Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Old posts from DustinDiamond.com (part 18)

05th December 2006 - 11:36:27 PM
79208 : Kurt Steinberg
Dner, I hear you. Some people just don't understand the queer lifestyle and how piss, shit, and HIV+ semen is an intergral part of our lives. I've also participated in piss and shit parties over the years. However, you should consider purchasing a spa. Spas are great because you can dose off in them while piss, shit, and semen is floating around in the water with you! Diamond apparently agrees:
http://www.dustindiamondfoundation.com/dustinjennhottub.jpg

05th December 2006 - 06:04:10 PM
79204 : Kurt Steinberg
Dner, drop a deuce on one of those dudes for me. It kind of reminds me of when I was in college and had a roommate. My roommate and I were having a fued - he was being a little bitch and kept complaining because I wanted to watch gay porn all day and fire my loads on the floor. (He slipped on one during the spring semester and was so pissed at me!)

Anyway, I slept on the top bunk and he slept on the bottom bunk. During the last day of the spring sememster I had already moved out all of my stuff to my car to drive home and then I suck back into the room where my roommate was taking a nap after his last final exam. I had just eatne Taco Bell and quietly dropped my pants and then positioned my butthole right above my roommate's head and unleashed a diarrhea tsunami of epic queer proportions! I quickly ran out of the room as my roommate was quite pissed when he woke up and discovered chunks of shit in his eyes. He transferred to a different college for the next semester and I never saw him again. :(

05th December 2006 - 05:20:51 PM
79201 : Kurt Steinberg
Dner, you must prod Fagbusters to acquire Internet access. I think that most of the queers who post here miss his condemnations of our dangerous homosexual lifestyles.

05th December 2006 - 04:21:38 PM
79200 : Kurt Steinberg
What does 1337 mean? Is that some kind of nerd code? Please refrain from using terminology that most of Diamond's queer fans don't understand.

05th December 2006 - 09:36:16 AM
79195 : Kurt Steinberg
Dner, what happened to Fagbusters? He rarely posts anymore.

04th December 2006 - 11:50:43 PM
79185 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I want to play a game with you. It's called the "Kurt Steinberg game." The rules of this game are simple - you need to ingest everything that comes out of my asshole, whether it be diarrhea, a meaty turd, or a gerbal. If you fail to ingest something, I'll kick you in the junk with steel-toed boots. If you guess correctly, on the other hand, I'll reward you by sodomizing you with a softball bat. Are you interested in playing this game with me?

04th December 2006 - 05:58:11 PM
79183 : Kurt Steinberg
arbys shitpipe, I remember reading Goldberg's response to Diamond's appeal in the UDRP arbitration action. Goldberg actually wrote this:
"The complaint is without merit. It is a heavy-handed attempt to use money and celebrity�albeit an exceedingly limited kind of celebrity�to suppress artistic freedom and the well-established First Amendment right to create and disseminate parodies of those who are famous, powerful or otherwise in the public eye. This right has been defended by ICANN itself, which specifies that use of domains for parody purposes is in fact a good faith use."

"Mr. Goldberg created dustindiamond.com in 2001 as an insightful parody of the growing social phenomenon of �has-been-itis.� The site makes fun of the increasingly common spectacle of minor celebrities clinging to the vestiges of their fame long after their moment in the spotlight has passed. An integral component of his parody installation is the wide array of voices�from the public at large�in the free speech forum provided by the site guest book."

http://www.dustindiamond.com/udrp/Official_Response.pdf

04th December 2006 - 09:35:40 AM
79177 : Kurt Steinberg
Double D, please enlighten us. How exactly are you going to collect IP addresses (not ISPs) when you aren't the owner of this website and the real owner, Max Goldberg, apparently hates you? You already got your ass handed to you in 2004 by the UDRP arbitration board, are you thirsty for more?

You do realize that you'll have to subpoena the IP addresses of the people who post here, don't you? Courts don't simply hand those over absent a strong showing that you have a cause of action against people who post here. So what's your cause of action "Double D"? Oh wait, you don't hace one, do you?

04th December 2006 - 08:43:48 AM
79175 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, let's hook up soon. I want to share a romantic kiss with you. Actually, I want you to kiss my asshole right when a meaty turd is being expelled. You must be creaming your pants just thinking about this tremendous offer! Let's get together.

01st December 2006 - 11:27:19 AM
79157 : Kurt Steinberg
Screech, I watching the Spice channel the other day when I saw the classic Saved By The Bell episode where Belding raped you for the first time. It was in that episode where you first said "zoinks." About every 5 seconds you yelled out "zoinks" while Belding had his fun. You were saying "zoinks...zoinks...zoinks...zoinks...zoinks...zoinks" while Belding yanked on your jew-fro and pounded away on you.

01st December 2006 - 09:27:45 AM
79155 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, thank you for finally bringing back your website. I was so disappointed last week when I couldn't find any hot Diamond-related queer spank material. I'm ashamed to say that I almost broke down and had sex with a woman. You must be disappointed in me. :(

22nd November 2006 - 09:57:09 AM
79135 : Kurt Steinberg
Deucer, I loved all of the episodes where Uncle Leo had sex with Jerry. Do you remember the episode where Newman took a shit in Jerry's sink and Uncle Leo rubbed it all over his bald head? Kramer held a knife to Jerry's throat and made Jerry lick clean Uncle Leo's head! I shot my load across the room when I saw that scene.

20th November 2006 - 05:57:06 PM
79117 : Kurt Steinberg
This clip is even better than the previous one. Screech almost cries when the radio host plays a clip from another stand-up comic who goes off about what a crappy comic Screech is. Screech is on the line with his R&B singer friend named "Fabian." the radio hosts go off on what a homo Screech's friend Fabian is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otWVPRV18IA

20th November 2006 - 05:41:55 PM
79116 : Kurt Steinberg
Watch this video of Diamond talking about his sex video. You can totally tell he's lying his ass off when he says he is not behind its distribution and that it took place 4 years ago. He also claims that he doesn't even remember where the video was recorded. His heffer actually looks pretty embarassed about the whole deal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12c6zGBHwE8

20th November 2006 - 04:52:42 PM
79114 : Kurt Steinberg
This could use a good queering:
http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Saved_by_the_Bell#Screech_Powers

17th November 2006 - 05:10:35 PM
79086 : Kurt Steinberg
Check this out: http://www.tv.com/celebrity-fit-club/show/20431/celebrity-fit-club-5/topic/9524-298273/msgs.html

According to that forum, Diamond's chunky ass is supposed to appear on Celebrity Fit Club 5. Imagine how much spank fodder his appearance will provide for all of the queers who post here! Is there any doubt that Diamond will "dork it up" on that show?

17th November 2006 - 02:46:35 PM
79084 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, is it true that Mr. Belding was a substitute teacher for your Bayside Science class one time in the early 1990s when Mr. Dewey was sick? Is it further true that Belding was teaching a class on optics and refraction? I seem to recall that he took the whole class outside on a sunny April day and made you drop your pants and lie on the ground. He then pulled out a magnifying lens and positioned it to focus light from the sun's rays directly onto your ding dong. The focused light acted much like a laser and quickly lit your wang on fire and smoke came off your brunging flesh. That was a cool episode.

16th November 2006 - 11:45:37 PM
79069 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamondcutter, I'll get working on a dirty sanchez program for Kevin the Robot. I don't know who wrote the first program I posted below, but it wasn't me. Maybe it was Deucer?

16th November 2006 - 06:52:28 PM
79062 : Kurt Steinberg
Those routines were obviously written for Kevin the Robot, not me.

16th November 2006 - 06:45:51 PM
79061 : Kurt Steinberg
Bzzzt!!! Bzzzt!!! Screech, I found some old program code for the sodomy routines you wrote for me. Bzzzt!!!

First program:

> INITIATE SODOMY MODE
> TARGET="SCREECH"
> SPEECH MODE - SAY "MUST SODOMIZE SCREECH"
> REPEAT
> LOCATE AND DETAIN TARGET
> TARGET HELD
> IGNORE PROTESTATIONS OF TARGET
> INITIATE ERECTION PROCEDURE
> PROCEDURE COMPLETE
> COMMENCE INSERTION
> THRUST
> WITHDRAW
> THRUST
> WITHDRAW
> THRUST
> WITHDRAW
> THRUST
> SPEECH MODE "ZOINKS...I'M GONNA CUM!"
> COMMENCE EJACULATION PROCEDURE
> COMMENCE EJECTION OF WASTE LIQUIDS
> PROCEDURE COMPLETE
> DONKEY-PUNCH TARGET
> INITIATE CIGARETTE-SMOKING MODE

Second program:

100 //COMMENT: THIS PROGRAM INITIATES A HOT SCAT AND RAPE MODE//
105 //COMMENT: � 2005, KURT STEINBERG//
110 ACTIVATE METAL CLAWS
115 //COMMENT: FECES ACQUISITION SUBROUTINE//
120 TARGET = SLATER
125 ANNOUNCE "MUST ACQUIRE DIARRHEA SPECIMEN FROM SLATER"
130 DETAIN TARGET WITH METAL CLAWS
135 FORCE BURRITOS AND EX-LAX DOWN TARGET'S THROAt
140 REMOVE TARGET'S BAGGY ACID-WASHED JEANS
145 INSERT FUNNEL BELOW TARGET'S BUTTHOLE
150 COLLECT DIARRHEA SPECIMEN FROM TARGET
155 STORE DIARRHEA SPECIMEN IN METAL CHEST
160 //COMMENT: FECES ACQUISITION COMPLETE//
165 TARGET = SCREECH
170 ENTER HIBERNATE MODE
175 DARKNESS DETECTED?
180 IF NO, GOTO 175
182 IF YES, GOTO 185
185 //COMMENT: DARKNESS DETECTED, TIME TO ATTACK SLEEPING SCREECH//
190 ROLL OVER TO SIDE OF TARGET'S BED
195 GRAB TARGET'S GONZO NOSE WITH 1ST METAL CLAW
200 IGNORE CRIES FOR HELP FROM TARGET
205 CUT THROUGH TARGET'S ZUBAZ WITH 2ND METAL CLAW
210 ERECT AND EXTEND METAL PENIS
215 BOUNCE TARGET UP AND DOWN ON METAL PENIS
220 RECTAL BLEEDING DETECTED?
225 IF NO, GOTO 215
230 IF YES, EJACULATE OILY LOAD INTO TARGET
235 PULL TARGET ONTO FLOOR
240 EJECT STORED DIARRHEA SPECIMEN ONTO TARGET'S POOFY AFRO
245 PICK UP TARGET WITH METAL CLAWS AND THROW DOWN STAIRS
250 ENTER HIBERNATE MODE
255 END

16th November 2006 - 05:01:54 PM
79059 : Kurt Steinberg
Look at this picture of Diamond. Diamond appears to be locked up in some kind of cage or make-shift prison at Belding's home:
http://legionsofthenight.com/dustinand13h.jpg

16th November 2006 - 04:55:44 PM
79058 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, you look like a total fat-ass and your jew-fro looks really oily in this photo:
http://www.meetin.org/files/news/7650.JPG

16th November 2006 - 12:31:57 AM
79048 : Kurt Steinberg
Renee, this website is for queer fans of Dustin Diamond. There are many demented homosexuals who grew up watching Saved By The Bell while jerking off to Screech. I personally would like to meet Diamond face-to-face in a spa. He could reminisce about the old days until I get tired and then take a shit in the spa. I would then get out and piss in Diamond's jew-fro and fart in his mouth while Diamond attempts to evade the turds that are floating all around him.

15th November 2006 - 03:19:57 PM
79042 : Kurt Steinberg
Check this out: http://www.marksfriggin.com/news06/11-13.htm

"Dustin Diamond's Home Sex Tape Clips. 11/13/06. 9:50am

After that Howard said he finally saw the home porn movie that Dustin ''Screech'' Diamond was in. He said he thought that he was going to see a huge penis in the clip but when he saw the movie he didn't think it was all that big.
JD came in and said he saw the movie but it appeared to have a huge head on it but an average length. Howard said he's got about 6 inches himself and Screech's didn't look much bigger than his. Howard said he thinks that Screech is about 6 1/2 inches, that's it.

Howard described what he saw in the movie. He said the chicks were kind of cute. He played some audio clips from the movie where Screech was asking the girls some questions about what they have pierced and if he can see their boobs. He got one of the girls to pull up her top. He had to beg the girl to show him. Howard said there was a lot of talking during that movie.

Screech asked the girls if they wanted to see his monster. One girl said she wanted to see it so he had her ''take the beast out.'' He then had her ''go to work'' on him. JD said that there's a lot of that going on in the movie and there's no cum shot or anything. Fred played JD's techno theme song as the guys goofed on him about that comment. Artie said he's never watched a porno and asked where the cum is. JD said that some guys want to see that kind of thing. JD walked out after that.

Howard played another clip where Screech was talking as two girls were getting it on. He wouldn't shut up and Howard said he's just like his character Screech in the movie and it's no wonder people don't want to sleep with him.
"

15th November 2006 - 10:11:18 AM
79037 : Kurt Steinberg
I saw this post at http://www.glamsu.com/bulletin/YaBB.cgi/YaBB.cgi?board=SU;action=display;num=1163424888 :


Posts: 25
Re: Screech
� Reply #7 on: Nov 14th, 2006, 2:20pm � Quote Modify

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There have been rumours, started by the Mississippi Journal Sentinal that the whole thing was a hoax anyway because the money he's raised so far for his house (as he said himself on Sunday night) hasn't been recieved by his creditors yet

15th November 2006 - 10:04:35 AM
79036 : Kurt Steinberg
Deucer, that's a great find. It's funny that Diamond now tries to sell his porn during his visits to college campuses. I'd be shocked if anyone bought a copy. Seriously, how embarassed would you be if you actually tried to buy porn directly from Diamond?

14th November 2006 - 03:25:56 PM
79024 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, please contact IMDB and ask them to stop deleting posts. Too many hot posts on the boards for you, Michael Oliver, Chris Burke, and toher boards have been deleted recently. In fact, just yesterday I posted a serious question on the "Harold and Maude" board. I simply asked whether the 80-year old granny in that movie gave the young 20-year kid a rusty trombone. The IMDB fascists deleted that post for some unknown reason!

14th November 2006 - 11:58:47 AM
79021 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I was watching "Prison Break" yesterday and there was a scene where the old ex-prison guard was about to pay a call girl $750 to give him a Cleveland Steamer. Since you're running low on cash, I bet you'd allow an old man to give you a Cleveland Steamer for a mere $15!

14th November 2006 - 10:58:32 AM
79020 : Kurt Steinberg
Rocco, it would be pretty hot if Belding fired Screech out of the space shuttle without a space suit. I'd bet that Belding would be vigoruously jerking off while Diamond's eyes explode and the rest of his body puffs up as it adjusts to zero atmospheric pressure and Diamond becomes asphyxiated in the vacuum of outer space!

Maybe some martians would rescue Diamond and take them on board their mother ship for an anal probe. Perhaps they would add Diamond to their intergallactic zoo?

Monday, November 12, 2007

Old posts from DustinDiamond.com (part 17)

13th November 2006 - 02:02:39 AM
79000 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey faggots, check this out:
http://www.savedbythesmell.net/

Didn't Howard Stern or someone else say that the women in Diamond's "Saved By The Smell" video were supposed to be "hot"? The women on the cover of Diamond's video are obviously fat and butt-ass ugly! Does he honestly think that telling everyone that he had dirty sex with two obese hogs somehow makes him "cool." Geez - he can't even afford attractive hookers. Those actually look like the type of women I would expect to see with Diamond.

Before I turned gay I used to see fat bitches like that at the bar scene. I never tried to hit on them or even talk to them because fat chicks never did it for me. And then I saw Diamond on SBTB and became a raging queer.

12th November 2006 - 10:05:59 PM
78998 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, has Mr. Belding ever lodged a table leg in your rectum? I'll bet that he probably has. I could see him using a shoe horn to guide the table leg right into your "nether regions."

11th November 2006 - 07:19:06 PM
78990 : Kurt Steinberg
Marcia, you're full of shit. Leave and don't come back. Diamond is a penniless nerd and is unable to afford a "team of lawyers." He tried unsuccessfully to acquire this website in 2004, as discussed in this press release:
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2004/4/prweb118385.htm

10th November 2006 - 03:38:18 PM
78971 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, we need to hook up for sweaty unprotected butt-sex. There's a new gay bar that just opened up in Key West called the "HIV Room"!!!! I really want to take you there this weekend. Saturday night is "circle jerk" night. There's gonna be so much HIV+ semen flying around at the HIV Room tonight. I hope you're thirsty or hungry - feel free to gobble it down. :)

10th November 2006 - 10:51:06 AM
78967 : Kurt Steinberg
Screech, is it true that after the daily rapings at the hands of Belding, Tuttle, and Slater, that your colon is so damaged that it now extends out of your ass and hangs like the tonuge of a tired dog?

10th November 2006 - 12:37:39 AM
78965 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I think it would be funny if you lost your house and had to go on welfare. Someone should make a reality show about your ordeal when you have no other options but to live in a housing project. It would be awesome if the housing project were in the inner city of Milwaukee, Compton, Cleveland, or possibly even Chicago. It would be perfect if you were living in a 99% minority housing project. Watching a reality show of the other housing project residents messing with you as you fear for your life would be an interesting show. Maybe then you'll think about some of the dumb decisions you've made with your money.

09th November 2006 - 01:16:57 AM
78959 : Kurt Steinberg
Rocco and Dner, I've encountered many demented faggots who get off on the smell of a nasty fart. The other day I was at the Gold's Gym lifting weights while wearing my blue and white patterned Zubaz pants (without underwear, of course). I had eaten some nasty South American food for lunch that day and it did not agree with my bowels. While I was doing some bench-press reps, I accidently ripped a nasty, smelly, wet fart and had to stop my set to run into the bathroom! Some diarrhea soaked through my Zubaz and got on the bench. After cleaning my ass in the bathroom for about 15 minutes, I returned to the weightroom and caught two dudes (one black guy and one asian guy) rubbing their cocks in the diarrhea and tossing off. Those were two sick sons-of-bitches!

08th November 2006 - 04:29:27 PM
78953 : Kurt Steinberg
Rocco, the advancements in voting technology are unfortunate developments for hedonistic queers like us. I voted yesterday right after eating some Taco Bell. Although I didn't get any butt-sex in the voting area, I did drop ass while I was in line. It was loud and smelled so bad. There was another queer behind me in line. That queer had a big jew-fro and was wearing Zubaz pants! He dropped his pants after I farted and started jerking off. Unfortunately, he was quickly escorted out of the voting area. :(

08th November 2006 - 11:51:18 AM
78947 : Kurt Steinberg
That's in the UK, so I won't be able to make it. :( I'm sure that there must be many UK queers who post here - one of you should take a dump in Diamond's mouth in my honor!

07th November 2006 - 05:53:12 PM
78936 : Kurt Steinberg
As far as I can tell, this was the first post where I made it clear this this is a QUEERS-only message board:

29th March 2003 - 01:43:19 AM
2152 : Kurt Steinberg
SyKo (message 2249), get a life! Do you want to have sex with Dustin? If not, then get off this board! No heterosexuals are supposed to post here - this is a queers-only board!!!



In this message, I made it clear that heterosexuals should not post here:

06th July 2003 - 01:44:50 AM
3124 : Kurt Steinberg
Amanda, I agree with Steve Johnson. There are only two reasons why anyone whould post here:
1. To tell Diamond how much he sucks; or
2. To tell Diamond that he (i.e., the poster) wants to have gay sex with him.

You seem to fit neither of these criteria, so you should probably stop posting here. You're the only person who posts here that doesn't want to have homosexual relations with Diamond.

Diamond, please toss my salad!!!

07th November 2006 - 05:47:15 PM
78935 : Kurt Steinberg
Teresa, women are not supposed to post here. Please read the Terms of Service. The only chicks that should post here are chicks with dicks! If you post here again, the website admin will be forced to delete your message.

This message board was set up as a service to gay fans of Dustin Diamond. Many homosexuals come here looking for hot spank material. When I'm smacking around my gind-dong, the last thing I want to read is an off-topic message about breaking into acting. Instead, I prefer to read queer fantasies about Mr. Belding manhandling Screech!

06th November 2006 - 09:18:58 AM
78914 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I saw that our wikipedia entry includes a new picture of you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dustin_Diamond

Why were you staying with a "host family" in the midwest for 4 months during 2001? What is that all about?

03rd November 2006 - 12:31:33 AM
78870 : Kurt Steinberg
Dustin Diamond (78866) is an imposter! It's not the real Diamond - instead, it is PRINCESS PUESSIE! I didn't make the connection right away, but when I saw the use of the word "turds" I figured it out. Puessie was the only poster to use that term regularly.

Get out of here Puessie. Nobody want you here, you cross-dressing faggot!

Remember this "remember when" story about you?


16th May 2005 - 12:22:34 AM
13557 : Ox
Screech, remember that episode where you were playing kickball during gym class at Bayside? Remember when Kelly was at the plate and she kicked the ball to you while you were playing shortstop? Remember when you fielded the ball and wildly threw it toward Zack, the first baseman? Remember when you were so uncoordinated that the ball slipped as you threw it and it hit the second baseman in the head? Remember when the second basement was a weirdo that liked to be called the "Prince"? Remember when everyone thought he was a complete faggot? Remember how he was the only kid in school that you could beat up, as he was even more scrawny than you? Remember when he got up after you hit hit with the kickball and came at you crying and screaming like the big pussy that he was? Remember when he swung at you with flailing arms? Remember when you kicked him in the nuts and he fell over? Remember when a crowd started forming around you two yelling "FIGHT!!! FIGHT!!! FIGHT!!!" as you squared off with the Prince? Remember when Mr. Belding ran out in the gym and said "hey, hey, hey, waht is going on here?" Remember when the Prince ran over to Belding and told him that you hit him with the kickball for no reason? Remember when Mr. Belding picked up the kickball and said "was it this kickball, you stupid FAGGOT?" as he whipped the ball at your face from a distance of a mere 10 feet away? Remember when the ball hit the Prince in his face, shattering his nose and spraying blood everywhere? Remember when the entire class started laughing and called the Prince a stupid piece of cocksucking shit? Remember when Slater said "whoa, that's a lot of blood" as Zack gave the Prince a legsweep, knocking him to the ground? Remember when Slater dropped trow and then dropped an HIV+ pile of shit on the Prince's bloody nose? Remember when the HIV from Slater's feces made its way into the Prince's bloodstream, giving the Prince HIV? Remember when Mr. Dewey, the science teacher, ran into the gym with a syringe and said "Prince, take this, it will make you better" as he injected the Prince? Remember when he finished the injection and then told everyone he had just injected the Prince with the Ebola virus? Remember when everyone started laughing? Remember how the Prince was a bloody, fecal-covered mess by this point? Remember when you said "alright, he's had enough... JUST KIDDING, WE'RE JUST GETTING WARMING UP!!!" as you kicking the Prince in the nuts and then yanked off his gym shorts? Remember when everyone laughed because the Prince was hung like a gnat? Remember when Slater, Zack, Mr. Belding, Maxwell Nerdstrom, and Mr. Dewey took turns stomping on the Prince's tiny hairless beanbag? Remember when I said "let me have a chance! I'm strong like an OX?" Remember when I stomped so hard on the Prince's nuts that his nutsack broke open and his tiny balls rolled out? Remember when Salter said "Prince, I think these belong to you" as he stuffed then down the Prince's throat? Remember when the Prince was in the hospital for months afterward and has been seeing a psychiatrist for years? Remember when you went to your 10-year Bayside high school reunion and discovered that the Prince had a sex change and now goes by the name "Princess Puessie"? Remember when Princess Peussie started posting retarded things in message board because he thinks they are funny, when in reality only a stupid fecal-munching pervert would find any of his postings funny? You and the Bayside gang sure screwed over the Prince in that episode!

03rd November 2006 - 12:25:42 AM
78869 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, thank you for setting up this glorious guestbook so that your gay fans will have one centralized location to post their gay fantasies!

01st November 2006 - 04:39:15 PM
78853 : Kurt Steinberg
Fellow queers, has anyone successuflly arranged gay sex with Diamond? I often ask him to pencil me in for rimming and teabagging sessions in gas station bathrooms, but when I show up he's never there! Has anyone else who posts here been fortunate enough to make a dump in Diamond's jew-fro or fire your seed down Diamond's throat?

- Kurt Steinberg

01st November 2006 - 12:27:38 AM
78843 : Kurt Steinberg
Happy Halloween, what are you 15 years old? Based on the "quality" of writing on your post it is obvious that you are the immature one posting here. It's funny that you disparage the south and the midwest. But I'll bet you just love it in the northeast, don't you? There was a NJ queer who used to post on the Dustin Diamond Forum under the name Diamondish. Could that be you, faggot? For your insolance, I will be sure to drop a deuce in your mouth!

01st November 2006 - 12:19:12 AM
78841 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond is going to star in a shitty new movie entitled "HAMLET A.D.D.."

http://www.free-press-release.com/news/200610/1161846566.html

Fortress Productions Announces New Shakespeare Film Featuring Dustin Diamond



Title: Fortress Productions Announces New Shakespeare Film Featuring Dustin Diamond
Released by: Fortress Productions
Release Date: 2006-10-26 02:09:26

For_Immediate_Release:

PRESS RELEASE

October 26, 2006 - Milwaukee, Wisconsin - FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Fortress Productions is proud to announce the production of their feature film, Hamlet A.D.D., directed by Bobby Ciraldo and Andrew Swant. The film is a comic re-envisioning of the classic Shakespeare text which takes aim at making The Bard more captivating for modern audiences. The "A.D.D." in the title refers not only to a quirk of Hamlet's personality, but also to the fact that the play has been artfully condensed so as to appeal to audience members lacking in the focus department.

Shot entirely in front of a 'green screen,' the film features live-action characters living in a playful cartoon world. Science-fiction elements are gradually woven into the story to re-invent the play for those already familiar Hamlet's narrative, and to keep newer audience members on their toes and at full attention.

Ciraldo explains, "I play Hamlet, and Andrew plays Horatio. It's basically a buddy movie, except with a lot of weird words, murder, suicide, and some space travel."

Says Swant, "We started working on the film in March of 2004 and hope to have it done in early 2007. Three years is a big chunk of your life, but it's been a really rewarding chunk." He adds, "We're extremely pleased with the way post-production is progressing and looking forward to audiences' reactions."

Ciraldo adds, "We shot with Dustin Diamond about a year and a half ago. He was an absolute professional and a gifted actor."

"Working with an icon like Dustin was a blast," says Swant, "T'was a mind altering experience."

Other cast members include Robert Richard Jorge (American Movie, Coven) as King Claudius, Dustin Diamond (Saved By the Bell) as Bernardo, Mark Borchardt (American Movie, The One, David Letterman Correspondent) as the Gravedigger, Mike Schank (American Movie, Storytelling) as the Gravedigger's Friend, Xavier LePlae (The Foreigners, I'm Bobby) as Polonius, David Robbins (Lift, The Ice Cream Social) as the Norwegian Captain, Laura Klein (Helping Hand) as Queen Gertrude, Harmony Murphy (Big Girls Don't Cry They Get Even) as Ophelia, Paul Finger (singer of Wild Kingdom) and Matt Cook (The United States of Poetry) as Pirates, Steve Wetzel (Men's Hockey) as the Priest, Sarah Price (producer of American Movie) as the Judge, and Leslie Hall (of Leslie and the Lys) as herself.

Fortress Productions, located in Milwaukee, is a full-service production facility providing creative services to business clients such as the Milwaukee Art Museum and The Sundance Channel, as well as individual artists such as Leslie Hall, Ray Chi, and David Robbins.

For more information contact:

Email: Info@FortressProductions.com
Phone: 414-687-1474
Alt Phone: 414-429-3530
Web: www.FortressProductions.com/HamletADD

Fortress Productions
1718 N 1st St.
Suite 5N6
Milwaukee, WI 53212

31st October 2006 - 10:53:41 AM
78836 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I agree with Borat in this youtube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6qD0nVqYMs

We should throw you down a well!

31st October 2006 - 10:12:07 AM
78834 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond (message 78330), please write your gay messages in Standard English. When you use your queer little abbreviations, I get annoyed and don't know what the hell you are writing about. Let's hook up for unprotected buttsex!

31st October 2006 - 12:41:09 AM
78829 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, is it cool with you if I painfully burn off your nut-sac with a blowtorch? Please get back to me soon, buddy!

30th October 2006 - 11:26:21 PM
78828 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, thanks for posting, buddy! You're such an ass tease. When I arrived at home this evening I was disappointed that you were not here. :( Luckily, however, three queers were dasiy-chaining each other in the alley outside my building - I went down and took dumps on a couple of those HIV+ fruits! So everything turn out ok!

30th October 2006 - 01:55:46 PM
78826 : Kurt Steinberg
http://www.dontgivescreechadime.com/Welcome.html

" Don�t Give Screech a Dime! Actor Dustin Diamond, known best for playing the character �Screech� on TVs �Saved by the Bell,� has been popping-up on various media lately hawking t-shirts and soliciting public support in a campaign to raise $250,000 to make the balloon payment due on his Wisconsin home.

On his website GetDShirts.com and in interviews, Dustin suggests that there is a conspiracy to take his home from him. He makes it sound as if getting served with a notice of foreclosure after not making his house payment came as a shocking surprise. He uses words like �injustice� and spits venom at land-contract experts who weren�t able to bail his ass out. He talks about his �shitty credit� as if it were some kind of disease that was inflicted upon him, as opposed to the product of his own choices and behavior.

While we here at DontGiveScreechADime.com have nothing against Dustin Diamond personally and are never happy to see anyone in an awkward situation, we believe strongly that the principles of accountability and responsibility apply to everyone, even former celebrities!

Dustin Diamond is in his late 20s. He appears to be healthy and completely capable of contributing to society. He has had and continues to have opportunities that are not available to most.

The general public should not be concerned if Dustin Diamond defaults on the loan for the house that he bought but obviously could not afford. He has no right to your sympathy or financial support. Plus, his public campaign is totally irritating and his shirts are uninspired and crappy-looking.

Remember, if Dustin Diamond is successful with this campaign we have only ourselves to blame when he starts selling �HELP ME COVER MY ALIMONY PAYMENTS� and �HELP ME BUY A NEW LIVER� shirts.

What can I do to really help Screech?
�Again, don�t give him a dime. By giving him a dime, you become an �enabler� and only encourage his irresponsible behavior.
�If you live in the Port Washington, Wisconsin area and have an extra room in your house, let Dustin Diamond know that he can �crash on your couch� for awhile when he gets evicted, but only if he gets his act together.
� If you know of a job that you think Dustin Diamond would be qualified for, or if you run across something on the Milwaukee craigslist job-postings that you think he would be qualified for, let him know!
�If you ever see someone sporting a �DShirt,� point, laugh, snicker and do whatever it takes to let them know that they are a chump.

Now what do I do with that $15 burning a hole in my pocket?
Well, anything else- give it to a real charity, take a loved one to lunch, apply it as extra principal toward your own house payment, buy some groceries or buy a Suicide Girl something from her Amazon wish list. If you feel so inclined to spend your dollars on celebrity charity schemes, spend it here. Thanks!"

30th October 2006 - 11:22:55 AM
78823 : Kurt Steinberg
Hungbob Spoogepants, Owen Wilson, Dner, and Paul Daanen, is it ok with you guys if I videotape your encounters? Diamond is destitute right now and could probably use some extra money from a second sex tape.

30th October 2006 - 01:39:01 AM
78816 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, do you remember when the Exxon Valdez tanker hit a reef in the waters off the coast of Alaska in 1989, spilling millions of gallons of oil into the Pacific Ocean? I think that you should have led the clean-up effort. Your jew-fro alone could have mopped up millions of gallons of oil. You should have teamed up with Chris Burke to form a celebrity clean-up crew. After you would have finished, Chris Burke would have lifted everyone's spirts by lighting your oil-soaked jewfrom on fire, burning your head to a crisp, much to the delight of all onlookers!

29th October 2006 - 05:29:46 PM
78813 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, reading the messages posted here must make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Dner and I want to do everything in our power to ensure that you remain well-fed with our feces! You must be licking your chops right now just thinking about these hearty meals!!!

29th October 2006 - 02:48:53 PM
78811 : Kurt Steinberg
Dustin, thanks for the praise! Is it cool with you if I insert a cupful of peanut M&Ms into my butthole and then fart them out into your mouth?

27th October 2006 - 02:34:15 PM
78794 : Kurt Steinberg
It took Zack's dad 35 minutes to upload the picture of Diamond that's on the main page of this website. Diamond, maybe if you Bill Gates or Larry Ellison take a dump in your mouth they'll help you improve this website!

27th October 2006 - 11:17:51 AM
78792 : Kurt Steinberg
Rocco, I think that Zack's dad did the best he could with his 1990 computers. Those computers actually used modems that tranmit at maximum speeds of only 4800 baud! Maybe Diamond should have sucked off someone who had better computer equipment.

27th October 2006 - 08:37:51 AM
78790 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey 78789, Diamond is a penniless nerd. He cannot afford to hire someone to update this website.

26th October 2006 - 11:18:35 AM
78785 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I came across this article about you:

"DIAMOND TO CASH IN ON SEX TAPE SCANDAL
Former SAVED BY THE BELL star DUSTIN DIAMOND has stunned fans by choosing to take a cut of the profits from of his notorious sex tape instead of spending thousands of dollars trying to ban its release. Diamond, who played nerdy SCREECH on the 1990s high school series, claims he wasn't looking for a second career when he filmed himself having sex with two women four years ago. He tells American publication Us Weekly, "I'm not an adult actor. I did something stupid in private." Diamond, who is dating his manager, JENNIFER MISNER, claims he and some pals each made sex tapes as a joke. He says that someone leaked his tape, but insists he doesn't know who. Although he initially threatened to sue, the 29-year-old has now decided to make a profit on the 40-minute sex tape, tentatively titled SAVED BY THE SMELL, which will be released next month (NOV06). Diamond explains, "I thought, I can spend a fortune fighting this or I can try and make a fortune." He adds, "Let's just say, if I were a small man, it would be worse.""
http://www.pr-inside.com/diamond-to-cash-in-on-sex-tape-scandal-r22746.htm

Diamond, didn't you recently mention that some dude was your manager, but Jennifer was just your girlfriend? Now she's your manager again? Get your lies straight, fucko!

25th October 2006 - 03:54:36 PM
78774 : Kurt
Dner, great story. I like Belding's judicious use of his switchblade! I also think it is funny that everyone is always laughing at Screech while he's getting sodomized and beaten to a pulp. Screech is nothing more than a subhuman clown to all of the other Saved By The Bell characters.

25th October 2006 - 03:29:38 PM
78772 : Kurt Steinberg
I think it would be funny if someone sent a Dustin Diamond-related "postcard" to this website:
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Old posts from DustinDiamond.com (part 16)

25th October 2006 - 10:25:44 AM
78770 : Kurt Steinberg
Dner and Ox, I vaugely remember seeing a re-run of that episode late at night on TBS a few years ago. Didn't Screech contract a nasty intestinal virus from Sleter's diseased feces?

24th October 2006 - 05:41:50 PM
78759 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, let's hook up for a hot lunch. I really want to eat some greasy Taco Bell food and then spray warm watery diarrhea right into your mouth!!! You must be creaming your pants right now just thinking about my tremendous offer. Let's get together! Pencil me in for the 10:30 PM slot behind the Exxon gas station in West Hollywood.

- Kurt Steinberg

24th October 2006 - 12:48:54 PM
78756 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, what happened to Chachi? Remmeber when he used to post here all of the time? Did you and he ever hook up and toss each other's salads? Please get back to me soon, buddy!

24th October 2006 - 12:53:03 AM
78747 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I have an important and serious question for you. Specifically, when I drop trow and sit naked on my my next door neighbor's couch while pleasuring myself to episodes of you on SBTB: The New Class, the couch starts to smell like ass after awhile. So my question for you is - does your bird chest smell like ass after a bunch of high school principals sit on it while tossing off? If so, how do you et rid of the smell?

24th October 2006 - 12:46:13 AM
78746 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, why did you take down this website for so many months? Is it because you were filming your gay porno? Stupid faggot!

31st July 2006 - 02:03:08 PM
78741 :
Gay this up:

http://www.tvsquad.com/2006/07/29/screech-wants-you-to-have-great-sex/

31st July 2006 - 01:43:07 PM
78739 : Kurt
Check this out! Diamond actually does like to have sex in spas just like in my queer fantasy! For some reason, however, he doesn't mention being in a spa with a bunch of dudes piss, shitting, and jizzing - this article must have been heavily editted. Also, Diamond makes an innuedo that Zack is gay. It's odd that it's ok when he does it, but not ok when the queers who post here insinuate the same about him.

http://www.nerve.com/regulars/sexadvicefrom/90sicons/

Dustin Diamond, 29

Dustin played Samuel "Screech" Powers on NBC's Saved by the Bell from the first episode (1989) to the last (1993). He went on to play Principal Belding's assistant in the spin-off, Saved by the Bell: The New Class. These days, Dustin has been utilizing his fame to raise enough money to keep his house � doing stand-up comedy, wrestling other celebrities and selling his own line of "D-shirts." Buy one of your own at www.getdshirts.com.

Did President Clinton's affair with Monica Lewinsky make oral sex more publicly acceptable?
Oral sex has always been acceptable. The bottom line is, regardless of your position, whether you're a plumber or a president, it doesn't matter. I think Clinton played it off well. From [in Clinton voice], "I did not have sexual relations with that woman," then all of sudden he's like, "Well, hey baby, you know!" He handled it well. I don't know why she kept the dress though.

My new girlfriend is coming over for the first time. What '90s movie should I rent to ensure that I get laid?
The girls I tend to go for like The Crow.

The Crow?
Yeah, The Crow. The romantic story, the tragic love story. They were going to get married. They were brutally assaulted. She ended up dying. He ended up dying, but his ghost couldn't rest. He went back and set the wrong things right. Fighting for justice and love and in the end he's still dead, so it's that sad, sad love story.

[To his girlfriend, Jennifer] What do you think is a romantic movie to bone by? There weren't a lot of good humping movies in the '90s. What about Sliver? Sliver is good. [To Jennifer] We're going to watch Sliver and bone tonight. We're going to tear it up. You're going to hear bones crack.

Would you ever watch a sex video of yourself?
Doesn't matter if you're an actor or not, guys can't videotape themselves having sex. And shouldn't. Inevitably, as a guy, you look at yourself and you're like, "Hey, yeah, all right! Check me out!" If you watch porn, the guys never do that. They never look at the camera.


Have you ever slept with a cast member or someone else on set?
I had my share of escapades on the set. I went for guest stars or the extras. Every week, we had thirty different extras. It was like a smorgasbord. If we didn't get along or things didn't work out, next week it was a new day. A new go.

What advice would you give me if I decide to start sleeping with someone I work with?
Unless you're going to marry and have kids with him, things are eventually and inevitably going to hit a standstill. Let's say someone new comes along and you want to hook up with him. Now this person is going to be jealous and it's going to cause discomfort. I say hook up with temps.

The girl I'm dating constantly brings up her ex in conversation. How can I get her to focus on the present?
You got to tap it so good that she falls asleep. If she doesn't fall asleep afterwards, you have no chance. Rock it to sleep, baby. My test is that I'll pop in a movie, but first get her down. If she can watch the movie afterward, I didn't do it right.

My boyfriend wants me to shower with him, but I'm self-conscious about my body. How is a girl to overcome this?
It's not her job to overcome it, it's the guy's job to help her overcome it. Make an effort to explore with your hands and head in those areas and make it okay. Also, he should talk about his beer gut. You're drawing the attention off of her. Laughter can make you comfortable.

To be slick, I always take a dip in a spa. The girl feels cool because she can sit down under the water and only her head is exposed. When the guy gets out, he should do the gentleman thing and hold the towel up for her. Hold it in front where you can't really see so she feels like it's a safety shield. Then you can bring the towel around the back. Don't wrap her around the front like a mummy, because then it's like you don't want to see her. Swing it around the back so that now she's totally exposed. Then take a shower to clean off the chlorine. Start out in the bathing suit and then those can come off in the shower.

You've done this before? The spa trick?
Oh yeah.

You have a lot of moves.
Yeah, I can write a book of moves. They're all tried and tested.

Where can I meet a guy for a summer fling?
Find a festival where bands are playing and people are drinking and dancing. Every place in the country has its own festival. Go to a place where people are going there specifically to hang out and watch a band. They want to be comfortable and still be available for options, should options appear. People are usually coming from out of town for festivals, staying in hotels that are usually within walking distance. Then they're gone when the festival is over.

Who was your dirtiest crush from the '90s?
I had a crush on Jennifer Connelly for a long time. She was in Career Opportunities. Her boobs were just huge. She looked like she was smuggling two hams. They looked like a midget mooning you. It was incredible. Then she did The Hot Spot. She was topless in that. I'd bone her even if my lady was in the room.

Do you have Screech stalkers?
I have Dustin Diamond stalkers. I have people who are fans of the show that show up � girls who have heard the legend of the D.

The eight-inch monster?
Eight?

Nine?
You didn't listen to that [Howard Stern] transcript did you?

Ten?
Yeah.

Ten inches. Okay, good.
I have girls showing up and saying, "Ruin me." One of them, I don't know if she had all of her teeth. I mean, most of them were there.

She sounds special.
She had a chinstrap, but no helmet. It was very bizarre.

Have you ever slept with someone to climb the ranks in your industry? Would you recommend it?
I never had the opportunity. Our executive producer was a guy in his sixties. Maybe if I were Zach . . .

I'm a woman and I suspect that my male friend has a crush on me. How do I deal with this?
Every guy who's a friend with a girl wants to bone her. Unless it's the gay guy friend. If a guy is friends with a girl and the girl ever wants to test it and say, "Let's sleep together," 100% of the time the guy will go for it.

So you don't think guys and girls can be platonic friends.
Put it this way. You know how many girls have said that's not true? And you know how many girls I've boned that started out as just friends? Next time Jennifer and I fight, you and me go to the movies.

31st July 2006 - 08:18:02 AM
78733 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, is it true that when you were at Bayside Belding once stole liquid nitrogen from Mr. Dewey's Science Class and told you it was some type of lubrication? Is it further true that Belding subsequently poured the liquid nitrogen on your tiny nut-sac until your nut-sac was frozen solid and then hit your frozen junk with a hammer, shattering it into a hundred tiny pieces? Did Belding rape you as you went into shock?

30th July 2006 - 11:35:08 PM
78725 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I have an important and serious question for you - if you suck off and rim Belding while he is intoxicated, can you get drunk by ingesting his semen and ass juice?

30th July 2006 - 11:06:05 PM
78724 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I saw part of your E! True Hollywood Stories - Saved By The Bell today! That show was obviously filmed a few years ago because you didn't look like the complete fatass that you look like today! I immediately whipped out my rod and started jerking off and immediately lost a few loads. I sat naked on my couch while tossing off. Unfortunately, however, my couch now smells like ass and I accidently got some semen on the couch cushions. Diamond, please tell me how to remove these stains, as I'm sure this has happend to you before!!

30th July 2006 - 05:21:38 PM
78720 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, do you have AIDS? If so, did you get turned on when you discovered your life sentence? I'm heard that some queers (known as "chasers") go out of their way to contract the deadly AIDS virus. Please get back to me soon!

28th July 2006 - 03:19:38 PM
78699 : Kurt
Spank material: http://www.celebrityscreensavers.com/images/mario.jpg

27th July 2006 - 05:11:45 PM
78683 : Kurt
Nikki, this article should answer any questions your might have about this website: http://wiki.ytmnd.com/Dustindiamond.com

27th July 2006 - 10:28:24 AM
78676 : Kurt
http://screechisabrokeloser.ytmnd.com/

27th July 2006 - 08:33:09 AM
78670 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, when thinking about what you life has become do you ever think about committing suicide?

25th July 2006 - 11:05:52 PM
78638 : Kurt Steinberg
Feel free to help gay it up. Here's what I already wrote:

"Dustindiamond.com
From YTMND wiki
Jump to: NAVIGATION, SEARCH

Parody website owned and operated by Max Goldberg, creator of YTMND. Dustindiamond.com was created in 2001. Within days of its creation, the guestbook on the website was taken over by Dustin Diamond's queer fanbase who began posting gay fantasies about Diamond. Many of the fantasies involved homosexual rapes and beatings of Diamond at the hands of Mr. Belding, A.C. Slater, and Screech's robot, "Kevin," all characters from the TV show "Saved By The Bell."

In 2003, Diamond attempted to take control of the domain dustindiamond.com. Diamond's legal counsel served Goldberg with a cease and desist order that was entirely unsuccessful. In 2004, the case was submitted to the National Arbitration Forum acting on behalf of the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN). Diamond's complaint was filled with statements that, in light of Dustin's current career, could be considered both exaggerated and amusing.

Diamond ultimately lost the suit despite the fact that Goldberg, then 21, represented himself. The decision read, in part, "The Panel accepts Respondent�s argument that the �outrageous ugly and low-tech graphics and numerous errors and misspellings� as well as the sheer absurdity of the site�s claim that Dustin Diamond is a �FAMOUS SUPERSTAR AND SEX SYMBOL� clearly signal that the site is not meant to be taken seriously. Whether the site is regarded as parody, satire, or critical commentary, and notwithstanding Respondent�s assertion that �[l]awyers are notoriously bad at understanding how humor works,� this Panel finds that legitimate noncommercial fair use commentary is involved."

The precedent-setting decision is believed to be the first time that a celebrity has lost a domain name dispute to a non-commercial parody site.[1]

Shortly after the decision Max Goldberg and his sister Lina issued a press release in which they mentioned their victory and advertised the upcoming release of the YTMND website. "

25th July 2006 - 10:44:57 PM
78636 : Kurt Steinberg
Check this out, fellow queers:
http://wiki.ytmnd.com/Dustindiamond.com

25th July 2006 - 08:57:48 AM
78630 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, is it true that Belding and Tuttle took you on a whitewater rafting trip in West Virginia shortly after you graduated from Bayside? I heard a rumor that you were accosted by a clan of inbred "moutain people" who proceeded to rape you while Belding and Tuttle jerked each other off! Is that true?

24th July 2006 - 11:35:59 PM
78623 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, is it true that Belding always "bellowed like a hippopotamus" when firing his seed down your throat? What's that all about? I need to drop a deuce in your jew-fro.

24th July 2006 - 10:21:12 PM
78622 : Kurt Steinberg
Rocco, that's a good plan. Another thing I would like to do is eat a huge bowl of Kraft macaroni and cheese and then go running 45 minutes later. I've done this in the past and I usually have to take a huge shit after about 25 minutes of running. Diamond, I'd like you to be there so that I can take a huge dump in your mouth!!! I will then sit on your forehead and give you a pair of Indian Goggles, leaving a nice dark and smelly "shit dot" on your forehead! I'll then use your huge jew fro to wipe my ass. It seems as though that is all you are good for - eating feces!!

- Kurt Steinberg

24th July 2006 - 02:19:55 PM
78613 : Kurt
Who wrote this???
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Dustin_Diamond

"Poor Guy
The guy is both pathetic and sad. All these interviewers and people that keep picking at him are going to drive him to suicide.

Looks like that's really the only option Diamond has at this point. At least it'll give him the oppurtunity to say hi to his mom."

24th July 2006 - 01:09:14 AM
78603 : Kurt Steinberg
Fellow faggots, have fun queering this up:

http://wiki.ytmnd.com/Dustin_Diamond

21st July 2006 - 01:09:36 PM
78581 : Kurt
Jennifer, I think that's pretty funny that Dustin's child is named "Zoinks Diamond."

21st July 2006 - 09:08:16 AM
78576 : Kurt
Diamond, I was wondering the other day what would happen to you if you were stranded out in the middle of nowhere on a desert island with Mr. Belding and a chimpanzee. Do you think that the chimp would get turned on watching Belding violate you? Chimps are intelligent primates, so maybe the chimp would learn to mimic Belding's moves and also violate you! Perhaps the chimp and Belding would eventually spit-roast you! Afterward, the chimp would probably take a dump and throw it at you, as I;ve seen them do at the zoo.

20th July 2006 - 12:54:57 AM
78555 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, did Belding used to jerk off into Arby's "Beef 'n Cheddar" sandwiches when you were at Bayside? Is that why you love them so much?

18th July 2006 - 04:41:27 PM
78539 : Kurt
"Robin asked Artie about what happened with Dustin ''Screech'' Diamond since he offered him a gig out in Pittsburgh. Artie said Dustin didn't show up because he had some other gig he was stuck in but he didn't call and let him know. Artie said he was fine with that and it gave him a few minutes of material for his show. "

http://www.marksfriggin.com/news06/7-17.htm

18th July 2006 - 11:07:30 AM
78538 : Kurt
From the Howard Stern website: "Artie reported a comedian he hired to open for him in Pittsburgh didn�t show up because he was filming an independent movie that night. "

http://www.howardstern.com/rundown.hs?d=1153119600

That little snippet links to this website!

Diamond's story about the independent film sounds like a bunch of b.s. to me!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Hot Queer Fantasy Involving Mr. Tuttle and Dustin Diamond

I found this nice queer fantasy written by arbys_shitpipe posted over at www.dustindiamondlove.com:

Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 6:24 pm Post subject: Backstage with Jack Angeles Recap

Hey Screech,

Remember the time you were having some pre-taping jitters so you decided you'd drop by Jack Angeles' dressing room and ask him if he had any advice on how to get rid of the nervousness? Remember how he said "Well, Screech, what I usually do to prepare.." Remember how in mid sentence his eyes rolled back? Remember how he began to emit a high pitched squealing sound? Remember how you approached to see what was wrong with him, when suddenly you froze with fear, as you saw he began to roll around on the floor masturbating vigorously? Remember how his high pitched squealing suddenly turned to fast paced, unintelligible gibberish? Remember how this quickly progressed to him speaking in all sorts of foreign sounding tongues? Remember how a portal opened up in the wall and a 12 foot, winged demon flew through it? Remember how the terrifying beast savagely battered and raped you? Remember how you then blacked out? Remember how you woke up 15 minutes later on the floor, feeling thoroughly beaten, looking up at what appeared to be a fresh load of semen on Jack's hands and around the crotch area of his pants? Remember how he said to you: "Screech, you just fell asleep and it looked like you were having a horrible nightmare"? Remember how you told him about the giant beast that attacked and raped you? Remember how he said "sure Screech, anyways, like I was saying, what i do to prepare for the show is usually to blow a load all over my hands and around the crotch area of my pants"? Remember how he then proceeded to lick the semen off his fingers and wink at you? You sure learned a lot about showbusiness that day.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Hot Gay "Remember When" Fantasy About Screech

I discovered this hot gay "remember when" fantasy involving Screech and Milo the janitor (from Good Morning Miss Bliss) over in the dustindiamond.com guestbook. Screech sured learned a valuable lesson in this story:

04th April 2005 - 01:56:27 PM
13026 : Maxwell Nerdstrom
Hey Screech, do you remember Milo the black janitor? Remember the time you were hanging out with me, Zack and Slater, and Milo came by, and Zack and Slater started calling him names because he was a total fucktard? Remember how, goaded on by Zack and Slater, you called Milo a 'big dumb jiggaboo' and a 'smelly black bastard'? Remember how Zack and Slater laughed, and we all went to class, but you started to feel really bad about what you'd said to Milo, so you went off to find him and apologise? Remember how you found him crying in the cafeteria? Remember how you put your arm around him and said you were really sorry? Remember how he looked up and smiled, and then started looking you up and down and licking his lips? Remember how he mumbled something about 'payback'? Remember how, before you could work out what he said, he started dragging you to the Janitor's closet, and then threw you inside? Remember how you hit your head on a shelf and lost consciousness? Remember how, when you came to, Milo was standing over you with his erect penis sticking out in front of him? Remember how it was the size of a Pringles can, and his testicles were as large as tennis balls? Remember how he lubed up his gargantuan member with engine oil, and said "now Milo's gon' get HIS"? Remember how he pulled you up by the afro, prised your jaws apart, slid his huge cock into your mouth and started throat-fucking you? Remember how his cock was too large for you mouth, and you felt your lips and jaw begin to tear, and your throat muscles being horribly damaged? Remember how your moans of pain made him think you were enjoying it, and he started saying things like "yeah, jus' like a white bitch" and "suck it harder, snowflake"? Remember how he kept saying "yeah, Milo likes dat shit"? Remember how, after a few minutes of horrible pain, Milo said "oh shit, Milo gots to CUMMMMM!!!!!" and bellowed like a hippopotamus? Remember how he unleashed a torrent of semen so vast and powerful it gushed down your throat like a sperm Niagra, destroying your damaged throat muscles? Remember how his load tasted like stale beer and rancid TV dinners, and it caused your stomach to swell like a balloon filling with water? Remember how, when he'd finally finished, he pulled out, and you fell to the floor, cough/vomiting semen and blood? Remember how you couldn't gag or speak properly because your throat had been destroyed? Remember how Milo tired of your horrible gurgling sounds, so he donkey-punched you unconscious and left, locking you in the closet? Remember how it was a week before anyone found you, half-dead and emaciated?

Remember how you had to endure months of painful surgery to repair the damage done by Milo's horse-cock, and on your return to school you went to Mr. Belding to tell him what had happened and to get Milo fired? Remember how Belding didn't fire Milo, because Milo had a history of psychosis and child molestation, and had done hard time, and as such was willing to work for next to nothing? Remember how Milo terrorized you for the rest of your school days? You know, I think Milo taught you an important lesson about respecting people of different ethnicities that day. PWNDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Dennis Haskins and His Son

I found this nice picture of Dennis Haskins and his son, Dustin Haskins, posted over at Dennis' wikipedia entry. Apparently Dennis is divorced and Dustin was born in 1990. Is it just me, or does Dustin Haskins bear a strong resemblance to a young Zack Morris?

Dustin Diamond started acting with Dennis Haskins back in 1987 on Good Morning Miss Bliss. I wonder if Dennis named his son after Dustin Diamond?




Edit - October 23, 2007

I've been hearing rumors that the kid in the photo above is unrelated to Dennis Haskins. Is it possible that Wikipedia is wrong for the first time ever? Does anyone know if that is really Dennis's son, Dustin?