I discovered some AI-generated videos of Screech working as an unpaid bathroom attendant.
In this first video, Screech is cleaning an enormous amount of diarrhea from a toilet seat:
Here are a couple more videos of Screech cleaning up a mess in a men's room:
Here is a nice video of Screech sitting in a dumpster munching on handfuls of garbage:
Here are a couple videos of Screech relaxing in a filthy motel which has soiled underwear on the bed and either mold or dookie stains on the walls:
I have updated this post to include two AI-generated covers for the "Janitors Illustrated" magazine mentioned in one of the comments. I am uncertain as to when these issues were released, or if these are simply mock-ups of magazine issues. Note that Screech was on the cover of the annual swimsuit issue.
62 comments:
Screech looks like he could be an extra for the Village People in that top video where he’s wearing the blue janitor’s outfit and hat
I consider this proof Screech is alive and as deviant as ever. I am investigating this as he defrauded many insurance companies and lenders. The most valuable thing he left was a “jar of Mr. Beldings farts” that sold at auction for $2.50. I hope to capture and interrogate him shortly.
I was at a truck stop today outside Sacramento and I saw a strange sight. Some guy was there dressed as Screech and was leering at dudes taking pisses, while cheering on people who ripped farts or sprayed diarrhea. He had a tip hat out, along with a menu that offered some further services. Oddly enough his Dad was there and seemed really proud of his son. He told me his son was in a high school program that was preparing him for world as a bathroom attendant. I found this really odd, but will say the bathroom was very clean, and there were many amenities by the tip hat. I spruced myself up with a spritz of knock off Polo cologne, and also ate a nice breath mint. I left a dollar tip, which elicited a “Zoinks” from the kid.
Screech did a fantastic job of cleaning diarrhea on the toilet seat in the first video. I bet he would have been a great janitor. He should have worked days as a paid janitor and nights as an unpaid bathroom attendant to build up the nest egg he squandered after Saved By The Bell: The New Class was cancelled.
I am the chief editor at “Janitors Illustrated,” the top janitorial services magazine in the business. Each month we profile one of the top performing janitors around. In July 2025, we profiled Pablo Suarez, a janitor at a Taco Bell in San Antonio, TX. Mr Suarez has a pristine reputation for keeping his Taco Bell men’s room as clean as a whistle, mopping up several pounds of diarrhea and unclogging toilets constantly. However, I have to say that the speed at which Screech cleaned diarrhea off the toilet seat in the top video of this post is very impressive. I also like his cute little blue uniform! Was that video recorded recently? I’d like to get agent on the horn and set up an interview. I have an idea where I’m sitting on a toilet talking to Screech and then I start spraying diarrhea! Screech asks me to get up and then tongues my anus clean and then proceeds to quickly clean any diarrhea stains off the toilet at a record-setting pace. It would be a fantastic opportunity for Screech to reach a wider audience!
Ted, I’m a non janitor who has subscribed to your magazine for years. I enjoy keeping up with the leading edge innovations of the janitorial industry. I’m hopeful you will do an issue that focuses on Screech’s legacy in the janitorial industry, as well as those following in his deranged footsteps. It’s amazing Screech started out licking a few buttholes, now there are classes across this country teaching our youth how to properly man a bathroom (unpaid of course). How does your magazine see the unpaid bathroom attendant? Do you believe they are a disgrace to the janitorial industry, or are the allure of tips enough?
Berry, it is great to hear from a loyal subscriber to “Janitors Illustrated.” Screech’s work as an unpaid bathroom attendant had little effect on the janitorial industry. It is a common misconception, but there is a world of difference between an unpaid bathroom attendant and a janitor. Few unpaid bathroom attendants would even bother to clean up diarrhea sprays, pubes on toilets, or puddles of urine left on the floor by drunk patrons who accidentally miss the urinal. That is what janitors are paid to address. Also, an unpaid bathroom attendant offers personalized service to a bathroom user, such as squirting liquid soap onto a user’s hands, handing over paper towels, providing breath mints and cologne spritzes, or sniffing a stranger’s anus with their hook noses. A janitor would never do those things and is there to make sure that the bathroom is stocked with a sufficient amount of toilet paper, soap, and paper towels, but would never directly hand these items to someone sitting on a toilet in a stall taking a massive dump.
Ted, if bathroom attendants don’t clean up diarrhea, then why was Screech cleaning up diarrhea in the first video of this post? Or was he simply doing that for free because he enjoys doing it? For some reason, Screech enjoyed being in places where people were ripping smelly farts and going diarrhea on toilet seats. It seems strange to normal people, but I guess it was something Screech liked to do. Was Screech a type of janitor/unpaid bathroom attendant hybrid occasionally? Eating fart meals and working for tip tips couldn’t have been enough for him to subsist. So maybe he sometimes worked as both a janitor for wages and was an unpaid bathroom attendant on the side?
Ted, a question I’ve been pondering. Do you worry that this new generation of unpaid bathroom attendants may take jobs from your professional janitors? From reading these posts it seems not only will these up and coming Screech interns service the customers, but will also see to it that the bathroom remains clean, stocked, and tidy? I imagine eliminating a paid janitor job would be a reason a truck stop, or other establishment, would allow someone to live in their bathroom in a hammock, and accost their customers for tips? I know if I ran a truck stop and could eliminate a salary, and keep my clientele happy, I’d do it in a second.
Barf, those janitors willing got work for free are a disgrace to our industry. How sick and demented would one have to be to be willing to clean up urine and dookie stains on a toilet seat for free?? Some guys just enjoy being around random strangers taking loud dumps and ripping smelly farts. I don’t understand it myself, but there is a growing trend among perverts into this type of thing. However, their level of service is quite poor - I have heard stories about some of them showing up late and falling over and having homosexual seizures while jizzing their pants when hearing or smelling someone rip ass while sitting on a toilet seat. That type of guy leaves after getting his rocks off and doesn’t do a good job of keeping the bathroom tidy or well-stocked. Also, you need to remember that a lot of truckers aren’t gay and don’t want to have a creepy Jew-froed unpaid janitor leering at them while they are doing their business on the toilet.
I really like hanging out in bathrooms. Especially at truck stops as they are pretty busy 24/7. I love when there is an attendant to talk to. Many nights I go there to hang out and talk to truckers and the attendant, and I might watch a little YouTube on my phone. I’ve noticed a number of Screech attendants lately. Most are really weird and unprofessional. They huff dudes butts, and then roll around on the floor. Many times the floor is soaked in piss because they don’t bother cleaning it properly. I’m with Ted that true professionals do a better job, and don’t sexually harass the patrons. Also, the Screech attendants aren’t fun to talk to. They are more interested in yelling “Zoinks” or sniffing some dudes butthole.
Ted Simmons, were you also the head editor at “Unpaid Bathroom Attendant Digest”? I have been collecting magazines since the mid-1990s and have to say that “Janitors Illustrated” and “Unpaid Bathroom Attendant Digest” are two of my favorites. I remember when Screech was on the cover of the digest while wearing a little tuxedo and holding a large bowl of breath mints, toilet paper, soap, and tiny cologne bottles. I recall there being some nice articles about which breath mints to offer to bathroom patrons to get the best tips.
Ted, I notice many times the professional janitors close down the restroom they are cleaning, while the attendants leave them open. I don’t like that. I prefer the bathrooms stay open. One time I had to go really badly and was forced to use the ladies room. I had to go diarrhea really badly. Anyway, I rushed in and an obese woman started yelling as I ran into a stall and dropped trough. As I sprayed diarrhea she berated me and I called her a fat cow. Needless to say I was banned from that Arby’s.
Does anyone know if a Mr. Horton acts as an unpaid bathroom attendant? I am a huge fan of his, and it would be awesome if he gave away random pills and ice cream to dudes taking big dumps. I can’t think of anything better than spending an evening taking a dump, while eating a banana split with random pills mixed into it! Then after falling unconscious we could play “Neptune, King of the Sea” in a urinal! Please let me know if anyone is aware of this happening?
Mr. Horton Fanatic, would there be much demand for a creepy old man who shoves pills down your throat and then sexually violates you while you are completely unconscious? The type of dude who would be into this is the type who dresses up as Screech and is already working as an unpaid bathroom attendant! I personally prefer the type of weirdo who will eagerly let me rip nasty 10-second wet farts in his face while he moves his mouth like he’s pretending to “eat” the farts. As a straight man, it is ok if I butt-slam another man while I’m thinking about a woman, but I think that’s common sense. But I would not want to be on the receiving end of the butt-slamming, as that would be gay, without question.
I think it would be really cool to walk into a stall in a public bathroom, intentionally take a take a huge dump on the seat, walk out of the stall and then watch an unpaid bathroom attendant dressed as Screech clean up my mess. I would enjoy blowing my nose into his Jew-fro on onto his uniform shirt, or peeing on him while he is cleaning up. I would tip a couple nickels or even a quarter of change from my pocket for this service.
Fruitcake, I believe there would be a massive demand for Mr. Horton. In San Francisco we hold a Mr. Horton convention each year, and thousands of his biggest fans show up to eat banana splits, take pills, and watch dirty cartoons. We then do a nice bike ride in his honor. Mr. Horton was clearly railroaded by Mr. Drummond, and was a misunderstood character who never assaulted anyone. I believe he would keep a very tidy bathroom, and as an added bonus if one needed a bike repair you could go there, get your bike worked on, and take a nice dump while eating a banana split. I’m a totally straight man, but the idea of waking up in a urinal after accidentally ingesting some of Mr. Horton’s pills sounds both heterosexual and erotic!
Mr. Horton Fanatic, are there Mr. Horton unpaid bathroom attendants at any of the gay bathhouses in San Francisco? I bet that there would be high demand for that and patrons would probably pay good money to watch a Mr. Horton shove handfuls of pills down someone’s throat and then play “Neptune: King of the Sea” in a shower in front of everyone! There must also be “Mr. Horton night” at various gay bars where if you dress up as Mr. Horton you go get in without having to pay a cover charge.
Rest Stop, as a straight man I have visited numerous gay bathhouses out of curiosity. There were no Mr. Horton attendants, but there always were a few Mr. Horton’s in attendance. They would normally be accompanied by a “Dudley” and would frolick in the baths, downing copious amounts of pills, drinking wine, and playing “Neptune, King of the Sea”. I recall one amazing affair where the Mr. Horton had far too many glasses of wine and went dookie in a hot tub!
Dudley is a fine young deckhand & mr. horton and the gorton's fisherman are very much proponents of seafaring homo-sex.. 🌊🍆 - just like in the immortal words of styx, "cum sail away with me, lads.. 😝💦⚓"
I was in my Kenworth hauling a shipment down to Dallas from Washington state in during early November back in 2018 when I stopped at a truck stop in Oklahoma City to evacuate the contents of my bowels. As I walked into the men’s room, I heard the very conspicuous sound of butt-slamming and the stench of unwashed anus nearly overcame me! When I was inside the men’s room, I encountered a row of swivel chairs in which random dudes were sitting with their pants down around their ankles, furiously masturbating while watching a balding middle-aged slightly overweight white man pounding away at a black midget right in front of a row of urinals! I noticed that there was a t-shirt booth and they were selling “Diff’rent Strokes” t-shirts, one of which had an image of Mr. Horton holding a handful of pills, another showing Horton playing “Neptune: King of the Sea” with Dudley, as well as a shirt showing Mr. Belding playing “Neptune: King of the Sea” with Screech! The Belding and Screech shirt really seemed out of place, although several of them were sold just while I was standing there! I was informed that I had walked into on a Mr. Horton and Dudley theater reenactment show. It was one of the weirdest experiences of my life - I would have left because there was semen and piss all of the floor and the stench of anus was overwhelming. However, I really had to take one hell of a dump. I went into a stall and took care of business as fast as I could and then got the hell out of there!
Big Rig, that is one amazing story! I only wish I had stumbled on such an erotic scene. The smells, the sounds, the vivid imagery of wonderful Mr. Horton, and his longtime lover Dudley! I wonder if the T-shirt person was with the Mr. Horton? I bet he made a nice buck selling those shirts. One time in San Francisco I was walking to a Starbucks when I saw a Mr. Horton and Dudley ride by on a tandem bike. Someone cut them off causing a collision, and next thing I knew Mr. Horton and Dudley pounced on him! Mr. Horton quickly grabbed some pills from his pocket and shoved them into the guys mouth, while Dudley stole his wallet! Then the two lovers got back on their bike and pedaled away! It was a very hot scene and I remember getting highly aroused.
Mr. Horton Fanatic, I visited a rest stop an hour south of Sacramento, California back in summer 2018 and encountered a very strange scene. When I walked in, I was shocked to discover that all of the stall partitions/walls and doors had been removed, leaving a row of five toilets sitting in the room with zero privacy for the people sitting on them taking dumps! There were three men sitting on the toilets taking loud and stinky dumps in full view of everyone. There was also an unpaid bathroom attendant dressed up as Screech who was tending to the needs of the men on the toilets - he also provided words of encouragement and cheered them on each time he heard a fart or heard someone expel a turd into the toilet water. There was also someone dressed up as Corky who was apparently the Screech's boss. The Corky guy was yelling at the Screech for being too annoying and unprofessional and then grabbed the Screech by the Jew-fro and ripped an enormous fart in the Screech's face! The Corky guy then pulled down his pants and removed his diaper, which he wrapped around Screech's neck and strangled him while raping him! There was no Mr. Horton that day, but the Corky and the Screech provided much entertainment to the people sitting on the toilets taking huge dumps.
Hey gang, I just discovered that there was a tv show in the mid-1950s entitled, “Circus Boy.” One of the main characters was a kid named “Corky” who was in a circus! Interestingly, the actor who played Corky on that TV show was Mickey Dolenz, who later achieved far greater fame as one of the singers in the Monkees.
I think that Corky from “Life Goes On” could have also been in a circus and many people would pay to throw peanuts at him while he sits in a cage.
They'd also pay to fuck him in the ass too..
Anonymous, I would pay to watch Corky eat his own doodoo while he’s in his circus cage. They should also throw A-Rod into Corky’s cage once in awhile so Corky can have some fun going to town on A-Rod’s orifices.
Big Rig, that is one hot tale! It seems the country’s truck and rest stops are full of deviants. When you walk into one you never know what you will find. As a fan of SBTB I’m aware that in the last few seasons Corky was Screech’s boss. Screech being demoted to “unpaid bathroom attendant intern” with Corky over him as Mr. Beldings assistant. It was odd how the show focused so much on a former gifted student, who had deteriorated to where he left college to become Mr. Beldings intern, then sank so low he was demoted from that role and was relegated to manning a bathroom with Corky as his boss! Someone should do a forensic study of Screech to try and determine what happened. Did he contract Down’s syndrome? Did he have brain damage from all the various lessons he was taught. Or could it have been brain damage from the thousands of farts he inhaled? I believe a Nobel prize could be up for grabs!
Hi guys. I’m a long haul trucker. Back during Covid in 2020 I was driving from Seattle to Oklahoma City, and went through Reno. I stopped at a truck stop outside Reno and was met in the bathroom by Screech. That weirdo had a mask on for Covid protocols, but it was made by the Zubaz company, and seemed to be made of masking tape. It looked absurd, and didn’t cover most of his giant hook nose. It also seemed to prevent him from breathing properly. I chatted with him for a minute and he said he hated having to wear a mask as it really kept him from enjoying the fantastic smells of the bathroom, especially farts. I will say I was surprised he was there, as most things were shut down, and he even had his mints and cologne out on a separate tray away from everything else. He told me it had been pretty sparse and he wasn’t making much in tips, but that he was glad to have a place to live. I then noticed his hammock in one of the stalls. At that I got to business and dropped off a giant chud into the toilet, while Screech eyeballed me through a crack in the door. I then got the heck out of there, and didn’t leave a tip.
Art, some people need to have a fan running in the background in order to sleep at night. Other people listen to the sound of rain or even whales having noise to sleep. Screech, on the other hand, appeared to need to listen to random dudes ripping ass, spraying diarrhea, and flushing toilets in order to sleep in his hammock! I wonder whether the stench of anus and feces also helped him relax enough to sleep through the night?
Larry, Screech really was a strange fellow. During that time in 2020 most people were avoiding everyone in an attempt to prevent Covid. Screech decided that was the time to live in a truck stop restroom in a hammock! Breathing in the stink of dudes ripping nasty farts and spraying diarrhea nonstop. And there he would be in a hammock. His mask was multicolored like the Zubaz pants, but was obviously not an N95 and was made of some inferior plastic. It looked ridiculous and I doubt it provided any protection. I agree that the sounds and smells of the bathroom must have been like a lullaby to a baby. I’m hopeful he truly is hiding from creditors and is found somewhere. He needs to be studied like one would study a prehistoric man.
I was Screech’s guidance counselor when he was a student at Bayside High School in the class of 1993. When he was a freshman, Screech was a genius who was a straight-A student and he also built a talking robot named Kevin. We gave every student a career aptitude test when they were juniors. I would have thought that someone like Screech would have shown an aptitude for a math or science-related field and assumed he would want to be an engineer. However, Screech’s test results showed that his highest aptitude was for working in the fast food industry. And the test didn’t even project that he would be a manager! Instead, it showed that his aptitude was to be a janitor. I asked Screech about these results, and he said that he actually wanted to be a bathroom attendant because he liked to help people and liked being around people who were farting and spraying diarrhea so that could could offer a helping hand. Screech also said that he didn’t care about money and would be fine working for tips if he could sleep on the bathroom, like in a cot or hammock. I asked him whether the nasty stench of a bathroom were people were taking dumps would bother him, but his eyes lit up and he said he loved it. In my 30 years as a guidance counselor, I have to say that Screech was one of my most memorably weird students.
Dr. McCrotch, did the Bayside faculty know about the rumors of an illicit relationship between Screech and Belding when Screech was a student? Did Screech ever offer to be an unpaid bathroom attendant apprentice in the faculty bathroom? Screech was so annoying that there must have been quite a few teachers who would have enjoyed farting in his face and wiping their asses with his Jew-fro.
Lick me scurvy anus, boys and suck me balls..
I’m an old timer and before I retired from long haul trucking I’d hit the road and look forward to the next truck stop. Back in my day you’d look forward to a nice hot meal, a shower, and a clean bathroom. One day I pulled into a truck stop outside Spokane WA and saw a fruitcake with a giant Jew fro and multicolored pants. When I asked him what he was doing he yelled “Zoinks” then told me he was an unpaid bathroom attendant, there to help me take a piss or a dump. I told that guy I didn’t need any help with either of those things, and he should get a real job instead of hanging around a bathroom like a weirdo. He just made some silly face at me as I walked to a urinal. Mid piss I ripped what I’d call a church house squeaker, and next thing I know that Screech guy has his beak nose buried in my ass. Well, I may be old, but I kicked him in the face with a nice donkey kick, leaving my boot print on his face. He fell over into a puddle of piss and convulsed like a fish out of water. I got out of there, and called my wife Marge to tell her what I’d just seen. I retired the very next day. I knew my time was up, and things had changed. I wanted no part of a trucking world where a weirdo like that could be a part of it. What a disgrace!
Pops, Screech was even more demented than you may be aware. My friend’s cousin worked for the Hasbro toy company a few years ago when Mr. Belding and Screech contacted the company with an idea for various toys and a puzzle. Mr. Belding explained that Screech’s hook nose lines up perfectly with a typical man’s ass crack, just like two interlocking puzzle pieces! Mr. Belding said that that Hasbro should sell action figures which looked like he, Zack, Slater, Coach Sonski, Corky, Zack’s dad, Hound Dog, and Lisa Turtle. Mr. Belding said that all of the action figures would wear pants which can be pulled down to show their asses. Mr. Belding also said that Screech’s action figure would have a huge hook nose which fit into the ass crack of each of the other action figures. Mr. Belding also said that there should be a bathroom playset with several stalls and urinals where the Screech toy would be working as an unpaid bathroom attendant.
Mr. Belding also said that Hasbro should release a toy Matchbox-like car of Screech’s rusty late 1970s Gremlin or his 1980s Yugo, which should also be rusty. Belding also said that it would be cool to release a 500-piece puzzle where the competed puzzle shows Corky butt-slamming Screech while Mr. Belding munches on a huge slice of deep dish pizza while farting in Screech’s face!
During the meeting, Screech kept annoying the Hasbro employee by saying, “Zoinks” every 5-10 seconds. The Hasbro employee said that it wasn’t something they could do since they have a family-friendly focus. Mr. Belding got mad and blamed Screech for screwing up the deal and then butt-slammed Screech in the stairwell after he meeting!
Ass Breath, we were very interested in Mr. Belding’s idea, and some of us felt we could enter into a new market with this idea. We are currently limited to children. We would love for adults who love adult board games etc to see Hasbro as an option for fun toys. Unfortunately Screech was so annoying with his constant “Zoinks” as well as his foul odor and absurd appearance, we couldn’t imagine the torture it would have been working with him. Later that day I went to the bathroom on my floor and found Screech manning he bathroom as an unpaid bathroom attendant. He had out a little tip hat. When I told him I had just had a meeting with him, and he needed to leave he told me Mr. Belding and Corky had abandoned him, so he was plying his trade to try and make bus fare. This annoyed me and I farted right in his face then called security who tossed him out on his ass. I heard he spent a few weeks in town at the bus station trying to scrounge up tips in the bathroom. He was a total freak. I’m not sure why professionals like Mr. Belding and Corky even associated with him.
I would love to get my hands on those toys. I hate Screech, and was a huge fan of Leon Corosi. Getting to jam Screech’s nose into Mr. Corosi’s giant ass would be a huge turn on. I of course would make fart sounds as I did this, but it would be even cooler if the toys made fart sounds on their own! I would also like to see a puzzle with Corky butt-slamming A-Rod!
Guys, I’m currently watching the Seahawks/Bucs game and a Seahawk just scored a touchdown. What caught my eye was the name on the players jersey was “Horton”. Now obviously it wasn’t Mr. Horton or Dudley. But the guy was black, making me wonder if it could be either a love child or Mr. H and Dudley, or an adopted child of theirs?! He did look quite a bit like Dudley, and when he went to the sidelines I saw him eating a banana split before shoving what I think was a handful of pills down the throat of a teammate! Let me know what you think!
I forgot to mention that another toy which Mr. Belding had suggested to the Hasbro executive was a Screech doll with a button on its head. Whenever you press the button, the Screech doll says, “Zoinks!” The Screech doll was meant to be about ten inches tall and had a huge poofy Jew-fro. It was dressed in a yellow suit coat and red Zubaz pants. Needless to say, Hasbro wasn’t interested. They thought it might sell as a gag gift to annoy the crap out of the recipient, but had no other value…
Ass Breath, that sounds like an amazing toy. I could see an entire line of them. People of all ages would love playing with a Mr. Belding doll that belched and farted when you pressed a button. The same would go for Corky. One could have hours of fun having Mr. Belding belch in Screech’s face, then Screech yell “Zoinks” before Corky ripped a wet fart on Screech’s nose, causing another “Zoinks”. I think that’s the part Mr. Belding and the Hasbro executives missed. Screech alone would be super annoying, just randomly yelling “Zoinks”. But if paired with Mr. Belding or Corky who were farting and belching in his face it would be hysterical! I think it would be a smash hit with both adults and children as everyone finds farts and belches funny. Especially when they’re aimed at Screech who can merely utter “Zoinks”.
Hi everyone. My man recently retired from playing professional sports and is really depressed. He was once a superstar making a lot of money, and this year no one wanted him. It was kind of fun as we had more time to engage in our hobbies, which mainly consist of him gorging himself with deep dish pizza, then blasting ass in my face. But he got more and more depressed as the season went on. Now that he’s officially retired I want him to partner with me in my door dash business. I have a lovely geo metro I deliver food in. My partner has helped me in the past, and I want him to do that full time with me. He said he doesn’t like riding around all day delivering food he can’t eat, and instead just lays around our apartment like a slob. He doesn’t even want to do our annual trip to Arizona where we live in a truck stop restroom for a few months while door dashing. Lately he has been eating more than ever and is getting humongous. I can’t complain as his farts stink worse then ever, but our lovemaking is starting to get stale, and he can barely skip with me anymore. The other day we skipped about 10 yards and he was out of breath, then ripped a nasty fart. I’m hoping this fine board might have some tips to spice things up?
S Bartman, Anthony Rizzo made more than $100 million playing professional baseball. Why would you think he would want to deliver Door Dash or Uber Eats now that he's retired from the game??? Are you sure you that he doesn't simply view you as "road ass"? Maybe there are other guys just like you in cities across the country who he butt-slams and feeds his "fart meals." I think he used to date Kris Bryant when they were both on the Cubs. Kris Bryant received a long and expensive contract from the Rockies, but he really stinks now and the Rockies might release him and eat the remaining $80 million on his contract. If Anthony really is your boyfriend, maybe he'd feel better if you and he traveled to Colorado to see Kris. He and Kris could had a sword-fight before spit-roasting you and then taking tag-team dumps on your head and farting in your face for hours on end!
Fruity, your comments are very hurtful and unhelpful. Anthony and I have been together since 2016, and hav been living together ever since. We have travelled the country numerous times, and have been inseparable. I am not “road ass” as you claim. Kris Bryant was a one or two time fling back when Anthony and I had just met and he hadn’t even ripped ass in my face at that point. I think he’s just depressed his playing days are over, and he will never hear fans cheering for him when he blasts a home run. Now his days are spent watching the Price is Right, eating taco bell and Pizza Hut, and ripping mammoth farts. After a grueling season Anthony used to be excited to head to Arizona to hang out on the truck stop bathroom scene, where we were treated as celebrities. To make ends meet I’d door dash on the side and Anthony would assist. It was so much fun! Today I got dressed to head to do some dashing, and Anthony was passed out on the couch with Mr. Belvedere blasting on the TV. 4 large empty pizza boxes were on the floor. When I woke him and asked if he wanted to come with me he just grunted, then pushed out a nasty wet fart. I nearly started crying as I started my geo metro. I need tips on how to get him back on the horse and full of life and vigor!
S Bartman, I’m sorry to hear you’re having man problems. I’ve seen you and Anthony out and about a few times in the Chicago area and felt you were an adorable couple. I remember catching you two at an outdoor skating rink a few winters ago, and as Anthony was skating while eating a slice of pepperoni pizza you were kneeled down behind him huffing his farts, then licking his butthole! Another time I saw you and he holding hands and skipping down the street near the water tower. I loved when Anthony stopped mid skip and pressed your head to his ass before ripping a loud fart. It brought a tear to my eye how romantic that was! I think you need to let Anthony process his retirement as this must be a big change for him. I’m sure he misses the locker room, and clubhouse showers. Maybe remind him a truck stop bathroom and shower scene could be a good fit that would remind him of his cherished MLB memories. Good luck!
Fucking idiots..
Anonymous, I worked for several years as a U.S. Attorney in the DC office, policing thought crimes during the Biden administration until I was recently fired. Now that I have serious free time, I am going to focus on you and stopping the type of anti-LGBT hate which you post here. There are many gay fantasies posted here and quite a few gay men lurk here reading stories in the privacy of their homes while rubbing one out. How dare you refer to these people as “fucking idiots”! You have defamed the entire gay community and will be held legally responsible
Bartman, I remember seeing you and Anthony Rizzo walk into the Taco Bell which used to be across the street from Wrigley Field back in 2017 after a game. Anthony ordered like 10 tacos and a huge cup of Mountain Dew: Baja Blast. I remember this distinctly because you and he were standing right in front of me in line. You were wearing a Cubs baseball cap and huge 1980s-style headphones. Anthony was still in his Cubs uniform. It looked like you stuck your hand into his front pocket to get his wallet, although I always thought you were playing pocket pool with Anthony. After sitting down at a table, Anthony started shoveling tacos into his mouth, which he washed down with huge gulps of the Mountain Dew. At one point he stood up from your table, and walked across the table to where you were sitting and then ripped a loud 8-second fart in your face which really stunk! You started having some type of homosexual convulsion as you jizzed your pants in extreme pleasure from the stench of Anthony’s potent fart! It certainly appeared as though you were deeply in love with Anthony at that time. However, there were many rumors about him cheating on you with other Cubs players, including his BFF Kris Bryant, as well as various janitors/custodians who worked at Wrigley Field. Did you and Anthony have an open gay relationship? I remember hearing that he married a woman, so what’s that all about???
Larry, I really miss that Taco Bell and was devastated when it closed. Anthony and I went there regularly after Cubs home games to eat and engage in some amorous behavior. He was dating Kris Bryant before we met, but has been completely faithful to me ever since. I did get worried during my time in New York as Giancarlo Stanton would call him in the middle of the night, and I could have sworn I heard a few loud farts when Anthony would pick up. Anthony pretended to get married and told reporters about it as most people wouldn’t understand how a star ball player would wind up in a hot relationship with the guy most known for interfering with a play during a Cubs playoff game. In order to keep our relationship out of the papers Anthony pretended to get married to some hosebag. But instead of a honeymoon he and I toured Chicago’s finest pizza parlors and skipped down the magnificent mile! Tonight we are going to the Cubs playoff game at Wrigley for old times sake. I’m dressing in my usual outfit I’ve worn daily since the infamous Cubs playoff game and Anthony is going to wear his old Cubs uniform. We will be sitting in the outfield bleachers and if it’s chilly Anthony will rip farts to keep me warm!
Bartman, do you think Jason Heyward should get into the Hall of Fame solely for his inspirational belching into the buttholes of the 2016 World Series champion Cubs team? After that he scored a huge contract that he never lived up to. I for one think there should be a statue in Cooperstown of this, along with an exhibit that shares one of baseballs most important moments in time. It would be fantastic if they could get the team together so Heyward could reenact his anus belch that drove the team to success, and I believe got you a World Series ring! Does Anthony ever talk about this moment? My son plays little league, and other parents get annoyed and think I’m weird when I mention how the team just needs a “Jason Heyward” to belch in a few buttholes to get the team motivated.
I was watching some baseball last night, and saw A Rod was on. Why anyone would want to listen to him is beyond me. But I noticed that off screen I could hear what I believe was a loud fart, followed by some belching. Then I heard some loud chewing of what sounded like chips of some kind. I have a buddy who lived in NYC and he told me he saw A Rod, Corky, and Mr. Belding in Times Square around 1am. Mr. Belding was eating an entire pizza, while Corky had a drunk with one of those weird straws that bend all over the place. A Rod was wearing his old Yankees uniform for some unknown reason. Has anyone else spotted them in NYC?
John, at least A-Rod is a former top baseball player who played for the Yankees, so it kind of makes sense he would be a broadcaster, although I’m sure there are other former Yankees who would be far better in that role. But I always thought it was really strange when A-Rod would show up as a guest on Shark Tank. What the hell does A-Rod know about running a business, investing in businesses, or being a business mentor? Maybe if the business was somehow related to baseball, it might make sense. But it was so strange to see him randomly appear on that show as a “guest shark.” I wonder whether Mark Cuban and Mr. Wonderful pressed their bare asses against A-Rod’s face and ripped stinky farts while random shoe contestants leered while pleasuring themselves???
Joe Baseball, I think my point is of the thousands of former players couldn’t they find someone who didn’t cheat, and doesn’t now date Corky, to be a broadcaster? A Rod likely is a terrible businessman, but he lucked into one of the greatest deals of all times. A few years back he and a business partner came to an agreement with Glen Taylor to buy the Minnesota Timberwolves. They were to do this with a series of payments over a few years, where they would gain more and more equity until they controlled the team. During this short period the teams valuation went from approx $2B to $4B, in essence doubling A Rod’s money before the deal was even completed. Taylor tried to weasel out of the deal when he realized this but lost. Who knows how much A Rod actually invested, as although he’s wealthy he certainly isn’t a billionaire. Once the value went up they easily found new investors like Michael Bloomberg and others to complete the purchase and fund the team properly. My guess is somehow this has made people think A Rod is some financial genius. Those of us in the know know he invested so he could gain access to the NBA locker rooms. When it comes to baseball why can’t they get someone like Chipper Jones (who I personally dislike but respect) or another actual HOF inductee, instead of A Rod? A Rod has been doing this for a few years now, even when the Yankees weren’t one of the teams involved. I’d rather Corky filled in for him and gave us his insight.
A broadcast team of A-Rod, Corky and Mr. Belding would be great, even if the sole purpose of Corky and Mr. Belding would simply be to eat pizza, tacos, and other junk food before belching and farting in A-Rod's face! I envision A-Rod giving some generic analysis when Corky suddenly flies into a 'tard rage and starts pummeling A-Rod before shoving A-Rod's face into the seat of Mr. Belding's pants. Mr. Belding would then rip a 10-second stinky fart, causing A-Rod to yelp, "Zoinks!" while everyone watching at home laughs hysterically!
Flapjack, I think that’s a wonderful idea. Most times the announcers are really boring and offer next to nothing to the broadcast. They definitely aren’t entertaining. If I could watch a game where as Ohtani crushed a home run I heard a massive fart, and A-Rod yell “Zoinks”, I wouldn’t miss a second!
Earlier today I was watching an old episode of SBTB. It was Screech’s 18th birthday and the gang was at his house. Mrs. Powers wheeled out a giant cake and told Screech she had a surprise for him. Then “you ain’t nothing but a hound dog” started blasting and a beefcake Elvis impersonator popped out and began grinding all over Screech! The girls swooned over the impersonator, while the guys all called Screech a huge faggot. During this Hound Dog seemed annoyed and peed all over the cake, before Mr. Belding and the Elvis impersonator pressed their asses to Screech’s face and ripped ass. I have to say I didn’t know what the hell that had to do with SBTB but it was pretty funny.
Tastykake, I remember seeing that episode years ago and it was pretty funny. Do you remember when Mrs. Powers also said that she cooked a roast for the party and then pulled out a huge pan which Hound Dog on it, which she had cooked? Remember how Screech started crying and everyone laughed and said Screech was a stupid faggot? The strange thing is that there two Hound Dogs in that episode - one which peed on the cake and another one which was cooked. It didn’t make any sense! Later in the episode, Slater dressed up in a Hound Dog costume and Zack dressed up as Becky the Duck. Then Slater slugged Screech in the gut, causing him to fall over while struggling to breathe. Slater and Zack then spit-roasted Screech while wearing those costumes!
Diesel, that episode was just ridiculous. Why on earth would Mrs. Powers cook and serve Hound Dog, when just a few episodes earlier she had tasked Screech with taking care of Hound Dog while she went off to Graceland with some guys she’d met at a truck stop? Also, why would she hire a male escort to dress as Elvis and grind against her 18 year old son as his birthday gift? It was all very strange. An Easter Egg that I caught was on the mantle there was a framed picture of Mr. Horton and Dudley. Another picture was one of Screech on a train while some old guy in a conductors uniform pressed his ass to Screech’s head. One other scene I found amusing was Zack waiting to go to the bathroom, then Scud came out along with a giant cloud of smoke. Scud then said “I wouldn’t go in there” as a wave of stench hit Zack. Then we saw a flood of water pour out on the floor and saw the toilet was overflowing. The writers really worked their craft on that episode.
Hi there & happy almost halloween, losers.. you guys are almost like vampires, but instead of drinking of each other's blood, you digest each other's diarrhea.. hahahaha!!! Aye Carrumba..
Bart, last Halloween I was at a truck stop party and actually saw someone dressed as Bart Simpson. They were huffing farts from a dude who came as JT Lambert from the 90’s show “Step by Step”. Was that you?!
Tastykake, I remember that scene where an elderly train conductor pressed his ass against Screech’s face and cut a fart! I think Screech took too long to show his train ticket, so the conductor got mad and farted in his face! I also liked the scene where Screech was sitting in the aisle seat of the last row on an airplane and a long line of people were standing while waiting to use the bathroom and they kept farting in Screech’s face!
Diesel, the writers really seemed to enjoy putting Screech in scenarios where he’d annoy random people he’d never met before, who would respond by ripping ass in Screecy’s face. What I always enjoyed was instead of bystanders being disgusted by someone farting in another’s face, they would always cheer it on. Screech really seemed to annoy everyone. The airplane scene is perfect. Screech was just sitting in his coach class seat, which happened to be by the bathroom. But his mere presence annoyed many people in line to use the bathroom. They responded by ripping ass in his face, which of course caused him to yell “Zoinks”. A normal person would react angrily and likely punch someone who farted in their face. Screech would just yell “Zoinks”. I loved that the writers made this a major part of nearly every episode.
Tastykake, you raised a good point about how Screech’s reaction to people farting in his face is not normal. A normal man you start throwing punches, yell, or even dole out some farts of his own. Screech’s response was merely to say “Zoinks” in an annoying way! If someone stole his car or burned down his house, Screech would probably just say, “Zoinks,” but wouldn’t retaliate in kind. Screech was a real weirdo and loser!
I just saw an absurd episode of SBTB. In it the kids were all finding out if they had been accepted to the colleges they applied to. Mr. Belding called Screech to his office where he said the admissions deans of the schools Screech had applied to were there in person to let him know of their decisions. Screech of course yelled “Zoinks” at this and Mr. Belding had him sit in a chair. Then, one by one, the deans of admission from a dozen schools came to Screech and either belched, or farted, in his face. Each time this elicited a “Zoinks “ from Screech, and the laugh track would roar. The other kids for some reason were also invited to watch this spectacle, and in the end it was revealed Zack and Mr. Belding had tricked Screech, and thrown his applications in the trash. The “Deans” were just homeless vagrants they had paid $1 each to burp and fart in Screech’s face. Screech yelled “Double Zoinks” at this and began crying which annoyed Mr. Belding. He ripped a nasty fart right in Screech’s face, then butt-slammed him while the rest of the gang came by to rip as on Screech’s nose. I guess at the end of the day this is why Screech wound up at Cal U, then back as Mr. Beldings unpaid assistant. They really screwed over Screech that time!
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