Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Old posts from (part 16)

25th October 2006 - 10:25:44 AM
78770 : Kurt Steinberg
Dner and Ox, I vaugely remember seeing a re-run of that episode late at night on TBS a few years ago. Didn't Screech contract a nasty intestinal virus from Sleter's diseased feces?

24th October 2006 - 05:41:50 PM
78759 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, let's hook up for a hot lunch. I really want to eat some greasy Taco Bell food and then spray warm watery diarrhea right into your mouth!!! You must be creaming your pants right now just thinking about my tremendous offer. Let's get together! Pencil me in for the 10:30 PM slot behind the Exxon gas station in West Hollywood.

- Kurt Steinberg

24th October 2006 - 12:48:54 PM
78756 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, what happened to Chachi? Remmeber when he used to post here all of the time? Did you and he ever hook up and toss each other's salads? Please get back to me soon, buddy!

24th October 2006 - 12:53:03 AM
78747 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I have an important and serious question for you. Specifically, when I drop trow and sit naked on my my next door neighbor's couch while pleasuring myself to episodes of you on SBTB: The New Class, the couch starts to smell like ass after awhile. So my question for you is - does your bird chest smell like ass after a bunch of high school principals sit on it while tossing off? If so, how do you et rid of the smell?

24th October 2006 - 12:46:13 AM
78746 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, why did you take down this website for so many months? Is it because you were filming your gay porno? Stupid faggot!

31st July 2006 - 02:03:08 PM
78741 :
Gay this up:

31st July 2006 - 01:43:07 PM
78739 : Kurt
Check this out! Diamond actually does like to have sex in spas just like in my queer fantasy! For some reason, however, he doesn't mention being in a spa with a bunch of dudes piss, shitting, and jizzing - this article must have been heavily editted. Also, Diamond makes an innuedo that Zack is gay. It's odd that it's ok when he does it, but not ok when the queers who post here insinuate the same about him.

Dustin Diamond, 29

Dustin played Samuel "Screech" Powers on NBC's Saved by the Bell from the first episode (1989) to the last (1993). He went on to play Principal Belding's assistant in the spin-off, Saved by the Bell: The New Class. These days, Dustin has been utilizing his fame to raise enough money to keep his house � doing stand-up comedy, wrestling other celebrities and selling his own line of "D-shirts." Buy one of your own at

Did President Clinton's affair with Monica Lewinsky make oral sex more publicly acceptable?
Oral sex has always been acceptable. The bottom line is, regardless of your position, whether you're a plumber or a president, it doesn't matter. I think Clinton played it off well. From [in Clinton voice], "I did not have sexual relations with that woman," then all of sudden he's like, "Well, hey baby, you know!" He handled it well. I don't know why she kept the dress though.

My new girlfriend is coming over for the first time. What '90s movie should I rent to ensure that I get laid?
The girls I tend to go for like The Crow.

The Crow?
Yeah, The Crow. The romantic story, the tragic love story. They were going to get married. They were brutally assaulted. She ended up dying. He ended up dying, but his ghost couldn't rest. He went back and set the wrong things right. Fighting for justice and love and in the end he's still dead, so it's that sad, sad love story.

[To his girlfriend, Jennifer] What do you think is a romantic movie to bone by? There weren't a lot of good humping movies in the '90s. What about Sliver? Sliver is good. [To Jennifer] We're going to watch Sliver and bone tonight. We're going to tear it up. You're going to hear bones crack.

Would you ever watch a sex video of yourself?
Doesn't matter if you're an actor or not, guys can't videotape themselves having sex. And shouldn't. Inevitably, as a guy, you look at yourself and you're like, "Hey, yeah, all right! Check me out!" If you watch porn, the guys never do that. They never look at the camera.

Have you ever slept with a cast member or someone else on set?
I had my share of escapades on the set. I went for guest stars or the extras. Every week, we had thirty different extras. It was like a smorgasbord. If we didn't get along or things didn't work out, next week it was a new day. A new go.

What advice would you give me if I decide to start sleeping with someone I work with?
Unless you're going to marry and have kids with him, things are eventually and inevitably going to hit a standstill. Let's say someone new comes along and you want to hook up with him. Now this person is going to be jealous and it's going to cause discomfort. I say hook up with temps.

The girl I'm dating constantly brings up her ex in conversation. How can I get her to focus on the present?
You got to tap it so good that she falls asleep. If she doesn't fall asleep afterwards, you have no chance. Rock it to sleep, baby. My test is that I'll pop in a movie, but first get her down. If she can watch the movie afterward, I didn't do it right.

My boyfriend wants me to shower with him, but I'm self-conscious about my body. How is a girl to overcome this?
It's not her job to overcome it, it's the guy's job to help her overcome it. Make an effort to explore with your hands and head in those areas and make it okay. Also, he should talk about his beer gut. You're drawing the attention off of her. Laughter can make you comfortable.

To be slick, I always take a dip in a spa. The girl feels cool because she can sit down under the water and only her head is exposed. When the guy gets out, he should do the gentleman thing and hold the towel up for her. Hold it in front where you can't really see so she feels like it's a safety shield. Then you can bring the towel around the back. Don't wrap her around the front like a mummy, because then it's like you don't want to see her. Swing it around the back so that now she's totally exposed. Then take a shower to clean off the chlorine. Start out in the bathing suit and then those can come off in the shower.

You've done this before? The spa trick?
Oh yeah.

You have a lot of moves.
Yeah, I can write a book of moves. They're all tried and tested.

Where can I meet a guy for a summer fling?
Find a festival where bands are playing and people are drinking and dancing. Every place in the country has its own festival. Go to a place where people are going there specifically to hang out and watch a band. They want to be comfortable and still be available for options, should options appear. People are usually coming from out of town for festivals, staying in hotels that are usually within walking distance. Then they're gone when the festival is over.

Who was your dirtiest crush from the '90s?
I had a crush on Jennifer Connelly for a long time. She was in Career Opportunities. Her boobs were just huge. She looked like she was smuggling two hams. They looked like a midget mooning you. It was incredible. Then she did The Hot Spot. She was topless in that. I'd bone her even if my lady was in the room.

Do you have Screech stalkers?
I have Dustin Diamond stalkers. I have people who are fans of the show that show up � girls who have heard the legend of the D.

The eight-inch monster?

You didn't listen to that [Howard Stern] transcript did you?


Ten inches. Okay, good.
I have girls showing up and saying, "Ruin me." One of them, I don't know if she had all of her teeth. I mean, most of them were there.

She sounds special.
She had a chinstrap, but no helmet. It was very bizarre.

Have you ever slept with someone to climb the ranks in your industry? Would you recommend it?
I never had the opportunity. Our executive producer was a guy in his sixties. Maybe if I were Zach . . .

I'm a woman and I suspect that my male friend has a crush on me. How do I deal with this?
Every guy who's a friend with a girl wants to bone her. Unless it's the gay guy friend. If a guy is friends with a girl and the girl ever wants to test it and say, "Let's sleep together," 100% of the time the guy will go for it.

So you don't think guys and girls can be platonic friends.
Put it this way. You know how many girls have said that's not true? And you know how many girls I've boned that started out as just friends? Next time Jennifer and I fight, you and me go to the movies.

31st July 2006 - 08:18:02 AM
78733 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, is it true that when you were at Bayside Belding once stole liquid nitrogen from Mr. Dewey's Science Class and told you it was some type of lubrication? Is it further true that Belding subsequently poured the liquid nitrogen on your tiny nut-sac until your nut-sac was frozen solid and then hit your frozen junk with a hammer, shattering it into a hundred tiny pieces? Did Belding rape you as you went into shock?

30th July 2006 - 11:35:08 PM
78725 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I have an important and serious question for you - if you suck off and rim Belding while he is intoxicated, can you get drunk by ingesting his semen and ass juice?

30th July 2006 - 11:06:05 PM
78724 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I saw part of your E! True Hollywood Stories - Saved By The Bell today! That show was obviously filmed a few years ago because you didn't look like the complete fatass that you look like today! I immediately whipped out my rod and started jerking off and immediately lost a few loads. I sat naked on my couch while tossing off. Unfortunately, however, my couch now smells like ass and I accidently got some semen on the couch cushions. Diamond, please tell me how to remove these stains, as I'm sure this has happend to you before!!

30th July 2006 - 05:21:38 PM
78720 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, do you have AIDS? If so, did you get turned on when you discovered your life sentence? I'm heard that some queers (known as "chasers") go out of their way to contract the deadly AIDS virus. Please get back to me soon!

28th July 2006 - 03:19:38 PM
78699 : Kurt
Spank material:

27th July 2006 - 05:11:45 PM
78683 : Kurt
Nikki, this article should answer any questions your might have about this website:

27th July 2006 - 10:28:24 AM
78676 : Kurt

27th July 2006 - 08:33:09 AM
78670 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, when thinking about what you life has become do you ever think about committing suicide?

25th July 2006 - 11:05:52 PM
78638 : Kurt Steinberg
Feel free to help gay it up. Here's what I already wrote:

From YTMND wiki

Parody website owned and operated by Max Goldberg, creator of YTMND. was created in 2001. Within days of its creation, the guestbook on the website was taken over by Dustin Diamond's queer fanbase who began posting gay fantasies about Diamond. Many of the fantasies involved homosexual rapes and beatings of Diamond at the hands of Mr. Belding, A.C. Slater, and Screech's robot, "Kevin," all characters from the TV show "Saved By The Bell."

In 2003, Diamond attempted to take control of the domain Diamond's legal counsel served Goldberg with a cease and desist order that was entirely unsuccessful. In 2004, the case was submitted to the National Arbitration Forum acting on behalf of the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN). Diamond's complaint was filled with statements that, in light of Dustin's current career, could be considered both exaggerated and amusing.

Diamond ultimately lost the suit despite the fact that Goldberg, then 21, represented himself. The decision read, in part, "The Panel accepts Respondent�s argument that the �outrageous ugly and low-tech graphics and numerous errors and misspellings� as well as the sheer absurdity of the site�s claim that Dustin Diamond is a �FAMOUS SUPERSTAR AND SEX SYMBOL� clearly signal that the site is not meant to be taken seriously. Whether the site is regarded as parody, satire, or critical commentary, and notwithstanding Respondent�s assertion that �[l]awyers are notoriously bad at understanding how humor works,� this Panel finds that legitimate noncommercial fair use commentary is involved."

The precedent-setting decision is believed to be the first time that a celebrity has lost a domain name dispute to a non-commercial parody site.[1]

Shortly after the decision Max Goldberg and his sister Lina issued a press release in which they mentioned their victory and advertised the upcoming release of the YTMND website. "

25th July 2006 - 10:44:57 PM
78636 : Kurt Steinberg
Check this out, fellow queers:

25th July 2006 - 08:57:48 AM
78630 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, is it true that Belding and Tuttle took you on a whitewater rafting trip in West Virginia shortly after you graduated from Bayside? I heard a rumor that you were accosted by a clan of inbred "moutain people" who proceeded to rape you while Belding and Tuttle jerked each other off! Is that true?

24th July 2006 - 11:35:59 PM
78623 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, is it true that Belding always "bellowed like a hippopotamus" when firing his seed down your throat? What's that all about? I need to drop a deuce in your jew-fro.

24th July 2006 - 10:21:12 PM
78622 : Kurt Steinberg
Rocco, that's a good plan. Another thing I would like to do is eat a huge bowl of Kraft macaroni and cheese and then go running 45 minutes later. I've done this in the past and I usually have to take a huge shit after about 25 minutes of running. Diamond, I'd like you to be there so that I can take a huge dump in your mouth!!! I will then sit on your forehead and give you a pair of Indian Goggles, leaving a nice dark and smelly "shit dot" on your forehead! I'll then use your huge jew fro to wipe my ass. It seems as though that is all you are good for - eating feces!!

- Kurt Steinberg

24th July 2006 - 02:19:55 PM
78613 : Kurt
Who wrote this???

"Poor Guy
The guy is both pathetic and sad. All these interviewers and people that keep picking at him are going to drive him to suicide.

Looks like that's really the only option Diamond has at this point. At least it'll give him the oppurtunity to say hi to his mom."

24th July 2006 - 01:09:14 AM
78603 : Kurt Steinberg
Fellow faggots, have fun queering this up:

21st July 2006 - 01:09:36 PM
78581 : Kurt
Jennifer, I think that's pretty funny that Dustin's child is named "Zoinks Diamond."

21st July 2006 - 09:08:16 AM
78576 : Kurt
Diamond, I was wondering the other day what would happen to you if you were stranded out in the middle of nowhere on a desert island with Mr. Belding and a chimpanzee. Do you think that the chimp would get turned on watching Belding violate you? Chimps are intelligent primates, so maybe the chimp would learn to mimic Belding's moves and also violate you! Perhaps the chimp and Belding would eventually spit-roast you! Afterward, the chimp would probably take a dump and throw it at you, as I;ve seen them do at the zoo.

20th July 2006 - 12:54:57 AM
78555 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, did Belding used to jerk off into Arby's "Beef 'n Cheddar" sandwiches when you were at Bayside? Is that why you love them so much?

18th July 2006 - 04:41:27 PM
78539 : Kurt
"Robin asked Artie about what happened with Dustin ''Screech'' Diamond since he offered him a gig out in Pittsburgh. Artie said Dustin didn't show up because he had some other gig he was stuck in but he didn't call and let him know. Artie said he was fine with that and it gave him a few minutes of material for his show. "

18th July 2006 - 11:07:30 AM
78538 : Kurt
From the Howard Stern website: "Artie reported a comedian he hired to open for him in Pittsburgh didn�t show up because he was filming an independent movie that night. "

That little snippet links to this website!

Diamond's story about the independent film sounds like a bunch of b.s. to me!

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