Here are a couple AI-generated images of Mr. Horton, the lovable bicycle shop owner from "Diff'rent Strokes" who ended up dating Dudley, the best friend of Arnold Drummond.
In the first image, Mr. Horton and Dudley are walking past a men's room in a public park while Mr. Horton is holding a banana split in one hand and a bottle of pills in the other hand.
In the second image, Mr. Horton is playing chess with Screech while Screech gazes lovingly into Mr. Horton's eyes. Mr. Horton has a bottle of pills on the table, making it seem as though he is waiting for the prime opportunity to shove a handful of those pills down Screech's throat!
88 comments:
Mr. Horton really packed on a few pounds. I love how he wears shirts with his name on them! That picture of him playing chess with Screech is amazing. Screech definitely should have used Mr. Horton in his chess video. I for one would have loved to see Screech with a belly full of pills, then forced to play a few rounds of “Neptune King of the Sea” with Mr. H! If Screech had catered more to his queer fans that chess video could have been a smash hit!
Dudley must be in his 50s by now, yet he still looks like he’s maybe just 10 or 12 years old?
Also, Screech looks like he’s deeply in love with Mr. Horton in that chess photo. Did Mr. Horton show Screech a new chess move which involved Screech’s anus in the shower?
Back in 2015 I had the displeasure of having Screech as a client. He came in because he had a number of teeth that were hurting, and told my staff he hadn’t been to a dentist in over 15 years. When I examined him I noticed his breath smelled like a ripe butthole, and his teeth were in terrible shape. When I asked him how often he brushed his teeth he said never, then told me that “Mr. Belding regularly farted into his mouth and he had told him that was like a dental cleaning”. I told him I’d never heard that before and there was no truth to it. I then told him his mouth was ridden with cavities and he would need a ton of work if he wanted to save his teeth. He then asked how much money it would cost as he had no insurance. When I told him I couldn’t give him a total, but that he was looking at many thousands of dollars just to get started he yelled “Zoinks” then asked if he could pay me in autographed “Dustin Diamond Teaches Chess” DVD’s. When I told him I couldn’t, but that we did accept credit cards, he told me the only credit card he had was the “Zubaz Card” and it only had a $15 limit. At that I gave him some info on a dental clinic that I knew did work for the indignant. He thanked me and I never saw him again.
Steve, I’m not surprised that Screech would tell you that eating Mr. Belding’s farts would prevent tooth decay. Do you that Screech actually believed that, or did he say that because he was embarrassed about enjoying swallowing fart meals??
No, he feasted on those farts, savoring the flavor for all it was worth and then wanking his limp noodle and cumming all over mr. drummond's old, sagging and liver-spotted ass-cheeks.
I rode a bike through Central Park in New York City when I was a kid in the early 1990s and I would often see Mr. Horton and Dudley. They were almost always wearing shirts which had their names printed on them, which was always kind of unusual. It seemed as though they wanted everyone to remember them from "Diff'rent Strokes" to celebrate their illicit love affair. I remember them riding on a tandem bike, although they sometimes rode individual bikes.
Rim Goblin, I have no idea if that idiot believed someone farting into his mouth would clean his teeth. I think he was just too lazy to be bothered brushing his teeth and made it up, but who knows. My friend who volunteered at the free dental clinic told me Screech came in with Mr. Belding. They were going to work on a few teeth and told Screech they were going to give him some anesthesia. That goblin insisted Mr. Belding would help him, then Mr. Belding came in and pressed his ass to Screech’s face before ripping an enormous fart. Screech began convulsing in extreme pleasure and jizzed himself, while my friend left the room to get some fresh air. He told me Screech was annoyed he hadn’t done the work while he was “under the gas” and left without getting anything done. My buddy told me he was pretty sure Screech had molded a small piece of fecal matter and was using it as a tooth. I was so glad he never returned to my office.
I was on a public bus in Reno, NV a few years ago when I saw Screech get on and sit down. He was listening to an iPod and had the corded earbuds in his ears, so I assumed that he was listening to music. I sat down next to him and asked what he was listening to and he replied, “Mr. B’s greatest hits.” I wasn’t familiar with that group, so I asked if I could listen and he replied that I could and told him I had my own set of earbuds I could use. Screech replied that it was cool with him and then I plugged my earbuds into his iPod. To my surprise, “Mr. B’s greatest hits” was just a collection of recordings of Mr. Belding ripping ass, belching, eating, and Burt-slamming Screech! What was that all about??
I want to know why Dudley is so short? Did he take after his loser father and begin smoking cigarettes when he was 10? Why does he look like he’s 12 when he’s well into his fifties? I wonder if those pills Mr. Horton gave him contained some kind of fountain of youth?! I personally have never run into those lovebirds in person, but I did run into Screech one time. He was standing on the side of a main road near my home. He was at a traffic light and when traffic would stop for the light he would hold up a sign that said “buttslam me for $1”. He was wearing filthy Zubaz pants and had a massive Jew fro. I only saw him there that one time and I doubt he had any takers. I did see people throwing trash at him, and beeping their horns, while yelling that he was a huge faggot.
I saw Screech open up for Corey Feldman back in 2012. This was at a local Pizza parlor. I showed up to pick up a pizza for my family and Screech was on a little stage telling some bad jokes. As I waited for my pizza Screech rambled on with jokes about Mr. Belding being overweight, and how Mr. Belding would eat all of our pizzas if he was there. It was really lame and like 3 people were actually at tables watching. All of a sudden Mr. Belding appeared while eating a slice of pepperoni pizza and walked up to the stage. Screech looked surprised and yelled “Zoinks”. A second later Mr. Belding slugged Screech in the gut, then grabbed him by the Jew fro and pressed his ass to Screech’s face, then ripped an insanely loud fart that lasted for at least 8 seconds. Mr. Belding then announced Corey Feldman who came out of the tiny bathroom dressed in Michael Jackson garb. As Corey began singing some horrible song Mr. Belding drug Screech into the bathroom where we could all hear some loud buttslamming. It was a strange night but I got a good laugh out of it.
It is funny that Screech was so self-deluded that he actually thought people would give him money when he begged for it or thought people wanted to see his stand-up. He should have capitalized on his fame in a different way by charging to let people fart in his face, or listen to him being viciously butt-slammed by Mr. Belding or other people. I’m sure that if he charged for a “performance art” exhibition in which he dressed up as Becky the Duck and then someone dressed as Zack Morris gave him a loud butt-slamming, he could have sold out a string of shows and made some decent money.
Smiddy, you’re correct in your assessment. I had no interest in seeing Screech’s standup comedy, but did enjoy watching Mr. Belding rip a fart in his face. Thankfully soon after my pizza was done so I was able to leave, but as I did the butt-slamming could still be heard. Had Screech been there and charged $5 or less to fart in his face I would have done that in a second. I could have filmed myself ripping one in Screech’s face, then shared it with my friends and family. Even though my last name is Butthole I’m not a gay man and wouldn’t have paid to listen to Mr. Belding butt-slam him. But it was kind of funny.
Brett, there would have been a huge line of people who would have willingly and eagerly paid $5 apiece for the opportunity to rip ass in Screech’s face. Like you, I’m totally hetero. That being said, I think I would enjoy sitting naked on Screech’s face and dropping ass, forcing him to smell m nastiest farts!
Brett, Screech should have set up a dunk tank booth like at a carnival. Normally someone sits on a bench above a big tank of water and if someone hits a target with a ball, that person would fall into the water. However, in Screech’s case, it could have been a tank of toilet water with feces floating in it. I know I would certainly have paid $1 to throw a ball at a target while Screech sat in a bench above filthy and diseased toilet water! Imagine all of the turds in his Jew-fro after a day of that, but he could have raked in hundreds of dollars humiliating himself in this way!
Smiddy, I like how you’re thinking! That would have been a true money making machine. You could also install Porta-potties above the height of the dunk tank. Then you could run basic plumbing from the toilets directly into the dunk tank. Once complete you’d be able to charge customers to use the Porta-potties and all of their piss and dookie would run down the plumbing and drop right into the dunk tank. People watching would cheer when a giant turd dropped into the tank. I know I’d have taken my entire family and would have made sure I didn’t take a dump for a few days beforehand. I’d eat all kinds of garbage so when I finally released my bowels a disgusting stew would be released. Then my son who plays little league could throw balls to try and drop Screech into my toxic ass sludge! What an amazing family activity! Of course there would also be deranged weirdos who would get off on seeing Screech with his Jew-fro full of turds. I hope if he’s still out there hiding in the woods he reads this idea and comes out of hiding. He could make a mint just traveling to town fairs each summer!
Goddammned bitches.
Brett, I would also pay a little extra for the opportunity to comb Screech’s Jew-fro with a toilet brush after he’s fallen into that diseased toilet water. Screech could have even charged extra to let people comb his hair with their own personal toilet brushes. I’m sure that many people would bring in toilet brushes filled with diarrhea stains to brush Screech’s Jew-fro! Screech was sitting on a gold mine and was oblivious to these money-making schemes which required little effort from him other than a willingness to humiliate himself.
I love it Smiddy. Screech could make a fortune just allowing himself to be humiliated. I’m the summer he could clean up with the dunk tank idea. In the off season he could do meet and greets where people could fart in his face for $5. His standup was dumb, and no one wanted to see that. But if I could go somewhere close to my home, and get a video of myself farting on his hook nose for $5 id do it in a second. He could likely have made extra money by selling DVD’s of Mr. Belding ripping ass, belching on, or buttslamming him.
Brett, Screech I’m sure that there were tens of thousands of people who grew up watching Saved By The Bell who hated the Screech character and would have gladly ponied up $5 to rip ass in Screech’s face. Both straight and gay guys would definitely be into this. He could have also charged for a subscription service, like for a live webcam show where live video of people farting in his face would be broadcast around the world. Screech could have really cleaned up and all he needed to do was show a little bit of effort while having absolutely no pride or dignity.
It would have been cool if Screech was handcuffed to a huge board which had a hole through which Screech’s head would extend, like what someone would stand in at a pie-throwing stand at a carnival. However, instead of throwing pies, anyone who bought a ticket to this carnival “game” could instead elect to walk up to Screech and fart or belch in his face! There would also be a plate of dog turds which could be purchased so that someone could throw a handful of dog turds at Screech! Also because Screech would be handcuffed to the pie throwing stand board, someone could pay extra to sneak up behind Screech and butt-slam him while someone else throws dog turds at Screech’s face. Think about how much money Screech could have made from this…
If I had had Screech I would have been a billionaire. I would have teamed him up with the bearded lady, who would have queefed in his face over and over. Customers would have lined up for miles to rip ass, or belch into the face of the “human gargoyle”! Screech didn’t even realize how wealthy he could have been had he just catered to what his audience truly desired. That being to humiliate and laugh at him. Instead he tried to do what he wanted, without any insight into what his audience wanted. Thus he was always broke.
PT Barnum, I know that I would gladly fork over some cash to see the “Human Gargoyle” who enjoys feasting on stinky fart meals! I would loiter around his cage all day just to watch hundreds of visitors belch and fart in his face for hours on end!
I believe Screech would have created a modern renaissance within the freak circuit. At one time freaks were extremely profitable and were in traveling circus’s and fairs. A man who eats farts as “The Human Gargoyle” would have been my all time greatest achievement. Far greater than an alligator man, or conjoined twins like Chang and Eng. The public would have loved pressing their butts to Screech’s face and feeding him a nice fart, or eating Doritos then belching in his face, causing Dorito particles to pelt his face and stick in his Jew-fro. Gaylord, as you mentioned, I would also charge a modest fee to view this activity. Once in you’d be able to stay as long as you’d like. I think some people would be mesmerized watching such a deviant gobble up farts. I can just see the giant poster advertising him hanging on the midway.
PT Barnum, you could have also had Mr. Belding as “The Fattest Man on Earth.” You could have shown Mr. Belding shoving pizza and handfuls of Doritos and cookies into his mouth, washing it down with Mountain Dew. After partially digesting the food, Mr. Belding would feed “The Human Gargoyle” Screech by ripping ass into his mouth!
Gaylord, I believe that would be an outstanding addition! As long as they kept things PG my audiences would love it. There couldn’t be any butt-slamming or other tawdry activities, as families would want to bring their children to view the “Human Gargoyle” to teach them that’s what happens if you don’t do well in school, and mind your parents. Imagine the wonderful scare children would get if they knew misbehaving and doing poorly in school could cause them to spend the rest of their lives looking like a goblin and eating farts! There could also be a lesson involving nutrition as I’m sure none of the kids would want to be a giant fatso who constantly devoured trash and spent his days farting in the “Gargoyle’s” mouth.
I just realized that Corky turned 60 on Tuesday. Does anyone know what Corky did to celebrate? I bet his best buddy, Mr. Belding, planned something fun. I envision Mr. Belding spraying an enormous amount of diarrhea into A-Rod’s sock drawer before wiping his ass with A-Rod’s silk pillows to entertain Corky and then they split a huge chocolate cake before Corky butt-slammed A-Rod while Mr. Belding drank several 2-liters and Mountain Dew and unleashed several 10-second belches to cheer Corky on.
Corky Fanatic, I would welcome Corky to my menagerie. I would bill him as the “world’s smartest ‘tard” and he could regale the crowds with tales of how A-Rod is a giant faggot while making enormous dookies in his diet. Corky could also tell stories of his life on the set of “Life Goes On”, as well as his post show troubles when he fell in with the evil DeMasi twins and became a hooker loving coke head. I think my audiences would go wild to see him at 60 and I could sell many “I ❤️Corky” t-shirts! I’d also charge a nominal fee to get to see Corky and hear his amazing stories!
PT Barnum, I would definitely like to see Corky at your circus. I would love to hear his tales and it would be cool if he made a giant dookie while in the middle of telling a story, to the point at which his diaper starts overflowing with doodoo. Now that would be entertaining!
Hey guys. I’m glad you’ve been enjoying my great grandfathers posts. I’m thinking of bringing back my families circus, but instead of having animals I’d just have a freak show with people like Screech, Corky, and Mr. Belding. I’m sure there are a number of washed up former celebrities who would do anything for a payday and would happily be a part of my freak show. I think I could make entrance free and have lots of food vendors to really ramp up my revenue. Then customers would pay to see and possibly interact with the freaks. $5 to fart in Screech’s face after a $1 entrance fee. $5 to ask Corky a question with a $1 entrance fee. Mr. Belding would also cost $1 to see, and a $5 fee to choose which food you’d like to see him gobble up. I’m open to suggestions for other washed up celebrities and what their talents could be. Families would really appreciate the relatively inexpensive entertainment that would teach their children important life lessons.
Grandson of PR Barnum, will there be a Mr. Horton in the freakshow, or is that just not family-friendly enough? There should be an exhibit where he shows how manages to play "Neptune: King of the Sea" with all of his young lovers. He could ply Screech with a banana split and then shove a handful of pills down Screech's throat to make everyone laugh.
Horton Fan, I know over the years Mr. Horton has become a beloved character, with many asserting he was railroaded by Mr. Drummond. I believe we could fit him in as a cautionary tale to children and their families. I could set up an exhibit where he could show how he would fool people into playing “Neptune:King of the Sea” so families could have an open discussion on stranger danger. I might even make that exhibit free to enter. The idea he could then ply his trade on Screech is magnificent. The crowd would love a short break from watching people feed Screech farts. Mr. Horton could do a family friendly live act of him feeding Screech a banana split, then jamming pills down Screech’s throat until he passed out! We would have to stop the action at that point but the lesson would have been learned. I think adding Mr. Horton would be well received.
Grandson of PT Barnum, I hope you don’t exclude Dudley. It would really add to the family friendly atmosphere to see Mr. Horton, and his lover Dudley, riding around your circus on a tandem bike! It’s really tugging at my heart strings just thinking about it.
Hey gang, there is actually a restaurant in Richmond, Virginia named “Jew-fro.” The menu items look fairly expensive and I noticed a complete lack of the type of food Screech enjoyed munch on. For example, there is no “baked ass” or “diarrhea soufflé” on the menu for some strange reason! https://www.jewfrorestaurant.com/
Jew-Fro, that is one of the dumbest concepts ever. Who wants to eat Jewish and African fusion? And imagine inviting your friends to go to “Jew-fro” for dinner? One would think they could attract more people with a deranged hobo “Screech” menu with items like “baked ass” or a “fart flambé” where a fat waiter would rip ass in your face while holding up a lighter, creating a nice fireball of farts for one to eat!
Choppers, I read somewhere that at the Jew-Fro restaurant, you can order matzo ball soup and then wash it down with a large cup of grape soda. However, I heard that none of the waiters have huge Jew-fros or wear Zubaz, so it is a huge disappointment.
That Jewfro restaurant should tire a team of delivery men to dress up in a Screech outfit with a huge greasy Jew-fro and while wearing Zubaz pants pulled up to their nipples like Screech would do. They could do tag team deliveries, where a “Screech” delivery guy is teamed with a big fat balding guy dressed as Mr. Belding. The two delivery guys would delivery your food and you could fart in the Screech’s face for 25 cents or so. You could also have the Belding guy rip stinky farts in the Screech’s face or have him butt-slam the Screech for a nominal fee, in order to entertain customers. It would be a huge hit!
They need to bring in a few of us to turn that restaurant around. Turning it into a freak show with weird waiters dressed as Screech, with managers playing Mr. Belding, is a good start, as is the delivery idea. I would go to a restaurant where if I complained about the waiter getting my order wrong (which a Screech waiter would do every time) the Mr. Belding manager would rip rank farts in his face, and might even rip off his Zubaz pants and butt-slam him! Now that would be a restaurant worth going to, and worthy of the “Jew-fro” name! I would also like to see a role for Mr. Horton, maybe as a bartender, where he just might slip a few pills into your drink!
Barf, you are definitely onto something. I would also like to see a weirdo unpaid bathroom attendant dressed as Screech in the men’s room who claps and cheers whenever anyone farts or taking a long piss. He should also say “Zoinks” whenever anyone farts or who someone loudly sprays diarrhea.
Tickle my pickle, bitches.. and my balls and nutsack are screaming for you, gaylord - they want to pump their gooey contents all over your face.
That Jewfro restaurant should also have a special night when one of the “Screech” waiters wears a Becky the Duck costume and another waiter dresses up as Zack Morris. Then they both head into the bathroom. Because it is a family-friendly restaurant, what happens in the bathroom wouldn’t be shown, although everyone would be able to hear loud butt-slamming coming from the bathroom because it would be very obvious that the Zack Morris waiter would be really giving it to the Becky the duck/Screech waiter in the bathroom!
Screech Fan, I love these ideas and I’m certain they would turn that restaurant into a runaway success! I’m so happy Mr. Horton has been included. He was such an underutilized character, and deserved his own spinoff from Diff’rent Strokes. It would be amazing if one ordered a banana split for dessert and Mr. Horton whipped the one up at the bar, and made sure to toss in some pills for fun!
I think this would be a success, and could even develop into a chain like Chuckee Cheese. I know there are many people who after a tough week at work want nothing more then to grab a bite to eat and be entertained. Watching a bunch of Screech’s get manhandled by Mr. Belding’s with all kinds of other fun distractions going on would the “Jew-Fro” the place to be. I can just hear the steam whistle like farts, the butt-slamming, and good old Mr. Horton behind the bar with a big smile and a giant bag of pills! What more could anyone want?
Guys, I just stumbled onto this fine board and have to say I’m intrigued. I called over to the “Jew-Fro” restaurant and was met with an angry shrew who cursed at me when I told her of this boards magnificent ideas. I closed the call by ripping ass into the phone and could hear her yelling for me to “go to hell”. Now, I don’t take lightly to that kind of talk and am going to open a competing “Jew-Fro” restaurant with all of your wonderful ideas. My team is already working on a location, and to get around any copyright issues will incorporate the word “Zoinks” into the name. I plan on having a team of Screech’s who will be managed by a few Mr. Beldings. Mr. Horton will be the bartender, and special appearances will be made by character such as Dudley, Corky, Becky the Duck, Zack Morris, James the Actor, Mr. Morris, AC Slater, Rod Belding, Mr. Carosi, and many others! The menu will be mostly American fare, but that won’t matter much as the real draw is all the hot action and entertainment that will occur! I’ll let you know when progress is made. I already have Corey Feldman ready to host the Grand Opening!
Restaurant Dude, you were only offering advice to the woman at the Jewfro restaurant, so there was no reason for her to be rude. Restaurants are hurting right now as monetary inflation from the past few years have caused many people to eat at home to save money. However, a restaurant which offers an entertaining experience, rather than just food, would benefit from some of this board’s ideas. I would definitely enjoy watching a show where a Mr. Horton tends bar and occasionally shoves a handful of pills down a Screech waiter’s throat, before hauling him off to the men’s room, after which the conspicuous sounds of butt-slamming would reverberate throughout the restaurant. I think it would be cool if there was a way to treat the walls with a material so that there is an echo when the Screech is being butt-slammed or utters, “Zoinks!” I think it would also be cool if there was a way to let demented weirdos loiter in the space behind the drywall so that they can get up close to where the Screech is being sodomized. Perhaps the manager, Angie, from the notorious “America’s Best Travel Inn” in Reno, NV could offer some suggestions?
We are going with “The Hooknosed Jew-Fro” as the name of our fine restaurant. We have found a location a few blocks from “The Jew-Fro” restaurant and will be set to open in about 2 weeks. I would love to get some tips from Angie while we do our fit-out as I’m all for letting degenerates peer through holes in the walls to get a good view of the Screech’s getting butt-slammed for messing up customer orders etc. There will of course be a nominal fee for this incredible access. We have contacted many of the former low level cast members of SBTB and have a few surprise names who will be showing up at our grand opening. Corky and Mr. Belding have been invited but when I made the offer I merely heard Corky make a giant dookie, then a really loud belch before the phone went dead. So who knows on that front. My team is scouring the sex offenders lists in the area to try and get the best and most accurate “Mr. Horton’s” we can find. We are also scouring bowling alleys and other hot spots for “Mr. Beldings”. Nerds to play Screech are harder to come by as they rarely leave their house, but my team is on it. I’ll keep everyone here apprised of our progress and opening date.
As the weather cools off I’m preparing for our busy season here in Reno. We had a very successful summer season, and I can report that the crawlspace viewing holes, along with the many other upgrades I invested in, have really brought in that extra revenue. Restaurant Dude, creating a viewing portal for your more deranged clientele is just a matter of there being space between the walls for someone to squeeze into. Then you just need to drill some holes, and potentially use a painting or poster to cover them, with small holes in said painting/poster to allow your viewer to see the action. One other item I’d recommend is keeping this budget friendly. These are tough times, and to compete with what Jew-Fro said about the menu being pricey at the original “Jew-Fro” restaurant I would compete with superior attractions, and then cut a few corners on the food. Buying slightly expired food would be a good way to save money, and keep your food prices low. They won’t care or notice while they leer at a Mr. Belding pounding the anus of a Screech. Also, there is no reason to invest in fancy cleaning supplies. Just rinse stuff off the best you can and when the health inspector shows up give him $20. Contact me if you have any issues. If you’re ever in Reno just stop by my Motel and I’ll give you an extra 10% off our already low rates. Good luck!
Angie, you should get some gambling machines in your fine motel. Aren’t motels allowed to have them in Reno? I would definitely play if there was a Screech-themed slot machine. There could be various images on each slot reel, like an image of Screech with a huge greasy Jew-fro, an image of Screech wearing his Zubaz up to his nipples, one of Corky wearing and overflowing diaper, one of Mr. Horton playing “Neptune: King of the Sea” with Dudley, one of Screech being butt-slammed by Zack while dressed as Becky the Duck, one of Mr. Tuttle hiding behind a potted plant while pleasuring himself, one of Mr. Belding taking a dump in A-Rod’s sock drawer, one of Hound Dog on a platter after being removed from the oven for Thanksgiving Day dinner, etc. The possibilities are endless and I can tell you that I would definitely play a slot machine like this all day!
Degenerate Gambler, back in the day I had a few slot machines I found in a dump. I put them in the lobby and made a few bucks off the customers and bums who normally hang outside. Then the almighty gaming board caught wind and shut me down. It seems you have to have a license and be regulated and all that. Of course that all costs money. I wasn’t making much, and really didn’t like the bums inside my small lobby area. So I decided to not bother replacing them or getting a license. I think it also helps with the family friendly budget conscious approach my fine motel takes. Now when you come in the lobby there isn’t much noise, and no bums fighting over a few quarters. I do love the idea of a queer themed SBTB slot machine, but I suppose manufacturer would have to agree to produce it. That sounds problematic with the copyrights etc. Maybe I’ll see if my handyman can rig up something we can place in a janitors closet? Thanks for the idea, and next time you’re in town come see me and I’ll give you an additional 10% off our already fantastic low rates!
Angie, I know a guy who stayed at your America’s Best Travel Inn a few months ago. He received one of your infamous wake-up calls, in which a big fat guy walked into his room and busted ass in his face at 6:30 AM to wake him up so that he wouldn't miss his bus out that day. He didn't mind being farted on or getting a couple bed bug bites because he saved $25 over what a Motel 6 would have cost. I was wondering if you ever considered including a complimentary continental breakfast for patrons at your hotel? I personally would enjoy providing "fart meals" to the homeless drug addicts who reside in several of the rooms at your motel and if you knock a few bucks off my room price, I could serve up more fart meals for your continental breakfast. Hit me up if you are interested - I think it would really drum up business.
Anus Goblin, I’m very glad your friend enjoyed his stay at our fine motel. Our wake up service has been a success and most mornings my wake up guy is fully booked. Many of our guests have combined the wake up call with breakfast as he packs a powerful and potent fart. He told me he noticed a few guests would move their mouths after he woke them with one of his massive farts, and would somehow eat his fart for their breakfast. He asked if we should charge more if they do that and I told him no, as he’s only ripping ass in their face once, and if they can combine that into a wake up call and breakfast that’s a giant value for them. We’ve had many repeat customers from that service. The drug addicts you mention aren’t guests, but lurk in the parking lot and add a special flavor to things. I’m not sure there is any money to be made off them as they spend every penny they have on drugs. But I would gladly give you an extra 10% off for being a poster on this fine board. If you stay and would like to rip ass in a few addicts faced I encourage you to do so. Most of them are so zonked out they might not even notice, and others might truly like it!
Hi everyone. I’m a plastic surgeon and lately I’ve been getting an odd number of requests to do rhinoplasty’s that involve enlarging someone’s nose, and giving it a hook shape. This is odd, as in the past people with hooknoses tended to be some of my best customers as they wanted me to straighten their nose. I’ve noticed most of my customers who want this new “hook nose” trend are deranged queers and when I ask why they want this procedure it’s so they can bury their nose in their partners ass crack and give them pleasure. I’ve asked a few colleagues around the country and this seems to be relatively new, but spreading fast. I’ve been googling and I found much of this leads back to this site!
Dr. Butthole, I’ve never heard of that fad. It just goes to show how many sick freaks there are in the world. Do you operate out of San Francisco, where this type of degeneracy is encouraged? How many of your patients also undergo a procedure to transplant pubic hair onto their heads, to complete the “Screech” look?
Donger, I am not in San Francisco. I am located in Phoenix, Arizona. I would understand if I was in San Francisco as my colleagues there regularly perform operations like asshole tightening, nose extensions, and other deranged operations that cater to the hardcore queer community. I have only recently had this occur in my office. I do not do hair transplants, but have had a few hook nose wanting patients ask about it. I’m not aware of anyone transplanting pubic hair to a human head, but I will check with a friend in San Francisco.
I live in Richmond, Virginia. My wife and I ate dinner at that “Jewfro” restaurant last night for the first time. When a waiter came to our table, I noticed that the waiter really did look a lot like Screech! He read off the specials of the day and I ordered the “Rim Goblin Special,” which was a huge chili dog with a side of French fries. Shortly after finishing my chili dog, I felt a rumbling in my belly, so I got up to go to the men’s room. Once inside a stall, I sat down and sprayed diarrhea for the next 10 minutes! A couple minutes into this, someone knocked on the stall door and asked if I was ok and whether I needed any assistance. I looked through a small gap between the stall door and the stall partition/wall and saw that it was a bathroom attendant who also looked like Screech! This bathroom attendant looked like a real weirdo and seemed to be leering at me lustfully as I ripped a loud fart while telling him I was ok. I farted again and then the stall door flew open and then someone who looked like Mr. Belding lifted me up and turned me around so that my bare ass was in the bathroom attendant’s face and then the bathroom attendant gave my dirty anus a nice tongue bath! I’m not gay or anything like that, but this guy knew what he was doing and he cleaned me up quickly. I asked what the charge was as I pulled out my wallet and then he said that his service was complimentary because his official title was “Unpaid Bathroom Attendant.” All in all, my experience at the Jewfro restaurant was great - the food was mediocre, but the bathroom action more than made up for that!
Richmond Resident, it sounds like the “Jewfro” restaurant stole all the ideas from this board and implemented them before Restaurant Dude could get his competing venue up and running! That sounds like a highly erotic experience, and it seems they made some nice adjustments to their menu as a chili dog doesn’t sound very Jewish or African! I personally once ate a Waffle House that had a similar theme going on in their bathroom, but I don’t believe it was corporate sponsored. I ate a nice plate of their covered hash browns “all the way” and within minutes my stomach rumbled angrily. When I rushed into the lavatory I found a weirdo with a massive jewfro holding a stall door for me. After blasting diarrhea while this insane weirdo clapped and stomped his feet, he crawled under the stall door, turned me around, and tongued my filthy anus clean. I’m no homo, but this guy was a total pro. I don’t think it was the real Screech, but this guy was damn close!
I just saw an erotic episode of SBTB. In it the gang goes to Las Vegas where Zack and Kelly are going to get married. They find Mr. Belding is already there hitting the blackjack tables pretty hard. Screech gets excited when he sees the Big Bopper and yells “Zoinks” causing Mr. Belding to get distracted and lose his blackjack hand. Mr. Belding then stood up, clotheslined Screech, and ripped off his Zubaz pants before giving him some hot buttsex right in front of the entire casino! Many of the dealers and other patrons began jerking off to this hot scene, but Jessie seemed unimpressed and said she was going to her room. Kelly and Lisa went with her while Mr. Belding pounded Screech’s ass. Slater pressed his bare ass to Screech’s face and ripped some nice burrito fueled farts as Mr. Belding groaned and jizzed all over Screech. They then left Screech laying on the floor of the casino and went to an all you can eat buffet! It was highly erotic and I didn’t recall that scene when I first saw this special episode!
Liver, that was a great episode of Saved By The Bell. If I remember correctly, Mr. Belding was butt-slamming Screech right next to a craps table. He threw some chips on the table, which happened to land on the Horn Play bet which pays 30-to-1 for two sixes on the dice. As he went to town on Screech’s butthole and was knocking Screech’s head into the craps table with each anal thrust, Mr. B threw the craps dice and it landed on two sixes, winning Mr. Belding $600! So everything turned out ok for Mr. Belding that time, although Screech couldn’t say the same for himself…
Eat my flaming fuckstick you kunt-suckin' fuckholes.
Ronnie-san, you sound angry and tense.. I think you could benefit greatly from me rearranging your chakras by giving you a golden egg-yolk - that's when I ejaculate and then urinate inside your ass.. I will then donkey-punch your balls and shit in your mouth as complimentary special treat, for your pleasure!!..
Gas Passer, there seems to be a growing trend of unpaid bathroom attendants crawling out of the woodwork all over the country to cheer on random strangers evacuating their bowels of enormous amounts of feces and then tonguing clean their anuses in exchange for an occasional tip! For some reason, the unpaid bathroom attendants typically have huge Jew-fro like hairdos and often have big hook noses. I heard about a men’s room at truck stop nearby where an unpaid bathroom attendant was apparently working in tandem with a guy dressed as a businessman who was carrying a huge 1980s-style cell phone. I heard that the businessman guy’s name is “Derek” and that we was on that phone selling 30 computers to a school while he was butt-slamming the bathroom attendant guy. During the butt-slamming, the bathroom attendant’s Jew-fro was soaking up a puddle of urine on the floor!
These do nothing Gen “Z” losers seem to look up to Screech as some kind of hero. They worship a guy who did nothing but hang out in various bathrooms and lick dudes buttholes. They think eating farts, and sleeping in a hammock in a truck stop bathroom stall is peak living! I hadn’t heard about anyone participating in teams as most seem to have 0 friends, but it’s really a telltale sign that they are regressing to SBTB characters as their generation has nothing to call its own. I recently was at a Burger King and saw three Screech’s having a slap fight over who got to huff the next bathroom customers ass!
Hey guys. I was at a Red Lobster last night and was accosted in the men’s room by a weirdo with a giant jewfro and large hook nose. I was standing at a urinal while this guy leered at me taking a piss. Then I ripped a nice fart and this freak came closer and began huffing it, then mentioned being able to smell the cheddar biscuits I’d eaten! I noticed him also moving his mouth while inhaling the fart fumes as if he were eating my fart! When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me he was an unpaid bathroom attendant intern from a local community college. He told me he was in training to become a bathroom attendant, along with about 15 other students. I then let out a squeaker and he pressed his nose to my ass. I donkey kicked him causing him to fall into a puddle of piss, then washed my hands and got out of there. On my way out the door I noticed a little tip hat that had nothing in it. What’s up with all that?! Why would a restaurant let a weirdo bother their customers, and why is a community college offering classes in being a deranged bathroom attendant?!
I am furious! My son Stewie is a Junior in high school. Last night I found him hanging around our downstairs bathroom and saw he’d put out a little tip hat and a few small bottles of cologne. When I asked why he did that he told me it was for a class at school. He then told me his college prep curriculum required a class in “bathroom attendant training” and that his high school said becoming an unpaid bathroom attendant was going to be the biggest area of growth in the future job market! He then showed me the course material, and much of it was just posts from this disgusting web site! Stewie told me he’s made up his mind that he wants to become an unpaid bathroom attendant who travels like country like a hobo, and eats farts for meals, while sleeping in a hammock in a bathroom stall! He told me his long term goal is to have an old Gremlin he can travel and sleep in. Prior to this year my son wanted to become a pediatrician! I tried calling the teacher, but when I got a hold of him and started yelling he merely yelled “Zoinks” then hung up! My son even hung a very queer looking poster of that Screech guy on his bedroom wall. Please help me!
Angry Mom, your son is at an impressionable age. When I was his age, I liked girls and wanted to go to college and be a success. I had no desire to be a gigantic faggot who eats farts, but maybe times have really changed? At least the unpaid bathroom attendant profession isn’t at risk of being made obsolete by Artificial Intelligence! Who is putting these ideas in your son’s head about the desirability of being an unpaid bathroom attendant? Is it his school’s guidance counselor? You should follow that person around while doing some reconnaissance. Maybe the guidance counselor is a huge faggot with an enormous greasy Jew-fro and massive hook nose?
I was hauling logs from the Pacific Northwest in my Kenworth on my way to Dallas, Texas last fall when I stopped at a rest area in Reno, Nevada to go to the bathroom. There was a weirdo bathroom attendant when I walked in - that guy had a huge Jew-fro and he said that if I needed his assistance while on the toilet, I should give him a holler. I said “thanks, but no thanks.” So I walked into a stall, sat down and ripped a few nasty farts while evacuating my bowels. The bathroom attendant started clapping and loudly cheered me on - it was really strange. As I sat there checking the news on my iPhone, I heard someone else walk in and the attendant again asked that guy if he needed any help, which the new person said he did need. Someone opened the stall door next to mine and then walked in. Next, the partition wall between my stall and the one next to mine started shaking and I heard the very conspicuous sound of Burt-slamming coming from that stall! There was a “Zoinks” uttered with each butt-slamming anal thrust! It was a weird experience and I didn’t realize at the time that the bathroom attendant was supposed to be dressed like Screech. Instead, I just thought that the guy was a real weirdo working hard for tips
Horny Truck Driver I do not want my son participating in that deranged lifestyle! I’ve been looking into my son’s curriculum and found that his class on “bathroom attendant training” consists primarily of reading and discussing posts from this website, and watching episodes of SBTB The New Class. I have no idea how this became part of any public school curriculum, let alone why my son has decided this is what he wants to do as a career. My husband ripped down the Screech poster my son had hung up, and now my son is sulking and won’t come out of his room. He told us that his friend Tommy has also decided to become an unpaid bathroom attendant and his parents are excited for him. He told us Tommy’s Dad is allowing him to set up his small colognes and tip hat in a bathroom in their home so he can train. He said Tommy stands mere feet from his father on the toilet and cheers him on as he rips ass and drops turds into the toilet. It sounds utterly deranged. I have a meeting scheduled with the guidance counselor today and will report back.
Tommies dad is a turd-suckin' fuck-knuckle who trained his son well in the restroom arts - but that whole cliche of the "starving artist" or whatever doesn't fly with me because I know for a fact that the sicko used to actually disable the flushing handles on all the toilets on purpose during his shift so that visitors to the stalls would have to leave their toxic butt-sludge and/or stinky logs in the bowl which he would then gobble up once they'd left.. Sickening.
Tommy’s Dad seems pretty enlightened. It’s nice to see parent who realizes their child wants to follow in their footsteps and become a deranged homosexual bathroom attendant who huffs farts, eats feces, and licks buttholes. Screech really was a pioneer in creating a previously unknown, but needed, job. I’m sure Tommy’s Dad will help his son ace his classes by teaching him various tips that only someone with hands on experience would know. He must be such a proud papa to be able to sit on the toilet while spraying diarrhea, while his son, mere feet away, cheers him on while dressed as Screech. The thought of this brings a tear to my eye.
Hi everyone. Don’t listen to that shrew Angry Mom. I have been trying to get our school district to implement an unpaid bathroom attendant program for years. Finally, this year, they did it. I was a huge fan of Screech as a kid, and loved watching him develop into an even weirdo degenerate who created a new workspace where none was thought of before. He single handedly began the unpaid bathroom attendant trend by setting up shop at rest stops, and truck stops. Brining joy to tens of thousands of road weary travelers. Screech realized one didn’t have to have a lot of money, but could find pleasure huffing farts, and sleeping in a hammock mere feet from where an obese trucker was spraying diarrhea. Screech was a true legend. I met him numerous times at a local rest area, and he got me into the game as well. Now that my son is on his way towards living the dream I could only do casually I must say I’m thrilled. Angry mom is just jealous that her son has latched onto what many believe will be the largest source of job growth in the next decade. With AI set to take over many fields there will be a massive need for people who can live off of farts for meals, while providing a service AI and robots can’t do. No one wants to see a robot huff a fart, it just isn’t the same. Also, when it comes to taking care of some P & A needs robots aren’t even close. My son Tommy stands near me in the bathroom while I take dumps and cheers me on. He then presents his silver tray of assorted breath mints and colognes. Both my wife and I are very proud of him.
Tommy’s Dad, what the hell is wrong with you? I like ripping ass in the face of someone who looks like Screech and feeling his huge hook nose rubbing against my stinky anus as much as the next guy. However, I would never encourage my son to throw away his future to become an unpaid bathroom attendant which sniffs farts, eats feces, and is butt-slammed by random strangers in exchange for an occasional tip! I grew up with SBTB and, like almost everyone else, I couldn’t stand Screech and wanted to watch him be humiliated by the other characters by having them fart in his face, lock him in closets filled with farts, take dumps in his sock drawer and locker, cook his pet Hound Dog for Thanksgiving dinner, etc. But I would not want that life for my own flesh and blood.
Horny Truck Driver, my son Tommy is a great football player, but isn’t academically skilled. My wife and I like knowing as a bathroom attendant he will always have a place to live. Even if that means he sleeps in a hammock in a bathroom stall. I also believe that Screech was so deranged he didn’t focus enough on getting tips. This new training program being rolled out at high schools and community colleges makes getting tips a main focus. At one point my son wanted to be a loan shark, but we feel this will be a much better progression for him to enter into. I smile thinking about him with his tip hat out, leering at obese truckers, and telling them they are taking masterful pisses. Then he can savor a nice fart meal before offering up some lovely colognes and breath mints. In school he also learned that offering single cigarettes or some No-Doze pills can really make one a profit in the trucking community. These are the tips only a real education can provide. Tommy and I have even discussed his potential to become a long haul trucker if the bathroom attendant job works out for him!
Tommy’s Dad, I always thought you were strange but now I know you’re a total weirdo! I don’t want my son even thinking his life needs to be one where he lurks in bathrooms hoping for tips as he sniffs farts and leers at obese truckers! Why would any school or college teach this?! What “skills” are needed to stand around a bathroom with a tip hat out? My husband and I have decided to remove our son and send him to a private school. We are also banning him from hanging out with Tommy!
I was driving back to college for the start of my fall semester a couple weeks ago when I stopped at a highway rest stop in central Missouri. The rest stop had a huge men’s room with at least 10 bathroom stalls. When I walked in, I noticed that the bathroom reeked of the stench of sweaty anuses. I gagged at the noxious odors because it stunk so badly! However, there was weirdo with a huge white man’s afro and a giant hook nose who stopped me as I walked in. He said that he was an unpaid bathroom attendant and would help me if I needed any assistance relieving myself. I said I was ok and just needed to take a piss. He then pointed toward the urinals and said that thousands of gallons of urine is deposited in then every month. I asked him to leave me alone as he was creeping me out and then walked to the urinal to pee. As I was taking one hell of a piss, I heard some enormous farts emanating from the stalls and the attendant weirdo kept uttering, “Zoinks,” each time he heard a fart or heard a turd hitting the toilet water! Someone a few urinals down from me expelled a squeaky-type fart and then the attendant ran over, knelt down, and then started sniffing that guy’s ass! I finished peeing, washed my hands, and then got the hell out of there! There was a tip cup near the sinks, but the only things in it were fuzz and a huge wad of gum that someone had obviously spit into it. I cannot believe that Tommy’s dad actually wants his son to live a life like this!
College Kid, you’re likely going into debt and still will be when my son is making a good living. As I’ve said, Screech was deranged and didn’t focus on tips. The new program is very tip focused. My son will have free accommodations, be able to work when he wants to, and if done right will make a nice living. Screech was a good guy, but his focus was on sexual gratification, and he never focused on his finances. These high school, and community college classes, focus little on gratification, and primarily on making a living through tip generation. Truckers deserve the red carpet treatment when they hit the bathroom after 13 hours at the wheel. They might also pay a premium for a few No-Doze pills, or a cigarette. Someone attending to their needs will most certainly generate tips, and my Tommy just learned that it will be crucial to have the ability for people to leave tips or make purchases digitally or with a debit/credit card. We are already working to open a Stripe account for him. This weekend we are planning a trip to a local rest area where he will practice his craft under my supervision, then will spend the night in a hammock we will install in a stall. He’s super excited.
Guys I’m just busting with pride. Tonight my son was manning our downstairs bathroom. When I went in to use the bathroom I sat down and began ripping ass. I then noticed my son standing there and he had set up a small blackjack table! He told me that along with the colognes, mints, and other sundries, he will be offering an illegal blackjack game for the truckers! What truckers wouldn’t enjoy taking a nice dump in a well managed bathroom, then sitting down to play blackjack while listening to people ripping ass, and toilets flushing! My son is a genius!
Tommy’s Dad, you and Tommy are demon-possessed and you must repent your sins to achieve redemption. Your son may think he’s just handing out paper towels, breath mints, and cologne spritzes in exchange for pocket change right now. However, he will be on a slippery slope which eventually has him eating feces and being butt-slammed for paper money tips! He’ll also be drinking Starbucks coffee which has been flavored up with semen. My preacher, the great Pastor James David Manning, has taught me all about this. That’s no way for a young man to live!
Tommy’s Dad, how much of a tip does Tommy except to receive if he “eats” my farts or tongues my butthole? I enjoy devouring Mexican food because it gives me horrendous farts and diarrhea. I’d like for an unpaid bathroom attendant to tongue my anus clean while I rip nasty wet farts! I will gladly tip a quarter or two in exchange for this service, and perhaps even more if I receive a reach-around while ripping ass in the unpaid bathroom attendant’s face.
Turd Burglary, as this is a relatively new, but exploding, industry, pricing is still being worked out. What I can tell you is the days of Screech servicing P&A needs for free, or a $.50 tip are gone. There will be a menu of services going forward that will require an upfront tip. I asked Tommy your question and he said it would he approximately $20 for what you’ve requested. Now other services will be tip only, such as maintaining the bathroom, welcoming in and cheering for customers etc. I’m hopeful the truckers understand this is a career for these new unpaid bathroom attendants, and they need to make some cash so they don’t wind up destitute like Screech did.
Buuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp! Hey boys! I hope everyone is doing well. Tommy’s Dad, I commend you on choosing an excellent career path for your boy. I for one can’t wait to meet up with him at a truck stop. After 10 hours behind the wheel my ass gets sweaty, and the Taco Bell I eat most days makes my tummy rumble. Knowing your boy is keeping the bathroom clean and well stocked will make my day much better. I don’t mind a menu of sorts with various “services” to choose from. Screech was a weirdo who was great at licking my butthole, but we never knew what he was going to do. Honestly most times he’d inhale my fart, then spend the next 5 minutes flopping around on the floor in ecstasy. Hopefully Tommy will be more professional and will help bring respect and credibility to what could be a noble profession.
Tommy’s Dad, $20 for bathroom attendant services??? Where is his rest stop going to be located - Beverly Hills??? That price seems a bit steep. Why bother paying that when there are hundreds of demented weirdos working as unpaid bathroom attendants, servicing the penis and ass needs of horny and obese truck drivers for free? I have ripped wet farts in the faces of many Screech look-alikes in rest stops across the country for decades and they greedily ate my farts and massaged my sweaty ass crack with their hook noses - I usually tipped them one or two quarters for this service. I would like to press my bare ass up against your son’s face and then rip ass, but there’s no way in hell I would pay him $20 to let me do this.
Turd Burglar, as this industry explodes you will find that $20 is very reasonable. For many years deranged weirdos have enjoyed the services of Screech, or Screech impersonators for free, or very small tips. Much like Uber started out with very low fares in order to draw in a customer base, then raise prices to make profits. This new generation is going to school, and some will even get a community college degree in unpaid bathroom attendant servicing. This will ensure there is a large base of employees so truckers, and general deviants, don’t find truck and rest stops to be hit or miss, along with a much higher degree of quality control. I for one would love knowing that every rest and truck stop will have a Screech manning the bathrooms 24/7 in a very professional manner. I’d like knowing the bathrooms will be clean, and the sundries will be well stocked. Primarily I’d like knowing the Screech had an education in said services and wasn’t a “fly by night” weirdo who just hung out there occasionally. This new generation gets a bad rap for being lazy and shiftless. But this is a real opportunity for them to get into manning our bathrooms and providing a valuable service to the currently underserved. My Tommy is excited to begin his career cheering on people as they make doodie, or take a piss. He can’t wait to yell “ Zoinks” when someone rips a nice fart. As I previously said those services will remain free, and tipping for them is optional. It’s only when someone needs or wants a greater degree of personal service. Like having their butthole cleaned, or some P & A services, that a price list will come into play. If you want Tommy to wipe your ass with his jewfro you should be ok paying $10 for that personalized care. Now, this will all be set by the attendant and if Tommy is hungry, or wants a snack, he may eat a few farts at no charge. But that’s his call. He will also need to get plenty of rest in his hammock, which will hang over a toilet in a stall. I can’t wait for this weekend so my son can make me proud.
Tommy’s Dad, I was Tommy’s gym teacher a couple years ago. He was a real athlete and was a strong swimmer in our pool classes. He won a diving contest with the other kids in the glass one day and then they all played a fun round of “Neptune: King of the Sea” in the showers after class. I’m glad to see that he has his head on straight and is pursing a career as a bathroom attendant who is paid for some services. I’ll have to check him out - I have always wondered what it would be like to sit naked on his head and then drop ass. I would also like to rub his face against my taint and insert his hook nose into my butt crack, clinch my butt cheeks to trap his nose, and then unleash a stinky 12-second wet fart. Where is he going to be working? Several of his male teachers would like to take advantage of his services. The old lady who a librarian at our school would also like to use his hook nose to pleasure her smelly cooch!
It looks like Tommy is about to his the big time! I spoke to the manager of a local truck stop and he said they have been hoping for a professional unpaid bathroom attendant to come their way. Currently they have stadium seating in their enormous rest room with speakers that help amplify the patrons farts and dookie sprays. They also have a large screen that shows erotic episodes of SBTB 24/7! The one thing they have been missing is a consistent Screech attendant. He told me they regularly have Screech drop ins who may be there for a few days huffing farts and flopping around, but they can’t count on them, and many times they are sub-par in their talents and looks. He said some don’t have Zubaz, or are lacking a quality Jew-fro. Others don’t have hook noses, which are required for digging into the asscrack of customers. He was very interested in letting my Tommy intern (unpaid of course) in their bathroom, with the idea that post training Tommy could possibly man their bathroom 24/7! He agreed that Tommy could live there in a very nice handicapped stall, and I must say it’s bigger than some NYC apartments!! Talk about excitement! Tommy cant wait to get there tomorrow night after school, which the truck stop manager said is a very busy time for them. Tommy’s teacher said he will be getting extra credit for taking the initiative to do an internship on his own! Wow!!
I saw Anthony Rizzo and Steve Bartman at a Wendy’s in Peoria, IL last night. Anthony as downing a large tub of Wendy’s chili while Bartman (who was wearing the exact same outfit he wore during the infamous Cubs playoff game) ate a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger. When Anthony was finished the two lovebirds went skipping off into the men’s room. I then heard some insanely loud farts, and Steve Bartman moaning. It seems retirement is really treating them well!
Dong Sniffer, I’ve seen Anthony Rizzo and Steve Bartman in the area before. I was at the Par-a-Dice river casino in East Peoria a couple months ago when those two love birds strolled in. They sat down at one of those crappy progressive nickel slot machines and Steve Bartman was playing the slot machine. Anthony went over and grabbed a plate of hot dogs and then came back and gobbled them down. Anthony turned so that his ass was to the side of Steve Bartman’s face and then ripped a stinky high-pitched 10-second fart in Steve Bartman’s face as Bartman pulled the slot lever. The fart smelled really nasty, but Steve Bartman must have enjoyed it as he immediately fell onto the ground and started having some type of homosexual convulsions while jizzing his pants in exquisite pleasure!
I was at Wrigley last weekend when they gave Anthony Rizzo a nice send off. I saw Steve Bartman sitting next to him in the outfield bleachers and assumed he was there out of support as a Cubs fan. He was wearing that same getup he’d worn to the infamous Cubs playoff game. He even had the headphones on! During the game I watched Anthony chow down on piles of hot dogs, and pepperoni pizza. Then I headed to the bathroom, and found Anthony and Steve Bartman in the bathroom. Steve was on his knees and Anthony had his ass pressed to Steve’s face. Anthony said something about “old times sake” then let loose a nasty fart. Bartman buried his face in Anthony’s ass and breathed in the stink while convulsing. The two then entered a stall together and next thing I know I hear buttslamming. Until I found this fine board I had no idea these two have been long time lovers! But what’s with all the public displays of raunchy farts, and buttsex?!
Wow, those Anthony Rizzo/Steve Bartman stories are hot. I guess Bartman really enjoys munching on Rizzo's butthole and eating his farts?
Do you think that Anthony sprayed the diarrhea that unpaid bathroom attendant Screech is cleaning up in the video on the newer post??
You fags really need to put a lid on it, man...
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