Diamond's neatly trimmed beard

What's the deal with Dustin Diamond's little beard? It seems as though he's ashamed of the Screech character and wants to disassociate himself from it. How sad. His goatee doesn't even look good. Did anyone see him on "Celebrity Boxing" a couple years ago? The goatee was uneven. Maybe he should shave that crap off. But before he does, I think it would be cool if he rubbed his stuble all over my nutsack while nibbling at it as if it were a piece of cheese. That would be so hot! Then I would blow my load in it, and he could walk around with my DNA in his beard 24x7.

Dumpster

Has anyone ever hung out by the dumpster behind a gay bar? It's a great way to meet some hot studs for gay sex! I ventured over to the brown dumpster behind one of the gay bars in Key West the other day and had some homo-erotic fun! I ran into several homosexuals dressed up in a Saved By The Bell theme. There was a mexican stud with a permed mullet dressed up as Slater, a preppy blonde dressed as Zack, an overweight middle-aged man dressed as Principal Belding, a scrawny kid with a huge poofy white man's afro, and a guy dressed up as Kevin the robot (Screech's robot).

Anyway, the robot held the Screech's shoulders on the ground as Zack gave him a Cleveland Steamer. After that, Zack smeared the excrement all over the Screech's chest and then the Slater gave him a golden shower, pissing his name into the shit-canvas on the Sreech's chest, while the Belding buttslammed the Screech! I immediately walked over and teabagged the Screech! It was a great time!