A prison named Fleece Johnson was interviewed on MSNBC's "Lock-Up" in an episode which aired in 2008. During the episode, Fleece Johnson referred to himself as a "Booty Warrior" and discussed the importance of men's butts among prisoners. He claimed during the interview shown below that "having booty" was more important than food or drinking water. He also mentioned how he convinced other prisoners to let him use their booties. I wonder whether he had any encounters with Screech when Screech served his prison sentence for stabbing someone at a bar in 2014?
Fleece Johnson was recently released from prison and has been doing some interviews. In the interview shown below, he mentioned how he managed to get his fill of booty in prison as he comes onto and creeps out the interviewer.
In this clip he mentions that he tried to get another man pregnant when he was in the prison shower:
63 comments:
I was the the same cell block as Screech in 2016 in the Ozaukee County jail. Fleece Johnson (the Booty Warrior) was in the cell right next to Screech. He lent Screech some toothpaste within hours of Screech’s arrival at the jail and then told Screech he needed to pay him back for the toothpaste in “booty bucks.” Apparently being on the receiving end of rough anal is worth about 2% of a “booty buck” in jail. Needless to say, we all heard a lot of buttslamming and yelps of “Zoinks!” for the few months during which Screech was incarcerated.
Booty Giblin, Screech was the only person who could make Fleece Johnson look normal. Also, what kind of idiot buys some toothpaste with “booty bucks”. You just know deranged Screech knew that that tube of toothpaste (which he likely didn’t use as he was well known for extreme cock breath) cost 50 buttslammings. I wish Lockup had visited the jail Screech was in. MSNBC really missed out on a golden opportunity.
Yo, I’d take Mr. Horton over Fleece Johnson any day of the week. Mr. Horton was nice to me and fed me pizza, banana splits, wine, and pills before making me play “Neptune: King of the Sea.” Mr. Horton didn’t buttslam me right away but instead built up to it over the course of a few days, but I also got free tandem bike rides out of it. Fleece, on the other hand, threatens and intimidates people before buttslamming them, without giving them any food, pills, or free bike rides. Mr. Horton is a far more lovable sodomist.
I had the displeasure of having to interact with Fleece Johnson. Mr. Johnson is now out of prison. Many rumors swirl around regarding his activities in prison. Some claim he went into prison with a 10 year sentence for robbery. Yet he served nearly 30 years and some claim his extended sentence was due to convictions for raping other inmates. When Fleece got out of prison he was angry in how he’s been portrayed and insisted his Lockup interviews were part of a “scared straight” plot. I decided to interview him and he insisted he’d never raped anyone and was a wholesome man. He said he just wanted a chance to “clear his name”. After further thought and investigation I decided to cancel the interview as I didn’t want to give a rapist a platform. When I told Fleece this he got very angry and began yelling into the phone that he now was going to rape me!! For months afterwards I received middle of the night phone calls from a blocked number. When I would answer I would only hear heavy breather. One time I’m positive I heard a faint whisper that said “I’m gonna git that booty”. It was terrifying and I still have nightmares of Fleece breaking into my home and violating my butthole!
Investigative Journalist, I worked at a KFC in Louisville, Kentucky several years ago. Fleece would come in regularly to get chicken for dinner. One day a few years ago, our soda machine ran out of Grape Crush. Fleece told us that there was no grape soda and I told him I’d look into it. Unfortunately, we were out of the syrup to make Grape Crush. When I told Fleece that we were out of that soda, he went ballistic and started yelling and throwing plastic cups all over the floor. He also told me and my boss that he wanted some “booty” since there was no grape soda. I asked him what the hell he was talking about and he said, “look, I wants you. Now we can do dis the east way or the hard way. The choice is yours.” I got scared and ran to the bathroom where our unpaid bathroom attendant intern, Screech, was working that day. Fleece chased after me and when I got into the bathroom, I pushed Screech toward Fleece and begged for help. Screech uttered, “Zoinks!” and said, “Can I help you, sir?” Fleece said, “I’m gone git some booty one way or da other.” Fleece then grabbed Screech, threw him into a stall, and closed the door behind them. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but it sounded like loud butt-slamming occurred in that stall as Screech repeatedly yelled, “Zoinks!” and asked for help. I got the hell out of there and quit that day. I was so lucky that Screech and his butthole were there to save me that day!
Last night, Corky discovered A-Rod’s old “Simon Says” electronic toy from when he was a kid in the 1980s. The Simon Says toy has four buttons, each of which lights up, and the toy plays a pattern of the buttons lighting on a particular order where each time the player correctly plays back a pattern, the Simon Says toy plays a longer pattern until the player incorrectly plays back the pattern. Corky only managed to play back a pattern of two buttons before he lost. However, the game gave him an idea and he told A-Rod to contact his Hollywood people because he had an idea for a new game show. Corky explained that the name of the game show would be “Corky Says” and that he would play a pattern to the contestants who would have to play it back to win. A-Rod replied that it sounded like a blatant ripoff of the “Simon Says” electronic game. Corky replied that A-Rod was an idiot and that he wasn’t done talking. Corky said that his twist on the game would be that Mr. Belding would release a series of loud farts and that the contestants would have to expel farts of their own in the same order to win prizes. A-Rod said it was Corky’s dumbest idea yet and that the studio would reek of the stench of anus and asked why anyone would watch a show where contestants are ripping nasty farts. Corky got mad at A-Rod’s rude response and punched him in the balls and then ass-raped A-Rod while Mr. Belding opened the vegetable crisper drawer in A-Rod’s refrigerator and took a dump in it!
Booty Juice,
I’ve been running down many leads to put together a full story regarding Fleece’s life. Many don’t realize Fleece was released in 2016 and for a short period of time was free. He quickly committed an armed robbery and was sent back to prison. But during the time he was out I have numerous reports that he dated Screech, who he met in a KFC bathroom. I’ve been told Fleece liked looking for “Booty” in fast food restaurant bathrooms and wonder if Screech was an unpaid bathroom attendant at the restaurant, or their meeting was just happenstance? I’ve been working on this scoop for a few years now which has really pissed off my boss. He whines that instead of writing and filming interviews all I do is interview weirdos to try and solve a mystery he claims no one cares about. I believe this is one of the most important mysteries of all time and am determined to solve it.
Investigative Journalist, did you know that Fleece recently gave this interview in which he claims that a room full of flies took his booty?? He claims he was sexually assault by flies which eat out his ass when he was handcuffed naked in prison!
https://youtu.be/D1vAKr_HQSc?si=2GTZkw6wsCpYzkBf
Booty Juice, that interview is ridiculous. Fleece always acts like he did nothing wrong and the guards were just mean to him. I bet he loved the feeling of 500 flies chomping on his filthy ass. He then proceeded to make some disgusting concoction of feces, glass, and some hair product to throw on the guards. I’m sure that went well for him. No wonder a guy who initially had 10 years wound up spending over 40 in prison. I’ve spent the last 6 months investigating his sordid 2015-2016 relationship with Screech. I’ve discovered not only was Fleece Screech’s lover for a time, but that they traveled together. Fleece was spotted in Screech’s Gremlin and at numerous rest areas and truck stops. I’ve done many interviews with long haul truckers who interacted with Screech, who were then attacked and raped by the “Booty Warrior” while Screech flopped in a puddle of piss after they farted in his face. No one reported this as they were embarrassed they had hooked up with Screech, and were then raped by a shifty old black man. I’ve discovered over a dozen so far, and believe there may be many more. It seems even on the outside Fleece can’t control his lust for man ass!
Please. I am Ugoff.
Your pleas won't help you now, ugoff, for you have foreverafter entered the realm of the booty bandit, and he (I..) will take 'yo ripe, tight, & juicy azz wheneva he damn well pleases & there ain't a goddamn muthafuckin' thing you can do about it, bitch-boy.. much luv ;)
Investigative Journalist, Fleece was placed in that room full of flies as an intelligence test. He miserably failed that intelligence test! If you are locked naked in a room full of flies, the obvious way to keep the flies away from you is to take a dump in one corner of the room and then stand in the other corner! Fleece claims that he was handcuffed in that room - despite the handcuffs, he could have avoided the flies by taking a dump on the floor and then kicking the dookie to the other side of the room. Fleece, however, didn’t do this, resulting in hundreds of flies eating out his ass! What a dumb-dumb.
Grimace, it’s well known that studs like Mr. Belding are able to kill bees and other pests with their rancid farts. If Fleece was any kind of man he would have immediately either shit in the corner to distract the flies, or ripped a nasty fart to kill the flies. Then when the guards opened the door they would have been met with a rank stench and Fleece with an intact booty.
Grimace, it’s well known that studs like Mr. Belding are able to kill bees and other pests with their rancid farts. If Fleece was any kind of man he would have immediately either shit in the corner to distract the flies, or ripped a nasty fart to kill the flies. Then when the guards opened the door they would have been met with a rank stench and Fleece with an intact booty.
I recently saw an episode of “Saved By The Bell:The New Class” on the FreeVee streaming app. It was from the 7th season of the show. In it, Mr. Belding was shown stealing candy from a vending machine. When the owner of the vending machine discovered that someone had taken candy without paying, he contacted Bayside and Mr. Belding said that it must have been bad kids who did this and reimbursed the vending machine guy from petty cash. Mr. Belding also ordered several of the high school cool kids to attend a “Scared Straight” intervention at a Southern California prison. Mr. Belding asked Screech to come with as his unpaid assistant. After arriving at the prison, they went into a cafeteria area, sat down, and met some of the tough and violent prisoners. One of the prisoners was actually Fleece Johnson! Fleece told Screech that he liked Screech’s Afro and wanted to run it up and down the crack of his ass. Fleece also told Screech that he really needed some booty and that Screech had better give it up. Fleece told Screech that this was going to happen one way or the other and that Screech could either do this the easy way or the hard way. Screech uttered, “Zoinks!” and then Fleece punched Screech in the jaw and pulled down his Zubaz! Screech yelled for help and turned around and saw that Mr. Belding’s pants were down around his ankles and he was masturbating furiously. Screech looked over and saw that the prison guards and other students also masturbating while watching Screech being battered! Fleece then pulled down his pants, revealing that a swarm of horny flies were flying around his stinky anus. Fleece then proceeded to ass-rape Screech while the cameraman laughed hysterically and everyone else kept masturbating! It was a great episode.
Smiddy, that was an awesome episode! And it’s just one more lesson Screech learned nothing from. You would have thought that incident would have scared him and he would have behaved so he didn’t wind up in prison. Yet years later he would assault someone and wind up back in jail, and guess who was waiting for him. Good ole Fleece Johnson. I bet Fleece was pissed his Scared Straight routine hadn’t worked, making his desire for man booty even more intense!
I have been listening to interviews with Fleece Johnson recently. In one interview, he mentioned that he had sex with 60 men in prison. In another interview, he said that he isn’t gay and that he only had sex with men in prison because there were no women available at that time. I bet he had a great time with Screech when Screech was locked up with him for a few months a few years ago!
Yeah, I done fleeced his pear-shaped azz a few times in there, and I gave him a special gift to remember me by - rectal gonorrhea!..
I wonder what would happen when Fleece would devour a large bucket of KFC, wash it down with a 2 liter of grape Crush, and then had his fun with Screech. I could see him pulling down his pants and ripping a nasty wet fart into Screech’s face before ass-raping him. But when Fleece ripped ass, would the swarm of flies which were always hovering around his anus get blown into Screech’s mouth?? We all know that Screech developed a taste for feces and frequently ate that as a meal, but how often were flies and other insects farted into Screech’s mouth???
Years ago I remember a review of an episode of SBTB On the ISS where Screech had been tossed in space jail for annoying Corky and Mr. Belding. I recall something about Fleece Johnson being in Space Jail for ass raping a Martian. Now later in that episode Screech had been released from jail and annoyed Mr. Belding who slugged him in the guy, then shoved his massive cock down Screech’s throat. When he pulled his cock out it was covered in flies. More flies could be seen flying out of Screech’s mouth. This infuriated Mr. Belding who accused Screech of cheating on he and Corky with Fleece Johnson’s butthole! This is now making me wonder if Fleece somehow transported those flies to space, then farted or shit them into Screech’s mouth? Has anyone seen this seemingly super erotic episode?
I used to run a drug enterprise back in the day. One of our low level dealers was Fleece Johnson. Many people called him stinky as he always had a swarm of flies following his ass around. Anyhow we had to fire his ass because he kept raping his customers while rambling on about booty. He wasn’t a bad dealer, but all the raping scared away customers. I had my nephew Tuco chase him out of town! Word is he even tried to rape Tuco!
I have it on good authority that a Hollywood screenwriter is in contact with Fleece Johnson’s agent. Apparently Hollywood is so bereft of new ideas that they are remaking the classic “The Fly” movie. In the remake, someone dressed up in a Screech outfit is transformed into a fly which lives in the crack of Fleece Johnson’s ass. I wonder who will play Screech?
Anus Goblin, your news is correct. They are remaking The Fly starring legendary booty bandit Fleece Johnson. My initial reports have it that there is an offer out to Alex Rodriguez to play Screech. He will lurk in a prison as a deranged gay fly who buzzes around prisoners asses hoping they fart. He winds up in the segregation cells when Fleece is brought in and strapped down by the guards. The next thing we know the Screech Fly is burrowed in Fleece’s bare ass and decides to live his life there. Eventually he and Fleece become friends as they both share the love of man booty. I think A Rod would be wonderful in the Screech roll.
Hollywood Reporter, it is too bad that Screech is no longer around. A role where his only job is to sniff a stinky anus, eat wet farts, and say “Zoinks!” over and over is perfectly suited for Screech!
Larry, it is sad that Screech is gone. It’s also a bummer SBF who seemed perfect to replace Screech has been sent to prison. But thankfully we have A Rod who has become Screech like due to the brain damage caused by tens of thousands of farts to the face, as well as contracting Down’s syndrome from Corky’s potent seed. I have heard if A Rod accepts the role as “the fly” Mr. Belding and Corky will be given small roles as prisoners alongside Fleece. I sense a smash hit within the deranged queer community and its liberal supporters.
Hollywood Reporter, you have a great idea of adding Corky and Mr Belding as prisoners who become friends. I envision a scene where A-Rod’s fly character is devouring a wet fart meal in Fleece’s ass crack when Fleece pulls down his pants and Mr. Belding also pulls down his pants. Then they press their bare asses together and simultaneously rip powerful farts which create a makeshift fart tornado vortex, sucking up A-Rod fly to the ceiling as his jizzes himself in ecstasy while Corky is sitting on a chair and falls over laughing hysterically while filling his diaper with doodoo. Fleece grabs A-Rod fly with a piece of toilet paper and then shoves him into the pile of doodoo in Corky’s diaper while everyone laughs and A-Rod fly utters, “Zoinks!” As I understand it, rubbing bare asses together in prison is not gay so long as they don’t touch cocks or receive a cock inside their own anuses, so Mr. Belding’s hetero street cred would not be adversely affected. I think this Fly remake will be a huge hit!
Fellow queers, this video was recommended to me on YouTube for some reason. It shows several horses lying down in a barn trying to sleep and several of them are ripping ass in each other's faces! This reminds me of an episode of Saved By The Bell where Screech went camping with Mr. Belding, Mr. Tuttle, and AC Slater and Belding and Slater kept ripping ass in Screech's face while Tuttle hid behind a tree and rubbed one out!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMJsqXzz5zs
I stayed at the Town House Motor Lodge in Reno last night. It is one of the many fine cheap hotels in the Reno, Nevada area. Our tv was missing from our room because someone stole it, just like as was mentioned in on me of the Yelp reviews for the hotel. If you don’t mind somewhat noisy heroin addicts living in the hotel or the prostitutes, I recommend staying here - it is well worth saving $15 on a room so that you have more money with which to gamble at the fine city casinos. Also, be sure to sleep with your shoes on so that you don’t accidentally step on any rat dropping on drug needles if you need to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.
See https://yelp.to/q6Ywd3dAdU
Family Man, I just noticed your comment from June 6th. Those ISS episodes on the crappy Peacock reboot of Saved By The Bell were the only episodes of the reboot which I remember. It was crazy that there was a jail on the moon and that Fleece Johnson had raped a Martian before being locked up in the space jail.after being released on parole, he snuck up the rope ladder to the ISS and broke into Screech’s room. I remember him being locked inside as Fleece was raping him - he pounded on the door to his room, begging for help. Mr. Belding opened the door and Screech thought that Mr. B was going to save him and his nightmare would soon end. However, Screech was in for a rude awakening when Mr. Belding pulled down his pants, ripped a 15-second wet fart in Screech’s face, and then walked out of the room and locked Screech back in with Fleece. Fleece was so used to the noxious odors of prisons that the fart didn’t bother him and then he went back to violating Screech’s anus as the laugh track went crazy. It was a good episode!
Pee-pee poo--poo caca doo-doo 😃
Hey gang, I found this nice YouTube clip where inappropriate laugh tracks were added to some classic 80s/90s tv show scenes. There are three from the Mr. Horton episode- I almost lost it when I heard the one at 1:08! [url]https://youtu.be/WSvkkTWrRGo?si=uLoy36V6hDN2ebbg[\url]
Tug Boat, I’m so glad you enjoyed you stay at the wonderful Town House Motor Lodge. You may have meant to post you stayed there a few years ago as it unfortunately was torn down by evil developer Jeff Jacob’s back in 2021. I am a councilwoman in Reno and was furious that lovely hotel was torn down. Many of my constituents consist of hookers, drug dealers, and pimps. They deserve a place to stay, and the Town House Motor Lodge provided that! Yes, it was a cesspool of filth, and Mr. Jacob’s may have torn it down to build something new that is clean and safe, but I’m still mad! How dare a landowner do what he thinks is best for a property he owns. Especially when that means fewer hotels for hookers and drug dealers to ply their trades!? I recall back in 2018 Screech stayed there and there was quite a bit of hubbub amongst our deranged queer community. I tried to save the hotel as a historical landmark since he stayed there but everyone laughed at me and one fat council member even ripped ass into his tiny microphone! Hopefully a few other hotels fall into disrepair and become replacements for the Town House Motor Lodge. Thankfully we still do have our lovely Motel 6 and Americas Best Travel Inn.
Ms. Brekhus, oopsie - thank you for the correction. You are correct in that I stayed at the Town House Motor Lodge four year ago, not a few days ago. I totally forgot when I had stayed there!
Thank you for your tireless work in keeping dilapidated hotels/motels open for business for the masses. Not all of us are rich spendthrifts who can afford to stay at upscale places such as Ecololodge or Red Roof Inn. I don’t mind the presence of some cute little mice or bedbugs if it means a savings of $15-20/night. It is common sense that a reputation for mouse turds in hotel rooms will push down the market price of the room to the point at which hookers, crackheads, and even normal people like me can stay there for a few nights. Please keep fighting the good fight to ensure that the Motel 6 and America’s Best Travel Inn stay open for business!
Tug Boat, thank you for the kind response. Wonderful people like yourself built Reno into the amazing city it is today. My heart flutters when I see a run down hotel with mice and cockroaches crawling all over the rooms, knowing that the bum taking a dump on the sidewalk may be able to find refuge there during a storm. I pass a hooker with scabies sucking off some random trucker and smile, knowing she will have a roof over her head at a price she can afford. Yes, there may be feces all over the floor, but that’s what keeps prices low. I see a pimp beating one of his “ho’s” and smile knowing he only breaks out his pimp hand out of love, and that he will soon be relaxing in a lovely room that likely has a toilet bowl full of shit and piss that doesn’t flush. But the important thing is he can afford it! It broke my heart to see that taken away and callously knocked down. Yes the roof may have not existed in some rooms, and other rooms had no floor, but it was a small piece of paradise for many of us looking to save a few bucks. I hope you return to Reno soon and let me know how your trip goes.
Ms. Brekhus, you are a great ambassador for the great city of Reno! I discovered that another America’s Best Value Inn has arrived on the scene - the old Super 8 Motel on Greg Street has been rebranded as an America’s Best Value Inn. America’s Best Value Inn is notorious for its affordable rooms, which is great news for budget-conscious travelers. One of the Yelp reviews is from someone complaining waking up in the middle of the night with bed bugs biting his back and eyelids. The same reviewer also wrote that he discovered a pair of dirty underwear underneath the mattress. I don’t know what that guy is complaining about - stuff like this is why the rooms are cheap. Obviously some corners have to be cut, but who cares if it means you can save 10% on the room?? I will definitely stay at this America’s Best Value Inn the next time I am in Reno!
https://yelp.to/HeLQH8rEE_
Reno is a town so nice, I came there twice - all over some homeless bum's crusty butthole, during a 1 hour layover in the bathroom at the greyhound bus station there!.. then I made my way across the street to the liquor store and picked up 2 40-dogs of st. ides and hopped back on the bus to continue my sex-tour down to the tenderloin area of san francisco and chugged one of 'em and passed out in my comfy seat but then some crazy chinese guy sitting next to me tried to lop my head off with a rambo knife but I quickly disarmed him, swung him around like a rag doll, and shoved the knife up his asshole right in front of all the cheering passages, causing him to bleed rectally in a river all the way down the aisle of the bus, which is when their cheering stopped.. :( and then we continued our voyage down to the gay area while the deranged chinese man wept like a teased vagina tied to a seat up front for the entire rest of the trip - last time we invite his downer ass..
Yeah, that town is a complete & total cess-pit.. kinda like this site.. l.o.l.
I am an editor at the Harvard Business Review. We are currently doing a case study on the viability of lower end lodgings in Reno, NV. We have a suggestion for the renowned Americas Best Travel Inn. Specifically, according to our calculations, you will be able to expand your top line by a minimum of 10% if you add room service with a twist. The type of room service we propose is a relatively high margin addition, so we expect that your bottom line could easily expand by 20-25%! Instead of offering traditional room service where a guest calls, orders food, and has it brought to the guest’s room, we suggest having someone dressed up in a Screech costume with a large Jew-fro hair or wig, a big hook nose, and wearing fruity rainbow pants visit the guest’s room. The guest would pay a fee in exchange for the opportunity to rip ass in the Screech’s face while the Screech room service guy utters, “Zoinks!” In our model, there is no sex exchanged, although being that your motel is located in Nevada where prostitution is legal, you could also have an option for the guest to butt-slam the Screech! We at Harvard believe that this business model could really help bolster your business so that it can continue to thrive long into the future.
I love the idea of a room service Screech and wonder if this could evolve within the entire service industry? I think a patron of America’s Best may be less inclined to spend an additional $10 or $15 to rip ass in someone’s face, when they could use that towards buying crack or getting a nice hooker? I’m thinking that high end hotels that cater to the weatlhy and business travelers could do really well. My favorite hotel chain is the Four Seasons and I have stayed at dozens of them across the globe. I would love if they had a secret room service option where some weirdo dressed as Screech would visit my room and allow me to rip ass in their mouth repeatedly. I would gladly pay a few hundred dollars for this service. Harvard Business Review, would you mind continuing your amazing study at high end hotels? I would recommend the Four Seasons in Washington DC as a prime test location. It is always full of wealthy deviants from all over the globe. Last time I was there a Saudi Royal was staying there and I happened to pass their room and heard some insanely loud farts, and then what I believe was a camel make some kind of noise. What I didnt hear was “Zoinks” which i believe that Sheik would have payed top dollar for!
Fart Fanatic, I don’t doubt that this idea could be used at high end hotels - it is applicable to any hotel at which mentally deranged people stay. The great thing about using it at an affordable motel/hotel in Reno is that the Screech room service guy would be an independent contractor who would be unpaid - all of the Screech’s compensation would be in the form of tips from guests. The guests would have to pay a fee to get the Screech to come to their room, and all of that money would go to the motel. The only real cost is for the Screech uniforms and for cleaning stains from the uniforms, although I’m sure that a cheap manufacturer of Screech uniforms could easily be found. I have no doubt that there are some freaky weirdos who would sign up in a heartbeat to be an unpaid Screech room service attendant in exchange for tips and wet fart meals.
Hello from Dubai. I am the Chief Concierge at the 7 star Burj Al Arab hotel in Dubai. I have been watching this discussion with delight as I am prepared to let you in on a secret. My hotel caters to the wealthiest weirdos in the world. It is my job to see that 5eir every need and want is fulfilled. Back in 2012 I searched out the most deranged homosexual goblin on the earth. I traveled the globe until I found Screech. The moment I saw him patrolling a filthy men’s room in Detroit I knew he was it. At that moment he had his head buried between some enormous black guys buttcheeks. When the guy ripped a fart that rattled the windows Screech yelled “Zoinks” then began moaning as he fell over backwards into a puddle of piss. I watched with glee as he flopped around jizzing some weird multicolored pants. When he was done and his customers gone I hit him up with a proposal. I offered him an unpaid job as a fart goblin and jackass who would entertain our best clients. In return I offered to fly him economy to Dubai, and allow him to stay in a janitors closet amongst the mops and cleaning products. He readily accepted. From 2012 to 2019 Screech would fly over each winter to live in a closet and service our clients. I had to keep him a well kept secret, and only allowed our wealthiest customers to know about him. Even then the demand for Screech was immense and there were times I’d have two Princes fighting over him. I recall many times I’d walk past a suite and hear an earth shattering fart followed by “Zoinks”. Sometimes I’d also hear loud buttslamming. We paid Screech nothing for his services, but our clients paid me handomsely. Unfortunately the pandemic hit and Screech then croaked. We really miss him. Anyway, I am hoping that every hotel will soon have a Screech. From the cheapest Motel 6 to the fanciest hotel in the world. I agree with Harvard Business Review Editor that there is plenty of money in this for every class hotel.
Roger, if the real Screech was still around, the demand for his services would be off the charts right now. Screech embodies all of the worst stereotypes about Jewish people and Muslim guests at your hotel would undoubtedly want to hire him to rip ass in his face and otherwise humiliate him as payback for whet Israel is perceived as doing right now in the Gaza Strip. I could see a group of Arabs gorge on rancid camel meat just to rip heinous paint-peeling wet farts in Screech’s face! I bet that they would also enjoy pelting Screech with various coins as tips!
Harvard Business Review Editor, you are correct. I have had many former clients of Screech’s call me to see if Screech was available to take their anger out on. I had to inform them of his demise. They were furious when they found out I haven’t been able to find a proper replacement for them to fart on. After the real Screech it will be a major letdown if I just bring in some random loser with a hooknose, Jew fro, and Zubaz pants. The only person I feel may be able to fill the role is Alex Rodriguez. I feel if he got plastic surgery to get a nice hook nose, and got hair plugs to grow a massive Jew fro, he could do really well. I have been in recent contact with his agent Corky. The negotiations are rough as it’s difficult to keep Corky on track. He’s normally eating something wit his best friend Mr. Belding. That tends to turn into a farting or belching contest. Also there is always a really loud TV blasting. Occasionally Alex will be in the room and he always annoys Corky who then ass rapes him while I’m sitting on speakerphone trying it negotiate a price. The last time I called that happened and the call ended with an insanely loud fart that hurt my ears. I believe that was the product of Mr. Belding.
Roger, does your “magnificent” 7 star hotel have a Denny’s in the parking lot??? I think not. You may be super fancy and expensive, but here in Reno I provide a lovely stay at a good price. My guests, unlike yours, have easy access to a 24/7 Denny’s! Yes the rooms might have a few cockroaches, and yes their may be semen and/or dookie stains on the sheets, but you are saving $10-25 dollars over the Motel 6 down the street. My customers likely save a thousand bucks or more than your hotel Roger! We also had Screech stay here after a comedy show years ago. And he took care of some of my customers and I didn’t even ask for too much of a kickback. So don’t think you’d corned the Screech market! If I’m ever in Dubai I’ll stop by and we can talk shop! I’ll show you how it’s done, and how you can quickly turn that 7 star fancy pants hotel into a rundown shack like my hotel. Then you can save your customers a bundle and you might even get lucky and attract some bums, hobos, drug dealers, pimps, and hookers to your parking lot.
Angie, I’m not sure that Roger will ever understand what you offer to the budget-minded traveler. You cut every corner you can to make rooms that the common man can afford. If that means that the sheets are only washed once a month regardless of how many different guests have stayed in a room, then so be it. Those of us who are experienced low-budget vacationers know to bring our own drop cloths and sheets to protect ourselves from dangerous diseases, a small price to pay relative to the huge room savings. There is also the excitement of going on a “treasure hunt” which I experience when visiting a low end hotel such as America’s Best Travel Inn - lifting the mattress or opening the closet to discover soiled underwear or random pee and diarrhea stains brings a little excitement into our eyes!
Tug Boat, you are a class act and you’re welcome to say at my America’s Best Travel Inn Reno any time. I’ll even give you a 20% discount on a room. There was recently a lot of commotion when former baseball player A Rod and his lover Corky came to town with Mr. Belding. They stayed at the Motel 6 for over a month. If they had stayed at my hotel they would have saved nearly $500, and had easy access to Denny’s! You sound smart enough to realize that’s real money, and the access to Denny’s just increases that. A few times I saw them at the Denny’s and would see poor Mr. Belding struggling to walk the half block back to the Motel 6. If they had stayed here he only would have had to walk a few feet to be back at his cozy room. I hear the Motel 6 is still upchaging to stay in their old room, claiming the “stink” of Mr. Beldings farts still linger. I think that’s absurd. You can stay in one of my rooms for no extra charge for the stink. I was recently accosted by an overnight guest who was upset there was a large turd on the floor. I bereaved them and told them they should be happy I wasn’t charging more for that!
Angie, thank you for that generous offer! I will definitely take you up on that 20% discount.
Do any of your rooms have a mini-suite? I have heard about loveseat couches at some discount hotels having noticeable ass prints on the cushions, where a previous guest clearly sat bare-ass naked and sweat profusely and farted into the cushions, leaving a noticeable outline/imprint. I would love to rent a room like this if you could knock another 10% off. As I mentioned previously, I bring a drop cloth with me to discount hotels, so an ass print on a couch in my room would not bother me at all and, in fact, I would welcome it if it means I can save an extra $5-10 per night.
Tug Boat, what deranged queer wouldn’t want to have a room with a soiled couch containing a giant ass stain? I can only imagine the rank scent from the ass juice the permanently permeated into the couch’s fabric. Mr. Belding is well known for being able to leave enormous ass prints on couch’s. In fact there is a small cottage industry amongst the wealthy who seek to obtain a certified used couch from Mr. Belding. He is known for not only his wet farts that instantly stain any fabric, but also his filthy ass that leaves permanent skid marks. I have a friend who obtained a white leather couch from A Rod’s home. It was shipped to him in a container normally used to ship toxic waste. The delivery people all wore HazMat suits. My friend says he believes Mr. Belding ass stained couches will be the next Van Gough’s!
Tug Boat, we do not have any kind of small suites. That would be far too fancy for my humble motel. I do like the idea of having an assprint stained onto something and we do have some rooms with comforters that are heavily stained, some of it likely from ass juice. Recently I had a customer who likely weighed over 600 pounds. He could barely walk around, so I generously made sure he got a room on the first floor. He then proceeded to order Door Dash deliveries at least 8 times during the night he was there. I was outside the main office for a smoke break and could hear enormous farts being ripped, even though he was 9 rooms down from the office. After he left I checked his room and found a huge wet stain on the comforter. My cleaning person was going to wash it but I told her to not waste water and to leave it for the next customer. It really isn’t in the form of an ass print, but more of a giant blob of a stain. But it still smells horrible. I’m glad I made the right decision and now some lucky deranged guest will be able to enjoy the stain while laying in bed getting bitten by bed bugs. Now doesn’t that sound cozy?!
Fart Fanatic, I’m not gay but I am cost-conscious. I would not stay in a room which reeked of the stench of anus and semen unless it meant a discount on the typical room rate. Sleeping in a bed which someone used a urinal a few days prior and which has not been cleaned in months is not something I desire to do unless it saves me a minimum of $5-10/night. This is just one of my tips for saving mo eg when traveling- perhaps I should do a podcast where I discuss various hacks to get discounts when traveling and staying at budget rate hotels??
Angie, I have heard that one of your rooms has a closet in which numerous famous guests have ripped wet farts. I heard that A-list celebrities such as Mr. Belding, Louie Anderson, Steven Seagal, Alec Baldwin, and Albert Pujols have loaded up on food at the nearby Denny’s and then come back to your fine motel and pulled down their pants to rip wet farts into the infamous closet. I also heard that there are signed photos of these celebrities in the act of farting into the closet. I have been at restaurants where signed photos of celebrities who have eaten there are hanging on the wall, so it is nice to know that your hotel has a similar idea with respect to a smelly closet filled with fart stench and on which the walls are coated with a thin film of fart spray. How much do you charge to rent this room???
Tug Boat, I totally understand where you’re coming from. As a motel proprietor I need to balance the various needs of different clientele. I have many budget conscious customers who stay with me because I am cheaper than the fancy Motel 6. I also have pimps, ho’s, drug dealers, and bums who stay here because they can ply their trades in the parking lot, and our rooms are cheap. Then there are the deranged members of the LGBTQ community who stay here for numerous depraved reasons. In the case of the stained and smelly comforter I would price it differently depending on the customer category. For you, a cost conscious customer, I’d discount it 30% from the regular room rate. That could be close to $20 many nights! I’d then make that back up by charging a deranged customer 50% more so they could get their rocks off while enjoying the stink.
Stinky, that room is a well kept secret and if I find out who told you about this I will ban them from my hotel for life. I understand your desire but you need to be a regular to even get rates for that room. Recently Jack Black stayed the night and blasted some rancid Denny’s fueled farts into the closet.
Angie, I have finally been released from prison and will soon plead guilty to a charge and be released. I am so glad to have my freedom and would like to take my family on a well deserved vacation. I’ve heard that the best place for that is Reno, Nevada, and I found your amazing motel online. As I have not worked in quite some time we are very budget conscious and are hoping for a discounted room. We are open to a room that may have a dog turd in it or some kind of smell, but my wife is demanding it not have human feces. We would be coming immediately if the price is right I’ve heard Reno’s 100+ degree heat, along with a stay in a budget motel, will really hit the spot. My family is also excited about the Denny’s. Please get back to me quickly.
Angie, I would love to stay at your hotel and open the closet door to find a weirdo bellhop dressed up as Screech. I would then whip in the nuts with my belt before pressing my ass up against his face and ripping powerful farts. Can you arrange this? I think that a large percentage of your deranged LGBT clientele would enjoy this. It would be even better if the bellhop is a demented freak who works for free and doesn’t request any tips.
Stinky, my motel doesn’t have a bell hop which would make your idea pretty entertaining. I suppose I could hit up our local deranged dumpster scene and look for someone willing to purchase their own bell hop outfit (unless they already own one) and see if they are willing to lurk in guests closets like a deranged weirdo for no money whatsoever. The Reno weirdo scene is very robust and I could likely find someone to do this. Their only compensation would be getting whipped in the nuts, and farted on. If some of the farts are thick enough they can get a free fart meal out of it that would be great. I think this is a good idea and I’m going to send my assistant manager to get right on this. I’m guessing by tonight we will have a weirdo bellhop lurking in random customers rooms. I’ll just have to remember what room the jackass is in!
Angie, I thought of a great way to drum up business for your upstanding economy motel. Do you remember those “Girls Gone Wild” videos which were advertised and sold maybe 20 years ago? Those videos would show real drunk girls flashing their boobs and doing crazy stuff while really drunk. Perhaps you could produce a similar video to advertise your motel and the Reno area in general? You could probably film this with an iPhone and could film yourself walking down the hallway as door-rattling farts emanate from each room? The sounds of loud butt-slamming and utterances of “Zoinks!” would also be recorded. You could show someone dressed up in a Screech costume exiting a room while coated in semen and a conspicuous diarrhea spray!
I also have another idea for a 1-900 number where you call and instead of it being a sex hotline, there is just someone ripping ass into the phone on the other end! I haven’t really thought this idea through, although I think it has potential- one could call, listen to someone stuffing their face with pizza, chips, and soda, followed by massive farts and belches into the phone!
Stinky, do you think an OnlyFans account would work? I’m thinking I could film homoerotic videos like you described, then sell them for a high price to deranged fans. I just don’t know if the deranged queer community uses OnlyFans? Do you think fans would be excited if I queefed in the face of the “Screech”?
Angie, I forgot to mention another idea which could help differentiate your America’s Best Travel Inn from the competition. Perhaps you could allow guests to request wake-up calls which consist of someone waking up to the sound of the person at the front desk ripping ass into the phone? That would certainly wake me up quickly!
Miss Angie, I have a question for you. Do you remember during the 1980s and 1990s when you could go through the drive-thru at a bank and you could place a signed check into a cylinder-shaped canister which was placed into a pneumatic tube which was quickly transported from the drive-thru line to a bank teller inside the bank, and vice-versa? I realize that this would probably be prohibitively expensive, but I think it would be really cool if you have a pneumatic tube delivery system to deliver huge turds to rooms at your fine motel. A big fat guy like Mr. Belding could be chowing down on greasy pizza or tacos in a kitchen room and could fill up cylinder canisters with his dumps whenever someone requested one and it would quickly be transported through the pneumatic tubes to the guest’s room! You could also transfer a canister full of farts this way. The possibilities are endless! I think that there would be huge demand for this, although your clientele probably wouldn’t have the means to pay enough to make this economically viable. :( Perhaps that guy in the United Arab Emirates could employ something like this at his hotel???
Stinky, I bet I could stream on TikTok or something like that. There are always weirdos on there that would love to listen to fat guys belching and farting in their cheap hotel rooms. It would get more exciting if there were sound of buttslamming and a Screech character covered in liquid shit. My concern would be building up an audience only to get banned for some silly reason. But I may give it a shot. At the least it would be great advertising for my budget motel.
Sicko, I do remember those pneumatic devices at banks. I like your idea and may look into it. I don’t know that I’d deliver turds or farts. Instead I would charge a fee for drug dealers to use it to safely solicit my customers. Just imagine if instead of having to do unsafe deals in the parking lot they could instead complete the transaction without ever needing to see each other? I would of course have to vouch for the dealer as the customer would have to pay first, and man would I pummel them if they tried to rip someone off! I could also let people know if they needed a fart or a turd it could be used for that also. But I think it would be a goldmine for illicit drug sales. I’m going to look tomorrow to see how expensive a setup like this would be.
Last night I cruised the dumpster scene and was able to find a deranged weirdo who is willing to dress in a Screech costume, while dressed as a bell hop. He will start tomorrow night and will lurk in closets, waiting to surprise guests. He eagerly accepted the job with no money whatsoever and said his only compensation will be potential “tips” in the form of farts. I’m just hoping some jacked up trucker doesn’t pummel him to death when this skinny freak jumps out of his closet dressed as a bell hop! I’ll let you know how things go. Here at Americas Best Travel Inn Reno we are always looking to innovate in order to bring our customers new services.
Angie, has a guy named Anthony ever stayed at your hotel? He was on an episode of my old show in 2007 when he tried to meet an underage boy for sex and kept telling me that he "wasn't gay or anything."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONBgKNA4N1E
Anthony is a big fat turd who fucks his own mother up the anus-hole.
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