Thursday, May 10, 2007

Even More Spank-worthy Posts From!

29th April 2004 - 08:34:46 AM
7266 : greg
i, too, would love to take a dump on mr. dustin diamond's chest. then i would smear my excrement all over his torso and use his shit covered chest as a canvas and write my name in it by taking a piss on him. once i've done that, i would then projectile vomit all over his crotch and wipe my ass with his poofy hair.

11th April 2004 - 01:46:55 AM
7051 : Benny
Hello Mr. Diamond, it is me Benny again. I waited and waited and waited but you have still not answered my last couple questions. I am a bit disappointed but that is OK I am still a fan of yours and I know you are busy working overtime at Burger King so I will ask a couple more questions while I wait again. Yesterday my friend told me that you are a fan of Super Mario Bros. and that you went to see the filming of the live action movie starring Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo and that you met them, is that true? Is Mr. Leguizamo really as unfunny as his live shows unintentionally make him out to be? Is it true that Mr. Hoskins insisted on carrying you around on his shoulders when he gave you a tour of his dressing room, even though you were like 15 yrs old at the time? Did you feel weird when he made you dress up as Luigi and had you jump around on his naked lap? When you ran out of the place screaming, did Dennis Hopper really try to lure you into his dark rundown van with candy and soda pop? Is it true that you accepted his offer and where never seen again for 6 whole weeks?

09th April 2004 - 08:10:31 PM
7021 : a young child
I remember one time at fashion camp Dustin Diamond came up behind me and pulled my shirt over my head. He pushed me to the ground and jumped on top of me. He took 3 pairs of handcuffs out of his rear pocket. He used one pair to bind my hands, another for my feet, and the last one to bind my hands and feet together.
Dustin Diamond then ripped off all of my clothes including my new shirt and silk briefs. He put his mouth on my penis and masturbated me for a minute or two and then he turned me around on the ground. Dustin Diamond then disrobed himself and lay down on top of me. He inserted his penis in to my anus. I couldn't believe what the fuck was going on. Dustin Diamond was fucking me in the ass!
He continued to fuck me in the ass. I counted every second of it. After 27 seconds he ejaculated inside of me. I was mortified. The worst part was that my new shirt was ripped and I didn't even reach orgasm!

24th March 2004 - 10:26:01 AM
6862 : Benny
Hello Mr. Diamond, it is me Benny again. Unfortunately you have not answered any of my last questions which disappoints me but I know you are busy touring the nightclubs trying to make a couple extra bucks because I heard that you hold a steady job at Burger King which doesn't pay much, is that true? Supposedly on your first day on the job you were assaulted by the manager who just so happened to be the gay comedian Andy Dick, is that true? My friend says Mr. Dick pulled out his cock and told you to suck it and said it was part of your training but you wouldn't suck it so he bent you over the counter and raped you using mayonnaise as lubrication and when he climaxed in your butt he said that now you know what the secret ingredient in the special sauce is, is that true? I heard that you tried to press charges the next day only to find out that Andy really didn't work there and had pulled a fast one on you by showing up to your job dressed as a BK manager, is that true too? Does that mean his salty semen really isn't the secret ingredient in the special sauce?

19th March 2004 - 06:58:52 AM
6818 : Benny
Hello Mr. Diamond, it is me Benny again. I just wanted to ask a couple more questions before you answer my last ones because I just heard something else from my friend right now. He says that you were once up for a role in The Goonies is that true? Supposedly you would have played either "Mouth" the role that went to Corey Feldman, or you would have played "Data" that was played by that one Asian kid who quickly disappeared and I think was shipped back to China in a box marked "return to sender". I was told that the only reason why you didn't get the role was because you wouldn't sleep with the writer Chris Columbus who went on to become a director and slept with Michael Jackson's former bed buddy Macaulay Culkin while making Home Alone, is that true? Would you sleep with him now if it meant you would get a role in one of the new Harry Potter films?

11th March 2004 - 04:15:46 PM
6726 : Benny
Hello Mr. Diamond, it is me Benny again. Thank you for taking time to answer my last message and I am sorry to hear about what Carrot Top did to you when you were younger. But I was also wondering about something my friend said about you. He said that you used to be friends with Jonathan Brandis who was on the TV show SeaQuest DSV as well as in that Rodney Dangerfield movie Ladybugs where he dressed as a female soccer player. My friend says that one time you spent the night over at his place when you were young teens and when you fell asleep you woke up to find Jonathan trying to penetrate you and you freaked out and shit all over yourself, which provided the lubrication needed for Jonathan to fully penetrate your tight butt. To add insult to injury, he then made you eat your bloody shit off his Star Wars bedsheets, is that true? Do you miss him now that he has committed suicide because he didn't get the role of Anakin in the new Star Wars trilogy? Do you even like Star Wars?

08th March 2004 - 01:08:34 PM
6687 : Mr. Diamond
Yes, Benny, I do love to eat M&Ms, especially after I've shoved them up some little boys tight butt with my thumbs, which have grown fat from years of playing Nintendo games. Thank you for your interest!

08th March 2004 - 07:50:14 AM
6683 : Benny
Hey Mr. Diamond it is me Benny again, how are you? You still haven't replied to my last message but that is okay, I know you are busy and plus I still have a few more questions. For instance I heard that you once went to a Carrot Top show and was invited backstage and got to shake hands with Carrot Top, who you idolize. He invited you to his dressing room and he let you play his Nintendo which was new at the time, and while you were playing it on his floor he snuck up behind you and stuck his cock into your afro and you turned around and he forced you to suck him off, is that true? I also heard that when he was done with you he threw a pack of M&Ms at you and told you to leave and not tell anybody what happened or else he wouldn't give you anymore M&Ms the next time you came to see him. I also heard that you didn't really suck him off but that he sucked you off and he even filmed it, including the part where he shoved M&Ms up your butt with his thumb. I guess what I am asking is, do you really like M&Ms?

02nd March 2004 - 11:48:05 AM
6591 : Benny
Hey Mr. Diamond, again I want to mention that I am a big fan and that I think you are very funny and I am sorry to hear about what Bob Golic did to you backstage during the college years when he forced himself inside you. Also, is it true that you were raped by Ralph Macchio as well while visiting him on the set of The Karate Kid Part 2? I heard that he lured you into his trailer by promising to introduce you to Pat Morita, who you admired, but when you stepped into the trailer, Ralph did that special kick move to your lower spinal cord area and you were momentarily paralyzed as he bound your arms behind your back with his black belt and shoved his headband into your mouth to muffle your girlish screams of pain?

27th February 2004 - 06:49:53 AM
6520 : Benny
Hey Mr. Diamond, I once heard that actor Bob Golic (Mr. Rogers on SBTB college years) actually raped you in real life in his dressing room and emptied the contents of his nut sack deep into your tight scrawny butt, is that true?

I'm not sure it this one is from Diamond's guestbook, but it sure is hot!

Screech, remember how a different actor played Zack's dad in Saved By The Bell than the one who played his dad in Good Morning Miss Bliss?

Is it true that both of Zack's dads showed up on the Saved By The Bell: Hawaiian Style set and spit roasted you and then threw you in an active volcano? Has anyone else heard this rumor? I read it on a bathroom stall the other day.

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