Jason Heyward Sucks Forum
Discussion forum for Jason Heyward's fans (Atlanta, MLB). If you see inappropriate comments, then please report them by clicking the report abuse link aside the comment. Comments you post may require a paid membership to delete.
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| Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 21 Nov 2016 04:30:48 GMT There will be absolutely no video allowed! We cannot have Jason's motivational speeches being broadcast without proper payment! Jason has a few dates left this offseason. We are very proud of how many companies worldwide are ready to pay Jason to release his motivational gas. |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 20 Nov 2016 13:27:56 GMT *Editor Message*Are you going to answer the gentleman's question veteran? |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 19 Nov 2016 17:40:08 GMT ....hum, I trust you will be there to take shaky camcorder footage veteran? |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 19 Nov 2016 17:39:10 GMT To veteran, this is some highly erotic information! One of my kpi's is to foster good teamwork. I sure hope those farts inspire my group to drop their yellow gussetted y-fronts and gobble down those juicy dried bits of ass like a dog eating hot chips! |
| Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sat, 19 Nov 2016 00:37:47 GMT To below a rookie 01:38:32 there will be no Power Point slides. Jason's ridiculously loud farts speak for themselves. Your team will not be let down, and will leave so motivated you will within days see amazing results. |
| Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 18 Nov 2016 12:14:38 GMT I heard that Jason's agent has drawn up a contract for his services to give motivational speeches. In addition to the standard fee, Jason apparently also makes numerous other demands such as wanting to have chocolate chip cookies to eat during a meal to be provided prior to his speaking engagements. Jason's contract also requires that 10 2-liters of grape soda, 7 buckets of KFC, and 4 bags of Flamin' Hot Cheetos be prepared for him! |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 18 Nov 2016 01:38:32 GMT To veteran, this idea has its merits, I have a cabinet of Japanese and African senior managers - they are very visual and numerate. Is there any scope for a couple of power points and handouts to go along with those juicy farts? If so, please provide a short outline of the PowerPoint mlides and bar charts, so I can pitch it to my training team! |
| Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Thu, 17 Nov 2016 23:39:20 GMT Rookie 12:33:33 he would be clothed. He would accomodate whatever venue provided. From a large auditorium where he would fart his amazing message into a microphone, to a close gathering of senior executives in a boardroom where he would be able to provide more one on one attention and let people smell his message as well as hear it. He is truly an amazing man. |
| Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 17 Nov 2016 19:40:32 GMT This forum, alas, has gone down the tubes like our country. Can't wait for Spring Training. |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 17 Nov 2016 19:32:46 GMT When he first came up Braves fans were touting him as a future Hall of Famer. Maybe the best has yet to come.Reply-to:Heyward is a lot of things, but great player he is definitely not, at least not during 2016. I dont know if hes gay or anything like that. However, the guy only hit like .104 during the playoffs, which is worse than most pitchers. Heyward also hit a pedestrian .230 during the regular season. Heywards massive contract may be sufficient to prevent the Cubs from winning more World Series as they may lack the available resources to acquire more valuable players. |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 17 Nov 2016 12:33:33 GMT To veteran. Slow, how would it work?would he be clothed? Where would the staff stand? As a Fortune 500 CEO myself I find this is a very interesting idea! |
| Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 16 Nov 2016 05:14:30 GMT I heard that many Fortune 500 companies are lining up to have Jason stop by during the off season and fire up their employees with one of his patented motivational farts! Some companies are offering dollar amounts based off the decibel level of the fart. Jason could really clean house. After last seasons heroics hopefully the Cubs tear up Jason's unfair contract and pay him the $200 million per year he's worth so he doesn't have to work in the offseason like a slave! |
| Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Wed, 16 Nov 2016 01:52:43 GMT Heyward is insanely gay. How can one even wonder if he might not be gay? |
| Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Tue, 15 Nov 2016 19:35:31 GMT I saw an article in the Chicago Sun Times during August where it was mentioned that Jason and Dexter Fowler snuck a couple buckets of KFC onto the team plane on a flight to California to play the Padres. After they each ate their own bucket, they experienced bad gas and started ripping loud smelly farts for the last hour of the flight. Apparently the cabin of the plane literally smelled like shit by the time they plane landed in San Diego! However, the team swept the 3-game series with the Padres, so I guess the farts somehow motivated the Cubs to up their game! |
| Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Tue, 15 Nov 2016 03:32:33 GMT This is the new world we live in with Donald Trump as president. Everyone quickly forgets the amazing motivational fart Jason left that propelled the Cubs to World Series glory! All because he's a black man! If Anthony Rizzo had left that insanely loud motivational fart people would still be talking about it non stop! |
| Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 14 Nov 2016 15:34:51 GMT I agree on that! Not sure what else he adds to the team either |
| Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sun, 13 Nov 2016 19:28:17 GMT Heyward is a lot of things, but "great player" he is definitely not, at least not during 2016. I don't know if he's gay or anything like that. However, the guy only hit like .104 during the playoffs, which is worse than most pitchers. Heyward also hit a pedestrian .230 during the regular season. Heyward's massive contract may be sufficient to prevent the Cubs from winning more World Series as they may lack the available resources to acquire more valuable players. |
| Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 13 Nov 2016 18:25:32 GMT Rookie 21.53, who you tellin to get off this forum ma'fcka?! Imma here to give Jason my support as he's a damn fine playerwhat you gonna do about it brah? WhAt U gOnNa Do AboUt It bRaH?!? |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 13 Nov 2016 08:22:07 GMT U gon pynch dat Kurt d-dawg already! |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 12 Nov 2016 21:53:42 GMT We've commandeered this website. These are now queers-only forum! If you don't want Jason Heyward to eat out your ass while giving you a vigorous reach-around, then you should probably stop posting here! |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 12 Nov 2016 07:00:16 GMT I heard that Jason's "motivational speech" was actually a really loud fart. |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 11 Nov 2016 20:19:46 GMT Always got ass on his mind making up all kinds of jive stories that end with ass |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 11 Nov 2016 20:18:03 GMT Naw mahng, it's the same guy, he's on a few of the other forums |
| Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 11 Nov 2016 02:45:41 GMT There are legions of queer baseball fans. We tend to hang out in dumpsters near the ballparks and many times run into players. I haven't run into Jason yet but am hoping to over the winter. I want to be having some hot butt love with another fan while Jason gives me one of his patented motivational speeches! |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 10 Nov 2016 21:06:40 GMT I think that a bunch of gay guys found out about these forums and started posting here. I visit these forums every few months and they are usually lame or very quiet. I may come here more often as these posts make me laugh. I don't know whether they are meant as a joke or whether thereare really so many mentally deranged homosexual baseball fans out there. Either way, I'll be back soon myself |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 10 Nov 2016 16:25:02 GMT nearly every post on this site in the last few months have been about fecal matter or taco bell or burping - I am sure this is just one weird dude doing it |
| Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Thu, 10 Nov 2016 01:01:12 GMT I heard that Jason Heyward went back to the locker room during the game 7 rain delay to drink from a 2-liter bottle of grape soda he had in his locker. After drinking about a liter, he belched loudly, and then quickly had a sugar high. He gave his motivational speech during his grape soda sugar high! |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 09 Nov 2016 17:44:02 GMT Is it true that Heyward farts in his teammates' faces to motivate them? |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 09 Nov 2016 06:31:15 GMT Hi all, I really need to know, what is jason's favourite tv show and fast food eatery? Guys, I need this quick for my school project |
| Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Wed, 09 Nov 2016 02:27:57 GMT Theo has already had a sit down with heyward and it has been determined he will go on a hardcore doping regimen ala arrieta and Bryant. Look out for the upcoming facial steroid acne as Bryant has exhibited |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 08 Nov 2016 23:49:49 GMT Yeah what a joke. The cubs only won because of some words from Jason Heyward? Untalented spook that they don't even want on the team? F*ck Hey-tard. He couldn't motivate anyone to take a shit let alone win the world series. He likely stood in the room and ripped a wet fart |
| Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Tue, 08 Nov 2016 18:27:03 GMT I heard that Heyward is planning on having the Cubs players walk on hot coals once at month during the 2017 season to inspire and motivate them! |
| Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 07 Nov 2016 10:00:52 GMT The Chicago Tribune actually credited Hayward's rain delay speech for inspiring the Cubs to win the World Series! It is a travesty that Heyward wasn't named series MVP just for his wordshttp://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/columnists/ct-cubs-built-to-last-haugh-spt-1106-20161105-column.html |
| Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 07 Nov 2016 03:27:57 GMT Wow, I thought that Jason Heyward was insanely overpaid if viewed just in terms of his baseball playing abilities, without accounting for his motivational powers.However, according to this Sports Illustrated article from March 2016, Heyward got ripped off by the Cubs and will be underpaid by $85 million over the course of his 8-year contract! http://www.si.com/mlb/2016/03/02/free-agents-overpaid-underpaid-jason-heyward-alex-gordon-ian-kennedy I remember years ago when Sports Illustrated used to have some degree of credibility... |
| Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 07 Nov 2016 03:22:26 GMT Dexter Fowler declared for free agency and almost certainly won't be back on the Cubs. That mega-superstar, Jason Heyward, should have been the black player on SNL instead of Fowler. Yes, Fowler had a much higher batting average during the regular season and in the playoffs. However, Fowler is not the motivational guru that Heyward is! Heyward is so important to the Cubs' success that his pep talks alone are worth nearly $23 million/season for the next 7 years! |
| Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 06 Nov 2016 13:29:55 GMT I was confused. I thought they let Jason heyward on snl. That would have been hilarious. Mr postseason. |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 05 Nov 2016 21:06:20 GMT *she comes home crying. |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 05 Nov 2016 21:05:06 GMT furthermore, I hope you remember your statement when karma bites your daughter and she comes crying. |
| Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 05 Nov 2016 21:02:14 GMT rookie 21:19:11 A black man and a white woman can't make a white girl. Guess what? your daughter will be a sheboon. |
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