Tuesday, August 16, 2016

"Screech Gets His Own Office" episode recap



Screech, remember that episode where Mr. Belding finally gave you your own office when you were his assistant at Bayside?  Remember how you had been begging him for years and he got so sick of your whining that he finally relented and agreed to your request?  Remember how the only room available was a former storage room which had no ventilation or windows?  Remember how this did not upset you, as you were just happy to have your own office as it was a sign that you were a success even though your position at Bayside was an unpaid intern position which you had already had for 5 years?  Remember how the day after you moved into the new office Mr. Belding  left at 11:00 AM to eat lunch and purchase a couple cakes to eat by himself that afternoon?  Remember how your boss, Corky from Life Goes On, stayed in Mr. Belding’s office while he was gone to make sure you did your work?  Remember how Mr. Belding’s favorite lunch restaurant was  a pizzeria down the street which served large deep dish Chicago-style pizzas?  Remember how the restaurant sold extra-large deep dish pizzas meant to feed a family of six?  Remember how Mr. Belding would eat three of these by himself with extra meat toppings such as pepperoni and sausage?  Remember how Mr. Belding returned from lunch and set two chocolate cakes on his desk?  Remember how Mr. Belding said that the pizza was really good that day and that he had 7 refills of Mountain Dew with his meal?  Remember when he belched really loudly?  Remember how Corky laughed?  Remember when he walked into your office and asked how your work was going?  Remember when you started answering and then he suddenly turned to face the door, dropped his pants, and ripped a loud and long pepperoni fart?  Remember how it was as loud as a fog horn and was powerful enough to blow papers off your desk?  Remember how bad it smelled and your office quickly stunk?  Remember how Corky fell over laughing?  Remember when Mr. Belding then walked out of your office and then locked the door, trapping his fart in there with you?  Remember how the lack of ventilation or windows meant that his fart could not escape the room?  Remember how you banged on the door, but Mr. Belding wouldn’t let you out?  Remember when Mr. Belding finally unlocked the door 45 minutes later and you were happy as you assumed he was finally done messing with you?  Remember when you quickly realized that Mr. Belding was not close to being done tormenting you, as he dropped his pants and then peed all over your desk and carpet and then locked the door again until his puddle of urine evaporated into the air you were breathing?  Mr. Belding really got you good that time!

Wednesday, August 03, 2016

The "David Ortiz Sucks Forum"

Here are the most recent posts on the "David Ortiz Sucks Forum":


Discussion forum for David Ortiz's anti-fans (Boston, MLB). Does he suck?






Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 04 Aug 2016 01:05:32 GMT reply
To veteran: vote for Hillary!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 03 Aug 2016 17:02:03 GMT reply
He looks like a gorilla who escaped from the zoo. I want him to bury his face in my ass

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 31 Jul 2016 04:06:14 GMT reply
Do you losers erase shit because you can't handle a little friendly poking? The Castro curved dick pics are hilarious, you gay mofos. Censorship makes Niggerdave cry.

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sat, 30 Jul 2016 17:12:39 GMT reply
I agree with Veteran. Rookie is probably under 6 feet tall, about 5' 7" I'd guess.....loosesser....

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sat, 30 Jul 2016 16:29:42 GMT reply
To below rookie: and you wonder why you're renting some dump apt. and are behind in your rent. You are a silliebillie, porknoise, nimrod, dork, blockhead, chowder head and all around loser. This is why no broad would even give you a second look....you bozo.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 30 Jul 2016 06:40:04 GMT reply
Red Sucks fans are just as deluded as Yankmee fans. Both fanbases can lick my unwiped asshole.

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 29 Jul 2016 22:00:23 GMT reply
Below sophomore is 100% correct! Hoo-Ray!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 29 Jul 2016 19:09:56 GMT reply
all red sox fans are thanful to the guy for making our team legit for the rest opf our lifetimes, along with manny ramirez, so that is fact

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 29 Jul 2016 17:04:42 GMT reply
To below veteran : oh ma gosh! You must be some sort of porknoise with no job. Mr. Dave Ortiz is not only the greatest clutch hitter ever, he is very modest. All you scum Yankees fans are very jealous of Pappy.

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Thu, 28 Jul 2016 09:37:11 GMT reply
I want to drink a 2-liter of grape soda and then piss into Ortiz's mouth. I bet he'd love it! Afterward, I would sit on his face while he licks my anus and inhales my farts

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 25 Jul 2016 23:34:04 GMT reply
To below Vet and Rook: you are a couple of shorties, dorks, blockheads, nimrods, porknoises, dodo birds, pinheads and racists. Praise Allah! You buttonholes!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 25 Jul 2016 23:03:27 GMT reply
Is there any truth to the rumor that the Gatorade coolers in the Red Sox dugout are actually filled with grape soda at the request of David Ortiz?

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 25 Jul 2016 02:01:17 GMT reply
Good riddance to this yard-ape. Retire in the south where fried chicken and grape drank is abundant, you fat sloppy muslim nigger

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sun, 24 Jul 2016 17:58:15 GMT reply
To below ninny rookie: boy, I bet your family is so proud of you...not! You are such a silliebillie, dunce, asswipe, loser, ninkompoop, lamebrain, pug, mug, thug, shortie, swinehount, dumkouff, and overall waste of space, even the almighty Allah would bounce your sorry can from his domain. Why don't you take a long walk off a short pier, ya falla Allah?

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 22 Jul 2016 08:47:10 GMT reply
He has some fat titties. I want to milk them dry after he sucks me off

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 22 Jul 2016 08:45:58 GMT reply
I think it is hilarious that Ortiz's picture on this forum is that of a silverback gorilla!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Thu, 21 Jul 2016 08:24:27 GMT reply
Is it true that he eats KFC extra crispy chicken between innings and sometimes pisses his pants after drinking too much grape soda before his at-bats?

Thursday, July 28, 2016

More Posts From the "Alex Rodriguez Sucks Forum"

I previously posted comments from the Alex Rodriguez Sucks Forum. Here are more recent comments:




Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Wed, 27 Jul 2016 08:40:14 GMT reply
I was in China last year on a trip with my family. While visiting the Great Wall I saw A Rod hanging out. For some reason he was wearing his Yankees uniform. While passing him I left a loud fart which made my kids laugh. For some reason A Rod then began following us. He soon after caught up to me and said he appreciated me "flirting" with him and asked if I wanted to hit the bathroom with him. I through he wasted to do drugs and said I was with my kids and there were only port o potties around. He said it would be worth it and guided me towards a port o potty that had a guard in front of it and a "reserved for A Rod" sign on it. We entered and I found it was filthy with shit and piss everywhere and it stank. It was surprising as this was his private bathroom. Upon entering A Rod offered me a beer, then ripped down my pants and demanded I release another fart. When I couldn't he became enraged and began tonguing my anus until I left a nice blast right on his tongue. He began moaning and jerked me off. Then he gave me an autographed mini bat and I left and returned to my family. It was an odd but erotic experiencing. I can't believe how many others have had homoerotic experiences with A Rod!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 26 Jul 2016 23:26:31 GMT reply
A few years ago my family and I were at a Friendly's restaurant. A Rod was alone in a booth near us, and was wearing his uniform. When I finished my Reese's pieces sundae I headed to the bathroom. As I passed by A Rod's table I heard the waitress ask him if he wanted any dessert. A Rod looked my way and said he would be getting his dessert in the bathroom. He followed me in and asked me if I knew who he was. I said I did and he then belched loudly inches from my face and asked me if I liked it. When I said no he kept into the air and farted while trying to contort his ass towards my face. He then asked how I liked that. I moved past him and went into a stall. As I dropped my pants I saw A Rod peering over the top of the stall and told me he needed some dessert and would pay well for it. He asked if I would release a "frosty with nuts" into his mouth. When I said he needed to leave me alone he kicked in the door and ripped me off the bathroom seat. He began licking my butthole and demanded I feed him his dessert. I was scared for my life and suqeezed out a brown CHUD into his mouth. He gobbled it up then licked my anus clean before dropping a $20 next to me. It was an odd experience. One I will cherish forever.

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 26 Jul 2016 03:13:51 GMT reply
I met A Rod while at a Pizza Hut in 2013. He was by himself and I was with my family. I weigh about 500 pounds and saw A Rod watching me eat an entire meat lovers pizza by myself. After eating I headed into the bathroom to go diarrhea. A Rod followed me in and as I headed into a stall he went to a urinal. When I began farting he asked if I "needed some help" to which I responded I was ok. He then kicked in the door and said he "liked my style" whatever the hell that means. He asked if I would shit in his mouth. Being a huge Yankees fan, and seeing he was for some reason wearing his uniform, I lumbered off the seat and A Rod laid on the floor so I could fire my shit tsunami all over him. After coating him in shit he pulled my buttcheeks apart and began licking my asshole. The entire time he was moaning with pleasure. I'm glad I found this forum and am not the only person to have had this happen. I told my family what had happened but no one believed me and just called me "fat tits".

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 25 Jul 2016 11:00:43 GMT reply
Those are some hot stories about A-Rod!
I also have one to share. It was a Saturday back in 2007 and A-Rod had just won his 3rd MVP award. I was sitting on the toilet at a highway rest stop in upstate New York taking a loud dump when I heard the someone clapping and congratulating me on my dump. The next thing I knew, I looked up and saw someone peering over the stall door at me. Upon closer inspection, I realized that it was A-Rod! He said he enjoyed the odor and sounds of my fecal dump and that he was turned on. He then open the stall door and sucked me off while I sat at the toilet. After he climaxed, he asked me to stand up. Then he licked me anus clean, during which he jizzed in his pants!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 25 Jul 2016 02:00:12 GMT reply
A few years back I was homeless and living at a highway rest area in my car. I met A Rod when he came to the rest stop and asked if he could sleep in my car with me. I had a large Dodge Ram van, and A Rod was excited when he stepped in wearing his Yankees uniform and saw that I was watching the show "Small Wonder". He told me he really liked it. We snuggled and cuddled for two days. Not much sexual happened except A Rod taking a nice dump in my mouth. It was an amazing experience. When he left A Rod left me $12 bucks.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 25 Jul 2016 00:13:29 GMT reply
I met A Rod in the bathroom of a Waffle House. He was wearing his Yankees uniform and when I left a fart he leaned towards me and began breathing deeply. We made eye contact and the hash browns "all the a way" began gurgling in my stomach. Before I knew what was happening A Rod had ripped down my Zubaz pants and was tonguing my anus! He began smacking my ass and demanding I let loose my bowels. It was a little shocking as I'm not a gay man, but I was about to release a torrent of diarrhea which completed coated A Rod. He continued munching on my butthole then gave me an autographed ball as a gift. It was truly awesome. A Rod is a class act.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 24 Jul 2016 22:41:37 GMT reply
A Rod is a brilliant gay man. He will have hundreds of millions of dollars in order to facilitate his deviant queer lifestyle for the remainder of his life. I can't wait until he retires and I can fart in his face and have him tongue my anus while paid midgets jump around.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 24 Jul 2016 16:25:18 GMT reply
This overpaid bum is finished.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 24 Jul 2016 01:20:40 GMT reply
A Rod loves to give and recive farts to the face. I met him at a truck stop near Lake Tahoe a few years back. While my family was on the lake I headed to a truck stop to troll for man ass. I ran into A Rod who was doing the same. We hooked up in a bathroom stall and after blowing me he begged me to fart in his face. He then tongued my anus.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 23 Jul 2016 08:40:12 GMT reply
I want to have rough anal sex with A-Roid. When I am about to cum, I will pull out of his anus and then blow my load on his face. Then I will finish him off with an explosive fart to the face!

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 23 Jul 2016 06:12:54 GMT reply
I met A Rod at a Motel 6. He was really nice and was wearing his Yankee uniform so I knew it was him. I was surprised he was driving an old Chevy chevette but I figured he was just a down to earth dude. He then paid me $15 to sit on his face and rip farts. I'd say he's a class act.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 23 Jul 2016 03:06:47 GMT reply
A Rod is down to a .206 batting average. He has gone from one of the best players to the worst. The only thing he is good at is tonguing dudes anus's and receiving massive amounts of fart's to the face!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 20 Jul 2016 22:28:08 GMT reply
Below Janitor in ARod's building. Has A Rod ever blasted ass in your face around the holidays and then said "keep the change you filthy animal"? I heard this is how he gives out holiday tips.

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 20 Jul 2016 16:31:09 GMT reply
i am a janitor in the building where a-rod lives. he sucks me off twice a week

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 20 Jul 2016 05:33:09 GMT reply
I just now read about A Rod's despicable behavior driving an ATV up Mount Everest and leaving loud farts, shitting, and leaving gay porn and Taco Bell wrappers laying around. I have informed the Tibetian and Chinese consulates who have been investigating this. It seems A Rod had sex with two of the male corpses on the mountain as well and is wanted for questioning and probable imprisonment. Thank you sir for bringing this to my attention and for the person who confirmed being there when this atrocity happened. Hopefully A Rod will soon find himself in prison for this.

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 20 Jul 2016 04:57:24 GMT reply
If you look closely when A Rod makes one of his rare plate appearances you will notice his uniform seat has brown stains. He shits himself regularly as his anus has been shredded by so many years of hard core anal sex.

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 19 Jul 2016 19:28:44 GMT reply
I have a big dong and A rod loves dongs including muh dong bitches waaahahahah

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 19 Jul 2016 19:27:28 GMT reply
Haha Arod dick riderReply-to:Al Rod is better than you, you Moho !

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Tue, 19 Jul 2016 00:03:55 GMT reply
I saw A Rod in Manhatten the other day. He was walking hand in hand with the guy who played "Corky" on the show "Life Goes On". Does anyone know if they are a couple? They were very touchy feely and I saw Corky grab A Rod ass!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 18 Jul 2016 23:25:08 GMT reply
When he dated Madonna, she would use a strap-on to batter his anus!!!

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 18 Jul 2016 23:24:25 GMT reply
I heard that A-Rod takes steroid pills inserted into his anus. He does this because he says it feels better getting the steroids in this manner.

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 18 Jul 2016 00:51:52 GMT reply
A Rod was happy to have a late game today. He spent the day in a sexual orgy with a bunch of homeless men. He left a fart so loud it sounded like an M80.

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sun, 17 Jul 2016 05:43:19 GMT reply
The only department A Rod is better then me is at tounging dudes rancid assholes.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 17 Jul 2016 02:14:24 GMT reply
Al Rod is better than you, you Moho !

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sun, 17 Jul 2016 01:38:15 GMT reply
A Rod went 0-3 with a walk today. His batting average is a pathetic .218. On a bright note he is making millions of dollars playing like excrement, and takes daily shits in the dugout.