Old posts from DustinDiamond.com (part 11)

19th April 2004 - 11:06:30 PM
7157 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, we need to hook up for gay sex. First, I'll sit on your head and drop my nuts on top of your eyes, giving you "Arabian goggles." Next, I'll teabag you and give you a "hot lunch." Then I'll give you a golden shower - my wizz will clean you up. Finally, you can suck me off and I'll give you a "cold lunch"!!!

- Kurt Steinberg

18th April 2004 - 09:21:15 PM
7150 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond,

My affinity for your cornhole has started to wane - I think I may have turned straight last night! I hooked up with a hot, older German lady visiting my city on business and I didn't think about losing my load on your neatly trimmed beard once! Please queer up this website a little more and help me to turn full-blown "Liberace gay" once again!

- Kurt Steinberg

18th April 2004 - 04:46:26 PM
7146 : Kurt Steinberg
Josh Simmons, thanks for the post! I lost a few loads when I read it. I thought I was the only one with a TV screen coated with my man-juice - apparently I was wrong! Twice a week I have to use a windshield scraper to clean off the new coats of loads on the screen - otherwise everything on the screen is really blurry!!!

- Kurt Steinberg

15th April 2004 - 11:52:53 PM
7116 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, did you ever have a Rubek's Cube when you were growing up? Do you remember the smaller ones that were sold on keychains? I invented a new game using the Rubek's Cube! The rules are simple - you need to get naked and then I'll lodge the keychain Rubek's Cube in your ass!!! If you can't remove the Rubek's Cube within 5 minutes, I win!!! The final part of the game involves you sucking me off! Doesn't that sound like fun? It's always been a queer fantasy of mine!!!

- Kurt Steinberg

14th April 2004 - 11:49:02 PM
7103 : Kurt Steinberg
Princess Peussie, why are you still posting here? Your posts are stupid and shockingly unfunny - are you on drugs when you post? Also, your posts are all off-topic. As I have said many times before, if you aren't a male homosexual, you probably shouldn't post here. There are three reasons to post:
(1) to tell Diamond how much he sucks;
(2) to exchange queer Diamond-related fantasies; and
(3) to attempt to schedule gay sex with Diamond (has Diamond ever filled any of these "orders?").

Diamond, please pencil me in for a "hot lunch" next to the dumpster behind the gas station off Vine in West Hollywood.

- Kurt Steinberg

14th April 2004 - 11:41:54 PM
7101 : Kurt Steinberg
Alex is correct. Obviously this website is a parody. The ICANN arbitrator agreed - that's why Diamond wasn't able to gain possession of this domain. Anyone who takes this website seriously needs to relax. By the way, there's simply no way that Dustin Diamond has so many perverted gay fans. People just post queer fantasies here because they are so shocking that they're funny!

- Kurt Steinberg

14th April 2004 - 10:00:51 AM
7085 : Kurt Steinberg
Laponian Anti-Imperialist Alliance for Freedom (message 7084), thanks for the great Marxist post. Let's get together for perverted gay sex! I will take a dump directly into your mouth and then give you a golden shower! I'll be sure to eat some tacos before we hook up so that I'll have diarrhea!!!

- Kurt Steinberg

12th April 2004 - 10:40:56 PM
7069 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, when is your next birthday? The queers on this board should throw you a bukkake birthday party!!! I envision that Benny, Ham Span, Gwando, Leaky Ass Queer, Fagbusters, Belding, Slater, and I will take turns blowing our loads on you!! So what do you think? Are you up for it???

- Kurt Steinberg

11th April 2004 - 11:44:58 PM
7059 : Kurt Steinberg
"Remember when" guy, how about a recap of the episode where Diamond dressed up as Zack and took Belding's daughter to Kelly's birthday party?

Thanks for the links, poster of message 7057! I lost a couple loads while looking at the pictures of Slater. I also clicked on the Belding page linked the the Slater page - I lost a couple more loads when I saw the picture of Belding with the "70s porn star" moustache!!!

- Kurt Steinberg

10th April 2004 - 06:11:03 PM
7044 : Kurt Steinberg
Goldberg, are you going to bring back the Dustin Diamond "forem"? I thought it was funny.

- Kurt Steinberg

10th April 2004 - 02:01:00 AM
7035 : Kurt Steinberg
Goldberg, I saw that you successfully defended yourself against Diamond's efforts to take possession of this website. I have to give you credit for not backing down in the face of pressure from Diamond's attorneys when they apparently tried to strongarm you into relinquishing the domain name.

Hopefully you'll keep this domain up for years to come.

By the way, I must respectfully disagree with your characterization of Diamond's attorneys as "slick" and "high priced". They appear to be anything but. I think that they should know better than to make a bald assertion that you offered to sell the website for $1800 without ANY support. There are certainly ways to provide some support for that claim, but they didn't do what I would have done (and no, I'm not going to tell them what they should have done - I'm not going to do their legal work for them). They probably filed their brief and hoped that you'd get scared and just give them the domain name.

- Kurt Steinberg

10th April 2004 - 01:34:52 AM
7034 :
max, thanks for changing the main page again. i like how it no longer says that it is the "ultimite dustin dimaond fan page". do you win your proceeding with the ICANN people?

if you want your guestbook to truly seem like a "free speech forum," wouldn't make sense not to have a guestbook moderator? if there's no moderator, then you really aren't controlling any of the content posted here.

10th April 2004 - 01:22:32 AM
7033 : Kurt Steinberg
What's with all of the assholes posting under my name? You didn't fool anyone - unlike you retards, I actually know how to correctly spell my own name!

Let's hook up and I'll show you what the real Kurt Steinberg is like. I'll eat some tacos and then sit on your face and drop ass. Next, I'll get naked and position your nose directly under my asshole and then spin myself around like a top. Finally, I'll drop a warm, watery Cleveland Steamer on your chin!!!

- Kurt Steinberg

09th April 2004 - 01:01:53 AM
7013 : Kurt Steinberg
Goldberg, thanks for the offer, but I'll have to decline to be your guestbook moderator. I'm too busy meeting strange dudes as gas station bathrooms and playing homoerotic Saved By The Bell role-playing games!!!

Maybe you shouldn't have a moderator. If you do end up with a moderator, I hope that person doesn't delete all of the queer fantasies that have been posted here.

- Kurt Steinberg

06th April 2004 - 01:51:19 AM
6976 : Kurt Steinberg
Chachi, maybe "Not Kurt" and I should really show you what teabagging is! I'll even reverse-teabag you and drop a piping-hot Cleveland Steamer on your chest!

- Kurt Steinberg

03rd April 2004 - 05:50:16 PM
6956 :
Max Goldberg, please link a .pdf copy of Diamond's complaint (with exhibits) for all to see.

I still don't see why Diamond focuses most of the complaint on trademark infringment. Your First Amendment/parody defense definitely has merit. Hopefully you and Diamond can reach a settlement whereby you maintain ownership of this website and you add a hotlink to Diamond's actual homepage (if he ever gets one).

03rd April 2004 - 12:05:42 AM
6951 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, please don't take your website down again! You fooled and disappointed all of your queer fans yesterday - many of them were forced to find a Belding fan site because wanking material wasn't available here.

"Remember when ..." guy, please post a recap of the episode where Screech dresses up as an alien to fool the alien investigator from the Air Force! As you recall, in one of the scenes, Screech goes to sleep with Zack in Zack's bed.

- Kurt Steinberg

02nd April 2004 - 12:30:56 AM
6944 :
Goldberg, I read your Answer to Diamond's complaint - I had a good laugh! I have some thoughts regarding Diamond's complaint (note that I am not giving you legal advice - these are merely my thoughts):

Diamond's name probably has acquired limited secondary meaning with respect to chess-related videos. However, you have not committed trademark infringement - Diamond's Complaint evidences a fundamental misunderstanding of trademark law. You aren't selling anything confusingly similar to Diamond's chess videos. Since you aren't selling or offering to sell ANYTHING, you can't be infringing Diamond's trademark/trade name.





01st April 2004 - 11:20:53 PM
6943 : Kurt Steinberg
Max Goldberg, you played a good practical joke! I initially fell for it and believed that your website had been confiscated by the government. You put a big scare into all of Diamond's homosexual fans (where else would they find queer SBTB-related fantasies???)!

- Kurt Steinberg

30th March 2004 - 10:45:30 PM
6930 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I have to give you props for the way you handled Matthew Perry! That dude is such a faggy bitch! Someone should take a dump on his head!

- Kurt Steinberg

30th March 2004 - 10:36:45 PM
6929 : Kurt Steinberg
Article re: Diamond (from http://www.anecdotage.com/index.php?aid=3310)

Dustin Diamond & Matthew Perry

Dustin Diamond (famed for his role as "Screech" on "Saved by the Bell") once spotted "Friends" star Matthew Perry in a Los Angeles restaurant. Having briefly worked with him in the 1980s, Diamond approached Perry and said hello. When the actor failed to recognize him and rudely turned away, Diamond explained that he had played "Screech" on "Saved by the Bell." "Good for you," Perry replied, before turning back to his friends.
Some time later, Diamond attended NBC's 75th Anniversary bash, where he happened to spot Matthew Perry once again. Again he said hello and again he was snubbed. Diamond, who was carrying a tube of Vicodin for a sore tooth, also spotted "SNL" star (and friend) Jimmy Fallon being hounded by autograph-seekers. As a joke, he approached Fallon pretending to be a fan. Then, producing his tube of Vicodin, he asked whether Fallon would sign it. Fallon laughed and agreed that it was a funny gag. Thus inspired, Diamond approached Perry, produced the tube, and repeated his request. Perry, apparently, was not amused. "Oh, dear lord," he exclaimed before walking away.

While driving home from the party, Diamond related the story to his girlfriend. "You do realize," she sarcastically remarked, "that he checked himself into a clinic for addiction to Vicodin." Diamond's reply? "Oh, dear lord!"



- Kurt Steinberg

28th March 2004 - 10:32:10 PM
6904 : Kurt Steinberg
The poster of message 6903 should post elsewhere. Asshole, Jesus died to save us. Go somewhere else - this message board is intended for fags to post queer fantasies about Diamond!

Has anyone read the older messages posted here? I think that the real Diamond used to post here. Check out message 924:

http://www.dustindiamond.com/guest/guest.html?displayBegin=904

That message certainly sounds as though it was written by Diamond! Max Goldberg, did you have a falling-out with Diamond? What's the deal?

- Kurt Steinberg

27th March 2004 - 08:17:53 PM
6896 : Kurt Steinberg
Chachi, do you really expect any of us to believe that you aren't queer? Your email address, of which you seem to be very proud, is totally gay - chachitime@aol.com. Obviously Happy Days is your favorite TV show - do you toss off to it? You probably view Fonzie in the same way the posters here view Diamond (i.e., as a gay sex object).

- Kurt Steinberg

26th March 2004 - 11:08:13 PM
6888 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I found this interview you gave recently:

http://216.239.51.104/search?q=cache:7SRJW93ws7AJ:www.dailytargum.com/news/2003/11/07/InsideBeat/Tea-Time.With.Pantera.And.Beers.With.Screech-551699.shtml+screech+%22daily+targum%22&hl=en&ie=UTF-8

Do you really want to beat Belding and Slater with shovels? After you are done beating them, will you jag them in the ass with the shovel handle? Let's hook up and discuss this further.

Can I teabag you?

- Kurt Steinberg

25th March 2004 - 11:41:10 PM
6877 : Kurt Steinberg
Pricess (or shall I call you by your alias, Jumbo?), you think I have a mini-penis? Why don't you cum over to my place and I'll show you just how "mini" my rod is! You'll get lockjaw when you try to fit my huge johnson in your mouth. After you're done sucking me off, I'll take a dump on your head and give you a Dirty Sanchez that looks just like Diamond's neatly-trimmed beard!

- Kurt Steinberg

24th March 2004 - 12:29:09 AM
6859 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, let's get together and go to my favorite local queer establishment, the "Booty Burglar Bar." The bartenders Lance and Bruce will hook us up with some body shots. Then you'll suck the pants off me right in the bar and I'll give you a golden shower!

- Kurt Steinberg

23rd March 2004 - 12:01:02 AM
6843 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, have you seen this urinal?
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/040319/1889/fwd117b20040319jpg

You should be the model for a urinal (you could certainly use the royalty revenue stream). The designer needs to incorporate your neatly trimmed beard into the design!!! I know I'd enjoy pissing in a "Dustin Diamond" urinal!

- Kurt Steinberg

22nd March 2004 - 11:44:05 PM
6842 : Kurt Steinberg
"Remember when ..." guy, thanks for another great recap! I lost three loads while reading it.

By the way, I noticed that your episode recaps incorporate the various minute intricacies of the episodes. It seems as though only the real Dustin Diamond would know such details. Are you really Dustin Diamond? Or are you just a big fan?

- Kurt Steinberg

22nd March 2004 - 12:15:21 AM
6831 : Kurt Steinberg
Fagbusters, have a great birthday - I hope you lose a few loads in some dude this evening!

My favorite episode is the one where Zack and Slater get into a fight at the Max over the new girl at school! When Belding got between them while trying to break up the fight, I totally blew my wad! Diamond also got involved in the encounter - it was incredibly homo-erotic!

Does anyone have any queer fantasies about Screech, Belding, and Max getting in on in the alley behind The Max?

- Kurt Steinberg

20th March 2004 - 02:38:13 AM
6820 : Kurt Steinberg
Kerri Dunn, please do not post here again or the website administrator will be forced to delete your message. Only queers are supposed to post here - male queers that is!

Diamond, I want to let you that I saw a woman with huge breasts today. I actually thought that maybe I was turning straight! When I got home from work, I quickly popped one of your Saved By The Bell DVDs into my DVD player. Luckily, you gave me wood like always! So I am still gay - I'm not just a little gay ... I'm still full-blown Liberace gay!!! A couple hours ago I met another dude in a "gloryhole" bathroom at the local rest area. He sucked me off in the wooded area behind the bathrooms!

How's your neatly trimmed beard doing? Have you rubbed it against anyone's wang recently?

- Kurt Steinberg

19th March 2004 - 12:56:23 AM
6814 : Kurt Steinberg
Jeremy, we need to hook up for manly love. I want to tape a picture of Diamond to the headboard of your bed. Then I'll pound away at your cornhole, giving you much anal pleasure! Please let me know if you are interested!

- Kurt Steinberg

18th March 2004 - 12:22:39 AM
6803 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I just read a story about an Afghan who got in trouble for ass-slamming a donkey:
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=10&u=/nm/20040316/od_nm/afghan_soldier_donkey_dc

Does that story turn you on or give you any perverted thoughts? Maybe you should break into a zoo and get it on with some of the animals!

- Kurt Steinberg

15th March 2004 - 12:07:15 AM
6778 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I just found this Saved By The Bell lunchbox available for sale at the NBC.com store: http://www.shopnbc.com/product/?deptid=2980&storeid=2&familyid=N60328&track=-20201

Why isn't your picture on a lunchbox? It would be the #1 selling lunchbox in both San Francisco and Key West! Hey, are you going to get married to another dude in San Francisco? Your queer fans will be heartbroken if you take yourself off the market!

- Kurt Steinberg

12th March 2004 - 12:45:52 AM
6732 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, you, me, and the Ass Plunderer need to hook up for manly love!!! Here's my queer fantasy - I want to do you in the cornhole while you toss Ass Plunderer's salad! I'll even give you a "reach-around" as I pound away! Doesn't that sound like fun??

Is Benny (message 6726) correct? I didn't know that you hung out with the kid from SeaQuest. Did he play with your "light saber" while he practiced for the role of Annakin Skywalker???

- Kurt Steinberg

09th March 2004 - 11:51:08 PM
6710 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, what happened to www.dustindiamond.net ? It's gone! Couldn't you afford to keep it up? How's your music career going? Are your fans going to see one of your videos on MTV anytime soon?

I think that you and Belding should star in another Saved By The Bell show. You should also bring back Lisa - her career fizzled out after the original Saved By The Bell ended. Please do you queer fans a favor and film a shower encounter between you and Belding in the new series!

Remember when Saved By The Bell - the New Class ended? Why didn't you try to be the towel boy on "Hang Time?" You could have cleaned the team's laundry, passed out cups of water, and soaped up Dick Butkus' (the basketball coach on the show) ass!!!

- Kurt Steinberg

09th March 2004 - 02:04:56 AM
6699 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, this message board gets shittier every day. Please clean it up. Nobody wants to read religious or hate-related messages. Instead, your queer fans (who comprise 97% of the people who view this guestbook daily) are simply looking for homo-erotic Saved By The Bell fantasies involving you, Diamond! Such messages allow your gay followers to lose many loads annually! However, this board has become cluttered with off-topic messages.

Diamond, if you clean up this board immediately, I promise I'll drop a hot, spicy Cleveland Steamer onto your head and genitals!

- Kurt Steinberg