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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sat, 15 Apr 2017 20:57:32 GMT
Wow, Albert is into some freaky stuff! Did he let loose a belch after chugging the septic water? If so, I bet it reeked!
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Anonymous
(Rookie)
wrote on Sat, 15 Apr 2017 20:04:29 GMT
Wow, that is one filthy story! I for one am going to tweet this to his manager and the rest of his teammates so they know who he is dealing with! |
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Anonymous
(Rookie)
wrote on Sat, 15 Apr 2017 16:59:41 GMT
On
Thursday night I was flying out of John Wayne Airport in Orange County
for a work trip to Seattle. Not only did the plane get held up at the
gate after we boarded, but I got stuck with a freaking window seat!!!
Anyways, I spent that time at the gate looking out the window, watching
the ground crew move luggage, empty the plane’s septic system next to
ours, and just putzing around. About five minutes into watching the
guys I noticed a worker dressed in all white with a red hat, which
totally surprised me because it was completely different than the
uniforms everyone else was wearing. You could imagine my surprise when I
saw that it was Albert Freaking Pujols, The Machine! He was still
dressed in his full uniform from his earlier game (cleats and all). He
was in front of one of the cars on the luggage train, pulling bags off
and rifling through them. I don’t know what he was looking for, but he
must have went through at least 20 or 30 bags. There were clothes,
toiletries, electronics, bags, etc…strewn all over the damn place.
Albert didn’t’ bother putting a single thing back after pulling it out
of a bag. After Albert was done with the bags he went over to the guys who were draining the plane parked next to ours septic system. I guess he is over there at the airport “helping” out a lot, because he seemed to know all of the guys working. It was like a big ol’ reunion with those guys. After they talked for a few minutes one of them pulled out an empty 1 gallon plastic milk jug and gave it to Albert. What happened next will haunt me forever. Albert actually put the septic hose attached to the plane over the milk bottle and filled it up with the chunky blueish green liquid.....the stuff didn’t just go in the bottle either, it went EVERYWHERE—all over his uniform and all over the runway. Once the bottle was completely filled Albert reattached the hose to the truck and then walked back behind the luggage cart where he was hidden from the view of the people in the airport terminal. The idiot didn't realize though that our plane was full of people, so we could all see him. Once he thought he was safe from view he started chugging down the chunky blue-green airplane water. He must have drank down 1/2 the bottle. After that he let out a big, noticeable sigh and was smiling from ear to ear...he seemed so proud of himself. He then went back to the hose and refilled his bottle, spilling even more of the shit-water all over place. He took a couple more small drinks and then jumped in one of those 3 wheel carts and drove off...just leaving behind a big ol' puddle of airplane sewage. Does anyone know why the airport lets him do that? He left a whole plane full of people disgusted. All of those people on that plane now have a negative view of Dominicans and of the Anaheim Angels. Is that really the kind of message we want to be sending to young people---that you too can be a big leaguer if you just drink a little shit-water? Heck, the pollution that he caused when he spilled the sewage should be enough to ban him from being able to access the runway. I don’t know what kind of arrangement he has worked out with the people at the airport, but its not right. Just because he’s a celebrity does not give him the right to do that. Here we have people getting violently yanked off planes while the Albert Pujols’ of the world are allowed to go out on the runway in a baseball uniform and steal waste-water. Not to mention that there were children on the plane and they shouldn't have to watch their hero do that. I swear, people let those celebrities get away with murder. |
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Fri, 14 Apr 2017 21:49:47 GMT
Pujols
is washed up. I don't even think eating Mike Trouts ass on a daily
basis will help. The best the Angels can hope for is Albert will sit in
the dugout and watch episodes of Mama's Family on his little TV without
pestering other players with his unwanted sexual advances.
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Anonymous
(Rookie)
wrote on Thu, 13 Apr 2017 21:25:16 GMT
This bum's batting average is now down to .184!
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Thu, 13 Apr 2017 07:33:31 GMT
It
is hard to believe that Pujols's batting average from 2001-2010 was
actually .331 as he totally sucks now. His swing and timing are off,
his plantar fascia is always ailing, and he has a torn butt hole. He
needs to get on a cycle of HGH and find the Fountain of Youth!
|
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Anonymous
(Rookie)
wrote on Thu, 13 Apr 2017 05:47:28 GMT
rgergegergregReply-to:He is so lucky that he hits behind Mike Trout as he is all but guaranteed to get a buttload of RBIs each season. |
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Thu, 13 Apr 2017 01:06:47 GMT
I
know he loves batting behind Trout as Trout notoriously stinks up the
batters box with rancid farts. Pujols loves to get in there and huff in
the stink before his at bat.
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Wed, 12 Apr 2017 07:49:49 GMT
He is so lucky that he hits behind Mike Trout as he is all but guaranteed to get a buttload of RBIs each season.
|
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sat, 08 Apr 2017 15:21:09 GMT
 |
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sat, 08 Apr 2017 15:20:21 GMT
 |
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Sat, 08 Apr 2017 06:19:40 GMT
After
another 0-for-4 game, Pujols now has just one single in 20 at-bats! He
is now officially terrible. He needs to service the homosexual needs
of Mike Trout to prove his worth to the Angels!
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Fri, 07 Apr 2017 23:09:45 GMT
Agreed. He needs to eat out Trout's ass while a homeless derelict really gives it to him in the ass!
|
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Fri, 07 Apr 2017 10:42:11 GMT
This
bum is now 1-for-16! He's just a shell of the player he was from
2001-10. He needs to eat out Mike Trout's ass to break out of this slump
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Wed, 05 Apr 2017 07:09:21 GMT
Pujols
once again went 0-4 and is still batting .000! Last year he started off
terribly until he started eating out homeless men's buttholes before
each game. He needs to get back on that regiments
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Tue, 04 Apr 2017 18:49:06 GMT
Pujols has sucked ever since he stopped taking HGH/steroids a few years ago. He needs to get on another cycle
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Tue, 04 Apr 2017 07:33:19 GMT
Pujols
went 0-3 today and has started off the season batting .000. He stinks
worse then his own green doo doo juice. I did not catch the game but
heard he was seen watching a little TV in the dugout once again. He was
watching an episode of "Mama's Family" on telemundo.
|
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Thu, 30 Mar 2017 00:59:37 GMT
Damn
Rook that's hot!! I wonder if his green doo doo juice ever leaks
through to his unirfom pants? I bet he must stink like ass when he comes
up to bat!
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Anonymous
(Rookie)
wrote on Wed, 29 Mar 2017 10:06:56 GMT
Albert
has a stinky diarrhea butthole. He leaves green doo-doo stains on his
underwear everyday. The Angels started giving Albert pairs of dark green
underwear so that his doo-doo stains will blend in with the fabric
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Tue, 28 Mar 2017 22:35:05 GMT
I
recently saw Albert at a comic book store. He bought a bunch of Garbage
Pail Kids cards then took a dump on the floor and left.
|
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sun, 26 Mar 2017 06:46:59 GMT
i want to jerk off into albert's mouth while he is taking a dump
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sat, 25 Mar 2017 00:36:38 GMT
Pujols
thinks overflowing a toilet is a badge of honor. He would get angry and
punch himself in the penis when he wasn't able to produce a shit big
enough to clog a toilet. What a weirdo!
|
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Fri, 24 Mar 2017 22:19:11 GMT
The
Cardinals also saved on plumbing costs in the clubhouse. I heard
Albert clogged the toilets, which overflowed with his green doo-doo
water at least 25 times during the 2010 season alone. He also
reportedly shit in the sink a few times a season because he thought it
helped him break out of hitting slumps.
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Anonymous
(Rookie)
wrote on Fri, 24 Mar 2017 18:28:27 GMT
Cardinals are the smartest team in baseball!! Not resigning pujlos.. He chose greed over a brilliant career.. its to bad
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Fri, 24 Mar 2017 03:25:45 GMT
I
heard that Albert paid big bucks recently to get notorious murderer Ed
Gein's fart in a jar. He plans cheating in the "smallest fart"
competition by releasing it if needed!
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Wed, 22 Mar 2017 16:52:43 GMT
I heard it might be. It may even be brought up by one of the major chains if Trout keeps trash talking!!I heard Bartolomew Colon go on an epic rant about how he will 'outblast' A-Rod, which got -Rod's lover aggresive and he lashed out during a press conference! The crowd were going mad for the violence! As an aside, Did Barolomew change his name? it Was Bartolomew Smith a few years ago, I am sure! |
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Wed, 22 Mar 2017 00:41:20 GMT
Vet
do you know if this years "Smelliest Fart" competition will be
televised on the Spice Channel? If Trout beats Pujols pandemonium will
break loose!
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Tue, 21 Mar 2017 22:21:50 GMT
Albert
has won the "Smelliest Fart" competition for the past 3 years that the
Angels team holds during every spring training. They are holding their
2017 competition next week and Mike Trout has really been praciticing by
gorging on Taco Bell, greasy pizzas, and super carbonated Mountain Dew
and grape soda! I think that Trout may take Albert this year!!!
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Mon, 20 Mar 2017 19:55:24 GMT
 |
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Mon, 20 Mar 2017 06:00:30 GMT
I
have a friend who was in a fancy Beverly Hills restaurant eating with
his wife. Albert came in wearing shorts and a wife beater, then
proceeded over to their table where he ripped a loud fart, then took a
disgusting dump on the table! He then ate some of my friends food right
off his plate then headed back out into the night. What an inconsiderate
asshole! He totally ruined my friends night.
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sat, 18 Mar 2017 21:42:54 GMT
I've
heard that while Albert is violating some poor suckers toilet and home
his queer lover the "Problem Child" guy lurks outside, normally in the
bushes, jerking off. Many people have said that his stink lingers for
weeks forcing them to relive the horrid event.
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Anonymous
(Rookie)
wrote on Sat, 18 Mar 2017 17:48:35 GMT
I
think he genuinely thinks people want to see his ass- art and it his
valuable. This is certainly supported by his rabid queer fanbase who
dote on his every move...I actually heard the opposite on the Trout
fight. Trout was angry he did not follow through on his face and instead
done it in the sink. Not that he was offended by his juicy fart
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sat, 18 Mar 2017 00:07:16 GMT
Pujols
is a total nightmare on and off the field. From his absurd relationship
with the Problem Child guy, to his breaking into random people's homes
to take shits, to his dugout shenanigans and now shitting in the sink on
a plane. When will President Trump take action and declare this asshole
persona non grata and fire his smelly ass back to the Dominican
Republic?
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Fri, 17 Mar 2017 14:41:51 GMT
For
the sake of the Angels, we can only hope that Mike Trout and Albert
Pujols have healed their rift from last season. During a flight from
Orange County, CA to New York for a series with the Yankees last season,
Trout was sitting in a seat near the bathroom when Albert suddenly
badly had to go - it was Albert's own fault for gorging on 10 greasy
Taco Bell tacos before that long flight. There was a line for the
bathroom, so Albert was standing in the aisle near the bathroom when he
couldn't wait any longer and suddenly ripped a loud and smelly fart
which quickly stuck up the entire airplane cabin! Trout took particular
offense, as Albert's ass was maybe two feet from Trout's face's during
this epic fart. Trout yelled at Pujols that he a used-up dirtbag! When
Albert finally got into the bathroom, he apparently shit in the sink
instead of the toilet for some strange reason and as a result the
bathroom reeked for the next 3 hours of the flight. Supposedly this
rift was one reason why the Angels sucks so badly last year
|
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Fri, 17 Mar 2017 07:31:14 GMT
Kim Jong Un, Pyoungang, North Korea
|
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Fri, 17 Mar 2017 06:23:58 GMT
I
saw that th Angels have banned that Problem Child guy from the dugout.
Albert had told them he was part of his private medical staff but all
they saw was the guy jerking Albert off! What's up with that?
|
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Tue, 14 Mar 2017 08:01:49 GMT
I
recently stopped at a Cinnabon in LAX. The guy behind the counter had a
name tag that said "Albert". I'm pretty sure it was Albert. I'm also
pretty certain that bastard farted on my Cinnabon. It tasted like anus!
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Anonymous
(Rookie)
wrote on Mon, 13 Mar 2017 22:25:55 GMT
deport this greaseball back to mexico, where he's from!
|
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Anonymous
(Rookie)
wrote on Mon, 13 Mar 2017 11:31:48 GMT
Why is Albert always trying to share toilet seats with random men? What is wrong with that guy?
|
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Mon, 13 Mar 2017 05:50:12 GMT
Jason is a menace! He just seems to travel the country forcing his deviant behavior on the unsuspecting public!
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sun, 12 Mar 2017 12:23:55 GMT
I
was at the St. Louis Galleria Mall last month when I suddenly had to
expel the contents of my bowels of the Taco Bell I had eaten for lunch
that day. I went to a stall in the men's room at sat down to take a
shit when all of a sudden someone started pounding on the door. I heard
"Hey, I'm Albert Pujols, please let me in! I need to use the toilet!"
He asked if he could share my toilet set. It was a weird request, but I
agreed because I thought he would give me an autograph. So I said he
could come in and he asked if I could step aside for a second so he
could get rid of "doo doo water" from his butthole. So I stood up and
then Albert spun me around and knelt down and belched into my asshole
and then said, "Yeah, take that belch!!!" and then sniffed my anus. Then
he turned around and walked out - I never saw him again. I don't even
know why he was in St. Louis that day as he no longer even lives in the
St. Louis area as far as I know
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sun, 12 Mar 2017 08:53:28 GMT
Albert should be deported back to the Dominican Republic where shit like that is normal and tolerated.
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sat, 11 Mar 2017 14:45:18 GMT
Stevie,
you need to tell your parents about what happened! Albert Pujols
should not be asking to see your privates or showing any little boys his
hairless balls. He's a pervert!
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Anonymous
(Rookie)
wrote on Sat, 11 Mar 2017 02:25:48 GMT
HELLO,
MY NAME IS STEVIE AND IM 7. DOS NE-ONE NO IF I CAN HAVE ALBERT POJOLS
SIGNE MY BASBALL GLOVE IF I GO TO A GAME???? IF I GO ERLY FOR BATING
DRILS? MY FREIND CHRISTOPHER SAYS HE HAD TO SHOW HIM HIS PRIVATES TO
PROVE HE HS NO HAIRS ON THEM BEFORE ALLBER SIGNS GLOVES OR BALS. AFTER
HE SHOW ALBERT NO HAIR ALBER ALSO SHOWED HIM HIS AND SAID "WE TWINS I
HAVE NO HAIR 2 BECUSE I SHAVED MINE". I DONT WANT TO SHOW MINE BUT I
RELAY WANT A SIGNATURE!?!?!??!?
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sat, 11 Mar 2017 02:05:20 GMT
I
saw on TMZ that Albert was at the Grove recently eating at the
Cheescake Factory with that guy who played Junior in the Problem Child
Movies. It was really weird that when their food came they went into
the bathroom to eat it. I live in Australia and we don't do that here.
Is that normal in the US? Why would someone want to eat their food while
listening to people take smelly dumps?
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sat, 11 Mar 2017 00:07:20 GMT
Pujols is one weird dude. I bet that idiot did believe he was disguised because he wore a Cubs uniform.
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Fri, 10 Mar 2017 14:25:09 GMT
No idea, I heard from a reliable witness that he was driving up and down the road, asking if there were any public restroomsIt shows the kind of humour he has if he made a mess in tha restroom because of the sign. Or does he genuinely believe that that was what the customers wanted to see? Hi cubs uniform appeared at least two sizes too tight as well, and looked off the rack - so it can't be his playing kit. |
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Fri, 10 Mar 2017 13:40:43 GMT
Why
was Albert Pujols wearing a Cubs uniform??? Did he really think that
people wouldn't recognize him if he wore a Cubs uniform??
|
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Fri, 10 Mar 2017 00:50:33 GMT
Pujols
is a damn menace. I remember a story a few months back where Albert
burst into some random guys home and went green doo doo all over the
place!
|
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Anonymous
(Rookie)
wrote on Thu, 09 Mar 2017 18:07:38 GMT
Hi
all, I work in a burger king at Chicago, and I am the janitor, I hate
this job! There are so many bums making a mess in there. To stop this, I
put up a sign:'Please leave the toilet as you would expect to find it' Thankfully, people were polite and the toilets became cleaner. One day I see Pujols rush in, wearing his cubs uniform (despite being off season, which was weird) and rush to the toilets. As a public figure, I wasn't worried as he should be a perfect model. However, I then heard loud grunting, a fapping sound, and i could hear someone screaming out for 'god's forgiveness' as huge fart sounds rocked the restaurant! Once he left, he high fived a fat dude sitting near the toilet and told some kid's proudly ' that some brown hostages have been dropped off into the pool' When I went in, the whole place was brown, with only snatches of porcelain, a crude picture of a dong was smeared on the wall in faeces and numerous toilet tissues and jizz were plasteered over the sink - the toilet bowl itself was clean, apart from tongue marks I am absolutely disgusted at this behaviour!! |
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Thu, 09 Mar 2017 01:45:55 GMT
I
can't wait for the season to start. This season the Angels are selling
super premium seats in the dugout next to Albert. One lucky fan will get
to sit next Albert and listen to him fart and belch as well as discuss
Albert's diarrhea and love for the TV show Saved by the Bell. There is
no guarentee but one is also likely to have hot man action with Albert
including him belching loudly into ones asshole.
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Wed, 08 Mar 2017 17:33:32 GMT
I
would love it if Albert belched onto my asshole after drinking a
2-liter of Pepsi! I'd like to spray diarrhea on his face at the same
time!! Someone please put me in contact with his agent
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Wed, 08 Mar 2017 00:20:24 GMT
I
have solid information that Albert is not doing his normal spring
training routine. He is instead training with the groundskeepers and
having hot man love with them. He feels once he retires it will be good
to have a new skill to fall back on. He reportedly spends every penny he
makes on gay porn, Taco Bell, and jars of farts.
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Fri, 03 Mar 2017 22:55:17 GMT
I want to mine for gold in Albert's asshole.
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Thu, 02 Mar 2017 06:52:39 GMT
I
wish Milo had followed them to Bayside. It would have been nice to see
him continue to teach Screech those valuable lessons. Instead Mr.
Belding had to take a much larger role in educating Screech's asshole.
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Wed, 01 Mar 2017 12:26:43 GMT
Yeah
I remember it used to be sweet relief switching over from watching the
whimsy of 'pee wee's playhouse' to full frontal scenes of Milo's sweath
brown eye winking at me as he ploughed Screech for his many
indiscretions!We all talked about the episode for hours in class the following monday |
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Wed, 01 Mar 2017 08:20:34 GMT
Milo's
dong was the sized of a Pringles can. He enjoyed calling Screech "White
Chowder" and had a catchphrase "Milo gon git his" before he raped
Screech. He did this to teach Screech lessons as many times idiot
Screech insulted Milo with racist comments. The rabidly gay teacher and
student body would then watch the "lesson" while cheering and jerking
off. It was quite the Saturday morning show.
|
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Tue, 28 Feb 2017 21:00:50 GMT
Yes
me too. Am I imagining things or was Milo's dong salami tube sized? I
remember one episode where screech was hoisted up on it in front of the
hooting bayside mob!
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Tue, 28 Feb 2017 02:23:45 GMT
Milo
the Janitor played a large role in the early days. For some reason he
wore a shirt and tie and hung out in the main office and teachers lounge
even though he was a janitor. I loved the episodes where he would
assault Screech with his mop or crack pipe!
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Sun, 26 Feb 2017 21:41:18 GMT
Wasn't
there a janitor as well in saved by the bell? I remember losing copious
loads to the thought of him throwing me down a coal scutt and ravishing
me raw dog style!
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Sun, 26 Feb 2017 21:39:31 GMT
Mhmm that screech story so hawt!
|
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sat, 25 Feb 2017 02:14:40 GMT
Today
I was in bed with Albert when he turned on his favorite tv show Saved
By The Bell. It was the episode where Screech is Bayside High's unpaid
bathroom atrendent. Mr. Belding comes in to use the urinal and catches
Screech trying to watch him piss. Mr. Belding turns and urinates on
Screech, then drop kicks him in the face. He then tears off Screech's
Zubaz pants and begins ass raping him! Screech repeatedly yells
"Zoinks" which further enraged Mr. B who begins yanking chunks of
Screech's Jew fro out of his head while repeatedly smashing Screech's
head into the stall door. This episode really turned on Albert who
become highly aroused and demanded I play Mr. Belding while he played
Screech. He put on a Jew fro wig and Zubaz pants and we really had some
fun!
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sat, 18 Feb 2017 08:21:55 GMT
Today
I was in bed with Albert and he was watching Saved by the Bell. It was
episode where Screech complains that Mr. Belding's farts are disgusting.
This enrages Mr. Belding who immedialty sits on Screech's face and
begins ripping fart after fart until Screech's Jew fro is burnt offf and
his face is brown. I noticed Albert God a massive boner while watching
this highly erotic episode! He was then ready for another 4 hour session
of hot man action!
|
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Fri, 17 Feb 2017 21:53:57 GMT
 |
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Fri, 17 Feb 2017 21:53:30 GMT
 |
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Mon, 13 Feb 2017 00:01:34 GMT
I
saw Albert with that Problem Child kid. They were grabbing each other's
asses, and although I was at least 25 yards away I could smell the BO
coming off the Problem Child. I doubt he's bathed in years and he looks
homeless. He and Albert then headed towards a dumpster where I later
heard loud moaning and a number of farts.
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sat, 11 Feb 2017 04:27:54 GMT
I want to go scuba diving in the puddle of semen in Albert's ass-crack
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Fri, 10 Feb 2017 09:04:14 GMT
Crotch Itch, NYC Sewer System
|
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Fri, 10 Feb 2017 09:02:58 GMT
Can anyone confirm that Albert is dating the guy who played "Junior" in the Problem Child movies?
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Wed, 08 Feb 2017 02:35:40 GMT
Albert is currently living in the sewers looking for the garbage pail kids.
|
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Mon, 06 Feb 2017 03:08:02 GMT
I
saw Albert in the parking lot of the Super Bowl. He didn't have a
ticket. He just said he heard they had nice port o potties and he was
looking to hook up in one. It was pretty strange. He then bent forward
and left a huge fart.
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sat, 04 Feb 2017 06:27:28 GMT
Is Albert playing this season? I heard he might retire and become a bathroom attendent a the stadium?
|
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sat, 28 Jan 2017 04:55:02 GMT
I
have a life straw and in no way would I trust it to clean Albert's doo
doo water. I'm pretty sure it can not remove viruses and I'm certain
Albert is full of them.
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Thu, 26 Jan 2017 20:58:19 GMT
Hey,
I found this YouTube video of some kid drinking Mexican "Doo Doo
Water"! He didn't like it, but I bet he'd enjoy some of Albert's green
doo doo water!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGd8ccsJZ10 |
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Thu, 26 Jan 2017 06:08:47 GMT
I
am the CEO of Dr. Pepper and am interested in bottling a carbonated
version of Albert Pujol's "Green Doo Doo Water." We will market it to
the gay and Dominican communities. Albert needs to contact me so we can
proceed as he's sitting on a goldmine!
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Anonymous
(Rookie)
wrote on Wed, 25 Jan 2017 19:07:10 GMT
If
you had one of those life straws that are supposed to eliminate the
harmful bacteria from untreated water, would it be safe to drink Albert
Pujol's Green doo-doo Water???
|
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Tue, 24 Jan 2017 08:25:44 GMT
Albert
brings so much joy to baseball fans and the gay community in general.
Should we as a society send Albert back to Mexico, Puerto Rico,
Dominican Republic, or wherever he's from simply because he makes green
do doo water which he sprays in the toilets of unsuspecting homeowners?
Maybe we'd all be better off if we made Albert go through a car wash by
himself in order to clean his filthy ass? Perhaps someone could also
hold Albert down on the ground while someone else uses a fire hose to
clean Albert's anus? It's something to think about...
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Tue, 24 Jan 2017 06:36:44 GMT
I've
written a letter to President Trump regarding this pressing issue.
Hopefully he quickly takes action. I let him know that Albert is making
green doo doo water in the homes of unsespecting, hard working, US
citizens. I've asked that he take immediate action and either kick
Albert out of the country, or sew Albert's nasty butthole shut.
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Anonymous
(Rookie)
wrote on Mon, 23 Jan 2017 05:19:24 GMT
Pistol
Pete should have called the police. If Albert walked into my house
uninvited and made smelly, green, chocolate milk doo-doo in my toilet I
would call the cops. We can't let athletes get away with this kind of
thing any more. They need to be held accountable. Albert Pujols has also
been seen and caught on camera hundred of times throughout Orange
County and St. Louis throwing fast food trash out of his car window. I
was behind him on the freeway when he threw Arbys and Jack in the Box
bags and wrappers out of his window. A big glop of mayonnaise covered
tomato and lettuce landed on the windshield of the car driving next to
me. Albert could have caused a major fender bender!!!! He has no
respect for people's houses, bathrooms, or the environment. We've had
enough, Pujols has to go!!!!!!
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sun, 22 Jan 2017 03:12:46 GMT
Albert
gets most of his meals from homeless men's filthy assholes. So him
having intestinal issues is not surprising. I once saw him eat a rotten
avacado from a homeless men's butt crack.
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Sat, 21 Jan 2017 07:30:01 GMT
Maybe
Albert had eaten dinner at a fondue restaurant? I ate at one with my
wife last night and just went diarrhea as a result. My diarrhea isn't
green like Albert's, although he may have had food poisoning or an
intestinal virus
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Anonymous
(Veteran)
wrote on Sat, 21 Jan 2017 03:04:39 GMT
Poor
Pete. His house is probably worthless after that and will wind up being
condemned and destroyed. Nothing will get rid of the vile stench that
eminates from Albert's asshole.
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Fri, 20 Jan 2017 06:23:49 GMT
That
was quite rude of Albert to walk in uninvited and then use and overflow
Pete's toilet without even bothering to shut the door, wipe, flush, or
wash his hands. Maybe Albert had bad food poisoning and was so
embarrassed that he left so abruptly?
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Anonymous
(Rookie)
wrote on Fri, 20 Jan 2017 05:14:49 GMT
Last
nigh Albert showed up to my friend Pete's Wednesday night poker game
uninvited. Pete and the rest of the guys dont even know how Albert
could have possibly known about the game or where he lived, because he
has never met any of those guys. He just showed up, walked in the house
without knocking and sat down at the table without even so much as an
introduction. Right after sitting Albert started bragging about how
much Mongolian BBQ he ate before coming over. Because he's such a
famous baseball player, Pete just sat there speechless, in shock that
the famous Albert Pujols was in his dining room, and made the mistake of
not asking him to leave.About 5 minutes after walking into Pete's house uninvited, Albert got up and walked around the downstairs until he found Pete's bathroom. He went in and plopped down on the toilet, not closing the door behind him. Seconds later Pete says all he heard was Albert groaning and moaning. He was making gurgling sounds, and then he said ""OHHH, BUENO, BUENO....UHHHHH....ME GUSTA....OHHHHHH"....between the loudest, wettest sounding farts any of the guys had ever heard. Albert then screamed in a super high pitched voice "eeee wheeeee wheeeee...GREEN CHOCOLATE MILK IS COMING OUT OF MY ASS....eeeeeeekkkkkk tree teeehhhhheeeeee".....and the whole house became filled with the most vile, repugnant odor that the guys had ever experienced. One of them compared it to a swimming in a pool filled with week old dirty diapers. I guess Albert then got up, pulled his pants on and left Pete's house without saying a word. No apology, no explanation, nada. He didn't bother to wipe, he didn't flush, and he didn't wash his hands. He just skipped out of the house smiling and laughing the creepiest laugh the guys had ever heard. Pete says that they all just sat their for several moments in stunned silence, while choking on the toxic fumes, unsure of what had just happened. He also said that Albert left the toilet bowl overflowing, with green runny diarrhea all over the seat and floor, and that the house still doesn't smell right 24 hours later. What kind of big leaguer does something like that? He's no hall of fame in my book after doing something like that to my friend Pete. |
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Thu, 19 Jan 2017 21:41:30 GMT
Which
baseball record is Albert most likely to break in the coming years? I
think that the RBI record is the one at which he has the best chance.
He doesn't have the power or speed to break the home run or double
records, but he still drives in a lot of runs. I could also see him breaking the record for most anuses tongued during a double-header game! |
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Anonymous
(Sophomore)
wrote on Wed, 18 Jan 2017 06:15:44 GMT
albert is a gaywad
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