Check this out! Diamond actually does like to have sex in spas just like in my queer fantasy! For some reason, however, he doesn't mention being in a spa with a bunch of dudes piss, shitting, and jizzing - this article must have been heavily editted. Also, Diamond makes an innuedo that Zack is gay. It's odd that it's ok when he does it, but not ok when the queers who post here insinuate the same about him.
http://www.nerve.com/regulars/sexadvicefrom/90sicons/
Dustin Diamond, 29
Dustin played Samuel "Screech" Powers on NBC's Saved by the Bell from the first episode (1989) to the last (1993). He went on to play Principal Belding's assistant in the spin-off, Saved by the Bell: The New Class. These days, Dustin has been utilizing his fame to raise enough money to keep his house � doing stand-up comedy, wrestling other celebrities and selling his own line of "D-shirts." Buy one of your own at www.getdshirts.com.
Did President Clinton's affair with Monica Lewinsky make oral sex more publicly acceptable?
Oral sex has always been acceptable. The bottom line is, regardless of your position, whether you're a plumber or a president, it doesn't matter. I think Clinton played it off well. From [in Clinton voice], "I did not have sexual relations with that woman," then all of sudden he's like, "Well, hey baby, you know!" He handled it well. I don't know why she kept the dress though.
My new girlfriend is coming over for the first time. What '90s movie should I rent to ensure that I get laid?
The girls I tend to go for like The Crow.
The Crow?
Yeah, The Crow. The romantic story, the tragic love story. They were going to get married. They were brutally assaulted. She ended up dying. He ended up dying, but his ghost couldn't rest. He went back and set the wrong things right. Fighting for justice and love and in the end he's still dead, so it's that sad, sad love story.
[To his girlfriend, Jennifer] What do you think is a romantic movie to bone by? There weren't a lot of good humping movies in the '90s. What about Sliver? Sliver is good. [To Jennifer] We're going to watch Sliver and bone tonight. We're going to tear it up. You're going to hear bones crack.
Would you ever watch a sex video of yourself?
Doesn't matter if you're an actor or not, guys can't videotape themselves having sex. And shouldn't. Inevitably, as a guy, you look at yourself and you're like, "Hey, yeah, all right! Check me out!" If you watch porn, the guys never do that. They never look at the camera.
Have you ever slept with a cast member or someone else on set?
I had my share of escapades on the set. I went for guest stars or the extras. Every week, we had thirty different extras. It was like a smorgasbord. If we didn't get along or things didn't work out, next week it was a new day. A new go.
What advice would you give me if I decide to start sleeping with someone I work with?
Unless you're going to marry and have kids with him, things are eventually and inevitably going to hit a standstill. Let's say someone new comes along and you want to hook up with him. Now this person is going to be jealous and it's going to cause discomfort. I say hook up with temps.
The girl I'm dating constantly brings up her ex in conversation. How can I get her to focus on the present?
You got to tap it so good that she falls asleep. If she doesn't fall asleep afterwards, you have no chance. Rock it to sleep, baby. My test is that I'll pop in a movie, but first get her down. If she can watch the movie afterward, I didn't do it right.
My boyfriend wants me to shower with him, but I'm self-conscious about my body. How is a girl to overcome this?
It's not her job to overcome it, it's the guy's job to help her overcome it. Make an effort to explore with your hands and head in those areas and make it okay. Also, he should talk about his beer gut. You're drawing the attention off of her. Laughter can make you comfortable.
To be slick, I always take a dip in a spa. The girl feels cool because she can sit down under the water and only her head is exposed. When the guy gets out, he should do the gentleman thing and hold the towel up for her. Hold it in front where you can't really see so she feels like it's a safety shield. Then you can bring the towel around the back. Don't wrap her around the front like a mummy, because then it's like you don't want to see her. Swing it around the back so that now she's totally exposed. Then take a shower to clean off the chlorine. Start out in the bathing suit and then those can come off in the shower.
You've done this before? The spa trick?
Oh yeah.
You have a lot of moves.
Yeah, I can write a book of moves. They're all tried and tested.
Where can I meet a guy for a summer fling?
Find a festival where bands are playing and people are drinking and dancing. Every place in the country has its own festival. Go to a place where people are going there specifically to hang out and watch a band. They want to be comfortable and still be available for options, should options appear. People are usually coming from out of town for festivals, staying in hotels that are usually within walking distance. Then they're gone when the festival is over.
Who was your dirtiest crush from the '90s?
I had a crush on Jennifer Connelly for a long time. She was in Career Opportunities. Her boobs were just huge. She looked like she was smuggling two hams. They looked like a midget mooning you. It was incredible. Then she did The Hot Spot. She was topless in that. I'd bone her even if my lady was in the room.
Do you have Screech stalkers?
I have Dustin Diamond stalkers. I have people who are fans of the show that show up � girls who have heard the legend of the D.
The eight-inch monster?
Eight?
Nine?
You didn't listen to that [Howard Stern] transcript did you?
Ten?
Yeah.
Ten inches. Okay, good.
I have girls showing up and saying, "Ruin me." One of them, I don't know if she had all of her teeth. I mean, most of them were there.
She sounds special.
She had a chinstrap, but no helmet. It was very bizarre.
Have you ever slept with someone to climb the ranks in your industry? Would you recommend it?
I never had the opportunity. Our executive producer was a guy in his sixties. Maybe if I were Zach . . .
I'm a woman and I suspect that my male friend has a crush on me. How do I deal with this?
Every guy who's a friend with a girl wants to bone her. Unless it's the gay guy friend. If a guy is friends with a girl and the girl ever wants to test it and say, "Let's sleep together," 100% of the time the guy will go for it.
So you don't think guys and girls can be platonic friends.
Put it this way. You know how many girls have said that's not true? And you know how many girls I've boned that started out as just friends? Next time Jennifer and I fight, you and me go to the movies. |
