More program code for Screech's robot "Kevin"

Hey queers, I wrote a computer program for Screech's robot Kevin. I think it would have been really hot if Zack had programmed Kevin with the following instruction code:

100 //COMMENT: THIS PROGRAM INITIATES A HOT SCAT AND RAPE MODE//
105 //COMMENT: © 2005, KURT STEINBERG//
110 ACTIVATE METAL CLAWS
115 //COMMENT: FECES ACQUISITION SUBROUTINE//
120 TARGET = SLATER
125 ANNOUNCE "MUST ACQUIRE DIARRHEA SPECIMEN FROM SLATER"
130 DETAIN TARGET WITH METAL CLAWS
135 FORCE BURRITOS AND EX-LAX DOWN TARGET'S THROAt
140 REMOVE TARGET'S BAGGY ACID-WASHED JEANS
145 INSERT FUNNEL BELOW TARGET'S BUTTHOLE
150 COLLECT DIARRHEA SPECIMEN FROM TARGET
155 STORE DIARRHEA SPECIMEN IN METAL CHEST
160 //COMMENT: FECES ACQUISITION COMPLETE//
165 TARGET = SCREECH
170 ENTER HIBERNATE MODE
175 DARKNESS DETECTED?
180 IF NO, GOTO 175
182 IF YES, GOTO 185
185 //COMMENT: DARKNESS DETECTED, TIME TO ATTACK SLEEPING SCREECH//
190 ROLL OVER TO SIDE OF TARGET'S BED
195 GRAB TARGET'S GONZO NOSE WITH 1ST METAL CLAW
200 IGNORE CRIES FOR HELP FROM TARGET
205 CUT THROUGH TARGET'S ZUBAZ WITH 2ND METAL CLAW
210 ERECT AND EXTEND METAL PENIS
215 BOUNCE TARGET UP AND DOWN ON METAL PENIS
220 RECTAL BLEEDING DETECTED?
225 IF NO, GOTO 215
230 IF YES, EJACULATE OILY LOAD INTO TARGET
235 PULL TARGET ONTO FLOOR
240 EJECT STORED DIARRHEA SPECIMEN ONTO TARGET'S POOFY AFRO
245 PICK UP TARGET WITH METAL CLAWS AND THROW DOWN STAIRS
250 ENTER HIBERNATE MODE
255 END

I found a Japanese "Dustin Diamond"

Check out this Japanese guy's website: http://www.generation.nl/~hitoshi/

His website is even fruitier than dustindiamond.com! Check out Hitoshi's guestbook - it's been queered up!

Fire hose diarrhea fantasy

Does Diamond wash cars for a living now that his music career seems pretty much over? Have you ever put your thumb over the end of the hose when the water is turned on? If you have, then you must have noticed that the water sprays in every direction. I did that the other day and got a great queer idea! Diamond and I need to hook up - I'll eat 4 burritoes from Taco Bell along with 3 Ex-Laxes. Then, I'll get naked, position myself 6 inches from his head, and then let loose!!! My watery diarrhea will spray out of my ass and completely coat his poofy afro with excrement!!! I'll bet he is getting hard just reading this queer fantasy!!!

Screech's robot "Kevin"

Remember when Screech had that robot "Kevin" on Saved By The Bell? When that series was originally on Saturday morning television, I always thought it would have been pretty hot if Screech had designed Kevin to sodomize himself. I'll bet Screech could have programmed Kevin to satisfy his penis and ass needs. I wonder if Screech would have programmed Kevin to do him in the cornhole.

I was checking on the queer Dustin diamond forum and found the following instructions for programming Kevin to sodomize Screech:

> INITIATE SODOMY MODE
> TARGET="SCREECH"
> SPEECH MODE - SAY "MUST SODOMIZE SCREECH"
> REPEAT
> LOCATE AND DETAIN TARGET
> TARGET HELD
> IGNORE PROTESTATIONS OF TARGET
> INITIATE ERECTION PROCEDURE
> PROCEDURE COMPLETE
> COMMENCE INSERTION
> THRUST
> WITHDRAW
> THRUST
> WITHDRAW
> THRUST
> WITHDRAW
> THRUST
> SPEECH MODE "ZOINKS...I'M GONNA CUM!"
> COMMENCE EJACULATION PROCEDURE
> COMMENCE EJECTION OF WASTE LIQUIDS
> PROCEDURE COMPLETE
> DONKEY-PUNCH TARGET
> INITIATE CIGARETTE-SMOKING MODE

I want to give Diamond an "Angry Pirate"

I really want to hook up with Diamond for queer sex!!! I recently learned a new gay sex move while I was at a rest stop bathroom looking for some hot man-on-man action. It's called the "Angry Pirate"!!!! I need Diamond to get on his knees and suck me off. When I'm about to blow my load, I'll pull out and squirt my load in one of Diamond's eyes and then I'll kick him in the shin!!! He'll probably then chase after me, limping around seeing out of only one eye, just like a pirate!!!! Does anyone think I can convince Diamond to let me bestow such a gift on him?

Sexy picture of Screech

Wow! Does Screech look unbelievably gay in the picture posted above, or what? That's the gayest I've ever seen him in any picture. Check out Mr. Belding - as someone once posted on dustindiamond.com, it looks as though Mr. Belding is penetrating Lisa Turtle while saying "Look ma, no hands!" Look as Slater - is he assuming the position, waiting for some stud to ravish him?

Salty tea

Does anyone else get turned on thinking about Dustin Diamond while working out? The other day I was using the treadmill at my gym running for about 45 minutes. At the end I was really sweaty and my nuts itched. I think it would have been really hot if Diamond had been waiting for me in my apartment when I got home! He would have laid on the middle of my bedroom floor naked and I would have stripped naked myself, given him Arabian Goggles, and then dunked my sweaty unwashed nuts directly into his mouth! I'm getting so aroused just thinking about this queer fantasy of mine. It would also be nice if Diamond were to lick my butthole clean after he's done working on my nutsack. I'm hopeful that Diamond will oblige me one day and fulfill my homosexual dreams!!!!!!