| 08th March 2007 - 03:18:37 PM |
| 79750 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Dner, I work out at Ramone's Gym down on 6th Street in Key West. It's just past the White Swallow bar. They validate for the pink parking lot across the street. It's not designated as an all-gay gym, although most of the patrons are flaming. |
| 08th March 2007 - 02:18:21 PM |
| 79746 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Hey guys, I was at the gym yesterday lifting weights. As usual, I was wearing my Zubaz without underwear. After about 30 minutes of lunges, squats, and leg presses, the entire weight room was beginning to smell like my asshole. So then this weak kid with a giant jew fro walks in and asked me to spot for him on the bench press. This kid was a totall pussy and only put 5lb weights on each side of the bar. Then we started doing a couple reps and was struggling. I knew he would need my help on the third rep and so I immediately dropped my Zubaz and turned around so that my butthole was about 2 inches from his face and ripped a nasty wet fart while he was struggling to lift his rep. He was overcome by my fart and dropped the bar down onto his chest. His hands were occupied trying to lift the bar and I knew he was now defenseless against my aggressions. I then dunked my nuts in his mouth until I blew my load and cleaned his face with a golden shower. A couple other dudes saw what was happening and immediately dropped their shorts and started jerking off. After everyone had blown a few loads, we finally lifted the bar off the little pussy's chest. His ribs were bruised pretty badly, but I think he'll be ok. Unfortunately, I don't think he'll visit my gym again. :( |
| 08th March 2007 - 10:22:53 AM |
| 79744 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Didn't Screech also get caught licking the skidmarks on Belding's tattered underwear when Belding was swimming a few laps (while completely naked) at the Bayside pool? |
| 07th March 2007 - 08:59:54 PM |
| 79738 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Hey Turd Ferguson, thanks for the head-up. I definitely plan on watching Diamond's appearances on Celebrity Fit club while I;m completely naked and masturbating. I intend to lose several loads per episode while I watch Diamond's lazy and chunky pale ass get fatter and fatter while the other contestants lose weight during the course of the show. My sofa is bound to have lots of semen stains by the time summer arrives! Thanks Diamond. |
| 07th March 2007 - 08:26:24 AM |
| 79733 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Diamond, is it true that your penis is the size of a Tic-Tac, whereas Belding's is the size of a Pringles can? |
| 06th March 2007 - 02:34:53 PM |
| 79730 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Diamond, you missed your chance to hook up with this morbidly obese 873-lb woman before she dided. :( You should have hung around the Arby's until she waddled in and hit on her. http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/4575169.html |
| 06th March 2007 - 12:11:04 AM |
| 79727 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Diamond, let's play "Gym Class." I just made it up. The rules of this game are simple - I roll a kickball across the ground while you chase after it. I will run after you and kick you in your tiny "ball bag" if I catch up to you. I will continue doing this until you pass out. You must be creaming your pants just thinking about playing this game with me! |
| 05th March 2007 - 09:38:47 PM |
| 79725 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Diamond, why is your penis so small? |
| 02nd March 2007 - 10:57:17 AM |
| 79699 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Diamond, did you ever tell your parents about any of the things that used to happen to you on the rowdy Saved By The Bell set? Did your parents cry or laugh at your tales of Cleveland Steamers, Rusty Trombones, and Arabian Goggles? |
| 01st March 2007 - 11:56:42 AM |
| 79690 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Deucer, I've often thought about purchasing my own spa for some hot homosexual scat orgies. However, my friend Scott had a scat party in his spa and his spa ended up being ruined because little chunks of shit (and corn and peanuts that were in the shit) clogged up the drainage system and caused thousands of dollars worth of damage. Does one of your buddies lick the shit off of the floor and walls of the spa when you are done? If Diamond would visit you could use his brillo-like jew-fro to scrub down the spa when you are done and to soak up the piss and semen! |
| 28th February 2007 - 01:45:03 PM |
| 79682 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Dner, I have been to the Pump Room many times in the past. However, my most recent spa experience took place at the Rim Room - I think that both are owned by JM J Bullock. The great thing about the Rim Room is the complimentary Taco Bell food that is great diarrhea fuel. The spa had to be hosed down and bleached when my group was done with it! There's something about rancid feces (and dumpsters) that is an absolutely critical component of a deranged and demented homosexual's lifestyle! |
| 28th February 2007 - 11:48:04 AM |
| 79679 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Diamond, I took a train to a well-known gay spa the other day. The train ride was rather unpleasant as a black bum shit his pants, causing the entire train to smell horrible. I'm not positive, but that bum may have been Milo the janitor. Once I arrived at the spa I had to wait around for 15 minutes or so until the daily Saved By The Bell session started. While I was waiting around I ate a few of the complimentary Taco Bell tacos and burritoes that were sitting out on a big tray. When the event was finally starting, a Saved By The Bell DVD was inserted into a DVD player and a disc from the fifth season started playing. I immediately took off my Zubaz pants, as did several other guys (it is a spa club requirement that members must wear Zubaz - preferablyZubaz pants with Skidmarks - when not in the spa). I jumped in the spa along with several other random dudes. There were some obese middle-aged white guys, some chubby mexicans, a japanese dude, a couple skinny koreans, and three filipinos. When "The Fight" episode started playing everyone got really horny and crazy. The mexican guy in front of me dropped a huge shit in the spa and one of the fat middle aged white guys gobbled it down. I personally peed on the filipino in front of me and then sprayed diarrhea all over the spa and started cracking one off. By the time three episodes had played, we were all exhausted and there was about 2 inches of feces and semen floating at the top of the spa water. It was a good time! |
| 27th February 2007 - 04:11:31 PM |
| 79671 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Belding's farts are very potent and can probably melt lead. The German army would have conquered Europe during WWI if they could have used Belding's asshole as their secret weapon instead of mustard gas! |
| 27th February 2007 - 10:59:50 AM |
| 79665 : Kurt Steinberg |
| I enjoy the fact that Belding's fart is so nasty that it instantly kills bees. He should bottle his farts and sell them as bug spray. Belding, you're sitting on a goldmine! |
| 26th February 2007 - 11:09:03 AM |
| 79649 : Kurt Steinberg |
| nelson tejeda, you came to the right place. I'm sure that Diamond will get back to you soon! |
| 25th February 2007 - 09:44:10 PM |
| 79640 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Diamond needs to purchase that robot insurance, because it's only a matter of time until someone finds Kevin and the garbage dump and replaces his old expired batteries with fresh ones. When that happens, he's coming for Diamond's zoinker and brownpipe! |
| 25th February 2007 - 05:20:09 PM |
| 79637 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Dner, Bradis was so washed up that he actually committed suicide! Will Diamond eventually do the same? I think it's only a matter of time until Diamond receives a prison sentence for tax evasion or something like that and I don't know if he'd be able to survive a prison sentence. |
| 23rd February 2007 - 12:09:18 AM |
| 79610 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Diamond, I heard an unbelievably queer song at my gym the other day. It is called "Let Me Borrow That Top" and is sung by a dude who sounds like a raging homosexual. Did you write that song? I immediately thought of your queer ass when it started playing. This is a youtube video of that queer song (the video part has nothing to do with the song): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cgzks4K5kzI |
| 22nd February 2007 - 05:32:43 PM |
| 79606 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Corey, please gay up the script. It sounds a little too heterosexual for my taste. FYI, I was watching Lucas the other day - wow was your character a little homo in that flick! |
| 22nd February 2007 - 10:54:36 AM |
| 79601 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Bruce, I thought that your new movie was supposed to be called "Live Free or Die Hard." Remember that scene in the original Die Hard where you put some C-4 explosives on an office chair, tied a computer monitor to the top of the chair and then threw it down an elevator shaft and whole thing exploded when it hit the elevator down below? You should have put an alternate scene on the DVD where instead of puting the C-4 on the chair you put it in Screech's rectum (maybe Screech was hiding in the building to get away from Belding) and then threw Screech down the elevator shaft. When Screech blew up you should have been masturbating while standing in the open elevator shaft and then you could blow your load on screech's burnt corpse hundreds of feet below. |
| 22nd February 2007 - 12:38:55 AM |
| 79589 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Hey Diamond, we need to hook up. I still want you to French kiss my asshole while I'm in the middle of taking a shit. The thought of your tongue touching my sphincter while a big meatly Taco Bell induced turd is being forced out really turns me on. Let's have sex! |
| 21st February 2007 - 07:02:06 PM |
| 79588 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Let's meet at the Denny's at 6100 Suset Boulevard in Hollywood. Here is a map: http://web.sa.mapquest.com/dennys/advantage.adp?transaction=locmap&recordId=258&pwidth=400&pheight=250 |
| 21st February 2007 - 06:57:05 PM |
| 79587 : Kurt Steinberg |
| We've meeting behind the Denny's on the Sunset Strip in West Hollwood. 2-4 dudes can go the bathrooms inside the Denny's for some hot scat play and the rest of us will engage in watersports and unprotected buttsex out back by the dumpsters while HIV juice is flying every which way! |
| 21st February 2007 - 09:49:19 AM |
| 79570 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Diamond, you should rip off Haim's idea and make your own movie. You could call it "Zoinks!," "How Screech Lost His Heterosexuality," of "Jew Bastard." Please include a scene where Milo kidnaps you and takes you to the 'hood where you are sodomized by several illiterate HIV+ janitors. You should also include a scene where you go to a Mexican restaurant and someone from the cleaning service you complained about on your Myspace blog recognizes you. It would be awesome if they dragged you into the kitchen and beat you with mops, stuck some discarded burritoes up your brownpipe and then hanged you from the ceiling and pretended you were a pinata and whacked you with sticks and chairs for 45 minutes until you passed out. |
| 20th February 2007 - 11:32:48 PM |
| 79561 : Kurt Steinberg |
| Corey Haim, please add a Taco Bell scene to Fart Patrol 2. I was disappointed when there wasn't one in the original. Is Feldman going to make a cameo appearance in the sequel? What about Dustin Diamond? I think it would be funny if you include a scene where you behind the Taco Bell and have to walk past a couple dumpsters to get to the entrance. As you walk past the dumpsters the camera pans down and shows that Dustin Diamond is being brutally sodomized by a couple dirty and diseased homeless men! What do you think about using a scene like that? |
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