Friday, December 02, 2016

More Posts From the "Alex Rodriguez Sucks Forum" (November 20, 2016 - December 2, 2016)

Here are comments from the Alex Rodriguez Sucks Forum between November 20, 2016 and December 2, 2016:

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 02 Dec 2016 07:52:42 GMT reply
I can't believe it's the current year and we still have homophobes like Sophmore! I sense some latent homosexuality in his mention of a "turdwich"! It's ok, just realize there is no reason to hide your homosexuality. A Rod is gay, he has probably eaten thousands of dudes buttholes. You can to! Let's hook up. You can tongue my asshole. I'll even let loose a little turd for you to nibble on! Then I'll give you a nice ass plundering before squirting my load in your eye. If you've never done this before you're in for a real treat! Meet me in the dumpster behind the Taco Bell on Brickell Ave in Miami tomorrow night at 2:30am. I will be dressed as A Rod. :)

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 02 Dec 2016 05:54:58 GMT reply
Got eat a hot steamy turdwich you shithole. You should in a psych ward you freaking faggot. A real proud gay man would be ashamed on how backwards and disgusting you are. Shame on you!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 02 Dec 2016 01:41:50 GMT reply
This board is on lockdown for a potential hate crime! Sophmkre must think this is Saudi Arabia where he can insult and threaten those hero's who just come here to celebrate life and try and hook up with other dudes in dumpsters! Is it so wrong that I want to meet up with A Rod in a Taco Bell dumpster and feed him some nice farts before pissing all over his head while he jerks off? How is this nothing but a beautiful thing?

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 02 Dec 2016 01:41:50 GMT reply
So much hate here for the gay community! I thought that the country had moved past these closed-minded attitudes... I don't begrudge you "plain-Jane" types out there who are only into having missionary sex with a woman. You really don't know what you are missing until some random dude, whose name you don't even know, is licking your anus in a bathroom stall at a highway rest stop. I used to think gay people were sick weirdos until the summer of 2002 when I ripped a smelly fart while peeing at a urinal in a men's room in Reno, NV. A random stranger at the urinal next to mine congratulated me on my fart and then yanked off my jeans and started tonguing my anus. Not only was by butthole smelly from the fart, but this guy was kneeling in a puddle of urine that many men had left on the floor underneath the urinal! Although I was grossed out at first, it felt so good as he licked away until I climaxed on the wall, which he quickly licked up. I've met many random strangers at men's rooms over the years and have received many slopped rim jobs. You don't know what you're missing until you try it. I have learned that standing with a wide stance at a urinal and then ripping an insanely loud fart seems ton be a sign that I am willing to let a stranger eat out my ass. Sophomore, you should try this and then report back your findings!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 02 Dec 2016 01:14:04 GMT reply
asshole

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 02 Dec 2016 00:36:59 GMT reply
Reply-to:This homophobia has got to go! This board is for queer fans of A Rod, of which there are millions, to post hot stories and requests! There is nothing at all wrong with me wanting to have A Rod suck a fart out of my ass through a tube before letting loose a nice anal frosty for A Rod to chow down on! This is a beautiful thing. I wish A Rod was lying nude next to me while I whipped his nutsack with a rusty car antenna! kys

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 02 Dec 2016 00:14:54 GMT reply
youre a vile disgusting mofo and should have your hands cut off u faggot

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 01 Dec 2016 23:15:53 GMT reply
no respect at for our great game you siock faggot. kill yourself freak

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 01 Dec 2016 23:01:21 GMT reply
stfu you discusting degenerate prick. Youve been trashing this board for months with your disgusting stories gtfo bitch

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Thu, 01 Dec 2016 22:23:37 GMT reply
This homophobia has got to go! This board is for queer fans of A Rod, of which there are millions, to post hot stories and requests! There is nothing at all wrong with me wanting to have A Rod suck a fart out of my ass through a tube before letting loose a nice anal "frosty" for A Rod to chow down on! This is a beautiful thing. I wish A Rod was lying nude next to me while I whipped his nutsack with a rusty car antenna!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Thu, 01 Dec 2016 19:35:36 GMT reply
Sophomore, it is sad that you are so closed-minded. Is it really a bad thing if a gay man wants to take a dump in A-Rod's closet and then make A-Rod lick his anus clean while giving him a reach-around? I don't see how something like this would impact your life in any way. So you probably stop posting here...

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 01 Dec 2016 14:03:16 GMT reply
Lol I'm sure veteran has paedophile tendencies. You're disgusting at best you sick f-uck. Gtfo this board mofo.

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Thu, 01 Dec 2016 08:09:45 GMT reply
It seems as though 98% of the people who post in this forum are raging queers, just like A-Rod's fans in real life

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Thu, 01 Dec 2016 07:41:04 GMT reply
I want to make love to A Rod in a dumpster. I want to spray him with diarrhea while he eats my anus!

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 01 Dec 2016 07:14:54 GMT reply
You love attention u sick freak. Jackoff smirk fif faggotron pos dizzy fart smelling filth bucket shit smearing stink gazcan gasping fuming flatulence. GET A LIFE!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 30 Nov 2016 01:56:59 GMT reply
It's well known that men in the gay community love blasting farts to attract other men! As a queer icon A Rod shows his love for all of us by ripping enormous farts that his queer fans can huff! It is so wrong I want A Rod to lick my filthy butthole?

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 30 Nov 2016 01:23:35 GMT reply
youre a fart loving freak with mental problems

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Tue, 29 Nov 2016 03:35:51 GMT reply
How dare you bring homophobic hatred onto this loving board! If A Rod wants to fellate truckers, or tongue an old mans anus that's a beautiful thing!

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 29 Nov 2016 01:23:47 GMT reply
f-cking vet loser below with split personalities. Get a life u pathetic fag

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 28 Nov 2016 05:16:53 GMT reply
Below Vet can you confirm the rumor I heard that he was dressed as Fidel Castro while fellating all those horny truckers? What's up with that?

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sun, 27 Nov 2016 19:38:30 GMT reply
I heard that A-Rod worked at a truck stop glory hope for 6 hours last night, sucking off and tonguing the abuses of dozens of random truckers. That was the #2 item on his cum-bucket list!!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sat, 26 Nov 2016 02:01:26 GMT reply
That was super hot! There is nothing better then hooking up with a dude in a rest area bathroom while another dude is stinking up the place while taking a nasty dump in the very next stall. One time I was doing this (unfortunately not with A Rod) and the action got so hot we knocked down the partition wall between the stalls! The dude who was sitting on the toilet spraying diarrhea was a little shocked at first, but then joined right in! He ripped some farts on us, then sprayed diarrhea before eating my ass! It was the most erotic threesome I've ever been involved in!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 25 Nov 2016 10:29:02 GMT reply
I hooked up with A-Rod a couple years ago. We met at a gay bar in Queens, NY and it was lust at first sight. We heavily made out in a bathroom stall while someone was shitting the stall right next to us! It really turned us on as the random stranger who was separated from us only by a then metal partition farted and sprayed diarrhea. I was wearing ass-less leather pants at the time and A-Rod got so turned on by the dude going diarrhea that he spun me around and buried his face in my ass cheeks. He nibbled away like a rat eating a piece of cheese until I climaxed, blowing a huge load on the toilet seat, which A-Rod then bent down to lick up like a kitty cat! It was a magical experience I will never forget!!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Thu, 24 Nov 2016 05:59:58 GMT reply
I want to jam a turkey drumstick up A Rod's butthole to celebrate Thanksgiving! I bet A Rod would really enjoy this! I would then drop a nice deuce on him while terrorizing his nostrils with my noxious farts!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Thu, 24 Nov 2016 02:02:44 GMT
Damn, Bartman and A Rod would be a magnificent couple. I'm sure A Rod would get sick of Bartman in the sack as he looks like a submissive who would enjoy A Rod pounding his ass, then ripping farts in his face.

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 23 Nov 2016 21:49:41 GMT
I think it would be hot if A-Rod started dating Steve Bartman, the infamous dorky Cubs fan. Since he gets no love from Cubs fans, Bartman should look elsewhere, such as to A-Rod. I bet that they would be a cute couple with a lot of hand-holding at butt-grabbing. However, in A-Rod's bedroom, I'm sure he'll really bring it as gives it to Bartman right in the ass while Bill Murray watches and sings "Go Cubs, Go!"

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 23 Nov 2016 19:05:43 GMT
He has gone to Cabo for Thanksgiving before.

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 23 Nov 2016 14:58:42 GMT
A Rod will be celebrating Thanksgiving by having hot man love with a team of homeless men under a pier in Miami. He will bring along a nice turd that he's shaped into a turkey. Sounds heartwarming.

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 23 Nov 2016 14:10:43 GMT
Doesn't he usually head for Cabo around this time of year, or is that for Christmas/New Year ? (Laura)

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Tue, 22 Nov 2016 22:54:48 GMT
Hahahaha...I love these stories. Perhaps you should take a look at the Cam Newton, Colin Kaepernick, and Jeremy Lin forums. Those have some good work in them too. Cheers👍

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Tue, 22 Nov 2016 12:40:11 GMT
A-Rod, I want you to buy some airline stocks because I'm gonna buy a plane, fill it with prison sperm, then crash into your anus, thereby creating a tsnaumi of cum that will be as big as 9/11 -- does the thought of a plane load of cum being dumped into your hole whilst you make money off the airline stocks turn you on? Well does it? It'd better bitch - cause the airforce creampie one is heading your WAY!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Tue, 22 Nov 2016 02:31:36 GMT
It was frighteningly loud! On A Rod's side of the door there was a large brown stain from his wet farts. I didn't ask him his diet but did see many Taco Bell bags laying around along with some pork rinds and Mountain Dew.

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 21 Nov 2016 08:57:33 GMT
Man, that is a hot story! I wish I had a room adjoining A-Rod. That door must have been shaking violently each time A-Rod unleashed one of his powerful farts! Did he tell you what he ate that fueled his gas?

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 21 Nov 2016 06:06:40 GMT
That sweat pants in his socks. What a dweeb


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Wednesday, November 30, 2016

More Posts From the "Albert Pujols Sucks Forum" (September 9, 2016 - November 30, 2016)

Here are comments from the Albert Pujols Sucks Forum posted between September 9, 2016 and November 30, 2016:

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 30 Nov 2016 03:06:00 GMT
I was behind Mr. Poop Holes at a Taco Bell today. He ordered a very large meal all for himself. When he was given the balance owed (It was like $30) he turned around and rippped a ridiculously loud fart! The cashier then handed him his food which he then took into the bathroom to I guess eat. Does anyone know if Taco Bell accepts farts for payment and if the decibel level equates to a certain amount of payment?

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 28 Nov 2016 09:31:45 GMT
Damn Steve Anus that's a really hot story! I would loved to have seen Albert Poo-Hole shake his ass! Was he known back then for ripping ridiculously loud farts?

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 28 Nov 2016 09:31:45 GMT
My name is Steve Anus. I dated Albert back in 1998 when he was a student at Maple Woods Community College. You may not know this, but Pujols is not his original surname. Prior to 1999, his name was Albert Martinez. He enjoyed going to gay bars and having a ton of anal sex and was also a part-time exotic dancer in 1998. His stage name was "Albert Poo-Hole," a funny take on his love of being on the receiving end of unprotected anal sex. He liked the stage name so much that he decided to change his last name to "Pujols."

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 28 Nov 2016 05:32:41 GMT
I saw Albert last night at a local Mexican restaurant. He wasn't in the restaurant, but instead was drinking an Old English 40' by the dumpsters. He was hanging out with about 4 homeless men. Later on I heard someone complaining that a bunch of dudes were having group sex in the dumpster outside.

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sat, 26 Nov 2016 02:11:25 GMT
I heard from a good friend of mine that Albert was spotted at a men's homeless shelter for Thanksgiving. He wasn't there to help, but instead pretended to be homeless and ate 5 plates of food! He then spent the rest of the time trolling for man ass and was last seen by my friend heading into the bathroom with about 5 bums. He then heard loud moaning and some very loud farts. What a weirdo!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Thu, 24 Nov 2016 09:51:07 GMT
I was waiting for my meal at Taco Bell the other day when I saw Albert in line! He ordered like 12 tacos and two large drinks, which was strange as that Taco Bell has free refills. When he was ordering his meal, he unleashed an incredibly loud fart, the loudwaves of which reverberated off the walls and windows. I swear I actually heard an echo and it felt like the fart rasied the room temperature by a few degrees. I couldn't believe it, but Albert managed to order his meal without changing his posture or facial expressions, almost as if he wasn't dropping ass. He obviously has worked on his farting technique!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sun, 20 Nov 2016 10:11:22 GMT
I want to have sexual encounters with Albert in a dumpster. I dream of us 69'ing on heaps of trash. Albert please make my dream come true!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 18 Nov 2016 23:31:38 GMT
She is a foul beast. But I know that was her and A Rod. I didn't notice anything sexual expect her ripping queefs in his face after they had huffed glue for awhile. I didn't see Ed Asner around but maybe he's in the mix. I could see he and A Rod hooking up. Maybe Ed swings both ways.

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 18 Nov 2016 12:08:18 GMT
Albert Pujols is as gay as the day is long. However, even if he were straight, which he is not, there is simply no way that he could get it up fora hideous beast like Sally Struthers. Most straight men would need a forklift to get an erection if they saw the 400-lb Struthers naked!
Look at her making out with an 86-year-old Ed Asner in public. Barf! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3525578/That-s-saucy-Ed-Asner-86-Sally-Struthers-68-lock-lips-tongues-veteran-stars-hands-film-festival-event.html

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 18 Nov 2016 05:25:11 GMT
Can anyone confirm that Albert has switched back to women and is currently dating Sally Struthers? I believe I saw them together at a movie. They were both huffing glue and eating an enormous bag of Taco Bell. Sally then repeatedly queefed in Albert's face. Thanks for the help.

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Thu, 17 Nov 2016 23:32:41 GMT
This turd was solid. I bet that's rare for Albert. He seems to have a terrible diet and I bet he normally sprays diarrhea on a homeless man or one of his gay lovers.

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 14 Nov 2016 20:27:43 GMT
So Albert's turds are completely solid?

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sun, 13 Nov 2016 17:59:47 GMT
I was behind Albert in line at a supermarket recently. While in line I noticed Albert began shaking his right leg. He did this for 30 seconds or so then stopped. When I looked down i saw a nasty turd on the ground. This animal had shit his pants, then shook his leg to let the turd fall out onto the floor. Who does that?!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 09 Nov 2016 08:12:13 GMT
Albert needs to date Anthony Rizzo. I would pay to watch Anthony eat an entire deep dish pizza and then rip a wet "pepperoni fart" right in Albert's face!

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 09 Nov 2016 03:21:22 GMT
I want to rub knobs with Albert while frolicking on a beach. He can rub sand all over my ass then tongue my anus while I giggle and fart.

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 05 Nov 2016 04:34:26 GMT
I have solid information that Albert was in Chicago the last few days and never left Boystown. He has been celebrating with Cubs fans by having nearly non stop gay sex!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 03 Nov 2016 01:18:14 GMT
Pujols will do nothing but leave horrendously loud and smelly farts in the Angels dugout for the next 5 years. He will probably begin bringing gay porn magazines to read during the game next year and by the following year will bring them into the field. He is a filthy degenerate.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 02 Nov 2016 03:26:54 GMT
Should hang 'em up. Shame he still has 5 yrs left on his contract lol

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Wed, 02 Nov 2016 02:39:42 GMT
He lives in a zoo for fun. He blasts farts as loud as train horns. What is wrong with this man?

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 01 Nov 2016 13:06:42 GMT
He's fat.

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 31 Oct 2016 07:41:34 GMT
I saw Albert the other day. I went to the zoo with my kids. He was a cage listed as "gorilla". He just sat there making grunting sounds and then had sex with a male gorilla. It was really odd and I got my kids out of there as soon as I could. I complained and was told by staff that Pujols had bought the zoo and was seen molesting many of the animals. He's a real weirdo!

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 29 Oct 2016 00:30:33 GMT
I met Albert at the Iowa 80 truck stop. He had taken an off season job as a truck driver so he could criss cross the country having hot man love at as many truck stops as possible. I had passionate butt sex with him in a very clean stall. After I blew a nice load up his ass he took a nasty shit on the floor of the stall the ripped a 75 decibel fart.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 27 Oct 2016 09:10:22 GMT
I met Albert at one of the bars in The Landing area of St. Louis back in 2007. I was taking a massive dump in a stall in a men's room when Albert kicked the door open, stood me up, and started licking my anus clean! We quickly became gay lovers for that entire summer. He is a submissive lover and is into some S&M activities. He actually enjoyed it when I whipped him in the nuts with a rusty car antenna! He also loves watersports - he once climaxed after I set a personal record by pissing on him for 115 seconds straight! He's also really into receiving anal. He worked at a bowling alley when he was a minor leaguer as learned how to stick an entire bowling pin up his ass, if you can believe that!!!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 24 Oct 2016 00:27:18 GMT
I live near Albert. Each year that weirdo goes trick or treating by himself in his baseball uniform. I almost shit myself the first year he did this.

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 23 Oct 2016 00:59:41 GMT
I was at the mall today and saw Albert eating a bowl of chili out of a homeless mans asshole.

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 21 Oct 2016 03:18:53 GMT
Pujols is washed up. He should become a queer chippendale. I would pay to see him gyrate then take a dump on stage.

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 20 Oct 2016 23:16:23 GMT
I want to massage my taint with goatee stubble. I also think it would be fun to take a dump on his chest and then wipe my ass clean with his goatee. Then I would jerk off onto his face!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 20 Oct 2016 00:14:12 GMT
I was recently driving and saw a man stick his ass out of the passenger window of the car in front of me. He then took a nasty shit. When I got along side of them it was Albert Pujols. What's wrong with that guy?

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 18 Oct 2016 02:01:49 GMT
I saw Pujols having queer sex with a guy who was going to jump off the Golden agate Bridge. A cop came by and instead of arresting them joined in and began ass-slamming Albert! It was highly erotic and shows how progressive the Bay Area is!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 14 Oct 2016 23:20:43 GMT
I heard that Pujols is spending the off season searching for Sasquatch and having hot man love. He has formed a crew of gay cryptozoologists and they are scouring areas looking for a Sasquatch to have sex with. But instead of looking they are spending most of their time eating each other's assholes.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 14 Oct 2016 16:24:48 GMT
Albert Pujols is a douche bag. He completely shit on the Cardinals and all of their fans when he dumped them for the Angels.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 14 Oct 2016 04:18:46 GMT
Maybe that's why that guy on here said he collects the toenail clippings from serial killers?!? It's all making sense now!!! Thanks anonymous, I love finding more out about role models like Albert.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 14 Oct 2016 04:16:46 GMT
hahaha, albert was 15 years older than all the other players on his JC team!!!! Boy, that Albert is something. I can picture that old man walking around the Junior College campus in his nasty shower shoes, cross-eyed while he rubs his groin. What a visual that is! No wonder he is always limping around the field these days like a 400 pound woman with hangnails and gout! All the skin came off his feet in Junior College, because they were so infected with fungus from crazy hobo-sex games!!!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 14 Oct 2016 00:38:19 GMT
Pujols's gangrenous feet are hot! I would like to beat them with a rusty car antenna while occasionally working his balls as well. If a toe fell off while I did this I would be thrilled and would keep it as a sexy souvenir!

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 12 Oct 2016 02:55:17 GMT
I would love to make Pujols rub his rotten feet on my ass. I would fart on them until his feet fell off!

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 08 Oct 2016 03:33:49 GMT
Rookie, 30:45, it's funny you bring up Albert's college days. I know a guy that was 13 and living outside of Kansas City, Missouri when Albert was studying physics and molecular biology at Maple Woods Community College. He used to go to the school during baseball season to shag balls during batting practice for the team. He said all of the guys on the team were extra nice and friendly except for Albert. He says that Albert couldn't wear regular shoes his freshman year because he had developed a flesh eating fungus on his feet. Instead of regular shoes he would wear these dingy white shower shoes, that had actually turned green from the stuff growing on alberts feet and toes. One of the ways the team would haze new players was to make them lick albert's shower shoes. I guess when this happened Albert would get so excited that his eyes would cross, and he would roll his tongue up and curl his lips while rubbing his groin. He says it was the creepiest thing he'd ever see. The only time Albert would wear regular shoes was for games, when he'd wear running shoes (he couldn't wear cleats because they would make the skin on his feed come off in big clumps) that were 2 sizes too big. Albert didn't have any friends on the team.....one was because he was 15 years older than all the other guys at the Junior College, and the other reason was because he was always trying to rub up against the younger players in the dugout. Anyways...the dude has so many "FungiHules" (what he calls him...well, it's one of the 1000 nicknames they had for him) stories.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 08 Oct 2016 03:21:50 GMT
ahahhahha....Albert Pujols thinks he's half golden-retriever....running around sniffing people's asses!!!! I always knew there was something really really weird about him! Now I know what it is. Thanks Sophomore!!!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 07 Oct 2016 22:34:19 GMT
Albert will lead the Angels in the playoffs, you'll see

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 07 Oct 2016 10:35:36 GMT
Albert, I want to go out on a date with you and spend the night. I want to sleep naked in your bed next to you. I will get up in the middle of the night to take a shit in your sacred toilet. I will "forget" to wipe my ass clean. After I get back into bed, I will rub up against you and grind my cock into your leg. Once erect, I will then fart as loudly as I can. I have been practicing my farts at home and have trained my butt hole muscles to fart on cue. When I fart, some dookie juice will spray onto your sheets since I never wiped my ass clean after taking that shit. I will fart several additional times until your entire bedroom smells like ass. You'll eventually either wake up with morning wood, or you'll feel nauseous from the rank smell. Let's get together soon!

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 07 Oct 2016 00:30:45 GMT
I was Albert's roommate in college. Early on I could detect a strong odor of feces coming from his room. I figured the stench was normal since he's a Mexican but it got worse and worse to the point that I had to investigate. So I waited for one day when he left for the afternoon to be the mascot for that year's gay pride parade, and I went into his room. Turns out he had been taking a dump into the sock drawer in his dresser. It was filled with shit. What a weird bastard. I moved out that same day, but before I did I took a shit in there myself

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 06 Oct 2016 23:47:51 GMT
Albert has a vinyl recliner in the Angels locker room. He sits in it every day bare assed and rips wet farts. The chair stinks like shit but that filthy ape won't let clubhouse personnel throw it away or clean it.

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 06 Oct 2016 13:47:31 GMT
When Albert meets someone new, he sniffs the person's ass, just like a dog would. He's a strange guy!

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 03 Oct 2016 21:02:29 GMT
I was recently at a Morton's steakhouse and saw Pujols. He was by himself. When his meal came he had the waiter deliver it to the bathroom, where he then went to eat his dinner. Later on I went into the bathroom and Albert was sitting in a stall eating an enormous steak. I could hear him farting and shitting at the same time! It was very strange, I've never seen a person eat in the bathroom, and certainly never eating and shitting at the same time! What an oddball!

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 03 Oct 2016 15:44:47 GMT
Albert has supposedly been considering joining the bug chasing game with Mike Napoli. It'll be a competition to see who gets it first. Unclear what the terms are as of yet

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 03 Oct 2016 09:40:22 GMT
The Angels said that Albert had a foot injury which caused him to miss the last few games of the season. However, I heard that this is a fabrication and that Albert really missed the last few games because he contracted a sexually transmitted form of Down's Syndrome from one of his many gay lovers. He really needs to think before having sex!

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 02 Oct 2016 18:04:08 GMT
Thanks below Rookie! I have an opportunity to go on a date with him and was mulling it over. With your tips I think I can have him eating my ass like it was the last donut on earth!

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 02 Oct 2016 03:59:24 GMT
Hi poster below I can answer that question. I used to date Albert about a year ago. I'm an unemployed black male in my mid-40's. Anyways Albert (or Poo-holes, as he affectionately likes to be called) is totally game for tongue punching a filthy fart box on the first date, but he's shy about it. You need to open up to him first. He'd only flick his tongue around my gooch and buns at first, but once I told him about my grandfather dying AIDS he ate my ass like an apple fritter. Be open with him, and he'll open you up with his tongue. Hope this helps

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 02 Oct 2016 01:38:47 GMT
Does anyone know if Albert tounges anus on the first date? I'd really like to date him but only if I'm guranteed to have my anus tounged. I would gladly reciprocate by squeezing out a few brown fecal muffins for him to gobble up.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 30 Sep 2016 03:53:27 GMT
These stories are giving me a massive boner! I would love to meet up with Albert in a gay bathhouse I frequent. After soaping each other off I would take a nice, sexy, dump in his mouth!

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 29 Sep 2016 02:12:14 GMT
Hands off girls, below rookie is mine.....OMG....what a POS!

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 28 Sep 2016 22:38:38 GMT
Ha. And they say there's no romance anymore. Take the story below, add some explosions, and you have a hit Michael Bay film

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 28 Sep 2016 20:35:47 GMT
I cannot even begin to express how much I want Albert's tongue to lick my anus. I reciprocate and will suck his cock and then we can spoon until we fall asleep for the night on my futon. In the morning, we can suck each other's cocks before heading over to an iHop for some pancakes

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 27 Sep 2016 14:58:28 GMT
Albert calls customer service numbers and loudly belches into the phone. He then jerks off as this sexually arouses him.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 26 Sep 2016 06:52:17 GMT
My main issue with this fat assed idiot isn't his shameful embarrassing play, his taco heritage, deviant homosexuality or disgusting looks, it's that he's a complete and utter moron on the same level as Tim Tebow. This fool's followers aren't nearly as devoted though. Choke on a burrito and piss off you fat bastard

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 26 Sep 2016 04:00:36 GMT
I'm so glad the season is almost over for the Angels. Soon Albert will be free to travel across the country in his 1978 Gremlin while stopping at rest areas and truck stops in search of hot homosexual encounters! I've met Albert a few times now and have found him to be a very generous lover who has some amazing ass eating skills.

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 24 Sep 2016 16:40:43 GMT
I was at the game last night. I'm not certain but after the game I swear I saw Albert and the guy who played Corky walking out of the stadiums and holding hands. At one point Albert let loose a huge fart and Corky began jumping around laughing and clapping. What's up with that?

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 23 Sep 2016 21:48:35 GMT
Oh man that is so hot!! I would love for Albert to be an additional urinal during busy times at the Angels stadium! He could sit there letting dudes piss in his mouth for hours. I for one would also then turn around and blast a nice fart in his face!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 23 Sep 2016 01:19:06 GMT
I want to use Albert's mouth as a urinal! Then I will eat out his ass and finish off by blowing a massive load into his mouth

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 22 Sep 2016 04:52:20 GMT
I'm pretty sure he's gay...

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Wed, 21 Sep 2016 01:09:53 GMT
Albert tried to control his deviant behavior this season and not tongue any man ass but he found his batting average sucked. He then gave in to his urges and immersed himself in the deviant pastime of tonguing and huffing homeless men's anus. His batting average immediatly jumped. Smelly bum ass is Pujols fountain of youth! I hear he may write a book about it!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 19 Sep 2016 03:36:35 GMT
OH, THIS IS JOEY AGAIN. AND FOR ALL U JERKS TALKING BAD. ALBERT I THE BEST. HE DOES SO MUCH FOR THE PPL. TWO TIME A YEAR HE PLAYS IN CHARITY GOLF TOURNAMENTS AT PELICAN HILL GOLF CLUB. WHAT DO U GUYS DO FOR THE PPL. ALBER RULES!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 19 Sep 2016 03:34:27 GMT
I LOVE ALBERT. I GET AN AUTOGRAPH FROM HIM AT THE BREA MALL. I WAS WITH MY FRIEND FROM SCHOOL, WE BOTH ARE IN 5TH GRADE. HE ONLY CHARGE ME 60 DOLLARS CASH AND MY 20 DOLLAR BEST BUY GIFT CARD. MY FRIEND ONLY HAD TO GIVE HIM HIS WATCH (CASIO) AND HIS 10 DOLLAR GIFT CARD TO MCDONALDS. HE WAS NICE FOR DOING THIS FOR SUCH GOOD PRICE. THANKS ALBERT. JOEY AND CHRIS FROM WESTMINSTER.

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 19 Sep 2016 01:04:05 GMT
I've never heard Mr. Trump talk about deporting Gay for Albert fans? I would be more concerned about Albert himself being deported. I bet Mr. Trump will take a long look at that deviants records.

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 18 Sep 2016 14:41:56 GMT
Trump, I hope you win, so this loser gets deported

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 18 Sep 2016 09:05:18 GMT
There is no doubt that Albert Pujols is a first-ballot HOFer. That doesn't change the fact that I want Albert to suck down a Big Gulp of Mountain Dew and then tongue my anus while belching periodically as he gives me a hot reach-around!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 18 Sep 2016 03:32:04 GMT
ALBERT IS A HOFer. You turkeys seem to be jealous of a good man.

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 18 Sep 2016 02:51:56 GMT
Hey 2:48:31, was Albert upset when he was informed that Burger King only has Coke products, not Mountain Dew? I bet he went into the bathroom to shit all over everything!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 18 Sep 2016 02:48:31 GMT
I saw Albert at a Burger King. He ordered 3 whoppers, a large order of onion rings, and a large Mountain Dew. He then took his meal and went into the bathroom to eat. Does anyone know if Albert normally eats his meals in the bathroom? I saw on another board that someone saw him do the same thing at Red Lobster.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 17 Sep 2016 04:29:29 GMT
Albert Pujols keeps a ziplock bag full of toenail clippings in his nightstand.

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 16 Sep 2016 21:09:12 GMT
I me Albert at a charity auction. He was auctioning himself off to the highest bidder and promised to "loudly belch and fart in their face". There were hundreds of bids, all from gay men. When the bidding was over this guy who looked like Liberace screamed in delight and he and Albert headed into the bathroom where I heard some loud farts and some moaning. It was an odd event.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 16 Sep 2016 05:45:50 GMT
Albert Pujols pays obese women to eat frozen pizza and cupcakes in private one on one webcam shows.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 16 Sep 2016 02:53:44 GMT
I was at an autograph signing for Mr. Pujols. He was drinking a 3 liter of Mountain Dew soda which I didn't think was even made anymore. But I guess for celebrities like Pujols it may be available. He drank the entire 3 liter in about 3 minutes while signing autographs with one hand and chugging his 3 liter with the other. It was then my turn. I told him I was a big fan and asked him to sign the bat I had brought. He looked up at me and let loose the loudest burp I had ever heard. It knocked off the hat on my head. Albert then leaned off his chair and ripped a loud fart, smiled, then signed my bat. It looks like he signed it "poopholes". Not sure if that was on purpose. He's truly an amazing man.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 15 Sep 2016 09:36:13 GMT
I heard that Albert Pujols is great at tossing salad. He drinks a large Mountain Dew and then starts licking the anus of one of his gay lovers. When he belches while doing this, I've heard that his gay lovers climax immediately!

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 13 Sep 2016 17:23:43 GMT
I heard Albert collects serial killer memorabilia and has a pet chupacubra that he feeds Taco Bell.

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 13 Sep 2016 03:48:31 GMT
There's a rumor going around the fan forums on the internet that Albert Pujols graduated high school in 1981. I don't think it's true. There's no way that such an honest, upstanding, Dominican gentleman like Jose Alberto Pujols Alcantara would lie about his age and/or use a fake birth certificate! Players from the Dominican Republic would NEVER do anything like that! Especially not 'El Machina'. He gives money to kids with down syndrome after all. Someone like him that plays in a charity golf tournament once a year wouldn't do something like that!!!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 13 Sep 2016 03:43:05 GMT
HELO. MY NAME IS BILLY KOCH AND IAM 9 YEAR OLD FRUM FOUNTAIN VALLEYS. ALBERT IS MY FAVOURITE ANGELS PLAYER. I LOVE HOW HE IS SUCH A HARD WORRKER AND TEAM FIRST PLAYER. HE IS NOT SO SELFISH LIKE MIKE TROUTS. I LIKE HOW ALBERTS STEALS BASES AND NEVER MAKES BAD BASE RUNING DECISIONS. ALSO HE DOSNT HIT IN 2 DBL PLAYS LIKE THE OTHER GUYZ. I LOVE HOW NICE AND HAPY AND FREINDLY ALBERT IS..HE ALWAYZ SMILES AND IS THE BEST PERSON. AND HE LOVE KIDS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH. I SEE HIM WHEN I WENT TO THE AIRPORT AND HE ONLY CHARGE ME AND MY MOM 250 DOLARS TO SIGN A AUTOGRAPH ON A NAPKIN. HE SAID HE WOULD DO IT FOR FREE BUT HE NEEDS TO SUPPORT FAMILY WICH SHOWS HOW AMAZING HE IS. LOVE HIM SOOOOOOOOO MUCH.

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 12 Sep 2016 03:25:57 GMT
I heard that Albert farts on his hand and smells it before each at bat believing it gives him good luck. Can anyone confirm this? I've heard when he needs a clutch hit he will stick his hand under his pants and underwear so he can fart directly on his hand without any fabric filtering it. Then he huffs that stink believing it gives him super hitting powers. Does anyone know if he did this in St. Louis as well?

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 11 Sep 2016 07:56:07 GMT
Albert failed Speech class during his sophmore year in high school. I heard that when he was supposed to give a speech on a social issues, he instead belched for 2 minutes straight! He then dropped his pants and pissed on the floor on front of the entire class!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 10 Sep 2016 09:48:49 GMT
I have a VHS tape called "Pujols Greatest Hits". I assumed it would be a montage of his home runs. Instead it is 30 minutes of Albert belching and farting ridiculous loudly into various peoples faces. It closes with a picture of a large turd in a toilet with no reference to if its Alberts or not. Very odd, but highly erotic.

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 10 Sep 2016 07:56:27 GMT
Albert needs to star in a gay porno in the off-season. I would definitely purchase a DVD of him eating out Mike Trout's ass while he is getting ass-slammed by manager Mike Scioscia!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 10 Sep 2016 00:42:17 GMT
That Tainted Love story is hot! It's a bit sad Albert was all alone and wasn't able to serenade some queer lover of his. I bet he would have then ripped a few of his patented pepperoni farts as well!

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 09 Sep 2016 21:48:18 GMT
i heard that albert likes to sing 'tainted love' on karaoke night at a transvestite bar in Anaheim. where there are gay men with their taints in his face, he gets in the mood to sign 'tainted love'!!!1

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 09 Sep 2016 14:58:32 GMT
I imagine that was quite a sight! Albert Pujols singing Soft Cell's hit "Tainted Love" at the local El Torito Grille. I would have loved to see that show. Do you have any pictures or video clips? You could make some money with that! I can picture him doing a pretty good rendition of "Electric Avenues", but I have a hard time believing he has the vocal range to do justice to any of Timbuk 3's hits.


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