remember when you went to your 10-year Bayside high school reunion and discovered that the Prince had a sex change and now goes by the name "Princess Puessie"? Remember when Princess Peussie started posting retarded things in message board because he thinks they are funny, when in reality only a stupid fecal-munching pervert would find any of his postings funny? You and the Bayside gang sure screwed over the Prince in that episode!

26th September 2004 - 07:47:50 PM
10055 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where Slater was working in the cafeteria during lunchtime to make a little extra money to support his coke habit? Remember when it was taco day at lunchtime? Remember when you purchased a taco and Slater yelled out from the grill "hey Screech, let me put my beef in your taco?" Remember when you said that the taco you had just purchased already had a lot of ground beef in it? Remember when Slater promised he'd give you more beef? Remember when Slater made you come into the back to get the extra beef? Remember when you opened a door and walked back by the grill and were startled when you saw Mr. Belding with his pants down? Remember how Mr. Belding was stroking his middle-aged cock while looking at a picture of Zack in the Bayside yearbook? Remember when he blew his wad right when you walked in and his load landed in your eyes, temporarily blinding you? Remember when Slater yanked down your pants as you fumbled around? Remember when you asked Slater what he was doing, and he said "Screech, I'm gonna put my beef in your taco, just like I said I would, BITCH!" Remember when Slater anally violated you for several minutes until he pulled out, spun you around, and blew his Mexican load all over your face? Remember when you start crying, and Slater became enraged and kicked you through the kitchen door and out into the cafeteria? Remember when all the kids started laughing at you? Remember when Mr. Belding came up to you and said "hey, hey, hey! What is going on here?" Remember when Mr. Belding put his arm around you, told you everything would be ok, and excorted you back to his office? Remember when you realized that everything would not be ok when Mr. Belding threw you on the ground and teabagged you?

18th March 2005 - 04:20:38 PM
12787 : Dner
Hey Dustin? Remember on E! True Hollywood Story: Saved by the Bell, how the interviewer made you cry like a stupid fucking jew when he mentioned the time you were raped during the filming of Saved by the Bell Hawaiian Style? Remember how he mentioned how you went into a Denny's bathroom? Remember how a man came out of the bathroom stall next to you and approched you? Remember how you felt "nervous" and "uneasy" when he stood behind you looking over your shoulder watching you piss out of your tiny cock? Remember how you said "excuse me?" to the man? Remember how you grabbed you by your greasy jew fro and smashed your face into the urinal? Remember how you fell on the floor crying like a bitch still pissing? Remember how you felt when you were covered in your own piss and blood? Remember how you felt when you saw that it was actually Dennis Haskins that had did this too you? Remember how he whistled for Mario Lopez to come out of the other stall? Remember how Dennis Haskins stepped on your face so Mario Lopez could jerk off his spicy latin cock to the sound of you screaming? Remember how he unloaded his cum in your bleeding head wound? Remember how Dennis yelled "my turn!" and pulled his pants down and jammed his unlubed cock in your ass? Remember how you bled as he pumped your ass with his massive principal cock? Remember how you screamed in pain and Mario Lopez kicked your teeth out and yelled "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID JEW! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!" Remember how Mario then fucked your toothless bleeding mouth while Dennis was still getting it on with your now torn asshole? Remember how Dennis pulled your arms back really hard and it made you scream while he shot his load in your bleeding ass? Remember how he said "how's a little HIV juice for you Screech?" Remember how he pulled out and squated over you? Remember how Dennis then sprayed his shit all over you? Remember how Mario came in your mouth and you gagged on his cum and threw up on the floor? Remember how Mario rubbed your face in the vomit? Remember how he turned you over on your back and shat on your face? Remember how he rubbed the shit in your hair and face and kick you in the mouth again? Remember how Dennis said "I'm sorry, let me clean you off?" Remember how Dennis Haskins then pissed all over you and Mario did the same? Remember how they kept kicking you in the head until you passed and then hog tied you with your own clothes? Remember how they then threw you in a bathroom stall naked and covered in their HIV infected bodily fluids and left you there for dead? Remember how you came too and saw Mark-Paul Gosselaar standing there? Remember how relieved you felt that he came to your rescue? Remember the horror you felt when whipped out his cock and finished you off? Remember how he carved his initials into your queer hairless boy chest so that you'd always be reminded of who did this too you? Remember how Dennis and Mario came from behind him with polaroid camera? Remember how they then carved their names in your chest? Remember how the then took a bunch of pictures of you laying there so they could jerk off to them later on? Remember how the only clear thought you had was how violated you felt? Remember how the feeling of violation made you erect and turned on? Remember how the then saw your tiny erect penis and then kicked you straight in the junk for being a jewish homo? Man, they really grilled you for the details in that interview!!

Deucer
Posted: Sep 13 2006, 06:42 AM
That reminded me of the zoo trip episode. Screech, remember the episode where you went on a field-trip to the zoo with Belding, Zack and Slater? Remember how Belding decided it would be funny to throw you into the gorilla enclosure? Remember how the gorillas eyed you up hungrily and started stroking their hardening schlongs? Remember how the silverback alpha-male grabbed you roughly and tore down your zubaz before plunging his mighty saber into your too-tight ass? Remember how you felt your colon tear horribly as the gorilla went in deeper? Remember how he mercilessly pounded your destroyed ass whilst tossing you around like a scrawny rag-doll? Remember how you noticed that all the other gorillas, as well as the chimps in the adjoining cage and Zack, Slater and Belding, were all stood around masturbating furiously at the spectacle? Remember how the hot stench of primal lust in the air reminded you of the time you were gang-raped in the boy's changing room by Ox, Slater and Marvin Nedick? Remember how the alpha-male roared mightily before gunning an astonishing amount of semen into your corrupted digestive tract? Remember how this was a sign for all of the others to climax, and a call of the wild went up as everyone ejaculated simultaneously? Remember how thick ropes of hot animal sperm arced through the air, drenching you thoroughly? Remember how the alpha-male withdrew, took a shit in his hand and mashed it into your jew-fro? Remember how the zookeeper later told you that, in gorilla society, this meant that the two of you were now married? Remember how you were forced to live with your new husband for 6 months until he finally suffered a heart attack one night while reaming your ass for the umpteenth time? You sure are one unlucky sonofabitch!

Dustins_Rim_Goblin
Posted: Apr 24 2006, 08:41 PM
Dustin, do you remember when the studio decided to get rid of the Kevin the robot prop and how you thought that Kevin was real? Remember how much you cried like little girl and your older castmates laughed at you so much that you ran into Milo's broom closet and cried for hours on end. Remember when you found some voodoo stuff of Milo's and you did voodoo to make Kevin come back to life. Remember how several day's later Kevin found you and you took him to your house. Remember how Kevin would knock you out and take advantage of you. Remember one time you woke up and found your chest cavity ripped open and Kevin was taking a dump in your chest? Remember how he saw you came to, so he took a baseball bat and knock you out? Remember how Kevin made you undress in front of him and stuck his cock in you and shot thick ropey loads in your rectum. Remember how you never questioned why a robot could take a dump or shoot thick ropey loads on you, or even why Kevin's penis looked like a real human cock? Remember how one time Kevin ass raped you, robbed your house, called you the stupidist faggot in the world and you never saw or heard from him again? Well I've got some news for you. What you didn't know is that when the studio threw out the Kevin suit, I was digging in the garbage cans. I found it and dressed in it with the full intention of engaging in gay sex with you and than humiliating you. I really got you that time you stupid fag. I mean come on dipshit, it was a fake robot, yet it was able to shit on you and it had a flesh penis. Are you that fucking retarded? The best part was when I took that shit in your chest and beat you with the bat. Remember how you kept crying for your mommy until I finally knocked you out cold. Remember how you woke up in a pool of blood and feces. Remember how I sat there with a grin on my fake robot face? Rmember when I said you had crabs and needed to shave your pubes. Remember how afer you shaved, I threw carburator fluid all over your penis and it burned. Remember how you curled into the fetal postition and cried. If Kevin the robot showed up at your doorstep, would you let him in? Damn I bet I can get you good again. Silly fag.

Deucer
Posted: Nov 7 2005, 08:18 PM
Screech, remember when Bayside High held a talent contest, and you entered with your stand-up routine? Remember how psyched you were about going on, because you thought you were God's gift to stand-up comedy? Remember how you took the stage and tore into your routine with gusto? Remember how your routine consisted primarily of toilet humor, blue language and insinuations that Zack and Slater were lovers? Remember how you also 'zinged' Mr. Belding, at one point calling him a "big bald cocksucker"?

Remember how you thought your routine was hot shit and was going down really well, even though two thirds of the audience left because they were offended either by your adult language or by the fact that your routine was utter shit? Remember how at one point you looked into the audience and saw Zack, Slater and Belding glaring at you in a deeply malicious manner? Remember how you just figured they were jealous of your talent, and went into a particularly lascivious routine about the three of them gang-banging in the locker room? Remember how, even though you left the stage to a shower of "BOO"s and various hurled objects, you were so deluded that you thought you'd gone down really well?

Remember when you came to school the next day, and people kept caling you names, but you just figured they were quoting from your act? Remember how you got your first indication that the act might not have gone down too well when you were standing in the lunch queue and Ox walked up and said "hey cock-taster, your act was fucking shit", and kicked you hard in the balls?

Remember how you got your second indication when, at the end of the day, Belding, Slater and Zack grabbed you in the parking lot, bundled you into Belding's car, and drove you out to an abandoned warehouse on the wrong side of town? Remember how they marched you inside and threw you on the ground? Remember how they started whaling on you? Remember how Zack said "we'll show you just how gay we are, faggot!!" and tore down your zubaz? Remember how he forced his un-lubed cock up your ass, while Slater stuck his smelly erection in your mouth? Remember how Belding stood there stroking his schlong to the sight of you being spit-roasted? Remember how Zack and Slater filled both ends of your alimentary canal with hot semen?

Remember how they withdrew and you fell to the ground, thinking the ordeal was over? Remember how your relief turned to horror when Belding pulled you up by the afro, stuck his erection in your face and said "STEP UP TO THE MIC, FUNNY-MAN!!!"? Remember how he tried to force his cock into your mouth, but you kept your mouth shut? Remember how Belding remedied this situation by kicking you in the mouth and knocking all your teeth out? Remember how he started throat-fucking you? Remember how you felt you were gonna throw up, but couldn't because Belding's wang was supressing your gag reflex? Remember how you moaned "VOINKFFF!!!" Remember how Belding bellowed like a hippopottamus and fired his seed down your throat? Remember how he threw you to the ground like a discarded toy, and you lay there, vomiting up a combination of bile, blood, semen and teeth? Remember how. to top it all off, Slater dropped trow and gave you a nice Taco Bell shower?

Remember how you heard them walking out and thought that at least now the ordeal was over? Remember how your relief again turned to horror when they came back in brandishing a boombox and a length of rope? Remember how Zack and Slater picked you up and tied you to a chair? Remember how Belding hit play on the boombox, which started playing "Stuck in the Middle" by Steeler's Wheel? Remember how Belding started to dance around you, like in the scene from Reservoir Dogs? Remember how instead of dousing you with petrol, the three of them gave you a golden shower? Remember how Belding suddenly produced a knife and sliced off your gonzo nose?

Remember how they kicked you over and walked out, leaving you for dead? Remember how you passed out? Remember how you came to a while later, awoken by the sound of people entering the building? Remember how you thought you were to be rescued? Remember how your relief once again turned to horror when you discovered that the intruders were a gang of sex-crazed hobos looking for spare ass? Remember how they ravaged your battered form in an orgy culminating in all of them bukkake-ing you? Remember how they drenched you with their STD-ridden semen?

Remember how you said "ZOINKS!"?

I guess now you'll think twice before insulting your fellow cast members in your stand-up routine! Or maybe you won't...


RememberWhen
Posted: Jul 18 2005, 04:50 PM
Hey Screech,

Remember that Twilight Zone episode of Saved By The Bell?

Remember how, in the episode, you built your very own time machine out of old cardboard boxes from your time in the hobo episode? Remember how you christened it "Zubaz 1"? Remember how everybody laughed at your invention citing how it had no electricity or buttons?

Remember how you dived into your time machine saying "I'll show you!" and you "disappeared" to god knows who knows "when"?

Remember how you really wanted to get back to the swinging sixties when Belding was a up-and-coming (literally and metaphorically) sports star? Remember how you wanted to feel his big jock schlong before he lost all his hair and became the "Hey, hey, hey, what's going on here" jerk he was back then?

Remember how you "arrived" in Dallas, Texas and you thought you'd have a peek behind the Grassy Knoll -- remember how you saw Belding there with a rifle? Remember how he pointed it to you and it suddenly went off?

...

Remember how you suddenly awoke and realised it was all a dream, within a dream? Remember how your face felt sticky as if someone had dumped glue all over your face?

Remember how when you refocused your eyes you saw Belding's closed eyes of satisfaction as he dumped his final drops of schlong milk all over your face?

Remember how you couldn't explain how there was a black-and-white picture of Belding in full cop uniform smiling with a rifle in the background with a big cheesy grin whilst he stood next to Elvis and Sam from the TV show Quantum Leap?

You sure were on a lot of drugs back then...


26th February 2005 - 05:24:09 PM
12519 : Rocco
I just watched a christmas episode of sbtb where the gang runs into a homeless family at the mall. Screech and Zack run into the vagrant in the malls bathroom where screech is trying to dry his wet pants. Wet, because Zack had pissed on him a few minutes earlier. The bum was scrubbing his armpits in the sink and had an obvious erection as soon as he saw Screech! To brighten up the mood Zack told the bum he was going to give him an early christmas present and ran out of the bathroom locking the door behind him. The bum quickly dropped trow and jumped on Screech beating him unmercifully! He first used Screech's fro like a sponge to clean his ass with then he began pounding his ass finishing off with a nice donkey punch redering screech unconsious. To top off the Xmax spirit he crapped on his head then unlocked the door and went on his way. The rest of the gang entered the bathroom and laughed and sang Xmax songs while screech lay on floor moaning and bleeding with a big smelly shit dripping off him!

15th November 2004 - 01:07:58 AM
11049 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you were playing your robot, Kevin, at chess? Remember when you beat him a couple of times and Kevin got really pissed at you? Remember when you kept celebrating and made your robot leave because you told him you wanted to take a nap afterward? Remember when instead of taking a nap, you pulled out your Bayside yearbook and started masturbating while looking at pictures of Zack, Slater, and Mr. Belding? Remember when Kevin walked back into your room and caught you playing with yourself? Remember when Kevin became enraged and lunged at your neck with his metal claws? Remember when he pulled down his robot pants and cut off yours? Remember when he inserted his robotic metal penis into your buttholes? Remember he grabbed your abdomen roughly with his metal claws and started bouncing you up and down on his metal woodrow? Remember when you cried out in pain and he told to to "shut the fuck up, faggot!" Remember when he pulled out and said he was about to blow his oily load? Remember when he told you to open his mouth and then blew his oily robotic load on your tongue? Remember when you were relieved that Kevin was finally done with you? Remember when you quickly learned that he was not done with you when he started smacking you in the face with his metal claws and told you that because he was a robot, he could do you until his battery supplies ran out? Remember how disparaged you felt when he said that and you quickly realized that maybe you shouldn't have installed a metal penis on Kevin? Your robot really got you good that time!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Coach Sonski!

Remember Coach Sonski? He was the wrestling coach and taught Shop Class at Bayside. I seem to recall that he was also a rapid homosexual and used to frequently hook up with Ox to spit-roast Screech!

Here is Coach Sonski talking to the wrestling team:




The asian kid in this picture really wants a piece of Slater. Look at him stare at Slater's chest:


Here's Coach Sonski in Shop Class:

Coach Rizzo!

Remember Coach Rizzo? He was one of Bayside's athletic coaches and an occasional substitute teacher. He was the substitue teacher in the episode where Slater's pet lizard "Artie" died. As I recall, he dropped trow and teabagged Screech in front of an English class while all of the students cheered him on.