Old posts from DustinDiamond.com (part 18)

05th December 2006 - 11:36:27 PM

79208 : Kurt Steinberg

Dner, I hear you. Some people just don't understand the queer lifestyle and how piss, shit, and HIV+ semen is an intergral part of our lives. I've also participated in piss and shit parties over the years. However, you should consider purchasing a spa. Spas are great because you can dose off in them while piss, shit, and semen is floating around in the water with you! Diamond apparently agrees: http://www.dustindiamondfoundation.com/dustinjennhottub.jpg

05th December 2006 - 06:04:10 PM

79204 : Kurt Steinberg

Dner, drop a deuce on one of those dudes for me. It kind of reminds me of when I was in college and had a roommate. My roommate and I were having a fued - he was being a little bitch and kept complaining because I wanted to watch gay porn all day and fire my loads on the floor. (He slipped on one during the spring semester and was so pissed at me!) Anyway, I slept on the top bunk and he slept on the bottom bunk. During the last day of the spring sememster I had already moved out all of my stuff to my car to drive home and then I suck back into the room where my roommate was taking a nap after his last final exam. I had just eatne Taco Bell and quietly dropped my pants and then positioned my butthole right above my roommate's head and unleashed a diarrhea tsunami of epic queer proportions! I quickly ran out of the room as my roommate was quite pissed when he woke up and discovered chunks of shit in his eyes. He transferred to a different college for the next semester and I never saw him again. :(

05th December 2006 - 05:20:51 PM

79201 : Kurt Steinberg

Dner, you must prod Fagbusters to acquire Internet access. I think that most of the queers who post here miss his condemnations of our dangerous homosexual lifestyles.

05th December 2006 - 04:21:38 PM

79200 : Kurt Steinberg

What does 1337 mean? Is that some kind of nerd code? Please refrain from using terminology that most of Diamond's queer fans don't understand.

05th December 2006 - 09:36:16 AM

79195 : Kurt Steinberg

Dner, what happened to Fagbusters? He rarely posts anymore.

04th December 2006 - 11:50:43 PM

79185 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, I want to play a game with you. It's called the "Kurt Steinberg game." The rules of this game are simple - you need to ingest everything that comes out of my asshole, whether it be diarrhea, a meaty turd, or a gerbal. If you fail to ingest something, I'll kick you in the junk with steel-toed boots. If you guess correctly, on the other hand, I'll reward you by sodomizing you with a softball bat. Are you interested in playing this game with me?

04th December 2006 - 05:58:11 PM

79183 : Kurt Steinberg

arbys shitpipe, I remember reading Goldberg's response to Diamond's appeal in the UDRP arbitration action. Goldberg actually wrote this: "The complaint is without merit. It is a heavy-handed attempt to use money and celebrity�albeit an exceedingly limited kind of celebrity�to suppress artistic freedom and the well-established First Amendment right to create and disseminate parodies of those who are famous, powerful or otherwise in the public eye. This right has been defended by ICANN itself, which specifies that use of domains for parody purposes is in fact a good faith use." "Mr. Goldberg created dustindiamond.com in 2001 as an insightful parody of the growing social phenomenon of �has-been-itis.� The site makes fun of the increasingly common spectacle of minor celebrities clinging to the vestiges of their fame long after their moment in the spotlight has passed. An integral component of his parody installation is the wide array of voices�from the public at large�in the free speech forum provided by the site guest book." http://www.dustindiamond.com/udrp/Official_Response.pdf

04th December 2006 - 09:35:40 AM

79177 : Kurt Steinberg

Double D, please enlighten us. How exactly are you going to collect IP addresses (not ISPs) when you aren't the owner of this website and the real owner, Max Goldberg, apparently hates you? You already got your ass handed to you in 2004 by the UDRP arbitration board, are you thirsty for more? You do realize that you'll have to subpoena the IP addresses of the people who post here, don't you? Courts don't simply hand those over absent a strong showing that you have a cause of action against people who post here. So what's your cause of action "Double D"? Oh wait, you don't hace one, do you?

04th December 2006 - 08:43:48 AM

79175 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, let's hook up soon. I want to share a romantic kiss with you. Actually, I want you to kiss my asshole right when a meaty turd is being expelled. You must be creaming your pants just thinking about this tremendous offer! Let's get together.

01st December 2006 - 11:27:19 AM

79157 : Kurt Steinberg

Screech, I watching the Spice channel the other day when I saw the classic Saved By The Bell episode where Belding raped you for the first time. It was in that episode where you first said "zoinks." About every 5 seconds you yelled out "zoinks" while Belding had his fun. You were saying "zoinks...zoinks...zoinks...zoinks...zoinks...zoinks" while Belding yanked on your jew-fro and pounded away on you.

01st December 2006 - 09:27:45 AM

79155 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, thank you for finally bringing back your website. I was so disappointed last week when I couldn't find any hot Diamond-related queer spank material. I'm ashamed to say that I almost broke down and had sex with a woman. You must be disappointed in me. :(

22nd November 2006 - 09:57:09 AM

79135 : Kurt Steinberg

Deucer, I loved all of the episodes where Uncle Leo had sex with Jerry. Do you remember the episode where Newman took a shit in Jerry's sink and Uncle Leo rubbed it all over his bald head? Kramer held a knife to Jerry's throat and made Jerry lick clean Uncle Leo's head! I shot my load across the room when I saw that scene.

20th November 2006 - 05:57:06 PM

79117 : Kurt Steinberg

This clip is even better than the previous one. Screech almost cries when the radio host plays a clip from another stand-up comic who goes off about what a crappy comic Screech is. Screech is on the line with his R&B singer friend named "Fabian." the radio hosts go off on what a homo Screech's friend Fabian is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otWVPRV18IA

20th November 2006 - 05:41:55 PM

79116 : Kurt Steinberg

Watch this video of Diamond talking about his sex video. You can totally tell he's lying his ass off when he says he is not behind its distribution and that it took place 4 years ago. He also claims that he doesn't even remember where the video was recorded. His heffer actually looks pretty embarassed about the whole deal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12c6zGBHwE8

20th November 2006 - 04:52:42 PM

79114 : Kurt Steinberg

This could use a good queering: http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Saved_by_the_Bell#Screech_Powers

17th November 2006 - 05:10:35 PM

79086 : Kurt Steinberg

Check this out: http://www.tv.com/celebrity-fit-club/show/20431/celebrity-fit-club-5/topic/9524-298273/msgs.html According to that forum, Diamond's chunky ass is supposed to appear on Celebrity Fit Club 5. Imagine how much spank fodder his appearance will provide for all of the queers who post here! Is there any doubt that Diamond will "dork it up" on that show?

17th November 2006 - 02:46:35 PM

79084 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, is it true that Mr. Belding was a substitute teacher for your Bayside Science class one time in the early 1990s when Mr. Dewey was sick? Is it further true that Belding was teaching a class on optics and refraction? I seem to recall that he took the whole class outside on a sunny April day and made you drop your pants and lie on the ground. He then pulled out a magnifying lens and positioned it to focus light from the sun's rays directly onto your ding dong. The focused light acted much like a laser and quickly lit your wang on fire and smoke came off your brunging flesh. That was a cool episode.

16th November 2006 - 11:45:37 PM

79069 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamondcutter, I'll get working on a dirty sanchez program for Kevin the Robot. I don't know who wrote the first program I posted below, but it wasn't me. Maybe it was Deucer?

16th November 2006 - 06:52:28 PM

79062 : Kurt Steinberg

Those routines were obviously written for Kevin the Robot, not me.

16th November 2006 - 06:45:51 PM

79061 : Kurt Steinberg

Bzzzt!!! Bzzzt!!! Screech, I found some old program code for the sodomy routines you wrote for me. Bzzzt!!! First program: > INITIATE SODOMY MODE > TARGET="SCREECH" > SPEECH MODE - SAY "MUST SODOMIZE SCREECH" > REPEAT > LOCATE AND DETAIN TARGET > TARGET HELD > IGNORE PROTESTATIONS OF TARGET > INITIATE ERECTION PROCEDURE > PROCEDURE COMPLETE > COMMENCE INSERTION > THRUST > WITHDRAW > THRUST > WITHDRAW > THRUST > WITHDRAW > THRUST > SPEECH MODE "ZOINKS...I'M GONNA CUM!" > COMMENCE EJACULATION PROCEDURE > COMMENCE EJECTION OF WASTE LIQUIDS > PROCEDURE COMPLETE > DONKEY-PUNCH TARGET > INITIATE CIGARETTE-SMOKING MODE Second program: 100 //COMMENT: THIS PROGRAM INITIATES A HOT SCAT AND RAPE MODE// 105 //COMMENT: � 2005, KURT STEINBERG// 110 ACTIVATE METAL CLAWS 115 //COMMENT: FECES ACQUISITION SUBROUTINE// 120 TARGET = SLATER 125 ANNOUNCE "MUST ACQUIRE DIARRHEA SPECIMEN FROM SLATER" 130 DETAIN TARGET WITH METAL CLAWS 135 FORCE BURRITOS AND EX-LAX DOWN TARGET'S THROAt 140 REMOVE TARGET'S BAGGY ACID-WASHED JEANS 145 INSERT FUNNEL BELOW TARGET'S BUTTHOLE 150 COLLECT DIARRHEA SPECIMEN FROM TARGET 155 STORE DIARRHEA SPECIMEN IN METAL CHEST 160 //COMMENT: FECES ACQUISITION COMPLETE// 165 TARGET = SCREECH 170 ENTER HIBERNATE MODE 175 DARKNESS DETECTED? 180 IF NO, GOTO 175 182 IF YES, GOTO 185 185 //COMMENT: DARKNESS DETECTED, TIME TO ATTACK SLEEPING SCREECH// 190 ROLL OVER TO SIDE OF TARGET'S BED 195 GRAB TARGET'S GONZO NOSE WITH 1ST METAL CLAW 200 IGNORE CRIES FOR HELP FROM TARGET 205 CUT THROUGH TARGET'S ZUBAZ WITH 2ND METAL CLAW 210 ERECT AND EXTEND METAL PENIS 215 BOUNCE TARGET UP AND DOWN ON METAL PENIS 220 RECTAL BLEEDING DETECTED? 225 IF NO, GOTO 215 230 IF YES, EJACULATE OILY LOAD INTO TARGET 235 PULL TARGET ONTO FLOOR 240 EJECT STORED DIARRHEA SPECIMEN ONTO TARGET'S POOFY AFRO 245 PICK UP TARGET WITH METAL CLAWS AND THROW DOWN STAIRS 250 ENTER HIBERNATE MODE 255 END

16th November 2006 - 05:01:54 PM

79059 : Kurt Steinberg

Look at this picture of Diamond. Diamond appears to be locked up in some kind of cage or make-shift prison at Belding's home: http://legionsofthenight.com/dustinand13h.jpg

16th November 2006 - 04:55:44 PM

79058 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, you look like a total fat-ass and your jew-fro looks really oily in this photo: http://www.meetin.org/files/news/7650.JPG

16th November 2006 - 12:31:57 AM

79048 : Kurt Steinberg

Renee, this website is for queer fans of Dustin Diamond. There are many demented homosexuals who grew up watching Saved By The Bell while jerking off to Screech. I personally would like to meet Diamond face-to-face in a spa. He could reminisce about the old days until I get tired and then take a shit in the spa. I would then get out and piss in Diamond's jew-fro and fart in his mouth while Diamond attempts to evade the turds that are floating all around him.

15th November 2006 - 03:19:57 PM

79042 : Kurt Steinberg

Check this out: http://www.marksfriggin.com/news06/11-13.htm "Dustin Diamond's Home Sex Tape Clips. 11/13/06. 9:50am After that Howard said he finally saw the home porn movie that Dustin ''Screech'' Diamond was in. He said he thought that he was going to see a huge penis in the clip but when he saw the movie he didn't think it was all that big. JD came in and said he saw the movie but it appeared to have a huge head on it but an average length. Howard said he's got about 6 inches himself and Screech's didn't look much bigger than his. Howard said he thinks that Screech is about 6 1/2 inches, that's it. Howard described what he saw in the movie. He said the chicks were kind of cute. He played some audio clips from the movie where Screech was asking the girls some questions about what they have pierced and if he can see their boobs. He got one of the girls to pull up her top. He had to beg the girl to show him. Howard said there was a lot of talking during that movie. Screech asked the girls if they wanted to see his monster. One girl said she wanted to see it so he had her ''take the beast out.'' He then had her ''go to work'' on him. JD said that there's a lot of that going on in the movie and there's no cum shot or anything. Fred played JD's techno theme song as the guys goofed on him about that comment. Artie said he's never watched a porno and asked where the cum is. JD said that some guys want to see that kind of thing. JD walked out after that. Howard played another clip where Screech was talking as two girls were getting it on. He wouldn't shut up and Howard said he's just like his character Screech in the movie and it's no wonder people don't want to sleep with him. "

15th November 2006 - 10:11:18 AM

79037 : Kurt Steinberg

I saw this post at http://www.glamsu.com/bulletin/YaBB.cgi/YaBB.cgi?board=SU;action=display;num=1163424888 : Posts: 25 Re: Screech � Reply #7 on: Nov 14th, 2006, 2:20pm � Quote Modify -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There have been rumours, started by the Mississippi Journal Sentinal that the whole thing was a hoax anyway because the money he's raised so far for his house (as he said himself on Sunday night) hasn't been recieved by his creditors yet

15th November 2006 - 10:04:35 AM

79036 : Kurt Steinberg

Deucer, that's a great find. It's funny that Diamond now tries to sell his porn during his visits to college campuses. I'd be shocked if anyone bought a copy. Seriously, how embarassed would you be if you actually tried to buy porn directly from Diamond?

14th November 2006 - 03:25:56 PM

79024 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, please contact IMDB and ask them to stop deleting posts. Too many hot posts on the boards for you, Michael Oliver, Chris Burke, and toher boards have been deleted recently. In fact, just yesterday I posted a serious question on the "Harold and Maude" board. I simply asked whether the 80-year old granny in that movie gave the young 20-year kid a rusty trombone. The IMDB fascists deleted that post for some unknown reason!

14th November 2006 - 11:58:47 AM

79021 : Kurt Steinberg

Diamond, I was watching "Prison Break" yesterday and there was a scene where the old ex-prison guard was about to pay a call girl $750 to give him a Cleveland Steamer. Since you're running low on cash, I bet you'd allow an old man to give you a Cleveland Steamer for a mere $15!

14th November 2006 - 10:58:32 AM

79020 : Kurt Steinberg

Rocco, it would be pretty hot if Belding fired Screech out of the space shuttle without a space suit. I'd bet that Belding would be vigoruously jerking off while Diamond's eyes explode and the rest of his body puffs up as it adjusts to zero atmospheric pressure and Diamond becomes asphyxiated in the vacuum of outer space! Maybe some martians would rescue Diamond and take them on board their mother ship for an anal probe. Perhaps they would add Diamond to their intergallactic zoo?