Queer Posts From "How to be Punk" Forum

I found these hot spank-worthy posts in a forum entitled "How to be Punk":

Barf said May 7, 2020 @ 6:48 am
I spray painted my pubes different colors before I head out to the parks and dumpsters to have hot man love. That makes me one badass punk. I even spray painted my asshole so when I fart I shoot orange tinged gas balls in my lovers faces. It’s highly erotic and a big part of punk life!


Dude with Genital Warts said May 6, 2020 @ 3:07 pm
One of my buddies lives in Chicago. Apparently it is a well-known fact that Cubs first baseman Anthony Rizzo is in a gay relationship with Steve Bartman, the dorky Cubs superfan who tried to catch a baseball in the 2003 playoffs and helped instigate an epic Cubs collapse. Anyway, my buddy said that Rizzo and Bartman were seen frolicking around the city over the weekend - Anthony was wearing his Cubs uniform and Bartman was wearing the same outfit and big headphones he wore to the 2003 playoff game. Apparently they were holding hands and skipping through Lincoln Park without wearing masks as Anthony was holding a deep dish pepperoni pizza from Giordano's. They stopped in front of Lincoln Park Zoo and then Anthony started eating the pizza. Then they started to passionately make out. At one point, Anthony Rizzo pulled down his uniform pants and ripped a wet and heinous-smelling pepperoni fart right in Bartman's face! Bartman then fell over and jizzed and shit his pants while moaning in ecstasy! Rizzo then pissed on Bartman while again ripping a 75 dB pepperoni fart!!! I'm surprised that those two freaks aren't arrested for engaging in dangerous acts of sodomy during the Coronovirus lockdown!


Carbon Fiber said May 6, 2020 @ 1:18 am
I can’t believe how the US has been overrun with queers during this pandemic. While everyone is staying home in order to slow the spread queers have taken advantage of this to take over society and engage in various disgusting behaviors. Now that some areas are relaxing the shelter in place rules we are finding that our beloved parks, as well as all other outdoor areas, have been taken over by demented queers frolicking about. I was hiking on the Appalachian trail last weekend and there were tens of thousands of deranged queers playing nude leapfrog, pissing and shitting on each other, and having hardcore buttsex. I barely could hear any normal nature sounds over the cacophony of farts. The stench was overwhelming. I left and went to a local park where I found more of the same. I’m truly hoping President Trump takes back our country from these demented queers!


Dude with Genital Warts said May 5, 2020 @ 2:00 pm
I live in Los Angeles and took my car for a drive through McArthur Park over the weekend. That park is notorious for the homeless bums and vagrants who live there, but it is reasonably safe to drive past during the daytime. As I drove around the park, I saw two gay guys who were in the nude and were doing some type of leapfrog game where they would take turns jumping up and leaping over each other. I also realized that they would rip loud farts during this exercise and seemed to time their farts to be realized at the moment they finished a leapfrog and their bare ass was right in the face of the other! It was really strange and neither of them were wearing any type of mask. After doing several leapfrogs, they both ran up to a homeless man who appeared to be trying to sleep and they each ripped ass in his face! I know that Los Angeles is gay-friendly, but this was far too extreme and dangerous in the time of the Coronavirus.


Hank said May 5, 2020 @ 6:41 am
Guys, today I was in Miami Gardens Park when I was accosted in the bathroom by a black guy who told me he was Michael Jordan. He asked if I wanted to “hit up a stall” with him. I was hesitant as I’m not a gay man, but this was Michael Jordan! He was even wearing one of his legendary Chicago Bulls jerseys. We hit up a stall and he pulled down his pants and blasted a fart in my face. He then began sucking me off and begging for me to jizz on his head, and pass gas in his mouth! Now I’m not gay, but I have to say I enjoyed it and blew a massive load on his head. I then blasted a fart into his mouth which made him fall to the floor moaning and groaning in pleasure, while also jizzing his pants. We then parted ways. I now believe I may have been tricked as I googled Michael Jordan and found he’s 6’ 6 where this guy was about 5’2. This guy also weighed about 300 pounds. Do you guys think I hooked up with the real Michael Jordan? He did make a nice shot of a paper towel into a garbage from like 5 feet away!


David Dookie said May 5, 2020 @ 4:47 am
Gary, you sound very homophobic! Instead of being disgusted by those gentlemen’s loving activities you should have opened your mind and joined in! Right now there is nothing more erotic then huffing a Cornoavirus fart. It is more moist and flavorful then a regular fart. You might have learned this, and experienced some hot man action had you not been so judgmental.


Gary said May 4, 2020 @ 2:10 pm
I was driving across Nevada a couple weeks ago when I stopped at a rest area in Reno because I had to take a leak. I walked into the men's room and encountered some demented weirdos! There was some type of commotion in one of the stalls and I looked down and saw that there were two pairs of legs in that stall. I also heard a loud fart followed by some moaning. After the fart, I heard someone say, "Yeah, smell that Coronvirus fart you FAGGOT!" I then heard the heard the toilet seat fall and heard what sounded like the two men sitting down to share the same toilet seat. As I was finishing pissing at the urinal, I heard a bunch of splashes of feces being expelled into the toilet water accompanied by some heinous farts. The entire bathroom smelled like an anus by this point, so I quickly washed my hands and got out of there to continue on my way.


Blue Balls said May 4, 2020 @ 7:38 am
I am so happy to see how quickly this fine board is queering up. I’ve already lost a few loads since it changed to 100 percent gay. In these troubled times where only rabid queers roam the outdoors those of us who are into safety need venues like this to find hot spank material. My partner Raul and I have been reading these stories to each other while jerking each other off!


CORkY said May 3, 2020 @ 9:15 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVcbY3Tf_TE

DiS i CoRKY. I waS PunK. NOw I MAKe A ROd Mi BiTCH!


The Big Bopper said May 3, 2020 @ 6:56 pm
I was driving along Venice Beach the other day and happened to look over and saw a couple guys tonguing each other's anuses right on the walking path. So many regular people are holed up in the homes and the deviants have free reign to engage in sodomy in public places right now. There was another guy with a huge Jew-fro standing near those two and his pants were down as he was masturbating vigorously.


Kim Jong Un said May 3, 2020 @ 12:18 pm
I am alive. Please send Dustin “Screech” Diamond to North Korea so he may service my every penis and ass need. I believe this may help bring peace between our countries.


Fart Goblin said May 3, 2020 @ 9:28 am
I’m in Troy and I just sucked a coronavirus fart from the ass of a dude dressed as He Man. It was so f’n erotic!


Pig Pen said May 2, 2020 @ 12:12 am
Fellow queers, I just rolled into Troy in my big rig. You wouldn’t know the coronavirus is even happening here! There are dudes buttslamming each other everywhere. No one is wearing a mask, and I doubt safety protocols allow for one dude to tongue another dudes anus! The dumpsters are all being set up and I’m headed to Pizza Hut to grab a few deep dish pepperoni pies. That should give me plenty of noxious ass gas, as well as get me ready to spray diarrhea. I saw a guy who had a giant poofy jewfro. He was wearing Zubaz pants. A Mexican guy in acid washed jeans was pissing in said jewfro. I can’t be sure but it was either the actor who played “screech” in saved by the bell or someone who looks a lot like him. Everyone who can should head to Troy!


ROCCO said May 1, 2020 @ 6:05 pm
I hope everyone here is aware that in Ohio the only city not on lockdown is Troy. The cities nearly 100 percent queer population would never forgo their gay festivals and dumpster parties because of a silly little virus. Most already have numerous virus’s floating around their bodies anyway. So if you’re looking for a hot hookup head to Troy. This weekend spring weather should make things really nice for “Dumpsterpalooza” where dozens of construction dumpsters will be attached end to end and thousands of horny queers will go to town on each other. I have heard legendary pepperoni fart champion Steve Anus will he in attendance! I was thrilled when I saw he posts on this board!


andrew said May 1, 2020 @ 4:14 pm
(_))======D ~~~~ O=

<3 br="">

Steve Anus said Apr 30, 2020 @ 11:16 pm
This website has a great guestbook- I’m glad I found it recently. I’ve already lost three loads reading the hot gay fantasies posted here while pleasuring myself. Thanks guys! 😘


British Bulldog said Apr 30, 2020 @ 3:53 pm
Hey Zackie-Boy, why don't you lick the shit out of a pregnant goat's arsehole, you steaming pile of putrid pigshit.


Gay Zack said Apr 29, 2020 @ 2:06 pm
So I met Dustin Diamond at a bar, he was asking me if I knew where he could buy an 8 ball of coke. I told him I could probably hook him up if we went back to my place. We got home and I offered him a nice stiff drink, which he slammed down. I called up a guy that I fuck sometimes and told him that Dustin Diamond needed an 8 ball of coke. He dropped it off, while Dustin downed a few more drinks. During that whole time Dustin and I got to talking about chess and his comedy, I really think we hit it off. He asked me if I would have a problem if he smoked some in my house. I said it was cool. He took out a little cloth bag that had a glass pipe that looked just like a penis. He kind off smiled when he saw that I noticed the penis pipe. He lit up and smoked and offered me some. I refused so he smoked more. After a while he sat by me and started to make out with me. He shoved his tongue down my throat and began to stroke my now fully erect cock. He took my pants off and began to suck my off. He got naked and put his ass up to my mouth and I gave him a Russian trombone. I made him cum all over the floor, than I put my cock deep inside his ass and pounded him like I’ve never pounded before. He let out a whimper like a little puppy as I slowly took my cock out and penetrated deeper. We fucked all night long until he started having trouble getting hard, so he said he needed more coke. He dumped some on my cock and began to snort it off, than licked off the rest. He slammed down some tequila and began rimming me. I asked him to hold on and I went into the bathroom and changed into my Screech outfit. When I went back out he instantly got hard and began pounding me to the point that shit leaked out of my ass. He got on the floor and asked me to let my juices flow on his stomache. I took a big runny shit all over his stomach, than I started to let it drip on his face and goatee. He stroked his dick until he came, while he also fingered his ass. The whole room smelled of coke, cum and shit – it turns me on just thinking about it. We stayed up all night and in the morning we took a shower together. He left and told me he would call me next time he was in town. I’m sure he says that to all the guys, but even if he doesn’t return, at least we had that one beautiful night of homo erotic pleasure that gets me hard and dripping every time I think of it.


Kurtis said Apr 29, 2020 @ 2:02 pm
Does anyone here fantasize about Dustin "Screech" Diamond? I want to fire my seed down his throat and take a dump in his Jew-fro!