Wednesday, November 29, 2023

Infamous Louie Anderson Dookie Story

A now-defunct website entitled "Poop Report" had many dookie stories which were allegedly truthful.  Perhaps the most infamous story on that website was of relatively famous comedian and former host of "Family Feud," Louie Anderson.  Although the website is unfortunately gone, I was able to locate a link to an archived version of the Louie Anderson story.  The story is reproduced below for your entertainment!

Louie Anderson

Posted 11.23.2004 by MotelShit (47)
Dave, I know this story sounds made up, but I swear to God this really happened! I could not make up something like this!!

I work in a small hotel in a medium size town in southern Minnesota. As a front desk employee, I am forced to deal with poop on a somewhat regular basis. The public bathroom gets clogged sometimes, and occasionally I have to deliver a plunger to an embarrassed guest -- thank God most people choose to plunge their own poo.

A few months ago I was working a shift with my manager, who is also my mother. She mentioned that Louie Anderson (you know, that guy from Family Feud and Coming to America) was going to be staying with us. Apparently he's originally from Minnesota, and was doing his act at our local VFW. I thought this was slightly unusual, since the town I live in is fairly unexciting. I asked my mother if I could be scheduled the morning he was due to check out. I'm not a big fan, but I wanted to see a real celebrity, just for the hell of it.

That morning I came into work and asked the night shift person if she'd seen Louie. She said she kept seeing him come and go through the back door via our surveillance camera. Apparently he returned each time with a McDonald's bag. I didn't believe her and figured she was making a joke about Louie's immense size, but she swore up and down that it was the truth. Determined to see for myself, I called my mother to get permission to watch the tapes. I explained why, and she told us to wait -- she wanted to see, too. My mom has a great sense of humor.

The three of us watched the tape from the night before and sure enough, we spotted Louie not once, not twice, not three times, but FOUR TIMES -- returning with not just one but SEVERAL Mickey D's bags each time. We got a big kick out of this, but then basically blew it off.

Eleven o'clock rolled around. Check out time. Louie chose not to formally check out, but instead just walked out the front door without saying much. I was slightly disappointed, but it was only Louie Anderson -- not someone REALLY famous. The night shift person and my mother had both left the building, so it was just me and the housekeepers. I paged the head of housekeeping and told them that Room 109 (Louie's room) was out, and they could clean it.

Soon after, two of the high school-aged housekeepers came to the front desk with looks of total disgust on their faces. I asked the girls what was wrong.

Their only reply: "You gotta see this."

I followed them down the hall to Room 109, wondering what Louie could have possibly done. He was only in there one night. The two young girls, though, had no clue who had been staying there. One of them said, "Whoever stayed in that room is a sick fuck."

I was puzzled, wondering what could be so horrible. And when the door opened, I was almost blown over backwards by the incredible stench.

I covered my nose and bravely entered the suite. I surveyed the room and saw what was probably the nastiest, dirtiest hotel room I had ever personally witnessed. (Ours is a small hotel, and we are used to mostly clean business people and Midwest families on the weekends). The room was littered with McDonald's bags EVERYWHERE -- on the floor, in the bathroom, on the couch, on the bed, on the sink and next to the toilet. Filet-o-Fish boxes covered the floor and the garbage cans; the housekeepers and I counted twenty-seven of them. The rose-colored couch had a large brown stain on it. The bed sheets had light streaks of brown. The toilet was FULL of liquid shit, as was the seat, the rim and the back of the toilet. Most of the towels were shit-soaked. The bathtub had various points of splatter.

I was so disgusted -- yet so amused -- that I had to leave the room and start laughing. The housekeepers thought I was insane. I told them who had actually stayed in the room, and they giggled a little bit.

I helped the two housekeepers clean the room. We had to put on full gear, and we practically threw away everything in the room. There was a pair of white poop-stained Hanes underwear in the bathroom garbage can. I suppose something like that would sell on Ebay to a die-hard Louie fan...but I wasn't about to save that stinky undergarment.

I know it sounds incredibly made up, but honest to God, I could NOT make this up.

-- MotelShit



78 comments:

Barf said...

Louie was a hero in the low bro motel queer community. He was well known for being a bit of a loner who enjoyed stuffing his face with more fast food than anyone on earth, then spraying diarrhea everywhere in his room. I had the pleasure of staying next to him one time in Omaha and the rancid smell of his liquid feces permeated my room through the air vent. I could hear him groaning as he forced out more and more diarrhea. I was never sure if he just loved fast food so much, and that was the result, or if he ate the fast food so he could get his rocks off by shitting everywhere in the room, this leaving a nice surprise for the cleaning staff. Either way Louie was a god amongst men when it came to coating his motel rooms with feces!

Angie said...

Louie was a doll and he stayed at my luxurious Americas Best Inn Reno many times. He would place to go orders from the convienently located Denny’s (we share a parking lot) and some nights I’d see him waddle over there 4 or 5 times. Louie appreciated we didn’t care if he shit all over the sheets, or towels. Unlike the fancy Motel 6! We also didn’t leer or bother him if he had a male visitor and I heard loud farts followed by moaning. That’s what you get at America’s Best. Some mornings I’d see him at checkout to get his key deposit back and he’d apologize and let me know his stomach had been acting up. I’d pat him on the head and tell him not to worry. I’d then send him on his way with a lovely queef.

Motel Fanatic said...

I have stayed at 1-star motels across the country and love them. I don’t mind dealing with a few cockroaches or slightly dirty rooms if it means I can save $10/night. Not all of us can afford to stay at luxury chains such as Motel 6, Super 8, or Econo Lodge. Angie is doing her part to provide affordable lodging to the masses. If a top tier celebrity like Louie Anderson thought that the America’s Best Travel Inn was good enough for him, then it is certainly good enough for me! Obviously he had some accidents after gorging on fast food, but who wouldn’t? I cannot imagine ingesting 20 great items from McDonald’s over a span of a few hours without starting to feel sick myself. It is a shame that Louie is no longer with us - I would would loved it if Louie was given bags of 30 greasy items of McDonald’s fast food and then locked in a motel room with Screech! I would put my ear up to the wall and listen in as Louie sprays diarrhea all over the room while Screech is overcome by the stench and begs to get out and get some fresh air! It would be both funny and homoerotic!!

Angie said...

Motel Fanatic, you’re my kind of customer. You understand that a few bed bug bites, and sleeping on a shit stained mattress, is worth it when you save $10 to $20 a night. Screech stayed at the America’s Best many times. He did so because it was inexpensive. Most times he didn’t even have the money upfront. I’d let him stay and pay in the mornings. Now doing a comedy act at a 7-11 or a Subway sandwich shop doesn’t pay much. So many times Screech would come back from doing his crappy comedy act, and put on his best Zubaz, then work the parking lot. A pimp named Rico took a shine to Screech and was always able to find a customer who wanted to rip farts in Screech’s face, then make him tongue his anus. By morning Screech would have just enough to pay for his room, and sometimes he had enough to get a small meal at Denny’s. He would normally be coated in feces, and chunks of his Jew fro would be missing, but he seemed to enjoy it. He loved the bed bugs and other creatures that make staying in our rooms a true safari adventure! I was always nice to Screech and let him have access to the crawl spaces in the walls so he could peer at unsuspecting customers while rubbing what he called his “zoinker”. Motel Fanatic, I don’t recall Louis Anderson and Screech ever staying at the same time, but if they had I bet they would have split a room to save money, then your story would have come true. Louis was a diarrhea spraying champion.

Anonymous said...

Angie, why does your establishment seem to hold almost continuous ‘fresh prince of bel air’ theme dumpster parties?

As an upstanding Reno citizen I’m sick of driving past these separated scenes. Has it only started since Brother Bilal made those allegations?

Motel Fanatic said...

Anonymous, I stayed at the Luxury Inn & Suites in Lincoln Nebraska back in 2019 when they had a “Fresh Prince of BELCH Air” contest. It was a massive belching contest which was quite entertaining. I remember one guy who looked like Uncle Phil drank an entire 2-liter of grape Crush and then released an epic 10-second belch which was quite impressive.

By the the way, if you don’t mind sleeping on pee-stained mattresses, the Luxury Inn & Suites is the place to go. The Yelp photos of an old mattress with dark yellow pee stains is quite a sight! This motel was one of the more memorable 1-star motels at which I have stayed over the years. I have problem with sleeping on a mattress which is slightly crusty from years of urine soaking into it if I can save $15/night, but maybe that’s just me.

https://yelp.to/w01pKgTrQy

Motel Fanatic said...

If any of you are ever in Lincoln, Nebraska and want to save a few bucks on your room, I strongly suggest staying at the Lincoln Luxury Inn. There are many Yelp reviews for this hotel, one of which pointed out that there was a cum stain on the headboard. Another reviewer wrote that there was a huge dump in the toilet of their room when they checked in and the toilet clogged when they attempted to flush it - when they reported it the the front desk, the attendant offered to let them borrow a plunger rather than sending maintenance staff up to clean the toilet! But hey, a cum stained room or a toilet full of someone else’s feces is a small price to pay in order to save money on a hotel room. After all, the most important thing about a hotel or motel is the price and I don’t mind if the maid forgets to clean my room.

https://yelp.to/H4hfM5RHbb

Angie said...

Anon, I’m sick of your yappin about Fresh Prince. If you don’t like what you see stop driving past my luxury motel! We host family reunions. Sometimes they have Fresh Prince themed reunions. Since we aren’t a fancy pants resort for the rich we don’t have lush gardens or ballrooms. We have a parking lot with a Denny’s. Our customers family reunions use our parking lot. It creates a picnic like atmosphere with boom boxes blasting rap music along with black families hanging out eating fried chicken, watermelon, and chugging grape soda and malt liquor. Sometimes a fresh prince contest breaks out with massive belching and some queer buttsex and massive farts. I encourage this. Yes some hubcaps may go missing, but that’s just part of the charm! For members of this site (except anon) I will give a discount of $5 per room Sun-Thursday nights. Just mention this site.

Buzzsaw said...

Angie, I’m sorry but I’ll spend the extra $20 a day for the Motel 6. Today I saw A Rod laying in the ground while Corky hovered his bubble butt over A Rod’s face. I then heard Corky grunt then relase a turd that was at least two feet long into A Rod’s mouth. A Rod gobbled that turd as Corky follows the turd with some nice machine gun farts. As this occurred Anthony Rizzo and Steve Bartman skipped by while holding hands. I’ll gladly spend $20 for her hot entertainment like that. It sounds like Americas Best was limited to people like Screech and Louie Anderson! Louie was known for crapping all over his room, while Screech was known for selling his ass to pay for his $20 room!

Motel Fanatic said...

Angie, there is nothing wrong with your hotel. You obviously cut corners to keep costs low, but you pass along the savings to hotel matrons. But I have to ask you where you find the sheets and blankets for your hotel rooms. Do you purchase them at Goodwill, find them on a treasure hunt at the garbage dump, or steal them from drunk homeless people? I ask because there seems to be an inordinate amount of pee, dookie, and barf stains on the sheets at your fine hotel. As long as you wash the sheets once in awhile, the stains are perfectly acceptable to me and most of the people who stay at your hotel. I’m sure that the cockroaches and bedbugs also enjoy a comfortable night’s sleep on those sheets.

Angie said...

Motel fanatic I hope you stop by soon as you seem to really appreciate my fine motel. I buy Amazon Basic sheets for each room once ever 3 years. I buy one set per room at about $15 a sheet set. The blankets last for decades as do the comforters. I only replace them when absolutely necessary and scout out thrift shops when a purchase that substantial is needed. Most times I can get a blanket for $5 and a comforter for $20. The sheets are washed weekly unless there is a bodily fluid release. You can bet that if the prior guest crapped in the bed the sheets were washed! Towels can last about 10 years and shrink over time until they are barely the size of face towels. They become like sandpaper which I think is like a luxury spa and exfoliate the skin. If you’ve noticed we also keep prices down by not having fancy things like those new key carded doors. We use keys like our ancestors did. I charge a $40 deposit for the key, but you get it back when you check out and return it. That probably saves a quarter per room per night!

Urine Dude said...

Ms. Angie, I stayed in room 16 at the America’s Best Travel Inn back in late 2019. I didn’t like all of the cockroaches or the blood stains on the walls. However, I have a bit of a fetish for the smell of urine and I have to say that the urine stench emanating from this room was intoxicating! Gallons of piss must have coated every inch of the room during the previous decade. I give your hotels five stars based entirely on the urine stench!!

Angie said...

Urine dude, I think you’d be pleased. We have put more attention into cleaning bodily fluids from all surfaces and sheets. We did this during Covid as we were under threat of closure by Neanderthals from the government. Now our rooms are bodily fluid free normally, but the aging stench of feces and urine still lingers in many rooms like an old friend. If you stay with us again just request one of our “stench of urine” rooms and we will hook you up. No extra charge! Now show me another 1 star motel that does that!

Motel Fanatic said...

I stayed at the Motel 6 in Wichita, KS a couple years ago. The urine weirdo who post posted might like that motel. As documented on Yelp, there are barf stains on doors, blood stains on the floor, and pee-stained sheets. He might not be into the barf or blood, but he should be happy to know that sheet have been soaked in urine to such an extent that they are now permanently stained! That motel follows the typical 15-year life span for sheets, regardless of level of staining, as most 1-star hotels also follow. There was also a funky stench in my room - it smelled like baked ass, almost as if someone had ripped heinous farts in there for hours and only stopped minutes before I entered the room. But there was another odor beside stinky anuses - I’m pretty sure that it was a bit of a urine stench.

In any event, those of you into 1-star hotels with bodily fluid stains and funky stenches in many rooms should check out that Motel 6 https://m.yelp.com/biz/motel-6-wichita

Pig Pen said...

Buuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppppppp!!! Boys I’m loving the reviews of potential future motels to visit! Right now the Motel 6 Reno is spot on and the place to be! Today I was watching Corky buttslamming A Rod when the stench of ball stink hit me and nearly knocked me over! As I looked around I couldn’t figure out whose balls reeked so badly it filled the air. Then I saw him. The one, the only, RoadiePC himself. The real Problem Child. He strutted in in acid washed jeans and a mullet so greasy the tiniest spark would set it ablaze! He strutted past me while giving me the devil horn rock and roll salute. This time his ball stank did knock my ass over and when I got up he was heading into a room 3 doors down from mine!

Ann Silver said...

Hello everyone. My name is Ann Silver and I am the president of the Reno Chamber of Commerce. We are having our annual awards dinner buffet for the hotel industry. One of our most renowned awards is the annual “Screech Powers” award for the lowest rated hotel/motel in Reno. Some of the criteria for winning this award include (a) the level of cockroach/bedbug infestation; (b) typical bodily fluid room stainage; (c) number of crackheads within vicinity of hotel/motel; and, of course, (d) urine stench. This year, our three finalists are America’s Best Travel Inn, the Motel 6 of Reno, and the Ramada by Wyndham Reno Hotel & Casino. The America’s Best Travel Inn has won the Screech Powers award for the past five years, but the Ramada Inn could knock the America’s Best Travel Inn from its perch as there are reports of an intense urine stench in the elevators at the Ramada! Come join us for our awards dinner on December 20th in room 1b at the Reno Sparks Convention Center. Our dinner is being catered by Arby’s. We’re looking forward to a great ceremony!

Barf said...

Guys, I’m at the Motel 6 and just watched a fine episode of the New Class. In it Coach Rizzo had a major herpes flare up and wasn’t able to teach his sex ed class. This made it necessary for Mr. Belding and for some reason Screech, to fill in. Mr. Belding told the class he and Screech would teach them sex ed. He then slugged Screech in the gut. When Screech bent over in pain he pressed his ass to Screech’s head and ripped a nasty fart. Screech fell to the ground and convulsed in pleasure while Mr. Belding ripped off Screech’s Zubaz pants then pulled out a rusty car antenna and began whipping Screech’s balls over and over. The class watched in amazement as their principal beat his assistants tiny ball sac with a rusty car antenna over and over. Mr. Belding then said sex ed was over and gave a test that everyone failed. Mr. Belding blamed Screech for everyone failing before ripping a few chunks of his Jew fro out of his head!

Larry Dong said...

Barf, Mr. Belding was a fantastic substitute teacher for Sex Ed in that episode. He taught everyone about Screech’s perverted sexual deviancy. It was obviously Screech’s fault that they failed the test because Screech was being such a gigantic faggot that everyone was laughing too hard at Screech to pay attention to what Mr. Belding was teaching that day. Screech deserved to have huge chunks of his greasy Jew-fro torn out by Mr. Belding as punishment.

Barf said...

Larry, it was a pretty solid episode and I’ll admit I cranked one off while watching. Seeing the class laugh hysterically as Mr. Belding whipped Screech’s nuts was awesome. I’m not positive but for a second the camera panned to the door and I swear I saw Mrs. Powers peering in. It may have just been shoddy camerawork, but I swear that I saw her. If I did I’m sure she was fingering herself while watching Mr. B attacking her son. When class ended the kids were sad they failed the test and many stopped to kick Screech with a few of the guys squatting down to rip farts in Screech’s face. It was a solid episode for a show that by that point was on the decline.

Gary McAnus said...

A-Rod has recently been trying to cut back on spending during his extended vacation in Reno, NV. He’s obviously trying to save money by staying at a 1-star rated Motel 6. He also rented a microwave and has been cooking cheap microwaveable pizzas he bought at Walmart. Yesterday, Mr. Belding ate 12 microwaveable pepperoni pizzas, which caused him to have bad gas. Let me tell you that when Mr. Belding has bad gas, his farts are eye-wateringly noxious! In any event, A-Rod decided to treat the love of his life, Corky, by taking Corky and his best buddy, Mr. Belding, to zoo closest to where they are staying in Reno. Specifically, he took them to the Sierra Nevada Zoological Park. Corky loves zoos and was so happy that he immediately overflowed his diaper with dookie when A-Rod told him where they were going. When they arrived, Corky asked the zookeeper where the rhinos were. When the zookeeper pointed out that it is a small zoo and they didn’t have any rhinos, Corky got mad and was about to belt A-Rod until he got distracted when he looked over and saw a huge Siberian Tiger. Corky then ran over to its cage and Mr. Belding waddled over while munching on a huge super pretzel. When they got near the tiger cage, Mr. Belding started to feel ill from all of the crappy microwaveable pepperoni pizzas he had eaten earlier in the day and suddenly unleashed a super loud 12-second fart which had an atrocious stench! When his noxious gas hit the tiger, its eyes rolled into the back of its head and then it keeled over and instantly died!!! Corky started crying and then when Mr. Belding said it was from the pizza A-Rod had purchased for him, Corky flew into a violent ‘tard rage and started slapping and kicking A-Rod, blaming him for killing the tiger! When A-Rod responded that maybe Mr. Belding shouldn’t have stuffed so many of them into his mouth, Corky was so enraged that he punched A-Rod in the balls and then ass-raped him in from of the animals and the zoo workers! A lemur in a nearby cage picked up its own doodoo and threw it at A-Rod during this attack! Corky sure taught A-Rod a lesson!

Fred said...

Gary, that was totally A Rod’s fault. They are on a vacation and he’s making Mr. Belding eat microvable pizza? I’m near certain it has to be those tiny ass Mama Celeste personal pizzas. They microwave in two minutes and taste like shit. I think you heat them in one of those silver sleeves that likely has some type of cancer causing chemicals in it. That’s likely what caused Mr. Belding gastrointestinal distress. Why A Rod wouldn’t spring for some delivery pizza is beyond me. Thankfully Corky taught A Rod a good lesson about being such a lowlife cheapskate!

Mitch said...

Fred, one of our maids did their weekly cleaning of the room Corky and A-Rod are renting with Mr. Belding. The maid said that it reeked of the stench of stale farts in the room. She also said that there were about 20 microwave pizza boxes for Walmart’s “Great Value” brand pizza. A-Rod didn’t want to spend the money on Mama Celeste pizzas, but instead went with the $1.17 Great Value brand pepperoni pizzas. If you spend $1.17 on a microwaveable pizza, you just know it can’t be good!

Mitch said...

Hey everybody, I want to let everyone know about a special deal we are having at the Motel 6. We gave Mr. Belding an all-you-can-eat pepperoni pizza feast and then had him walk into a block of available rooms and ripped powerful and stinky 12-second farts in each room to “freshen” up the air for his gay fanbase. Come on down and rent a room before they sold out! The cost is a mere $120/night, a real steal!

Fart Fanatic said...

Mitch, your offer stinks! I checked online and your regular rate for tonight is $49.99. With my motel 6 loyalty card I save 6% off that! Now how can a stale fart be worth $70? Especially when we all know Mr. Belding is giving those farts away for free in public? I’m quite certain I could get him to fart in my room many times by plying him with a few slices of pepperoni pizza that would cost me $5. Don’t try and take advantage of your blossoming queer clientele or we will head back to Americas Best Inn! The last time I stayed there my room stank like shit and Angie didn’t try and upcharge me!

Pedro Pudpumper said...

Whatever, you godammned pizza-freaks need to stuff it in your suckhole, faggots..

Pedro Pudpumper said...

And lick my butthole too..

FBI Agent McGinty said...

Pedro, you are in big trouble. Not only are you likely an undocumented alien, but now you’ve committed a hate crime, and I’m throwing in terroristic comments as well. Turn yourself in immediately, as if we have to find you, which should take about 10 minutes, I will be forced to teabag you while my team of agents farts in your face and pummels your butthole. When you commit a hate crime against deviant queer members of our society you are worse then Hitler!

Hollywood Producer said...

Back in 1990 I was helping cast the movie Home Alone. It called for a cute 10 year old boy who would get left Home Alone at Christmas. One of the actors who came in was Screech. At the time he was 13 and known for Saved by the Bell. I have no idea how he felt he was right for the part. He strutted in thinking he was a big shot with a giant Jew fro and beak nose. He was wearing the same shit he wore on SBTB. Zubaz pants and a multi colored shirt, along with some super gay looking sunglasses. He told us he felt he was perfect for the part even though he was a teenager and we were looking for a much younger child. We had him do the scene where Kevin is shaving and yells after he puts on aftershave. Everyone knows the trademarked scene in the movie when Kevin puts his hands to his cheeks and yells. Well Screech put on the aftershave, looking hideous with his bird chest and beak nose along with a face covered in zits, and yelled “Zoinks” in this ridiculous falsetto voice. I could hear everyone in the room groan. We told him we’d be in touch and he told us we could contact his agent “Gem Diamond”. When he left we all burst out laughing and I saw one of the casting agents farting and rubbing his ass on Screech’s headshot. Can you imagine if Screech had been given the role of Kevin McCalister?!

Jizz the Casting Agent said...

I was a casting agent on Home Alone 2. For some reason Screech auditioned again. He was supposed to audition for “kid in dumpster” as it was taking place in NYC. Instead he showed up at almost 16 and said he should replace Macaulay as Kevin. He then talked about how great he was at chess and did some awful karate moves. He also talked a lot about Mr. Belding and how great he was as a mentor. When we told him we didn’t think his idea was a good one he stomped out of the room. Unbeknownst to him the Wet Bandits were right outside and had heard everything. They grabbed him and tossed him in a small closet, then began ripping ass into it over and over then closing the door. We could hear Screech yelling Zoinks and begging to be let out. This went on for about 3 days as they kept Screech trapped overnight and would return the next day to continue farting on him. One time I went past the closet I was pretty sure I heard buttslamming and a lot of Zoinks, but I can’t be sure what was going on at that moment.

Mitch said...

Fart Fanatic, thank you for posting your concerns. You raise valid point. But I realized that I neglected to mentioned one of the best features of the rooms in the deal I had mentioned. You know how people sometimes use air fresheners which constantly emit a pleasant-smelling odor? Instead of using an air freshener with emits the smell of flowers or cinnamon, we instead hang a pair of Mr. Belding’s underwear from a hook on the ceiling of each room. Each pair of the under I was worn by Mr. B for at least 24 hours and he ripped hundreds of farts in each - there are also noticeable dark yellow pee stains in the front and dark Hershey stains in the back. The half life of the stench emanating from the underwear is surprisingly long and these really stink up a room. I’m amazed at how popular my deal has been - quite a few sexual deviants have contacted us already to rent rooms!

Smiddy said...

I saw that Corky’s girlfriend from Life Goes On died a few days ago. I remember reading that Corky was mad when she was cast as his girlfriend on the show because he wanted normal girl as his girlfriend because none of the hookers he hired in real life were Downers. Corky always thought there should have been storylines about him impregnated many women in the neighborhood for his diseased ‘tard seed.

Corky Fanatic said...

Smiddy, I have inside info that when A Rod told him about her passing on Corky laughed and ripped a smell fart. Corky tends to hold a grudge and is still unhappy he wasn’t able to have a normie girlfriend. With all the shenanigans they let him get away with him dating normies and impregnating whores should have happened. It would have been hysterical if numerous women had little Corky’s and Corky denied they were his, even when they were obviously downers who looked just like him!

Fart Fanatic said...

Mitch, that sounds like a much better offer. It did bring up a question. If one pays for your $120 Mr. Belding room are his stunk up Hanes underwear a souvenir that we can keep? After my stay I’d like to hang them from the rear view mirror in my car like an air freshener. It would make my drive to and from work a delight as I could bask in the stench. Ughhhhh I just lost a massive load thinking about this! Please get back to me quickly Mitch!

Mitch said...

Fart Fanatic, yes, the people renting the rooms are permitted to take home the pair of Mr. Belding’s soiled underwear as a souvenir. Let’s be honest - many of the people who rent rooms because Mr. Belding’s underwear is stinking up the room do so in order to sniff the underwear while pleasuring themselves. Obviously we don’t want the subsequent guest to have a pair which the previous guest had jerked off onto. By the way, you can also purchase additional pairs in the motel guest shop next if you are interested- they make great stocking stuffers! If you are a “secret Santa,” it is also the perfect gift!

Inside Man said...

Today Corky watched Home Alone 2 while he and Mr. Belding chowed down on some delivery pepperoni pizza’s. Corky was mesmerized by Kevin’s journey to New York at Christmas time and began to think how he was also away from home. But instead of staying at the Plaza Hotel and eating unlimited snacks, ice cream, and Pizza, he was in a dumpy motel with a little microwave A Rod bought to try and make his best friend in the universe save a few bucks by eating tiny “great value” pizza’s that had made him sick. When he explained this to Mr. Belding the Big Bopper just shook his head, then said “this place is a dump”. When A Rod returned from Wal-Mart with a bunch of store brand 2 liters of soda and another 20 tiny frozen pizzas Corky began yelling at him about how the Home Alone kid got treated better then he did! A Rod was confused but explained that New York is very expensive and the Motel 6 in Reno is a good value vacation. At this Mr. Belding lifted his leg and ripped a 14 second wet fart which made Corky laugh. He laughed even harder when A Rod smelled the fart and crinkled his nose and began coughing. Corky then said he and Mr. B needed to go to New York and stay at a fancy hotel, ride in limo’s, eat pizza, and visit toy stores. He said Mr. B was getting annoyed at all the weirdos clamoring for pairs of his old underpants! When A Rod said he’d think about it Corky became enraged and kicked A Rod in the balls, then ripped off his Yankees pants and ass raped him mere feet from Mr. Belding who was gobbling up a bag of Doritos and watching Family Feud! It sure sounds like there is trouble in paradise!

Larry Dong said...

Inside Man, is it possible that A-Rod has some type of royalty deal with Mitch which actually results in him turning a profit on this extended vacation in Reno? A-Rod is keeping costs low by buying those crappy “Great Value” microwave pizzas at Walmart. Maybe he is getting a percentage of the revenue from all of the people renting those old office swivel chairs to sit in while jerking off outside of Corky’s room when he’s butt-slamming A-Rod? Add in a royalty from selling Mr. B’s stinky permanently stained underwear and A-Rod has to be making a tidy profit! Also, did A-Rod rent a mini fridge, or does he just set the little pizzas on the dresser before Mr. B cooks them? Those things are supposed to be frozen!

Inside Man said...

Larry, I had the same questions regarding the pizzas. Those mini fridge freezers aren’t really meant to keep things frozen. If A Rod doesn’t even have that he may be trying to get Mr. Belding sick so he’ll produce more rank farts. I know this started with a half priced room. But there is no way Mitch is getting those stank ass underpants from anyone but A Rod. A Rod considers himself a smart businessman and likely sees this as a major financial deal. He likely huffs the stink himself first, then sells them to Mitch. I’ll bet there are other kickbacks as well. If Corky find out he will certainly pummel A Rod and may even finally leave him for someone who will treat he and his best friend better. I can’t imagine Christmas at a one star hotel with noise from a freeway being overly enjoyable. Corky deserves the Home Alone NYC experience!

Larry Dong said...

Inside Man, we all assume that A-Rod only permits Mr. Belding to tag along because he’s Corky’s best friend. However, I am starting to wonder whether A-Rod actually enjoys having Mr. Belding around because he loves the stench of Mr. B’s farts. Mr. B is not an attractive man at this point in life as he is morbidly obese and really let himself go. But maybe A-Rod thinks he’s getting best of both of them when he gets to fondle Corky’s huge dong while inhaling Mr. Belding’s stinky farts?? Perhaps he secretly enjoys being butt-slammed by Corky while Mr. B is on the bed five feet away ripping heinous window-rattling farts while munching on chips and watching Dukes of Hazzard reruns?

Inside Man said...

Larry, I would say it’s a near certainty that the deviant A Rod loves having Mr. Belding sharing a room with him. He could easily have gotten the Big Bopper his own room. Instead he got two doubles. Just imagine sharing a bathroom with Mr. Belding?! He must constantly overflow the toilet and I’m certain when he showers he leaves skid marks all over the towels. A Rod must bask in this depravity and likely runs in after Mr. B takes a big dump so he can take a steamy shower and create a horrid fart sauna atmosphere! Im sure he also gets off on being manhandled by Corky while he’s being buttslammed, and can also count on the putrid stench of Mr. Beldings farts from just a foot or two away! I believe A Rod is taking advantage of Mr. Belding. It sounds like Corky is standing up for he and his best buddy by demanding a luxury NYC vacation. A Rod may be thinking fart sauna in a $50 a night room, but after watching Home Alone 2 Corky is thinking of a big suite with unlimited room service and mini bar snacks!

Simon said...

I am a sales associate in the men’s department at the Macy’s in the Meadowood Mall located in Reno, NV. Last week, Mr. Belding came to the mall looking for a new pair of jeans. He was looking for jeans which were 32 inches in length and 48 inches in width. Let me tell you, it is very difficult to find jeans in those dimensions and I informed him that we didn’t carry any jeans in that particular size and that he might need to either go to a Levi’s outlet to purchase overalls or he would have to get them custom made. But I did suggest that he might consider buying a couple pairs of XXL sweatpants, cutting them down the middle and then seeing them back together. He agreed and then grabbed a couple pairs and walked to the dressing room area. He was too large to fit in one the dressing rooms, so I suggested that he go to the men’s room to see how they might look sewed together. As he waddled toward the men’s room, I suddenly discovered that Corky and A-Rod suddenly emerged from an escalator and walked to the men’s room after Mr. B. The door to the men’s room shut and then I heard what sounded like a bomb going off on the men’s room. I walked toward the men’s room when the stench of a rank anus hit me like a freight train - Mr. B had obviously just ripped a heinous fart! Then I heard some loud butt-slamming along with someone yelling “you’re the ‘tard now. I’m gonna f you back to Mexico!” I’m not sure exactly what happens, but Mr. Belding and Corky emerged from the bathroom and Mr. B used A-Rod’s credit card to purchase the sweatpants. A-Rod limped out of the men’s room in conspicuous pain and was covered in semen, feces, and blood several minutes later. So much damage was done to the men’s room that it is going to have to be completely rebuilt at A-Rod’s expense…

Inside Man said...

Today A Rod was further pestered by Corky about his idea for a NYC vacation. A Rod broke down crying in front of Mr. B and Corky and told them he was going to open up to them. He then told them he was scared of NYC as he had once had a condo there with lovely views of the city. He explained how he had a beautiful bathroom with huge windows that he loved sitting in while taking a dump. He then told them that someone in a building next to his had taken a zoomed in picture of him sitting on the toilet while taking a dump and spread it all over the internet. A Rod sobbed as he relived this incident and said thankfully he had a towel over his legs so he wasn’t further exposed but the trauma the incident had caused him made him never want to return to NYC. He said he hoped as his friends they would understand. Corky and Mr. B sat there for a few seconds, stunned by this revelation. Then they both burst out laughing, with Corky yelling at A Rod that he was a huge faggot for caring about someone taking a picture of him going dookie. Mr. B laughed hysterically then lifted his leg and ripped a window rattling 9 second fart. Mr. B said he encouraged people to take pictures of him taking a dump and hoped they caught his massive dong in the picture. Corky giggled and nodded approvingly then said A Rod was better with the towel as no one wanted to see his pencil eraser of a weiner. A Rod began crying harder which annoyed Corky who slapped A Rod around then tore off his Yankees pajamas and ass raped him while Mr. Belding guzzled a 2 litter of Mountain Dew and belched repeatedly. As Corky pounded away he told A Rod that was no excuse for denying he and his best friend in the universe a NYC vacation.

Smiddy said...

Simon, A-Rod should have been arrested for bringing Mr. Belding and Corky with him to that Macy’s. If someone gives a machine gun to a monkey and then the monkey shoots a bunch of people, you don’t blame the monkey - you blame the person who have the gun to the monkey!

Inside Man, Mr. Belding and Corky are obviously comfortable in their own skin and don’t care if anyone leers at them when they are using the toilet. They are proud of their massive dongs and enormous and stinky dumps!

Anonymous said...

Their dongs and nuts probably dip all the way into the toilet-water too :)《---

Weirdo said...

Today I was enjoying myself on my purchased swivel chair outside Mr. Beldings room. I was jerking off to the sound of Corky buttslamming A Rod when the sliding glass window opened and Mr. Beldings enormous ass appeared. The swivel chair patrons cheered and jerked off as Mr. Belding let loose a monster shit. It had to be over 4 feet long and smelled like garbage. I immediately jizzed wildly as did most of my other swivel chair companions! We watched as Mr. Belding used the shabby curtains to wipe his ass. Can life get any better than this?

Merv the Perv said...

Mitch, I almost blew my load reading Weirdo’s comment and I’ve not even rubbing one out! Please tell me that there are rooms available with curtains with which Mr. Belding has wiped his stinky anus after going dookie!! Between his soiled underwear hanging from a hook and stained curtains, the rooms must reek of the stench of Mr. B’s dirty, rarely washed, anus. Also, I would like to purchase a set of curtains used by Mr. Belding to wipe his dirty butthole. I also think it would be cool if Mr. Belding were to walk around his room while wearing ass-less pants and no underwear - I bet he could really “freshen up” a chair or even the bed by simply sitting on it while ripping ass and generally dripping ass sweat all over it.

I can’t post any longer, I need to crack one off!

Mitch said...

Merv, thanks for inquiring about the Motel 6 in Reno. To answer your question, yes there are a couple room with drapes which have feces stains. However, these stains were from patrons other than Mr. Belding. It is surprisingly common for our clientele to use draperies to wipe their asses after taking dumps or spraying diarrhea. But you gave me a good money-making idea - I am going to coordinate with Mr. Belding to ensure that there are draperies which have been soiled with his feces in a block of rooms. We will also offer them for sale to the more deviant of you. Also, starting on Tuesday, Mr. Belding is going to take massive dumps inside several of the window heater/AC units so that they they are turned on, the stench of anus is recycled into the rooms!

Feces Fanatic said...

Mitch, your Motel 6 is becoming of great interest to the deranged feces community. I can only imagine enjoying a room at your establishment with shit coated drapes, a nice big dookie left in the toilet (Im sure you could arrange Mr. Belding leaving a nice welcome shit in my toilet) a massive dookie in the AC/Heater that ensures when the heater runs it blows particles of feces into the air! It would create a very nice environment that would create the kind of room environment I desire. I would also rent a swivel chair if you can guarantee nightly shows of Mr. B crapping out his window, then wiping his ass with the drapes! Corky regularly overflowing his diaper and going dookie everywhere is just a major bonus!

Mitch said...

Feces Fanatic, for an additional fee, we can arrange for Mr. Belding to take a dump in your sink before you arrive. Many our our guests prefer to have an enormous turd from a big celebrity, such as Mr. Belding, in their sink instead of their toilet. Unfortunately, we no longer have dresser drawers as otherwise I would suggest that you use one of the drawers as a sock/underwear drawer and would offer to have Mr. B take an enormous dump into that drawer so that you can walk around in feces-soaked underwear and socks the next day. However, we do have various shelves on which he could spray diarrhea, if you are into that sort of thing..,

Big-CityBad-BoyBitchassButtfuck said...

Idiot retards.. :(

Kuntsucker said...

And assfucks too..

Inside Man said...

Today Mr. Belding was laying on his Motel 6 bed and he leaned over to rip a fart in A Rod’s direction. After ripping a 12 second fart the right side of the bed groaned, then collapsed. Mr. Belding was able to roll to the left side of the bed and averted near disaster. A Rod immediate got annoyed and said Mr. Belding was so fat he’d broken the bed. Corky jumped to his best buddies defense and said the bed was a shoddy piece of shit, and so was A Rod. Mr. Belding ripped a 9 second fart, then told A Rod unbeknownst to him he and Corky had been getting into amazing shape. When A Rod asked what the hell he as talking about Mr. Belding pointed to the mini fridge and asked A Rod how he didn’t notice he and Corky had cut down on their Mountain Dew consumption and had replaced it with Gatorade. Corky chimed in that he’d already drank 9 bottles that day and high fived his best buddy. Mr. Belding said he’d drank 2 bottles and felt like he was in the best shape of his life. A Rod shook his head and said Gatorade wasn’t a healthy drink and it was full of sugar and unneeded carbs unless you were vigorously working out and needed them. Mr. Belding said the bottles said nothing about that and A Rod didn’t know what he was talking about. Corky said he also felt fantastic from all the Gatorade and was thinking about kicking A Rod’s ass for annoying him. Corky then demanded he get his best chum a new bed, then karate chopped A Rod in the throat. As Mr. Belding chugged a fruit punch flavored Gatorade Corky ripped off A Rod’s Yankees pants then ass raped him as Mr. Belding ripped farts and chugged his sports drink.

Larry Dong said...

Inside Man, A-Rod obviously didn’t think ahead - he should have made sure that the bed could support Mr. Belding’s 500lb body. Mr. Belding has to constantly stuff his face with unhealthy junk food in order to be able to produce the heinous farts which A-Rod secretly loves. You’d think A-Rod would be a little more considerate- what a selfish jerk!

Jay Stench said...

I was at the airport yesterday to get on a flight for a business trip. Before my flight, I went to the bathroom to take a piss. As I was washing my hands, I heard someone in one of the stalls rip loud and nasty fart as he apparently sprayed diarrhea/took a massive dump. It reminded me of Screech and A-Rod and made me think about either of them busting the door open and leer at the man on the toilet and sniff the stink odors! It was all I could do to keep from laughing!

Gary McAnus said...

Last night, Corky told A-Rod that he wanted to remake "Life Goes On" and that he wanted A-Rod to have a role on the show. A-Rod said that he thought it was a great idea, but pointed out that he is a retired baseball superstar, not an actor. A-Rod asked whether he was going to be Corky's love interest on the show, which A-Rod thought would be be a fantastic storyline and that everyone would want to watch. A-Rod also said that checking in on Corky 30 years later to see how he's dealing with Down's Syndrome as a man in his late 50s. Corky said that A-Rod was an idiot and pointed out that on the reboot, Corky would play a normal person, whereas A-Rod would be a retard. Corky continued, saying that A-Rod would play a retarded Mexican guy who mows Corky's lawn for $5/month. A-Rod replied that he isn't Mexican but that even if he was, he wouldn't mow the lawn for $5/month. A-Rod also said that the going rate is around $50 or more per lawn cut per months, so more like $200/month than the $5 that Corky mentioned. Corky got mad at A-Rod for interrupting him and then slugged A-Rod in the gut! Corky further said that on the show, A-Rod would make extra money by letting men at a rest stop fart in his face and cum in his hair. Corky also pointed said that part of the story line is based on A-Rod's life, but the difference is that he is being paid for it on the show. At this point, A-Rod was so sad that he started crying. Corky got annoyed and then slapped A-Rod in the face before pulling down his Yankees uniform pants and ass-raping him while Mr. Belding ate a huge can of blueberry pie filling before releasing an epic 12-second belch!

Barf said...

Jay, it’s so sad we no longer have Screech to man bathrooms like that. He would truly have been in paradise in a major airport. He could have tongued the buttholes of people from all over the world! That man would have been shocked when Screech opened the door, then went to town on his butthole while also giving him a sublime reach around. Now that you’ve mentioned it I’m shocked Screech never tried this. He likely never had the funds to buy a ticket to gain entrance to the departure gates. He could have lived in the international departures wing forever. Lurking from bathroom to bathroom and sleeping wherever. He may even have been able to get a few long haul trips where he’d be kept in a tiny closet in the cockpit where the pilot, co-pilot, and navigator would all rip ass into it while delighting in Screech yelling Zoinks and begging for fresh air.

Gary, A Rod is such a moron. This has come up many times before and each time A Rod thinks he’s going to be Corky’s lover and play a role as a former baseball superstar. It’s hysterical when Corky then breaks him down to where he merely mows Corky’s lawn for $5 month and is a Mexican!

Larry Dong said...

Barf, people tend to eat more junk food or at least food they aren’t as familiar with when they travel, leading to a higher incidence of diarrhea. Screech missed a golden opportunity as he could he loitered in a men’s room at an airport, sniffing farts, eating ass, giving reach-arounds, and earning potentially several dollars per day, which is certainly more than he earned on his typical comedy club nights. He could have also eaten garbage - I bet that there were uneaten fries and pizza crusts in garbage bins near fast food restaurants! It would have been a paradise for Screech!!

Barf said...

Larry, those were my thoughts exactly. Almost everyone feels gross after an international flight. Screech could one second have been tonguing the anus of a fat Pakistani man, then let a smelly Indian piss in his jewfro the next! He would have made solid tips in many different currencies, and as you said the trash would have provided him a large assortment of crap to eat. I doubt they would have let him hang a hammock in a stall like he did at many rest stops, but I’m sure he could have found a nook to sleep in. They normally have free WiFi so if his Zubaz brand cellphone was able he could have watched all the gay porn he could handle!

Angie said...

I’d like to announce that from now through the new year anyone from this fine forum can get a room for 50% off. Also, we had another family reunion this weekend and a large number of black families partied in the parking lot and our rooms. A few puked in their rooms, and most of them overflowed the toilets letting feces water run everywhere. There are some new shit stains on the drapes, towels, and sheets. I am saving these fine rooms for members of this board. One of the family reunion guests drank a number of bottles of Mad Dog 20/20 then crashed his 1978 Cadillac into his room. There is some severe damage, such as a massive hole in the front of the room, no door, the glass is gone from the window, and the heat no longer works. I am knocking 75% off this room! Hope to see everyone for the holidays. For those of you that find the Motel 6 pricey, and too fancy, come stay at my motel and save some $$$$.

Larry Dong said...

Barf, there was a 2004 Tom Hanks movie like what you described! I never saw it, but it had something to do with someone living at an airport for years. There definitely should have been a reboot starring Screech before he died. Screech would have an international smorgasbord of nasty farts and diarrhea sprays from random dudes flying in from around the world! Screech would have slept on the floor of a bathroom stall in a puddle of urine every night! It certainly had the potential to be a big hit!

Ted said...

Back in 2013 I was traveling from Grand Rapids Michigan to Albuquerque New Mexico. At the Grand Rapids airport I ate a number of Cinnabon treats and also drank a bunch of Coffee. After a bit my tummy started rumbling and I knew I was going to have diarrhea. I went to the bathroom and it stank like ass. I went into a stall and began spraying diarrhea when I heard the loudest fart from the stall next to mine. Then I heard diarrhea. Seconds later an even louder fart roared and this one knocked over the wall seperatijg my stall from theirs. The stall wall fall on my head and as I maneuvered out from under it I saw Mr. Belding wiping his ass with gobs of toilet paper that he threw on the floor, then he walked out over the broken stall wall without even bothering to check on me! He didn’t wash his hands and just left the bathroom. I had to crawl out from under the broken wall and found security who briefly looked for Mr. Belding but never found him. What the hell was up with that!?

Tom Hanks said...

Hi Larry, I’m glad you mentioned my movie “The Terminal” where I play a weird guy from a tiny country no one has ever heard of. My country disappears overnight and that makes my passport invalid. I then have to live in the airport for months on end, doing construction work to survive. I was annoyed with that movie myself. I felt there should have been a lot of bathroom scenes. It’s well known airport bathrooms are high end hook up spots for elite deviants. One merely needs to look at the Larry Craig incident to see one can even hook up with members of Congress in airport bathrooms! Well, I wanted to have about half the movie revolve around hot bathroom action with lots of hardcore gay sex, loud farts, and some scat play. I even tried to get in touch with Screech, as I felt my character would have liked it if he manned the bathroom as a deviant bathroom attendant with a little tip hat. I imagined my character farting in his face and pissing in his Jew fro and tipping him a quarter I made from returning one of those airport carts. Alas the director felt this would turn off everyone but the deranged queer crowd. I to this day feel that movie would have done much better if we had done it my way!

Smiddy said...

Tom Hanks, it is too bad that Screech is no longer with us. If Hollywood made a movie about that Democrat intern who has been in the news for the past few days for filming himself being butt-slammed in the Capital Building, Screech could have played that role! Mr. Belding or even you could have played the guy butt-slamming him!

Feces Fanatic said...

Hey everyone, I was at the Wadsworth Rest Stop in the westbound direction off the I-80 in Reno a couple days ago and the scene was off the hook! There were about twenty guys loitering in the men’s room and in the area outside behind the men’s room. There was a guy dressed up to look like A-Rod and there was also someone dressed up as a Screech. There were a bunch of truckers there who wore shirts which read “Mr. Belding,” “Mr. Carosi,” “Mr. Tuttle,” and “Coach Sonski.” A Mr. Carosi was really giving it to the A-Rod, right up the ass, while the Mr. Belding ripped ass in the A-Rod’s face! The Screech was eating out the Coach Sonski’s ass and giving him a generous reach-around while someone dressed as Albert Pujols sprayed green diarrhea into the Screech’s Jew-fro! While all this was happening, the Mr. Tuttle hid behind a trash can while masturbating vigorously!

I’m glad to see that there’s some hot man-on-man action in Reno somewhere other than just at the infamous one-star hotel scene!

Barf said...

Today Corky and Mr. Belding were laying around and A Rod was watching “Game of Thrones” in their Motel 6 room. Corky told A Rod the show was stupid as it didn’t have any ‘Tards or people farting on each other. He said instead of a dwarf there should have been a ‘tard who became king, and instead of big guys who beat everyone up it should have been beefcakes like Mr. Belding who would be in a band of Pepperoni farters who would help Corky take the throne and kill all the bad guys with nasty farts. Corky said there would also be jesters like SBF and Screech who would wear Zubaz pants and Jew fro’s and would man all the bathrooms and take care of everyone’s P and A needs. At this Mr. Belding lifted his leg and ripped a nice 8 second wet fart in support. Corky then said A Rod would have a part as a weird bad guy who would have a tiny weiner and would lurk around trying to get a peek at King Corky’s monster dong. Corky said his guards would catch A Rod and Corky would punish him by having a dragon burn off his tiny pee pee with its flames. Corky then said he would rule over the kingdoms and everyone would love him. Corky then told A Rod he needed to get on the horn and get the show a reboot with his amazing ideas. A Rod then said Corky’s idea was horrible and no one would believe a ‘tard would be a King. He also said no one would want to watch a bunch of fat guys farting on each other in place of knights. He also said no one would believe a well built athlete like himself would be leering at a ‘tard. A Rod told Corky the only decent idea was having people like Screech be jesters. A Rod said he would be the King and he’d keep Corky around as long as he let him fondle his massive dong. He said Mr. Belding and the other “farters” would not be welcome in his kingdom, and that he would have knights and other bad ass guys to protect him. At this Mr. Belding ripped a 12 second fart towards A Rod to show his displeasure. Corky grunted, then went doodie in his diaper before belting A Rod in the face. A Rod shrieked as Corky tore off his overflowing diaper and began ass raping A Rod while strangling him with his diaper. During this Mr. Belding opened the door to their room so the swivel chair ViP’s could watch the attack while jerking off! A Rod sure learned about Game of Thrones that time!

Smiddy said...

Barf, I’ve never watched “Game of Thrones,” but it seems clear to me that Corky’s idea was genius! A retard as a king is a fresh new idea which hasn’t been done before - Corky’s unpredictable behavior and quick temper would make for an interesting show. Also, despite being a famous athlete, A-Rod is notoriously insecure and it seems very believable that A-Rod would spy on Corky, trying to catch a glimpse of Corky’s enormous dong. Mr. Belding and a bunch of other fat guys would be a formidable army to rip pepperoni farts on anyone in Corky’s way!

Gary McAnus said...

Last night, Corky was watching Superman on tv when he came up with an idea for a new superhero. He ran to the living room to tell A-Rod to contact his movie producer people because he had an idea for a superhero movie based on A-Rod. A-Rod was so happy because he assumed that Corky was showing his love and respect for him in a caring way. A-Rod asked whether he was an ex-baseball superstar who uses his baseball skills to fight bad guy? Corky said that was a stupid idea and that A-Rod was an idiot for even mentioning it. Corky then continued that A-Rod would dress up in skin-tight spandex and would run really fast with limp wrists like a giant queer and that whenever anyone would fart, A-Rod would run really fast from miles away just to smell it! A-Rod was indignant and asked, “what the hell kind of superpower is that? The ability to run fast to sniff farts??” Corky slugged A-Rod in the chest and told him to shut his mouth because he wasn’t done talking. Corky then said that Superman’s weakness was kyptonite which causes him to lose his powers, but A-Rod’s superhero weakness would be doodoo. Corky further said that whenever A-Rod’s character sees doodoo, he instantly jizzes his pants and then stops to eat it, temporarily losing his powers and being a huge queer. A-Rod started crying because he was the victim of Corky’s mental abuse yet again and Corky got mad at A-Rod for being so annoying. Corky kicked A-Rod in the balls and then removed his Yankees uniform pants and ass-raped him while Mr. Belding drank a huge bottle of Hershey’s chocolate syrup and took a dump in A-Rod’s sock drawer!!

Smiddy said...

Gary, Corky truly is a creative genius! His superhero idea is great because there is a grain of truth to it - everyone can envision A-Rod sprinting to sniff the stinky anus of some random dude who has just farted. Corky should really have his own content app, like his own ‘tard version of Netflix or Hulu!

Bean Bag Bitch said...

Y'all don't know beans..

Billy Buttstain said...

And thank god for that, you shit-suckin', ass-lickin', kunt-faced bitch-hole

Gary McAnus said...

Last night Corky ran into the living room to tell A-Rod about another superhero movie idea he had and that A-Rod would have a starring role. A-Rod said that he wasn’t interested and wasn’t falling for this one again. A-Rod said, “let me guess? I’m some sort of victim of a gay superhero who rapes me while you laugh? I don’t even want to hear it.” Corky said that A-Rod was wrong and that he would play a superhero who is dating Wonder Woman and that he would have actual sex with Wonder Woman in the movie. A-Rod replied that he was pretty sure they wouldn’t be able to show that without the ratings people labeling it as pornography, but it did sound like a promising idea. He also said that he was proud that Corky finally appreciated him. A-Rod asked whether it was a passionate love affair between his character and Wonder Woman? Corky replied that he didn’t know what that word meant but said that in the movie, Wonder Woman would wear a strap-on and would do A-Rod in the ass! Corky also said that Mr. Belding would play the Invisible Man and that his character would rip loud farts in A-Rod’s face while Winder Woman was having sex with A-Rod. A-Rod replied that it was another stupid idea and that Mr. Belding would be a terrible Invisible Man. A-Rod pointed out that even if his skin was invisible, Mr. Belding is so fat and out of shape that he sweats profusely. A-Rod said that just standing up causes Mr. Belding to sweat like crazy and that even if he was invisible, you would still see a huge puddle of sweat dripping from his big belly and fat ass. Corky got mad at A-Rod’s rude comments and punched him in the stomach before viciously ass-raping him while Mr. Belding ate a huge blueberry pie and ripped ass!

Gary McAnus said...

On Monday afternoon, Mr. Belding’s ass got so itchy that he decided to change his underwear for the first time in weeks. Mr. Belding was in the guest bedroom at A-Rod’s mansion when he took off his dirty pair, wadded it up, and threw it into the hallway before putting on a new pair. A-Rod just happened to be walking down the hallway at the time and got hit in the head with Mr. Belding’s underwear. In fact, the underwear landed right on his face! The heinous stench caused A-Rod to immediately Yelp, “Zoinks!” Corky was watching cartoons in a room down the hall and stuck his head in the hallway when he heard A-Rod. When Corky saw Mr. Belding’s dookie-stained underwear on A-Rod’s face, Corky got really angry and accused A-Rod of cheating on him. Corky also claimed that A-Rod had obviously just been caught stealing the underwear of his best buddy, Mr. Belding! A-Rod claimed that the underwear had accidentally landed on his face and that it smelled horrendous and made him want to vomit. Corky then flew into a ‘tard rage, violently beating A-Rod before ass-raping him while Mr. Belding poured a huge bag of M&M’s into his mouth and farted to cheer Corky on!

Claudine Gay said...

I was once the President of Harvard University but lost my job because I plagiarized a paper I wrote about the show “Life Goes On” and how Corky was a super stud with a massive dong! I’m furious someone using the wayback machine found the anonymous post I copied from the “Dustin Diamond Love” board! It was a fantastic combination of Screech and Corky and how Corky became Screech’s boss and shit in his jewfro while overseeing his unpaid bathroom attendant intern position. Many Harvard scholars said it was the most important research ever done at Harvard. I’m so mad someone caught me I want to queef in their face!

Claudine Gay said...

Back in 2013 I was traveling from Grand Rapids Michigan to Albuquerque New Mexico. At the Grand Rapids airport I ate a number of Cinnabon treats and also drank a bunch of Coffee. After a bit my tummy started rumbling and I knew I was going to have diarrhea. I went to the bathroom and it stank like ass. I went into a stall and began spraying diarrhea when I heard the loudest fart from the stall next to mine. Then I heard diarrhea. Seconds later an even louder fart roared and this one knocked over the wall seperatijg my stall from theirs. The stall wall fall on my head and as I maneuvered out from under it I saw Mr. Belding wiping his ass with gobs of toilet paper that he threw on the floor, then he walked out over the broken stall wall without even bothering to check on me! He didn’t wash his hands and just left the bathroom. I had to crawl out from under the broken wall and found security who briefly looked for Mr. Belding but never found him. What the hell was up with that!?

Inside Man said...

Today Corky found out Claudine Gay plagiarized a recap of an amazingly erotic episode of SBTB the New Class that he was on. He began running around the house yelling the “N” word which made Mr. Belding laugh, while A Rod came running into the room and asked what the problem was. Corky told him what happened and A Rod said that wasn’t a reason to just scream the “N” word and that one of the housekeepers was black. Corky frowned at this and said she likely stole his bike when he was a kid and was now likely trying to steal all his good ideas, and was also likely in cahoots with A Rod who was part “N” word. Corky then said he knew A Rod was only part because he has a tiny weiner. At this A Rod sighed and told Corky to settle down as no one was going to steal his bike or business ideas. Corky countered with the fact that the “mayor” of Harvard stole one of his hot stories, and when he was little his bike was stolen, and that was all the proof he needed. He then kicked A Rod in the knee causing him to fall over, before pressing his bubble butt to A Rod’s head and ripped ass. Mr. Belding cheered this on by eating a container of cake sprinkles and ripping a 9 second fart!

Gary McAnus said...

On Tuesday night, A-Rod took Corky on a romantic dinner date to Denny’s. Corky ordered hamburger with fries and a Coke and A-Rod ordered a salad. At the end of the meal, they ordered a dessert which consisted of a cookie topped with ice cream which was served on a small, but hot, cast iron skillet. Corky had a fantastic time and enjoyed his meal. When the check came, A-Rod told Corky to show his driver’s license to the server so that Corky could get the senior citizen’s discount, which is available to anyone 55 or older. Corky got really angry at A-Rod and accused him of being a cheap bastard. A-Rod replied, “settle down gramps. I’m trying to save some money. If you ever paid for anything yourself, you would know that inflation is killing us.” Corky was outraged at A-Rod’s rude comments and decided to teach him a lesson. Corky grabbed the little cast iron skillet and smacked A-Rod in the head with it! Several waiters saw this and started laughing uncontrollably before unzipping their pants to pull out their dongs and began masturbating vigorously! Corky then launched A-Rod from their booth onto the floor and started raping him! Semen was flying everywhere in the restaurant, between Corky and all of the masturbating waiters and patrons! A-Rod learned not to be cheap that time!

Barf said...

Gary, that is incredibly erotic! I would expect with increased interest rates A Rod should see a decent return on his savings, negating any inflation. His increase on interest should far exceed his increased food costs along with anything else heavily hit by inflation that affects the average person. If a Denny’s meal costs 20 percent more than a few years ago how much is that? Maybe 10-20 bucks? A Rod was definitely being a cheapskate and trying to embarrass Corky. Maybe he gets off on knowing he’s with a mid 50’s ‘tard who dominates him. I’m glad even with out Mr. Belding to assist Corky took action and gave A Rod a good beating and rape. I’m sure the waiters and other patrons enjoyed the entertaining pummeling.

Barf said...

Today Corky was in A Rod’s room after a night of ass pounding and loud farts. As A Rod slept Corky realized he had to go dookie and wanted to be a good boy. He knew he wouldn’t make it to the bathroom so he opened a window and took a massive dump out it. His dookie landed in the bushes and Corky was pleased. He then wiped his ass with the bedsheets before heading off to see what his best friend Mr. Belding was doing. Unbeknownst to Corky a neighbor and two small children had been biking past the house when this happened. They all saw the window open, then a giant bubble butt poke out, before releasing a massive turd. The woman stopped her bike and two small children crashed their bikes into her. They began crying and yelled about seeing a man go dookie out the window. The woman called the police who came over, and said they had been to the home numerous times before. They then knocked on the door and eventually A Rod answered. They told him what had happened and asked who did it. As they did so they could hear loud belching as Mr. Belding and Corky had a nice belching contest going on in the living room. They then heard an earth shattering fart that lasted for 12 seconds. The police asked A Rod what the hell was going on and A Rod said he had no idea who crapped out a window but that the belching and farting were Mr. Belding and Corky. He then yelled for Mr. B and Corky to come to the front door. When they got there he asked them who had shit out a window. Seeing the police Corky said it was probably A Rod as he did that kind of thing all the time. A Rod, embarrassed, said he’d never shit out the window, but it sounded like something Corky would do. Corky chimed in that he’d seen A Rod sleep poop out the window just that very morning. He said A Rod walked like Frankenstein to the window then grunted and took a big dump out it. Mr. Belding chimed in and said he heard it happen from his bedroom and one time he saw A Rod sleep poop in his bathroom! At this the police officers told A Rod to get some help for his disorder and if it happened again they would have to arrest him. They then left and Corky and Mr. Belding began laughing as A Rod stewed over his latest embarrassment. Before he could say anything Corky accused him of trying to throw him under the bus. Mr. Belding acknowledged this by belching in A Rod’s face a as Corky punched A Rod right in the balls. Corky then ripped off A Rod’s pajamas before ass raping him while Mr. Belding pulled down his sweatpants and hands underpants before pressing his filthy ass to A Rod, head and ripping a 9 second wet fart! Corky then jizzed all over A Rod before heading to the kitchen with his best buddy to get some fruity pebbles while watching He-Man!

Larry Dong said...

Gary, A-Rod ruined a romantic dinner date with Corky at Denny's by being cheap and making Corky feel old - he deserved that beating! A-Rod probably also knew that Mr. Belding was changing his underwear on that other day and timed his walk down the hallway so that he would get hit in the face with Mr. Belding's soiled, stinky underwear.

Barf, that was 100% A-Rod's fault - he should have anticipated that Corky would take a dump out of the window and put in a screen to prevent it from happening. Corky is a lovable 'tard who gets a bit hyper, so we cannot blame him.

Claudine Gay, stop stealing great ideas from Corky and the Gay Screech Community!