I recently discovered an hilarious episode of Life Goes On entitled "Loaded Question." In the episode, Corky's dad gave Corky a handgun. Corky's mom and his annoying sister, Becca, were upset about the gun because they thought that guns were dangerous. When Corky's mom asked how Corky felt about the gun, he said that he didn't like the gun, either, because it was too small!
A black guy who worked with Corky's hot older sister was snooping around the back of the house one night and Corky opened fire and tried to shoot him! The only thing that saved the black guy was the fact that Corky was unbelievably uncoordinated. You might recognize the black guy from the Rocky movies, where he played "Duke," a trainer of Apollo Creed and then Rocky Balboa.
29 comments:
That was an awesome episode! Not only did Corky's dad give him a gun, he also gave Corky a big box of bullets! Look at the red box in the first screen cap
Hey everybody, apparently there was actually episode where Corky met up with a hooker and may have lost his virginity!!!
This is a summary of "Corky's Travels," from season 2, episode 17. A summmary of the episode is as follows:
"Corky gets lost and wanders around the mean streets of Chicago. He meets a kindhearted, young hooker who gives him his first sexual experience-essentially a few long kisses. ( The episode is intentionally vague over whether they went further.) Corky is shadowed (and mystically guided) throughout the evening by a semi-mythic blues singer, the great Leon Redbone. Becca and Tyler spend a rainy, frustrated evening driving around Chicago looking for Corky, and end up smooching in the car. This episode was filmed mostly in black and white."
https://trakt.tv/shows/life-goes-on/seasons/2/episodes/17
Corky was such a stud - between shooting guns, burning down restaurants, using hookers, and shitting in his kitchen sink, Corky provided endless entertainment!!!
The hooker storyline should have a recurring theme. I think that Corky would have played an excellent street pimp for the hooker and would have used his handgun to keep his hoes in line and walking the streets for him. Screech could have played another one of his street-walkers and Corky would slap Screech around for comic relief.
Toilet Clogger, that’s an amazing idea. I for one was disgusted at how Corky wasn’t given any good parts after Life Goes On. He only had bit parts on shows he happened to wonder on their sets and no one wanted to tell him he couldn’t be in the show. That’s how he got the part on SBTB the New Class! I would have loved it If Corky had a show or movie where he ran a stable of girls and was always outsmarting the local police. Having Screech as a street walker that earned so little money Corky had to use his pimp hand on him would have provided a ton of comic relief!
If Corky had been given the chance he would have become the most beloved and highest paid actor of all times. I feel he could have been the star of many movie franchises, like the Jason Bourne movies, Mission impossible series, and many other action films. He would easily seduce all men and women while taking a dump in a kitchen sink would be his calling card known world wide. Name a movie that wouldn’t be better with Corky starring in it? You can’t. Jim Carey has 0 comedic talent compared to Corky. Corky could have done ever role he did but 100 times better. Corky is known to ad lib a nice shit scene, or crash a car through a house totally unscripted. That’s what people demand and want! I fear it’s now to late, as Corky is getting old and seems settled in to live with A a Rod and his best friend ever Mr. B. Eating pizza and honing his belching and farting skills. He is an amazing man who Hollywood let down. Just picture him in a romantic comedy, charming some young lass with a peek at his mighty package through tight fitting pants, and then making her swoon when she finds he’s left a farewell shit in her kitchen sink. What magic! Hollywood needs to see if Corky is still willing to make them billions and provide his fans the movies they desire!
Corky Lover, you are absolutely right about Corky not getting a chance to shine as a movie star. Even the show created for him, “Life Goes On,” didn’t make full use of his talents. The first two seasons focused on him before the show shifted toward storylines involving his annoying sister and the guy with AIDS whom she dated. Is it any wonder that the ratings dropped and so many people stopped watching, resulting in the show’s cancellation? I would have preferred to see Corky taking Driver’s Ed again, burning down more buildings, and shooting guns.
Corky would have been perfectly suited for “Dumb and Dumber” where he could have improved his role and hilarity would have ensued. That movie helped make Jim Carrey a star, but Corky could have taken the role to another level.
Why wasn’t Corky ever cast as a policeman? At a minimum, that could be a sitcom which writes itself! Anytime Corky is carrying a gun, you can’t hall but smile and laugh because you know something hilarious is about to happen. It is a shame that Screech is no longer with us - he would have been a great partner for Detective Corky. I could see Corky training his rookie partner, Screech, and getting really angry whenever Screech did something stupid or annoying. Corky would frequently end up ass-raping partner Screech to teach him an important lesson!
I’m surprised that the Biden administration isn’t using photos of Corky with a gun as part of their campaign to ban guns. Is there anyone on earth who thinks that ‘tards being allowed to carry loaded guns is a good idea?
Phil, that’s a very insensitive comment! Corky had every right to protect his stuff and his home. That bandit was likely going to steal his bike, or he would have knocked on the front door like a sane person. I for one think Corky should be allowed to carry a gun. I was also thinking that if only Screech were alive an amazing and erotic reboot of Miami Vice would be in order. Corky would play Crockett, and Screech would play Tubbs. Corky would constantly be crashing into things with his police car, and would likely fire off his weapon at least 10 times per episode. The only thing Screech would be good at would be going undercover as an unpaid bathroom attendant at various known queer spots across Miami. Corky would catch Screech doing a crappy job and would ass rape him to teach him a lesson about good police work.
I want to make love to Screech while Corky fires off a massive gun like Dirty Harry carried. I’d like to pretend I’m in a cops and robbers TV show, and Corky and Screech were Cops. I would make sweet love to Screech ‘s butthole when I caught him undercover as an unpaid bathroom intern at a local truck stop. This would infuriate Corky who would yell at Screech, shoot his gun at him, then help me buttslam Screech as punishment. Please come back to life Screech. My penis misses you!
I think it would have been really cool to have punched Screech in the balls and then when he fell over, to drop my pants and spray diarrhea into his mouth. Officer Corky then happens upon Screech and writes him a ticket for littering because some of the diarrhea fell out of his mouth and onto the ground. When Screech protests that he is Corky's police partner, Corky gets mad and tell Screech he needs to study the law and that he is a terrible rooking police officer. Corky then ass-rapes Screech for wasting his time. That would have been a fantastic pilot episode for "Corky & Screech - Police Officers," an hilarious sitcom!
Ass Breath, I love where you’re going with this. I think it would be hysterical if they let Corky have a ridiculously over sized handgun, while Screech would have a little pink BB gun that he had to pump up with air to shoot. Corky would constantly be shooting at bad guys and yelling at Screech for carrying such a girly weapon. I could also see Screech being taken hostage in pretty much every episode.
Pops, I have liked to have seen an episode of Corky’s policeman sitcom where he plays a prank on rookie officer, Screech. Corky plants some of Mylo the Janitor’s crack cocaine in Screech’s locker at the police station. Screech is arrested and when he says it isn’t his crack, Corky slaps Screech in the face and throws him in solitary confinement! In the solitary cell, the room is completely sealed, there are no windows, and the walls are solid without any bars. The is a front door and a little slot which opens to allow food to be provided to Screech. Once in the solitary cell, Screech keeps saying “Zoinks!” and asks for some food because he’s hungry. The slot opens eventually and Screech assumed he was going to be handed a tray of food - instead, Corky had pressed his bare ass against the slot and ripped a loud, smelly fart! Then the police commissioner, Mr. Belding, does the same and rips ass through the slot. This scene goes on fir several more minutes as Screech begs to be let out so he can breathe fresh air. Corky then says, “I hope you liked your meal!” and then closed the slot, trapping Screech in the solitary cell with the rank farts. Corky and Mr. Belding then fall over laughing while Screech sobs in the cell. At the end of the episode, the solitary cell is opened and Screech is allowed to leave as Belding and Corky tell Screech it was just a prank and that they got him good! Screech got angry and started yelling about the mistreatment and Corky got irritated and punched Screech in the balls before yanking down his pants and raping him while Mr. Belding ate a couple slices of pizza he found in a garbage can!
Ass Breath, I could absolutely see Corky as a detective, with Mr. B as the commissioner. Screech would for some reason be an unpaid police intern. Pretty much the entire show would revolve around Corky investigating Screech for being a deranged faggot or for some infraction regarding his performance. This would result in Screech being regularly locked up for part of each episode, during which he would be subjected to a hot box of Corky and Mr. B ripping ass into his cell, then buttslamming him. Of course in the last few minutes of each episode Corky would get to the real work of solving crimes by shooting a few bad guys, and solving like 10 murder cases. He then would finish each episode by hooking up with some insanely hot model. They would then show Screech in a tiny apartment furnished with shoddy Zubaz furniture and a huge turd in his jewfro.
Hello all. I am an executive with a large movie studio. I have been assigned to ensure we stay up with these progressive times, and instead of the usual cliche of throwing in a black main character or a few queers, I have decided that movies need more ‘tards. I have looked for the perfect project and have decided to remake the movie “Rudy” using a ‘tard. Although Corky is in his mid 50’s I believe he would be perfect. America would fall in love with a retard with a monster dong working his way into Notre Dame and then their football team. Hilarity would be everywhere as Corky would go dookie in the shower, forget to wear his helmet, and generally create non stop laughter while people fall in love with his character. What do you guys think? It’s sad that Screech guy died as he could have been a water boy who also serviced Corky’s penis and ass needs in the locker room. That would really have brought in the flaming gay crowd.
Studio Executive, it is time for a 'tard revolution. Normal people do not support the demented 'trans movement pushed by mentally ill people. However, everyone supports 'tards because their crazy antics bring us all so much joy. I would love to see "The Natural" rebooted with Corky as the baseball player, Roy Hobbs. How about another Indiana Jones movie with Corky in the starring role? It is also time for "Escape from Alcatraz" where Corky plays a prisoner who escapes and it would be nice to cast someone who looks like Screech as Corky's cell-mate. Corky makes the Screech his bitch and has him turning tricks inside the clink!
Pops, Screech would be a volunteer/unpaid rookie cop or an unpaid intern. It would be important to make it clear that Screech’s character does not receive a salary as that makes him look like an even bigger loser. Corky, on the other hand, will be a highly compensated officer and in his free time, he will blow his money at strip clubs and on hookers and candy.
Screech would definitely live in a crappy apartment filled with Zubaz brand furniture. In one episode, he invites Corky and Mr. Belding to his apartment for a spaghetti dinner. While eating, Mr. Belding ripped a fart so powerful that the back of the Zubaz brand chair on which he is sitting disintegrates and he falls onto the floor. Corky is mortified and angry at Screech for having such inferior furniture and ass-rapes Screech to teach him a lesson in etiquette!
Corky needs to have an episode in his policeman sitcom where he pistol-whips volunteer rookie officer Screech. I imagine that Corky asks Screech for an M&M and then gets mad when Screech accidentally drops the M&M on the floor and says "Ooopsie" in his retarded Screechy voice. Corky then smacks Screech in the face with his gun and then grabs Screech by the Jew-fro and slams Screech's face into the dashboard! Corky then stops the car and pulls down his pants and diaper before ripping a wet fart in Screech's face - he has his bare ass so close that Screech's hook nose is in his ass crack when he unleashes the epic fart!!!
I think these ideas are amazing, and the idea that a new police show with Corky, Mr. B, and. Screech clone, needs to be created. This would be an instant hit world wide. I can picture Screech being taken hostage in some fashion in most episodes. In other episodes he will get shot, run over, beat up, be forced to join a gang of deranged homosexual bank robbers, etc. Corky and Mr. B will blame Screech for each incident. During hostage negotiations Corky and Mr. B will yell at Screech through a megaphone, then belch and rip ass into it. When the criminals holding Screech hostage are finally arrested they also arrest Screech for being stupid, and toss him in an interrogation room that is actually a tiny closet. The only interrogation that then takes place is them ripping ass into the room then quickly closing the door while Screech yells Zoinks.
I went clubbing with Corky at some dance clubs in Los Angeles back in the mid-1990s. Corky was an ultra-stud and total ladies man! I saw him grind up on some hot babes and would rub his crotch against their asses and then loved it. Even through he was wearing a thick diaper which was soaked with a day's worth of urine and was holding a couple pounds of dookie, the ladies could definitely feel his monster dong rubbing against them. I remember one time, he took a 6-ft tall model with him into an alley behind a club and started having sex with her next to a dumpster. All of a sudden, he heard someone utter "Zoinks!" and looked over and saw Mr. Belding having anal sex with Screech on the side of the dumpster! Mr. Belding was really giving it to Screech, right in the ass. Corky when pulled out of the model and told her to get lost. Corky then teamed up with Mr. Belding to spitroast Screech! Corky and Mr. Belding became joined at the hip from then on and would frequently use Screech's orifices to satisfy their sexual needs!!!
Jerry, what an awesome story! I wonder why the Big Bopper and Screech were lurking behind that club? Perhaps is was date night and Mr. B wanted to show Screech a good time by taking him to one of LA’s hottest clubs? It must have been funny when they got there and instead of going in Mr. B took Screech around back to the dumpsters then buttslammed him! Those clubs must have been in their heyday when a total stud like Corky patronized them. Just imagine the star power when Corky walked in, followed by Mr. Belding and the kid from Small Wonder! Hopefully if we can get this cop show going Corky and Mr. B will return to LA and might even check out a few of their old haunts!
Does anyone have a copy of “Fart Patrol”? I know it was never released, but am aware of bootleg copies circulating within the dumpster crowd for years now. If anyone is unaware it starred Corey Haim and Screech as weirdo detectives who take cases involving people who fart. A scene I recall is them lurking at a bowling alley for no real reason, and just wait until some fat slob rips a nice fart. They then jump out and yell “fart patrol”. I’ve heard Mr. B and Corky have cameo’s as well as the guy who played Ralph Mouth on Happy Days. Hey Studio Executive, that could be your first big deal. Get Fart Patrol finished and released. The queers of this country demand it! It would also be an amazing way to honor the legacies of both Screech and Corey Haim! I need to if rumors of an erotic rest stop scene are accurate!
Pancho, I remember reading about Fart Patrol years ago but didn’t realize that it had been even partially filmed - I assume it was still in the development stage.
I would like to see an “Unsolved Mysteries” reboot which focuses on figuring out who stunk up a bathroom at a place of work it took a dump in a sink. In a potential episode, Screech is sitting on a packed train and someone rips ass, stinking it up. Screech then tries figuring out who was the culprit. Screech starts questioning passengers one by one while wearing a Sherlock Holmes type of hat while also holding a big pipe like Sherlock Holmes. The other passengers get irritated by Screech’s annoying questions and kick his ass before raping him as everyone on the train car either cheers or rubs one out!
I was on my way to Las Vegas back in 2005 and stopped at a rest area in Reno to take a piss. When I walked in, I was amazed to see Screech from Saved by the Bell - he was wearing those fruity clothes he wore on the show and has a gigantic greasy Jew-fro. He asked whether I needed anything and I said I was fine. I walked up to a urinal and started peeing and then Screech said that I looked like I worked out and I think he must have been staring at my ass. He then said that it sounded like I was taking one hell of a piss. I went accidentally ripped a 5-second fart and he started clapping and said that I was an expert farter and obviously had practice at it. I told him to shut up and leave me alone. Then I ripped another 4-second fart which smelled pretty rank. All of a sudden I felt something press against the seat of my pants - I was startled and turned around and saw that it was Screech and that he was pressing his enormous hook nose into my ass crack while sniffing my smelly fart! I was really angry until Screech suddenly pulled down my pants and started giving me a vigorous reach-around while tonguing my anus. I’m not gay but I have to say that from the perspective of a straight man, it felt quite good. After blowing an enormous loud of semen onto a pool of piss under the urinal, Screech crawl over and licked it up like a demented faggot. I zipped up and then threw a well-earned quarter into Screech’s tip jar on my way out.
Hi everyone. I haven’t been here in awhile but I’m again in crisis. My lover is a baseball player on the Yankees. I’m always worried he’s cheating on me. Many nights he will get phone calls and when he picks up I can hear someone ripping ass into the phone. He insists they are prank calls, but I can see he’s turned on by them. During the off-season we have so much fun. We travel from rest area to rest area, huffing each other’s farts and spending the holidays at truck stops. But during the season I feel he loses interest and the NYC scene takes over. He’s told me 99 percent of his team is gay and there are tons of locker room antics. Unlike his last team in Chicago that allowed me to hang out in the locker room the Yankees won’t let me in. Should I be worried guys? What can I do to make sure my man stays interested in me?
Bartman, you need to realize that you are just a piece of “road ass” to Anthony Rizzo. I work as a waiter at a Pizza Hut in New York City and I see Anthony here regularly with different guys. He’s always gorging on deep dish pepperoni pizza and sucking down Mountain Dew like there’s no tomorrow. After eating for awhile, he starts unleashing his trademark farts and will usually stand up out of the booth where he’s sitting so he can fart in the face of the guy he’s with. He and his buddy Kris Bryant both stopped by in March and were ripping ass in a homeless bum’s face. It is ice to have pro baseball players visit, but they really stunk up the restaurant with their farts - it reeked up the smell of anus for 15 mins after they left that day. Even a $20 tip isn’t enough to have to deal with that nastiness!
Pizza Hut Employee I never gave you my boyfriends name. Also, there are 0 sit down Pizza Hut restaurants in NYC so I know you’re just a jealous hater. When we lived in Chicago we had access to dozens of deep dish pizza joints that we loved partaking in. They gave my man such meaty gas bombs. So no “Pizza Hut” is going to lure him from me. We’ve been together for many years now and I feel his eyes may be wandering when he’s in the showers and some young buck rips a nasty fart or two. That guy Aaron Judge is always calling and my man says it’s just for batting tips. But I regularly here loud farts coming from the phone. I can’t wait until the season is over and we can again travel the country in my Geo metro. If anyone has some real advice I’d appreciate it. I wish we could go back to Chicago. Maybe I should try and convince him to seek a trade back to the “windy city”?
Steve Anus,
Here is a comment from Screech himself.
“ 26th July 2006 - 07:35:54 AM
78654 : Dustin Diamond (for real)
Hey now that's just not very nice. Why you gotta be hatin on me? I just want to entertain!!!
Anyway I wanted to reveal to my TRUE fans that myself and the Coreys are, in fact, working on a sequel to FART PATROL!! Sadly the first film never materialised - it's in the can but we can't find anyone who's willing to distribute it! However I am currently in talks with Bruce Vilanch's production company Anal Beard Films, who seem interested - so fingers crossed everybody!!!!
And actually there was a sweetcorn kernel of truth in that last post - Corey F's giant cock will feature in the film in some capacity! Look out for it, folks!!
Once again, let's increase the peace and keep it clean in here, OK??
And for the last time, I'm not gay!!!! Jeez louise!!!!
- Trust the dust”
The film was shot, but never distributed. It’s been circulating on the underground queer circuit for a few years now. Not sure how a copy got out. I’ve only seen a few minutes but I have to say it’s highly erotic. All the scenes I’ve seen took place in a bowling alley where it was obvious no one had given them permission to film. The fat guy who rips ass was obviously not an actor and was very surprised and annoyed when Haim and Screech jumped out and started screaming after he ripped a fart. I’m hoping the entire film soon sees the light of day!
Bartman, the name of the restaurant is Patsy’s Pizzeria and is is located at 2287 1st Avenue. We are the best around and locally we are known as “Pizza Hut,” but yes, that is not actually our formal business name. But everyone in the pizza industry knows who Anthony Rizzo is - he can suck down a large deep dish pepperoni pizza within 5 minutes or so and then rip and window-rattling wet fart a few minutes after that! And tales of his exploits with Cubs superfan Steve Bartman are legendary! I have heard stories about Anthony eating a big slice of deep dish pepperoni and sausage pizza while having rough anal with you in the bathroom at the Lou Malnati’s near the river!! It sounds like you have a hot relationship with Anthony so I hope you reconnect so Anthony’s penis and ass needs are satisfied.
Bartman, we all know who you are. I have a suggestion for you. Roll with the flow. Be open to Anthony bringing over his teammates to rip ass blasts in your face as you listen to your 1980’s Walkman. You could find that brings you and Anthony closer, while also furthering your deviant behavior. You’ll get to sample other farts and may even find yourself being spitroasted by the likes of Aaron Judge and Anthony! Just tell Anthony that you’re ordering up a ton of delicious pizza’s and other junk foods, for he and his teammates to eat post game. The next thing you know the farts will begin to fly and you’ll be in paradise. Good luck!
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