I recently acquired a copy of Dustin Diamond's "Behind the Bell" autobiography, a book which was published in 2009. In the book, Diamond complained that the writers of Saved By The Bell: The New Class wrote storylines about Screech and Mr. Belding being gay! Here are some select passages from the book:
I was still playing Screech in SBTB: The College Years when SBTB: The New Class began production, so there was a brief gap in time when I was still part of the original SBTB and hadn’t yet transitioned all the way with [Dennis Haskins] into the new format. When I started with The New Class, that’s when all the weird scripts started getting handed down to Den and me—scripts with all sorts of blatant homosexual innuendo between Mr. Belding and Screech. It was clear that the writers were either getting bored or had a bone to pick and were taking it out on us. Den was the first to vocalize his objections to whoever would listen. Stage directions started to be inserted into scripts that said things like, “Screech and Mr. Belding embrace and stare into each other’s eyes.” Weird shit like that. Look, I don’t care anything about people’s sexual preference. As far as I’m concerned, people can hit any hole they choose. But in the context of the long- standing relationships and backstories that had been established over years of creating the characters in SBTB, the shit they were handing us was totally inappropriate, and they knew it. Maybe it all was to get back at Den, who seemed to always be up in the writers’ room lecturing them on how he wanted Mr. Belding to be written. Maybe Den had told each of the writers that he was from their individual hometowns, and they’d finally compared notes with each other, deciding he was full of shit. Den was telling them how to do their jobs, and they were like, “Okay buddy, we’re the writers; you’re the actor. We’ll write the lines, you memorize them, and everybody will be happy.” I think Den just got on their nerves after a while, and they started taking it out on us in the scenes we had together. They’d write action like, “Screech gets scared and wraps his arms around Belding for safety.” It was a comedy show with a number of slapstick, cartoonish set pieces, so that wasn’t so bad. But then when scenes weren’t coming off as the writers envisioned, they started getting more graphic.
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Later, Ron Solomon and Brett Dewey’s partnership ended after Ron went on to other projects. Brett stayed with SBTB, sitting up in the seats of the darkened studio during rehearsals, uncorking that high-pitched, Revenge of the Nerds laugh of his whenever we performed one of the overtly gay gags he’d written into the script. You always knew which writers had written which jokes by who laughed the loudest. Den started mumbling, “It’s fucking Brett. He’s the one who thinks this shit’s so funny.”
55 comments:
Saved By The Bell: The New Class was my favorite tv show when it originally aired. I don’t know why Screech complained about the gay jokes and homoerotic situations involving Screech and Mr. Belding in many episodes. I enjoyed it and can speak from experience that many spankings were conducted in my bedroom while watching the show on Saturday mornings! My bed comforter had so many cum stains that I eventually had to throw it out into the garbage!!
I was a writer during 2 seasons of SBTB The New Class. We actually tried to reel in the homoerotic tension and ass play that went on. Most of the sexual scenes, such as the one where Screech lotions up Mr. Belding were ad libbed and weren’t written into the scripts. The director would pull his hair out just trying to control Screech to keep him from yanking the balls out of Mr. Beldings pants and going to town on his monster dong. Mr. B on the other hand never followed the script and just made up “lessons” he felt the audience needed to learn, and did so by assaulting and ass raping Screech. Mr. B was in the writers room often, but only to try and get us to write in more scenes where he ripped ass into Screech’s face.
I work on the set of Saved By The Bell: The New Class during the fifth season as an intern. I remember reading scripts where Screech was supposed to grab onto Belding when he was scared of a spider. Dennis Haskins must not have been wearing underwear under his trousers, because I distinctly remember seeing him pop a tent in his pants when Screech grabbed onto him. Dennis Haskins had an enormous dong and he clearly got aroused by Screech holding onto him. I remember when those two slunk into the men’s room after filming that scene - shortly after the bathroom door shut, I heard some loud butt-slamming and moaning coming from the men’s room.
Everyone knows the SBTB sets were the rowdiest and craziest sets ever. This started because of the degenerate homosexual behavior Screech displayed. It drove the writers and actors crazy and resulted scripts being written to teach Screech “lessons” as well as off camera behavior that bordered on that of a 1970’s gay bathhouse! Actors from other shows would visit the SBTB set just to participate in the notorious antics. One of those people was Corky who stumbled onto the set, and immediately went to town on Screech’s butthole! For Screech to claim it was just the writers who turned the show raging queer is a bold faced lie!
Burrito Supreme, Screech and Mr. Belding were real-life gay lovers during the filming of several seasons. Mr. Belding owned a condo near where SBTB was filmed and Screech and Belding would often ride Screech’s tandem bike to work. They looked like a couple of fairies on that bike! The writers paid homage to their tandem bike by writing a tandem bike scene into a Paris episode on The New Class where they rode the bike through Paris while people threw garbage at them. They looked like total faggot on that bike!
The writers also wrote numerous scenes where Mr. Belding ripped ass in Screech’s face. Mr. Belding would intentionally screw up his lines during filming so that he could film addition scenes while dropping ass in Screech’s face as a prank! Unfortunately, the prudes at NBC at the time wouldn’t allow fart gags to air on a Saturday morning tv show for kids at the time, so those scenes ended up being cut.
Carrot Top visited the set with Corky, JM J Bullock, and Jose Canseco visited the SBTB set one day back in the mid-90s. The set was particularly rowdy that day. Mr. Belding took them to his trailer and they met Screech. Mr. B closed the door to his trailer. About 15 minutes later, the head writer handed me revisions to a scene we were about to shoot and asked me to give a copy to Mr. Belding. So I opened the door to Belding’s trailor and the stench of stale farts and anus hit me like a freight train! Everyone was naked and Corky was really giving it to Screech, right in the ass, while everyone else watched and jerked off. There was semen flying all over the place and it was all I could do to dodge it! I set the copy of revisions on a table and then got the hell out of there just as Jose Canseco ripped a powerful burrito fart which rattled the windows.
Larry, that is one hot story. I need to know if that was during Carrot Top’s roid era? I used to regularly run into the Top out on the dumpster scene in Las Vegas. Because the shrunk his dong into a tiny little mushroom he got his rocks off by encouraging losers like Screech to try and violate his butthole. He would then squeeze his muscular buttcheeks, and try to rip the dudes dick off. It would have been hysterical if this happened to Screech and his tiny cock. He would think he was finally going to get some action, only to have roided out Carrot Top crush his dick with his muscular ass cheeks! Ughhhhh I just lost a load picturing Screech’s dick ripped off and everyone pointing and laughing at him.
Hi everyone. I have a SBTB related question. I am watching SBTB Wedding in Las Vegas. Screech is as annoying as ever. He just met Gilbert Gottfried who becomes his pimp. I’m wondering if this was ad libbed and Gilbert was pimping that hooknosed goblin out in real life? Also, does anyone know if Gilbert and Screech had a homoerotic relationship? I could see Gilbert butt slamming Screech while yelling at him in funny voices.
I am a huge fan of Carrot Top. I have masturbated nearly 5,000 times while watching the movie Chairman of the Board. I only wish he had been a huge muscle headed beefcake during the movie. I’ve fantasized about a muscular CT ripping noxious farts all over the place while doing muscle poses in a tiny g string during a body builder competition. He would flex all over the place and we’d see the outline of his tiny shriveled up beanbag through the thin fabric. The crowd would go crazy as CT turned around and flexed his ass cheeks. He would instantly be given first place and the remaining contestants would be told to go home. Afterwards I’d be out back by the dumpsters and CT would appear. He’d motion me over while bending forward and dropping his g string! As I penetrated his enormous buttcheeks he would clench them crushing my cock, flattening it completely. He would then rip ass before getting into a giant orange Monster truck and peeling out before driving off. Carrot Top is a god.
I first saw Carrot Top when he gave a performance at a college near where I was living in the mid-1990s. This was before he started using steroids. I remember him being a skinny guy with red hair and he was funny. There was a guy with him helping him organize his props during the show - I instantly recognized the assistant as Screech! After Carrot Top’s show, I went up to him to congratulate him on a terrific performance and also asked why Screech was there. Carrot Top said that Screech was interested in becoming a comedian after SBTB gets cancelled and that Screech had been working as his unpaid assistant for a couple months. Carrot Top then suddenly pulled out a little bell from his pocket. I assumed it was a prop and he was about to tell a joke. However, he rang the bell and then Screech walked over and then knelt down on the floor behind Carrot Top and leaned forward so that his hook nose was in Carrot Top’s ass crazy. Carrot Top then clenched his teeth and ripped a powerful and stinky 9-second fart in Screech’s face! Screech uttered, “Zoinks!” and then stood up. Carrot Top said, “That’s your lesson for today,” and then Screech walked away. After Screech was out of hearing range, Carrot Top said to me, “Can you believe that idiot thinks that inhaling my farts is teaching him to be a comedian? And that’s only a small part of his training- you should see what I do to him in my hotel room!” I relied that I didn’t want to know any more and then left the show and drove home. I heard that Screech was Carrot Top’s unpaid assistant for a few more months until he finally realized that Carrot Top was just using him to satisfy his own demented penis and ass needs.
Anus Goblin, I heard that during his training CT would make Screech eat a bowl of his orange pubes. He would then stand bare assed in front of Screech and make Screech do his “act” while CT ripped farts in his face from an inch away. He told Screech this would get him acclimated to life as a stand up.
I remember a strange episode during the New Class. By this time Screech was a bathroom attendant and Corky had become Mr. Belding’s assistant and Screech’s boss. One day Carrot Top visited and it was explained that he was Mr. Beldings nephew. During the visit he had to use the bathroom and went into the boys room where Screech instead of manning the bathroom as was his job instead was in a stall listening to a Walkman that had some of Slater’s greatest bathroom dumps on it, while also reading a comic book. Carrot Top not seeing anyone around took the opportunity to take a dump in the urinal then get out of there. Moments later Mr. Dewey came in and immediately noticed the turd in the urinal. He ran out of the bathroom and pulled the fire alarm evacuating the school. Screech didn’t even notice all the commotion with his headphones on, blasting Slater’s old farts and diarrhea sprays. Outside Mr. Dewey told Corky and Mr. B what he saw and they along with Carrot Top went back into the school and into the bathroom to find Screech and check out the turd. Corky kicked in the door to the stall Screech was in and began yelling at him for slacking while he was supposed to be attending to the bathroom. Screech yelled “Zoinks” about 50 times and he claimed he was doing bathroom research listening to a tape of farts. When Mr. B pointed to the turd in the urinal Screech yelled “double Zoinks” and said he would solve the case. He went to a locker he for some reason had for himself and pulled out a Sherlock Holmes outfit. He then went into the bathroom and using a magnifying glass examined the turd. He found that it had a red ass hair attached to it and that Carrot Top had done it. Realizing his nephew had taken the urinal dump Mr. B started laughing and said he and CT had set up the dump as a teat for Screech and he failed. Corky angrily agreed and kicked Screech in the back causing him to fly face first into the urinal. With his face mushed in CT’s dump Corky started flushing the toiled over and over while Mr. B ripped off Screech’s Zubaz and ridiculous Sherlock Holmes outfit. He and Corky began having a sword fight in Screech’s ass while Mr. Dewey and Carrot Top jerked off. Carrot Top also kept flushing the toilet and Screech’s massive Jew fro really did an amazing job soaking up the toilet water. Corky and Mr. B jizzed all over Screech as CT and Mr. Dewey jizzed on Screech as well. Mr. B then announced he was canceling the rest of the school day so he, Corky, Mr. Dewey and Carrot Top could all go to the Max for a snack. They then left Screech laying in the urinal. Before leaving Corky kicked Screech and told him he was writing him up for being a terrible unpaid bathroom attendant intern. Carrot Top sure for Screech good that time!
Crotchmaster, that was a fantastic guest star episode of the New Class. I remember when Jim Harbaugh made a guest appearance as Screech’s cousin while he was quarterback of the Indianapolis Colts. That was a ridiculous episode seeing as how Screech had never mentioned having an NFL QB as his cousin and Harbaugh looked like a normal man without a hook nose or curly Jew-fro like Screech possessed. It was far more realistic to have Carrot Top as Mr. Belding’s nephew. I distinctly remember Screech dressed in a ridiculous and ill-fitting Sherlock Holmes outfit when he pulled out a huge magnifying glass to inspect the turd. Screech came across as an even bigger douchebag than normal and deserved to have his poofy Jew-fro and head pushed into the urinal while being raped! When Carrot Top, Corky, Mr. B, and Mr. Dewey ate lunch at The Max afterwards, Carrot Top had everyone in stitches when he did some prop comedy jokes and pulled out a small Precious Moments figurine depicting Screech with his head in a urinal!
The other day, Corky and Mr. Belding were in A-Rod’s den eating deep dish “Meat Lovers” pizzas and drinking 2-liters of Mountain Dew. Mr. Belding and Corky entertained each other by repeatedly ripping nasty farts for an hour. A-Rod eventually returned home from shopping at Walmart and when he walked into the den, he quickly noticed that the den stunk of the stench of anus. A-Rod asked why it was so stinky and Corky replied that something was wrong with A-Rod’s air conditioner because he had stunk for the past hour. A-Rod saw the pizza boxes and said that Corky and Mr. Belding must have stunk up the room with their disgusting farts. A-Rod asked why Corky didn’t simply open the window to air out the room and get some fresh air inside. Corky replied that there were alligators in Florida and he didn’t want one coming through the window if he opened it. A-Rod pointed out that the den was on the third floor of his mansion and that alligators couldn’t climb the walls of the house. A-Rod also pointed out that Corky was constantly getting dumber and that he needed to pull down his sweatpants so A-Rod could fondle Corky’s dong. Corky got mad and said he wasn’t A-Rod’s servant. Corky then ass-raped A-Rod while Mr. Belding leaned to the side on the couch and ripped a 15-second fart in A-Rod’s face!
Corky was correct to worry about alligators. They are very crafty and fast creatures. I’m sure A Rod would be unhappy if one got into his house through a window. Instead of lecturing Corky maybe A Rod should invest in a few quality air purifiers, and make sure his hvac duct work is cleaned and has good quality filters. Instead he seems to want to whine a lot about the awesome smells Mr. B and Corky produce. I’d like to know what a guy worth hundreds of millions of dollars was doing at Walmart? Those stores carry inferior garbage that allow them to sell it at prices lower than other stores. I bet A Rod goes there to by Yankees underoos or something. Walmart is also always full of gigantic obese people riding those motorized carts, as well as plenty of other deranged weirdos. I wonder if that’s one of A Rod’s gay hookup spots? If so and Corky finds out A Rod is in for a beating.
Please everyone pray for the Yankees to win tonight. My man has been so sad the last few days. He hasn’t even been hungry for any deep dish pizza and his ass exhaust has gone silent. He told me if they lose we are immediately loading up my Geo Metro and heading out to our winter/holiday truck stops. Normally this would have me excited, but I know he will be sad and mopey and won’t shove his ass in my face while I drive if they lose tonight. So let’s go Yankees!
Bartman, the Yankees are choking - they are facing a superior team and will soon be bounced from the playoffs. Anthony Rizzo is going to want to sexually humiliate you in order to make himself feel better after they lose. You should expect him to rip a few epic and stinky wet farts in your face followed by rough anal. Hope you’re ready for it!
Ass Breath, I really hope you’re correct. This year Anthony has been very moody and has complained about how terrible Aaron Judge has been during the playoffs. I think it may be that NYC pizza has never truly satisfied him and he needs some true Chicago deep dish pepperoni pizza to get his spirts up. All the professional pepperoni fart champions hang out in Chicago and laugh at the inferior NYC pizza. I think getting together at Gino’s East with Pepperoni Pete, Steve Anus, David Dookie, and a few other world class fart champions would cheer him up and get him back to ripping farts in my face that nearly singe my eyebrows off! I’m going to load up the Metro so we can leave when he gets home. Hopefully I can talk him into heading to Chicago. Hopefully next years team is better. Does anyone think it would cheer Anthony up if we visited A Rod and Corky?
Barf, A-Rod reportedly does a lot of his shopping at Walmart and DollarTree. A-Rod took Corky to a DollarTree recently and Corky got so excited when he walked down the candy aisle that he instantly went Dookie and overflowed his diaper! A-Rod buys new diapers for Corky at Walmart so that he Candace a few bucks. But it is odd that someone worth hundreds of millions would spend so much time at Walmart instead of at upgrading to Target or Costco.
Oh happy fruity farty day! Anthony same home and told me he can “opt out” of his current contract with the Yankees! He said that depending on what happens we may be heading back to Chicago! He had stopped off at a Pizza Hut and downed two large meat lovers pizza’s before coming home. After telling me about the opt out he ripped one nasty fart right in my face! We then went out and held hands while skipping down the sidewalk! In the morning we will leave. We are planning on doing Thanksgiving at the Iowa 80 truckstop as usual. We will then likely head to Reno for Christmas. I’ll keep everyone informed of our whereabouts. If you run into us make sure to say hi and make sure to tell Anthony how much Chicago misses him!
Bartman, is your gay lover, Anthony Rizzo, really going to find another team willing to pay him more than the $16 million that the Yankees are due to pay him in 2023? I read that Chicago pizza places will ship frozen deep dish pizzas across the country which the recipient can heat up in their own oven. I’m sure that Anthony could order some deep dish pepperoni pizzas like this and then gobble one down. After digesting the pizza, I bet he could rip a heinous wet fart in your face! Maybe he could do sone commercials for Lou Malnati’s or Gino’s East on exchange for a steady supply of frozen pizzas shipped to him regularly?? Anthony could sit on your head and drop ass after each home game!
I would love to watch Corky and Mr. Belding give A-Rod a diarrhea hose down! The mere thought of Corky gorging kn greasy food and then pulling down his sweatpants and diaper and the pressing his bare ass up against A-Rod’s face before spraying diarrhea in A-Rod’s face like a fire hose is a huge turn-on! A-Rod needs to set up a live stream of this as I would certainly pay $0.25 to watch this and I’m a straight man! I’m sure than many gays would also pony up a quarter to watch this - A-Rod could make a few bucks off this!
Steve Anus, I’m typing this as I drive my Geo Metro and Anthony has his bare ass pressed to my head! Anthony will let his agent handle things but there is a good chance he will opt out. Then we can try and get back to Chicago! We tried goldbelly who shipped us pizza’s from Lou Malnati’s and Gino’s but they just aren’t the same when frozen and reheated. In the ass blasting department those frozen pizza’s were barely a step above the skinny NYC pizza. My man needs fresh deep dish pizza, and lots of it. Wejjeruduusuahhhene?op. Anything just ripped a bomb in my face! I nearly skidded the metro sideways! See you soon Steve!
A tidbit of inside info. After the game yesterday Brian Cashman tried to ask Anthony about his opt out status. Anthony loudly belched in his face and told him he had to get to Pizza Hut. I think Anthony did the right thing!
Bartman, you must have a crazy life with Anthony Rizzo. Your life was turned upside down when you tried to catch the ball in the 2003 playoffs and were blamed for the Cubs team’s choke that season. But after they finally won a World Series in 2016, you turned your life around and also found love in the form of Anthony Rizzo. You managed to pull a much younger man who loves greasy food and reportedly has an incredibly stinky diarrhea butthole! You are Anthony’s own personal fart receptacle and I’m sure that humiliating you by ripping nasty farts in your face is one of Anthony’s “slump busting” routines. Does your Geo Metro smell like an anus as a result of Anthony’s prolific farts? Has Anthony ever loaned you out to his teammates who are trying to bust out of their own slumps? If so, your services were badly needed during this postseason.
Steve, I’ll admit it was rough between 2003 and 2016. People regularly dumped trash in my yard and shit in my mailbox. But when the Cubs won the World Series that all changed. The Cubs decided to give me a ring, and while I was there meeting with Mr. Rickets and Theo Epstein Theo gave me a tour. When we got near the locker room I could hear earth shattering farts and smelled the stench of anus. I popped a boner instantly. Once inside we found Anthony there sitting in his underwear, devouring an enormous Gino’s East deep dish pepperoni pizza. We had an instant connection and I began crawling around on my hands and knees until I was directly behind him. I then began sniffing his ass like a dog, and he reciprocated by grunting and releasing an epic 9 second fart right in my face. Epstein called us “weirdos” and left. That very day I moved into his apartment and we’ve been inseparable ever since. To answer your question I only service Anthony’s P and A needs. We are spending the night in the bathroom of a rest stop on I-80 in Ohio. Tomorrow we will get to Chicago. I cannot wait for some rancid deep dish pepperoni farts.
The other day, Corky told A-Rod that they should go on a motivational speaking tour of colleges to tell stories about when he was a professional baseball player. Corky said that he would get up on the stage with A-Rod while A-Rod talks about baseball. A-Rod questioned why Corky would be on the stage with him. Corky replied that he motivated A-Rod to be a good baseball player and that it was about time he got the credit for it. A-Rod asked what the hell Corky was talking about and pointed out that he only met Corky after his career was over. Corky replied that A-Rod was an idiot. Corky then said that while A-Rod is telling his boring baseball stories which nobody cares about, Corky will be ripping farts in A-Rod’s face to entertain everyone. Corky also said that he would be paid 90% of the money for the gigs because he would be making everyone laugh and that A-Rod would get the rest of the money and would get to eat Corky’s farts as meals. Mr. Belding lifted his leg off A-Rod’s couch and expelled a 15-second burrito-fueled fart to show his support for Corky’s plan. A-Rod then said that the entire room smelled like a stinky butthole because of Mr. Belding’s disgusting fart and also said that Corky’s plan was as retarded as he is. A-Rod then grabbed Corky’s crotch and started to get his rocks off by groping Corky’s monster dong! Corky got mad at A-Rod for being such a fool and proceeded to ass-rape him to teach him a lesson!
A Rod is 100 percent LOSER. Corky has amazing ideas that could earn them big bucks and all A Rod seems concerned about is Corky’s massive dong. I for one would pay good money to see an A Rod and Corky speaking tour where Corky spent the entire time farting in A Rod’s face. I really would love seeing Corky pressing his bubble butt to A Rod’s stupid head and ripping giant blasts of noxious gas. I believe extra money could be earned if they allowed the audience to buy tickets to rip ass in A Rod’s face or urinate in his mouth.
S. Bartman, that is pretty messed up that you were treated like you were Screech simply because you tried to catch a foul ball which was near the stands. Were you gay before that incident or did you turn gay in an effort to take your mind off the game of baseball? Are Anthony Rizzo's farts the stinkiest one's you've ever deeply inhaled?
Ass Breath, thank you for the kind words. If Moises Alou hadn’t acted like a bitch after trying to make the catch in the stands none of this would have happened. The game would have just moved on like any other time a fielder tries to make a play on a foul ball and can’t. The game may have even turned out differently. But Alou made the entire game about that play when he threw a little temper tantrum. One day I hope to get to rip ass in his face.
I was treated like Screech for many years. I was not a gay man until I met Anthony. That pungent stink coming from the locker rooms instantly turned me flaming gay. Anthony treating me like any other fart receptacle made me finally feel normal and accepted. Us both having World Series rings also brought us closer together. When he accepted my Geo Metro and job as a food delivery person I knew I’d met my one true love. When he then began ripping ass in my face as I made my deliveries deepened that further. We do miss Screech though. As we spend part of the year visiting truck and rest stops we ran into Screech manning some bathroom many times. Anthony even peed on him once!
Steve Bartman, straight people will never understand what you do. Most straight people have been brainwashed into thinking that stinky anuses are gross and something to be avoided. Much of the gay community knows better. You know the pleasure of rubbing one out on a chilly night while your sexy lover is ripping warm stinky farts in your face!
Last night, Corky and Mr. Belding were watching “8 Mile” on Netflix which A-Rod was in his home office working. After the movie ended, A-Rod walked into the den to check on Corky. Corky told A-Rod how much he enjoyed the rap battle in the movie and Mr. Belding leaned to the side to rip ass to show his agreement with Corky. Corky then told A-Rod that he thought it would be fun to have a rap battle where contestants fart in each other’s faces instead of talking during the rap. Mr. Belding said that it was a great idea and lifted his leg to rip a 12-second wet fart to show his approval of Corky’s plan. A-Rod replied that Corky and Mr. B were a couple of morons. A-Rod also said that nobody wanted to go to bar to watch people fart in each other’s faces and that the bar would stink like a butthole. A-Rod then said that Corky needed shut his trap and pull out his enormous dong for A-Rod to grope. Corky got angry at A-Rod’s dismissive attitude and then threw A-Rod a beating followed by a raping!!
I am a policeman working in San Francisco. Although I was off duty at the time, I have heard whispers about shenanigans going on at the Pelosi mansion. Apparently, Paul Pelosi picked up a homeless man and offered him $50 to press his stinky bare ass up against his face and rip at ten farts. Mr. Pelosi provided deep dish pizza and several 2-liters of Pepsi to the man. However, after ripping 8 farts into Mr. Pelosi’s face, the homeless man was unable to produce any additional farts. Mr. Pelosi, who was wearing a Jew-fro wig and pink Zubaz at the time, got upset and told the homeless man to get the hell out of his house. Mr. Pelosi was waving a hammer during this incident. However, the homeless man refused to leave until he had been paid and grabbed the hammer during an altercation. Mr. Pelosi’s proclivity for hiring homeless men for sex is well-known to the SF police, so they performed a well-being check and caught him with the homeless man. The homeless man grabbed the hammer and hit Mr. Pelosi over the head with it. More details will emerge over time, but I searched for info on the incident and happened to come across this blog as there and many stories about similar behavior involving Screech and A-Rod posted here.
Paul does have a valid complaint as when you offer up cash for 10 farts 8 just doesn’t cut it! However, he should have known a skinny ass hippie wasn’t versed in the pepperoni fart world that Paul wants to be a part of. I also think Paul should have pro-rated for the 8 farts he did receive. It seems like playing it smart with a deranged homeless dude is better than getting wacked with a hammer. Paul would have been smart to have headed to one of the many gay bathhouses. They are so noxious you can smell dudes anus’s from 3 blocks away!
I used to live down the street from Paul Pelosi. Whenever Nancy was out of town (which was always) Paul had a non stop line of homeless dudes coming to and from his home all hours of the day and night. The entire block reeked of anus and one could hear a cacophony of farts and moans coming from the home. One time I was walking my dog and when we in front of the house I heard an enormous fart, followed by the front door opening and Paul falling down the front steps while wiggling around like a fish out of water. I’m pretty sure he was jizzing his Zubaz pants. Then some guys came out of the house and started pissing on him which seemed to give him exquisite pleasure. In many cities this would seem like extremely strange behavior. But in San Francisco it’s very normal.
Hey gang, I recently watched the infamous episode of Saved By The Bell where everyone forgot it was Screech’s birthday and he got really sad and depressed. Kevin the Robot found out and rolled several miles from Screech’s house to Bayside High School to let Zack and Mr. Belding know about it. So Mr. B had the cafeteria prepare a cake for Screech’s birthday the next day, but Screech complained that the cake was a day too late. Everyone thought that Screech was being really annoying and unappreciative, so they threw Screech into his own locker and locked him in while they ate the cake. Whenever Screech attempted to open the locker from the inside, Kevin used his metal claws as a stun gun, sending 20,000 volts to the metal locker door, causing Screech to utter, “Zoinks!” After a few minutes, Mr. Belding walked over to the locker and Screech assumed that his father figure was about to free him from his makeshift prison. Instead, Mr. Belding positioned his ass in front of a vent on the locker door and the ripped a heinous fart into the vent, filling the locker cavity with a stinky fart. Everyone at Screech’s party saw this and started laughing. Then Slater, Zack, Maxwell Nerdstrom, Ox, Scud, Jessie, Mr. Dewey, and Johnny Dakota took turns ripping ass into the locker vent, causing Screech to utter, “Zoinks!” repeatedly as everyone laughed hysterically! Eventually Kevin the Robot opened the locker to let Screech out. As Screech gasped for fresh air, Kevin extended his metal cock onto as Screech’s anus to “drain” his oil! While being sodomized, Kelly crouched down by Screech’s head to queef in Screech’s face. A potted plant then tipped over and Screech looked over and saw that Mr. Tuttle was hiding behind the plant while masturbating vigorously. Screech sure learned to be more appreciative on his birthday that time!
I live near the Pelosi mansion and can confirm everything which Pops says about their house. I used to go jogging through the neighborhood and there were always homeless men entering and leaving the mansion whenever Nancy Pelosi was away. They are married in name only and he enjoys the company of male prostitutes and the homeless. I remember one time when I was jogging down their block and saw Paul Pelosi playing what appeared to be a beanbag toss game with a homeless man. However, when I got closer, I discovered that they were each lobbing clumps of feces into the mouth of another homeless man who was lying on the ground 20 feet away. Perhaps if you are homeless, doodoo is a hearty meal? Then Paul and then homeless man stripped naked and started rolling around on top of each other on clumps of feces on the ground - it was an erotic mishmash of intertwined arms, legs, crotchets, and feces. I was quickly overcome by the stench of stale anuses, so I sped up to get away from those demented freaks!
I live a few houses down from the Pelosi mansion. It is a great place for a gay man to live - there is an endless supply of homeless men willing to do practically anything for a dollar! There is also human feces all over the place, giving our block a nice fragrance odor. I have a telescope pointed at the Pelosi mansion so that I can watch the shenanigans going on over there while I am in my house pleasuring myself! Last week I saw Paul Pelosi open his door to let a couple homeless bums into his house. As I later discovers, one of the bums was David Depape. Once inside the house, Paul Pelosi yanked off Depape’s pants while the other bum also pulled down his pants. Paul Pelosi must have some type of fart fetish, as I saw Paul Pelosi eating out Depape’s ass while the other bum kept farting loudly in Paul Pelosi’s face! The farts must have been wet because the windows quickly steamed up, so it got hard for me to see inside. Fortunately, I could still hear loud farts from where I was positioned in my house. After ten minutes, I heard a window break and then the police showed up. It was hard to determine what was happening, although I think that there was some type of dispute over price. I hope that Paul Pelosi heals quickly so that he can put on more performances for the neighborhood!
Last night, A-Rod walked into his den and noticed an awful stench. A-Rod asked what Corky and Mr. Belding were doing. They said that they were watching the World Series. Mr. Belding was wearing a baseball cap inside out, which he said was a rally cap because he was rooting for the Phillies. Corky chimes in that he didn’t have a baseball hat, so he was wearing his diaper inside out for good luck. A-Rod asked which team Corky was rooting for, and Corky relied that he was rooting for the Bears to score a goal. A-Rod replied that Corky was an idiot who didn’t even know who was playing in the World Series or how teams score. A-Rod then asked Corky to stand up and immediately saw that Corky’s diaper was full of urine. A-Rod asked Corky what the hell was wrong with him and why did he turn his diaper inside out if it was already full of piss? Mr. Belding told A-Rod that he could answer the question for Corky- Mr. Belding proceeded to lift his leg and then ripped a 12-second window-rattling fart! Corky started laughing and then told A-Rod to leave and stop being so annoying. A-Rod then ordered Corky to pull out his monster dong for A-Rod to fondle. Corky got mad and punched A-Rod in the balls! Corky then ass-raped A-Rod while Mr. Belding repeatedly belched and farted! After finishing with A-Rod, Mr. Belding called a limo service to take A-Rod to the airport so he could arrive in Philadelphia on time for the World Series postgame show!
I just saw an episode of “Pawn Stars” that Corky, A Rod, and Mr. Belding were on. A Rod was there to try and sell a Silver Slugger award of his and was asking for $50k. Mr. B and Corky stood behind him ripping ass and telling him he was a cheater and it wasn’t worth anything. In the end Rick offered him $15 which A Rod accepted. Before they were done Corky announced he had a few items to sell. First was one of his filthy, overflowing, diapers that he had autographed with a giant “X”. A Rod told Corky to stop wasting their time but Rick stepped in and asked Corky how much he wanted for it. Corky said $20 million dollars which made Rick laugh. Rick then offered Corky $500 which Corky accepted. He then pulled out a small glass jar that he said he and Mr. B had been farting into for a week. It was autographed by both he and the Big Bopper. He said he needed $50 million for it. A Rod said this was nonsense and no one wanted a jar of their farts. Rick told A Rod to shut the fuck up and offered to have a friend of his look at and appraise if. Corky agreed and while they waited he punched A Rod in the balls, and Mr. B stomped on A Rod’s foot. The expert was a really weird looking guy who was wearing Zubaz pants and had a giant hook nose. He began salivating over the jar and sniffed all around it. He asked Corky if he could open it briefly and Corky said ok but he and Mr. B would need to fart in it again. The weirdo opened it and the stench of anus instantly permeated the store. The expert took a deep breath then closed the jar. He then fell to the floor and began flopping around while jizzing himself. This annoyed Rick who told the guy he was being unprofessional. During this time both Corky and Mr. B ripped enormous farts into the jar to replenish what had been sniffed and released. By this time the expert had settled back down even though he had a massive jizz stain on his pants. Rick asked him what the value was and he said depending on how deranged his customer was it was worth anywhere from $2,000 up to $50,000. Rick offered them $1,000 which annoyed Corky and Mr. B leaned over the counter and belched in his face. Corky yelled something about $50 billion, but Rick then said he would give them $20,000 which made them happy and they accepted. A Rod then announced the store was absurd for paying him $15 for a major MLB award and then giving Corky piles of money for his diaper, and jar of farts. Corky looked at A Rod and told him no one liked him and he was lucky Rick gave him anything for his stupid award. He then punched A Rod in the throat before ripping off his Yankees pants and ass raping him. During this Rick and Chumlee jerked each other off, while Mr. B bent over and ripped a loud fart. Corky then settled up with the store and got his money which he generously split with his best buddy Mr. B. They then left A Rod laying on the floor while they went to Taco Bell for a snack and belching contest. A Rod sure learned the ins and outs of pawn stores that time!
Scat Man, I have only ever watched a couple episodes of Pawn Stars, but it certainly sounds as though Rick knew how to appraise those items. A-Rod cheated by using steroids to win his Silver Slugger award, so nobody cares about it. However, Corky and Mr. Belding are all-natural fat guys who produce nasty farts by eating fatty foods, so a jar of their farts is obviously highly valuable.
Corky should have taken apart A-Rod’s dresser, removed the sock drawer, and got that appraised. Corky and Mr. B have taken dumps in it many times and have also coated it with thick diarrhea sprays on a regular basis. That sock drawer must be worth millions as a unique piece of performance art!
Hi all, long time no see.
I was at the public toilets in the mall today to watch an ex baseball player shit in the mouth of his 80s headphone wearing lover. Me and a load of other dudes were cheering them on as Sam smiths’ ‘unholy’ was playing in the background.
However, just as things were getting wild, the toilets flooded full of diaorrhea and water, and I saw a ‘wet bandits’ sticker plastered on the cubicle door, over a poster of Howie D from BSB.
Surely it’s not that time of year again?
Scat and Larry, I used to work part time at the pawn shop in the show. I’m not surprised Rick was far more interested in Corky’s diaper and jar of farts. Although not advertised in any way it was known by the employees that there was a buyer for any doody or fart related merchandise as long as it was male only. For a long time the identity of the buyer was only known by his initials PP. one day Rick slipped up and said one of Mike Tyson’s turds which some guy had pulled out of a toilet after Mike forgot to flush in a Forum Shops bathroom was headed to “Paul” in San Francisco. Now I knew the first P was Paul, and he lived in San Francisco. Another time I was working the night shift and Louie Anderson came by to meet Rick. I heard a bunch of really loud farts, and then heard Rick say, “Nice job Louie, Mr. Pelosi will love this jar of farts”. Putting two and two together I now knew PP was Paul Pelosi, further confirmed by him living in San Francisco. The next day Rick had me package up a mason jar for shipping. I’m sure it contained Louie’s rancid farts. I’m willing to bet Corky’s diaper and jar of farts were purchased and sent off to Paul the next day. He seems to have an unlimited budget for buying dookie and farts. I wasn’t at all surprised last week when I saw Paul and his gay lover in some kind of deranged lovers quarrel. I wonder if they were fighting over Corky and Mr. B’s jar of farts? I’m guessing David DePape sniffed up far to much of the jars fart essence and angered Paul. In a state of ecstasy David went berserk and all hell broke loose. I hope this info helps guys.
I was a writer on Saved By The Bell: The New Class. Dustin Diamond mentioned me in the quote at the top of this post. Dennis Haskins and Dustin Diamond were close friends and developed an intense physical attraction while on the set. They were often hooking up and thought we weren’t aware of it for some reason. I can tell you how many times I walked past the men’s room on the set and heard loud butt-slamming! I remember a few times when Screech opened the bathroom door and the stench of both anus and semen filled the air. The gay gags we added to scripts were based on real-life incidents between Dustin Diamond and Dennis Haskins. I don’t know whether it is true, but I heard that Dustin, Dennis, and the guy who played Chief Pupako had a couple three-ways in Diamond’s hotel room while filming Saved By The Bell: Hawaiian Style!
My man opted out of his contract today. Just like I told you he would. As he was opting out he had his ass pressed to my face and ripped a rank fart so smelly an old lady 25 yards away crinkled her nose and made a mean face at us. We are already at the Iowa 80 truckstop and will be here through Thanksgiving. We will then head to Reno for Christmas! I’ve gotta get back to my Uber eats job. Anthony and I have to deliver a bunch of McDonalds. I’ve gotten a few complaints that the food I deliver stinks like ass but I see that as a plus!
Steve Bartman, why would anyone want to have McDonald’s delivered by Uber Eats? McDonald’s is inexpensive enough that the UberEats fees must practically double the price of the food. Are people really too lazy to go drive the mile or two to the McDonald’s nearest to them? Also, what has happened to McDonald’s French fries? I remember eating them when I was a kid and I really liked them, but now they make me feel sick if I eat many of them. I think it is highly likely that people order from UberEats and other delivery outfits knowing that many of the drivers are demented weirdos who are going to either jerk off onto the food or fart in it in order to “flavor up” the meal. A Big Mac sandwich which has the stench of Anthony Rizzo’s anus is a “Happy Meal” in my book!
Screech was so lucky that he got to act with Mr. Belding for so many years and must have made millions of dollars from doing so. Imagine how sweaty Mr. Belding must have gotten while filming scenes on warm days - one glance at Mr. Belding tells you that his balls and ass probably sweat profusely on warm days. Just think about how sweaty Mr. Belding’s underwear must have gotten on a hot day. Mr. Belding also ate quite a bit of greasy food, so I bet he was ripping ass left and right into his sweat-soaked underwear. Screech was clearly enamored with Mr. Belding and I have no doubt that Screech swiped Mr. Belding’s sweaty undies while Mr. B was in the Bayside shower rinsing off after a long day. Screech was so lucky that he had such easy access to Mr. B’s stinky underwear- I bet that those undies retained much of their original stench even 20 years later. Screech had a dream job where he got to sniff his hero’s sweaty underwear and probably also had the opportunity to eavesdrop on Belding taking smelly dumps and spraying diarrhea!
Ass Breath, thankfully people are extremely lazy. Especially millennials. They will order a few things from McDonalds, which is actually Uber Eats biggest customer, and will pay the Uber Eats fees, the 20 percent price increase McDonalds puts on its delivery orders, and my well deserved tip. It’s mostly laziness as they can’t be sure the will get the full service delivery experience I provide. But there are a few deranged weirdos that add “fart on food” or other requests on the app. When they get me they don’t even need to ask as Anthony rides shotgun and rips ass on every order. He also taste tests everything to make sure it’s good. Many customers don’t appreciate this part of the service and give me a bad review. But I don’t care at all. The appreciative people who enjoy their food smelling like a butthole more than make up for it. I get many 5 star reviews from them!
Steve Bartman, what color is your Geo Metro? Is it yellow and is the right passenger side door rusty? I heard that there was someone driving through Key West last December in a rusty yellow Geo Metro and that the front seat passenger was eating a box of Pizza Hut pizza while his pants were down and his bare ass was pressed up against the face of the driver of the car! Was that you and Anthony Rizzo or was it some other like-minded couple?
Last night, Corky told A-Rod we’re watching ESPN Sportscenter when Corky turned off the tv. A-Rod asked Corky why he had turned off the tv while they were in the middle of a program. Corky replied that the show was boring and that nobody cares whatever stupid sports they were discussing. Corky also said that he had a great idea for a new diaper which will make a lot of money. Corky explained that his new diaper has a big bag in the middle of the ass portion of the diaper. Mr. Belding chimes in and said it was like a pouch for holding extra doodoo. Mr. B also said that Corky’s invention would allow someone wearing a diaper to expel and additional half a cubic foot of doodoo into the diaper before it needed to be changed. Mr. Belding lifted his leg and ripped a nasty 13-second fart while describing the pouch to A-Rod. A-Rod replied that it was yet another stupid idea and then questioned whether Belding might be even more retarded than Corky. A-Rod asked why someone would be wearing a diaper which was filled with an extra half cubic foot of dookie. A-Rod then asked what Corky was learning in his potty training classes as Corky shouldn’t even be wearing a diaper by this point. A-Rod also said that it smelled like shit in the room because of Mr. Belding’s fart and that he needed to open a window and turn on a fan to get some fresh air into the room. As he stood up to open the window, A-Rod pretended to slip and fall onto Corky’s lap. A-Rod groped Corky, grabbing his monster dong when he pretended to fall into Corky’s lap! Corky got mad and called A-Rod a dirty faggot before viciously ass-raping him while Mr. Belding farted over and over!!
Hi everyone. I’m famous Anti American WNBA player Britney Griner. I’m on my way to a Russian work camp for the next 9 years. While on the way they let me use the internet to send one email or post one message. I chose this fine board to do so. I love reading about Corky’s antics! I’m hopeful that by posting here either Corky, A Rod, Mr. Belding, or even Steve Anus will take up my cause and get me outta here. I can’t even smoke no doobie! I’ve decided that for now I really like the US, and i miss cuddling in bed with my wife while watching SBTB. Many times I would queef in her face while watching Mr. Belding ass rape Screech. I remember an old episode where the Russians came to play chess and Screech beat them. Afterwards Mr. B shoved the chess trophy up Screech’s ass while Kevin the robot shocked Screech is hairless bean bag. I told my captors about this and they got angry because Screech won, and told me that was just western propaganda. They then locked me in a small cell and repeatedly farted into it. They said at the work camp I’ll be pulling a cart like an ox or a donkey normally would do! All I want to do is come home and refuse to stand for the national anthem! Please send help.
Britney, I don’t have the pull to get you out of prison. My influence extends only to people who enjoying sniffing farts and watching fart competitions in a room which reeks of the stench of anuses. But I do want to ask you about your prison cell. Do
You just have a slot where the guards slip you your food? It is pretty hot thinking about them opening the slot but instead of providing a tray of food, they instead press their bare asses against it to rip wet farts into your cell!
Where I was held during my initial trial and appeal there was a door with a food slot. Many times to torture me the guards would belch and fart into it. They even brought in some really fat guys who would sit outside my sell while gorging themselves on borscht and all kinds of salty fish dishes. They would drink vodka and some kind of carbonated drunk, then they would belch and fart into my cell for hours on end. They also made me watch SBTB the New Class 24/7 and had the volume up all the way. It was absolute torture.
Today Corky was watching TV and found out that the crypto company FTX went bankrupt and they had named the stadium where the Miami Heat play and more importantly where Corky goes to see events like “Carebears on Ice”. When Corky found out the stadium would need a new sponsor he ran to A Rod and told him A Rod needed to get on the phone and get Corky brand diapers as the new name for the stadium. He said he and Mr. B had already designed the logo which had Corky taking a massive dump into one of his diapers, while A Rod lay beneath the diaper with his mouth open while sporting a tiny erection. A Rod said the idea was one of Corky’s dumbest yet as no stadium would want to be named after a retarded persons diaper company. He then said there was no way that any sports team would want some retard with a massive dong crapping into a diaper in the side of the stadium. He also said he had no idea why he was laying under the diaper. At this Mr. B leaned off his chair and ripped a 13 second fart to express his disapproval. Corky then said A Rod was a turd Goblin who was trying to gobble up his massive dump, but the Corky brand diaper prevented him from getting his perverted rocks off. At this Mr. B let loose a 19 second belch to support his best buddy. A Rod said he wasn’t calling anyone with such a ridiculous idea, and since Corky had no money he wasn’t about to pay millions of dollars for some stupid branding idea that showed him trying to eat a turd. Corky then punched A Rod right in the balls causing him to fall over. Corky then stomped on A Rod before giving him some hot anal sex. After jizzing on A Rod Corky dangled his ass over A Rod’s face and let loose a monster shit, which A Rod gobbled up like a starving dog. Corky then said he’d made his case and Mr. B came over and ripped a 8 second wet fart in A Rod’s face. Corky and Mr. B then went off to get some snacks and continue working on their design to the stadium logo.
Hey guys. You may know me as weirdo SBF who on Monday was worth $16 billion and today is worth $0. I have to say I somewhat blame myself. You see while trying to run a large crypto company with me weirdo friends I grew addicted to watching the erotic episodes of SBTB. Day and night I would watch Mr. Belding, AC Slater, Zack, Zack’s Dad, Milo the Janitor, Kevin the Robot, Hound Dog, Mr. Dewey, Coach Rizzo, Coach Sonski. Ox, Scud. Mr. Carosi, and dozens of others teach Screech lessons that seemed to always involve ass slamming him against his will. During this period I felt like I became Screech and would hire obese men to fart in my face and shit in my sock drawer. I even had a robot built that I named Kevin who would sodomize me before draining his oil into my ass. Unfortunately all this fun distracted me from running my company. I grew my hair into a nice jewfro and wore Zubaz pants 24/7. I let two weird twins who had guitars and said they were in some retards band run everything. It wasn’t until last weekend I found they had looted much of the company, abandoned ship, and tipped off my biggest competitor, who took advantage of their scheme to undermine and destroy my business. I’ve learned now that living like Screech leads to bad things. I will likely move back to the US and suck off homeless dudes for nickels. Please learn from my story.
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