My "Remember When..." Queer Fantasies - Part III

Here are some of my "Remember When..." queer fantasies involving Diamond and the rest of the Saved By The Bell gang:

"Diamond Learns About Politics" episode recap
Posted: Oct 8 2008, 06:20 AM

Diamond, remember when Saved By The Bell: The New Class was canceled in the spring of 2000 and you decided to campaign for your beloved hero Al Gore? Remember how Al Gore was an extreme environmentalist and was trying to devise more efficient ways for fighting fires, as he thought that the use of fire hoses was a waste of water? Remember when he stayed up all night in his basement watching SBTB reruns, masturbating, and jotting downs notes? Remember when he emerged the next morning from his basement as though he were a mad scientist? Remember when he said that he would fight fires by spraying diarrhea, instead of water, directly on such fires to douse the flames? Remember when he convinced you that helping him perfect a diarrhea fire-fighting method would be environmentally safe and that it would be your patriotic duty to help him? Remember how you stayed with him all summer and he would perform experiments daily where he would light your jew-fro on fire and they spray diarrhea on you? Remember how his diarrhea sprays weren't very effective and often failed to douse the flames? Remember how you permanently damaged some of your hair follicles and had to grow your jew-fro long to hide the bald patches? Remember when he thanked you at the end of the summer and told you that he would thank you in one of the debates? Remember how Al Gore pulled a fast one on you and was never, in fact, testing an environmentally safe new diarrhea fire fighting method? Remember when you later found out that he was a pervert into scatplay and that his wife, Tipper, wasn't hip to the diarrhea scene? You sure learned about politics that time!



"Diamond Learns about Physics" episode recap
Posted: Oct 1 2008, 07:27 AM

Diamond, remember that time that Mr. Tuttle was jerking off extremely vigorously while Belding was ass-slamming you in the Teacher's Lounge at Bayside? Remember when a load flew into your eye from out of nowhere and you couldn't figure out where it came from, as Tuttle had not yet climaxed? Remember how he was moving his hand so rapidly that it looked like a blur? Remember how he was moving his hand faster than the speed of light and when he blew his load it exited his cock so quickly that it went back in time? Remember when you realized that Tuttle's load was what had landed in your eye minutes earlier? Remember when Belding finished ass-raping you and then you put on a diaper to absorb the cum and blood dripping from your gaping asshole? Remember when you headed over to the computer lab? Remember how Tuttle's semen had violated Einstein's Theory of Relativity and you typed up a paper to submit to the American Journal of Physics? Remember when you finished the paper and asked Belding to mail it? Remember when Belding revised your paper and replaced your name with his own to make it appear as though he was the author? Remember when Belding won the Nobel Prize for your paper? Remember hos mad that made you? Remember when Belding invited you over to his house because he said that he "wanted to share the Nobel Prize" with you? Remember when you showed up at his house and he punched you in the balls and then sodomized you with the Nobel Prize? Remember when he yelled out, "Hey Diamond, are you enjoying the Nobel Prize now, bitch!!!" You sure learned a lot about physics in that episode!



"Kevin Teaches Diamond About Oil Changes" recap
Posted: Sep 24 2008, 08:34 PM

Diamond, remember that episode where you decided to get a tan? Remember how you hoped that a bronze color would excite Mr. Belding, your experienced gay lover? Remember how on a hot summer day you laid out on a chair in your backyard? Remember how you were wearing a pink Speedo? Remember how you took off the pink Speedo because you didn't want to get any tan lines? Remember how you were lying naked? Remember how you tanned your tiny cock, in full view of the neighbors? Remember how you had told Kevin the Robot that you were going to change the oil in his gears that day? Remember how you forgot to change his oil while you were laying outside? Remember when Kevin the Robot rolled past a window in your room and saw you laying naked outside? Remember how mad that made Kevin that you had neglected his fresh oil needs? Remember when Kevin rolled down the stairs and then outside? Remember how you had fallen asleep while tanning on the chair? Remember when Kevin shot an oilly load onto your baby cock and then held a magnifying glass near it? Remember how the magnifying glass concentrated the hot rays of light from the sun, causing your zoinker to quickly become unbearably hot? Remember when the oil on your beanbag caught fire and smoke from your burning cock filled the air? Remember when you woke up and yelled, "Zoinks!!!" Remember when you tried to run over to the garden hose to spray water on your crotch? Remember when Kevin extended his robotic arm and clotheslined you, sending you sprawling onto the ground? Remember when Kevin grabbed your bony butt and inserted his robotic cock into your butthole? Remember when Kevin pounded away at your butthole for several minutes until blowing his oilly robotic load up your butt? Remember when Kevin rolled away and said, "BZZT!! Thanks for draining my oil, Diamond! BZZT!!" You sure learned about oil changes in that episode!



"Belding Makes Lunch for Diamond" episode recap
Posted: Sep 18 2008, 07:29 AM

Diamond, remember that time when you were in the Bayside library studying for your SAT exam? Remember when Mr. Belding walked in and gave you a tender hug and some encouragement? Remember when he asked you if you would like a "penis butter and jelly sandwich"? Remember how you thought he said "peanut butter and jelly" and you quickly agreed? Remember when Belding went into the Bayside kitchen and farted on a loaf of wheat bread and stuck his massive cock in a jar of jelly and then spread the jelly onto a piece of wheat bread? Remember when he opened a Bayside yearbook he had stolen from your locker and started jerking off to pictures of AC Slater in his wrestling singlet? Remember how Belding used the jelly as lubricant while tossing off? Remember when Belding climaxed and blew a huge load onto another piece of bread and then placed that piece on top of the piece with the jelly? Remember when Belding placed the sandwich on a plastic plate and brought it to the library? Remember when Belding handed the sandwich and you quickly gobbled it down? Remember when you said, "Zoinks, Mr. B, where was the peanut butter on that sandwich??" Remember when Belding replied, "Yeah." Remember when you dropped some crumbs onto the floor and Belding got mad and sent you to detention for littering? Remember when Belding and Mylo raped you in detention while Kelly and Jessie dyked out with each other while listening to your cries for help? The Bayside gang really got you good that time!



"Diamond Learns About Health Insurance" recap
Posted: Sep 15 2008, 07:53 PM

Diamond, remember that time you were getting your physical at Bayside during the beginning of your senior year? Remember when the doctor asked to stick out your tongue and say "aahhh"? Remember when you did this and the doctor was disgusted by your stank breath? Remember when the doctor said, "Damn! You have cum breath, you nasty hook nosed rim goblin!!!" Remember when the doctor failed you on your physical and wrote on your medical forms that you have "cum breath"? Remember when the doctor reported his findings to your mother's insurance company, causing her health insurance premiums to increase by 15%? Remember how mad that made your mom on the show? Remember when your mom invited Slater and Belding over to your house to teach you a lesson? Remember when they handcuffed you to your mom's bed and started ass fucking Mrs. Powers? Remember when they each pulled out of Mrs. Powers' ass and then blew their loads into your mouth, giving you and even worse case of cum breath? You sure learned about the importance of good health insurance in that episode!



"Belding Teaches Diamond About Respect" recap
Posted: Sep 10 2008, 05:42 AM

Diamond, do you remember that time you were in Belding's office eating lunch and he walked in and farted about a foot from your head? Remember when you yelled out, "Zoinks, Mr. B! That fart smells really bad!" Remember how mad that made Belding? Remember when Belding yelled, "Dammit Diamond, my farts are an expression of my love for you. How dare you insult me, you HOOK-NOSED RIM GOLBIN!!!" Remember when Belding decided to teach you a lesson and picked up his school intercom microphone and smacking you in the face with it? Remember when Belding accidentally turned the microphone on, braodcasting your cries of pain through the entire school? Remember when Belding yanked off your Zubaz and started violently shoved the microphone in and out of your ass? Remember when someone knocked on Belding's door and you thought that whomever was at the door would help you and end your suffering? Remember when when you quickly realized that no help was coming when Zack Morris opened the door and you saw that he was masturbating while listening to your screams of pain? Remember how you also saw Ox, Mr. Dewey, Slater, Rod Belding, Maxwell Nerdstrom, Coach Sonski, and Coach Rizzo in the hallway? Remember how they were all jerking off? Remember when you heard a honking sound coming from the hallway and heard what sounded like a car accelerating? Remember when you thought that the police were coming to rescue you? Remember how dismayed you were when you realized that the sound was from Mr. Tuttle, who was in the Driver's Ed golf cart? Remember how his pants were down around his ankles and he was masturbating vigorously? Remember how his 54-inch waist polyester pants got tangled around the accelerator and the golf cart was accelerating through the hallway? Remember when the golf cart careened into the doorway to Belding's office and got stuck, causing a loud noise? Remember when Tuttle was ejected from the golf cart and flew ten feet across Belding's office? Remember when Tuttle landed on Belding's trophy case and was impaled on Belding's "Principal of the Year" trophy? Remember how blood was gushing from the hole in his abdomen where he landed on the trophy? Remember how, despite being in severe pain and suffering massive blood loss, Tuttle kept jerking off vigorously? Remember how Tuttle moved his hand so fast up and down his cock that all that was visible was a big blur? Remember when Tuttle shot a massive load and then passed out and died? You really learned to show Belding some respect in that episode!



"Diamond Learns a Lesson at the Arcade" recap
Posted: Sep 5 2008, 08:57 AM

Diamond, do you remember when you finished filming the "Dance Contest" episode and then everyone went over to eat at the Chucky Cheese near the NBC studios lot? Remember how the actors from "Too Close For Comfort" were having a pizza party reunion to celebrate Ted Knight's birthday? Remember when you tried to cut in front of JM J Bullock at the Donkey Kong Jr. arcade machine, making him really mad? Remember when JM J Bullock grabbed you by the Jew-fro and threw you into the men's room and raped you? Remember when you caught his deadly strain of HIV? Remember how Ted Knight and Mr. Tuttle were having a swordfight in one of the bathroom stalls when you and JM J Bullock entered the bathroom and then stopped and started jerking off when they heard your screams for help? You sure learned to wait your turn at the arcade games that time!



"Belding Cooks Dinner for Diamond" recap
Posted: Sep 3 2008, 06:58 AM

Diamond, remember that time when Belding invited you over for a chicken dinner? Remember when he only cooked the chicken for five minutes and fed it to you? Remember how it was still pink and rubbery on the inside? Remember when you immediately got sick and caught salmonella and immediately started throwing up and going diarrhea in your Zubaz? Remember how hard Belding was laughing and he said that he intentionally undercooked the chicken in order to give you the potentially deadly disease commonly contained in uncooked chicken carcasses? Remember how Belding started raping you and you went diarrhea on his cock? Remember how mad that made Belding and he made you lick your diarrhea off his herpes-encrusted cock? Remember when Belding said, "Dammit Diamond! You got diarrhea all over my floor, you HOOK-NOSED RIM GOBLIN!!!" Remember when Belding turned you upside down and mopped up your diarrhea with your poofy jew-fro? Belding really gave you a lesson about cooking in that episode!



"Diamond's Cocktail" episode recap
Posted: Aug 22 2008, 06:50 PM

Diamond, do you remember that episode where you attended Zack's wedding to Kelly? Remember when you went up to the bar and Jessie Spano was ordering a cocktail? Remember how you started crying because you thought about the fact that the only cocktail you've ever had is the AIDS drug cocktail you have to take every day to fight off the onslaught of the HIV virus? Remember when Zack saw you crying and got mad at you for trying to ruin his wedding? Remember when Belding raped you and gave you a strain of super-AIDS in his tainted semen? You really got what you deserved that time!

My "Remember When..." Queer Fantasies - Part II

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My "Remember When..." Queer Fantasies - Part I

Here are some of my "Remember When..." queer fantasies involving Diamond and the rest of the Saved By The Bell gang:

"Diamond's holiday hand towels" recap
Posted: Jun 14 2008, 09:19 PM

Diamond, do you remember that episode where Mr. Belding snuck into your house to make passionate homosexual love to you at midnight during your senior year at Bayside? Remember how he did you in the ass several times and shot his loads up your brownpipe but refused to touch your tiny penis? Remember how you enjoyed being his bitch? Remember when he went into your bathroom to clean up? Remember how it was near the end of December and your mother had placed Hanukkah-themed towels in your bathroom? Remember how mad Belding got when he saw the Hanaukkah towels, because he hated jews? Remember when Belding grabbed the handtowel off the rack and put it in the toilet and flushed? Remember when it got stuck in the pipes and caused thousands of dollars of damage? Remmeber when you mom on the show, Mrs. Powers, assumed that you must have accidently knocked the handtowel into the toilet and blamed you for the damage? Remember when she made you work off the debt by tossing her salad and letting her do you in the ass when a strap-on dildo? Belding really taught you about religious tolerance that time!



"Diamond's Fetus Fear" recap
Posted: Jun 6 2008, 06:11 AM

Diamond, remember that time when you were a fetus growing in the womb of your mom on SBTB, Mrs. Powers? Remember how your dad on the show was a fag and liked to get it in the ass from Mr. Belding? Remember how Belding would pull out of your dad's ass and stick his massive shit-encrusted cock into Mrs. Powers' gaping used-up pussy? Remember how even though you were just a little fetus, you would see Belding's shit-covered cock rapidly moving in and out of Mrs. Powers and were afraid that Belding was trying to poke your eye out with his cock? Remember when you were a student at Bayside many years later and had a flashback and went to Belding's office to talk to him about it? Remember when Belding gave you a tender hug and held you tightly? Remember when you felt a massive bulge forming in Belding's pants? Remember how Belding wasn't wearing any underwear and his pre-cum was soaking through his 46-inch waist Sears polyesther pants? Remember when Belding pulled down his pants and said, "Hey Diamond, so you were afraid that I was going to poke your eye out with my cock when you were a fetus? Thank's for the idea, shithead!" Remember when Belding grabbed your jew-fro and slammed his cock against your right eyeball? Remember how Belding did this was such force that your right eye popped out of its socket and onto the ground? Remember when Belding started fucking your eye socket and and said, "Diamond, let me stop that annoying bleeding!" and then shot his load into your eye socket? Remember when his semen quickly crusted over? Remember when Slater saw your eyeball on the ground and kicked it out into the hallway? Remember when Maxwell Nerdstrom picked up your eyeball and played marbles with it against the other nerds? The Bayside gang got you good that time!



"Diamond Plays Foosball" recap
Posted: Jun 4 2008, 05:40 AM

Diamond, do you remember that time when you went over to Belding's house to play foosball? Remember how you thought that you were a great foosball player? Remember how Belding scored the first goal and you yelled "Zoinks!" really loudly and started to piss off Belding? Remember how you kept spinning your rows of foosball men, in violation of foosball rules? Remember when you scored a goal after spinning and told Belding that he sucked at foosball and that you were the greatest player at Bayside High School? Remember when Belding got really mad and said he wanted to play "Faggot Foosball" with you? Remember how you agreed to play, even though you didn't know what it was? Remember when Belding said "Let the games begin!" and then tipped the foosball table over onto you, knocking you down? Remember when Belding ripped out one of the bars on which your foosball men were located and then smacked you in the face with it, drawing blood? Remember when he started sodomizing you with the bar and said, "Hey Diamond, who's the motherfucker now, bitch!! The Big Bopper kicks ass at Faggot Foosball!" Remember when blood was gushing out of your anus and Belding sat on your face and dropped ass and shit on top of your nose? Remember when you looked over and noticed that Belding's pool cue rack was shaking and saw that Mr. Tuttle was hiding behind it while rapidly masturbating? Remember how Tuttle shot a load down your throat and then Belding and Tuttle dropped you off at the curb with the rest of the trash? Remember when you had to wear a diaper for the next 3 months while your torn butthole recovered from this violent attack? Belding really got you good that time!



"Diamond Learns About Electricity" recap
Posted: Jun 2 2008, 06:44 AM

Diamond, do you remember that episode where Belding purchase a 10,000 Volt stun gun and shocked you in the zoinker with it several times? Remember one of your tiny balls was burnt so badly with a shock that it fell off your nutsack and onto the ground? Remember when Belding gave you a detention for "littering" and ass-raped you in the detention hall? You sure learned about electricity that time!



"Belding's Gift to Diamond" episode recap
Posted: May 29 2008, 06:12 AM

Diamond, do you remember that episode where Mr. Belding took you to Magic Mountain to show his appreciation for being his assistant? Remember how it was a 100 degree summer day and you two were out in the sun all day? Remember how Belding refused to go on any water rides and was sweaty profusely the entire day as you two waited in long roller coaster lines all day? Remember how Belding's air conditioner was broken and his windows wouldn't roll down in his rusty 1978 Ford Pinto? Remember when you two stopped at a Taco Bell on the way home and Belding ate a few greasy burritoes? Remember how Belding ripped numerous farts on the drive home as you both sweated profusely? Remember how Belding said you should thank him for farting because it helped cool down the interior of the car? Remember how Belding drove you straight to his house and you said "Zoinks, Mr. B! You missed my turn!" Remember how Belding said he had some ice cream for you at his place? Remember when you said that would be nice and he drove you up to his place? Remember when you both walked inside and Belding requested that you provide him with sexual favors because he was horny? Remember when Belding took off his 50-inch waist polyester shorts and underwear? Remember how sweaty and smelly his ass was? Remember when you asked Belding to take a shower first? Remember when Belding got mad and said, "Diamond, quit whining you JEW BASTARD and start tossing my salad, you stupid COCKSUCKER!" Remember when Belding grabbed you by the Jew-fro and shoved your face in his taint and you starting licking his butthole and his nutsack? Remember how sweaty he was? Remember how his groin was super-salty and you started to feel sick? Remember when you went into cardiac arrest and suffered blood poisoning from all of the salt on his taint? Remeber when you started to lose consciousness and begged Belding to call a paramedic? Remember when Belding instead decided to stick his cock up your ass and anally pound you for several minutes while you were passed out? Remember when Belding eventually called an ambulance after having sex with you another time and ordering a pizza from Dominos? Remember how you needed to get a liver transplant because Belding's salty taint juice had permanently damaged your liver? Belding really got you good that time!



"Diamond Contracts Bird Flu" recap
Posted: May 22 2008, 06:59 AM

Diamond, do you remember the episode where you fondled Becky the Duck because none of the girls at Bayside would let you fondle them? Remember when Becky the Ducky bit you and you contracted bird flu and went into a coma? Remember when you almost died and woke up a week later in a hospital while Slater and Belding were giving you a golden shower and Mr. Tuttle masurbated while hiding behind a curtain separating your bed from the other bed in your hospital room? The animal kingdom sure got you good that time!



"Diamond Goes to Disneyland" recap
Posted: May 22 2008, 03:59 AM

Hey Diamond, remember that time where Belding took you to Disneyland with some tickets he stole out of Maxwell Nerdstrom's locker? Remember when you and Belding made out on that crappy "Haunted Mansion" ride? Remember when he put his thumb up your ass while you two were on the "Its a Small World" boat ride and then made you lick his thumb clean? Remember when you two rode the teacups ride together and you tried to spin the teacup to make it go really fast? Remember when Belding got mad because you made the teacup spin too fast? Remember when Belding pulled down his pants and took an enormous shit in your teacup, filling it to the top, and then lept into a nearby teacup that was empty? Remmeber when the ride stopped and the door on your teacup opened and you couldn't get out because Belding's feces had started to harden? Remember when Goofy and Mickey Mouse were walking by and got really mad and accused you of taking a shit in the teacup? Remember when Goofy and Mickey Mouse began kicking you in the junk and ribs while Pluto began having anal sex with you, tearing up your ass? Remember when the Dinsey CEO at the time, Michael Eisner, banned you for life for causing a disturbance and "Jewing up" the park? Remember how odd that seemed because Eisner himself was a jew? You really had a shitty experience at Disneyland that time!



"The Coke Machine" recap
Posted: May 7 2008, 07:03 AM

Diamond, remember that episode where Belding purchased a new Coca-Cola vending machine for the Bayside cafeteria? Remember how it was a vintage Coke machine that vended Coke in 16-oz glass bottles? Remember how you were Belding's assistant at the time and he asked you if you wanted to go grab a Coke with him? Remember when you two walked to the cafeteria together? Remember when Mr. Belding pinched your butt as you walked through the hall and you blushed because you had a huge crush on Belding? Remember when Belding asked you for 35 cents for the machine to purchase a Coke? Remember how you were still blushing and quickly handed over the change to Belding? Remember when Belding purchased a Coke and then said, "Hey Diamond, I need a can opener to get off the cap!" and then pulled down your Zubaz sweatpants and used your asshole to pop off the cap, tearing it horribly in the process and causing anal bleeding? Remember when Belding got mad because you were bleeding on the floor and smashed the glass Coke bottle over your head and then viciously sodomized you with the bottle while laughing his ass off? Remember when Milo the janitor emerged from behind a table and walked over and robbed you? Remember when Belding walked back to his office and Milo left to mop the gym floor, leaving you laying in a pool of your own blood on the floor? Remember when the front door of the Coke machine swung open and Mr. Tuttle fell out? Remember how Mr. Tuttle was completely naked and had jizzed all over the Coke bottles in the machine? Diamond, you sure learned about the dangers of drinking too much soda in that episode!!!!!!



"Diamond Takes a Shower" recap
Posted: Apr 25 2008, 06:40 AM

Diamond, do you remember that episode where there was a water shortage and nobody could shower after gym class? Remember when you complained because you got sweaty playing basketball and had b.o. and therefore needed a shower to clean up? Remember when Coach Sonski got really mad at you because you were being annoying and eventually agreed to let you have a shower? Remember when you got naked and walked into the shower room and saw that everyone else from class was naked and also standing in the shower room? Remember how Mr. Belding was also standing naked in the shower room for some unknown reason even though he had nothing to do with your gym class? Remember when Coach Sonski told everyone to give you a shower and then every pissed on you and then jerked off and blew their loads all over you? You sure became an expert on golden showers and cum showers in that episode!



"Rectal Bleeding" episode recap
Posted: Apr 24 2008, 07:27 PM

Diamond, do you remember that episode where you were being viciously raped in the shower of the Bayside boy's locker room after gym class? Remember how AC Slater, Ox, Mr. Belding, Milo and janitor, and Coach Rizzo all took turns tagging your ass? Remember when Belding pulled his cock out of your ass and shoved it into your mouth and said "yeah, take that load, Diamond!" as he shot his cum down your throat? Remember when the producer yelled "cut" and the scene had to be reshot because Belding had accidently called you "Diamond" instead of "Screech"? You sure experienced rectal bleeding in that episode!



Remember when...
Posted: October 22, 2006 10:04 PM

Diamond, remember when you were born with a jew-fro and grotesquely large gonzo nose? Remember how you're so ugly that the best girl you can get is obese and addicted to Arby's Beef 'n Cheddars? God really got you good that time!

"Remember When" Gay Carrot Top Fantasies

There is a fantastic forum for gay fans of comedian Carrot Top. This forum was created and is administered by an Australian man who goes by the name "Clunt." Clunt claims to be disabled and addicted to pain killers and that his primary source of income is advertising revenue from his Carrot Top forum. Here are some great gay fantasies I wrote about Clunt:

"Clunt Ends Up in a Wheelchair" recap
« Thread Started on Jun 3, 2008, 12:09pm »

Clunt, remember when you used to have full use of your legs? Remember how you were a great runner in high school? Remember when you won the 400-meter dash at the Koala Championship high school meet during your senior year of high school? Remember when you won with a time of 46.53 seconds? Remember when you were offered a track and field scholarship to the University of Sydney? Remember when you walked into your principal’s office at Wallaby High School to tell Principal Goldberg about the scholarship? Remember how Principal Goldberg was gay and you interrupted him while he was jerking off to surveillance photos he had taken of a recent high school wrestling match? Remember how mad Principal Goldberg was at you for interrupting his jerk-off session? Remember when you said, “Zoinks! What’s going on? I wanted to tell you that I won a scholarship to the University of Sydney!” Remember when Principal Goldberg stood up and said “That’s great, mate!” Remember how Principal Goldberg’s pants were off and he kept masturbating and shot a huge load into your eyes, temporarily blinding you? Remember when Principal Goldberg kicked you in the junk and you fell over? Remember when a couple aborigines emerged from under Principal Goldberg’s desk, where they had apparently been hiding while licking the principal’s nuts when you walked into the office? Remember when the aborigines started stomping on your legs and then smashed you kneecaps with cricket bats? Remember when you screamed in pain and Principal Goldberg shoved his cock in your mouth to shut you up? Remember when Principal Goldberg’s pet koala bear climbed out of its cage and started clawing at your face with its sharp claws, drawing blood? Remember when the aborigines took turns doing you up the ass and then continued to stomp on your legs until the bones in your legs had snapped in numerous locations? Remember when Principal Goldberg shut his man milk down your throat and then threw you out of his office and down the stairs? Remember how you lost all use of your legs and the scholarship offer to the University of Sydney was withdrawn? Remember how you have been in a wheelchair every since and are now addicted to painkillers? You sure got screwed over that time!

"Clunt has a bad day" recap
« Thread Started on May 25, 2008, 7:03am »

Hey Clunt, remember that time when someone knocked on your trailer door and you rolled over in your wheelchair to see who it was? Remember when you looked through the peep hole in your door and saw a person at the door that looked like Carrot Top? Remember when you opened the door because you assumed that your favorite comedian had come to congratulate you on the success of the Carrot Top Forum? Remember when you opened the door and realized that the person at the door was not Carrot Top, but instead was OhioFaggot wearing a Carrot Top mask? Remember when OhioFaggot rushed into your trailer, followed by Rocco, Assfister, Fagbusters, Gay4Screech, Starships1, James Amos, Miguel (the Mexican dishwasher that used to work with James Amos), and me? Remember when James Amos said, “Hey bitch, I’m sick of Internet dating. I’m backed up bitch, and now James Amos is gonna get his!” Remember when Miguel tipped over your wheelchair and you fell out onto the floor? Remember when Miguel tore off your sweatpants and started having unprotected buttsex with you? Remember when James Amos started violently teabagging you? Remember when Assfister pulled down his Zubaz pants and sprayed your chest with a nice thick coat of diarrhea?

Remember when Fagbusters said, “Homosexuality is the tool of the devil!” and then dropped his pants and pissed on your chest, writing his name on the diarrhea shit canvas on your chest? Remember when James Amos was tossing off while teabagging you and then stood up and shot his cum on your chest while he said, “Yeah! Take that load, bitch!” Remember when Rocco and I started whipping you in the nuts with car antennas that we ripped off of the rusty abandoned cars we encountered in your trailer park? Remember how much that turned you on as your hairless beanbag started to turn black and blue? Remember when Miguel blew a load up your ass and called you a “faggot!” Remember when Gay4Screech sat on your face and made you toss his salad and then shit into your mouth? Remember when Rocco and I picked you up and started spit-roasting you? Remember how we both blew massive loads and cum was dripping out of your mouth and ass at this point?

Remember when OhioFaggot and Starships said that you were a “Dirty Aussie” and then pissed on you to clean you up a bit? Remember how the humiliation of this violent attack turned you on and made you pop a boner? Remember when Miguel whipped your hard baby cock with a car antenna, causing you to simultaneously cry and blow your load? Remember when you rolled over as everyone got up to leave and saw the real Carrot Top, i.e., Scott Thompson, standing on the roof of the trailer next door? Remember how Carrot Top was jerking off? Remember when you also saw washed up prop comic Gallagher having sex with a little hole in a watermelon? Remember when Carrot Top shot his load and Gallagher caught it on the tip of his tongue for two points? The Carrot Top Forum gang really got you good that time!

Pearl Gray's visit to a Carrot Top show
« Thread Started on Apr 19, 2008, 4:59am »

Remember that time when Pearl Gray went to see a Carrot Top show in Las Vegas? Remember how turned on Pearl Gray felt as he saw Carrot Top's hilarious props, including those props he literally pulled out of his ass at the end of the show? Remember how Pearl Gray waited to see Carrot Top in the alley behind the Las Vegas strip McDonald's after the show? Remember how he waited in line behind two dirty and diseased bums who apparently lived in the dumpster in the alley? Remember how the bums were really horny and wanted to have gay sex with Carrot Top? Remember how Pearl Gray dropped his pants and started jerking it when someone who looked like Carrot Top showed up and let the bums do him up the ass? Remember how Pearl Gray was so focused on the bums making passionate homosexual love to the guy who kind of looked like Carrot Top, that he didn't notice the two rabid dogs that were charging down the alley toward him? Remember how the dogs were Bananas and Marlon, Boni's rabid rottweiller dogs? Remember how Bananas and Marlon were also gay and sexually repressed? Remmeber how they pounced on Pearl Gray and started spitroasting him? Remember how Bananas kept scratching Pearl Gray's bird chest while Pearl Gray sucked off Bananas? Remember when Boni took a dump on Pearl Gray's stomach and then kicked him in the junk? Remember when Boni, Bananas, Marlon, and the two bums all got up and left, leaving Pearl Gray sitting in a puddle of blood and semen? Pearl Gray sure learned about Carrot Top's comedy act that time!

Diamond's Halloween Costume

I found this nice gay costume that would be perfect for Diamond! He's a bit chubbier than the fruit in this photo, but I still think Diamond would ooze homosexuality if he paraded around north Hollywood in this outfit - the homeless men in the area would go crazy if they saw Diamond dressed like this!

Old posts from DustinDiamond.com (part 27)

23rd March 2008 - 05:25:01 PM

87451 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, you look really pathetic on CFC: Boot Camp! I'm starting to think that your antics on SBTB were based on things you did in real life. You probably did wear Zubaz as a kid, didn't you? Remember that time you were supposed to wait in line at the mall for the U2 tickets and you screwed that up? I'll bet you did something like that in real life, you idiot!

21st March 2008 - 10:53:36 AM

87395 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, why did you plan 9/11?

16th March 2008 - 01:41:20 PM

87322 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, why do you get so turned on when Mr. Belding uses your lips as a toilet seat and your jew-fro as toilet paper?

04th March 2008 - 08:21:03 PM

87149 : Kurt Steinberg

18th December 2007 - 12:13:50 AM 85956 : Princess Peussie Hello turds, it is Princess Peussie. I was assraped yesterday at the opera house and loved every second of it. A young Puerto Rican stopped up the toilet and then used a toilet plunger to unclog it. That man then sodomized my ass with the toilet plunger and made me lick his shit off of the other end! For a Zubaz-wearing cocksucker like me it was quite enjoyable. I think about Dustin all of the time when other men use me as their cum dumpster. I just love being forecefully made to suck cock. I have several incurable STDs that were contracted during unprotected anal sex. Man, I love swallowing nut juice. I like the gloryhole in the rest stop off Highway 5 - I often listen to random opera songs while sucking the pants off of any guy who walks into the stall! The other day my dad and brother walked in and dumped huge loads down my throat! I sure am a piece of shit!

04th March 2008 - 07:55:06 PM

87148 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, I demand that you delete the spam from your guesbtook immediately!!!!!!

26th February 2008 - 11:45:33 AM

87030 : Kurt Steinberg

Princess Peussie, you operal-listening faggot, what do you think about this thoughtful poem I wrote for you? Princess Peussie, your asshole is stretched and loose, And from it drips HIV juice; You are flaming gay, And into your mouth I will unleash a massive diarrhea spray; You enjoy using hypodermic needles that wash up on a New Jersey beach, And going to a dumpster parties dressed up as Screech; You contracted herpes from some random dude, And everyday gobble down feces as your food; Everybody hates your spamming and wonders when you will die, And as you are reading this you are wiping jizz out of your eye; You fantasize about rolling around in A.C. Slater's poo, And hope that when you go to prison for child molestation, you will bunk with a gay stud who will rape you!

20th February 2008 - 12:42:24 PM

86968 : Kurt Steinberg

Peussie, I am going to hid in the bathroom at the next opera recital you visit in Philadelphia. When you enter the bathroom to take a piss, a fist will come flying out of nowhere, connecting with your nose! Your head will be be smashed into the urinal and my boot will end up in your ass. All of the other queers attending the opera will be invited to take a piss on you and shit in your mouth. You must be so turned on right now, you sick fuck!

14th February 2008 - 01:41:14 PM

86891 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, do you remember that time when you had to do sit-ups, pull-ups, and run the mile for the Presidential Fitness contest when you were a student at Bayside? Remember when you could only do 7 sit-ups in 60 seconds and were too weak to complete even a single pull-up? Remember when you ran the mile as fast as you could, and finished in a slow 10:15? Is it true that your pathetic performances placed you in the lowest 1% of all students in the country? Remember how Corky, a retarded kid at your school, beat you in every event? Is it true that everyone was making fun of your pathetic performances and you said "Zoinks!@!!" Is it true that the retard got annoyed and mad at you and pulled out a grenade that he had stolen from the Army surplus store and threw it at you? Is it true that you narrowing avoided death by running around the corner int he hallway just before the grenade exploded? Is it true that Corky chased you over to the nearby McDonald's while throwing rocks at you? Is it true that you hid in the McDonald's and hoped that Corky would forget why he was mad at you and go home? Is it true that after ten minutes, you couldn't see Corky outside and thought that you were safe? Is it true that unbeknowst to you, Corky had climbed to the top of the nearby water tower with a sniper rifle? Is it true that when you walked out of the McDonald's, you were struck in the kneecap with a bullet from Corky's rifle? Is it true that Corky fired several more shots at you in an effort to kill you? Is it true that he missed and then climbed down to the ground and lit some homemade pipebombs and threw them at you? Is it true that Corky's throws were way off the mark and totally missed you and instead landed in Mr. Dewey's convertable? Is it true that they exploded and destroyed Mr. Dewey's collection of gay porn and dildoes that was in the back seat? Is it true that Mr. Dewey came out of the McDonald's after finishing a Big Mac and blamed you for damaging his car? Is it true that Mr. Dewey got even with you by driving over your head with his convertable? You really learned a good lesson about physical fitness in that great episode.

12th February 2008 - 06:52:33 PM

86872 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, remember when you were born and the doctor who delivered you started laughing hysterically because your cock was so small? Remember when the head nurse prophesized that you would never get laid with a woman? Remember when that prophecy became reality, and you never have beed laid? Life really screwed you over that time!

12th February 2008 - 03:12:36 PM

86865 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, did you watch Prison Break yesterday? Did it turn you on when the prison guards were beating the shit out of Bellick, who was wearing Zubaz pants and kept getting knocked to the ground? Is it true that you were jerking off while fantasizing that you were the one being beaten by the guards? Is it also true that you imagined that the guards where AC Slater, Zack Morris, and Mr. Belding? You sure are a sick fuck!

12th February 2008 - 12:38:05 AM

86854 : Kurt Steinberg

Peussie, you fucking faggot, here is my own poem to you: Princess Peussie, your asshole is stretched and loose, And from it drips HIV juice; You are flaming gay, And into your mouth I will unleash a massive diarrhea spray; You enjoy using hypodermic needles that wash up on a New Jersey beach, And going to a dumpster parties dressed up as Screech; You contracted herpes from some random dude, And everyday gobble down feces as your food; Everybody hates your spamming and wonders when you will die, And as you are reading this you are wiping jizz out of your eye; You fantasize about rolling around in A.C. Slater's poo, And hope that when you go to prison for child molestation, you will bunk with a gay stud will rape you!

09th February 2008 - 12:50:06 PM

86807 : Kurt Steinberg

Princess Peussie, my asshole would only be sore if I took a massive messy shit in your mouth and then wiped my ass clean with your polyesther shirt. After many wipes, your cheap shirt would start to irritate my asshole. I would then roll your chunky ass over and do you up the brownpipe. After blowing my load, I would lodge your queer opera tapes and CDs up your ass and then start stomping on your tiny hairless balls with golf cleats. Let's hook up!

07th February 2008 - 07:06:13 PM

86781 : Kurt Steinberg

moi, I disagree with your nonsensical "explanation" of minimum wages. Employers pass on the costs to consumers and the consumers, in turn, have less disposable income to spend on other goods. It's really a moot point anyway, seeing how this is a QUEERS-only guestbook for the raging homosexual fans of Dustin Diamond. Now meet at the Exxon gas station in West Los Angeles over near the intersection of Santa Monica Blvd. and Veteran Avenue and I will fire my seed down your throat and take a Taco Bell shit on your face! Let's get together soon, buddy!

04th February 2008 - 05:49:48 PM

86733 : Kurt Steinberg

Get the fuck out of here, you spamming piece of shit! Peussie, I hope someone tracks down your HIV+ cocksucking opera-listening faggot ass and pours molten lead down your asshole. It will painfully burn your ass and by the time it cools off, it will seal you up for good! Seriously, why the fuck do you even post here? Your middle-aged ass didn't really watch Saved By The Bell, did you? If so, you're probably a pedophile! Only a complete faggot would admit to voluntarily listening to opera music, so I guess it isn't that much of a stretch to consider you a pedophile. If you killed yourself, nobody would even give a shit, as you are hated!!!!!

03rd February 2008 - 09:02:13 PM

86716 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, I heard a rumor that you wagered the proceeds from your t-shirt scam on the Patriots to win the Super Bowl. Guess what, shithead? The Patriots, the most dishonest cheating team of faggots in the history of the NFL, just lost the game. You sure are one unlucky son-of-a-bitch, aren't you?

31st January 2008 - 09:55:33 PM

86683 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, do you remember that time when the entire Bayside gang was over at your house celebrating your birthday? Remember when Mr. Belding said, "I need need to go take a dump. Ha ha ha!" and then walked into your bedroom? Didn't that seem a bit strange, seeing as how there was no bathroom in your bedroom? Remember when Belding took a shit on your bed and wiped his ass clean with your pillow cases and Zubaz G-string underwear? Remember when Mr. Belding blamed the smelly mess on Hound Dog and your mom grounded you for a week for not cleaning up after your dog? Mr. Belding's feces really got you in trouble that time!

31st January 2008 - 12:10:57 PM

86674 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, please confirm that during one of the times that Belding forced you to suck him off, he noticed that you had split-ends in your jew-fro while your head was buried between his chunky thighs. Is it true that Belding told you that if you soaked your 'fro in a bowl of his diarrhea, that would heal your hair? Is it true that Belding pulled a fast one on you, and your jew-fro was even more brittle and damaged after the diarrhea socking? Belding got you good that time!

29th January 2008 - 01:01:30 AM

86652 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, does it turn you on when you think about all of the HIV+ queers who want to take a watery shit in your mouth?

22nd January 2008 - 04:50:35 PM

86550 : Kurt Steinberg

Hey assfuck, I've already lost thosands of dollars due to the stock market's decline since the start of the year. Apparently foreign investors believed you when you said that you were an icon in the American entertainment industry. Those guys decided that if you were the best America could offer, then America's days at the top of the food chain were over. Thanks a lot, fucknut! You deserve a warm watery diarrhea spray for the financial havoc you have caused!

15th January 2008 - 12:15:59 AM

86436 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, what the fuck is wrong with you? Delete the spam that is filling up your guestbook!

14th January 2008 - 08:29:31 PM

86429 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, I heard that you mentioned on the Mancow show that you were never destitute and were never going to lose your house. You're an absolute piece of shit, aren't you? Only a total fucking dickhead would rip off little kids like you did. No wonder so many queers fantasize about you being sodomized by Mr. Belding!

10th January 2008 - 01:43:42 PM

86383 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, is it true that you used to get raped by Mr. Belding, Milo the janitor, and your classmate Mikey when you were on Good Morning Miss Bliss? Is it true that you went into Miss Bliss' office to tell her what happened to you over by the swingsets during recess? Is it true that you were crying and she hugged you and then started undressing? Is it also true that she started taking off her skirt and panties and you thought you were going to experience the caress of a woman for the first time? It is true that you were mortally shocked when you saw a massive 13-inch cock hanging from her crotch and she said that she was actually a man and was in the middle of getting a sex change? Is it also true that she viscously raped you minutes later outside in the playground over by the basketball hoop?

07th January 2008 - 12:49:02 PM

86306 : Kurt Steinberg

Princess Peussie, I am sick of your bullshit. Get the fuck out of here, you spamming Zubaz-wearing cocksucker! Take you pro-Obama crap with you, fucknut! And by the way, Rudy Giuliani would make the best president of all the candidates, and McCain would be the second best. Barack Obama is completely incompetent and has really done nothing with his political career other than give speeches. Obama has already missed a ton of votes in the Senate because he's been out campaigning. You'd be better off voting for Hillary Clinton if you're voting Democratic.

02nd January 2008 - 10:48:45 PM

86254 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, you need to use your tremendous influence over Hollywood to convince the greedy writers who are on strike to go back to work so that the next season of 24 is shown this year. While you are at it, tell the writers of 24 to make sure that this season doesn't totally suck, as they failed miserably last year.

02nd January 2008 - 12:40:06 PM

86244 : Kurt Steinberg

Dustin: May I get an autographed photo of you for collection of hot spank material? If you say yes I can send a self-addressed and stamped envelope. Like many others my gay lovers and I still enjoy jerking it to your famous work! Kurt Steinberg, Key West FL

31st December 2007 - 07:24:54 PM

86225 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, I just ate some tacos in preparation for a New Year's Eve blast tonight! At the stroke of midnight I am going to suddenly drop trou and blast a nice diarrhea spray right in the face of either you or some other random dudes! If you are in the alley behind the Key West bowling alley on 5th and Western, you'll experience quite a treat. You must be so turned on right now while reading this. Afterward, I will kick you in the zoinker and blow my load up your zoink-hole!!! Let's have sex! You'll utter a tremendous "Zoinks!" when I am done!!!

28th December 2007 - 02:04:39 PM

86157 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, I heard that you are going to re-appear on the next season of Celebrity Fit Club. What's the deal with that? Are you going to co-star in Celebrity Fit Club reality shows for the rest of your life? Do you get lonely when you're on those shows? Maybe you should invite Messrs. Belding and Tuttle with you to keep you warm on a cold winter's night. Does Belding's cock heat you up when inserted 12 inches into your rectum? Does Tuttle's massive load feel good when you spit it out of your mouth and rub it on your face? Please get back to me soon, buddy!

28th December 2007 - 12:22:40 AM

86149 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, did you plan the assasination of the Pakistani woman on Thursday, just like you planned the 9/11 with your muslim brothers?

27th December 2007 - 12:26:52 AM

86132 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, it is time for you to come clean and admit that your birth name is Max Goldberg and that the whole Dustin Diamond vs. Max Goldberg UDRP proceeding was nothing more than a publicity sham to create buzz for your porn tape! While you're at it, I demand that you delete the spam that has been posted here. Your queer fans supported you during your days on Saved By The Bell, losing many loads while jerking it to your homosexual antics on the show. Just think about how many TVs short-circuited when when your gays fans fired thir semen with such force that it flew several feet up in the air and landed in the holes in the back of their TVs. Now delete the spam!

21st December 2007 - 01:57:04 PM

86057 : Kurt Steinberg

Rocco, that was a good episode. As I recall, Screech tried to make fun of Marv Albert's very obvious hair weave, sending Albert into a homosexual rage! Everyone else then joined in the fun. I like the episodes where they leave Screech is a puddle of blood, semen, and feces and then go over for a hearty meal at the local Denny's Chili's, or Olive Garden. I had a good laugh and popped a tent the other day when I saw the episode where Screech and the gang went to Scotland on a field trip. Screech and the gang went out on a boat at Loch NEss in search of the infamous Loch Ness monster. When they reached the middle of the middle of the loch, Nessie rose up out of the water and made a bellowing sound. Screech yelled out "Zoinks!" over and over again and threw some of Mr. Belding's Twinkie wrappers at the beast in an effort to scare it away. Nessie got really mad at Screech and decided to teach him a lesson. Nessie grabbed Screech in its mouth and floated over to the water's edge and dumped out Screech on the sand. Nessie then exposed its monster beast cock and violently assraped Screech while the rest of the gang jerked off 100 years away in the boat and snapped some pictures. Mr. Tuttle won a Pulitzer Prize for his candid photo of the attack! An enlarged version of Tuttle's photo now hangs on the walls of Bayside as a tribute to that great moment in Bayside history.

21st December 2007 - 12:14:57 AM

86046 : Kurt Steinberg

Georgie Ramfuck and mother, que tanto precisam de algum HIV suco. Vou dar - vos um bom diarréia pulverizador, puta! [English translation: Georgie Ramfuck and mother, you both need some HIV juice. I will give you a nice diarrhea spray, bitch!]

20th December 2007 - 11:38:37 PM

86044 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, when being whipped in the nuts with a car antenna, where do you prefer the end of the antenna to strike your nuts? Do you like it better when you are hit squarely in the left nut, in the right nut, or between the nuts? Please get back to me soon, buddy!

20th December 2007 - 06:03:56 PM

86036 : Kurt Steinberg

Georgie Ramfuck, va' se foder, seu filho da puta! Chupa meu pau, corno!

20th December 2007 - 02:44:28 PM

86032 : Kurt Steinberg

Rocco, remember that episode where Screech and the gang went skiing on a mountain? I was laughing my ass off when the Abominable Snowman got really mad at Screech for skking on his mountain while yelling "zoinks!" over and over again. The Abominable Snowman viscously raped Screech and taught him a valuable lesson about being so annoying.

20th December 2007 - 12:45:32 PM

86029 : Kurt Steinberg

Rocco, remember that episode where the Easter Bunny dropped a deuce onto Screech's face? As I recall, he told Screech he was going to give him an egg, but he tricked Screech. I guess that the Easter Bunny was getting back at Screech because the Jew's crucified Jesus.

19th December 2007 - 06:14:20 PM

86007 : Kurt Steinberg

Max Goldberg, please let Rocco moderate the guestbook to delete the moronic spam left here by Princess Peussie and his gimpy friends!

16th December 2007 - 06:25:13 PM

85935 : Kurt Steinberg

Peussie, why are you such an unbelievably flaming faggot? Seriously, only a complete HIV+ queer would volunteerily listen to opera music. Also, you aren't even a fan of Saved By The Bell, so why do you even post your stupid shit here? Nobody has ever masturbated or even laughed while reading any of your posts.

13th December 2007 - 02:15:14 PM

85892 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, former senator George Mitchell just released his report on steroid use in baseball. Some former players claim to have taken steroids and HGH to recover from injuries. This, of course, begs the question - did you ever take anyt steroids or HGH to heal after anal injuries caused by Belding, Milo, and Zack's dad?

12th December 2007 - 12:37:10 AM

85854 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, when you were showering in the Bayside locker room, did you ever feel self-couscious because everyone else had an enormous cock except for you, whom everyone used to make fun of for having a tiny dick the size of a Tic-Tac? Did it upset you, or did it make you horny when you would look at Slater's 12-inch cock or Belding's 14-inch cock? What about when Tuttle would appear out of nowhere and would masturbate with his 11-inch cock and then blow a massive load on you? Did you think it was odd that the size of Tuttle's typical load was about equal to the size of several years' worth of your loads?

11th December 2007 - 10:31:04 AM

85843 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, do you remember that episode where you saw Zack eating a spearmint Tic-Tac and became aroused because the Tic-Tac was the same size as your tiny cock when erect? Remember when you said an off-color joke to Zack that your cock had a better taste than the spearmint Tic-Tac? Remember when Zack called you a stupid cocksucker and then beat and sodomized you with a yardstick? Please confirm that this happened and the details are accurate.

07th December 2007 - 03:33:28 PM

85781 : Kurt Steinberg

Jo (message 85780), I am going to track you down and squirt my load into your eye and then take a smelly shit in your mouth. Sound like fun?