The "Albert Pujols Sucks Forum"

I recently discovered a website with forums for hundreds of different players.  There are "sucks" forums for Albert Pujols and Alex Rodriguez, among other players.

Here are the most recent posts on the "Albert Pujols Sucks Forum":

Discussion forum for Albert Pujols's fans (L.A. Angels, MLB).

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 09 Jun 2016 14:52:55 GMT I have good information that Pujols reads this forum for tips on how to get his average up! So far our tips are paying serious dividends for him!

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 09 Jun 2016 04:48:21 GMT pujols lets homeless bums piss on his face for good luck

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 06 Jun 2016 16:56:00 GMT Pujols's average is up to .238! He must have inhaled some magical farts!!!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 26 May 2016 18:30:35 GMT Pujols is down to .218! Still much better since he began his regiment of eating out dirty homesless men's assholes! His gone up over 20 points! If only Pujols would start eating more ass during the games he would be at .230!

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 20 May 2016 04:40:00 GMT Pujols hit a double today and his BA is now up to .224! He needs to eat out Mike Scioscia's anus to celebrate during the 7th inning stretch!

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 19 May 2016 15:38:58 GMT Tony LaRussa used to fart in Pujols' face on a daily basis in 2001, during Pujols' rookie season. It was a hazing ritual, but Pujols enjoyed it so much that it elevated his baseball play so that he won the Rookie of the Year award!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 19 May 2016 00:17:20 GMT That would be so hot if Pujols released a book on how he beat a slump by eating out homeless men's rancid assholes!

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Wed, 18 May 2016 04:36:38 GMT Pujols got another hit on Tuesday. His BA is up to a whopping .213! He needs to release a book on licking anuses to get out of a batting slump!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Wed, 18 May 2016 02:23:33 GMT Pujols batting average is up to .212! Eating out the fouls asses of homeless dudes is really helping him! I wonder if he let them pull a train on his ass if he could get to .225?

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 17 May 2016 10:33:58 GMT Albert went 3 for 4 on Monday! He needs to eat out the asses of more homeless bums, as it is giving him confidence at the plate!!!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 16 May 2016 22:03:59 GMT Pujols must really be getting desperate if he's resorted to eating out a homeless bums ass! Hopefully that does the trick.

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 16 May 2016 06:01:20 GMT Albert ate out a homeless bum's ads after Sunday's game

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 16 May 2016 00:26:25 GMT Today Pujols was 0-4 and is back under .200. He needs to tongue the anus of every single teammate of his in order to begin hitting again! Instead he spent the day once again watching a little TV with Saved by the Bell on it while running his crotch!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 15 May 2016 17:35:59 GMT I heard that while giving Trout that Rusty that Rusty Trombone he was dressed in Zubaz and fro wig? What's up with that?

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 15 May 2016 05:46:47 GMT The rusty trombone Pujols gave Mike Trout the other day is really paying off. Pujols has raised his average from .183 to .203 and hit two home runs!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 15 May 2016 03:18:55 GMT Thankfully Pujols was able to get a nice whiff of a Mike Trout fart in the dugout and worked a walk immediatly afterwards. It seems that unless he is tonguing anus or huffing farts he can't hit at all.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 15 May 2016 03:10:34 GMT I love you Corky! Unfortunately Pujols must not have huffed any farts or tongued any of his teammates anus's before the game as he is 0-3 so far tonight!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 14 May 2016 08:31:41 GMT COrky go wet dookie on albeert pooholes!!!!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 14 May 2016 05:31:18 GMT Pujols got another hit Friday night and is almost bating .200. His new regiment of huffing his teammates farts before games is paying off!

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 14 May 2016 05:00:34 GMT i would like to expel a smelly fart in Mr. Pujols's face

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 13 May 2016 20:28:08 GMT Albert got two hits (one HR) on Thursday! His strategy of inhaling Mike Trout's farts seems to be working so far!!!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 13 May 2016 18:23:25 GMT I can confirm that happened. They did that to congratulate him on his trade to the North Korean team. He got very arroused and was seen deeply breathing in the farts.

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 13 May 2016 03:53:49 GMT Is there any truth to the rumor that manager Mike Scioscia and Mike Trout both dropped their pants, pressed their bare asses against Albert's face, and ripped ass simultaneously in the team locker room after Wednesday night's loss to the Cardinals?

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 13 May 2016 03:31:47 GMT You are all talking shit about a sure Hall of Famer. He DOES NOT deserve to even be considered. Like so many NL hitters before him, he STINKS against AL pitching!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 13 May 2016 02:20:59 GMT I just a saw a news report that Pujols has been traded to a team in North Korea!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 13 May 2016 01:58:57 GMT I believe he does. That combined with his fascination with Saved by the Bell has made him worthless. I heard he makes the bat boys dress up as Screech and prance around in Zubaz pants and fro wigs!

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 13 May 2016 01:48:33 GMT Does Albert Pujols use a colostomy bag as a result of a ruptured colon? If so, that could explain the rapid decline in his performance at the plate. Perhaps if the Angels sign Jason Giambi, he could tongue Albert's anus on a daily basis until Albert can finally hit a fastball again?

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 12 May 2016 17:14:23 GMT That last comment is hot! I would love for Pujols to dress up as his favorite Saved by the Bell character and I would dress up as Fonzi. I would yell "Ayyyy!" over and over again before sodomizing him with a broom stick! Damn I'm getting hot thinking about this! Below poster while I'm doing that you could be spraying diarrhea on him! Hit us back Pujols!

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 12 May 2016 01:07:54 GMT I want to use Albert's lips as a toilet seat and spray diarrhea all over his face!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 11 May 2016 19:05:01 GMT That idea of Pujols eating Trout's ass is awesome! I think that someone needs to get that little TV away from Pujols and let him know that all the SBTB episodes are on DVD! He can watch after the game and jerk off to Screech being molested by various cast members. It seems Screech is like crack to Pujols and he's forgotten about baseball altogether! I bet he will soon come out of the closet and might even try and eat out Trout's ass in the dugout as another poster suggested!

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 11 May 2016 05:39:40 GMT Maybe if Pujols eats out Trout's ass that will help him recover his swing?

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 11 May 2016 05:39:10 GMT I heard that Pujols has been stealing Mike Trout's sweaty jock straps from the laundry bin in the Angel's locker room in an effort to recharge himself. Supposedly he jerked off three times last weekend while Trout's sweaty jock strap was on his face. It hasn't work, as Pujols' average is down to .183!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 11 May 2016 05:07:09 GMT Tonight I could see that Pujols was watching the Saved by the Bell episode where Screech has to wrestle Nedick! I'm pretty certain Pujols was rubbing his crotch while enjoying it! He looked furious when he was called up to bat and struck out on three straight pitches so he could get back to the dugout!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 10 May 2016 20:18:20 GMT Did anyone watch the game? I could clearly see Pujols was watching the episode of Saved by the Bell where Screech dances the "Sprain" at the Max! Pujols was giggling like a little girl and seemed angry when he had to go up to bat!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 09 May 2016 17:18:35 GMT Pujols decline has very little to do with 'roids and everything to do with an addiction to the show Saved by the Bell. It seems Pujols saw it on Telemundo and became enamored with "screech". All he wants to do is watch Saved by the bell and talk about Screech. He stopped practicing. And in the dugout if you look you will see he has a little tv so he can watch more Saved by the Bell. He doesn't want to get hits, he just wants to get back to the dugout. Sad but true.

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 09 May 2016 17:08:03 GMT He is terrible now. It is sad that the guy who was the best player in the game for years now completely sucks. He needs to lick Mark McGwire's anus for good luck!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 09 May 2016 02:34:19 GMT Jack Clark (a former Cardinal and team affiliate when Pooholes was in STL said he took steroids on his radio show. He has hit .100 points below his STL average.

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 04 May 2016 03:21:46 GMT He must have stopped taking steroids when he signed with the Angels before the 2012 season, as he has sucked royally since then!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 04 May 2016 02:29:35 GMT How much longer can he keep embarrassing himself? Does he have no self dignity, retire already.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 04 May 2016 02:26:54 GMT It's so obvious he was a roider,he should grouped in with the likes of Bonds, Mcgwire, Arod, Clemens. He would be a disgrace to the hall just like the other mentioned names would be.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 26 Apr 2016 21:04:12 GMT Reply-to:stupid chubby south american immigrant shit eater He is Dominican and he ain't no shit eater so eat your words

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 23 Apr 2016 09:43:01 GMT Players decline at different rates. Jimmie Foxx had more HRs at age 30 than Ruth did but by age 34, he was done (hit .226).

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 11 Apr 2016 02:41:31 GMT Pujols was obviously juiced up for most of his time with the Cardinals. This explains his rapid career decline.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 11 Apr 2016 01:52:03 GMT are we going to see pujols getting thrown out at first on balls hit into the outfield? he has always been slow, but he looks like he is barely walking nowadays?

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 25 Sep 2015 13:06:42 GMT white people are child molesters

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 24 Sep 2015 10:31:33 GMT Is it true that he is so jealous of Mike Trout that he steals Trout's sweaty jock straps after games and sniffs them hoping to regain the swing he had with the Cardinals?

Edit Your Profile report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 24 Sep 2015 10:30:19 GMT He has had a shocking career decline! Is it safe to assume that he was a juicer during his years with the Cardinals? He sucks now! Hard to believe he once had a career OBP in excess of .400.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 20 Sep 2015 23:24:57 GMT Htting under 240 obp barely above 300 rod is hitting better than him. Plus he's looking fat now too

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 16 Sep 2015 07:43:24 GMT Angels version of Albert Pujols sucks. No doubt. He phones in has at bats. He takes fat pitches down the middle and hacks at shitty pitches like he's just there to collect a pay check. He hits like a pussy now.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 06 Sep 2015 05:09:33 GMT swings at bad pitches,  his body is big but looks like hes going to snap in half, fast decline, still some power, bats 200 with men in scoring pos. he's painful to watch now, angels got screwed with the money they paid him and hamilton

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 19 Aug 2015 00:53:33 GMT Gah Albert sure loves other dudes poo holes

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 18 Aug 2015 04:33:16 GMT Saw albert pujols last night on TV. Looks like he's been eating good. I thought I was watching an old man playing.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 12 Aug 2015 02:30:03 GMT Please just retire...painful to watch

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 19 Jul 2015 03:15:46 GMT Claire O'Brien, Berkeley, California

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 26 Jun 2015 01:41:05 GMT KC fans hate his guts and are blackballing him.💣

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 24 Jun 2015 06:39:12 GMT 12 homers in the month of June with 23 on the season and he's not even in the running for the all star game? Shame shame

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sun, 21 Jun 2015 00:32:50 GMT Yep. His numbers were declining with age. He got angry when they called the Angels the "Mike Trout Show." Suddenly, he's on pace for 50 homers again.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 20 Jun 2015 22:35:10 GMT Pujols is clearly a juicer, the fact that some people think he's clean is ridiculous, they are delusional.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sat, 20 Jun 2015 10:17:58 GMT Mlb needs to test his urine...every 6 hours for 7 straight days! 💉 Jack Clark knew.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 05 Jun 2015 00:23:32 GMT deport this spic

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 04 Jun 2015 20:37:04 GMT Angel's living legend pujols

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 02 Jun 2015 14:35:53 GMT living dead Pujols He-Ha!!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 01 Jun 2015 03:17:21 GMT stupid chubby south american immigrant shit eater

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 01 Jun 2015 02:02:02 GMT Fat pos...u suck

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 29 May 2015 17:09:46 GMT Hamilton and Pujols, could have been spent on better pitching and young hitting talent. Screw em both

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 28 May 2015 03:39:05 GMT GIDP specialist ...go back to St. Louis u stupid faggot

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 28 May 2015 03:38:31 GMT Break ur leg and die u stupid fat f uck

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 28 May 2015 03:12:36 GMT Useless fat f uck

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 24 May 2015 19:02:12 GMT Overrated fat f uck, thanks a lot cardinals 😡

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 08 May 2015 07:14:46 GMT Greed ate him up and ruined his perfect life. Nobody in St. Louis misses the turncoat.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 04 May 2015 17:14:57 GMT Albert was one of the best things to happen to Cardinal baseball in many years. Helped us get to two World Series (though other players were more important in winning them). But Cardinals management knew he was in decline, so they let him move on. Sorry for the Angels, who are now strapped with an overpaid, lacklustre one-time superstar.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 08 Apr 2015 22:09:38 GMT Pujols totally stabbed St. Louis Cardinals in the back!  What an Asshole!!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 06 Apr 2015 20:12:29 GMT It is Opening Day today. I'm not a big baseball fan, and the Angels  Stadium is just a few miles away from me. It's been a long time since I've been to a a ball game. I think the new owner Arte is a clown, and I also think Pujols is overpaid and over-rated. The newspaper has been writing articles about Tout and I love it. I forecast Pujols headlines to be "Pujols strikes out", "Pujols hits a double", etc. In other words, ordinary everyday shit except everyone else gets paid millions less.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 22 Dec 2014 13:41:24 GMT Love all this gay talk for more gay talk call me Shawn @ 573-424-7878 men with big bats !

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 25 Oct 2014 23:41:54 GMT Al Pujols is the best right-handed hitter to walk this planet! I dare anyone to deny this! Accept it!!!!!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 25 Oct 2014 13:46:24 GMT Pujols knows everyone hates him, even in St, Louis. He used. those poor kid' . He clams he cares. in the pujols family foundation. but he steals money from that to. Someone needs to beat the f ucken shit out of him . Kick his ass out of the U.S. and every time he comes back. More ass beatings.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 25 Oct 2014 13:43:38 GMT GET OUT OF BASEBALL. AND OUT OF THIS COUNTRY. RAPISTS. TO EVERY CHILD.WITH DOWN SYNDROME. YOU ARE NOT A CHRISTIAN THE WAY YOU TREAT. PEOPLE, LEAVE PEOPLE. ALONE AND F UCKEN KILL YOURSELF

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 24 Oct 2014 16:01:11 GMT Disappointment

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 09 Oct 2014 18:47:46 GMT what a loser! If by any luck he gets on base its unlikely he will make to the next base since he seems to be carrying a piano on his back!

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 07 Oct 2014 05:36:33 GMT Most overrated is true and accurate. He reeks

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 07 Oct 2014 00:17:03 GMT WS 1982. 1983-2000 5 playoff appearances, 0 WS. 2001-2011 7 playoff appearances, 2 WS. Aka twice as many WS as in the last 40+ years........"overrated."

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 07 Oct 2014 00:13:53 GMT .....btw we've won just as many world series as he has since he left. Zero. So I'm not sure what "just fine" means. Maybe you mean "just fine" as in how we were "just fine" since 1982 when he came along and hand delivered a pair of world series to us..

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 07 Oct 2014 00:03:02 GMT Umm no. Not at all overrated when he was in StL. Best first 11 years of any player. Ever.........ever. You obviously know nothing about baseball or its history. I'm glad the greedy bastard is gone too, but to say overrated....you're dumb. He might not be the best in the game anymore, but he's still putting up numbers that are better than 90% of baseball.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 05 Oct 2014 23:38:05 GMT Glad that pos left my cardinals team. Everyone thought we would suck without him but looks like we're doing just fine. Overrated overpaid fag.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 04 Oct 2014 03:30:32 GMT stupid ass fat f uck...you suck ! only reason u playing 'cause u sucking mike scioscia's dick....have aids both of u and die u f ucken faggot

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 04 Oct 2014 03:23:51 GMT F uck u Fat Albert and mike scioscia....hope K.C win the series and the this stupid ass manager

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 03 Oct 2014 22:59:11 GMT Albert has a lot of money, so don't get so upset and accept itt

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 03 Oct 2014 03:59:23 GMT Stupid Angles signing this f ucken POS for $250 mil....break ur leg and die u facken faggot. Suck mike S dick u f ucken faggot

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 03 Oct 2014 03:57:21 GMT Overrated motherf ucker.... Go back to St. Louis u f ucken faggot.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 03 Oct 2014 03:56:28 GMT UR A F UCKEN RETARD..... F uck u and Mike S. Die u d ucken bitches

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 06 Sep 2014 02:53:09 GMT Go back to St. Louis u POS

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 04 Sep 2014 09:03:00 GMT Every at bat agaisnt Houston last night he strikes out swinging. And even still, 3 straight pitches each time. They dont even respect him.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 19 Aug 2014 05:23:05 GMT DP "Rally Killer" Pujols! I love it.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 01 Jul 2014 22:18:49 GMT man, bases loaded again, albert pujols at bat.....BINGO just like clockwork....weak grounder into double play. The ultiate RALLY KILLER. Pujols used to be great at filling up the books with hollow stats, now he's great at nothing---besides killing rallies and hitting into DP's.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 01 Jul 2014 19:22:24 GMT Pooholes constantly showing how AL pitching is clearly dominant and how he was clearly taking steroids in ST. Louis. Doesn't deserve to ever be in the HOF. Washed up has been who needs to retire and end his contract like he said he would if he sucked.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 10 Jun 2014 16:26:43 GMT He's not clutch. If you're winning or losing by 8 runs, and nobody is on base, Albert is a superstar. I'm so glad he's not on the Cardinals anymore.

report abuse   delete

Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 15 Apr 2014 03:22:44 GMT The guy who talked about having a career ending injury-- THANK YOU!!! Am glad you feel the same

Dustin Diamond Was Sentenced to Four Months in Prison for a Bar Stabbing

Diamond was sentenced to four months in a Wisconsin prison for stabbing a man with a switchblade during an altercation at a bar in December 2014.  I wonder how long it will take before he is pimped out to the horny gay men at the prison in exchange for cigarettes?

Image from a SBTB Storyboard!

I heard that the following image was taken from a storyboard for an episode from the 7th season of Saved By The Bell: The New Class.  Apparently the scene called for a transfer student to pull down his pants so that Screech could tongue his anus.  However, the protagonist was to rip a powerful fart in Screech's face before the anus tonguing was to begin!  I bet that greedy fart sniffer, Dustin Diamond, wrote the script for this episode!

Does anyone else have additional information regarding whether this really was from a SBTB storyboard?

Demented Weirdos Caught Hanging Out in Outhouse Toilets

I recently heard about a couple weirdos who were arrested after being caught hanging out in the toilet water in outhouses. Apparently they wanted to stand in the filthy water while random strangers pissed and shit on them! Both of these demented freaks make me think of Screech, as it sounds like something he would have done on Saved By The Bell: The New Class.

The first story is about Gary Moody, a man arrested in 2005 in New Hampshire:

Man Pulled From Women's Outhouse Tank
Teenager Reports Seeing Man's Face In Toilet

POSTED: 4:56 pm EDT June 28, 2005
UPDATED: 6:18 pm EDT June 28, 2005

ALBANY, N.H. -- A man is facing charges after police said they pulled him from a tank under a women's toilet that was filled with human waste.

Police said that Gary Moody, 45, was under a log cabin outhouse off the Kancamagas Highway in Albany.

"You can draw your own conclusions as to the conditions we encountered," said Capt. John Hebert, of the Carroll County Sheriff's Department.

Police said that they got a call from the parents of a teenage girl who said that when she went to use the facilities, she saw Moody's face staring back at her from the hole.

Moody was hosed off before police cuffed him.

"It's a very filthy environment, and before we put anybody in contact with him, we had to decontaminate him," Hebert said. "We treated him as if he were hazardous material."

Hikers using the outhouse on Tuesday said that the story was enough to make their stomachs turn.

"He just must be sick to put yourself in that muck. Disgusting," said Harriett Voysey, of New Jersey.

Police said they don't know how long Moody was in the tank, but they said the door to it was locked, which means he must have gone in through the toilet. They said they don't know why he was there.

"I started this business in 1980, and I have never in my career encountered anybody in this type of situation," Hebert said.

Police charged Moody with criminal trespass, and they said he could face more charges. He is out on bail and due back in court next month.

The second story is about Donald H. Baker, a man arrested in 1987 in California:

My Two Cents
by Hosey R. Horton

It takes all kinds of people, but...

It may just be my imagination, or maybe it's all due to the fact that since I'm not over the mid-century mark, I just don't remember all that well how things were when I was a youth.

Whatever the truth of the matter, it does seem as if there are far more than two but crooks around than there ever were. And it also seems as if there's more weirdos around, too; some of them just weird and some of them somewhat dangerous.  

New depths - no pun intended - were reached recently by a California man who, dressed in plastic with surgical gloves, was dragged out from beneath a woman's outhouse at Montana de Oro State Park and arrested.

Donald H. Baker, San Luis Obispo County officials said, was sitting on crates beneath a woman's outhouse up to this waist in muck, ostensibly in an effort to get his kicks by watching women go to the bathroom,

Rangers at the park, after forcibly removing Baker from the outhouse, hosed him off with a garden hose and then turned him over to deputies who arrested him.

Can you imagine how that poor deputy felt with Baker smelling up the back seat during the drive to the jail house? Gas masks will probably take on a new meaning in San Luis Obispo County.

When last heard of, Baker was whiling away his time in jail on charges of loitering.  You can almost imagine a jailhouse conversation. "What are you in for?" someone asks Baker. "Loitering,: he replies.

Topping the story of someone who's weird enough to crawl under an outhouse will be tough, maybe impossible, but there's a lot of other weirdness around, and we're not even talking about the two clowns now doing their best to make Spokane Rape City U.S.A. on the city's northside.

Consider for example the saga of singer Michael Jackson ...

Classic "Remember When" Spankworthy Posts

Rocco informed me that he recently discovered the following classic "Remember When"posts when he searched for the phrase "screech mr. b spray fart" on google.com! These posts are from 2007 - I believe that the first post was authored by Dner and the second was authored by Rocco.

"Screech's workout"

Hey Scrotum, remember that episode that started with Slater throwing you into the stagnant, shit-filled duckpond for the umpteenth time because he hated your face? Remember how all your peers laughed at you as crawled out of the muck? Remember how that black nerd threw a rock at your chin and snorted with laughter til his nose started running and his glasses fell off? Remember how you decided you would learn how to stand up for yourself? Remember how you went to Coach Sonski and asked if he would train you up? Remember when he said "No problem, Samual, I'll make a real man of you, just be back here tomorrow, but be ready for some serious blood, sweat and tears"

Remember how you showed up bright and enthusiastic to the gym the next day, fitted it in your finest zubaz and feeling that your life was finally taking a turn for the better? Remember how Coach Sonski swaggered into the gym from the changing room, wearing only a filthy bathmat for a loincloth, absolutely dripping with sweat? Remember how he explained he'd just sat in the changing room, surrounded by used jockstraps, with the radiators turned up full, for three hours in advance of your appointment? Remember how you screwed up your face in that stupid, confused way that was supposed to be funny? Remember how you said "I'm sorry, Coach Sonski, I don't understand?" Remember how he said "Does this make sense, FAGNUTS?" and bodyslammed you into a box of shotputts? Remember how he wrenched you up by your jewfro and started wiping down his sweaty taint, ass, inner-thighs and bald head with your pursed lips, taking extra care to make sure that your Gonzo nose sampled the aromatic delights of his pungent essence? Remember how he said "Well, that's the sweat and tears dealt with, now for the blood,"? Remember how he sat on your chest and aimed his stump of an erection at your face? Remember how he rampantly pounded his parson until he shot some well-matured daddy batter all over your face? Remember how the seed was laced with blood because Sonski had had untreated testicular cancer for months? Remember how Sonski picked you up and rammed you into the basketball hoop so that you dangled from your shoulders? Remember how he left the gym and you thought it was all finally over? Remember how he returned a few minutes later with a stepladder, accompanied by Tuttle and Belding, who were grinning like a pair of demented goons? Remember how they each took it turn to climb the stepladder and 'slam dunk' their nuts into your gasping mouth? Remember how Sonski got overexcited and jumped into the air, landing ass-first on your head and sending you crashing to the floor? Remember how you suffered multiple fractures and damn near broke your neck? Remember how Belding wrote a letter to your mother, telling her you'd broken into the gym after school hours and taken it upon youself to start horsing around with the equipment? Remember how he explained that you'd injured yourself in the process, on account of being an incompetant dumbass? Remember how she naturally believed him and confiscated your computer, keyboard and the few remaining things that afforded you some happiness in life as a punishment? You sure learned the true value of sportsmanship that day!

"Malibu Sands"

Screech,
Remember when you and the gang spent the summer at the Malibu Sands beach club? Remember how you were constantly trying to sneak away from your job as a waiter so you could check out Slater in his lifeguard outfit? Remember how mean your new boss Mr. Corosi was to you? Remeber how mad he got when he caught you spying on Slater while rubbing your crotch? Remember how he punched you in the back of your jew fro and began grinding his obese body against you. Remember how his breath smelled of hot dogs and onions as he yelled "Powers!!! Get your fucking scrawny ass back to work!!! I'm not paying you to check out Slaters muscles you fucking faggot!" Remember how Slater heard this and looked back while giving Mr. Corosi a thumbs up sign? Remember how you urinated in your pants and ran back into the clubhouse and into the locker room?

Remember how once in the locker room you ran into Zack? Remember how Zack was scheming to get Mr. Corosi to sell him his Mustang convertible on the cheap? Remember when Zack saw you crying you became even more upset that he didn't ask you what was wrong? Instead Zack kept talking about his plan to get the Mustang and when you sat down next to him he farted on you? Remember how you smelled Zack's fart and instantly forget about how Mr. Corosi had treated you? Remember how aroused you became as the meaty fart smell wafted into the nostrils of your gonzo nose? Remember how Zack told you his master plan was to play volleyball against a rival club, while making a large wager that you would win? Remember how he wanted all of the gang to play, even you! Remember how strange you found it that the club seemed to have competitions that always seemed to have predominentely staff involved in them, unlike any other country club in the world? Remember how at first you wanted to beg off playing volleyball but instead began to picture Slater playing, his muscles flexing while he jumped in the air to hit the ball? Remember how you pictured yourself finally having an all access pass to stand behind Slater and stare at his ass without anyone like Mr. Corosi to yell at you! Remember how excited you got and you told Zack you would do it? Remember how Zack farted on you again and said, "Great Screech, I've gotta get the rest of the team together you piece of shit!" Remember how for some reasons that comment didn't even bother you?

Remember later that day while hanging out in the employee lounge Zack came in with some gangly looking cocksucker? Remember how excited you got when you saw the 6 ft 7 giant? Remember how he was sitting right next to you as Zack explained that he was going to be your teams ringer? Remember how all you could focus on was the new guys enormous feet and how close they were to your ass? Remember how you tried to move your ass over slowly so that your ass would rub up against his foot? Remember how excited you got thinking that maybe one of his big toes would penetrated your ass and give you extereme pleasure? Remember when your plan as always went awry and you rolled onto the new guys foot? Remember how he yelped in pain and you yelled "Zoinks!" as the gang rushed to the new guys aid? Remember how you said "Oopsie, my mistake" in that cutesy voice you used to try to sound like a retarded child? Remember how it didn't work and you quickly found Zack and Slater standing over you with anger in their eyes. Remember how the girls hovered over you as well? Remember when you thought you were in for a pummeling but instead Zack stepped in and said it was just a mistake and that everyone forgave you? Remember how happy you were to have such great friends?

Remember as you went to leave with a smile on your face Zack even opened and held the door for you? Remember how that smile quickly faded when you got into the doorway and Zack slamed the door on you, crushing your body in the doorway? Remeber how Zack repeatedly tried to close the door as you screamed in pain? Remember how Slater came over and ripped off your employee uniform pants exposing your ass and miniscule penis? Remember how Jessie rushed over and you thought for sure she would help you as you dangled in the doorway, with your face on one side and your ass and legs still in the employee lounge? Remember when to your horror Jessie started helping Zack crush you in the doorway? Remember how you screamed even louder as you heard a rib or two crack? Remember when you felt intense pain coming from your ass and realized that Slater was fucking you unmercifully? Remember how your screams brought an angry Mr. Corosi down the hall to see what all the noise was about? Remember when he saw you sticking out of the doorway and he became aroused? Remember when you noticed that walking behind him was his good friend Mr. Belding. Remember when Mr. B said "hey hey hey what is going on here?" And you believed that he would save you? Remember when he said to Mr. Corosi, "I deal with this all the time at Bayside, let me take care of this." Remember how greatfull you were to hear this because Lisa and Kelly had joined Zack and Jessie in forcing their weight on the door in an attempt to crush you? Remember how Mr. B stepped up to your face which was at the same height as his crotch? Remember how he said he was going to pull you through the doorway, but you became concerned when he dropped his pants? Remember when your experience got much worse when the obese Mr. Corosi also dropped his pants and Mr. B and he began shoving their cocks into your mouth while yanking the shit out of your jewfro? Remember how they laughed while yelling "Pull, Pull, Pull" while ripping the hair out of your head? Remember the laughter you heard from everyone while your entire body felt as though it was being hit with a flamethrower? Remember how the tall guy hobbled over and somehow began having a swordfight with Slater in your ass? Remember how you thought how horrible this all was, two men were tearing up your ass, two men were fucking your mouth and ripping out your hair, and four people were still crushing you with a door? Remember when you noticed a plant moving and realized that behind it Mr. Tuttle was vigoriously jacking off? Remember how he popped out from behind the plant and rushed over in time for Mr. Belding, Corosi, and Tuttle to all jizz all over your damaged jew fro and face? Remember how at the same time Slater and tall guy came in your ass? Remember how the girls and Zack kept slamming the door on you? Remember how you figured it was all over, but Mr. Tuttle bent over and coated you in a mucus filled diareahh spray? Remember how you felt the most intense pain coming from your ass and realized that Slater had stuck a volleyball in your ass? Remember how everyone started to laugh and high five each other and the door slamming finally stopped and you collapsed to the floor?

Remember when the next thing you remembered you were waking up in the hospital after having the volleyball surgically removed from your ass? Remember how the gang and the doctors were all there smiling at you as you woke up and how they pointed at you and called you a faggot over and over again? Remember how you realized how Belding had told the hospital that you were a complete faggot and had stuck the ball up your ass yourself? Remember how you begain to cry as the gang walked out of your hospital room? Remember how Zack peeled off from the gang and walked over to you? Remember how you thought for sure he was going to apologize? Remember how wrong you were when instead he aimed his ass at your face and farted? Remember him saying,"That will teach you to fuck up my car deal your gonzo nozed faggot!" Remember his walking out the door laughing while you tried to tried to smell the fart? Remember how you began to cry even harder when you realized that Belding and Corosi had broken your nose and you couldn't smell? You sure learned not to mess with a guys car deal that day!