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| | Another single. Man, this guy is a BEAST!!! All Star and MVP bound. Will go down as the games greatest singles hitter/motivational speaker of all time and a shoe in to be a first ballot HOFer. |
| Let's see now, for Heyward that would be $131,428.57 per single. Can't ask for better value than that, right Theo? Worth every "single" penny! |
| Heyward slugs his 14th single, now up to 16 total bases for the year. He is now on pace to be the all time ML single season singles leader with 175 singles and a whopping 200 Total Bases. Ought to be worth another 3 years/75 mil. tacked on, with guaranteed number retirement at the end of his career. Get it done, Theo. |
| Sophomore, how dare you harass Jason's queer fans! Jason is a terrible baseball player, so he needs all of the fans he can get, regardless of their sexual orientation. The head of Jason's gay fan club is an affable young man named D'Sean. I met D'Sean at a KFC in Lakeview last year while I was eating dinner. I was filling up my cup with Mountain Dew at the soda machine and D'Sean was just standing there - I asked him why and he said that the machine wasn't dispensing grape soda, but that he just complained to an employee who said the manager would come look at it. Anyway, about a minute later, I was shocked when Jason Heyward emerged from the back of the kitchen where he was apparently cooking fried chicken. He was actually wearing his Cubs uniform for some odd reason. Jason fixed some cord on the back of the machine , which seemed to fix the grape soda dispensing. He then apologized to D'Sean and belched in his face, which D'Sean loved. D'Sean then pulled down his baggy pants and boxers and Jason bent over and belched loudly in D'Sean's asshole! D'Sean climaxed immediately, jizzing across the floor. A fat black woman walking back to get a refill of grape soda slipped on the semen, which was pretty funny. Jason then asked if anyone else needed an anal belch and five random dudes raised their hands, and Jason then proceeded to belch in their assholes as well. So one thing led to another and after about 15 minutes, there was semen, shit, and urine all over the floor and it smelled like a sewer on their. I heard that they had to call in the fire deputy hose down the restaurant at the end of the night. All in all, I would say Jason is a great guy who really cares about his gay fans!!! |
| You Faggots have been pretty quiet lately ! Must be pretty tired from the holey weekend. |
| AMEN to (Sophmore) Sat, 15 Apr 2017 01:44:09 CMT. Well said! |
| Woo-hooo! What a masher! 13 singles, 15 total bases! Definitely makes him worth his $23,000,000 for the year. Now staking his claim to Most Valuable Cub! As well as being their most valuable Motivational Speaker. Cubs need to extend him to 10 years, 250 million. IMMEDIATELY! C'mon Theo, gitterdone! |
| Gayward is slugging .333. Already has 1 xbh on the season. Unbelievable value for 184$ mill. You just cannot find fags with that combination of singles hitting and gay favors. Cubs are so lucky to have him in the clubhouse. |
| Jason is a raging homosexual. He had an affair with former bear kordell Stewart. |
| Sophomore you sound like a deranged cannibal. Chewing on the testicles of your queer lovers. I bet you would love to chow down on a nice shit loaf, while Jason Heyward belched loudly in your face. |
| Jason is a mentally deranged homosexual |
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Soph
- 5:45:15. Sounds like a nice challenge. But your nut sack would be
history. I like mountain oysters ; especially from fags like you.
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Sophomore,
this is a Jason Heyward Sucks Forum. It is not limited to a discussion
of his awful hitting. Instead, the purpose of this forum is to discuss
how Jason Heyward sucks in any way possible. This is obviously a broad
category and does include discussions of his sex life and bodily
functions.
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Sophmore
I want to pin you down and give you a nice teabagging. This board
evolved into discussing not only Jason's heinous baseball play, it
delved even further into his personal life, including monster belches,
farts, grape soda, and fried chicken. This is now a quality board that
takes fans behind the scenes. I for one enjoy hearing about Jason
creating his own super carbonated grape soda. His fart prowess being
finished by legendary pepperoni fart man John Pepperoni. His motivation
speech battle with Anthony Rizzo. This makes a true forum. Not your old
Heyward stinks comments over and over.
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Hey
brainless, 1 track mind yo-yos -- this forum originated last year to
critique Heywards BASEBALL shortcomings! How all this mindless idiotic
shit started about his farts, belches, grape soda, homo tendencies, bat
of shit, ETC comments "evolved" is beyond me! By the way, if u are home
on a Friday night making this your world then that certainly proves u
are, indeed, a lonesome loser. Gotta go now : have to say Mass in a few
minutes. May God have mercy on your lost souls !
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Happy Easter Sports Fans ! I predict J Hey knocks in 3 runs on Easter. Whether it's THIS Easter, we are not sure ? !
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Rook
I believe that for an extra few bucks Jason was sucking dudes off along
side of signing autographs. He obviously couldn't advertise this but it
was well known in the gay community. I'm sure that's why his cock
breath was off the charts.
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I
met Heyward at an autograph signing in February. He has awful cock
breath! He was drinking a two liter of grape Crush when he belched and
then the entire room smelled like a cock!
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Rook
I don't know what amazing bygone days you're dreaming of? This board
was a dud until Jason's queer fans discovered it and livened it up!
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Rookie,
good riddance! If you don't want to discuss Jason's love of KFC and
grape soda, or his belching and farting prowess, then you should
probably stop posting here
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I
am with you! The inmates have taken over the asylum!! How much
mindless drivel can a fan stand? That's it for me. This forum has lost
all its former style and humor. Not even mildly amusing anymore. All
that's left is nothing!! Moving on to more cerebral sites. Adios
morons....
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My
case in point exactly from the previous 2 posts. You 2 sad
Neanderthals are a waste of oxygen. Go sniff some bycycle seats at a
grade school. That's more your speed. Maybe there will be some fresh
feces for u to lick offf , Losers!
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Is
that true that Jason's bat is made of petrified shit? That has to be
against MLB rules. Also Roik 14:01:36 get the hell out of here. This
board is for queers only to discuss Jason's belches, farts, and bat made
of shit.
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Hey Rookie, I'm going to fire my seed down your throat, you cum guzzler
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This
forum and the idiotic posts by the low brows reminds me of Jr High when
the teacher wrote on blackboard then left the classroom and the class
clown would write something "funny" on the board while the teacher was
gone.
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I
ran into Jason at the KFC on Irving Park Rd in Chicago the other day.
He was eating a big bucket of fried chicken and drinking a large cup of
grape soda. He was kind enough to sign some autographs and belch for
everyone. He's a great guy!
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Isn't
this just because his 'bat' is made out of solid fecal matter? He
bought it to training one day and said it was a lucky bat passed down
from generation to generation
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Jason
is a national treasure. After farting and belching the Cubs into a
World Series he is now hitting like a madman and still finding time to
rip tons of ass and let loose monster belches. What a stud! I heard he
is also finding time to service some of his queer fans penis and ass
needs after each game!
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Maybe,
just maybe - J Hay wins Comeback Player of the Year Award ?? Then
what will we do? So far he has been a couple light years ahead of last
seasons performances, and he is actually helping the Cubs at the plate
!!
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Heyward
is actually hitting .333 right now. Is it possible that he played so
poorly last year because he was consciously holding in his farts,
whereas after the World Series he just decided to rip ass and belch
whenever and wherever he wants? Whatever he's doing, it's working now
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Jason
is currently batting .313 while Kris Bryant and Anthony Rizzo are below
.200. Jason's off season spent motivating Fortune 500 executives with
his farts and belches was capped off by Jason creating an invigorating
super carbonated grape soda. This soda is powering Jason's belches, and
bat!
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He could come good again. He has the physicality, I think it is just psychological
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Why was he starting in the opener, out of position much less? Makes zero sense.
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When
will the Cubs release this bum? I couldn't believe the Cubs signed him
to that 7-year, $184 million contract when I first heard it as I've
never thought of him as a superstar, but he's a huge liability now. Will
the Cubs release him in a couple years if he doesn't improve or even
gets worse and eat $100 million left on his contract at that point?
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Maybe the sight of Anthony Rizzo's balls and ass was more motivating to the Cubs than Heyward's speech/fart/belch during Game 7?
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Jason
has been called out by the nude speeches Anthony Rizzo gave. I'm
certain they highly homoerotic and sparked the Cubs to victory much more
the a few farts and belches from Jason Hayward!
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Agreed,
Maddon would have been been defended by the slobbering love affair of
the media and spared most of the blame by them and thus many fans. Also
remember, Hartman had absolutely nothing to do with Alex Gonzalez
booting the double play ball that would have ended the 8th inning with
the Cubs still up 3-1. But no, all the drunks in the stands reserved
their hate for Hartman, mainly I think , because of Alou's angry
reaction. And then the media building up the false story of THAT being
the main cause of the collapse.
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I
doubt that Cubs fans would have given Maddon the scorn they gave
Bartman. Of course, Bartman was just some random goofy guy in the stands
who reached for a foul ball just like everyone sitting around him. Yet
Bartman received so much hate and blame even though he wasn't the one
who kept a rattled Prior in the game pitching for too long and didn't
influence the next game where the Cubs lost. I bet Cubs fans would have
given Maddon a pass for managing the team into to World Series even
though he almost single-handily lost it for the Cubs. I talked to a
friend who is a big Cubs fan after the World Series and he actually
thinks Heyward is a good player and Maddon used the pitchers properly in
the World Series!
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Yeah
Soph, you're right. Maddon would have been a bigger goat than Heyward.
God really should have been the WS MVP. Without the rain delay,
Cleveland had all the momentum and I believe would have won and made
Maddon the new Steve Bartman.
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Hey
Soph, who was less valuable during the 2016 World Series? Heyward or
Joe Maddon, the manager? Heyward seemed to do everything to help the
Indians with his awful play on the field. But Maddon made some of the
worst managerial decisions I've ever seen and almost single-handed my
lost the World Series for the Cubs. Maddon's misuse of the closer,
Chapman, was mind-boggling!
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Tribune
article almost made me vomit. Not one word about how he contributed
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING (except an out} when he batted during the winning
rally, much less during the entire WS. What nerve to speak up in the
clubhouse, like a leader, after such a worthless, miserable, pathetic
season and WS! And then to go on national TV when asked to, to take
credit for it? LOL. He should have been slinking off to the showers,
hoping nobody would notice and remind him how worthless he had been and
that the Cubs had won DESPITE of him, NOT because of him!
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The
Chicago Tribune had yet another tribute to this clown's "motivational
speech" in Saturday's edition of the paper! This is so ridiculous as he
was all but worthless during the World Series except for the alleged
motivational speech/fart/belch!
http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/columnists/ct-jason-heyward-speech-cubs-sullivan-spt-0402-20170401-column.html
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Ripped a single to tie the game. They gave him a hit on a routine ground ball. What a turd
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JHey
roaring out of the gate with his "new" swing. Starts with a sizzling 0
fer 3 plus an error called a hit. WooooHoooo!!! MVP season coming up!
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Right
on! Let's keep this up and drain this swamp of all the stinking sewage
and take this forum back to higher ground again where it was at the end
of the 2016 WS. What say ye?
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JHey
starting in CF over Almora. Maddon told not to set a $184 mil. mistake
on opening night despite a pathetic, losing attempt to correct his
swing. Don't think he or the coaches have a clue how to correct such a
mess! Welcome to another year of futility from him, Cub fans!!
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here here! well said Rookie. This place has really turned into a swamp. Sophomore, stop with your fecal jokes!
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Have
I said one derogatory or hateful word about your sexual orientation? NO
and you KNOW it. You could be as heterosexual as Bill Clinton and I
would have used the EXACT same words. I could care less about your
sexual orientation. Go ahead and hide behind the "hate crime" wall that
protects you and many others in our PC culture. You may have pulled the
wool over the eyes of the media and guilty liberals in this world, but
there are still at least half of us out here who have not fallen for
your tripe. We are far more tolerant of other "viewpoints" than the
"intolerant liberal left" has ever been. This forum has not been filled
with "viewpoints" for the last 5 or 6 months. It has been filled with
nothing but pure, HATE FILLED garbage directed at a very decent and
likeable human being. He just HAPPENS to be the most worthless, pathetic
hitter/motivational speaker in all of baseball who makes superstar
millions. Now tell me who are the REAL HATE MONGERS on this forum????
Hmmmmmm?? ......................crickets.
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Well said Sophmore. I don't come in here to read and post hot eroticism in order to be judged by some hate monger!
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Hey
Rook, it is illegal to harass people based on their sexual orientation
and may be constitute a hate crime. If I want to post here that I want
to fart in Jason's face or want him to belch into my ass crack while
giving me a vigorous reach-around, then I have every right to do so even
if you are so closed-minded as to consider such actions as
"disgusting," "filthy," "rotten," or "sickening." Please be tolerant of
opposing viewpoints
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No
joke. I'll keep posting this over and over until you creeps get off of
this forum and give it back to the true Braves, Cardinal, and Cub fans
who use to post here. Give up your sick posts, they aren't funny any
more. We are all SICK OF THEM!!!!!!
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Rookie, is this some kind of weird April Fool's joke?
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THIS
IS THE MOST DISGUSTING, FILTHY, ROTTEN, SICKENING, NOT FUNNY FORUM
SINCE IT WAS TAKEN OVER BY THE MOST MENTALLY DERANGED PEOPLE ON THIS
EARTH!!!!!!!!!! THIS ROTTEN FILTH HAS WENT ON SINCE A WEEK OR TWO AFTER
THE WORLD SERIES!!! WE USE TO BE ABLE TO MAKE FUN OF THIS $23,000,000 A
YEAR, GROSSLY OVERPAID, MISERABLE, PATHETIC JOKE OF A
HITTER/MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER WITH MOSTLY CLEAN, TRULY FUNNY, &
ORIGINAL HUMOR!!! AND WE ALL LAUGHED OUR HEADS OFF SEEING WHO COULD TOP
THE LAST POST. BUT THE HIJACKING OF THIS FORUM BY YOU DISGUSTING
PERVERTS FOR THE LAST 5 MONTHS OR SO HAS RUINED THIS FORUM FOR THE REST
OF US WHO VERY SELDOM EVEN BOTHER TO GLANCE AT IT ANYMORE. HOW ANYONE
CAN THINK THAT ALMOST 6 MONTHS OF FARTING AND BELCHING JOKES IS STILL
FUNNY IS BEYOND ALL OF OUR COMPEHENSIONS. YOU HANDFULL (OR LESS) OF
PATHETIC, CHILDISH PERVERTED HIJACKERS SHOULD ALL GO BACK TO SLITHERING
INTO YOUR SNAKE HOLES WHERE YOU BELONG, LIKE THE LOWEST SCUM OF THE
EARTH THAT YOU
ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Rook
01:46:07 thanks for the laugh. Your all caps rant about how awesome
your "clean" jokes were compared to the erotic tales now on this board
gave be a nice laugh. I wish Jason was belching into my anus after
drinking a 3 liter of his delicious grape soda!
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Stop
attacking the people who post here! There do seem to be quite a few
homosexual fans of Jason Heyward, but why is this so troubling to you?
Jason Heyward is a horrible baseball player, and is probably more
valuable to the Cubs when he's sitting on the bench ripping ass and
belching in the faces of his teammates, as a form of motivational
therapy
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THIS
IS THE MOST DISGUSTING, FILTHY, ROTTEN, SICKENING, NOT FUNNY FORUM
SINCE IT WAS TAKEN OVER BY THE MOST MENTALLY DERANGED PEOPLE ON THIS
EARTH!!!!!!!!!! THIS ROTTEN FILTH HAS WENT ON SINCE A WEEK OR TWO AFTER
THE WORLD SERIES!!! WE USE TO BE ABLE TO MAKE FUN OF THIS $23,000,000 A
YEAR, GROSSLY OVERPAID, MISERABLE, PATHETIC JOKE OF A
HITTER/MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER WITH MOSTLY CLEAN, TRULY FUNNY, &
ORIGINAL HUMOR!!! AND WE ALL LAUGHED OUR HEADS OFF SEEING WHO COULD TOP
THE LAST POST. BUT THE HIJACKING OF THIS FORUM BY YOU DISGUSTING
PERVERTS FOR THE LAST 5 MONTHS OR SO HAS RUINED THIS FORUM FOR THE REST
OF US WHO VERY SELDOM EVEN BOTHER TO GLANCE AT IT ANYMORE. HOW ANYONE
CAN THINK THAT ALMOST 6 MONTHS OF FARTING AND BELCHING JOKES IS STILL
FUNNY IS BEYOND ALL OF OUR COMPEHENSIONS. YOU HANDFULL (OR LESS) OF
PATHETIC, CHILDISH PERVERTED HIJACKERS SHOULD ALL GO BACK TO SLITHERING
INTO YOUR SNAKE HOLES WHERE YOU BELONG, LIKE THE LOWEST SCUM OF THE
EARTH THAT YOU
ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I
hope Jason makes a recovery and really takes care of his ability to
belch. Although he will never compete professionally as a fart master he
can still belch with the best of them. Unfortunately for him he was mad
he was seen correctly as a one note pony and really wanted to have his
ass respected as well. His punishment came when he blew out his ass.
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Jason
blew out his O-ring trying to force out some farts during the
offseason. Unless his butthole makes a full recovery, his career as a
motivational farter may be over! He was never a match for John Pepperoni
or Anthony Rizzo in the farting department anyway. He needs to improve
his motivational belching technique- if he damages his throat, he'll be
completely done as a motivational speaker!!
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I
have seen the video. Jason was trying to blast some pre Rizzo speech
blasts to warm up the crowd and failed miserably. His Cred as a
realiable fart man is shot.
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To
vet below. You know nothing about what went one in the changing room. I
was told on good authority that JH usually works as the hype man,
churning out deep farts like pipesmoke rings
This gets the crowd in a frenzy for the hot speeches
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Jason
is all boast and little fart. Even his title as motivational speech
giver was blown out of the water when it was released that Anthony Rizzo
was giving nude speeches!
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He is notoriously boastful about his farting technique!
'Seafood'
Sammy Colon ( a 1993 MVF (most valuable fart) recipient once told an
anecdote about how he cooked up a fart that emitted green gas. He then
threw down to JH who could barely even muster a brown tinge
Yet years later, JH was overheard boasting about how he 'showed up' Seafood on his own patch with a multicoloured ass blast!
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I
posted one week ago how Heyward was only hitting .143 in Spring
Training. However, he went on a hot streak (for him), hitting a torrid
.182 last week! His batting average is now up to .152. He's nowhere
near the Mendonza Line, but he's hitting better than he did during the
2016 playoffs.
He'd better perfect his inspirational farting and belching technique if he wants a roster spot!!
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Nice analysis Vet. I'm certainly glad John Pepperoni was there to call his lying ass out and teach him a lesson!
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Fellow
Vet, I am pretty sure that story is true. Like many people of Jason
Heyward's "persuasion," he has a tendency to constantly boast and
exaggerate his skills. The interview after World Series Game 7 is a
prime example, where he took complete credit for the victory despite
hitting barely over .100. I have no doubt that he would brag about his
farts even though he's really no match for John Pepperoni or even
teammate Anthony Rizzo!
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Eat shit Sophmore. Either post a hot queer story about Jason or post nothing.
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Can
anyone confirm that Jason recently got cocky saying he could rip a fart
louder then anyone else? Is it true after he left a really loud fart as
"proof" John Pepperoni appeared from behind a few lockers where he had
been jerking off and said " You call that a fart" then dropped his
pants, aimed his asshole at Heyward and ripped a fart that blew out the
eardrums of those around him and threw Jason nearly 10 yards into some
lockers? Jason sure learned not to exaggerate that time!
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I want to puke on Jason's butthole.
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If
Jason grew a giant poofy Afro that would be so hot! I could see him at
the plate with a batting helmet perched on top of his massive Afro!
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Heyward
and David Ross were two of the worst and least valuable players on the
Cubs last season, yet they seem to receive quite a bit of love for some
reason. Were Heyward and Ross gay lovers last season?
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I
think it would be so hot if Jason grew a poofy Afro and I took a shit
in it. Then I would piss in his mouth and we could rub cocks.
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I truly love when the players do something so erotic it whips all the male fans into a homo frenzy!
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Exactly,
I saw one game where BJ Upton put two fingers over his bell end so two
stream of piss came out of his japs eye, allowing him to work within a
'concentration zone' between the two spurts. It goes without saying that
it was also highly erotic and got the grown on the top tier of the
stadium going wild in a men on men frenzy
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Nice
call Soph. It would be nice if Jason could piss on the catcher or
umpire from the dugout. He really needs to get to work on that.
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Its a shame. What I would really like to see, is JH improving his pissing game.
Sure, he can spray bums from 2 metres away on a wall, but where is his in play dong spray management?
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Not
a surprise as he spent the off season earning money belching and
farting his way through a motivational tour as well as creating a grape
soda. He did nothing to improve his baseball game. I'm guessing by mid
season he will no longer play in the field at all and will be relegated
to belching and farting in the dugout.
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Heyward
is hitting a pathetic .143 so far during the 2017 spring training! He's
really lost it - he never deserved that absurd $184 million contract,
but his level of play since signing is historically awful. He had better
produce some potent motivational farts and belches this season since he
produces nothing of value at the plate!
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I
have heard of that pitching technique and feel that's the way of the
future. If pitchers could learn to fire the ball from their asshole it
would be like a cannon.
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To the poster below, I never knew that, but surely it could be a devastating weapon if utilized correctly?
I also heard that someone saw Brett Anderson perform a new pitch technique behind closed doors.
He rammed a few balls up his ass then farted them out with such force that he was getting strike after strike!
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