Important Questions for Diamond - Part VII

Here are more of my important questions for Diamond that have been posted over at the new Dustin Diamond Love forum:

Thu Apr 26, 2012 8:14 am

Diamond, remember that episode where Zack implanted a subliminal message on a tape to make everyone believe he was a "young Tom Cruise"? Remember when Mr. Belding gave an audio tape to the NBC executives before you were cast in Saved By The Bell: The College years to make them believe you were a "gay Jack Nicholson"? Remember when the executives ass-raped you while you were trying to say your lines and then cast you in the spin-off series? Hey, I guess Belding's trick worked out in your favor!



Thu Apr 26, 2012 5:36 am

Diamond, remember that incredibly queer mid-late 1980s cartoon, "My Little Pony"? I just discovered that there are many adult dudes who are fanatic followers of My Little Pony and whom called themselves "bronies." These fruits apparently have group meetings to have dumpster parties, lodge their toys up each other's asses, etc. Please confirm that you are a bronie and worked the bathroom stall gloryholes at the last My Little Pony convention with Mr. Powers.

See: http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2012/04/25/my-little-pony
http://www.wired.com/underwire/2011/06/bronies-my-little-ponys/
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/2012/04/bronies-let-their-my-little-pony-flag-fly.html

Wed Apr 25, 2012 6:22 pm

rocco wrote:Diamond, remember when you went to see the 1984 movie the "Karate Kid"? Remember how the audience was full of hooligans who rooted for Johnny Lawrence to kick the shit out of Daniel LaRusso? Remember how you liked LaRusso and cheered him on, especially during the karate championship where he crane kicked Johnny Lawrence in the face? Remember how the rest of the audience booed and you felt a massive bare ass on you then heard and smelled a heinous fart? Remember when you were being pummeled and saw that Sensei John Kreese was yelling at Dutch to finish off your hooknosed ass? Remember how you had taken a few karate lessons and began showing off a few moves? Remember when Dutch kicked you in the nuts then roundhoused your face? Remember how John Kreese screamed for blood and Johnny Lawrence stepped in and swept your leg? Rememeber how you went down with a thud? Remember how the audience of the theater cheered this awesome attack? Remember when you got up slowly and went into the crane position? Remember when Johnny Lawrence drop kicked you in the face knocking out two of your teeth? Remember when he was declared the winner and the crowd went berserk? You sure learned not to trust what you see in the movies that time Dman!

ROCCO



I like it how random dudes always seem to manage to sneak up and Diamond doesn't even notice them until their asses are pressed against his face right before releasing smelly farts!

Hey, is Dutch the guy on the far right in the photo? Whomever it is, I remember him being a dick and laughing at Daniel LaRusso when LaRusso was injured.



Sun Apr 22, 2012 8:51 am

Kurt_Steinberg wrote:Diamond, why do you look like such a douchebag in this photo? Is your shirt made out of old sirca-1960s hotel draperies that you found in a dumpster?

Does anyone else get the feeling that Mr. Tuttle took this photo and that his pants were down around his ankles and he was masturbating vigorously when the photo was snapped?



Sat Apr 21, 2012 3:55 am

Diamond, why do you look like such a douchebag in this photo? Is your shirt made out of old sirca-1960s hotel draperies that you found in a dumpster?

Thu Apr 19, 2012 8:31 pm

Diamond, are you and your gay lover, Michael Oliver Ponce, still a hot gay couple? He must be excited about his star role in the upcoming Alien prequel movie, Prometheus, where he plays one of those hideous aliens without wearing any makeup.



Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:00 pm

rocco wrote:It seems I had some bad info as the cruise through Cleveland is actually on the Cuyahoga River which is most famous for being the river the "caught on fire" due to the level of pollution in it. This along with the garbage barge should make for a rank stink that Diamond and Ponce will feel at home in. Unfortunately this cruise does not make it to New Jersey but winds up in Lake Erie. I'm not sure about dumpsters being on board but I've been told Ponce is more interested in lounging on piles of sweet garbage while sunbathing.



I thought that all garbage barges eventually made their way to New Jersey to dump their garbage!

Someone needs to make an entire ship out of a dumpster! Diamond sure would love that. He could enjoy laying on rotting food while being ass-raped by a homeless man who calls the dumpster "home." Also, rats infects infected with the Bubonic Plague could nibble at Diamond's hook nose as he is being raped. Sounds like a nice vacation for Diamond.



Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:30 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, can you confirm that with all the states passing gay marriage laws you and your queer companion, Micheal Oliver, are thinking of getting hitched? Is it true Ponce has already been planning the honeymoon and is especially interested in going on a honeymoon cruise? Is it true as both of you are broke dirtbags he had to keep it cheap? Is it true he was really excited to find a cruise on a garbage barge that cruises the Ohio river though lovely Cleveland for only $75 a person? Is it true you and Ponce have been dreaming of your honeymoon consisting of you two lovebirds humping and farting on each other on piles of garbage? You sure are living the high life Dman!


ROCCO



Is there a dumpster on that garbage barge? If so, Diamond and Ponce may not want to leave! Maybe they will stay on the garbage barge until it reaches its final destination in New Jersey. I'm certain that there are lots of dumpsters for those two gay lovebirds in Jersey.



Tue Apr 17, 2012 5:30 pm

Diamond, when did you legally change your name from "Max Goldberg," your birth name, to "Dustin Diamond," your gay porn name?



Mon Apr 16, 2012 7:09 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, remember when you were in the band "Salty the Pocketknife" and you and the band had just finished recording "Buttfuck Junction"? Remember how you decided that even though your gay lover and bands bassist, Evan Stone, had written all the lyrics you demanded a writing credit as you had told Evan about this move Mr. B and Slater pulled on you during the SBTB days that Mr. B had called "Buttfuck Junction"? Is it true Evan refused to give you any credit as he felt your mentioning some super erotic queer sex move had nothing to do with his masterpiece? Is it true this caused your relationship to sour and resulted in the breakup of Salty? Get back to me quick on this one Dman!


ROCCO



Diamond, whatever happened with Evan Stone? Did he used to rub his bald head all over your tiny balls and ass? You were a good couple and it was a shame to see things end. Is it true that you would suck him off during your band's intermission and let him jam drum sticks up your asshole?



Fri Apr 13, 2012 10:26 am

Diamond, we've all heard the rumors that you are hung like a gnat. Please confirm that it typically takes you 45 minutes to take a piss because your tiny cock can only expel a tiny stream of urine at a time.



Thu Apr 12, 2012 6:08 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, remember when Mr. B knocked up Violet Bickerstaff? Remember how he came to you and said that his super potent Belding seed had gotten his ass in trouble once again? Remember how this was shortly after Violet's parents had banned her from dating you because you were an ass-clown? Remember how mad you began to get as Belding started going on and on about how annoyed he was with his "king kong principal dong"? Remember how he had already knocked up Kelly Kaposwki twice that year, but she had quickly gotten abortions? Remember how you felt double hurt that time as you felt Violet had cheated on you and so had your gay lover, Mr. Belding? Remember when Mr. B told you he needed you to take the blame as the school board was sniffing around and he was worried he would get fired? Remember how he offered to give your zoinker pleasure if you would help him? Remember how you said yes because you idolized Mr. B and couldn't wait to have your zoinker pleasured? Remember how you went to violets home and told her parents you had knocked up their daughter? Remember how enraged her father got and he ripped off your Zubaz and began raping and strangling you? Remember how you kept screaming "Zoinks"? Remember how Mr. B just happened to show up and asked Mr. Bickerstaff what was going on? Remember how he was told you had knocked up Violet? Remember how Mr. B said he would take care of it and then got a tire iron from his car and as Mr. Bickerstaff plugged your butthole Mr. B beat your tiny ballsack? Remember how you passed out and Mr. B went diarrhea on you? Remember how the next day Mr. B suspended you from Bayside for a month and after that denied all knowledge of the incident including the promised "zoinker pleasure"? Remember how sad that made you? Remember how Violet soon left Bayside for good and the outcome of her and Mr. B's child remains unknown to this day? You sure got screwed over that time Dman!


ROCCO



Great recap! Belding sure was a stud to those high school girls. I bet that lifting weights in the men's room like he would often do made Belding really horny. He probably wanted to drain his nuts into Diamond's asshole but chose Violet instead when Diamond was nowhere to be found. I can imagine Belding getting it on with Violet in a bathroom stall in between classes. So from a certain point of view, Diamond really was responsible for knocking up Violet because he wasn't available to service Belding's sexual desires at the time!



Tue Apr 10, 2012 10:00 pm

Diamond, as I was waiting to get my hair cut the other day, I was reading GQ or Men's Health, or some similar magazine, when I cam across a small blurb about Japanese pro baseball player Hideki Matsui. Matsui is apparently some type of porn freak and owns a whopping 55,000 different hardcore porn videos! I would bet that he has an extensive gay porn section and has probably rubbed a few out while thinking about Belding really giving it to you. If he offered $15 would you eat sushi out of his asshole?

http://sportsbybrooks.com/hideki-matsui-has-55000-porno-tape-collection-16872



Mon Apr 09, 2012 11:31 am

Diamond, remember when you found out that you had Super-AIDS? Is it true that deranged bug-chasers rape you every day hoping to contract the deadly virus? Man, there are some fucked-up depraved queers hot for your ass!



Mon Apr 09, 2012 3:30 am

rocco wrote:Diamond, remember when your agent told you he had some great news? Remember when he told you that he had booked you a show in Las Vegass? Remember how happy this made you and you screamed "Zoinks!" which really annoyed your agent? Remember when he told you all the arrangements were made and to have a great time? Remember how you thought you would probably be at the MGM grand or the Bellagio in front of thousands of fans? Remember how confused you were when you saw your airline ticket was to Fargo, North Dakota? Remember how you assumed that that would be a quick layover stop and you would be able to sign some autographs for some adoring fans? Remember how it turned out your flight into Fargo was your only flight and you were met by two angry guys named Bruiser and Buck who refused to carry your Zubaz suitcase and led you to a pickup truck? Remember how they said there was no room for you in the cab and you had to ride in the bed? Remember how it was 10 degrees out and you almost froze to death? Remember when you pulled up to a little crappy club named "Las Vegass"? Remember when the truck stopped, then the truck was slammed in reverse, then after going back a few yards slammed into drive causing you to fly out the back of the pickup bed? Remember when your Zubaz suitcase landed on your head and exploded open? Remember how your extra Zubaz pants along with about 15 gay porn magazines flew out and onto the parking lot? Remember how you thought this was no way to treat a major celebrity such as yourself and headed into the club planning on telling them off? Remember when once inside the club you were immediately attacked and thrown up onto the stage? Remember when you noticed the audience was all dudes dressed in leather and bondage outfits and their cocks were all out? Remember when the announcer announced that "Dustin screech buttplug Diamond" was in the house? Remember when a large man ran up on stage and tore off your Zubaz and began having anal sex with you while German Death Metal music played? Remember how the crowd was whipped into a frenzy and you felt people kicking and punching you while also shoving their cocks in every orifice of your body? Remember how this went on all night until you were finally tossed out into the parking lot covered in piss, shit, cum, and blood? Remember how the same pickup showed up and gave you the reverse ride back to the airport where you were once again flung out of the pickup bed onto the curb of the airport? Remember how you were quickly arrested at the airport because you had no pants on? Remember when you uttered "Zoinks" over and over and were so annoying that they finally stuck you on your plane wearing a garbage bag for pants? Remember when you got home and went back to your home under a bridge with your lover Michael Oliver? Remember when Michael asked how the show was you told him you killed it and the show was a huge success? You sure learned about life on the road that time Dman!


ROCCO



Remember when Diamond started crying because the August 2010 copy of the gay porn magazine, "Queer Anal Rimmers," got mud on it when Diamond fell out of the pickup bed?

The sad thing is that this was the best gig Diamond has had in years!



Sun Apr 08, 2012 10:33 pm

Diamond, remember that time when Mr. Belding hid Easter eggs around your house in Port Washington and told you to go on an Easter egg hunt for them? Remember how instead of doing the traditional thing of boiling eggs and painting them, Belding took a massive dump and rolled up small turds and hid them around your house? Remember when Hound Dog saw Belding hiding the brown "shit eggs" and then started taking dumps all over your house? Remember how it took months to find all of the shit eggs? Remember how this stunt resulted in shit stains all over your house, ruining the carpet, and causing the house to smell like ass? Remember when a health inspector visited your house for some unexplained reason and characterized the interior of your house as a toxic dump and assessed a $50k fine that you paid off in installments by sucking off the health inspector and other random dudes over the next five years? You sure got what you deserved that time, you hook-nosed rim goblin! How dare a Jew like you celebrate Easter - what were you thinking?



Fri Apr 06, 2012 7:28 am

Diamond, please confirm that the reason why you wear a neatly trimmed beard is so that you can hide the scars on your face from all of the times Belding put out his cigarettes on your face. Also, remember when Belding would smoke a pipe and then dump the red-hot pipe ashes into your Jew-fro and would then beat you in the head with the pipe? Remember when Belding also tried to poke your eye out with the pipe a few times?



Wed Apr 04, 2012 6:37 pm

Diamond, remember when you asked Belding to purchase for your birthday a VHS copy of "Kazaam," the awful 1996 movie where Shaquille O'neal plays a genie? Remember when you told Belding that was your favorite movie in the entire world? Remember when Belding said that you were the biggest faggot in the history of the world and then anally raped you while muttering that he hated queers?



Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:43 am

Diamond, it is common knowledge that your possessions have shit stains on them, including your clothing, toothbrush, hairbrush, soap, etc. This got me wondering - do your teeth also have permanent shit stains on them? Random dudes must have shit and gone diarrhea in your mouth thousands of times over the years, and that can't be good for your teeth. Or are your teeth white from all of the times your gargle with a mouth full of jizz?

Get back to me soon, buddy, as this information is of vital importance!



Tue Apr 03, 2012 10:14 am

Diamond, remember that episode where you woke up in the middle of the night because your bed was shaking? Remember when you turned on the lamp next to your bed and saw that Becky the Duck was jerking off Hound Dog with one of her wings? Remember when Hound Dog climaxed and shot his canine load all over your bedsheets? Remember how you were shocked but went back to sleep? Remember when you woke up the next day and Mrs. Powers was yelling at you? Remember how there were cum stains all over your Return of the Jedi comforter that were caused by Hound Dog? Remember when she blamed you and called you a "stupid Jew faggot???" Remember when she dropped her pants and queefed right in your face? You sure learned a lot of things in that episode! I hadn't realized that a duck was capable of jerking off a dog until I saw Saved By The Bell that day!



Sun Apr 01, 2012 10:23 am

Diamond, remember when you went to the nurse's off on April 1, 1992 because you had a sore throat? Remember how the nurse was that hot one with black hair whom Slater and Zack liked? Remember when the nurse said that she had a Vitamin B-12 shot for you that would clear up your sore throat? Remember when she injected the shot into your arm and then Zack and Slater jumped out from behind a curtain in the nurse's office and yelled, "Gotcha! April Fools! That was an Ebola shot, not Vitamin B-12!" Remember how you went into cardiac arrest as the deadly Ebola virus began spreading into your blood system? Remember how Zack, Slater, and the hot nurse started laughing uncontrollable as you fell to the floor? Remember when they d-p'ed the nurse right in front of you and then both pulled out at the same time and blew their loads into your Jew-fro? Remember when Belding walked into the nurse's office and said, "Hey, hey, hey, what is going on here????" Remember when Belding looked over and saw you struggling to breath and started laughing? Remember when Belding dropped his pants and ripped a wet fart in your face while he said, "This will help you breathe?" Remember how his rank fart entered into your lungs and somehow managed to kill the Ebola virus? Remember when Belding then pissed all over your face and Jew-fro and then gave you a soccer kick to the face? That sure was a good April Fool's joke!



Thu Mar 29, 2012 12:48 pm

rocco wrote:Diamond, can you confirm that the Jet Blue pilot who went crazy on a JFK to LAS flight was watching episodes of "Saved by the Bell The New Class" in the cockpit? Is it true that he was pleasuring himself to the super homoerotic episode where you and Mr. B work at the country club for the summer? Is it true you rubbing lotion over Mr. B's body caused him to blow a huge load on the cockpit window, then go batshit crazy yelling about Al Queda and other nefarious groups and deeds? Is it true this was all caused by your queer activities on one of the most deviant shows ever to air on Saturday morning TV? You sure fucked up that guys life Dman!


ROCCO



That would be this episode - it is hard not to rub one out while watching this homoerotic scene!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9ySgawuVvA

Note that Belding is only slightly fat in this clip, just a few years before he added another 100 pounds of pure body fat!



Thu Mar 29, 2012 5:17 am

Diamond, is it true that you have been waiting for the effective implementation of Obamacare so that you can get surgery on your prolapsed rectum, get your AIDS drugs an no cost to you, and finally get all of the items removed which have been shoved up your ass over the years? Are you worried now that Obama's lawyers have looked overmatched and ill-prepared while getting their asses handed to them during their arguments and Q-and-A in front of the Supreme Court?

Maybe you should sell more t-shirts, this time to fix your ass!



Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:06 am

Diamond, do you remember the time when Belding leased the northwest corner of the Bayside campus to both a Taco Bell and an Exxon Gas Station? Remember how Belding did this to raise revenue and because he enjoyed going diarrhea and having sex with random dudes in the men's rooms at the Taco Bell and the Exxon? Remember how Belding decided not to use the lease revenue for education purposes, but instead used the revenue to construct a rest stop on the school's campus where tired drivers and truckers could stop, go to the bathroom and have anal sex with you and other queer students? Belding sure was depraved in that episode!



Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:01 am

Diamond, do you remember the time when you were taking a dump in the teacher's bathroom at Bayside and all of the other stalls and urinals were being used at the same time? Remember how Belding had recently drunk several large cups of Mountain Dew at the Taco Bell located on the Bayside campus? Remember when Belding saw your Zubaz around your ankles below the stall door and quickly realized which stall you were using? Remember when Belding kicked open the door and took a piss all over you as you sat on the toilet expelling the contents of your bowels? Remember how Belding had to go so badly that he pissed all over you for 105 seconds, which he claimed was his all-time piss record? Remember how you spent the rest of the day wearing your piss-soaked Zubaz? Remember how this was one of teh best days of your entire life? Man, do you suck!



Tue Mar 27, 2012 3:57 am

Diamond, remember that episode where Mr. Belding tried to murder you? That was the funniest episode of the entire series - I couldn't stop laughing!



Mon Mar 26, 2012 10:18 am

Diamond, do you keep a daily score of all of the dangerous STDs you have contracted over the years? Is it true that you have created a game where you took the board from Belding's Monopoly game and wrote the game of different STDs and sexaul ailments you endure in the place of the property names? Is it true that the old "Baltic Avenue" has been replaced with "Public Lice," "Electric Company" has been replaced with "The Free Clinic," "Marvin Gardens" has been replaced with "Prolapsed Rectum," and "Boardwalk" has been replaced with "Full Blown AIDS"? Man, you are one sick, demented fuck!

Fri Mar 23, 2012 7:11 pm

Diamond, is it true that Belding's farts release more energy than a neutron bomb?



Wed Mar 21, 2012 10:26 am

rocco wrote:
I had written a lengthy remember when that covered the Hawaiian Epsiodes. I wish I had saved it. I do remember a pineapple being shoved up Diamonds asshole and that he was raped on the plane ride home after being held a sexual slave by the Papuku tribe for quite awhile. Good times for the Dman!


ROCCO



I am almost positive that the one I am thinking of was from Assvomit. We lost some gold when our forum was deleted and when Diamond took down the guestbook at dustindiamond.com.

I remember a great Rocco one where Diamond was a drug mule. Too bad that one is also lost.



Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:50 am

assvomit wrote:

rocco wrote:Diamond, can you confirm that you are currently saving up for a trip to Hawaii? Is it true you miss the well hung Chief of the Papuku tribe and wish to visit him and Kelly's uncle? Is it true you are hoping to freeload at Kelly's uncles hotel while hooking up with him and various members of the Papuku tribe? Can you confirm you have saved up nearly $.80 so far? You sure are a deviant faggot Diamond!


ROCCO



DMAN! is it true that the well hung Cheif of the papuku tribe made you wear a coconutt bra and hula skirt? is it true that members of the warring tribe shot you with blow darts, brought you back to their island via canoes and anally raped you until the moon was waning? is it true that they tied you to a stake and lit your tiny bean bag on fire while they danced around like wild enjuns? is it also safe to further deduce that they all took turns pissing on the skin tag you refer to as a nuttsak to put the fire out after it was horribly burned? is it true that you cried the whole time and begged to be let go? is it true that they they saw this as a sign of weekness and further pumelled your stretched bung with massive polynesian man meat?

goddamn dman, im sure you can't wait to get back!



Wasn't there a remember when story where Chief Pupaku put his hot peace pipe out on Diamond's tiny cock? The Chief sure was a raging queer!



Sun Mar 18, 2012 11:56 pm

assvomit wrote:DMAN!

I would love to watch you get dropped off in Harlem while you are dressed up in blackface like your shitty chess videos. It would be great if you were dropped off and racial slurs screamed and then we could watch at a distance while the negros beat you into a bloody pulp!


get back to me quick if you want to make this happen!



That sounds like a great way for them to celebrate Kwanza!