Important Questions for Diamond - Part VIII

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Important Questions for Diamond - Part VII

Here are more of my important questions for Diamond that have been posted over at the new Dustin Diamond Love forum:

Thu Apr 26, 2012 8:14 am

Diamond, remember that episode where Zack implanted a subliminal message on a tape to make everyone believe he was a "young Tom Cruise"? Remember when Mr. Belding gave an audio tape to the NBC executives before you were cast in Saved By The Bell: The College years to make them believe you were a "gay Jack Nicholson"? Remember when the executives ass-raped you while you were trying to say your lines and then cast you in the spin-off series? Hey, I guess Belding's trick worked out in your favor!



Thu Apr 26, 2012 5:36 am

Diamond, remember that incredibly queer mid-late 1980s cartoon, "My Little Pony"? I just discovered that there are many adult dudes who are fanatic followers of My Little Pony and whom called themselves "bronies." These fruits apparently have group meetings to have dumpster parties, lodge their toys up each other's asses, etc. Please confirm that you are a bronie and worked the bathroom stall gloryholes at the last My Little Pony convention with Mr. Powers.

See: http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2012/04/25/my-little-pony
http://www.wired.com/underwire/2011/06/bronies-my-little-ponys/
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/2012/04/bronies-let-their-my-little-pony-flag-fly.html

Wed Apr 25, 2012 6:22 pm

rocco wrote:Diamond, remember when you went to see the 1984 movie the "Karate Kid"? Remember how the audience was full of hooligans who rooted for Johnny Lawrence to kick the shit out of Daniel LaRusso? Remember how you liked LaRusso and cheered him on, especially during the karate championship where he crane kicked Johnny Lawrence in the face? Remember how the rest of the audience booed and you felt a massive bare ass on you then heard and smelled a heinous fart? Remember when you were being pummeled and saw that Sensei John Kreese was yelling at Dutch to finish off your hooknosed ass? Remember how you had taken a few karate lessons and began showing off a few moves? Remember when Dutch kicked you in the nuts then roundhoused your face? Remember how John Kreese screamed for blood and Johnny Lawrence stepped in and swept your leg? Rememeber how you went down with a thud? Remember how the audience of the theater cheered this awesome attack? Remember when you got up slowly and went into the crane position? Remember when Johnny Lawrence drop kicked you in the face knocking out two of your teeth? Remember when he was declared the winner and the crowd went berserk? You sure learned not to trust what you see in the movies that time Dman!

ROCCO



I like it how random dudes always seem to manage to sneak up and Diamond doesn't even notice them until their asses are pressed against his face right before releasing smelly farts!

Hey, is Dutch the guy on the far right in the photo? Whomever it is, I remember him being a dick and laughing at Daniel LaRusso when LaRusso was injured.



Sun Apr 22, 2012 8:51 am

Kurt_Steinberg wrote:Diamond, why do you look like such a douchebag in this photo? Is your shirt made out of old sirca-1960s hotel draperies that you found in a dumpster?

Does anyone else get the feeling that Mr. Tuttle took this photo and that his pants were down around his ankles and he was masturbating vigorously when the photo was snapped?



Sat Apr 21, 2012 3:55 am

Diamond, why do you look like such a douchebag in this photo? Is your shirt made out of old sirca-1960s hotel draperies that you found in a dumpster?

Thu Apr 19, 2012 8:31 pm

Diamond, are you and your gay lover, Michael Oliver Ponce, still a hot gay couple? He must be excited about his star role in the upcoming Alien prequel movie, Prometheus, where he plays one of those hideous aliens without wearing any makeup.



Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:00 pm

rocco wrote:It seems I had some bad info as the cruise through Cleveland is actually on the Cuyahoga River which is most famous for being the river the "caught on fire" due to the level of pollution in it. This along with the garbage barge should make for a rank stink that Diamond and Ponce will feel at home in. Unfortunately this cruise does not make it to New Jersey but winds up in Lake Erie. I'm not sure about dumpsters being on board but I've been told Ponce is more interested in lounging on piles of sweet garbage while sunbathing.



I thought that all garbage barges eventually made their way to New Jersey to dump their garbage!

Someone needs to make an entire ship out of a dumpster! Diamond sure would love that. He could enjoy laying on rotting food while being ass-raped by a homeless man who calls the dumpster "home." Also, rats infects infected with the Bubonic Plague could nibble at Diamond's hook nose as he is being raped. Sounds like a nice vacation for Diamond.



Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:30 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, can you confirm that with all the states passing gay marriage laws you and your queer companion, Micheal Oliver, are thinking of getting hitched? Is it true Ponce has already been planning the honeymoon and is especially interested in going on a honeymoon cruise? Is it true as both of you are broke dirtbags he had to keep it cheap? Is it true he was really excited to find a cruise on a garbage barge that cruises the Ohio river though lovely Cleveland for only $75 a person? Is it true you and Ponce have been dreaming of your honeymoon consisting of you two lovebirds humping and farting on each other on piles of garbage? You sure are living the high life Dman!


ROCCO



Is there a dumpster on that garbage barge? If so, Diamond and Ponce may not want to leave! Maybe they will stay on the garbage barge until it reaches its final destination in New Jersey. I'm certain that there are lots of dumpsters for those two gay lovebirds in Jersey.



Tue Apr 17, 2012 5:30 pm

Diamond, when did you legally change your name from "Max Goldberg," your birth name, to "Dustin Diamond," your gay porn name?



Mon Apr 16, 2012 7:09 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, remember when you were in the band "Salty the Pocketknife" and you and the band had just finished recording "Buttfuck Junction"? Remember how you decided that even though your gay lover and bands bassist, Evan Stone, had written all the lyrics you demanded a writing credit as you had told Evan about this move Mr. B and Slater pulled on you during the SBTB days that Mr. B had called "Buttfuck Junction"? Is it true Evan refused to give you any credit as he felt your mentioning some super erotic queer sex move had nothing to do with his masterpiece? Is it true this caused your relationship to sour and resulted in the breakup of Salty? Get back to me quick on this one Dman!


ROCCO



Diamond, whatever happened with Evan Stone? Did he used to rub his bald head all over your tiny balls and ass? You were a good couple and it was a shame to see things end. Is it true that you would suck him off during your band's intermission and let him jam drum sticks up your asshole?



Fri Apr 13, 2012 10:26 am

Diamond, we've all heard the rumors that you are hung like a gnat. Please confirm that it typically takes you 45 minutes to take a piss because your tiny cock can only expel a tiny stream of urine at a time.



Thu Apr 12, 2012 6:08 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, remember when Mr. B knocked up Violet Bickerstaff? Remember how he came to you and said that his super potent Belding seed had gotten his ass in trouble once again? Remember how this was shortly after Violet's parents had banned her from dating you because you were an ass-clown? Remember how mad you began to get as Belding started going on and on about how annoyed he was with his "king kong principal dong"? Remember how he had already knocked up Kelly Kaposwki twice that year, but she had quickly gotten abortions? Remember how you felt double hurt that time as you felt Violet had cheated on you and so had your gay lover, Mr. Belding? Remember when Mr. B told you he needed you to take the blame as the school board was sniffing around and he was worried he would get fired? Remember how he offered to give your zoinker pleasure if you would help him? Remember how you said yes because you idolized Mr. B and couldn't wait to have your zoinker pleasured? Remember how you went to violets home and told her parents you had knocked up their daughter? Remember how enraged her father got and he ripped off your Zubaz and began raping and strangling you? Remember how you kept screaming "Zoinks"? Remember how Mr. B just happened to show up and asked Mr. Bickerstaff what was going on? Remember how he was told you had knocked up Violet? Remember how Mr. B said he would take care of it and then got a tire iron from his car and as Mr. Bickerstaff plugged your butthole Mr. B beat your tiny ballsack? Remember how you passed out and Mr. B went diarrhea on you? Remember how the next day Mr. B suspended you from Bayside for a month and after that denied all knowledge of the incident including the promised "zoinker pleasure"? Remember how sad that made you? Remember how Violet soon left Bayside for good and the outcome of her and Mr. B's child remains unknown to this day? You sure got screwed over that time Dman!


ROCCO



Great recap! Belding sure was a stud to those high school girls. I bet that lifting weights in the men's room like he would often do made Belding really horny. He probably wanted to drain his nuts into Diamond's asshole but chose Violet instead when Diamond was nowhere to be found. I can imagine Belding getting it on with Violet in a bathroom stall in between classes. So from a certain point of view, Diamond really was responsible for knocking up Violet because he wasn't available to service Belding's sexual desires at the time!



Tue Apr 10, 2012 10:00 pm

Diamond, as I was waiting to get my hair cut the other day, I was reading GQ or Men's Health, or some similar magazine, when I cam across a small blurb about Japanese pro baseball player Hideki Matsui. Matsui is apparently some type of porn freak and owns a whopping 55,000 different hardcore porn videos! I would bet that he has an extensive gay porn section and has probably rubbed a few out while thinking about Belding really giving it to you. If he offered $15 would you eat sushi out of his asshole?

http://sportsbybrooks.com/hideki-matsui-has-55000-porno-tape-collection-16872



Mon Apr 09, 2012 11:31 am

Diamond, remember when you found out that you had Super-AIDS? Is it true that deranged bug-chasers rape you every day hoping to contract the deadly virus? Man, there are some fucked-up depraved queers hot for your ass!



Mon Apr 09, 2012 3:30 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, remember when your agent told you he had some great news? Remember when he told you that he had booked you a show in Las Vegass? Remember how happy this made you and you screamed "Zoinks!" which really annoyed your agent? Remember when he told you all the arrangements were made and to have a great time? Remember how you thought you would probably be at the MGM grand or the Bellagio in front of thousands of fans? Remember how confused you were when you saw your airline ticket was to Fargo, North Dakota? Remember how you assumed that that would be a quick layover stop and you would be able to sign some autographs for some adoring fans? Remember how it turned out your flight into Fargo was your only flight and you were met by two angry guys named Bruiser and Buck who refused to carry your Zubaz suitcase and led you to a pickup truck? Remember how they said there was no room for you in the cab and you had to ride in the bed? Remember how it was 10 degrees out and you almost froze to death? Remember when you pulled up to a little crappy club named "Las Vegass"? Remember when the truck stopped, then the truck was slammed in reverse, then after going back a few yards slammed into drive causing you to fly out the back of the pickup bed? Remember when your Zubaz suitcase landed on your head and exploded open? Remember how your extra Zubaz pants along with about 15 gay porn magazines flew out and onto the parking lot? Remember how you thought this was no way to treat a major celebrity such as yourself and headed into the club planning on telling them off? Remember when once inside the club you were immediately attacked and thrown up onto the stage? Remember when you noticed the audience was all dudes dressed in leather and bondage outfits and their cocks were all out? Remember when the announcer announced that "Dustin screech buttplug Diamond" was in the house? Remember when a large man ran up on stage and tore off your Zubaz and began having anal sex with you while German Death Metal music played? Remember how the crowd was whipped into a frenzy and you felt people kicking and punching you while also shoving their cocks in every orifice of your body? Remember how this went on all night until you were finally tossed out into the parking lot covered in piss, shit, cum, and blood? Remember how the same pickup showed up and gave you the reverse ride back to the airport where you were once again flung out of the pickup bed onto the curb of the airport? Remember how you were quickly arrested at the airport because you had no pants on? Remember when you uttered "Zoinks" over and over and were so annoying that they finally stuck you on your plane wearing a garbage bag for pants? Remember when you got home and went back to your home under a bridge with your lover Michael Oliver? Remember when Michael asked how the show was you told him you killed it and the show was a huge success? You sure learned about life on the road that time Dman!


ROCCO



Remember when Diamond started crying because the August 2010 copy of the gay porn magazine, "Queer Anal Rimmers," got mud on it when Diamond fell out of the pickup bed?

The sad thing is that this was the best gig Diamond has had in years!



Sun Apr 08, 2012 10:33 pm

Diamond, remember that time when Mr. Belding hid Easter eggs around your house in Port Washington and told you to go on an Easter egg hunt for them? Remember how instead of doing the traditional thing of boiling eggs and painting them, Belding took a massive dump and rolled up small turds and hid them around your house? Remember when Hound Dog saw Belding hiding the brown "shit eggs" and then started taking dumps all over your house? Remember how it took months to find all of the shit eggs? Remember how this stunt resulted in shit stains all over your house, ruining the carpet, and causing the house to smell like ass? Remember when a health inspector visited your house for some unexplained reason and characterized the interior of your house as a toxic dump and assessed a $50k fine that you paid off in installments by sucking off the health inspector and other random dudes over the next five years? You sure got what you deserved that time, you hook-nosed rim goblin! How dare a Jew like you celebrate Easter - what were you thinking?



Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:28 am

Diamond, please confirm that the reason why you wear a neatly trimmed beard is so that you can hide the scars on your face from all of the times Belding put out his cigarettes on your face. Also, remember when Belding would smoke a pipe and then dump the red-hot pipe ashes into your Jew-fro and would then beat you in the head with the pipe? Remember when Belding also tried to poke your eye out with the pipe a few times?



Wed Apr 04, 2012 6:37 pm

Diamond, remember when you asked Belding to purchase for your birthday a VHS copy of "Kazaam," the awful 1996 movie where Shaquille O'neal plays a genie? Remember when you told Belding that was your favorite movie in the entire world? Remember when Belding said that you were the biggest faggot in the history of the world and then anally raped you while muttering that he hated queers?



Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:43 am

Diamond, it is common knowledge that your possessions have shit stains on them, including your clothing, toothbrush, hairbrush, soap, etc. This got me wondering - do your teeth also have permanent shit stains on them? Random dudes must have shit and gone diarrhea in your mouth thousands of times over the years, and that can't be good for your teeth. Or are your teeth white from all of the times your gargle with a mouth full of jizz?

Get back to me soon, buddy, as this information is of vital importance!



Tue Apr 03, 2012 10:14 am

Diamond, remember that episode where you woke up in the middle of the night because your bed was shaking? Remember when you turned on the lamp next to your bed and saw that Becky the Duck was jerking off Hound Dog with one of her wings? Remember when Hound Dog climaxed and shot his canine load all over your bedsheets? Remember how you were shocked but went back to sleep? Remember when you woke up the next day and Mrs. Powers was yelling at you? Remember how there were cum stains all over your Return of the Jedi comforter that were caused by Hound Dog? Remember when she blamed you and called you a "stupid Jew faggot???" Remember when she dropped her pants and queefed right in your face? You sure learned a lot of things in that episode! I hadn't realized that a duck was capable of jerking off a dog until I saw Saved By The Bell that day!



Sun Apr 01, 2012 10:23 am

Diamond, remember when you went to the nurse's off on April 1, 1992 because you had a sore throat? Remember how the nurse was that hot one with black hair whom Slater and Zack liked? Remember when the nurse said that she had a Vitamin B-12 shot for you that would clear up your sore throat? Remember when she injected the shot into your arm and then Zack and Slater jumped out from behind a curtain in the nurse's office and yelled, "Gotcha! April Fools! That was an Ebola shot, not Vitamin B-12!" Remember how you went into cardiac arrest as the deadly Ebola virus began spreading into your blood system? Remember how Zack, Slater, and the hot nurse started laughing uncontrollable as you fell to the floor? Remember when they d-p'ed the nurse right in front of you and then both pulled out at the same time and blew their loads into your Jew-fro? Remember when Belding walked into the nurse's office and said, "Hey, hey, hey, what is going on here????" Remember when Belding looked over and saw you struggling to breath and started laughing? Remember when Belding dropped his pants and ripped a wet fart in your face while he said, "This will help you breathe?" Remember how his rank fart entered into your lungs and somehow managed to kill the Ebola virus? Remember when Belding then pissed all over your face and Jew-fro and then gave you a soccer kick to the face? That sure was a good April Fool's joke!



Thu Mar 29, 2012 12:48 pm

rocco wrote:Diamond, can you confirm that the Jet Blue pilot who went crazy on a JFK to LAS flight was watching episodes of "Saved by the Bell The New Class" in the cockpit? Is it true that he was pleasuring himself to the super homoerotic episode where you and Mr. B work at the country club for the summer? Is it true you rubbing lotion over Mr. B's body caused him to blow a huge load on the cockpit window, then go batshit crazy yelling about Al Queda and other nefarious groups and deeds? Is it true this was all caused by your queer activities on one of the most deviant shows ever to air on Saturday morning TV? You sure fucked up that guys life Dman!


ROCCO



That would be this episode - it is hard not to rub one out while watching this homoerotic scene!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9ySgawuVvA

Note that Belding is only slightly fat in this clip, just a few years before he added another 100 pounds of pure body fat!



Thu Mar 29, 2012 5:17 am

Diamond, is it true that you have been waiting for the effective implementation of Obamacare so that you can get surgery on your prolapsed rectum, get your AIDS drugs an no cost to you, and finally get all of the items removed which have been shoved up your ass over the years? Are you worried now that Obama's lawyers have looked overmatched and ill-prepared while getting their asses handed to them during their arguments and Q-and-A in front of the Supreme Court?

Maybe you should sell more t-shirts, this time to fix your ass!



Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:06 am

Diamond, do you remember the time when Belding leased the northwest corner of the Bayside campus to both a Taco Bell and an Exxon Gas Station? Remember how Belding did this to raise revenue and because he enjoyed going diarrhea and having sex with random dudes in the men's rooms at the Taco Bell and the Exxon? Remember how Belding decided not to use the lease revenue for education purposes, but instead used the revenue to construct a rest stop on the school's campus where tired drivers and truckers could stop, go to the bathroom and have anal sex with you and other queer students? Belding sure was depraved in that episode!



Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:01 am

Diamond, do you remember the time when you were taking a dump in the teacher's bathroom at Bayside and all of the other stalls and urinals were being used at the same time? Remember how Belding had recently drunk several large cups of Mountain Dew at the Taco Bell located on the Bayside campus? Remember when Belding saw your Zubaz around your ankles below the stall door and quickly realized which stall you were using? Remember when Belding kicked open the door and took a piss all over you as you sat on the toilet expelling the contents of your bowels? Remember how Belding had to go so badly that he pissed all over you for 105 seconds, which he claimed was his all-time piss record? Remember how you spent the rest of the day wearing your piss-soaked Zubaz? Remember how this was one of teh best days of your entire life? Man, do you suck!



Tue Mar 27, 2012 3:57 am

Diamond, remember that episode where Mr. Belding tried to murder you? That was the funniest episode of the entire series - I couldn't stop laughing!



Mon Mar 26, 2012 10:18 am

Diamond, do you keep a daily score of all of the dangerous STDs you have contracted over the years? Is it true that you have created a game where you took the board from Belding's Monopoly game and wrote the game of different STDs and sexaul ailments you endure in the place of the property names? Is it true that the old "Baltic Avenue" has been replaced with "Public Lice," "Electric Company" has been replaced with "The Free Clinic," "Marvin Gardens" has been replaced with "Prolapsed Rectum," and "Boardwalk" has been replaced with "Full Blown AIDS"? Man, you are one sick, demented fuck!

Fri Mar 23, 2012 7:11 pm

Diamond, is it true that Belding's farts release more energy than a neutron bomb?



Wed Mar 21, 2012 10:26 am

rocco wrote:
I had written a lengthy remember when that covered the Hawaiian Epsiodes. I wish I had saved it. I do remember a pineapple being shoved up Diamonds asshole and that he was raped on the plane ride home after being held a sexual slave by the Papuku tribe for quite awhile. Good times for the Dman!


ROCCO



I am almost positive that the one I am thinking of was from Assvomit. We lost some gold when our forum was deleted and when Diamond took down the guestbook at dustindiamond.com.

I remember a great Rocco one where Diamond was a drug mule. Too bad that one is also lost.



Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:50 am

assvomit wrote:

rocco wrote:Diamond, can you confirm that you are currently saving up for a trip to Hawaii? Is it true you miss the well hung Chief of the Papuku tribe and wish to visit him and Kelly's uncle? Is it true you are hoping to freeload at Kelly's uncles hotel while hooking up with him and various members of the Papuku tribe? Can you confirm you have saved up nearly $.80 so far? You sure are a deviant faggot Diamond!


ROCCO



DMAN! is it true that the well hung Cheif of the papuku tribe made you wear a coconutt bra and hula skirt? is it true that members of the warring tribe shot you with blow darts, brought you back to their island via canoes and anally raped you until the moon was waning? is it true that they tied you to a stake and lit your tiny bean bag on fire while they danced around like wild enjuns? is it also safe to further deduce that they all took turns pissing on the skin tag you refer to as a nuttsak to put the fire out after it was horribly burned? is it true that you cried the whole time and begged to be let go? is it true that they they saw this as a sign of weekness and further pumelled your stretched bung with massive polynesian man meat?

goddamn dman, im sure you can't wait to get back!



Wasn't there a remember when story where Chief Pupaku put his hot peace pipe out on Diamond's tiny cock? The Chief sure was a raging queer!



Sun Mar 18, 2012 11:56 pm

assvomit wrote:DMAN!

I would love to watch you get dropped off in Harlem while you are dressed up in blackface like your shitty chess videos. It would be great if you were dropped off and racial slurs screamed and then we could watch at a distance while the negros beat you into a bloody pulp!


get back to me quick if you want to make this happen!



That sounds like a great way for them to celebrate Kwanza!

Guestbook

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Important Questions for Diamond - Part VI

Here are some of my important questions for Diamond that have been posted over at the new Dustin Diamond Love forum:

Sun Mar 18, 2012 10:36 am

Diamond, please confirm that this photo was taken when the Bayside girl opened the bathroom door while you were taking a piss. It looks like they all had a nice laugh when they saw your baby-sized cock!

Sat Mar 17, 2012 11:53 pm

Diamond, please confirm that Belding celebrated St. Patrick's Day today by intentionally infecting himself with an intestinal virus so that he would be able to produce green diarrhea caused by the presence of bile in his stool. Is it true that you think that his green diarrhea tastes better than a Shamrock Shake from McDonald's?



Sat Mar 17, 2012 12:03 am

Diamond, please confirm that Belding is a die-hard Republican and as of a couple days ago was leaning toward voting for Romney in the upcoming primary although he was still undecided. Is it true that Belding got really mad when he saw that Santorum wanted to outlaw all pornography, as he is a huge fan of gay porn? Remember when Belding took out his aggression on you by stomping on your head and kicking you in the back until he heard some ribs snap? Did he finish you off with his typical donkey punch ass-rape?



Fri Mar 16, 2012 8:42 pm

rocco wrote:Dman, can you confirm your breath smells like Michael Oliver's asshole?

ROCCO



It is true - I read about it on a bathroom stall door in Reno, NV. Apparently Diamond burped while in line at an Arby's and the entire restaurant had to be shut down while a Hazmat team hosed down everything in the place! An elderly man may have gone into cardiac arrest as a result of the rank odor.



Thu Mar 15, 2012 7:24 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, I just saw that gallagher had a heart attack. I'm sure you remember the time you went to one of his shows and he called you onstage. Remember how you strutted up thinking you were a huge celebrity? Remember how less like a celebrity you felt when Gallagher attacked you and ripped off your Zubaz then crushed your tiny balls and cock with one of his massive mallets? That was a good show Dman! You should visit Gallagher in the hospital to cheer him up. Hopefully he and Gallagher Too would be up to giving your ass a good spit roasting!


ROCCO



Remember how Mylo was at the Gallagher show sitting in the front row waiting for the Gallagher to smash watermelons? Remember when Mylo partaked in the assault on Diamond by anally violating Diamond with a mop he snuck into the show?



Mon Mar 12, 2012 12:48 pm

Diamond, you turned 35 earlier in the year. When do you think you'll finally go through puberty and grow hair on your balls and ass?



Mon Mar 12, 2012 7:32 am

Diamond, why are you such a homo?



Mon Mar 12, 2012 1:52 am

Diamond, is it true that you recently contacted singer Chuck Berry to ask him if you can be his IT guy? Remember how cool you thought it was when you found out that Chuck Berry had secretly installed cameras in the bathroom stalls at his restaurant to spy on women going to the bathroom and thought that he should expand his surveillance to capture video of random dudes pissing and taking dumps in the men's room? Remember when you rang his doorbell and he invited you into his home and asked you to take a seat? Remember how he had secretly coated the seat in Krazy Glue and your Zubaz became stuck to the seat and you couldn't get up? Remember when you yelled out "Zoinks!" and then Chuck Berry dropped his pants to reveal his 88 year old limp cock? Remember when you said that he was so old he would need a forklift to get an erection? Remember how mad your rude comment made Chuck Berry? Remember when he got even with you by pissing all over you and then farting in your face? Remember when he said "Yeah! Smell my fart!" which was his infamous catchphrase from one of his homemade porn tapes that were confiscated by the police during the mid-90s? Remember when he got out his guitar and smacked you across the face with it and then started singing "Johnny B. Goode" while doing his famous duck walk on your zoinker? You sure learned about a rock-and-roll legend that time!



Fri Mar 09, 2012 11:23 am

Diamond, I have heard that some people have a "bucket list" of things they want to do or see before they die. Is it true that you have a "cum bucket list" of dudes you want to rape you before you die? Man, you sure are one demented/deranged queer!



Wed Mar 07, 2012 12:12 pm

Diamond, are you still on a quest to contract Super-AIDS? I heard that you have been visiting rest stops, gas station bathrooms, and the men's room at many area Taco Bells to have unprotected butt sex with JM J Bullock and other random dudes for over a decade but have not yet contracted the Super-AIDS. I think that it is time for you to take a vacation to South Africa or possibly even Zimbabwe - you're sure to encounter new strains of AIDS! Man, if you thought Mylo's skin was dark, you're going to get to on with lots of dudes who are as dark as night - I bet you'll have quite a bit of fun getting it on in a shanty-town with HIV+ dudes!



Mon Mar 05, 2012 7:27 pm

rocco wrote:Diamond, remember when Mr. Belding entered coach sonski's swim class where you were fluttering around in the shallow end while wearing water wings? Remember when the Big Bopper saw you and immediatley got annoyed at your Zubaz brand water wings, as they were slowly taking on water and were making you swim even more retarded then normal? Remember when he yelled " Cannonball" and jumped directly on your head? Remember when your head smashed against the bottom of the pool and you suffered a concussion? Remember when Mr. Belding ripped off your Zubaz swimsuit and the entire class saw and laughed at your baby cock, which was even smaller then normal because of the cold water? Remember when bubbles began coming up from under the water and one of Mr. B's farts hit you in the face causing you to gag? Remember how the Big Bopper did one of his trademark laughs, then climbed out of the water and went back to his office? Remember how Coach Sonski gave you an F for the class because you engaged in to much "horseplay"? You sure learned about the ins and outs of swimming that time!


ROCCO



Correct me if I am wrong, but wasn't the pool water rendered toxic as a result of Belding's fart? I recall it turning brown and then the pool had to be completely drained. Diamond was later sent a bill for several thousand dollars, the cost of filling the pool back up with chlorinated water.



Mon Mar 05, 2012 3:31 pm

Diamond, remember that time when you asked Belding if he was going to attend a rally to support gay marriage? Remember when Belding replied, "Why would I attend that bullshit? Those dirty faggots shouldn't be allowed to marry?" Remember when you replied that it seemed like a harsh viewpoint from a gay man such as himself? Remember when Belding responded by informing you that he wasn't gay but that you were? Remember when Belding also said that "prison rules" apply at Bayside and that he wasn't gay for raping you, although you were gay for "allowing" yourself to be raped? Remember when Belding then proceeded to violently ass-rape you as punishment for annoying him?



Mon Mar 05, 2012 12:28 pm

Diamond, remember that episode when you joined the Big Brothers program and attempted to molest a 15-year-old kid? Remember when that 15-year-old kid turned the tables and ended up molesting you? You sure were a faggot that time!



Mon Mar 05, 2012 12:27 pm

Diamond, remember when people used to yell out "Screech!" whenever they would see you in the men's room at the rest stop? Remember how now people simply refer to you as "the creepy weirdo who stares at guy pissing at the urinals?" Which nickname do you prefer?



Mon Mar 05, 2012 8:22 am

Diamond, is it true that your rectum has been torn so many times during anal rapes that it no longer shuts completely? Do you use a butt plug or a wine bottle cork to prevent your fecal matter from dripping out of your torn asshole and onto your Zubaz? Please get back to me soon, buddy!



Sun Mar 04, 2012 8:26 am

Shitstainsandwich wrote:

assvomit wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=daPjD4Ds3f8


I love watching this clip, i have busted massive nutts watching a large blackman threaten to beat the dmans fat ass! I watch it over and over again visualizing the ass beating....


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piwIkbb1oso

I also love listening to harvey trash talk diamond calling him a peice of shit over and over.... got it gets me hot and hard!!!!!!



I also like how he threatened to "Wear his ass out". Im pretty sure after the conflict Harvey did exactly that too Diamond.



I loved it when Harvey said that if Screech was on fire, he wouldn't even piss on him.



Sun Mar 04, 2012 3:53 am

Diamond, is it true that during the hot summer months Belding will often sit naked on your couch with the air conditioning turned off and all of the windows closed? Is it also true that you enjoy burying your face in his sweaty crotch and licking his smelly butthole while he sweats profusely, masturbates vigorously, and drops ass? How many times did this happen before your couch began reeking of the smell of ass? Even though this last happened years ago do you still sniff the rank couch cushions while rubbing one out?



Sat Mar 03, 2012 8:39 am

Diamond, remember that time when Belding was super horny and told you to pull down your Zubaz because he wanted to suck your cock? Remember when you eagerly dropped trou to expose your baby-sized penis? Remember how Belding got mad and yelled out, "What the fuck is that tiny thing?" Remember when Belding was able to quell him horniness by beating you to a bloody pulp and then raping you yet again? Remember when he yelled for Mylo the janitor to come in and Mylo raped you, infecting you with Ebola? You sure learned about the downside of a tiny cock that time!



Fri Mar 02, 2012 10:49 pm

Diamond, remember when you saw this video clip and asked Mylo the Janitor is the Uncle Tom in the clip was his dad? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xdu0kcMMZ3s Remember when Mylo and Hound Dog double-teamed you to teach you a lesson for your racially insensitive remark?



Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:21 pm

Diamond, remember that time when Belding stopped washing his ass for a week because it cut into time when he could have been eating chocolate donuts? Remember how a thick crust of shit had dried onto his ass hair by the end of the week? Remember he ass-raped you as usual and then stomped on your head until you were unconscious and then squatted over your face and shook loose fecal chips from his matted ass hair onto your face? Remember how you several pounds of fecal chips landed in your mouth as you lay unconscious, nearly suffocating you to death?



Thu Mar 01, 2012 1:56 pm

Diamond, remember that time when the bodyguards of your biological father, singer Neil Diamond, viciously ass-raped you while Neil watched and jerked off? Your sure do have a shitty father-son relationship with your dad!



Thu Mar 01, 2012 6:09 am

rocco wrote:Kurt, I think in that bottom pic Farley had ripped some serious ass! Mike Meyers looks stunned and the other guy looks disgusted! I bet the Dman would have loved to have gotten a hold of those so he could have breathed in Farleys fart smell from the thin Zubaz fabric!


ROCCO



The funny thing is that Farley actually used to prank call people by farting in the phone! See: http://nymag.com/arts/tv/features/47548/index6.html

Tonight, sprawled on a couch a couple of feet from the table, Chris Farley and Adam Sandler alternately listen to the writers debate and cackle at some private joke. Sandler picks up a phone and makes prank calls, talking in a silly elderly woman’s voice.

Now it’s Farley’s turn. Obese, sweating, dressed in a flannel shirt and a white knit skullcap that makes him look like a grunge Muslim, Farley dials. “Excuse me,” he says into the phone, “did you hear that? Was it a clap of thunder?” Then he holds the receiver against his butt, unleashes a prodigious fart, and quickly hangs up. The writers laugh louder than they have all night. Except Downey, who’s slowly wagging his head.

“Ah, Jim!” Farley exclaims. “That’s been a big laugh since sixth grade! Belushi farted, didn’t he? Bottom line, farts are funny!”

Downey seems unmoved.

“It’ll never happen again,” Farley says, but he can’t contain a giggle. “It’s the goddamn burgers! Lori Jo ordered up about 50 burgers! Jesus!”

“Well, Chris,” Downey says, mock solemn. “Look around. All these people are laughing at you. Not with you. And they’re your friends now, because you’re the big clown. But they’re gonna all go on…and you’ll still be there, just farting away.”

Farley starts kicking his legs like some demented Rockette, farting after each step.

“Someday, Chris,” Downey continues, still in his deadpan mode, “your son will be in a library with a friend, and he’ll pull down the Readers’ Guide to Periodical Literature. ‘Oh—January to March 1995. Hey, Dad’s in this one!’ ‘What’s it for? The ‘Fatty Arbuckle incident’—where he had that incident with the girl, and he was tried?’ ‘No, this is the one where he farts!’”



Wed Feb 29, 2012 5:50 am

Here are some pictures of Chris Farley in those sexy Zubaz!

Tue Feb 28, 2012 11:36 am

Diamond, I saw an old episode of Saturday Night Live where Bill Murray hosted and Chris Farley was wearing a pair of yellow, black, and white striped Zubaz pants in a sketch. Have you ever seen the episode and did you rub one out while watching Farley and fantasizing that the Zubaz were absorbing Farley's ass sweat? Have you ever fantasized about being spit-roast by a Zubaz-wearing Chris Farley and the fat bald Zubaz-wearing ex-prison guard from Prison Break? Get back to me soon ass-fuck!



Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:36 am

Diamond, remember that episode where you told Belding that you loved "dumpy" asses and affectionately told him that he had he had the dumpiest ass at Bayside? Remember how you expected the Big Bopper to feel happy with what you thought was a big compliment? Remember how Belding instead became enraged because he was self-conscious about his large posterior? Remember when he beat unconscious and then visciously ass-raped you and then locked you in one of the port-a-potties near the football field for the weekend? Remember when you had to drink filthy port-a-potty water to survive? You sure learned a lesson about Belding's ass that time!



Thu Feb 23, 2012 5:14 am

Diamond, when the minimum wage employees at Arby's see you waiting in line, is it true that they take turns pissing in that nasty water that the roast beef rests in? Remember that time when you caught one of the employees pissing in the roast beef water and complained? Remember when they offered you the roast beef sandwich for free if you'd shut your trap about it? Remember how you were so low on funds at the time that you agreed to the deal and then quickly gobbled down the piss-soaked roast beef sandwich? You were more pathetic than a homeless man that time!



Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:29 am

Hey Diamond, it's too bad that you weren't interviewed for this important Village Voice article, "Guys Who Like Fat Chicks." You could have been one of the demented weirdos interviewed! I'm sure you would have much to say about your penchant for hooked up with obese men/women.

http://www.villagevoice.com/2011-05-04/news/guys-who-like-fat-chicks/



Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:20 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, can you confirm the other day you went to McDonald's to get a tasty mcdouble with a dollar you found in the buttcrack of a homeless man? Is it true you tried to use your celebrity to cut to the front of the line? Is it true this annoyed quite a few obese men and woman along with the cashier? Is it true you slammed the dollar down on the metal counter and yelled "get the Dman a Mcdouble pronto!"? Is it true the cashier said "hold on sir" then went and got one of the fry cookers, carried it over and threw it along with the scalding hot grease into your face? Is it true you began screaming and that cued a vicious attack from the obese customers you had cut in front of? Is it true an enormous heifer sat on your head and began ripping ass while her husband dropped his size 76 sweatpants and began raping you? Is it true other customers kicked and spit on you while all jerking off? Is it true the manager came out and everyone blamed you for causing a scene? Is it true the manager instead of saving you had a sword fight in your asshole while eating a hot apple pie? Is it true by the end you were covered in piss, farts, blood, grease, apple pie remnants, and jizz? Is it true you are now also banned from that McDonalds and a picture of you with the caption "Hooknosed Goblin" hangs in the restaurant? You sure learned people don't like people cutting in line that time Dman!


ROCCO



That was funny when they threw the hot grease on Diamond and the fries that were in the grease also landed on him. Remember when one of the obese dudes in line dumped a huge container of salt onto Diamond's burnt body and then gobbled down the semi-cooked fries? I bet that salt must have burned like hell on top of Diamond's open wounds!

Important Questions for Diamond - Part V

Here are some of my important questions for Diamond that have been posted over at the new Dustin Diamond Love forum:

Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:16 am

rocco wrote:

Kurt_Steinberg wrote:Diamond, remember how you saved a grand total of $4000 during the ten years while you were Mr. Belding's assistant? Remember when saw an ad for a new Zubaz automobile? Remember how the Zubaz Squirrel had a 2 cylinder engine and a top speed of 38 MPH? Remember when you took the bus to the Zubaz dealer and paid your entire life savings for a pink Zubaz Squirrel? Remember how the metal forming the frame of the car was about as thick as tin foil? Remember how the door was so flimsy that merely touching it would leave permanent indentations on the door? Remember how the windows were formed out of Cling-wrap? Remember when you got into the car and drove off the lot home? Remember how mad all of the other drivers were getting at you because you were driving 35 MPH in a 45 MPH zone? Remember when it started raining on the way home and your car started rusting instantly? Remember when the entire engine block fell through the rusted-out car frame 10 minutes later? Remember how your your entire car started disintegrating on the road in the rain? You sure were a dipshit that time for wasting your entire life savings on a Zubaz car! What a moron!




Diamond really was a jackass that time. Too bad for him the 3 minute or 36 foot warranty had already expired when the car disintegrated!


ROCCO



Yes, he appeared to be retarded that time! Seriously, what kind of a moron would pay $4000 for a car that has windows made out of Cling-wrap?



Tue Feb 21, 2012 3:39 am

Diamond, remember how you saved a grand total of $4000 during the ten years while you were Mr. Belding's assistant? Remember when saw an ad for a new Zubaz automobile? Remember how the Zubaz Squirrel had a 2 cylinder engine and a top speed of 38 MPH? Remember when you took the bus to the Zubaz dealer and paid your entire life savings for a pink Zubaz Squirrel? Remember how the metal forming the frame of the car was about as thick as tin foil? Remember how the door was so flimsy that merely touching it would leave permanent indentations on the door? Remember how the windows were formed out of Cling-wrap? Remember when you got into the car and drove off the lot home? Remember how mad all of the other drivers were getting at you because you were driving 35 MPH in a 45 MPH zone? Remember when it started raining on the way home and your car started rusting instantly? Remember when the entire engine block fell through the rusted-out car frame 10 minutes later? Remember how your your entire car started disintegrating on the road in the rain? You sure were a dipshit that time for wasting your entire life savings on a Zubaz car! What a moron!



Sun Feb 19, 2012 9:53 am

Diamond, when you were a student at California University, how many times did you wake up in the middle of the night because someone was pissing on your head? Remember how Slater and Zack were always having orgies with the campus's raging sluts? Remember how there was no bathroom for women on the floor, so the women decided to use your face as a toilet instead of walking up to the women's bathroom on the next floor?



Fri Feb 17, 2012 3:30 am

Diamond, please confirm that you murdered Hall of Fame former MLB catcher Gary Carter because you were jealous of his curly 'fro. You're gonna pay for this heinous act!!!



Tue Feb 14, 2012 6:19 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, remember that time you got fed up with Mr. B tearing your Zubaz while ripping them off your body during his violent rapes? Is it true you had Mrs. Powers sew a flap in the ass of your Zubaz so Mr. B could still ass rape you, but wouldnt have to rip them in the process? Is it true the next day Mr. B cornered you after lunch and went to rip off your Zubaz when you said "hold on chief!" Is it true that you then released the Velcro flap which exposed your pasty ass? Is it true you thought the Big Bopper would appreciate this gesture? Is it true you were wrong and the Big Bopper was infuriated at your butt flap? Is it true he tore your Zubaz off and the called out to AC Slater? Is it true while Mr. B pounded away at your asshole slater ripped your Zubaz to pieces as if he were Hulk Hogan ripping off his tshirt? Is it true since you hadn't worn your Zubaz underpants you were forced to put back on your now shredded and tattered Zubaz which didn't really cover anything? Is it true the kids in Mr. Tuttle's class pointed and laughed at you because they could see your tiny cock and your jizz covered ass? Is it true when you got home Mrs. Powers was mad because once again your Zubaz had been ripped up? Is it true she belched a cum belch into your face and called you a "hook nosed loser"? That sure wasn't your day Dman!

ROCCO



Diamond sure was a fool to think that Belding would want to use the butt flap!

Why did Diamond purchase all of those Zubaz brand items? As I recall, the Zubaz underwear were so flimsy that a medium-sized fart would be sufficient to rip a hole in them!



Mon Feb 13, 2012 4:54 am

Diamond, which of the following is the most difficult to remove from your Jew-fro after drying - (a) semen; (b) fecal juice; (c) snot/boogers; or (d) barf? Please get back to me soon, buddy, as I am racking my brain thinking about this conundrum!



Sat Feb 11, 2012 4:34 am

Diamond, remember when you travelled to Canada a few years ago to get your teeth fixed and your dental work is featured on this website: http://www.torontosmilemakeovers.com/ ? Is it true that you were born with normal teeth, but after years of drinking piss, the uric acid in the piss had horrible damaged your teeth, requiring extensive dental work? Is it also true that you were under general anesthetic and were anally raped while you were under?



Thu Feb 09, 2012 12:08 pm

Diamond, remember that time when you looked at your baby-sized cock while pissing at a urinal and started crying because of its small size? You sure realized that your life sucked for you that time!



Wed Feb 08, 2012 8:12 am

Diamond, remember that time when Lisa Turtle rejected you for the 500th time and then you walked home after school and caught her dyking out with your TV mom, Mrs. Powers? Remember when you cried as you watched Mrs. Powers do Lisa in the ass with a strap-on while Lisa sucked off Mr. Powers and Mr. Tuttle sat on the dresser watching and masturbating? Remember how a few minutes later you watched in horror as Lisa sucked off Hound Dog? Was it a major blow to your ego when you discovered that Lisa was a total slut who would fuck everything that moves except for you? Even Hound Dog was sexier to Lisa than you!



Tue Feb 07, 2012 8:08 am

Diamond, do you remember the episode where you were watching a re-run of 21 Jump Street on a small Sony Watchman miniature television set with a 2-inch screen during lunch period back in 1991 when you were a student at Bayside? Remember when you started to get turned on while watching Johnny Depp and Richard Greico solving crimes while dressed up as undercover officers? Remember when you went into the bathroom sit on the toilet while rubbing a couple out? Remember when Slater heard you smacking around your ding-dong in the stall and got mad? Remember when Slater kicked open the door and informed you that you were not allowed to enjoy any type of sexual pleasure? Remember when he kicked you in the balls and then pissed onto your Jew-fro? Remember when several other dudes in the bathroom also started pissing on you? Remember when the kid taking a dump in the next stall started firing shit-covered pieces of toilet paper over the stall wall onto you that he had just used to wipe his ass? Remember when you ran out to complain to Belding and he confiscated your Watchman and called you a "stupid Jew faggot" and made you suck his cock right in front of Becky the Duck, Belding's kinky girlfriend at the time?




Mon Feb 06, 2012 11:47 am

Hey Diamond, remember that time during Mr. Tuttle's class when you burped and then the entire room reeked of the smell of cock as a result of your penis breath?



Mon Feb 06, 2012 4:11 am

Diamond, remember how you took Mr. Dewey's health class during your sophomore year at Bayside? Remember how you had to pull down your pants so that he could measure your cock for the final exam? Remember how you failed the final exam because your cock was too small? Remember how you had to take summer school in order to receive a passing grade? Remember how the only summer school class offered was "Prison Rape 101" taught by Mr. Dewey and Principal Belding? Remember how they would ass-rape you several times every day, pulling queer trains and even invited other faculty staff and Zack's dad to join in on the action? Remember when you endured 8 weeks of anal rape and rectal bleeding until the summer session ended? Remember when you asked Mr. Dewey what grade you would be receiving on the last day of class? Remember when Mr. Dewey started laughing and said, "Smile, you are on candid camera!" and pointed to a hidden camera in the back of the room? Remember when host Ed McMahon walked into the classroom and explained that you had been subjected to a 2-month long practical joke? Remember how hard everyone laughed as you cried and your horribly torn rectum bled through your Zubaz? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!



Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:49 am

Diamond, do you remember the time when Belding asked you to pick up a family sized bag of Doritos for his afternoon snack? Remember when you carelessly bought a bag of low-fat Doritos? Remember how sensitive Belding was about his weight and thought that you were giving him a subtle hint that he was too fat? Remember how upset Belding was with you for buying the wrong chips? Remember when Belding sat on the bag, crushing all of the chips and then dumped the chip crumbs into your poofy Jew-fro? Remember when he then yanked off your Zubaz and raped you? Remember when he blew his load up your ass and then dumped you outside the school on the ball field in an unconscious state? Remember when a flock of hungry birds smelled the Dorito crumbs in your Jew-fro and flew down and started attacking you while eating the crumbs? Remember when an endangered California Condor was one of the birds? Remember when Maxwell Nerdstrom saw the bird attack and took a photo which was later published in the Bayside Bugle newspaper? Remember how Jessie Spano was a member of PETA at the time? Remember how Jessie showed the picture of the bird attack to her weirdo PETA friends and they burned down your house to teach you a lesson about messing with birds? Doritos got you good that time!



Fri Feb 03, 2012 1:44 pm

Diamond, do you like it when you are standing at a urinal pissing out of your tiny cock and someone comes up behind you and pisses all over you as you stand at the urinal? Do you wear you piss-soaked Zubaz for the next three hours until the urine dries, or do you put on a fresh clean pair of Zubaz?



Tue Jan 31, 2012 7:18 pm

Diamond, remember that time when you went into the Teacher's lounge and saw a new beanbag chair on the floor? Remember when you quickly plopped down on it? Remember when you rubbed your Jew-fro against it and suddenly realized that that the texture of the beanbag chair was unusual? Remember when you also discovered that the beanbag chair smelled like ass? Remember when you noticed that the beanbag chair was covered in lice? Remember when you saw what looked like gray material covered all over the beanbag chair? Remember when you went in for a closer look and saw that the gray material was coarse? Remember when you noticed white stains on some of the gray material? Remember when you licked the white stains and immediately realized that the white stains tasted like AC Slater's cum? Remember when you touched the gray material and realized that it bore a strong resemblance to pubic hair? Remember when you looked over and realized that the "beanbag chair" was in reality Mr. Belding's scrotum which he had let out of his trousers to get some fresh air? Remember when Belding yelled at you for rubbing against his scrotum against his wishes? Remember when Belding gave you a typical pummeling and then ass-raped you for the 735th time? You sure learned to look before sitting down that time!



Thu Jan 26, 2012 11:09 am

Diamond, I loved you in Pulp Fiction, where you played "the Gimp." Please confirm that you have played a gimp in hundreds of gay pornos.



Thu Jan 26, 2012 9:17 am

Diamond, have your encounters with people changed much over the years? I suppose that during the height of SBTB's fame, people would walk past you and think to themselves, "Hey, that's that huge dork from Saved By The Bell. What an ugly homo!" However, as you age fewer and fewer young people know who you are. I suspect that a large % of the people who walk past you now think to themselves, "What a creepy weirdo. I bet that homo sucks a lot of cock!"

Please discuss how the transition from being known as the "dorky Screech" to a "creepy weirdo" has affected your life.



Tue Jan 24, 2012 7:59 am

Diamond, do you remember when you visited a Bayside school board meeting and motioned that the team's mascot be changed from the Bayside Tigers to the Bayside Jock Straps? Remember when Mr. Tuttle stood up and made a motion that you be ass-raped for presenting such a stupid motion and being such a ugly faggot? Remember when you got raped by 50 dudes at the meeting and had several microphones shoved up your brownpipe? Remember when semen deposited in your asshole dripped into the microphones causing a short-circuit? Remember when you were electrocuted by the microphones and nearly died? Remember how hard everyone laughed? Remember how you narrowly averted death when Belding tripped on the microphone cords while waddling while naked over to you to masturbate? Remember when the microphone cords ripped out of the electric socket when he tripped? You sure learned to shut your trap that time!



Tue Jan 24, 2012 6:09 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, remember the episode where the Big Bopper got you to go scuba diving? Remember when once you were under water he took your air hose and stuck it in his asshole then began ripping nasty farts? Remember how you breathed Mr. Beldings farts instead of oxygen for nearly an hour? Remember how that caused you to suffer massive brain damage? Belding sure got you good that time Dman!


ROCCO



It would have been funny if Diamond's lungs had expanded like a blowfish as they filled up with Belding's farts!




Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:48 pm

Diamond, remember that episode where you walked into your parents' bedroom and caught your TV dad, Mr. Powers, having a hot three-way with Becky the Duck and Hound Dog? Remember how Mr. Powers was eating out Becky the Duck's cooch while Hound Dog was doing him right in the ass? Remember when you looked off to the side and saw your TV mom, Mrs. Powers, fingering herself while watching the orgy? Remember how angry Becky the Duck, Hound Dog, and Mr. Powers were at you for interrupting their deviant sexual practices? Remember when they all attacked you and started biting you? Remember when Becky flew up and bit your huge hook nose with her beak and then flew up to the ceiling and dropped duck turds into your Jew-fro? Remember when Hound Dog bit you in your groin and bit off your baby-sized cock? Remember when your dad gave you a vampire-like bite in the neck? Remember when caught tetanus from the Hound Dog and Becky the Duck bites and caught rabies from your dad's bite? Remember how your dad was apparently a Trojan horse carrier of rabies for some unexplained reason? What was that all about?



Sat Jan 21, 2012 3:14 am

Diamond, are you busy planning a romantic Valentine's Day date with your gay lover, Mr. Belding? Remember when he handed you a candy box last year that you thought was filled with chocolate turtles, but when you opened the box you discovered he had eaten all of the chocolate candies and then shit in the box? Remember how that was the most thoughtful gift you have ever received?



Thu Jan 19, 2012 11:21 am

rocco wrote:Dman, remember that time you put your precious baby pictures and mementos in a storage unit? Remember when instead of paying the rent on the storage unit you bought some Arby's? Remember how your crap went up for sale because of this? Remember how you thought you could go to the auction and get your shit back for a dollar or two? Remember when Dave Hester from the show "Storage Wars" was there? Remember how annoying you were when your unit came up? Remember how to place a bid you screamed "Zoinks"? Remember how this annoyed Dave Hester and he began to bid with his trademark "Yup"? Remember how you only had eight dollars and began to cry after your "Zoinks" at eight bucks was quickly met with a "Yup" taking the bid to nine dollars and far out of your financial range? Remember how Dave won the auction and took a box of your personal photos, then set the rest of your shit on fire? Remember how you began to cry and the auctioneer came over and jabbered some auction speak in your ear while he reached his hand down your pants and crushed your tiny dick? Remember how Dave listed the box of your personal pictures and memories on eBay and I bought them for $115? Remember how you followed the eBay auction but $115 was like a million dollars to you? Remember how you whined to the arbynator and she comforted you by ripping a hideous fart on your hook nose? Remember how I posted your personal pics for the world to enjoy then wiped my ass with your childhood memories? That sure was funny Dman!


ROCCO



I think I saw that episode! Wasn't that the episode where Barry, the 60+-year old retiree showed up with a midget wearing stilts to scope out the storage lockers up for auction? As I recall, the midget kept smacking Diamond in the head with a stilt while Barry masturbated vigorously!



Wed Jan 18, 2012 9:02 am

Diamond, one of my friends has convinced me to take a chance on heterosexuality. So I have a date with a girl this coming weekend, although I bet it will be a complete waste of time because I heard that girls don't have cocks like we do. By the way, this girl is 10 times better looking than any of the fat heinous beasts you have been known to pretend to date.

Important Questions for Diamond - Part IV

Here are some of my important questions for Diamond that have been posted over at the new Dustin Diamond Love forum:

Tue Jan 17, 2012 4:15 am

rocco wrote:

arbys_shitpipe wrote:Rocco I can indeed confirm that your NFL story is true. Tom Brady actually feels that his 5 touchdown pass first half on Saturday was tainted by the fact that Diamond witnessed it. He was absolutely seething with anger when he heard the news and that's why the NFL was forced to issue Diamond such a stern letter.


I heard that he made Giselle Bundechen wear a Jew Fro wig that night and ass-fucked her to take out his rage for Diamond watching his game! I heard she obliged and even through in a few "Zoinks" for extra realism!


ROCCO


I heard that Bridget Moynahan, an actress and the mother of Tom Brady's child, watched the encounter between Tom and Giselle while fingering herself vigorously!


Mon Jan 16, 2012 9:28 am

Diamond, it is time for you to come clean and finally admit how you spent your Saved By The Bell fortune. I remember reading that you have declared bankruptcy twice now, and the first time was sometime right after SBTB was cancelled. How on earth did you piss all of that money away so quickly? I know that you could not possibly have blown it all on Taco Bell and Arby's - did you purchase extravagant gifts for your many gay lovers?


Fri Jan 13, 2012 9:36 am

Diamond, Roman Catholics around the world celebrate Ash Wednesday as the start of Lent in February or March. Please confirm that you have your own "Wednesday" holiday call "Ass Wednesday." Is it true that you celebrate Ass Wednesday every week instead of the annual Ash Wednesday celebration? Also, as you may know, Catholic who attend Mass on Ash Wednesday may have a priest make the sign of the cross in with ashes on their foreheads. Is it true that you have your own variance of this whereby your gay lovers on Ass Wednesday draw swastikas with shit on your forehead? Please get back to me soon, ass fuck!


Fri Jan 13, 2012 12:35 am

Diamond, I just discovered that a search for "queer fantasies" on google lists my Dustin Diamond queer blog as the #2 hit! Does it turn you on knowing that your name is highly correlated with a search string such as "queer fantasies"? Get back to me soon, assfuck!


Thu Jan 12, 2012 11:24 am

Diamond, is it true that you have been waiting anxiously for a phone call offering you your big break as a headline movie actor? Is it true that you receive 276 calls per day and that you personally answer each call, hoping you will be offered a starring role? Please confirm that of the 276 calls, 273 are obscene phone calls - 115 are random dudes farting in the phone, 67 are dudes jerking off, and 58 are of random dudes pissing or taking dumps in a toilet, and 33 are of dudes having anal sex or raping dogs or farm animals. Please confirm that the only thee legitimate calls you receive are from debt collectors or the doctor from the free clinic who is checking in on your progress healing from various anal rapes.


Wed Jan 11, 2012 9:40 am

Diamond, how many potentially deadly diseases are raging your body right now? We have all heard about the Super-AIDS, Herpes, Gonorrhea, crabs, Syphilis, anal warts, Ebola, and even the Sickle Cell Anemia you contracted from Mylo the janitor. Do you currently have any other diseases? Also, is it true that ever since giving anal birth to your butt-baby son, Zoinks Diamond, you now have an anal period every month? Does Belding throw you a beating when your hormone levels change and behave like more of a bitch than usual as you experience anal PMS once a month?


Tue Jan 10, 2012 7:23 am

Diamond, why do you enjoy being kicked in the nuts and used as a human urinal cake? Man, you are one sick and demented fuck!


Sun Jan 08, 2012 10:04 am

Diamond, give us the horny details pertaining to your 35th birthday celebration that took place on Saturday! Did you you receive some yummy diarrhea sprays and golden showers? Did anyone give you a heavy and sweaty pair of Arabian Goggles? Get back to me soon, buddy and pencil me in for a 12:45 PM rimjob in the men's room bathroom stall at the Port Washington Taco Bell for Tuesday. Isn't that when you receive your break during the middle of your drive-thru shift at the Taco Bell?


Sat Jan 07, 2012 4:47 am

Diamond, let's meet up at midnight tonight to celebrate your 35th birthday in style! I hope you are covered in diarrhea, semen, piss, and blood after an awesome dumpster party!!! I bet you are creaming your pants just thinking about this tremendous opportunity!


Fri Jan 06, 2012 6:48 am

Diamond, please describe what it feels like when an intoxicated bar patron who has had far too much to drink barfs onto your Jew-fro. Does the warm barf warm you up as quickly as a nice golden shower or diarrhea spray? Please contact me to discuss.


Thu Jan 05, 2012 9:28 am

Diamond, do you remember that time when Belding ate dinner at Taco Bell and then returned you at the truck stop where you were working the midnight shift at the bathroom stall gloryhole? Remember when Belding dropped his 52-inch waist trousers and then ripped an incredibly loud fart that registered 160 decibels, which is 100 times louder than a jet engine? Remember when your eardrums where instantly ruptured and started bleeding? Remember when Belding lubed up his cock with your blood and then ass-raped you? Taco Bell really got you good that time!


Wed Jan 04, 2012 9:03 pm

Diamond, remember that time when James and Actor and Max pulled a train with you at The Max in front of the Stansbury college representative? Remember how the Stansbury college rep was eating out Belding's ass while watching you being violated? Remember when the Stansbury college rep said that you were a disgrace and that Stansbury didn't admit faggots? Remember how he continued to tongue Belding's ass while Slater had anal sex with him as he explained why you weren't Stansbury material? What was that all about?


Wed Jan 04, 2012 10:50 am

Diamond, does it ever bother you when you are doing laundry at a public laundry mat and some random dude opens the door to the dryer in which your Zubaz clothing are drying and pisses or sprays diarrhea onto your drying clothes?

Is it true that you enjoy doing the crossword jumble in the free newspaper while you wait for your clothes to dry? Does it annoy you when rabid Saved By The Bell fans recognize you and then stand near your face and drop ass?


Wed Jan 04, 2012 6:10 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, can you confirm when you were younger your Dad, Mr. Powers, and his good friend Jm J Bullock took you to a club in San Francisco named "Bug Juice"? Is it true that you had previously gone to summer camp and knew "bug juice" to be some type of kool aid drink? Is it true you were surprised when the club turned out not to be a place that served kool aid, but instead had tons of dudes ass fucking each other then squirting their HIV+ "Bug Juice" into each others mouths? Is it true your father and already HIV+ Jm J Bullock began having unprotected homosexual sex with tons of dudes while you stood there and watched? Is it true you felt an excited rumbling from your tiny zoinker? Dman, what the fuck was up with that? Who takes a kid to a hard core gay club??? You really had a fucked up childhood that time!


Man, that was hot! I remember drinking "bug juice" at summer camp when I was a kid, but it was only Kool-Aid. I bet that the 14-year-old Diamond was star attraction at the gay club, as raging queers are always on the prowl for an innocent young boy to molest. I bet that they really gave it to Diamond!



Tue Jan 03, 2012 7:13 pm

Jeremy Miller Love wrote:Hey Screech, why do you enjoy getting railed by horny old men while in a dumpster? Which is your favorite brand of dumpster? Do you prefer it to be chest high so you can hold onto the sides, or a tall one so you feel like you can't escape? Let me know, beak nose!


Come on Diamond, answer this important question. Also, when you are in your dumpster and get cold, do you use a rat as a portable space heater?


Tue Jan 03, 2012 6:43 am

Diamond, you look disgusted by the fact that this girl hugged you. Please confirm that you would rather be French-kissing Slater's asshole while he is in the middle of taking a shit.

Mon Jan 02, 2012 8:32 pm

Diamond, your 35th birthday is on this coming Saturday. How are you going to celebrate? Will you offer discounted blowjobs and rimjobs for 3 cents instead of the standard 15 cents rate?


Sat Dec 31, 2011 8:10 pm

Diamond, is your neck sore after a few hours of pressing your ear up to the Bayside Teacher's Lounge bathroom wall to eavesdrop on teachers taking dumps on taco lunch day? Did your dad introduce you to the pleasurable experience of listening to random dudes going diarrhea, or did you pick this up on your own? Please get back to me soon, buddy!


Fri Dec 30, 2011 2:04 am

Diamond, what do you have planned for New Year's Eve? Are you going to be working the alleys behind bars in Milwaukee allowing drunk patrons to piss in your Jew-fro for a mere 25 cents? I bet that you enjoy the warm piss and wet farts on your face to warm you up during the cold winter nights. Have you been cuddling with rats for warmth recently while sleeping in the dumpster behind the Port Washington Taco Bell?


Thu Dec 29, 2011 11:27 am

Diamond, I loved you in Anal Cum Buckets #77 where you played "Jizz Bucket #2." When is Anal Cum Buckets #78 due to be released? Is it true that there is a scene in the movie where the Demasi twins pull a queer train with you?


Tue Dec 27, 2011 11:54 am

Why do you look like such a homo in this photo?

Tue Dec 27, 2011 11:53 am

Diamond, why do you have a toilet seat around your neck in this photo? It looks like Slater went diarrhea on your chest and face!

Tue Dec 27, 2011 11:51 am

Diamond, is your thumb up the Hispanic guy's ass in this photo? Your left arm is visible as you were afraid to touch the girl to your left, but the dude on the far left of the photo has a weird look on his face as if you were giving him anal pleasure!

Tue Dec 27, 2011 3:07 am

Diamond, remember that time when you were eating out Belding's asshole while your tv dad, Mr. Powers, sucked on Belding's massive cock? Remember when your tv mom, Mrs. Powers, sat on a dresser and fingered herself while cheering on you and your dad? What in the hell was that all about? You sure had a fucked up family!


Fri Dec 23, 2011 8:07 am

Diamond, please confirm that you suffer from sickle cell anemia as a result of all of the semen that Mylo pumped into your ass and mouth over the years.


Tue Dec 20, 2011 11:42 am

Diamond, I found this old photo of you from the early 1990s where you claim that your New Year's resolution was to "train hard in weight-lifting and martial arts ... and do more films."

Diamond, 20 years have passed and you have done any on that stuff although you have had some minor film roles where you appear for less than a minute in certain films.

Why don't you create a more realistic New Year's resolution thus year, such as to have anal sex with 700 random truckers, contract AIDS, or to become homeless and be forced to suck off strangers for 5 cents/blowjob?


Tue Dec 20, 2011 3:51 am

Hey ass-fuck, do you remember the scene from Saved By The Bell: Hawaiian Style when Chief Pupuku and Mr. Belding spit-roasted you while Slater pissed in your Jew-fro and Zack dumped the red-hot ashes from Chief Pupuku's peace pipe onto your back?

My "Remember When..." Queer Fantasies - Part XI

Here are more of my "Remember When..." queer fantasies:

"Diamond Learns About Independence Day" recap
Wed Jul 04, 2012 5:46 am

Diamond, are you going to Mr. Belding's Independence Day barbeque again this year? Remember how last year Belding said he only had enough food for the other 25 people at the barbeque and that you would have to eat whatever food crumbs accidentally fell onto the ground, although you would need to be quick to grab the food before a bird flew down to grab it? Remember when you showed up at the barbeque and saw that everyone had already arrived? Remember how Belding had assigned seats at the picnic table in his backyard? Remember when you saw a name place on the picnic table that read, "Hound Dog" and you assumed that this was a joke? Remember when you sat down and then heard barking and saw that Hound Dog was in line waiting to get a hamburger from the grill and was upset that you were trying to take his seat at the table? Remember when Belding yelled, "Diamond, get the hell away from Hound Dog's place at the table!" Remember when Belding said that you would need to lay under the table and hope that someone dropped some food? Remember when you laid down under the table and did manage to catch a few crumbs as Belding shoveled handfuls of hot dogs and Oreo cookies into his mouth at a time, making a big mess all over the place? Remember when you felt an intense pain on your right foot and looked over and saw that Kevin the Robot had just rolled on top of your leg? Remember when you yelled out "Zoinks!" and Belding told you to shut up and stop bothering Kevin, his guest at the party? Remember when you saw Kevin grabbing a hamburger with his metal claws and insert it into his metal mouth even though he is a robot and is incapable of digesting food? Remember when you told Kevin to give you a hamburger because he wasn't able to consume food? Remember how you hurt Kevin's feelings, as he liked to pretend that he was a human being? Remmeber when grabbed you with his metal claws and dragged you from underneath the picnic table? Remember when Kevin started extending his metal cock and you realized that a rape was coming? Remember when Kevin ripped off your Zubaz and inserted his rusty metal cock into your anus and started raping you? Remember when Kevin got mad at you for interrupting his dinner and started pissing in your Jew-fro? Remember when you saw that apples were falling to the ground from a nearby tree that was shaking? Remember when you looked up and saw Mr. Tuttle perched on one of the upper branches naked while masturbating vigorously? Remember when Slater dropped trou and sprayed diarrhea onto your bird chest? Remember when Zack's dad took off his suit pants and you saw that we had been wearing that suit commando, completely sans underwear? Remember when Zack's dad started teabagging you, dunking his nuts in and out of your mouth while he was on the phone selling IBM computers to a local business? Remember when Maxwell Nerdstrom and Rod Belding started pelting you with the apples that had fallen from the apple tree? Remember how you lost consciousness a few minutes later and slipped into a coma? Remember when you woke from the coma a day later and discovered that Rod Belding's bare ass was rubbing against your face as he ripped fart after fart? Remember how a doctor said that you had suffered a broken nose, two cracked ribs, and contracted three STDs during the attack at Belding's place? You sure learned about Independence Day that time!



"The Diff'rent Strokes Gang Visits Diamond" recap
Sun Jun 24, 2012 10:49 pm

Diamond, do you remember that episode of Diff'rent Strokes where Mr. Brown, the guy who looked like professional wrestler Arn Anderson, kidnapped that little red-headed brat, Sam? Remember when Mr. Brown, Mr. Horton, and little Sam both showed up on the Saved By The Bell set unannounced one day during the third season of SBTB? Remember when they told you that they were sick of raping Sam because his asshole was all stretched out and could not sufficiently grip their middle-aged homosexual cocks to provide enough pleasure? Remember when you said, "Zoinks! Why are you telling me this?" Remember when Mr. Brown got that crazy look in his eye and slugged you in the gut? Remember when Mr. Horton started whipping you in the head with a bicycle chain, drawing blood? Remember when Mr. Horton wrapped the bicycle chain around your neck and started strangling you, nearly murdering you? Remember how much this turned on Mr. Brown, who popped a massive tent and then pulled down his pants? Remember when Mr. Brown tore off your Zubaz and inserted his massive cock in your ass? Remember when Mr. Horton released the bicycle chain from your neck and then shoved his erect cock down your throat? Remember when they pulled a queer train on you? Remember how Sam pissed his pants like he did on every episode of Diff'rent Strokes as he saw you being violated? Remember when Willis Jackson walked into your dressing room and you thought he would save you? Remember how Willis was smoking crack and had no idea where he was, sat down in a recliner and passed out? Remember how Brown and Horton raped you for the next 35 minutes until they had each blown a few loads into you and then they left? Remember when they got up and left, leaving you in a puddle of blood and semen on the floor? Remember when Belding saw Horton and Brown walking out of your dressing room and assumed that you had been cheating on him? Remember when Belding walked into your dressing room and yelled at you and then raped you while Sam watched and pissed his pants again at the sight? You sure got screwed over that time!

Dustin Diamond's Movie Roles

I discovered the following list of Dustin Diamond's movie roles on another forum. I hadn't realized that Diamond was such a prolific actor! I have never heard of many of these roles and I find it difficult to believe that Diamond actually played a character called "Kurt Steinberg" in a movie. However, I present this list for your viewing pleasure:

Queer Bait #5 (2010)... Dusty
Assblasters #78 (2009)... Raging queer
Shaved By The Balls (2008)... Hairless crotch guy
Screeched (2006)... Gay dude
Bug Chasers (2005)... Mitch Cumstein
Hook Nosed Queers (2005)... Dude receiving a Hot Karl
13th Grade (2004)... Corey
Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star (2003)... Himself
The Masturbater (2003)... Spanky Diamond
From Justin to Kelly (2003)... Dork at beach
Big Fat Liar (2002)... Wolf Party Guest
Jane White Is Sick & Twisted (2002)... Simone
Anal Cum Buckets (2002)... Jizz Bucket #2
Rest Stop (2002)... Gay bathroom attendant
The Zoo (2002)... weirdo sucking off gorilla
Made (2001)... Himself
Diarrhea Sprays #4 (2001)... Ass rimmer in scene #3
HIV+ (documentary) (2001)... Himself
Mr. Horton (2001)... Dudley
Longshot (2000)... Waiter
Billy Elliot (2000)... Pedophile
Life Sentence (1999)... Prison Bitch
Gay Gloryhole 5 (1999)... Dustin Jewberg
The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)... Anal rape victim
Chairman of the Board (1998)... Man tossing Carrot Top's salad
Highway Robbery (1998) (TV movie)... The Booty Burglar
The Birdcage (1996)... Exotic dancer
Leprechaun 3 (1995)... Rim Goblin
Houseguest (1995)... Kid in bathroom listening to Sinbad taking a dump
Santa With Muscles (1995)... Gay kid
Saved by the Bell: The New Class (1993) (TV series)... Samuel "Screech" Powers (1994-2000)
Screech on Life (1994) (TV series)... Samuel "Screech" Powers
Pulp Fiction (1994)... "the Gimp"
Saved by the Bell: Wedding in Las Vegas (1994) (TV)... Samuel "Screech" Powers
Teen Wolf 4: Stiles in Action (1994).... Guy eating cheese
Saved by the Bell: The College Years (1993) (TV series)... Samuel "Screech" Powers
Robocop 3 (1993)... Gay robot
Rising Sun (1993)... annoying waiter at party
Taken from Behind (1992)... Kurt Steinberg
Basic Instinct (1992)... Dude with genital warts
Saved by the Bell: Hawaiian Style (1992) (TV)... Samuel "Screech" Powers
Cool As Ice (1991) ... Gay kid watching Vanilla Ice take a piss
No Holds Barred (1989) ... Kid eating out Hulk Hogan's ass
Saved by the Bell (1989) (TV series)... Samuel "Screech" Powers
Life Goes On (1989) (TV series)... Corky
She's Out of Control (1989)... Kid on the Beach
Big Top Pee-wee (1988)... Child - Deke
Purple People Eater (1988)... Big Z
Good Morning, Miss Bliss (a.k.a. Saved by the Bell: The Junior High Years (1987) (TV series)... Samuel "Screech" Powers
Speaker of the Mouse (1988)... Thaddeus Maximus, Jr.
Charles In Charge (1988)....Charles "Nut Buddy"
The Price of Life (1987)... Young Stiles
C.H.U.D. (1984)... C.H.U.D. #3
Police Academy (1984)... Annoying kid at the Blue Oyster gay bar