Sam Bankman-Fried is the founder and former CEO of FTX, a cryptocurrency exchange. He reportedly had a net worth of $26 billion at one point during spring 2022. During the 2022 stock and cryptocurrency bear market, his new worth dropped to a reported $16 billion as of Monday, November 7, 2022. However, FTX imploded and declared bankruptcy a few days later amid allegations of fraud, dropping Sam Bankman-Fried's net worth by $16 billion in just a few days.
He is undoubtedly the "Screech Powers" of the investment world and even has a huge poofy Jew-fro just like Screech did on Saved By The Bell: The New Class!
Here is a gif image of Sam Bankman-Fried meeting Mr. Belding:
199 comments:
That’s so nice of Mr. B! Not many people would give that out of shape loser a job doing anything! A few years/decades of servicing Mr. B’s penis and ass needs will be good for Sam.
These meanies in the Bahamas are forcing me to stay here! I explained I needed to get to the US so I could train with Mr. Belding as an unpaid bathroom attendant intern. But they said no, that I needed to stay there as they probe for criminal charges. Zoinks! They posted some obese police officers in my house and they are chowing down on greasy pizza and Taco Bell. Then they fart in my face and demand I admit I stole all the money. Double Zoinks!!!!! I think I may be going to jail, but I hope not as I really want to service Mr. B’s penis and ass needs! Triple Zoinks!!!!
Hey, hey, hey, what is going on here? I demand that the authorities in the Bahamas release SBF immediately. I pre-ordered five deep dish “Meat Lovers” pizza from Pizza Hit for dinner tomorrow. I want SBF to be here so that I can fart on his tongue and he eats out my anus. He really needs this unpaid internship so that he can learn how to be a bathroom attendant now that FTX imploded! For our first lesson, he is going to drain my balls and then eat a hearty fart meal!
I really hope I can get out of here as training to be a bathroom attendant under Mr. Belding tutelage is an amazing offer. I’m excited to drain his balls, and be rewarded with farts for a meal! I told my parents about this new opportunity today and my Dad yelled at me and my mother began to cry. They asked how in one week I could go from billionaire owner of the second largest crypto exchange to being an unpaid bathroom attendant intern whose main tasks involved servicing the penis and ass needs of a 70 year old obese former principal. I told them it was the perfect opportunity considering the circumstances and that I couldn’t wait to eat some delicious farts. They then disowned me which I felt was mean. Now I just need to get the Bahamian police to let me outta here. I’ve already said I was sorry like 10 times for losing a few billion dollars or whatever, but they are still making a big deal about it. Sheesh.
SBF, I heard that you claim to be vegan. You have the “soy boy” look where you appear to have very low testosterone levels, which is partially a result of your diet. If you are sentenced to prison for fraud and embezzlement, do you think you will immediately become someone’s bitch in exchange for protection? Maybe Mr. Belding can you you some of lessons he taught Screech so that you will know how to service the penis and ass needs of your fellow prisoners?
SBF, I am currently recovering from an attack. But if you are still free when I recover, I would like to hire you to eat out my ass and whip my balls. I used to have another guy do this, but he's going to be in prison for awhile after we had a dispute...
Paul, if I am able to stay out of jail I plan on interning with Mr. Belding and Corky at A Rod’s house. I feel this will be my best option so I can have a career much like Screech did traveling the country and visiting rest areas and truck stops to service the penis and ass needs of horny travelers. I feel this training will likely take a minimum of a year. Screech needed over a decade of training himself. I’d advise you to look into being a potential volunteer at some point next year once my training is in full swing. I’m sure Corky and Mr. Belding could whip your balls with rusty car antennas until you pass out. They would likely then shoe me up the ass and go to town on my nuts as well. Zoinks! Let’s make this happen!
My son SBF needs no encouragement from you deranged perverts! Some people have been reading his posts from this board and now call him SBD in reference to a silent fart! People should be thanking him for being such a caring boy and not worry about the billions of dollars I’m sure with turn up. When he was a child he liked to follow our cat around and collect its turds. Some he would eat, but most would wound up hidden somewhere in his room. We always found them eventually when they began to stink. I’m sure this will be similar. Now stop encouraging him to become a Screech like man whore. His genius cannot be wasted servicing truck drivers in truck stop bathrooms.
I want to take a dump in SBF’s massive Jew fro. I bet he had a nose job to get rid of a hook nose. I demand he get plastic surgery to reverse that. I need him to have a massive hook nose he can use to really get into my anus and clean it out. For this I will provide numerous wet farts that will give him exquisite ecstasy!
Erm excuse me, but has anyone asked MY permission whether this little scrote is allowed in my house? He assumes he is but boy does he have another thing coming! I’m not some little weed who won’t fight back. I’m a ripped world class athlete
A-Rod, Mr. Belding should invite SBF to your house so that Corky can boss him around and train him to be a good unpaid bathroom attendant. Can you honestly say that you wouldn’t like to spray diarrhea right in front of SBF while he’s sitting on a high chair in your bathroom? Then you can wipe your ass clean with his Jew-fro and wash your hands before taking a breath mint and tipping SBF a quarter.
Last night at dinner, A-Rod was eating a protein shake and salad, whereas Corky and Mr. Belding were gorging on deep dish pepperoni pizza, as usual. While A-Rod was eating his salad, Mr. B got out of his chair to grab a 2-liter of Mountain Dew from the refrigerator. As Mr. B walked past A-Rod’s chair, he paused and then ripped a 10-second pepperoni fart in A-Rod’s face! Corky thought this was hilarious and then stood up and blew a fart of his own in A-Rod’s face! A-Rod uttered “Zoinks!” and then complained that the entire kitchen now reeked of the smell of anus! Mr.Belding said, “I have to respond to your comment,” and then positioned his ass in the direction of A-Rod’s face and ripped a heinous fart. Corky and Mr. Belding continued ripping farts in A-Rod’s face for the next 5 minutes while A-Rod finished eating his salad. Corky and Mr. Belding then went into the family room to play a game of Chutes and Ladders. A couple minutes later, A-Rod walked over to Corky and said he couldn’t find the remote control for the tv and asked if Corky had seen it. Corky told A-Rod that his breath smelled like doodoo and that A-Rod should learn how to brush his teeth and use mouthwash. A-Rod replied that if his breath smelled bad, it was because Corky and Mr. Belding had just been ripping smelly farts in his face for the past 10 minutes. Corky got mad and told A-Rod that he wasn’t responsible for A-Rod’s stinky breath and that A-Rod was a dirtbag. Corky then ass-raped A-Rod to teach him a lesson!!
Mom, you’re embarrassing me in front of my new friends! Today I lurked in a men’s room and set up a little hat for tips along with some mints. I introduced myself to everyone who came in the bathroom and told them I’d be assisting their journey. People gave me really weird looks. Finally one guy thanked me and I followed him to the urinal. During his piss he let loose a fart and I quickly huffed and gobbled it up. I then buried my face in his ass and he let loose another fart. I was really able to suck that one in and pressed my nose to his butthole, which seemed to give him pleasure. I like farts. On his way out he dropped a nickel and a business card in my hat! Not bad for my first day at my new job!
SBD, what bathroom are you working at? I’ll be in Nassau next week and might pay you a little visit to introduce you properly to the unpaid intern bathroom scene. I hope for your sake you’ve read Mr. Beldings “How to be an Unpaid Bathroom Attendant for Dummies” book. Have you even let homeless men piss in your Jew fro and measured the amount of urine it can soak up? I’ll be seeing you soon needle dick!
SBF, you should post your bathroom attendant schedule for us to coordinate. Your hero, Screech, would go on truck stop tours across the country. I would frequently run into him at a truck stop in Reno, Nevada. I remember his hook nose digging into my sweaty ass-crack while I was peeing at a urinal - when I "accidentally" expelled a nasty fart, he fell over and had some type of homosexual seizure while jizzing his Zubaz pants!
Screech enjoyed visiting that particular rest stop because the stalls were large and he actually had installed a hammock above one of the toilets. Screech would relax in that hammock while someone a few feet below was sitting down on the toilet, spraying diarrhea and farting - it was a paradise for Screech!
You have a huge Jew-fro like Screech, but you need to do something about your nose - it is not big and hooked enough for my liking. If you have any money left over, you should have surgery to create a bigger and more hooked nose.
Hey Pops I don’t like that name and won’t be meeting up with you for using it.
Honey Truck Driver, I’m currently stuck in the Bahamas. I’m hoping to come back to the US shortly to begin training with Mr. Belding. Once I have his seal of approval I will be heading out to take over the role Screech had. That hammock sounds absolutely amazing. Much better than the bean bags I’m used to. I can just picture myself sleeping in my hammock while mere feet below me an obese trucker who just downed 4 bowls of truck stop chili sprays diarrhea and rips ass! Once I get past this “$10 billion dollar missing” nonsense I’ll be heading to my new life of eating farts and sleeping in a hammack in a bathroom stall!
Zoinks! They already noticed that $1 billion “loan” FTX gave me that I approved with an emoji in a group chat! Doesn’t every multi billion dollar company approve expenditures with emojis?! I will state here equivocally that I needed that money to create the largest collection of gay porn known to man! I may have spent $5 million of customer deposits on issue #1 of “Fart Goblins” but I think any normal person would have done that! Double Zoinks!!!
SBF, I am a producer of hardcore pornography. Screech was scheduled to appear in “Cum Buckets #53.” The name of his role was to be “Jizz Bucket #2” in the third scene of this fine artistic porno. Since you bear a striking resemblance to Screech, would you like to take this role? As hard as it is to believe, Screech was actually in better shape than you, so you will need to lose 10 lbs for this role. The pay will be $25/day and all of the semen and anus you can eat! Please have your agent reach out to me soon so we can start filming.
Avi, that offer sounds amazing. As an effective altruist I will donate $.03 of that to Nancy Pelosi. That just made me think that it would be great if there was a part in your movie for Paul Pelosi! Are you willing to shoot in San Francisco? I’m betting Paul will participate for free and let you use his home as the set. I will gladly participate as “Jizz Bucket Number 2” for $25 per day. I already have a goal in mind of being “jizz bucket #1”! Let’s make this happen!
SBF, I also have an open role for “Stinky Buttholes #7”. The role is for “Ass Eater #3”. You will be mulching on smelly diarrhea buttholes in this flick. You will also get a bump up to $30/day and will get to partake in a huge deep pizza party the day before the shoot. The pizza is super greasy and will fuel some nasty wet farts during the filming!
Shaboom. I can’t believe this fruit SBF stole everyone’s money and he’s getting offers to star in movies. Back in my day the Colonel got me roles in major motion pictures in Hawaii. I sure never participated in any weirdo movies with “ass eater” or “ jizz bucket” as roles. That guy SBF is 100 percent nerd. I’m 87 years old now and I can still dance and get hot chicks. And the chicks don’t even know I’m Elvis. I’m in the witness protection program and am known as John Burrows. Thankfully I don’t know what crypto is. If that nerd lost my money I’d kick his ass. I sure as heck wouldn’t hire him for a movie.
SBF, what is wrong with you??? Why are you misappropriating the likeness of my son, Dustin “Screech” Diamond? Just because I disowned him 20 years ago for disgracing the Diamond name doesn’t mean I didn’t eventually forgive him. You need to stop passing yourself off as Screech. If I find out that you appear in any sequels to Screech’s popular “Rim Goblin” series of hardcore gay pornos, there will be hell to pay and you will definitely hear from my lawyer!
Hey SBF, you fucking hook nosed rim goblin! I put my entire fortune into FTX after seeing that Superbowl commercial with Matt Damon! My entire "Growing Pains" fortune completely gone! You can bet your ass Kirk Cameron and I will be taking it out on YOUR ass like we did Booger back in the day. Prepare for the retribution, motherfucker!!!
Jeremy Miller, I feel your pain brother! I too had a significant amount of money on FTS. My accountants are still working on it, but it seems I had nearly $15 which now seems lost! That was my entire paycheck for “Lost Boys 8- The Frog Brothers meet Queer Dracula”. Many don’t know this but I was good friends with Stinky Sullivan, and Boner back in the day. If you find whereabouts of SBF let me know. I’d like to put on my finest Michael Jackson outfit and moonwalk on that dudes crotch!
The other day Corky asked A-Rod if he was jealous of his best friend, Mr. Belding. A-Rod asked why he would be jealous if Mr. Belding. Corky replied that Mr. Belding is a more talented professional athlete at age 72 than A-Rod ever was in baseball. Corky then pointed out that Mr. Belding had been winning belching and farting contests since the 1980s, and has been crowned both the national “Farting Champion” and “Belching Champion” by a Chicago pizza restaurant. A-Rod replied that an athlete perfects his body to excel at a sport. He also said that Mr. Belding is no athlete and is instead just a big fat guy with a horrible diet who eats unhealthy food which produces noxious odors. He also said that Mr. Belding drinks gallons of soda daily, which is also very unhealthy. A-Rod pointed out that he has won three baseball MVP awards and was one of the best players in history. Corky replied that A-arod sucked and that Alfred Pujols has just beaten A-Rod’s records. A-Rod replied, “Who is Alfred Pujols? You must mean Albert Pujols. You don’t even know his name!” A-Rod then said that Corky was an idiot and had just wasted A-Rod’s time. A-Rod then ordered Corky to pull down his pants so A-Rod could play with Corky’s huge dong. Corky got mad and punched A-Rod in the balls! Mr. Belding then opened A-Rod’s coat closet and took a massive dump on the floor to show his support for Corky! Corky proceeded to ass-rape A-Rod. After blowing his ‘tard semen into A-Rod, Corky shoved the end of one of A-Rod’s MVP awards up A-Rod’s butthole as A-Rod uttered, “Zoinks!”
My twin brother and I spitroast SBF for the problems he’s caused the crypto market. He kept yelling Zoinks and seemed to really enjoy it. What a fag.
Jeremy Miller, it is nice to see you posting here. Are you still mourning over the death of Dustin Diamond? I remember reading that you were best friends with him when you were kids.
I also remember reading that you left acting to become a chef. How’s that going? Are you working at an Olive Garden somewhere?
Cameron Winklevoss, did you and your brother ever spit-roast Zuckerberg when you were students at Harvard? I heard that some of the dorms were quite rowdy and were hotbeds of homosexuality. Zuckerberg is Screech-like in many ways. I bet you and your brother pressed your sweaty bare asses against Zuckerberg’s face and then ripped wet farts!
Jeremy Miller, I just realized that you host a podcast with Dave Navarro entitled “The Navarro-Miller Report.” You should have an episode of your podcast where you tell some old stories about your buddy, Screech.
Speaking of podcasts, Corky and Mr. Belding should have their own podcast. Millions of fans would tune in to hear Corky and Mr. B belch, fart, and tell stories
Jeremy, any room on that podcast for the Feldmeister? Navarro-Miller-Feldman Report has a nice ring to it! I would love to go into detail about the time Charlie Sheen buttslammed Corey Haim and farted in his mouth!
Larry - It's nice to be seen! Glad the queer underground is still repping the D man. The dumpster scene will never be the same since the he died of full blown AIDS. There was a lovely remembrance ritual we had here where a guy dressed up as Screech and we all went to town on him!
Steve- That's actually the reason we were put on "hiatus". I did a full uncensored podcast about my times with Dustin and it actually ended up getting the podcast cancelled. We haven't done one since July thanks to Screech. Fucking squares! They'll never understand the dumpster scene.
Corey - Fucking good to hear from you, man! I wish I could man but the show ended up getting cancelled. How did all that pedo shit work out where you were livestreaming the names of the people who wronged you in Hollywood? I never followed up on that. Hope you're doing well and I loved your angels, but they should have been buff dudes!
A-Rod recently decided to repaint his living room because the walls are stained from Corky and Mr. Belding spraying diarrhea into it. A-Rod purchased a color deck of paint swatches from Sherwin Williams so that he can hold different swatches up against the wall to figure out which color paint to purchase. Corky thought that the color deck was cool and told A-Rod that he had a new idea which would make millions. Corky explained that A-Rod should make his own deck of swatches for players on the Yankees. However, instead of the swatches having different colors, there would be a swatch for each player and each swatch would smell like the player’s butthole. Corky explained that they would gather ass juice from each player’s butthole and the spread it onto each swatch. Corky said that these would be more popular than baseball cards. Corky said that people would be thousands of dollars for these decks. Mr. Belding said it was a brilliant idea and then stood up and farted in A-Rod’s face to show his support for Corky’s idea. A-Rod replied that it was a stupid idea and that Corky’s Down Syndrome appears to be seriously degrading Corky’s intelligence. A-Rod then grabbed Corky’s dong. Corky got mad and said A-Rod was a dirty faggot who never supported Corky’s ideas. Corky then butt-slammed A-Rod while Mr. Belding kept dropping ass, stinking up the room!
SBF, I need you to show up at The Max on Wednesday night for training for your new position as unpaid bathroom attendant. One of the most important aspects of your job is learning to enjoy it when random strangers fart in your face. You need to acclimate yourself to the smells of different farts. I will gorge on deep dish pepperoni pizza and then rip ass in your face. Corky will consume a huge bowl of candy and wash it down with Mountain Dew before farting in your face. I will also have an Indian guy who will eat curry before dropping ass in your face and a Chinese guy who will eat sweet and sour chicken before expelling a large fart. There will also be a black guy who will eat KFC and wash it down with grape Crush before leaving a fart for your to sniff. I hope you are ready for this as it is an important part of your training!
Mr. Belding. Zoinks! I’m ready for this! Will the black man be obese? Or will we work up to that over time? I’ve learned through my studies that obese people tend to have more rancid farts and filthy buttholes. I believe we can monetize that.
SBF, this is Ernie from the Angel Grove Youth Center juice bar. Leave this fat degenerate fuck Belding and come work for a fat degenerate fuck like me!!! I can have Bulk and Skull lock you in like a god damn pair of Chinese finger cuffs while I beat off drinking a semen smoothie! You're a hot commodity, so don't sell yourself short! Alpha 5 can also zap your balls! Hit me up!
Ernie, you’re like a second class “The Max” or Mr. Carosi. I’ll be sticking with Mr. Belding and SBTB. He’s spent his entire life training losers like Screech. Now he has a partner in Corky to assist him! Zoinks!
Listen hear you little fuck. You are going to be my bitch when I send Billy, Jason, and Zack to make sure you can't shit right for a week! They are going to mighty morphin' in your asshole. My juice bar is much more premium than "the Max", you piece of shit!! I demand you come and work for me at least part time. Call me!!
SBF, I am the manager of the Malibu Sands beach resort. I would also enjoy training you in the art of being an unpaid bathroom attendant. I taught Screech a little bit about this 30 years ago and would like to train you as well. Dick Belding is my friend and we used to double up on Screech on occasion. I would enjoy blasting ass in your face as a training exercise. Is it cool with you if I pleasure myself while I do this? You are likely to get better tips (possibly even two shiny quarters!) If you permit a random man to rip a massive wet fart in your face! Get me on the horn and I’ll work you into my schedule.
Mr. Carosi, it’s an honor sir. You may be aware I am originally from California. I’d love to come by the Malibu Sands beach club. You really ran a classy operation and I’m sure I could learn a lot from you. As an unpaid bathroom attendant working for tips would I qualify for a free daily meal, or would you provide me a nice meaty fart or two as my meal? I only ask as I get hungry a lot.
Ernie, my original answer was no, but now that Leon Carosi has jumped in my answer is a definite no. I have dreams of Mr. Belding and Leon Carosi pressing their bare asses to my head and ripping simultaneous wet farts. It may blow my entire head off my body. But I’m willing to take that risk.
Buuuuurrrrrrp! Happy Thanksgiving Boys! Here at the Iowa 80 Truck Stop the party is raging. I just saw Steve Bartman and Anthony Rizzo. Anthony was chowing down on an enormous Turkey leg, and Bartman was chowing down on Anthony’s asshole! Yeehaw!! This season there are quite a few truckers dressed as SBF. He’s become the new Screech! They are getting used as urinal cakes and toilet paper! I saw an SBF getting double teamed by the Winkevoss twins! It’s a real fiesta here boys!
Today I watched the SBTB College Years Thanksgiving episode. I enjoyed when Mr. Rogers, Mr. Belding, and Jonathan Brandis triple teamed Screech. I loved how Mr. Belding was able to buttslam Screech while eating a massive thanksgiving feast from an enormous tray. I liked when the song “Oh Yeah- Day Bow Bow” which was popular in a lot of 80’s movies began playing and Mike Rogers began wiggling his bare ass in Screech’s face, while peppering him with massive farts and a few diarrhea blasts. When the door opened and Mrs. Powers and Zack’s Dad road in on a tandem bike I teared up a bit as it felt like a family reunion. One where a couple of middle aged fat guys buttslammed and farted on Screech. But a family reunion at that. It’s sad shows like that are no longer made.
SBF, I want to observe your training as an unpaid bathroom attendant. I am adept at camouflage and can blend into my surroundings. For example, I’ve been know to hide under the sink, above ceiling tiles, behind a trash can, and sometimes even inside the trash can while observing things including hot man-on-man action. I used to do this whenever someone would trick Screech into meeting somewhere - the naive Screech would think he was meeting Slater in the alley behind the gym to trade baseball cards, only to be accosted by Slater, Zack, and Mr. Belding, each of whom teamed up to give Screech some hit unprotected anal sex. I would sometimes hide in a dumpster watching this unfold through a rust hole in the side of the dumpster. I had no intention of stopping this as Screech should have learned to fend for himself. Instead, I would observe while masturbating vigorously! I intend to do the same while you are being trained. You won’t even realize I’m there, but I will be intensely rubbing one out while Mr. Belding farts in your face and wipes his ass clean with your Jew-fro!
You may have heard that I died a number of years ago. However, those rumors are untrue - much like Screech, I lived a lifestyle which greatly exceeded my financial assets. In order to get out from behind a mountain of debt, I faked my own death as Screech is rumored to have also done.
SBF, I would very much like to extend the offer to formally adopt you as my son. I would take you into my penthouse apartment and raise you as a proper man. You could sleep with my two black boys. I would also have you pay off your debt to society by working at a local bike shop where I know the owner; he is a good man and very thorough. Feel free to contact me on this message board if you would like to move to the beat of your own drum! Regards, Phillip.
Mr. Tuttle, I cannot wait to see you fall out of your hiding spot and impale yourself on something while you finish vigorously jerking off! It’s been so exciting how after losing billions of dollars the SBTB deranged queer community has welcomed me with open arms!
Mr. Drummond, I am 30 years old and you must be over 100 years old! Your kids must be in their 50’s, why the hell do they still live with you? Working at a bike shop to pay off my debt sounds intriguing but unpaid bathroom attendant intern sounds much better. Thanks for the offer!
SBF, Phillip Drummond mentioned me and my bicycle shop in New York City. I’d love to have you do some training at my shop. There is a bathroom in the back of the shop which is in desperate need of an unpaid bathroom attendant. In addition to handing out paper towels, breath mints, and cologne spritzes, I would like it if you also passed out small glasses of wine and handfuls of pills to the bathroom patrons. I have met many new lovers through the use of wine and pills!
SBF, I'm glad Mr. Horton received my telephone message to contact you on this website. He was a big help to my son Arnold and he'd often spend many hours with a friend at the bike shop. As to my age, I'm actually a spry 99 year old! I would love to celebrate my centennial by having Mr. Horton and I getting horny in your asshole. If you could help me with my dirtied depends that would be great as well. Kindest regards, Mr. Drummond.
Mr. Drummond that’s a thoughtful offer but I think I’m going to stick with young, buff, studs like Corky and Mr. Belding. Even Mr. Carosi is quite spry compared to you and Mr. Horton. If I do wind up in NYC someday I will definitely look you up. Is that little turd Sam still around?
Hey there, sailor! SBF, I have been HIV+ since the 1980s and yet I’m still alive and kicking. I would love to spray my HIV-tainted semen all over your Jewish afro. I would also feed you farts from my anus. I hope you are a bug chaser! Are you interested? Let’s hook up!!
SBF, I can’t believe that you actually believe that Corky and Mr. Belding are “young, buff, studs.” Corky is 57 and Mr. Belding is 72. Corky is overweight and Mr. Belding is morbidly obese! Despite their ages and overweight bodies, they both bring the thunder when they have sex with their gay lovers! Corky really gives it to A-Rod, right in the ass, just like Mr. Belding used to do to Screech!!
Terry, I was comparing Mr. B and Corky to near 100 year old Mr. Drummond and Mr. Horton. Compared to those guys they are total beefcakes. I doubt Mr. Drummond could get an erection and his farts likely smell like prunes. Mr. B and Corky live like studs chowing down on all kinds of greasy pizza and fast food. Those are the kind of guys I want to hang out with and train as a bathroom attendant. JM, I have to say I’m not really familiar with you. I googled you and found some show you were on back in the 80’s. I see you’re nearing 70 yourself and congrats on living with AIDS for that long. It’s shocking that Screech was cut down in his early 40’s, while you have full blown AIDS and are still hitting the scene. I hope that’s me in 40 years!
SBF, me and my brother John just wanted to throw our proverbial "hats in the ring" to take you on as an apprentice. We're sorry how things turned out with you and that chipmunk looking bitch Caroline. Only a man would really know how to please you and that's where my brother and I cum in. We would love to play our folk tunes while reaming your ass while you play a cowbell. Did you ever want to be a musician? Well here is your chance you hook nosed jew! Hit us up on our website or this web portal. Looking forward to hearing from you!
SBF, I get pretty sweaty when I’m having sex with my lover, Dudley, or many other young men. I think it would be cool if you towel off my ass while I’m giving it to Dudley’s ass. I would also like to fart in your face while you are toweling the sweat off my ass. I enjoy humiliating people with my farts. When I first met Dudley, he just couldn’t hold his pills or wine. I would often rip nasty farts right in his face just to humiliate him. It was also fun to rip ass in his face while playing a round of Neptune: King of the Sea. One time I turned around to reach for the soap and when my ass was in his face, I cut a heinous fart! I pretended that it accidentally slipped out, but it was really intentional. I jerked off for years afterward just thinking about this - it was a pretty good prank.
Joe, I spoke to Corky last night and mentioned you were soliciting me. He told me during his acting days you kept him in a dog cage and fed him hotdogs. He told me how you and your brother would grope his massive dong, and stoke all his TV money. He then ripped ass into the phone and told me to pass that on to you. Keeping the Corkster in a cage is a step across the line and I will be declining your offer.
Mr. Horton I also enjoy wine and pills. I may incorporate them into my bathroom attendant duties. If you’d like to fart in my face I recommend waiting until I’m fully trained by Mr. Belding and Corky. Mr. B has me growing my Jew fro even larger than it currently is. The goal is for me to be manning a large truck stop bathroom by Christmas Eve. I really feel me pleasuring truckers during the holiday season will make total amends for me losing a few billion dollars. I hope you and Dudley can make it. We can pop pills, drink wine, and I’ll service your ancient P and A needs!
Mr. Horton, I just realized most of the larger Truck Stops also have private showers you can pay for. I’m broke, but if you’re willing to splurge, you, Dudley, and myself could enjoy a nice holiday themed version of “Neptune, King of the Sea”! I’m not quite certain where I’ll be but I will let everyone know. I was interested in the Iowa 80 Truck Stop as Pig Pen mentioned it, and I found it’s the largest truck stop in the world. But when I mentioned that to Mr. Belding he said that was like the Super Bowl, and I’m yet to play a single game. I don’t like sports so I really don’t know what he meant but I trust his wisdom. Mr. B said an out of the way truck stop that will be relatively slow on Christmas Eve would be best. He did mention a few of Screech’s old hotspots in Wisconsin that may fit the bill.
SBF, hey you little rascal. This is Ron Howard's brother and I have my good eye on you. I want you. I want you bad! Ever since I was a kid I could see talent and I definitely see it in you. I want to kick the shit out of you and drop ass on your bloody mess of a nose. Then I want to "hard pack" your asshole with Ron. You can live in my old ice cream freezer and I can teach you the art of acting. Don't "act" like you can pass this opportunity up. Hit me up you little bitch! - CLINT
SBF, that’s a good idea about the showers at truck stops. I used a shower at a truck stop back on the early 1980s when I was driving to Las Vegas for a vacation. The thing I remember the most about the showers was the sound of butt-slamming emanating from most of the private showers. I was alone at the time, but I have to say that I got rock hard and started rubbing one out while listening to that hit butt-slamming and moaning! I also recall hearing intermittent farts. It sounded like one guy was really butt-slamming his partner and then I heard him bellow like a hippopotamus! Shortly after that, I heard an insanely loud fart followed by some moaning.
You and I need to meet up at one of these showers with Dudley for some hot man-on-man action. It might be a little crowded in our private shower if there are three of us in there at once, but that is part of the fun in my book!
SBF, please confirm whether you have a tiny dong like Screech did. The Bayside gang enjoyed humiliating Screech by dropping their pants and comparing dong sizes with Screech before ass-raping him. Mr. Belding also enjoyed farting in Screech’s face and then telling him that he couldn’t produce a massive fart like that even if his life depended on it!
Wow, I can’t believe all the attention I’m getting. I thought I would be a pariah but in this strange queer community I’ve been welcomed! Clint Howard, I really enjoyed your horror movie “Ice Cream Man”. I’ve always wondered if you hooked up with co-star Jan Michael Vincent? If so can you share a few details? It would be nice to meet up some day, especially if you wore the wig from The Wraith. Regarding The Wraith did Charlie Sheen try and ass rape you while filming that?
Mr. Horton, I’m really glad you liked my shower idea. The more I think about it the more I’ve realized this is absolutely the right move for me to make. I imagine playing Neptune: King of the Sea in a truck stop shower with you and Dudley while we also drink whine and pop pills! What fun! I’m sure the showers will be able to fit the 3 of us as long as Dudley hasn’t bulked up.
Steve Anus, I’m a huge fan. Can you look at me and imagine I have anything other than a microscopic penis? Even at MIT where it was mostly Asians I still had the smallest weiner! Now I do believe when it comes to farting prowess I can shine. I pretend to be vegan, but as you can tell by my physique I tend to cheat frequently. All that garbage mixes up and produces some ripe farts. I don’t really have the length, but I do have the stench.
Hope this helps! I have to get to a zoom meeting with Corky and Mr. Belding. They are going to be showing me some techniques of theirs using A Rod’s head.
SBF, I wasn’t familiar with you until your company and net worth quickly imploded. All of the chatter about you training to be an unpaid bathroom attendant has got me interested. I’m not gay or anything like that, but I have to say that I would enjoy sitting down on a toilet in a handicapped stall to take a massive dump while you are sitting on a folding chair two feet away while offering me breath mints and pieces of toilet paper. I occasionally take super smelly dumps and would like you to be there to witness the stench. Ripping a rank 10-second fart and then watching you crinkle your nose when the odor hits your nose like a ton of bricks is highly arousing to a straight man such as myself. I would also like you to wipe my ass clean after I spray diarrhea- feel free to use both pieces of toilet paper as well as your coarse Jew-fro. I will tip up to 75 cents for this level of personal attention!
Elliot, it’s millions of people like yourself that will pay off the billions I lost. I’ll work hard for that $.75 a person and will make sure you’ll come back for more! Unlike Screech who was only there to huff farts and jizz his pants my focus will be on providing a superior experience that people will tip extra for. Screech tended to get nickels and small turds in his tip hat. I plan on getting quarters and cold hard cash! Huffing farts and jizzing my pants is an added benefit! Hope to see you soon Elliot!
There is a new movie coming about next month entitled, “The Whale.” It stars Brendan Fraser as a 600-lb man who reconnects with his estranged daughter, or something along those lines. I read that Brendan Fraser wore a fat suit to achieve the 600-lb look. I’ve saw Fraser in a movie a few years ago and was shocked at how fat he had become, but even if he weighs 275-lbs or so, it seems misleading to have him play a 600-lb man. Why wasn’t Mr. Belding used for this role? Mr. Belding must weigh close to 600-lbs by now since he eats a diet consisting of shoveling handfuls of junk food into his mouth at all hours of the day and washing them down with soda. I read somewhere that Mr. Belding actually rinses his teeth at night before bed with Mountain Dew instead of a mouthwash such as Scope.
When Corky found out that Mr. Belding wasn’t cast in this role, he blamed A-Rod for failing to use his Hollywood connections to land the role for his buddy. Corky ass-raped A-Rod to teach him a lesson!!
I'm going to track you down for what you did to me, you little fucker! Pay me back this instant or I will have the entire Tampa Bay Buccaneers go to town on your ass sans lube. I'll shove a deflated football up your ass, bitch! I trusted you!
SBF, after you have received your initial training, you will need to pass the “Walk the Gauntlet” test in order to become an Unpaid Bathroom Attendant. Are you aware of this rite of passage? It involves pairs of gay men lining up several feet apart in a row. Usually there are 20-30 men who are lined up facing each other in two columns, such that the men in one column are facing the men in the other column. There is a three foot space between the columns where an Unpaid Bathroom Attendant Intern is to walk. As the Intern walks for the entire length between the two columns, the men standing in the opposing columns are ripping ass and jerking off onto the Intern! The Intern is required to walk at a slow pace as naked men on each side of him are positioned with their bare asses facing the Intern and they rip wet farts on the Intern as he walks between them. There are also some gay men jerking off and jizzing onto the Intern as he walks past them! There are also sometimes straight men at the ends of the columns who attempt to sneeze and blow their noses onto the Intern! This entire ritual is referred to as the “Gauntlet” or “Walking the Gauntlet.” You need to mentally prepare yourself for this as it is imperative that you pass with flying colors in order to promoted to an Unpaid Bathroom Attendant!
Steve, sorry for the delayed response. I had a very important interview with Andrew Ross Sorkin for some NYT thing. I was annoyed he didn’t want to talk about my new career as a cock goblin and unpaid bathroom attendant. He kept insisting I talk about FTX which imo is old news! Steve I can’t wait to “Walk the Gauntlet” and hope the majority of the dudes are obese. Do you know if pepperoni fart world champions regularly attend these intense ceremonies? At the end do I get any kind of prize or trophy for passing the test and becoming an unpaid bathroom attendant intern? Today I Skyped with Mr. Belding and in the background I saw Corky chasing A Rod around while holding a soccer ball and threatening to shove it up his ass!
"Nice place good truck parking very nice people and good shower's"
This is a quote from the truck stop I will be appearing at on Christmas Eve. It’s the Pioneer Truck Plaza in Richfield, WI. Mr. B said this was close to Screech’s Port Washington home and he regularly spent Christmas Eve serving truckers at this truck stop. I encourage everyone to come support me. I will be very nervous but will rely on the training Mr. B and Corky have provided. I’ve already called and reserved a stall so I can hang a hammock and really feel at home.
SBF, if you successfully pass the “Walk the Gauntlet” test, you will receive a bag of breath mints as well as a certificate indicating that you are an accredited Unpaid Bathroom Attendant. If you ever want to work at a highway rest stop, you will need this accreditation.
Yo Sam, I wanted to hit you up since you're in the game now. I wanted to stop by Pioneer Truck Plaza over Christmas and gas you. Is that cool? I don't know if you heard recently but I'm going deathcon 3 on dat ass. Hit me up son and we'll make your reparations here quick like. Ya heard?
Ye, sorry. I won’t be servicing any negroes. After consulting with Corky I’ve decided to be a racist unpaid bathroom attendant.
Whew! My first full day of “ in the workplace” training. Mr. B and Corky FaceTimed me and I went to this little burrito joint down here in the Bahamas. I went in and headed straight for the bathroom. I put out my little tip hat, cologne, breath mints, and was ready to work. The first guy who came in the door was this giant Bahamian fat guy. When I greeted him he told me to get out of his way S he had a massive dump coming. I then bowed and opened the door to the only stall, then bowed again as he entered. (Corky told me bowing shows customers how pathetic I am and that I worship their feces.). Anyhow, this guy slammed the door shut and within seconds I heard a torrent of diarrhea and farts. I couldn’t help myself and pressed my eye to the crack between the door and wall and told him he was really teaching me some stuff with his amazing skills. At this he called me a giant faggot and threatened to beat me up. I yelled Zoinks, then forced the door open. The guy was still focused on taking a massive dump but saw me coming in and yelled “what the hell”. I tried to pry him off the toilet to lick his rancid asshole but he began beating me unmercifully. I could hear Corky and Mr. B laughing and calling me a loser from my phone. I tried to get out I was there to provide his ass with personal service but I think that made him angrier. He stood up and wiped his ass with my Jew fro, then stomped on my head a few times before leaving the bathroom. I have no idea how Screech would get in and next thing be tounging and anus and giving a reach around. All I did was get beat up and my hair used as toilet paper. I found Corky and Mr. B still laughing and they told me I still had a long way to go before I could even be considered a bathroom attendant intern. What a let down. I was going to wait for another customer so I could try again, but management came in and tossed me out. I’m sure that guy ratted on me. Now I’m banned from that place. But I’ll be trying again tomorrow. SBF will succeed! Thankfully I have Corky and Mr. Belding supporting and teaching me.
SBF, you made a rookie mistake. It is actually considered rude to force a stall door open like that and I can’t say that I blame the man for throwing you a beating. What you should have done is either knock politely on the stall door to ask if the man needed your assistance in any way. You might consider also telling him he’s doing a fantastic job of taking a dump. Was the stall door the type which has 18 inches of clearance or so between the bottom of the stall door and the floor below? If so, you could also crouch down on the floor in from of the stall and the crane your head under the door before asking the man if he needs your assistance.
Terry, thanks for the advice. I think I was a bit too excited to bury my head in that guys filthy buttcheeks and rushed things. Ive read so many stories about Screech and he regularly burst into stalls and the next thing I’d read was how he was tounging a dudes anus. I should have given him more compliments and asked if he needed assistance. Screech always did that. Dang! Corky told me it was because my Jew fro isn’t “poofy enough” and Mr. B just learned to one side and ripped a loud fart. I’ll be back at it tomorrow. I’ve decided to try out a fancy restaurant bathroom as I think the clientele is less likely to beat me up. Hopefully no one lost money in FTX. Thankfully I still have 3 weeks until my big debut in Wisconsin.
SBF, I am a long haul trucker. Back in 2014, I was hauling a logs in my Kenworth when I stopped at a truck stop near Reno, NV to take a massive dump. I had eaten Taco Bell for lunch and and AC in my truck wasn’t working on a hot summer day. I was constantly ripping farts and while my ass was seating profusely as I drove my route. All of a sudden I could feel a massive dookie pushing on my o-ring and knew I had to stop somewhere to take a huge dump. Fortunately, I saw a sign for the Reno truck stop. When I stopped my truck, I got out and then ripped a loud fart as I was climbing down to the ground. When I got to the men’s room, I discovered that Screech was working as an Unpaid Bathroom Attendant that day! He asked if I needed a cologne spritz. I pushed him aside and hurried to a stall and then closed the door, sat down on the toilet set, and loudly sprayed diarrhea all over the toilet bowl! Screech uttered, “Zoinks!” and then complimented me and said that he enjoyed to sound and stench! I told him to shut up and leave me alone. The stall door suddenly opened as I was sitting on the toilet and Screech asked if I wanted a breath mint. I told him to stop being such a faggot and then stood up and punched him in the stomach. I stood up and then wiped my ass clean with his Jew-fro. Even though I’m not gay, I got aroused by the feeling of Screech’s Jew-fro on my anus and then ass-raped him to teach him a lesson about interrupting someone one the toolet!
SBF, my son, Zack, went to Bayside High School with Screech. Zack and I used to double-team Screech a few times a week as a father-son bonding exercise. Screech was a great little rim goblin. I have to admit that you do look a little like Screech. You may lack a massive hook nose like Screech, but you look weak and out-of-shape like Screech. You also have a big poofy Jew-fro like him. I would like to try out your Unpaid Bathroom Attendant services. It would be really hot if you laid down on the floor with your head underneath a urinal. Then I would take off my pants and take a massive piss into the urinal and would “accidentally” miss the urinal with my stream of urine and would instead get it in your eyes and Jew-fro. I also want to try taking a dump on you at the same time that I am peeing on your Jew-fro. I will also be talking on a massive cordless phone from 1989 and will sell a group of computers to the local library during our encounter. Afterwards, I would rip ass in your face. I will tip you a shiny Bicentennial quarter for this service and would still expect to receive a couple breath mints from your stash.
Hello SBF, this is E. Wally Kinney of the Texas State Security board. You have been a tough person to track, but I was delighted to find that you're also a degenerate pervert like me. I often masturbate to this very blogger site so you can imagine my surprise to find you on here wanting to become an unpaid bathroom attendant for the big bopper! If you're not too busy having men rip ass on you, please make sure to attend the hearing on Feb. 2, 2023. If you ultimately end up in prison then I will speak on your behalf to perform community services on your fellow inmates while I watch. Thanks and hope to see you!
Guys, it’s been tough goings so far. I hit up a nice restaurant on Friday and lurked in the bathroom for quite awhile. It seemed everyone was using the urinals and I did well with that, telling many people they were taking amazing pisses, and leering at their cocks. I also gave away a good number of breath mints and a few spritzes of cologne. Finally someone came in and headed to one of the stalls. I quickly opened the door and did my bowing routine. The guy pretended not to see me at all. I listened as he sat down, and I think he saw my shoes as a stood there listening for the sounds of a good dump, and he told me to get the hell away from the door. I explained I was just there as an unpaid bathroom attendant intern and he asked me what the fuck that was. Mr. b and Corky who were once again on FaceTime to coach me burst out laughing at this and I could also hear them having a belching contest. I explained that I was there to ensure a pleasant experience and that I was still in training. At this the guy let loose a nice dump and I heard a few turds plop into the water. I yelled out “well done sir” and he again told me to go away. I ignored this and asked if he needed assistance wiping and he really got irate. I stuck my eye to the crack of the door and he saw this and told me if I didn’t leave immediately he was going to kick my ass. I then pushed my tongue in the crack so he could see my skills and know I had things under control. He stood up and wiped as I did this. Then flushed the toilet before kicking the door open. The door slammed into my face knocking me over backwards. He then came out and asked what was wrong with me before stomping on my balls. I was in a lot of pain but I was able to get out he was free to take a few breath mints but he merely went over and took the mints and threw them all into a urinal. He then washed his hands and left, leaving me laying on the floor with my nose bleeding and my balls aching. Corky and Mr. B were still laughing and told me I was even worse than Screech. Corky then demoted me from unpaid bathroom attendant intern. He said an actual bathroom was above my current skill level. Now I’ve been demoted to unpaid litter box intern. I am manning my cats litter box and when he comes to use the litter box I have to bow to the cat and watch him pee or pop while telling him he’s doing an amazing job. I then have to gobble up his turds when he’s done (Corky told me this would teach me many needed things). So far so good, but one time I think I was to close and my cat got mad, and hissed then scratched my face. But I taught him something when I gobbled up his little turd then sprayed him with a little cologne! Corky and Mr. B said maybe tomorrow I can try a McDonalds as the people that eat there are less likely to care if I’m in training.
SBF, when the going gets tough the tough get going! Don't give up on your dream like I did. Ever since my lover Gilbert Gottfried died I've been in a total funk. I was king of the world when I was out and about as a roadie. I satisfied easily over 3,000 men over the years. Trust me, I had plenty of broken noses, ball aches and many, many prolapsed rectums! I had two men take me under their wing, just like you're doing. John Ritter and Jack Warden took the hands on approach on my 18th birthday and for over a decade afterward. I owe them everything.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, channel the same energy Dustin had. When he had his face smashed in, teeth shattered, and back broken he never gave up. He was always 100% about pleasing his "fans". You have a lot of money to earn to make up for FTX... and I know you can do it!
-with love, a problem child
SBF, it would be an honor to meet you. Will you please permit me to fart in your face and hold my cock while I pee at a urinal? I am currently in an abusive relationship and my lover expects me to service his penis and ass needs constantly but refuses to reciprocate. He also beats me up if he hears me complain about this treatment. He uses my closet and sock drawer in my dresser as toilets whenever he wants to go to the bathroom. I would love to receive some TLC from you and am a generous tipper - I will gladly give you a 5-spot for good service!
A Rod, I’ve informed Corky of your soliciting my services. He should be throwing you a nice beating
Michael Oliver, thanks for the kind words. I’m a big fan of the PC movies. When I looked at Screech we have to recognize that he spent a year at Cal U, but then spent the next 6 years in training for this position! Prior to the show ending and Screech heading out on his own almost all of Screech’s practice and training came from people who were attacking him. I’m now trying to cram all that training into a few weeks so I can hit up a truck stop on Christmas Eve. It’s kind of shocking Screech needed 6 years of training just to be able to properly man a bathroom and provide P and A services. Tomorrow I’ll be at a local McDonalds. Corky said I’ve passed kitty litter box training. That place is full of fat American tourists who I know will welcome my bathroom attendant duties.
SBF, how much urine can your Jew-fro absorb? Screech was notorious for having a Jew-fro capable of absorbing quite a bit of liquid. When he grew his Jew-fro long back in the late 90s, it was reported that his Jew-fro was capable of absorbing half a gallon of urine, which is an amazing feat! Another surprising tidbit about Screech’s Jew-fro was that when it wasn’t wet, his hair was somewhat coarse like strands of hard plastic and could be used to scrape filth of pots and pans. You should try to determine the limits of your own massive Jew-fro.
Once upon a time, Sam Bankman-Fried was walking down the street minding his own business when he suddenly found himself confronted by a black man. The man was tall and muscular, with a stern look on his face.
"Yo, what's up, man?" the black man said, speaking in Ebonics. "You got a problem wit me?"
Sam was taken aback by the man's aggressive tone, but he tried to remain calm. "No, no problem," he said, his voice shaking slightly. "I just want to go about my business."
But the black man was not satisfied with Sam's response. "Don't give me that crap, man," he said, his voice growing louder. "You been looking at me all wrong, like you got something to say."
Sam knew he had to act fast if he wanted to avoid a confrontation. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, hoping to placate the man with a little cash. But the black man was having none of it.
"You think you can just throw money at me and make everything okay?" he said, his eyes blazing with anger. "You think I'm some kind of a beggar or something?"
Before Sam could even react, the black man had lunged forward and grabbed him by the collar. He began to pummel Sam with his fists, raining blow after blow down upon him. Sam tried to fight back, but he was no match for the man's strength and skill.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the black man stopped his assault. Sam lay on the ground, bruised and battered, barely able to catch his breath.
"Next time, show some respect," the black man growled, before turning and walking away.
Sam lay on the ground, shaken and humiliated, wondering what he had done to deserve such a beating. He vowed to never again underestimate the power of the black man or the potency of the Ebonics language.
SBF, if you are sentenced to prison and run into Michae Avenatti, do you think you two will become friends? You are both highly educated and intelligent, although you are also both white collar crooks. If you two share a prison cell, maybe you could be your cell’s unpaid bathroom attendant half the time and you could train him to be the unpaid bathroom attendant the rest of the time. Also, you will get bored and going to the bathroom in front of each other daily will undoubtedly cause you two to fall in love. You two could tongue each other’s anuses…
SBF, I have a very stinky butt hole. The other day, I was eating pizza while sitting on my couch. After I stood up to go into the other room, I discovered that my couch smelled like ass. Is there anything you can do to help remove the stench from the anus? I was thinking that maybe you could give my ass crack a tongue bath and also butt and polish my anus with your greasy Jew-fro. Do these services fall within the umbrella of your Unpaid Bathroom Attendant duties? I hope to hear from you soon, buddy.
Guys, thanks for all the offers, but I can’t accept any right now. I’m laser focused on my training and Christmas Eve deadline. Today I ate a man’s fart while he pissed in a urinal. I’ve been training at a McDonalds and I must say it’s going well. I haven’t tounged anyone’s anus yet but I haven’t gotten beaten up in two days, nor has the McDonald staff kicked me out. I think they like I’m keeping the bathroom tidy while leering at dudes taking pisses. I’ve also gotten good at cheering on people taking dumps. Tomorrow I’m going to take the next step and offer to use my tongue as toilet paper for a few lucky dudes! SBF will be back on too soon guys! I heard JM J Bullock is in town. If he comes into my McDonalds bathroom I’ll be tonguing his butthole quicker then I made $10 billion disappear!
SBF, I’m in the Bahamas right now. Tomorrow I will find the McDonalds you’re working at so I can use you as my personal bidet. I haven’t bathed in a few days and have been gorging at my resorts all inclusive restaurants and buffets. I am going to take a dump so big it will clog the toilet, causing it to overflow. I will then need you to clean my butthole with your tongue. Let’s then see how well your jewfro works as a mop to clean up the overflowed toilet water. Your tip will be any turds you find!
Hey SBF, I must say I'm going to pass judgement on you and you're doing great! You may have heard that I recently passed away but that's overblown (just like I like my men!) I'd really like to come by that McDonalds and recreate the Tyson vs. Holyfield II fight with a couple of gay homeless crack addicted black men. I read that you don't service the blacks, but would you at least watch them fight it out while beating off? Anyway, I'd like them to bite your ear off at the moment of my climax. Would that work for you? Let me know and I'll get the Olde English 800 for those gents!
(PS I'd love to rub my bald head all over your hairless effeminate body. Let me know!)
Mills and Fat Guy, I’d love it if you guys came by and helped me out. Mills, I don’t want to have my ear bitten off so I’ll decline the boxing part. But you could come by to take a dump? Fat Guy I’ll be at the McDonalds on Marlborough Street. I like to sleep in so I normally get there around noon. Come by and give me a signal when you come in by ripping ass, then belching in my face. Then I’ll know it’s you and it’s time to party! I’ll make sure I have a super nice stall available for you and you can partake in as much cologne and breath mints as you need.
SBF, how is your training going? Are you ready to move up from the McDonald’s bathroom to a Taco Bell one? If you think that McDonald’s bathrooms are wild, I have to tell you that the men’s room at a typical Taco Bell is off the hook! I used to occasionally eat at a Taco Bell across from Wrigley Field in Chicago and would sometimes see Cubs players eating there in full uniform. The bathroom at that restaurant was incredibly rowdy! I recall walking into it to take a piss and seeing that there was diarrhea in the sink and some random guy was shitting in one one urinal in that bathroom. I would have used the stall to pee, but I heard some grunts followed by the unmistakable sound of loud butt-slamming coming from the stall! It was nuts in there, but I felt like I was about to pee my pants, so I ended up pissing into the trash can next to the sink. After I finished and zipped up, I saw then-Cubs Anthony Rizzo walk out of the stall followed by Cubs superfan Steve Bartman, who was limping. All of a sudden, Anthony grabbed Bartman’s head and pushed it up against his face and released a loud and smelly fart! So this is what you have to look forward to when you work as an Unpaid Bathroom Attendant at a typical Taco Bell!
Hey SBF, this is Ben Weber. You might remember me from that sex and the city show. Anyway, I'd like to pump an HIV positive load into you and compare jew fros. Would you be good for that? Anyway, hope shit is going well for you.
Guys, today I finally made it. Board member Fat Guy showed up shortly after I arrived. He came in and introduced himself, then went back out to eat. He said he was having 3 Big Mac’s, 6 Filet o Fish, some chicken nuggets, a bunch of cheeseburgers, and a few orders of fries along with a large coke with many refills. 15 minutes later he was back and loudly belched as he entered my bathroom. I had a stall ready for him and bowed as he entered, as a thank you he loudly belched in my face. I was thrilled! Within seconds he was spraying diarrhea and ripping loud farts. It sounded like a machine gun! I complemented him on his amazing skills, and advised him I was standing by to assist him with any needed cleanup. He loudly belched and continued on spraying diarrhea and ripping farts. I kept peeking through the crack in the door to ensure I knew his status. The moment he was done I was ready and burst through the door. Fat guy reciprocated by standing up, turning around, and letting loose a wet fart that coated me with some diarrhea juice. I have to say I was turned on, but was able to remain professional! I got to work going to town on Fat Guy’s filthy butthole and had him cleaned up in a jif. I then gave him a reach around and really worked his dong while I continued my human bidet action on his anus. After jizzing he thanked me by grunting, then releasing an extremely powerful fart that blew me backwards and sent me into convulsions! Next thing I knew I was flopping around and had jizzed my pants. Fat guy then stepped on me as he left, and dropped $5 in my tip hat! He did also take all of my breath mints, but that’s ok. It was a monster success. I did notice one customer came in to take a piss while I was taking care of fat guy and he seemed to get super excited and came over and jerked off into my Jew fro! He left me a buck in my tip hat. Someone else left me a little turd which I didn’t appreciate. I don’t quite know when I’ll be ready for Taco Bell. That place seems extremely rowdy. I’ll be back at McDonalds tomorrow!
SBF, that was a great field report! $6 in tips from a McDonald’s bathroom is quite a haul and is more than Screech usually took home in a night and yet you received that from just patrons. Most people enjoy eating at McDonald’s because the food is relatively inexpensive, so I’m surprised that you received $5 from the fat guy - he could have tipped you 50 cents and would have still had enough to buy a milkshake for himself.
SBF, thanks for being so open about your new career as an Unpaid Bathroom Attendant. I have a very important question for you that I have hoping you can answer. My question involves your nose. We all know that you have a hook nose, although it isn’t nearly as big and hooked as Screech’s conk. I personally would enjoy ripping a heinous fart in your face and watching your hook nose crinkle when the stench hits it! But I was wonder long whether you think that over time as more and more random strangers rip ass in your face and your nose crinkles from the nasty smell, do you think that your nose will naturally develop a more prominent hook shape as a result of all of the nose crinkling? This question is very important to all of the people who post here, so please do prioritize this question and provide a thoughtful answer ASAP.
Tom, I don’t think that’s going to happen. So far I’ve found rancid farts to be a huge turn on. I don’t crinkle my nose. I did at my ex girlfriend Caroline’s rank cooch, but men’s farts and buttholes are a huge turn on in comparison.
This weekend I graduated to Taco Bell and I have to say I wasn’t prepared. After a few days at McDonalds I had gotten used to a leisurely pace of customers, most who came in to use the urinals. At Taco Bell I found that nearly everyone had to take a nasty dump. It seems the food really does give one horrible diarrhea almost instantly after eating it. In my first five minutes nearly a dozen dudes came in, and all of them had to use a stall. The stalls were quickly overrun, and people began shitting in the urinals, sinks, and even in my tip hat! The farts were so rampant and noisy I felt like I was on the front lines of a WWI battle! I almost ran away, but thankfully I had Mr. B and Corky to help me on FaceTime. Corky told me to take care of one Butthole at a time which got me centered. I quickly got to work, and found that unlike McDonalds I didn’t need to ask if someone needed assistance. I just had to wait for the sound of rapid fire farts and diarrhea, then a few seconds later enter the stall. They would always stand up and prepare to allow me to tongue their anus while fondling their balls. As it was rush hour I couldn’t spend a lot of time on any one individual but I still made sure to provide excellent service. Each fart in my face caused me to yell “Zoinks” and a few were so nasty I wound up jizzing myself! Within minutes I had things under control and I cleaned out my tip hat, arranged my breath mints and colognes, and got back to work. A giant fat guy came in and was so happy with my service he gave me a nice buttslamming AND left a $2 tip! By the end of my shift the bathroom was spic and span and my tip hat contained $8, a used condom, and a medium sized turd. Corky and Mr. B complimented me and said I’m well on my way to being able to handle a small truck stop. I’ll be back at the Taco Bell all week as Mr. B said there are many curveballs that can come my way. The Taco Bell manager said he’d never seen such a deranged unpaid bathroom attendant intern, then ripped a wet fart on me. I think he likes me!
SBF, you have quickly become a key spokesman for the Unpaid Bathroom Attendant community! That was another fantastic field report and am heartened to see that you have really immersed yourself in your new passion. When did you discover that you enjoy the sounds and stenches associated with random strangers peeing and taking loud dumps in public bathrooms?
Also, it is quite evident that farts are a huge turn-on to you. But I have to believe that some farts are so stinky that they would make you feel nauseous instead of turning you on. Have you smelled any farts which made you want to puke yet?
Tom, thank you for the kind words. I have had an idea I believe could help raise the $10 billion I need to repay FTX investors. I am willing to use the $28 I earned last week as an unpaid bathroom attendant intern to start a new crypto company. Just like with FTX I will create a coin out of thin air. This time however it will be related to my new career as a bathroom attendant. I believe people would love a coin that showed a giant fat guy farting in my face as I tongue his anus! I will ensure there are a limited number of these crypto coins, which will cause the deranged queers of the world to all want one! I’m still working on a good name for this new coin, but fart coin, shit coin, diarrhea coin and others have popped into my head. I encourage people to vote or throw out their own idea! I will be back on too soon, but will never leave my new job working the bathrooms across the US!
SBF, I saw a news article saying "Sam Bankman-Fried to skip testifying in person before Congress because he's 'quite overbooked.'" Did you tell Congress you were overbooked servicing random men in public bathrooms? Did you ever think when you were a billionaire a short time ago that you would be in this new lifestyle and lose everything. Did you really mean to defraud those people?
Congrats on servicing Taco Bell, as that's a huge accomplishment to keep up with pace there!
Today SBF was arrested at the Taco Bell you weirdos cheered him for working at. I’ve been told the Bahamas was fine with the massive collapse of FTX, but were unwilling to tolerate him hanging out in restaurant bathrooms leering at people and trying to “service” them. While being arrested he kept yelling “Zoinks”, while two people that were on FaceTime with him laughed hysterically while having a belching contest. Thanks for ruining my sons life!
Tom Jizz and Jeremy Miller, I’m going to find both of you and queef in your faces for encouraging my special little boy to become an unpaid bathroom attendant intern. He has a degree from MIT and was a billionaire a few weeks ago! Now he’s been arrested and will be known as the billionaire who sunk so low he was servicing mens penis and ass needs in a Taco Bell bathroom!
ZOINKS!!!!!!
I guess that Christmas Eve Wisconsin truck stop meet up isn’t happening. I’m bummed. I’ve been eating nothing but greasy fast food, and Pizza Hut pizza for a week now. I’ve been taking immodium to back me up. My plan was to do this until Christmas Eve, then take a bottle of laxatives. I would have greeted SBF to the truck stop world with about 15-20 pounds of hardened shit. SBF, you’re a young man of 30. The truck stop scene should still be going strong if you survive prison. I’m sure the skills you’ve recently learned will come in handy in jail and prison.
SBF, if you are sentenced to federal prison, I certainly hope that your gay fans will be allowed to visit you in prison for conjugal visits. I would like to visit you so that I can fart in your face while you tongue my anus. But for your own sake, please take some self-defense classes to ward off the homosexual prisoners who may try to rape you in prison. Save your anus and mouth for your fans, not deranged prisoners.
Yo SBF. I’m gunna git sum of dat!
Corky recently told A-Rod to contact his Hollywood friends because he had a great idea for a tv show for A-Rod. He said it was a reality show for A-Rod which would show what A-Rod is really like. Mr. Belding, who was sitting on the couch with Corky at the time, leaned to the side and ripped a window-rattling fart to show his support for Corky’s idea. Notwithstanding Mr. Belding’s stinky fart, A-Rod informed Corky that he might be interested. A-Rod asked what the name of the show would be. Corky replied that it would be, “Alex Rodriguez’s ‘Fart Meal.’” Mr. Belding said that Corky got the idea from t he Jerry Seinfeld “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.” Corky said that instead of drinking coffee, A-Rod would be eating a meal at a different restaurant during each episode when someone would come up to A-Rod, drop his pants, and then fart in A-Rod’s face! Mr. Belding said that A-Rod would then sniff the farts. Corky disagreed and said that A-Rod would open his mouth and eat the farts! A-Rod replied that it was another doozy and said they Corky and Mr. Belding are getting dumber every day. A-Rod also said that he was going to stop listening to Corky’s ideas unless Corky was naked and A-Rod was able to fondle Corky’s enormous dong. Corky got mad and punch A-Rod in the balls before ass-raping him while Mr. Belding ate spoonfuls of Gatorade powder and sprayed Cheez Whiz into his mouth!
SBF, you should try to make an appearance on this show. Perhaps some people can also fart in your face while you are eating??
SBF and family, sorry to hear about your special little man getting extradited. This is certainly a miscarriage of justice as Sam swears he did nothing wrong. I hope he'll soon become Sam Bankman Freed. I wonder if the US government is extraditing him not for the FTX shit but because of his racism to black folx.
I'll rub one out to one of his recent stories in his memory.
Does anyone else get the feeling that SBF is going to be really annoying and Screech-like in prison? I bet that the prison guards will press their asses up against the space between the vertical bars on the outside of his cell and will rip ass into his cell just to hear SBF utter, "Zoinks!" "Taco Tuesdays" in the prison guard lunchroom will fuel some stink evenings in SBF's cell!
You stupid faggot, I told you not to do that gay shit and now you ended up getting caught by the feds. I hope trying to "make things right" was worth it while you have a train ran on you in prison! I'm out of here, fuck face. Good luck if you read this!
SBF, watch your cornhole, dude. You most likely will get full blown AIDS where you're going!
http://www.tribune242.com/news/2021/mar/29/behind-walls-ex-con-and-his-15-years-fox-hill-pris/
Hope you don't mind dark meat!
SBF, I saw your parents are complaining your legal bills may bankrupt them. Have you told your father about the tens of dollars that can potentially be made servicing the P and A needs of horny truckers at truck stop bathrooms? Maybe you could give him a crash course and he could man that Wisconsin Truck-stop in your place on Christmas Eve? I for one am good for $3 as long as he provides good service.
https://nypost.com/2022/12/13/sam-bankman-fried-tells-court-he-plans-to-fight-extradition/
Damn! Your jewfro is looking really good SBF. You are a man of your word when you said you were going to grow it extra poofy! It doesn’t seem as coarse as Screech’s Jew fro but it’s got a fantastic amount of poofiness. I really wish I could piss on it, and then drop a few turds into it. I believe this would give you exquisite pleasure. It’s a bummer the judge is a woman, as I’m sure special arrangements could have been made for you to spend an hour attending to a male judges needs in his chambers. Hopefully they provide you internet so you can respond to all your newly found queer fans!
SBF, you better not spill the beans on our “back alley” dealings. You hear me boy! I covered for your stupid honky ass, and was prepared to set you up with a real nice truck stop bathroom stall. But you couldn’t keep your mouth shut! Now you best shut yo mouth and take your medicine. Mmmhhhh!
Gary,
I think Corky’s idea about a show where A Rod would travel from restaurant to restaurant gobbling up peoples farts is genius! A Rod could really describe the taste and smell of the farts and how the local areas food effected it. For instance if he was in the south the fart may have a bbq smell and flavor to it. If he was in San Francisco it might smell and taste like jizz! It would be fascinating and I could see the food network jumping on the opportunity to pick the show up. A Rod is sitting on another Corky goldmine!
Brutus, do you that that A-Rod will eventually become an expert in determining what someone consumes based on the smell and taste of their farts? For example, would A-Rod be able to tell that Jason Heyward drank a 2-liter of grape soda simply based on the taste of his wet farts? This could even become a game show where contestants bet on whether A-Rod can determine what a random stranger ingested based on how their farts taste and smell!
I fart through the bars to make SBF’s cell smell nice. He has already made some friends with a few rats. They bite his ass while he sleeps and one pooped in his Jew fro. Tomorrow we will put him in a cell with a cellmate. His name is Mongo and he can’t wait to spend Christmas snuggling with SBF!
Ass Eater, I’m quite certain A Rod already knows what Corky and Mr. B have recently eaten just from their farts. They eat the same thing most days so any change is likely very noticeable. I love the idea of a game show, but I feel it would be more fun if instead of betting on A Rod other deviants played against A Rod. They could fine contestants in public bathrooms across the country and put them up against A Rod. Then special guest stars like Corky and Mr. B would gorge themselves on food backstage before ripping ass in the contestants faces. The supply of special guest stars would be endless. The contestants and A Rod would then have to announce the foods they believed were contained in the fart. Corky and Mr. B would likely stand just off stage and yell at A Rod to let him know what a loser he is. The grand prize would be something like a $25 sizzler gift certificate.
SBF, I am a huge fan. I can only imagine how sad you just be knowing you’ll be spending Christmas and New Years in the hospital ward of that foul prison. Especially when you were supposed to be enjoying the festive holiday season at a lovely and mostly clean truck stop bathroom. Hopefully they allow you access to the internet so you can reply to our pressing questions. I would like to know what the other patients in the ward are there for? They likely have covid and aids and all kinds of fun things. Be wary of giving them access to your butthole and definitely do not let them rip farts in your face. You will almost certainly catch super aids and die if you do. Please ask your Dad if he will be manning your Christmas Eve truck stop shift. You don’t want to screw over more people who made special plans to buttslam you and rip farts in your face!
I am SBF’s biggest fan. I have been calling the prison he’s being held in every 5 minutes for the last 3 hours. I call and demand updates. Sometimes if I have one I fart into the phone so the person on the other end knows I’m horny for SBF. They will not let me talk to him, but I can confirm he is doing well, has not been buttslammed against his will, and is being allowed to work on his unpaid bathroom attendant intern training in the medical wards bathroom. The person I spoke to claimed he has a tip hat he made out of a bed pan and is using antacids as “breath mints”. I’ve told them if they don’t release him soon a lot of horny truckers will be pretty bummed out come Christmas Eve but they don’t seem to care. They actually asked me to never call again but that made me more determined and I now call every 3 minutes. I’m hoping I will annoy them enough so they let me talk to SBF.
Hi everyone. I have a giant hook nose like Screech did, and I also have a small Jew fro. I’d like to replace Screech if SBF cannot take over. Also, it’s well known I have a microscopic penis like Screech did. Zarnks!
Howard, your poofy Jew fro is just a sad wig. Go fuck yourself, you sad sack of shit. You'll never be welcomed in the gay dumpster scene or any other due to your aversion to germs and viruses. Go back to getting pegged by Robin Quivers. I hope you die from myocarditis.
SBF, I hope this message gets through to you. Please know that you have a legion of queer fans who want to hear from you. I hope that your defense attorney will post some messages from you here, although for legal purposes, I’m guessing that this won’t happen until your trial. I hope it makes you feel better knowing that three are hundreds of horny queers who are ready to rip ass in your face and jizz into your Jew-fro. I’m glad that you are using a bed bag as a tip jar and are handing out antacid pills as makeshift breath mints - that is very ingenious of you and shows you clearly go the extra mile to be the best Unpaid Bathroom Attendant that you can possibly be.
I have confirmed that Mrs. & Mrs. SBF are able to get supplies to SBF. They have been taking him food and medication. The only issue is they refuse to bring him deep dish pepperoni pizza’s and needed bathroom attendant supplies like small bottles of cologne, a tip hat, and breath mints. SBF is also sorely lacking a supply of gay porn to keep his spirits up! No word on conjugal visits which I find a breach of his basic human rights! I’m hoping word comes soon about potential rec times where SBF can get some fresh air. If that happens I will be on the next flight to the Bahamas so I can press my ass agains the fence and rip ass in SBF’s face, then get my anus tounged. I’ll slip the guards a few bucks so I can buttslam SBF by sticking my dick through a hole in the fence. That will really keep his spirits up during this difficult time.
Guys, I don’t know how he got this to me, but today when I checked my mail I found a large envelope waiting for me. It had no return address. When I opened it I found a nude photo of SBF autographed to “SBF Fanatic”! I believe the photo was taken in his luxury condo. I’ve already jerked off to it 3 times! What a nice guy!
SBF Fanatic, does SBF have a tiny dong to go along with his flabby body and poofy Jew-fro? If so, he truly is a clone of Screech!
SBF has have prepared those nude photos prior to his arrest. While he’s languishing in the Clink, he should use his time to get into “prison shape” and then sent out some new nude photos. He may have to have his defense attorney hide a camera in his ass prior to walking into the prison to meet SBF, retrieve the camera while in the prison and then use to be take some tasteful nude photos of SBF prior to inserting the camera back in his anus and then walking out of prison and over to some place to get the photos developed. Are Photomats still around??
I graduated from MIT in 2014 and knew SBF. In fact, SBF and I lived on the same dorm floor during our junior year. I remember one time during Feb 2013 when I woke up at 3AM and walked down our floor to get to the bathroom. As I walked past SBF’s dorm room, I heard a loud belch followed someone uttering, “Zoinks!” I laughed to myself as I proceeded to the bathroom to take a piss. After I finished peeing, I re-entered and then started walking back to my dorm room. As I got closer to SBF’s room, I heard what sounded like a loud fart which rattled his door! I then heard moaning following by the conspicuous sound of loud butt-slamming! Someone kept yelling, “Zoinks!” during this incident. I was weirded out by this commotion, so I hurried back to my room. About five minutes later, SBF opened his dorm room door and the hallway quickly filled with the stench of anus and semen! SBF is a weird dude!
Gary, SBF has a miniscule dong that barely peeks out from his massive pubic Jew fro! It’s extremely erotic!
Ping Yu, that story is hot! We can only speculate who was in there with SBF. Hopefully one day soon he will be back on this board and will be able to confirm that story and give us some details on that hookup! It seems that SBF has been very into the rowdy SBTB scene for much longer than he originally told us. He was likely hooking up with a Mr. Belding or an AC Slater. That belch makes me believe it was a Mr. Belding!
Last night, Corky and Mr. Belding were devouring greasy deep dish pizza and sucking down 2-liters of Mountain Dew while watching Corky’s favorite movie, Hulk Hogan’s “No Holds Barred.” Corky and Mr. Belding then had a contest to see who could rip and best belches and farts. A-Rod could heard Corky and Mr. Belding farting and laughing and felt jealous that he was missing out on the fun. A-Rod walked downstairs to his den and asked Corky what he and Mr. Belding were doing. Corky replied that they were having a farting contest and then Mr. Belding leaned to the side and ripped a nasty fart which caused Corky to laugh hysterically. A-Rod said he could top that and could be just as fun as Mr. Belding. A-Rod then clinched his teeth and forced out a tiny squeaky fart. Corky started laughing and told A-Rod that he sucked as badly at farting as he does at baseball. Corky pointed out that A-Rod’s fart was too short and it barely smelled. Corky pointed out that if he was a real man, he would be able to make a 10-second fart like Mr. Belding. Corky also said that a man’s fart should make a room smell like a stinky butthole. Mr. Belding then stood up and expelled a 15-second which caused the room to reek of the stench of an unwashed anus! Corky then raped A-Rod for being a loser who didn’t know how to fart! A-Rod sure learned a lesson that time!
In a move intended to potentially allow for him to meet his Christmas Eve Truck Stop date SBF will waive his extradition fight and come to the US. Hopefully he gets a fair and horny judge who allows bail, as well the right to travel for “work related purposes” which would get him right back in the unpaid bathroom attendant intern game. When I called Corky to let him know the amazing news he asked me who “SBF” was, and then got angry I’d woken him up so early. He threatened to beat me up, then I heard Mr. B ask who it was and Corky said it was some weirdo. The call ended with a monster fart that I have to admit gave me a boner! I’m hoping SBF is back in the USA by tomorrow!!
SBF, how much urine can your Jew-fro absorb? After being peed on for several random strangers, does the additional weight of the soaked-up urine in your Jew-fro present any neck issues for you?
I’m so gay for you right now. I want to feel your poofy Jew-fro rubbing against my taint before I jizz all over it!
Guys, I have some good news! My intel, which comes from a network of deranged queers all over the world, tells me that tomorrow SBF will be whisked back to the US. He will then be given bail with nonsensical restrictions that he will evade such as home confinement. Thankfully a number of well placed homo’s will be assisting with this. Cut to the chase and unless something goes wrong SBF himself will be at that Wisconsin truck stop on Christmas Eve! A true Christmas miracle!! He is ready to take off the “intern” training wheels, and take on his new role as bathroom attendant intern. I will keep everyone informed and we should have all the answers either tomorrow or Thursday. I plan on being first in line Saturday night and will rip multiple blasts in SBF’s face as he eats my ass!
In the early 2000’s I worked for NBC and I came across a movie they had made but never released. It was called “Pretty Woman 2” and starred Mr. Belding and Screech. As SBTB was being shut down I grabbed the tape and took it home. When I watched it I found the most ridiculous movie ever made. It was a total ripoff of Pretty Woman with Mr. Belding in the Richard Gere roll and Screech in the Julia Roberts role, but filmed on a ridiculously low budget. In the beginning Screech is turning tricks and all the hookers hate him and are throwing garbage at him. All of a sudden an old station wagon pulls up and asks Screech for directions. It’s Mr. Belding and when Screech tells him directions cost $5 Mr. B gets out of the car and belts him right in the face, then bends him over the car and ass slams him. Everyone around cheers this. Mr. B then tells Screech he needs to show him where his Motel 6 is and Screech gets in the car. During the ride to the hotel Mr. B is eating a sandwich and drinking a 2 liter of Mountain Dew. He keeps belching in Screech’s face, which causes Screech to keep yelling Zoinks over and over. Somehow Screech’s going rate comes up and he tells Mr. B he gets $2.50 an hour which Mr. B says is insane. When Screech asks Mr. B what he does Mr. B says he’s a billionaire who buys companies and breaks them up. He then leans to the side and rips a nasty fart which causes another “Zoinks”. Mr. B tells Screech he will give him $.50 for the next week as he has a lot of important dinners and such at extravagant places like Arby’s, McDonalds, and Pizza Hut and that he needs a rim goblin like Screech to make sure his butthole is cleaned properly after each dump he takes. Screech agrees to this deal and next thing we know they are in Mr. B’s hotel room and Mr. B is blasting ass in Screech’s face. This was the first 10 minutes of the movie.
Tank, that sounds like a fantastic movie! In the current “woke” environment, a movie like that would get a $50 million budget and would be a huge hit. But back in the early 90s, Americans were very uptight and were grossed out by the idea of a hot gay love story between an overweight and balding middle-aged man and his young Jew-froed pupil. Thankfully, times have changed!
I hope to see this movie soon. I bet that Screech enjoyed being belched on and being Mr. Belding’s gay love slave! I wonder whether the scenes were all ad-libbed?
Fellow deranged queers. I am glad to see my sources were accurate and our new sex symbol has been freed to his parents home just as predicted. SBF is now free to move about the country as an unpaid bathroom attendant. The moment he got home he immediately set up his bathroom with a tip hat, colognes, and breath mints, and told his parents to invite some friends over so he could train. His father yelled at him and his mother told him he’s a disgrace and no friends would want to be seen going to there house. Especially to be a customer at their bathroom where their just out on bail son was practicing his unpaid bathroom attendant intern skills. At this SBF got angry and told them Corky had just promoted him to unpaid bathroom attendant and he was no longer an intern. He said that was the greatest accomplishment of his life, and he was a sorry if his parents friends are so snobby they don’t want to support his new endeavor. He then got to work using his MIT skills to remove his ankle bracelet and put it on a robot he made as a kid that he had named JM J. I believe SBF will be traveling to the truck stop tomorrow to get set up for Christmas Eve. He will NOT be servicing any P & A needs until Saturday at 6pm so please don’t bother him. See everyone Saturday night!
It's a Christmas miracle! Even though SBF says he only has $100,000 dollars to his name his parents/gay community were able to raise the $250,000,000 dollar bail! Looks like our boy will be working that Wisconsin truck stop after all! Good work and let's get every dollar of use out of his sickly body! I'm SO looking forward to this! ZOINKS!
Jeremy, thankfully the judge is a member of our “club” and allowed absolutely nothing to be put up in order to meet the $250M bail! At some point in January SBF’s parents are supposed to have signed over the equity in their house which will likely be a few million, but no where near $250M. We can all thank the judge Saturday night as he will be there. In order to make this work there were some tense negotiations that saw me forced to give up my number 1 spot in line to Judge Gorenstein. But I was glad to do it in order to save Christmas and get our new sex symbol released. I can’t wait to meet you as I’m a huge fan of Growing Pains! Let me know if you need a +1. I’ll make sure you get a good spot in line!
SBF Fanatic, that is great news. I'm a shabbos goy myself and have a deep trust and respect for the Jewish people. They are almost as degenerate as us queers!!! I know you are camped out in a stall in that Wisconsin restroom right now and I thank you for giving your spot up to such a kind and respectable judge. I would love to meet you and perhaps Eiffel tower SBF with you! See you then!
SBF is one sexy little beast and I'm gonna shove my dirty-ass lump of coal right up his stretched-out cock-stocking and then blow my enormous load of jizz right into his massive jew-fro. Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!!..
Any boots on the ground in Wisconsin? I'm just about to get on my flight from Georgia to General Mitchell International Airport. Anyone want to share a rental car? Really looking forward to this Christmas! SBF, please let us know that you'll be prepared for us! I have some old signed VHS tapes of Growing Pains for you as a tip!
The festivities have begun! Judge Gorenstein was able to leave a smelly dump, and SBF took care of cleaning his anus, but the judge had performance issues and had to step aside. Since that point it’s been nothing but trucker after trucker spraying diarrhea, ripping monster farts, and going to town on SBF’s butthole! it may be -5 and snowing outside, but in the bathroom it’s a balmy 90 with the bathroom mirrors covered in steam and feces. Jeremy the second you arrive you go to the front of the line!
Damn it, my Pontiac Aztek from the rental place has had something go wrong with what I think is the fuel line. I'm going to try and wave down some truckers by showing my hiked up shorts. I'm a big time celebrity so it shouldn't be long now. Keep a stall warm for me!
Jeremy Miller, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to post here! I remember reading that you were best friends with Screech when you were both kids. Is SBF the new “Screech” for you? Did your have a falling out with Screech? I bet he resented the fact that although you were both Jewish, he had a poofy Jew-fro and massive hook nose, whereas you looked like a normal kid. Did you ever catch Screech spying on you when you were going to the bathroom? He probably pretended he was a bathroom attendant just so he could catch a whiff of your farts, which he would fantasize about later in the day while jerking off!
I would love to celebrate the spirit of Christmas by jizzing into SBF’s Jew-fro and farting in his face!
Stinky, it’s a true Christmas once again thanks to SBF! For the first time since Screech passed you can feel the Christmas spirit as dozens of horny truckers, and a good number of regular folks, are here taking massive dumps in SBF’s Jew fro, jizzing all over the place, and buttslamming SBF! Many have been calling SBF a cock goblin, or a hook nosed Jew bastard. I have heard thousands of “Zoinks” come from SBF as people have ripped farts in his face, pissed and shit in his Jew fro, and jizzed all over him. The scene is still very festive and some really fat trucker even shoved a small Christmas tree he had kept in his truck up SBF’s ass! SBF said he will soon be taking a break in his hammock but even then dudes can sit on a toilet below him and spray diarrhea and rip farts. SBF will then be back around 7-8pm to start another shift. So far his tip hat has nearly $23! If you can make it Stinky you should head over!
I have to say it made my night when I pulled into a truck stop and found a new Screech! After spraying diarrhea and getting my ass cleaned I ripped a fart right on SBF’s nose, then buttslammed him. His butthole is much tighter than Screech’s was. I rate him 4.5/5 stars! I even left a $.10 tip!
What a grand night! I dropped at least three GRIDS positive loads in SBF's anus! He cried for joy when I told him! It's so good to be able to pay homage to Screech by butt slammin' a carbon copy of him. This made my year turn on a dime for the positive. I hope he can stay out of prison. You can tell he was sorry for what happened!
I agree with Steve. You could really tell SBF is sorry for losing 8 billion dollars. The way his ass gobbled up my dong after he’d cleaned by asshole showed it. I was smashed on bourbon when I entered and was shocked when a guy in a tuxedo bowed to me, then led me to a stall, bowed again, and allowed me to spray rancid diarrhea all over the place. He then ate out my butthole and jerked me off like a pro! I then ass slammed him causing him to yell “Zoinks” with each thrust, before I jizzed into his massive Jew fro. While I as slammed him another obese trucker farted in his face numerous times! There was a cool little Christmas tree and I helped myself to some tiny candy canes SBF had laid out. I also tipped him nearly $.80! What an amazing Christmas!
Has SBF perfected the “nose against the anus” bathroom attendant move which Screech created? Screech was not a good actor, but he was a superstar within the close-knit Unpaid Bathroom Attendant community. Screech’s groundbreaking moves revolutionized the industry. I used to think that Unpaid Bathroom Attendants were annoying weirdos who sat on a stool in a men’s room handing out paper towels and squirting liquid soap into the hands of patrons. However, after Screech, it became expected that an Unpaid Bathroom Attendant was to sniff your farts and provide a target onto which to shoot your semen while rubbing one out!
Gents, what an amazing and successful first run! A huge thanks to Mr. B and Corky for whipping SBF into shape. He surprised everyone with his amazing skill set. We had some big tippers this weekend and SBF is heading home with over $100!
Stinky, SBF definitely tried the nose to anus move many times, but he lacks the massive hook nose that allowed Screech to make it his signature move. A skinny guy is in luck as SBF can reach the butthole. But fat guys are out of luck as their enormous buttcheeks are just to much for SBF’s nose reach. We discussed plastic surgery and a prosthetic nose. SBF is concerned a prosthetic nose will keep him from enjoying the farts and other ass emanations.
Next week we have a special New Years Eve event.
https://jubitz.com/
Portland Oregon. A truck stop with a number of showers, and a jacuzzi. Change your routes now boys, this is going to be off the hook. We are going to have a few special guest stars that include Mr. Horton, Mr. Drummond, Corky, and the legendary Mr. Belding. SBF will of course be manning all unpaid bathroom attendant duties.
Don’t miss this one. First dude to gobble a floater in the jacuzzi wins a $5 gift certificate! Any celebs that want to guest star can hit me up here. I’ll let you know if you qualify.
Hey, this is big time celebrity Matt Frewer. I think I lost my watch in SBF's ass. Does anyone have a good point of contact for him? This was a personal gift from Liberace, so it means the world to me. Hit me up, you hook nosed fuck!
SBF Fanatic, thanks for the info on the Oregon truck stop! How demented of a queer would one have to be to actually use a jacuzzi at a truck stop? Seriously, that thing probably hasn’t been cleaned in 15 years! Since it’s last cleaning, thousands of gay truckers had shit and blown loads of cum in it!
Larry, I am disgusted with your comments. We are a professional truck stop that offers many services for horny, gay, truckers. We clean our showers at least once a month, and the jacuzzi is drained and cleaned annually! Unfortunately (or fortunately) the jacuzzi cleaning occurs the first week each January. We found that the best time as the annual New Year’s Eve blow out always finds it caked with jizz and feces. To say we haven’t cleaned it in “15 years” is erroneous and could hurt our reputation! We are very pleased to be hosting this weekend blowout and are renting a second jacuzzi from a gay bathhouse! Make sure to hit up the Ponderosa Grill while you’re here. New Year’s Eve will feature a reunion of the remaining members of “Salty the Pocketknife”, along with various special burgers such as the “Rim Goblin”. The theater will be playing Screech’s gay porn classics 24/7. Most importantly SBF will be manning our massive Men’s room as an unpaid bathroom attendant.
Hey everyone. Sorry for going radio silent for a few weeks. Those darn fart faces in the DOJ just couldn’t give me some time to get my unpaid bathroom attendant gig off the ground! But I’m much smarter than they are. It was amazing seeing everyone last week. I have to say I was a bit overwhelmed and my butthole was stretched out quite a bit. My mother was furious that my Jew fro had feces and jizz in it, but I told that ho that’s the life of an unpaid bathroom attendant! She piped down when I showed her the $118 I made in tips. I can’t wait for this weekend in Portland. This will be an even larger challenge, and I’m excited my mentors Corky and Mr. Belding will be there! Mr. Belding has promised to rip dozens of farts in my face, and Corky told me he’s giving me a karate chop. I can’t wait to see everyone! If I have time from my unpaid bathroom attendant duties I’m hoping to take a relaxing soak in that jacuzzi!
An exciting development. The first 50 truckers in line for the bathrooms on New Year’s Eve at 5pm will receive a very classy nude Polaroid I’ve autographed them as well! I shaved my pubic Jew fro so you can really check out my .25 inch schlong! They are quite the glamour shots and should be in high demand! See everyone Saturday night!
SBF, I heard a rumor that the Spice Channel is producing a documentary-type movie about Screech. The working title is “The Constant Drone of Loud Butt-Slamming: Dustin Diamond’s Time on the Rowdy Saved By The Bell Set.” Even though this movie is supposed to be a documentary, it also has an XXX rating and falls within the genre of “gay porn.” Perhaps you should audition for a role in the movie. You don’t sound like Screech, although you do resemble him. Maybe you could play Screech in the scenes where he’s grunting by being butt-slammed or uttering “Zoinks” when another character rips ass in your face?? This could be your big break!
Hey everyone, I stopped my big rig at a truck stop in Reno, NV an hour ago and saw someone who resembled SBF working as an unpaid bathroom attendant. I’m not sure whether it was him, but this guy had a poofy Jew-fro which had caked on layers of diarrhea and semen. I personally ripped ass in his face a couple times to ring in the new year! It is not quite midnight in Nevada, but there is a long line of demented queers who are farting in the SBF’s face to celebrate the end of 2022. Someone brought in a small tv which looks like it is from 1985, and has it tuned to a New Year’s Eve special which stars Mario Lopez counting down to 2023. Several of the queer here are dressed as AC Slater to pay homage to Mario Lopez. There are also a few perverts dressed up as Screech who are sniffing everyone’s asses! I also say a couple dudes dressed up as Corky and they are strangling the Screeches with diapers full of doody and are raping them! This rest stop is off the hook!
SBF, I celebrated New Year’s Day by gorging on greasy tacos and have drunk about 5 2-liters of Mello Yellow. I think it would be really hot to take a watery dump into your Jew-fro and then jizz all over you before farting in your face and then showering you with my piss! Let’s get together soon - this tremendous offer must have you rock hard!!
I farted on SBF’s nose on New Years Eve and he yelled “Zoinks”. He then belched in my asshole tickling my asshole and causing me to donkey kick him in the sternum. It was a good time.
Brutus, ever since former MLB player Jason Heyward popularized the act of belching into his teammates' assholes to motivate them to win the World Series, demented queers have been trying to perfect the move. I am glad to see that SBF is working on his own version of this homoerotic move!
Hi all happy new year!
I was going through some of my old SBTB new class spank tapes when I came across an episode that is probably non canon and seems a joke?
At 18:50 of this video, screech starts slapping the big bopper about. When I first watched it on air, I’m sure he got teabagged by the wrestlers who then proceeded to rub their taint all over his bird chest, however in this version, he’s actually the wrestling referee…what gives?
https://youtu.be/NLNNRXNZCwI
Ass Hawk, that is an erotic find and a perfect way to start 2023. It’s so obvious that Mr. B and Screech were deeply in love at one point during the new class. I’m certain that mere minutes after that friendly poking and banter Mr. B was giving Screech a vicious teabagging!
SBF was my gay lover. He also tricked me into shooting JFK. We were having a hot tryst and he told me to shoot off a few celebratory shots while he ate my ass. He promised he had loaded the gun with blanks. As he gave me a Russian trombone a fired a few shots, and realized I’d been tricked. By the time I looked around SBF was gone!
This site is the stupidest thing ever. It's also dumb.
Florian, we don’t judge here. Many of the regulars come here to post gay fantasies and read gay fantasies posted by other people. I have no doubt that many people read these posts while sitting bare-ass naked and while pleasuring themselves.
Florian, I want to take a massive dump in your mouth while SBF gives me a blumpkin. This needs to be arranged ASAP to teach you some respect for this fine board. Didn’t you see Lee Harvey Oswald posted here earlier today? Where else does that happen!
SBF, I want to feel your Jewish Afro rubbing up against and massaging my taint and anus. I also want to feel your lips on my butthole as I force out a heinous fart before unleashing a huge turd for you to hungrily gobble down like you are Pac-Man! Let’s get together immediately and make this happen!!!
I need SBF’s help. I have a bad case of hemmoroids and my doctor told me I should no longer use abrasive toilet paper. He recommended using SBF’s soft Jew fro. I think I should get precedent in using SBF’s jew fro and tongue as I have a medical condition and my doctor even gave me a prescription! It states I should crap in SBF’s jew fro, then use his jew fro for an initial wipe, then have him tongue my anus clean. I will be providing SBF a few farts as a tip. Let’s make this happen soon SBF!
Ass Hawk, that sure was one key episode! I loved the way he dressed up as a refereee and you could see screech having flashbacks of Slater in his singlet during the wrestling match. Mr B looked like such a stud back then too, I’m surprised he stood for all that student bullying about his hair and weight at the beginning too…
It’s like around 12:00 of this hot corky for president episode, where all the cheerleaders want to bang him https://youtu.be/PIaTZ3BjMyM
Ass Hawk. Mr. B should never have tolerated those insults from Screech, nor should he have allowed his lover to do fake Three Stooges moves on him. Mr. Belding should have ripped off Screech’s clothes, then gave him a nice ass raping. It would have been great if he then shat in Screech’s Jew fro and wiped his ass on Screech’s referee shirt! I bet the crowd would have stomped their feet and cheered this on!
Hi everyone. It’s your favorite mall cop Paul Blart. We have decided to do a 3rd movie, but this time Paul will head to San Francisco and infiltrate the underground queer scene in order to solve a crime. This movie will star Paul Pelosi and his gay lover who will have a hilarious hammer fight, and we would love to get SBF in the movie as an unpaid bathroom attendant at the “Manhole”, which is the queerest gay bar in all of San Francisco. Paul will entertain the bathroom on his trademark Segway and SBF will then go to town on eating his ass and jerking him off. SBF, please confirm you’re interested as filming will start next week. This role is unpaid. Thank you.
Paul Blart, please tell me that the 3rd Paul Blart movie is really happening. The first movie was good, but the second one really sucked. The idea for the third movie sounds hilarious and inserting hardcore gay porn scenes is definitely appropriate in the current “woke” environment! I look forward to the hammer fight and watching Paul Pelosi and his gay lover having the hammer fight - would SBF make a cameo in that scene and try to break up the fight by grabbing their cocks and asses before the scene ends up with SBF being spit-roasted??
It seems my original post has been snatched by a spam filter. That filter must be extremely homophobic! Tom, to answer your questions yes this is happening. The hammer fight scene will involve Paul who will discover the fight in progress and will utter the line “you faggots really know how to have a good time”. He will then diffuse the situation by releasing a noxious fart blast that will send Paul Pelosi and his lover into convulsions. SBF’s role will be as a bad guy unpaid bathroom attendant who uses his position to steal things and plant items on his unsuspecting bathroom customers! He will of course suck dudes off, take farts to the face, and eat many filthy buttholes while doing this.
Guys, I’m currently in production of an SBF comic book. It will include his sordid adventures including his lover Caroline. I hope this doesn’t turn off his queer fans. It quickly gets into his current phase of being an unpaid bathroom attendant/human toilet. I’m hoping this will be a series up to and including when he goes to jail and is buttslammed by negroes.
Paul, the Paul Blart movie series is completely lacking in farts and hardcore homosexual anal sex - thank you for rectifying this oversight. Would it be possible for MC Hammer to make a cameo appearance and say “Stop! Hammertime!” During the Paul Pelosi scene? I’m pretty sure that MC Hammer lives in Oakland, not far from the Pelosi mansion, and could use a payday.
Tom, the writers loved your idea of adding MC Hammer! They have already contacted his agents and he’s agreed to film the scene. He will be wearing a crotch less pair of parachute pants and will dance into the scene where his balls will be shaking and dangling as he yells, “Stop! Hammertime”. His balls will rub all over the heads of Paul and his lover, and then the hammer fight will commence. At this point MC Hammer will dance out of the scene allowing our hero Paul Blart to enter. We have decided that as Paul is infiltrating the queer community his rent a cop uniform will be very Liberace like with all kinds of bedazzling as well as his Segway being very queered up. He will of course be wearing ass less chaps as pants.
Just a tidbit to tantalize everyone. In keeping with killing off characters that are no longer needed the opening scene will show Paul Blarts daughter Maya home for Christmas. She will go outside to get the mail, and an out of control Bus will crash into her. Paul will witness this while standing the doorway to his house while wearing no pants. He will then shrug, and go back into the house to jerk off to some hot gay porn magazines. Maya will never be mentioned again. Hope this titillates everyone.
I want to announce I have not yet signed to be in Paul Blart 3. They have not offered me any money, and have just said that I “might” be able to get a few tips by eating Paul’s fat, sweaty, ass, while eating others farts and dingleberries. I will also be a sleazy character who steals from people while servicing their P & A needs. That’s not my style. I’m a class act who would never steal from anyone. I’m all about effective altruism and eating ass! If the writers correct these issues and cough up some dough for my legal defense I’ll definitely be in. Paul Blart 2 is one of my all time favorite movies.
SBF, I would like to be an extra in Paul Blart 3. I will be a patron of the “Manhole” and will enter the bathroom after doing a pile of poppers and shoving a gerbil and an alligator up my ass. I will enter the bathroom and spray diarrhea everywhere sending the gerbil and alligator flying. The gator will chomp down on your hairless bean bag and the gerbil will make a nest in your poofy Jew fro while biting your scalp repeatedly. I will continue spraying liquid shit everywhere. Please put in a good word for me with the producers if this floats your boat.
Paul, please do something to kill off your daughter in the third movie. Either have her get run over by a bus, as you suggest, or simply mention at the start of the movie that she moves away and never mention her again - she hasn’t been needed since her role in the original movie. I would like to see a scene where Paul Blart is in a men’s room as passes out from low blood sugar until SBF revives him with a candy breath mint. Once he comes to, SBF yanks off Paul Blart’s pants and tongues his stinky butthole. Paul Blart farts loudly in SBF’s face, causing SBF to Jizz his pants in absolute ecstasy! Paul Blart then gives SBF rough anal! After climaxing, Paul Blart pulls up his pants and farts in SBF’s face again before throwing a dollar into SBF’s tip jar, spritzing himself with cologne, grabbing a handful of breath mints, and then leaving the bathroom!
Tom, don’t worry, we all hated Maya. Her getting hit by a bus and Paul seeing this happen and shrugging his shoulders has already been filmed. We are considering adding a funny fart sound when Paul shrugs but may test that out on an audience. We are still working to lock up SBF who is demanding a salary, but if we can’t sign him no worries. We will just have a longer scene with Paul Pelosi and his deranged lover. I think something similar to your idea could be used with Blart and Pelosi’s lover. That hot man action between Blart and Pelosi’s lover could even be the precursor to the hammer fight! SBF if you don’t sign on by tomorrow you’re out of the movie and we will go with this new idea. Thanks Tom Jizz!
Hey gang, I just searched for "Paul Blart" on IMDB.com and discovered that "Paul Blart: Sky Cop" is listed on there as a 3-min short from 2018. It looks like Corky produced this short while filling his diaper with doodie! How the hell did this get listed on IMDB???
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DplyG5_-toc
Larry, that looks like something A Rod would make. Corky is far more talented. I could see A Rod proudly showing Mr. B and Corky that film and them laughing at him until he cried. Then Corky would give A Rod a nice ass raping to teach him a lesson. Thankfully it seems we will soon be treated to a real Paul Blart movie that will have hot man action!
I am pleased to announce I am joining Paul Blart 3. After some negotiations they are allowing me to service the movie crew between takes, and have my tip hat out. Tomorrow I begin shooting!
SBF, good to have you on board but stay tuned. We are rewriting the opening scene where we get rid of Maya. We had been in contact with the legendary Steve Anus and he has agreed to a one day shoot. This will have Paul Blart and Maya at a Pizza Hut where Paul will be eating deep dish Pepperoni Pizza and guzzling Mountain Dew. He will start ripping farts and letting loose some monster belches when he will get a little cocky and throw down a challenge for anyone to challenge him in a farting competition. Steve Anus will step up to take that challenge and after a very pedestrian fart from Paul Blart will blast a super sonic fart right in Maya’s face, blasting her right out the window to her demise. Paul will shrug this off and will lift his leg and let out a barely audible blast. Steve Anus will then aim his ass at Paul, leading to a tense moment where everyone will think Steve is going to blast Paul out the window as well. But then Steve at the last second will laugh and stand up before shaking hands with Paul. Then Steve Anus’s entourage will come over to chow down with Paul! I think this is a fantastic opening scene!
Paul, that sounds like a fantastic scene with a cameo from Steve Anus!
I’m looking forward to see how you use SBF in the film. Obviously he’s going to be sniffing farts, helping random strangers going to the bathroom while cheering them on, and being their homosexual sex slave. However, I would also enjoy watching SBF hand out paper towels and a breath mint to a bathroom user. Instead of receiving a monetary tip for this diligent service, the stranger instead suddenly and unexpectedly blows his nose into SBF’s Jew-fro, causing SBF to utter, “Zoinks!”
SBF, have you thought about going on a show such as C-SPAN and answering questions from random callers? I think it would be a great way to meet new fans. I’m sure that there would also be lots of entertainment, such as provided by this caller several years ago when he asked a congressman if he could “shit in [his] mouth”
https://youtu.be/Edw5ulut0vQ
First day in the can. it went extremely well. Steve Anus was a total professional and we had an obese homeless dude in a wig play “Maya” to save a few bucks. Steve Anus actually blasted him out the window which annoyed the Pizza Hut manager but we just told him to pipe down. A really special surprise happened when unbeknownst to us SBF showed up, snuck into the men’s room, and set up as an unpaid bathroom attendant! Imagine our surprise when someone had to take a Pizza Hut fueled dump and went in to find that SBF was there to service their needs! I immediately hit up the bathroom and was thrilled to find SBF wearing a little queer bow tie. He bowed to me and opened a stall. While I shat he cheered me on, and leered at me threw a crack in the stall door. The instant I stood up to wipe he was there tounging my butthole like a pro while really working my dong. I jizzed in his Jew fro which reeked of urine and ripped a nice fart in his face. On my way out I noticed all his breath mints were gone, which I blame on Paul Blart, but I did use a little cologne spritz. I then tipped $.50 which seemed to thrill SBF. I can’t wait to shoot tomorrows “hammer fight” scene!
Paul, thank you for giving me the opportunity to appear in your superb movie sequel! It was really smart if you to keep costs low by filming inside of an actual Pizza Hut. The combination of several cups of Mountain Dew and the deep dish Meat Lover’s pizza really gave me some serious gas! The homeless guy playing “Maya” really went flying - I bet that my powerful wet fart was the best meal he’s had in months! It was strange to see SBF show up on the set reeking of the stench of semen and anus - he must really be studying the art of being an Unpaid Bathroom Attendant. I wanted to fart into SBF’s mouth, but the bathroom line was just too long at that time. I’m looking forward to seeing what happens tomorrow on the rowdy Paul Blart 3 set!
Last night, while eating dinner, Corky was walking old pro wrestling matches with his best friend, Mr. Belding. Corky had a great time watching a cage match involving Hulk Hogan. Corky told A-Rod that he thought it would be cool if there was a cage match between two wrestlers inside of the ring while other wrestlers were outside of the ring and were eating pizza with their backs to the ring. A-Rod asked why the hell other wrestlers would be eating pizza outside of the ring and said that this was a bad way to get Pizza Hut sponsorship money. Corky replied that A-Rod was a moron and that obviously those wrestlers were there to fart on the wrestlers inside the ring who got too close to the edge. Corky said that A-Rod would be a special guest referee and that he would ignore the match and instead press his face against the cage bars so that other wrestlers could fart in his face! Corky also said that the wrestlers in the match would get mad at him for being a crappy referee and would then kick his ass and one of the wrestlers, Hulk Hogan would knock A- Rod to the ground and then give him a leg drop. He said Hulk Hogan would then pin A-Rod by sitting on his face while farting! A-Rod replied that Corky was a sick retard and that something was wrong with his brain. A-Rod said that nobody would be entertained by a wrestling match involving farts and that the entire wrestling arena would reek of the smell of anuses. He also said that he would never participate in something so demented. A-Rod then demanded that Corky pull down his pants and remove his diaper so that A-Rod could fondle Corky’s enormous dong. Corky got mad at A-Rod for being so rude and then viciously ass-raped him while Mr. Belding ate a large plate of chili dogs and repeatedly dropped ass!
I would be liking to drop ass on this SBF. I would be liking to cum inside. I would be liking to arrange this. Let me sex you sweetie.
Corky is a total stud with awesome ideas. I saw that Vince McMahon is returning to the WWE and I think adding Corky to the board of directors would be an amazing move that Wall Street would love to see. The ideas that Corky comes up with are just amazing. The only issue I see is that I don’t think Corky realizes the videos he watches of Hulk Hogan are from the 1980’s and the Hulkster is now 69 years old! I fear that Corky’s knowledge of professional wrestling is like mine, stuck in the 1980’s. If Corky was allowed to change things up and implement his ideas I bet older people who watched wrestling as kids may return to watch!
I want to take an angry dump in SBF’s mouth. My doctor said I have blood in my stool, but I’m too cheap to get the proper tests. I want that poofy headed fruitcake to eat my turd and then provide a detailed report. If I have cancer I’m gonna shoe that loser right up the ass!!
Hey everybody, I bought a house in a subdivision and attended my first Homeowner’s Association meeting last week. I discovered that a guy who lives a couple blocks away is a pornographer. He told me that he has a new gay porn series coming out entitled, “Jizz in a Jewfro.” He said that each movie involves several “victims” who are violated and end up with jizz in their curly Jew fros. I told him that SBF would be perfect for this and he agreed! SBF, if you want to start rehabilitating your name and jump-starting your career as an Unpaid Bathroom Attendant, I think you should take this guy up on his offer. He said you could make an easy $100 by letting random strangers give you rough anal and then letting them jizz all over your poofy fro!!!
Today Corky, Mr. B and. A Rod were watching a movie that A Rod had put on. It had a number of romantic scenes that really annoyed Corky. He said those scenes ruined the movie as they slowed it down. He said that movies could really spice things up by having romantic scenes have a guy pop in to let loose some ridiculously loud farts. He said that would please everyone as people like A a Rod who is a giant faggot likes that kind of thing, while he and Mr. B would enjoy a fat guy ripping heinous farts to add some comedy. Corky told A Rod to get on the phone and make that happen. That there needed to be a rule that all hetero sex scene needed a fat guy popping in to rip farts and maybe bell h a few times. Mr. B agreed with this by lifting his leg and ripping a 17 second fart. A Rod said this was probably Corky’s all time dumbest idea, and that romantic scenes were needed in romantic films and normal people enjoyed them. He said that no one would enjoy a romantic scene that had a fat guy “popping in” to rip farts and belch. He said he noticed Corky had no comments for all the gay porn he and Mr. Belding watched. This enraged Corky who said gay porn had tons of farts and burps already and that’s the only reason he and Mr. B enjoyed it. He said A Rod was a faggot for watching hetero porn that didn’t have any farting or other funny things. At this Mr. B let loose a window rattling belch to support Corky. A Rod then said Corky was getting dumber and dumber and that he should keep his stupid ideas to himself. Corky then stood up and drop kicked A Rod in the balls. He then ripped off A Rod’s Yankees uniform and began ass raping him while Mr. B came over and ripped a 9 second wet fart on A Rod’s head. This caused A Rod to yell “Zoinks” annoying Corky who jizzed all over A Rod then pressed his bubble butt to A Rod’s head and took a dump. He then kicked A Rod in the ribs before he and Mr. B went off to the kitchen to get snacks and watch the Smurfs.
Fart Goblin, you are so lucky that a producer of gay pornography lives near you. Hopefully SBF reaches out to you to start his career as a porno actor.
Crotch, Corky is absolutely right. Obviously he and Mr. Belding only watch gay porn because the farts and belches make them laugh. Replacing romantic storylines with a fat guy farting and belching would improve almost any movie! Imagine how much better the Titanic movie would have been if they had replaced the love scenes with scenes of a couple fat guys gorging on pizza and ripping farts and having an epic benching contest as the ship sank to the bottom of the ocean!
Claude, you nailed it. Imagine Titanic with the movie being focused on that band that played until the end. But instead of playing instruments they instead sat there chowing down on pizza and wings while drinking Mountain Dew, and constantly ripping ass and belching. If they did that everyone but the most deranged queers would be diving over the side to escape the rank stench of anus that would fill the air! That would have been a far superior movie!
Crotch, Corky probably also thinks that the movie, “Apollo 13” is boring because there is too much focus on bringing the astronauts back to earth while minimizing power usage. Corky would prefer a revised version where the astronauts eat deep dish pizza and suck down several 2-liters of Mountain Dew: Baja Blast and then float outside the space capsule bare-assed, lean against the side of the space capsule, and then rip powerful wet farts which propel the Apollo 13 space capsule back to earth. When the space capsule splashes into the ocean, A-Rod just happens to be paddling a rowboat nearby and paddles over to the hatch door. When A-Rod opens the hatch door, he is hit with a blast of air from the interior of the space capsule which reeks of the stench of anus, causing him to exclaim, “Zoinks!”
Today I heard from Corky who regularly calls me with new ideas for shows. He wants to do a reboot of the 80’s show “Cheers”. I asked him who would play the new Sam Malone and he sad that didn’t matter as the stars of the show would be he and Mr. Belding who would sit next to each other eating pizza, drinking Mountain Dew, belching, and farting non stop. When I said it was a bar and everyone drank beer Corky said he doesn’t like the taste of beer and he and his “best friend in the universe” work best with Mountain Dew. He said the audience would love watching them sit there and constantly burp and fart on other customers and employees. I have to say I’m intrigued and could see Leon Carosi playing Sam, with Carla played by evil wench Joy Behar. She would despise the duo of Corky and Mr. B who would never tip her and would constantly belch and fart on her while demanding the TV be changed to Fox News. I would also like a dog like Spuds McKenzie to be a regular bar patron. Corky also threw in that A Rod could regularly guest star and he’d give him some rough anal in the bathroom. I’m thinking if he’s available SBF could play the unpaid bathroom attendant. What do you guys think?
NBC Executive, Corky’s reboot idea sounds like a big winner! How will Corky and Mr. Belding obtain their pizza and Mountain Dew? Will there be a Pizza Hut Express in the bar somewhere? If not, then will there be a pizza restaurant next door? Also, Corky and Mr. Belding are notorious for their love of free refills, so will there be a self-serve soda machine for them?
We are very early on in this, but our thought is that we will replace Melville’s, which was the restaurant above Cheers, with a Pizza Hut. We figure we can get a funny character to be the delivery person who Corky constantly yells at for not bringing his Pizza’s fast enough. Bars normally have coke and a few other sodas in those automatic dispensers behind the bar, and we will just add Mountain Dew to that. That might even be the first episode. Corky and Mr. B demanding that they add Mountain Dew so they can have it on demand at the bar instead of relying on 2 liters brought to them from the Pizza Hut. “Carla” will hate this as she will have to sometimes serve them, and this will lead to Mr. B and Corky ripping ass right in her face. It would be so hot if Corky then headed to the bathroom and found SBF leering at him taking a piss. The laugh track would roar as Corky buttslammed SBF.
Unfortunately the new show is off. We had a lot of interest and I even got a green light for the show. When I called Corky today I could hear cartoons blaring in the background. I told him his show had been greenlit and he asked me what the hell I was talking about. I could then hear him crunching on some kind of food. I told him his idea for a new Cheers was a success, and he again said he had no idea what I was taking about and I was annoying him as he was trying to watch cartoons. I then heard Mr. Belding say something and some rustling, then an enormous fart blasted into the phone before the line went dead. Corky has a short memory. This isn’t the first time this has happened. Sorry guys.
NBC Executive, why are you giving up so easily? Corky was probably in the middle of watching cartoons or old Hulk Hogan wrestling matches when you called. He is a ‘tard after all, although he is lovable. Cut him some slack because we both know that the Cheers reboot will be a big hit! Imagine how many laughs Mr. Belding’s massive fart would have gotten if he did that during the filming of an episode? Remember when the tv show Roc was filmed and broadcast live? I never watched that show, but maybe you could rip off their idea by filming and broadcasting a live episode of the Cheers reboot? Imagine how funny it would be when Corky forgets his lines and overflows his diaper on live TV? Or if Mr. Belding rips a fart so powerful that it causes the camera filming him to shake or the cameraman to utter, “Zoinks!”
Hello, my name is David Gibbs and I am the CEO of Yum! Brands, the patent company of Pizza Hut. I am a big fan of Corky and would like to have he and Mr. Belding appear in a series of commercials. Just about everyone enjoys eating pizza and drinking soda. We would like to have you two appear in commercials where you are eating at Pizza Hut and the one of you belches and then the other belches and farts until you are engaged in a makeshift benching/farting contest. Our marketing department thinks this will be a huge hit and will really drive people to want to eat at Pizza Hut. I will have my assist reach out to your agents so that we can draw up a contract.
David, that sounds like a potential Super Bowl commercial! The only thing that could make it better would be if they were watching football while they are eating, farting, and belching. Then A Rod would appear and complain that he didn’t like football, and he wanted to watch soccer. Mr. B and Corky could then use their Pizza Hut fueled farts to blast A Rod through the wall Kool Aid Man in reverse style! Then the song “I am a real American” would play to close the commercial! This would be a major hit and get you a bunch of new customers!
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