Queer Posts From the How to be Punk Forum - Part 3

I found even more spank-tastic posts in the How to be Punk forum:

Bobby said May 25, 2020 @ 10:00 pm
I feel bad for you TJ Maxx manager. The last thing you need is to have your store over run with gangs of insane rump rangers. I was out today for a nice bike ride and everywhere I went there were dozens of demented queers farting on each other, having gay sex, eating dong shaped foods, tounging each others anus’s, belching into each others assholes, nude leapfrog, and many other ridiculous homosexual behaviors. The common denominator was the vast majority of them were wearing pee stained jock straps on their faces! It’s an abomination.

Jay said May 25, 2020 @ 5:08 am
I am a store manager at TJ Maxx. My store recently reopened after being shut for two months as a result of the Coronavirus lockdowns. Prior to the lockdowns, we would sell approximately 25 packages of Calvin Klein jockstraps per week. However, we sold more than 200 packages of jockstraps during our first week after reopening! And the clientele has been overwhelming gay, most of whom are effeminate raging homosexuals! The strange thing is that most of these demented queers are already wearing pee-stained jockstraps on their faces when they walk in the store. But they buy every package of jockstraps that they see and they play grab-ass with each other while shopping in my store. I must warn you not to use the men’s room at my store as for the past week as these faggots have been loitering in there while ripping ass on each other and tongue-in-cheek each other’s anuses.

Anonymous said May 24, 2020 @ 2:28 pm
WTFF ib up with this stupidd gay shit stip it you retartded faggots straights ruke rule

Help said May 24, 2020 @ 2:27 pm
Okay, thanks David. I just had some fun with them this morning! Check out our website: TheresALEGOInMyPants.com

CoronaFARTz said May 24, 2020 @ 11:51 am
I just saw something really amazing happening in town today. There were two guys, wearing jockstraps on their faces, doing coronafart leapfrog WHILE STAYING 6 FEET APART!!!!

Toxic Tom said May 24, 2020 @ 7:05 am
Dudes!! Coronatime baby! This is the time for us to take action to turn the tables and push straight people into the closet, and make queer love the norm! The jockstrap face mask is a symbol of those warriors who have joined this cause! I myself wear a skidmarked jock stop while I frolick nude in parks, store, and alleyways with my band of queer brothers. Today my friends and I were playing nude leapfrog in a park and some homophobes yelled at us! Months ago we may have backed down, but today we stood our ground. To refute their words of hatred I leapfrogged my friend and let loose a massive fart in his face. But then I took it further. I leapfrogged the next friend in line and when my ass was mere inches from my face I let loose a torrent of diarrhea. This caused the homophobes to flee the park, giving myself and our cause a new victory!

David Dookie said May 24, 2020 @ 1:48 am
Bud you should feel lucky you have a LEGO store where hot gay men stick the toys down their pants. That is highly erotic. If for one am thrilled with the forward momentum the gay movement has taken during this pandemic. The gay community has seized the day I order to normalize lovely things like huffing farts, hot man action in parks, and sticking toys down their pants. Those legos will likely be flavored with ball and ass juice. Just the thought of which has me sporting wood. Pizza guy you should be thankful the gay community is patronizing your business and not worry about their private activities, even if they take place out in the open, 6 feet from your front door. I highly doubt you will lose business and in fact when word gets around that your pepperoni pizza makes magnificent corona fueled farts you will likely have a line out the door. Let’s all get along everyone.

Help said May 23, 2020 @ 9:38 pm
Hi! I was at my local LEGO store and saw something weird going on. There were two guys outside shoving LEGO minifigures down their pants. When I asked what they were doing, they told me they were “LEGO store employees, cleaning up the Legos.” I was appalled and quickly left the store, but not before I saw them rubbing dirty jock straps in their faces. What should I do?

Carbon Fiber said May 23, 2020 @ 10:04 am
Today I went to the supermarket and had an insane experience. Outside the supermarket, before I could enter, was a group of guys wearing pink mesh tank tops, Zubaz pants, and name tags from the store. They told me before I entered I had to be “tested” for the coronavirus. I had never heard of this and asked if they were going to do a nasal swab. I was told no, that I would need a produce a fart and one of them would then smell it and determine if I had the virus. I felt this was ridiculous but really needed to get some supplies. One of the guys got on his hands and knees and got behind me with his face right at my ass. I ripped a pretty pathetic fart, but it still caused this weirdo to moan and fall to the ground before jizzing his pants. The other guys then let me enter the store telling me that was the sign I was “negative”. I went into the store and did my shopping. On my way out I mentioned this to a manager and asked why he had guys sniffing farts outside. He said they had no such thing, and that deranged queers kept showing up and setting up these “checkpoints”. When I went back out I had to leave from the other entrance but I looked across to the entrance had come in at and could see those weirdos were still at it, and two of them were now engaged in hard core man action. I was disgusted at how queer men are using this pandemic to trick straight men into participating in their sexual deviancy!

Donald said May 22, 2020 @ 4:52 pm
I saw an advertisement for Jockey's ice cream shop in the newspaper today. They advertise that they are now using an ice cream scoop made from an athletic supporter which Ben Roethlisberger has worn and which has been soaked with Big Ben's ball sweat and has apparently never been washed. The advertisement also states that any patrons who come in wearing a pee stained jock strap on their face will receive a 10% discount! They was also a mention of a new ice cream flavor - "Coronafart Mint Chocolate Chip"! I don't know why these demented weirdos aren't taking the lockdowns more seriously!

Luigi said May 22, 2020 @ 12:10 am
Today was the last straw. Those idiot gay men were of course here again for their daily large pepperoni pizza. The one they take right out front to eat, then rip farts on each other. They come in wearing stained jockstraps as the mandatory face coverings. Today when they placed their order one of them asked if I could add some “pooperoni” to their pie. I told him I already had the pepperoni part. He said no “pooperoni” and when I asked what the hell that was he explained he wanted me to take a dump, then slice it into slices, put it on their pizza, and cook it. When I told him I would not do such a disgusting thing he shrugged and played grab ass with his buddy. Once I gave them their large pepperoni pizza they went out side and did their normal antics. Ridiculously loud farts followed by yells of “suck down that coronafart faggot!” This normally is followed by the one who was farted on moaning and groaning and flopping around on the ground like a fish out of water. It’s ridiculous. They have been doing this for two weeks now and the police tell me they can do nothing as they wear some kind of face covering and aren’t doing anything illegal. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these degenerates?

Donald said May 21, 2020 @ 3:30 am
It was around 80 degrees where I live last weekend and although most restaurants are closed, I did find an ice cream shop. I had to travel to a gay area of my city as that was the only ice cream place open. The name of the ice cream shop was “Jockey’s.” When I walked in to Jockey’s, I was greeted by several employees wear wearing sweaty jock straps on their faces. I asked an employee if he was wearing a jock strap on his face as a mask to protect himself from the Coronavirus, but he said “nope.” Although I thought it was odd, I really wanted some ice cream, so I walked to the counter and ordered a scoop of chocolate chocolate chip ice cream. The employee then pulled out an unusual scoop - it was an athletic cup as the scoop end attached to a handle! The employee also claimed that Mark McGwire had worn the jock strap and that it had never been washed! Although I was disgusted, I still wanted ice cream so I paid and then left with a big scoop of it. It was a very strange experience!!

CoronaFARTs said May 20, 2020 @ 3:13 pm
I was walking around my town square and saw something happening in the fountain. On further inspection, I realized that it was a group of four guys, all naked and chewing on dirty jockstraps. should I alert the police?

Pepperoni Tony said May 20, 2020 @ 9:09 am
I walked past a temporarily closed dive bar where punk cover bands often play. As I walked past I heard a commotion in an alley off to the side. I looked over and saw a group of four guys, two of whom were wearing jock straps over their mouths, each of which has bright yellow pee stains. Another dude was wearing a pair of tighty-whiteys around his face, although those tighty whiteys clearly had dark dookie stains on them. The remaining guy wasn't wearing anything on his face. The three who were wearing makeshift masks were teaming up on the other guy in some type of demented homosexual orgy. The three guys had their pants pulled down around their ankles and had their bare asses pressed up against the other guy's face! I heard several loud farts accompanied by dirty talk, such as "Yeah, take that Corona fart!" and "Inhale my Corona juice, you rim goblin!" The guy who was on the receiving end of the farts then fell over into a puddle of urine which had been left by a homeless man and then started convulsing while jizzing his pants as he was apparently experiencing extreme pleasure. I quickly walked away to get away from those mentally deranged weirdos as they were knowing spreading the Coronavirus!!!

Toxic Tony said May 20, 2020 @ 2:50 am
Luigi, can you please provide the location of your pizza parlor? I’d like to come by and do some research. Ugggggghhhh, I just lost a load thinking about those noxious pepperoni flavored corona farts!

Luigi said May 19, 2020 @ 3:26 pm
I own a pizza parlor and have only been open for takeout. I’ve noticed a new clientele lately. These fruity weirdos come in to pick up large pepperoni pizzas. They tend to be dressed in spandex, and mesh tank tops. They take their pizza outside and then gobble it up. Then they wait. Once some farts have brewed they stand there ripping ass in each other’s faces. I’m sure this is spreading the Coronavirus as I hear them say “eat that coronafart” or “smell that pepperoni corona baby”. Many times the guy getting farted in falls over in some kind orgasmic seizure. This repulsive behavior has chased away many of my regular customers! I’m hoping the punks in here can help me!

uhh said May 19, 2020 @ 1:28 am
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ummmmmm uhh hmmmmmm

Pee Stain said May 18, 2020 @ 9:01 am
My lover and I enjoy listening to records of The Ramones and other punk bands while sitting around just in our jock straps. The other day it was in the mid-80s and we didn't have air conditioning turned on. We were each sweaty profusely while making out - I could feel sweat dripping out of the crack of my ass onto the couch and my cotton jock strap quickly got soaked. After getting it on, we each wore each other's sweaty jock strap on our faces and went shopping at Dollar General. Customers stared at us as though we were perverts - it was so hot!!!!!

Screech Lover said May 18, 2020 @ 1:02 am
I just busted a nut watching the old episode of Saved by the Bell the New Class where Mr. Belding rode a Harley and dressed as a biker. It was so hot when Screech angered Mr. B by repeatedly yelling “Zoinks” while Mr. B was trying to rev his new motorcycle. (Why Mr. B had his new bike in The Max was never explained). After yelling “Zoinks” for the hundredth time Mr. B punched Screech in his giant hook nose, knocking him over. Then Mr. B fired up the Harley and did a massive burnout on Screech, shredding his Zubaz pants, and ridiculous shirt. As Screech screamed in pain Mr. B got off the bike and began ass raping Screech while the entire crowd at The Max cheered with many of the male occupants jerking off! It was so hot! At the end Mr. B got back on his bike, and positioned it so the tailpipe was in Screech’s face. He then revved it until it backfire in Screech’s face leaving a giant black soot impression. He then gunned it out of there. Mr. Belding was one cool cat back then.

Johnny Rotten said May 17, 2020 @ 7:51 am
Hey there, guv'nor! This is Johnny Rotten from the Sex Pistols, the famous punk band. I hate spammers and will fire my seed down the spammer's throat. I will also fart in his face for training purposes.

Brutus said May 17, 2020 @ 1:36 am
I can’t believe the moderator of this board has allowed all that spam to sit there, making the various reports on deviant homosexual behavior harder to find. Today I was out and a I saw a pack of guys riding pink “crotch rocket” motorcycles. They all had jock straps on their faces in place of masks and I could see pee stains on some of them. They also had pink leather jackets on. When the passed me I could see the name “Booty Bandits” on the back of each of their jackets. Has anyone else spotted this queer motorcycle gang? They were driving recklessly, playing grab ass with each other, and one guy even leaned his ass off his bike so he could take a dump out of some flap in his black leather pants! I’m wondering if they are a new gang who has also taken advantage of lax law enforcement during this awful pandemic?!

Pepperoni Tony said May 16, 2020 @ 9:01 pm
Spammer, you should be in prison for your hate crime against the gay community! You are so lucky Obama isn’t still President as his administration would take this far more seriously than the Trump administration!!!

qwerty said May 16, 2020 @ 1:57 pm
Now that this thing is spammed, let’s stop talking about STUPID GAY ASSHOLES.

Spammer said May 16, 2020 @ 1:56 pm
Hi! I am here to spam the stupid “gestbook.”
Hi! I am here to spam the stupid “gestbook.”
...

Spammer said May 16, 2020 @ 1:55 pm
Hi! I am here to spam the stupid “gestbook.”
Hi! I am here to spam the stupid “gestbook.”
Hi! I am here to spam the stupid “gestbook.”
...

Spammer said May 16, 2020 @ 1:55 pm
Hi! I am here to spam the stupid “gestbook.”
Hi! I am here to spam the stupid “gestbook.”
...

Spammer said May 16, 2020 @ 1:55 pm
Hi! I am here to spam the stupid “gestbook.”

Gary said May 15, 2020 @ 7:22 pm
Michael Oliver, the guy who played the kid in the early 1990s Problem Child movies grew up to be a weird-looking adult. He has a long mullet and serious b.o. Nobody wants to cast him anymore, so he became a roadie for a band in Los Angeles. I remember hearing a few years ago that the fans of punk bands would always harass him as a joke. People would stand near him at concerts and would intentionally drop ass before walking away and would then laugh at his reaction. I wonder whether he will start wearing a mask or a jock strap on his face when the economy back up so that he can protect himself from the Coronavirus?

CoronaFart said May 15, 2020 @ 5:46 pm
Anonymous, whats wrong with u; theh guessbiok is 4 everyone

TrumpSuckz said May 15, 2020 @ 5:45 pm
oh u were joking lol

Gay Guys Wearing Athletic Cups on Their Faces

There is a big trend within the gay community where gay men where athletic cups on their faces.  I believe that this trend was started when Screech wore the athletic cup from Slater's sweaty jock strap on his face after Bayside beat valley in the uber homoerotic episode of Saved By The Bell!

Dustin Diamond's Enormous Hook Nose

One of Dustin Diamond's trademark physical features is his enormous hook nose.  I captured this image of Diamond's hook nose from video of a news segment about Dennis Haskins.

Picture of Screech Holding Mr. Belding's Underwear

This is a nice picture of Screech holding a pair of Mr. Belding's underwear.  I believe that this picture was taken during one of the later seasons of Saved By The Bell: The New Class when Mr. Belding had become morbidly obese, ballooning to 450 lbs.

Elvis Presley's Pee-Stained Underwear

A pair of pee-stained underwear worn by Elvis Presley in 1977 went on the auction block in 2012.  Apparently Elvis wore this underwear under a jump suit during a concert and he pissed his pants during the concert.  This pair of underwear was on display at the Elvis-A-Rama museum in Nevada.  I wonder how big the urine stains were on Mr. Belding's underwear???

Queer Posts From the How to be Punk Forum - Part 2

I found more hot spank-worthy posts in the How to be Punk forum:

Carbon Fiber said May 15, 2020 @ 12:39 am
Today I was speaking with a gym coach at a local high school, and he informed me his locker room had been broken into and the only thing they took were used jock straps. It seems there is an epidemic where deranged gay men are taking advantage of regulations regarding wearing face masks. These deranged weirdos are wearing used jock straps to derive sexual pleasure! I’ve seen dozens of weirdos doing this and I believe it’s disgusting. Hopefully president Trump passes a law to throw these degenerates into prison!

Gary said May 14, 2020 @ 3:50 am
Anonymous, how dare you attack Andrew! He’s doing the Lord’s work by operating this fine website for fans of punk music. If you were a true fan of punk music, you would appreciate that an eclectic group of people follow the genre. There was a time where fans of punk music often had spiky hair or colored streaks in their hair. But times change and the fans of punk music have also evolved. The country has changed in recent years and now there are many mentally deranged homosexuals who love the music. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing as someone needs to purchase tickets so that punk bands can survive. But it does mean that more and more people who attend punk concerts are going to be the type of guys who loiter in men’s rooms trying to catch a glimpse of random strangers pissing at urinals or who loco themselves in a stall so they can pleasure themselves to the sounds and smells of someone in an adjacent stall taking a loud and smelly dump. You should really try to be more open and accepting of this alternative lifestyle.

Anonymous said May 13, 2020 @ 1:15 pm
Holy fucking shit, this is freakin’ horrible! WTF is going on here? Why is there SO MUCH gay bullshit?? Andrew!! Get the FUCK over here, and explain why this is happening??
If this site is gonna be like this...then I can’t visit anymore. It’s disgusting - polluted by gay retards. And I used to actually LIKE this site. Andrew, if you want punks to visit your site, you’d better get the fuck moving. Otherwise you’re gay LOL

TrumpSuckz said May 13, 2020 @ 12:59 pm
Hey Carbon Fiber! Did you know that you are a sad little fucker? Trump is an idiot. Fuck off.

Gary said May 13, 2020 @ 7:14 am
When I was in college I did some freelance work for the school's student newspaper. One time I was assigned to go to a club downtown and write a review of a performance by a queercore band called "Pansy Division." I had never heard of that band or queercore before, so it was totally new to me. When I showed up I discovered that I appeared to be the only heterosexual in the club, so I positioned myself so that I was standing with my back to a wall in order to protect my ass from any deviants. During the show, the lead singer pranced around the stage while he sang various dance songs. There was a makeshift mosh pit where people in the audience would jump up against each other - they appeared to be trying to jump so that their asses would hit someone in the chest while ripping ass. I thought it was nasty, but the guys in the mosh pit were really into it. I only stayed at the concert for about 45 minutes because the entire club started to smell like an anus from all of the heinous farts being released in the mosh pit.

Bob Buttocks said May 12, 2020 @ 11:09 pm
My favorite punk rock band was DD and the Dicksmokers. Their bass player was Dustin Diamond from “Saved by the Bell”. They would whip the crowd into a homoerotic frenzy with hits like “rim goblin”. I lost many a load at their shows!

British Bulldog said May 12, 2020 @ 11:41 am
No, he's dead you stupid bitch. :)

Chrissy said May 12, 2020 @ 11:40 am
My favorite punk rock band ever is Linkin Park and I think that their singer, Chester Bennington, is totally gorgeous - does anybody in here know if he's married?

Brian said May 11, 2020 @ 1:49 am
I went to see a Ramones cover band a few years ago when I visited Chicago. The cover band was pretty decent. During a brief intermission, I went to the men’s room to take a piss and there was someone in one of the bathroom stalls who must have had Irritable Bowel Syndrome or some type of stomach virus - that guy was moaning like he was in pain and was loudly spraying diarrhea. The bathroom smelled quite foul but I otherwise didn’t give this much thought until recently when I read that farting and flushing toilets can aerosolize droplets of Coronavirus. When the lockdowns end and punk bands resume having shows, we all need to be watchful for these types of incidents to keep ourselves healthy.

John said May 10, 2020 @ 5:29 am
I went for a 5-mile run today, my first run outside in months. After about 1.5 miles, I started running on a high school’s track and encountered a group of several young men who appeared to be of college age. They were sitting in one of the long jump pits and at first I thought they were wearing face masks. However when I got closer to them I realized they were actually wearing jock straps on their faces. It appeared as though they were sweaty jock straps which had been stolen from the high school’s football team! Then one of the young men pulled down his shorts and unleashed a monstrously loud fart in the face of another guy while he said, “Take that Coronavirus Fart, you BITCH!!” Several others also stood up and ripped ass on each other before sucking each other off and tonguing each other’s anuses! If any of those demented queers thought that wearing a sweaty jock strap on their faces would protect them from catching the Coronavirus, I think they were dead wrong.

Todd said May 9, 2020 @ 9:04 am
Gary, our world has turned quite strange with gay men everywhere taking what was once hidden away in homes and the dumpsters in back alleys into the open! I think it’s a total disgrace. Today I stopped at a gas station and while I was filling up my car two deviants at the next pump over were having hot man action. Then one stuck the gas pump up the others asshole and began pumping gas into his asshole. I got in my car and got the hell out of there. Who knows what happened next!

Gary said May 9, 2020 @ 6:32 am
I went to pick up groceries at a Ralph's grocery store this evening. On my way home, I drove past the Los Angeles National Cemetery when I looked over and saw that a bunch of guys were engaging in a homosexual orgy. I did see that a few of those dudes appeared to be taking their temperature, presumably to test for Coronavirus infections. I saw a couple guys taking their temperatures rectally with thermometers in their asses - they pulled them out and then looked at the readings. They must have been happy because they high-fived each other and then had a cock swordfight! However, they also passed their thermometers to a couple other dudes who put the thermometers in their mouths even though they had just been in some other dude's rectum! They both appeared to find exquisite pleasure in having the rectal thermometers in their mouths! They each proceeded to take the thermometers out of their mouths, read the thermometers, and then ripped ass in each other's face! Even though mentally-deranged degenerated are taking over America's parks and cemeteries during the nationwide lockdowns, at least some of them are checking themselves for symptoms of the Coronavirus!

Howard said May 8, 2020 @ 4:23 am
I went to McDonalds today. Only the Drive-thru is open and when I pulled up to menu board to place my order I heard grunting and a bunch of farts coming from behind it. I was able to back up to a position to where I could see behind the board and saw an obese older man pounding away at the ass of some younger poofy headed guy. The old guy was eating what I think were two Big Mac’s combined into one giant sandwich. When I finally placed my order and got to the window to get my food I reported this. The person at the window shrugged and reached down his pants and began fondling himself. I got the hell out of there!

Ralph said May 8, 2020 @ 4:00 am
Gary and Todd, it seems that during this epidemic the gay population of this country has used the quarantine to take over much of the country! I’m beginning to wonder if this pandemic was started by the homosexual population, as they are already full of various viruses and diseases and seem to be immune to the coronavirus! Either that or the Chinese hope to turn the mighty US into a bunch of limp wrists, ass eating, degenerates! Then they will attack and take over the world! We may have stumbled upon the greatest plot of all times!

Gary said May 8, 2020 @ 3:51 am
I grabbed Chipotle for dinner yesterday. After paying and walking out the door with my order to go, I heard a commotion in the alley to the side of the restaurant. I assumed that it was some type of wild animal, such as a raccoon or rat, but when I peered around the corner, I saw that it was a few dudes who were congregating next to a dumpster filled with rotting garbage. Those guys were wearing shirt and shoes, but none of them were wearing any pants. I saw one dork-looking white guy with a poofy afro and a big hook nose who was sitting on his knees while four other guys had their bare asses pressed up against his face and were unleashing Coronavirus farts in his face! Then three of them turned around and jerked off into his face while the guy in the middle uttered "Zoinks!" None of these weirdos were wearing masks or taking any efforts to protect themselves from spreading the Coronavirus or HIV. Then I saw a fat older man kick the guy in the stomach, causing the guy to double over in pain! The fat older guy then sprayed diarrhea onto the dork's guy's chest until it was covered in a thick layer of feces! The older man then pissed his name into the feces canvas on the dork's chest!!!

Todd said May 8, 2020 @ 12:19 am
Today I went to Whole Foods and found something odd. As I got close to aisle 6 I could hear music and there was a foul smell coming from it. When I got there there were orange cones blocking the entrance to the aisle and a sign that read “queers only”. When I looked down the aisle I could see about 15 guys in various forms of undress dancing to a boom box that was on a shelf. Someone had also hung one of those dance balls up and lights were hitting it. A few of the guys were totally nude and were bent over, while this obese guy with a Jew fro crawled behind them and belched into their assholes. One of the guys released a shit after receiving the ass belch and the fat guy gobbled it up! A few others were having hard core sex! Right there in aisle 6! Is this a normal activity to see happen at a Whole Foods? It was frustrating as a I needed a few things in that aisle and couldn’t get them!

Queer Fart Fetish Books

Many gay men are sexually aroused by sniffing farts and often loiter in men's rooms at highway rest stops where they are aroused by random truckers taking loud and smelly dumps.  I recently discovered that there are many e-books for sale on Amazon to gay men who have this fetish, such as the ones shown below:

Smelly Elevator: A Gay Fart Fetish Erotica 
What happens when two enemies from high school are trapped in a broken-down elevator? Do they ignore each other? Do they fight? Do they kiss and make up? Do they fart up the small car?  Anson, finally escaped the torment of high school, just found himself stuck with his number 1 tormentor from those days. Of course, he’s still as attractive as ever, even though he’s still a jerk.  Prince, having enrolled at the perfect university for himself and hoping to find true happiness has found himself being haunted by his past mistakes in the form of Anson. Maybe it’s time to confront them. Maybe he should finally talk to Anson. Maybe he shouldn’t have had what he did for lunch beforehand. ...

That Gassy Wrestler 
College wrestler Ozzy just won a wrestling tournament but he has his eye on the true prize, in the form of that cute guy who was sitting down in the stands watching him. Ozzy’s been getting a particular feeling whenever he sees the guy, not to mention he has a very lovely face that he’d just love to sit and fart on. Everett let himself be dragged to the wrestling tournament, if only to watch all those sweaty big guys toss each other around. He found himself observing one particular guy, that same guy Stephanie has her eyes on. But Everett gets a kick out of watching that guy, especially that giant butt he carries with him, strangely hoping that one day he’d be able to get up close and personal with it and Ozzy himself. ...

Spying, Sneaking, and Stinking
Reynaldo Rodriguez, suave superspy extraordinaire, completes mission after mission with little difficulty. However, 3 months after an unusually unlucky mission, something seems to be changing in him as he is preparing for another mission. Rey never thought himself to be a very gaseous man, but while he’s enjoying his time at a gay resort, Rey’s finding himself rather flatulent these days, not that he seems to mind, nor do his hookups. But Rey needs to figure out what is going on before it’s too late. ...

Gassy Landon & The Day He Stunk Up His Whole Dorm
Landon is a college freshman who gets challenged by his roommates to eat insane amounts of food. The gas that ensues is dangerously potent, and it starts to turn Landon on. Will he learn to accept these new feelings about his gas? Will someone else? Follow Landon as he goes on an adventure to get as gassy as possible and stink up his entire dorm!

The Night My Super Sexy, Super Stinky Boyfriend Farted Over 200 Times: A Fart Fetish Short 
"This is a fart fetish story about the time my boyfriend farted over two hundred times in one night. I had always been quite hesitant to tell him my secret kink, but in the end, we grew closer than ever."  Follow along for a night with Brad and CJ. Brad has an unusual kink that CJ unknowingly teases one night after getting drinks and food with his old friends.

Will CJ discover that his boyfriend wants him to continue this prolific farting ability? Or will Bradley be too scared to confess?

My Gassy Valentine: Part 1
Tyler dumps his prudish boyfriend before Valentine's Day who outs his fetish to the whole restaurant and he winds up getting involved with a couple in the area. Ryan has the worst gas imaginable. His boyfriend Chad hates it. Ryan learns that he can have a man that loves him and his gas. Does Chad learn to appreciate his boyfriend's gas? Or will Tyler find true love after all?

My Gassy Valentine: Part Two
Tyler and Ryan enjoy a Valentine's Day complete with fart play. Ryan makes sure that Tyler is left on edge for the duration of the night. This short features the romantic and sexual bond between two fart fetishist lovers.

Twink Stink
Jake and Tommy loved each other even before coming out Senior year of college. Tommy's fetish for farting could be too much for Jake to handle. Can two twinks help Tommy out and give him the courage to share his secret with Jake? Or does one of those men want Tommy all to himself?

Fart King
Brad has had countless boyfriends but has never shared his secret. Tim has quite the penchant for passing gas. It's a match made in fart heaven with these two gentlemen.

Professor Eprocto - Part 1
A fart fetishist Professor offers a failing freshman some inventive extra credit.

Professor Eprocto - Part 2
A Fart Fetishist Professor Struggles Over the Possible Consequences of His Newfound Relationship.

Professor Eprocto - Part 3
A Fart Fetishist Professor Learns the Dangers of the Student Surpassing the Teacher.

Professor Eprocto - Part 4
A Fart Fetishist Professor Learns that Lustful Behavior can really stink .

Queer Posts From "How to be Punk" Forum

I found these hot spank-worthy posts in a forum entitled "How to be Punk":

Barf said May 7, 2020 @ 6:48 am
I spray painted my pubes different colors before I head out to the parks and dumpsters to have hot man love. That makes me one badass punk. I even spray painted my asshole so when I fart I shoot orange tinged gas balls in my lovers faces. It’s highly erotic and a big part of punk life!


Dude with Genital Warts said May 6, 2020 @ 3:07 pm
One of my buddies lives in Chicago. Apparently it is a well-known fact that Cubs first baseman Anthony Rizzo is in a gay relationship with Steve Bartman, the dorky Cubs superfan who tried to catch a baseball in the 2003 playoffs and helped instigate an epic Cubs collapse. Anyway, my buddy said that Rizzo and Bartman were seen frolicking around the city over the weekend - Anthony was wearing his Cubs uniform and Bartman was wearing the same outfit and big headphones he wore to the 2003 playoff game. Apparently they were holding hands and skipping through Lincoln Park without wearing masks as Anthony was holding a deep dish pepperoni pizza from Giordano's. They stopped in front of Lincoln Park Zoo and then Anthony started eating the pizza. Then they started to passionately make out. At one point, Anthony Rizzo pulled down his uniform pants and ripped a wet and heinous-smelling pepperoni fart right in Bartman's face! Bartman then fell over and jizzed and shit his pants while moaning in ecstasy! Rizzo then pissed on Bartman while again ripping a 75 dB pepperoni fart!!! I'm surprised that those two freaks aren't arrested for engaging in dangerous acts of sodomy during the Coronovirus lockdown!


Carbon Fiber said May 6, 2020 @ 1:18 am
I can’t believe how the US has been overrun with queers during this pandemic. While everyone is staying home in order to slow the spread queers have taken advantage of this to take over society and engage in various disgusting behaviors. Now that some areas are relaxing the shelter in place rules we are finding that our beloved parks, as well as all other outdoor areas, have been taken over by demented queers frolicking about. I was hiking on the Appalachian trail last weekend and there were tens of thousands of deranged queers playing nude leapfrog, pissing and shitting on each other, and having hardcore buttsex. I barely could hear any normal nature sounds over the cacophony of farts. The stench was overwhelming. I left and went to a local park where I found more of the same. I’m truly hoping President Trump takes back our country from these demented queers!


Dude with Genital Warts said May 5, 2020 @ 2:00 pm
I live in Los Angeles and took my car for a drive through McArthur Park over the weekend. That park is notorious for the homeless bums and vagrants who live there, but it is reasonably safe to drive past during the daytime. As I drove around the park, I saw two gay guys who were in the nude and were doing some type of leapfrog game where they would take turns jumping up and leaping over each other. I also realized that they would rip loud farts during this exercise and seemed to time their farts to be realized at the moment they finished a leapfrog and their bare ass was right in the face of the other! It was really strange and neither of them were wearing any type of mask. After doing several leapfrogs, they both ran up to a homeless man who appeared to be trying to sleep and they each ripped ass in his face! I know that Los Angeles is gay-friendly, but this was far too extreme and dangerous in the time of the Coronavirus.


Hank said May 5, 2020 @ 6:41 am
Guys, today I was in Miami Gardens Park when I was accosted in the bathroom by a black guy who told me he was Michael Jordan. He asked if I wanted to “hit up a stall” with him. I was hesitant as I’m not a gay man, but this was Michael Jordan! He was even wearing one of his legendary Chicago Bulls jerseys. We hit up a stall and he pulled down his pants and blasted a fart in my face. He then began sucking me off and begging for me to jizz on his head, and pass gas in his mouth! Now I’m not gay, but I have to say I enjoyed it and blew a massive load on his head. I then blasted a fart into his mouth which made him fall to the floor moaning and groaning in pleasure, while also jizzing his pants. We then parted ways. I now believe I may have been tricked as I googled Michael Jordan and found he’s 6’ 6 where this guy was about 5’2. This guy also weighed about 300 pounds. Do you guys think I hooked up with the real Michael Jordan? He did make a nice shot of a paper towel into a garbage from like 5 feet away!


David Dookie said May 5, 2020 @ 4:47 am
Gary, you sound very homophobic! Instead of being disgusted by those gentlemen’s loving activities you should have opened your mind and joined in! Right now there is nothing more erotic then huffing a Cornoavirus fart. It is more moist and flavorful then a regular fart. You might have learned this, and experienced some hot man action had you not been so judgmental.


Gary said May 4, 2020 @ 2:10 pm
I was driving across Nevada a couple weeks ago when I stopped at a rest area in Reno because I had to take a leak. I walked into the men's room and encountered some demented weirdos! There was some type of commotion in one of the stalls and I looked down and saw that there were two pairs of legs in that stall. I also heard a loud fart followed by some moaning. After the fart, I heard someone say, "Yeah, smell that Coronvirus fart you FAGGOT!" I then heard the heard the toilet seat fall and heard what sounded like the two men sitting down to share the same toilet seat. As I was finishing pissing at the urinal, I heard a bunch of splashes of feces being expelled into the toilet water accompanied by some heinous farts. The entire bathroom smelled like an anus by this point, so I quickly washed my hands and got out of there to continue on my way.


Blue Balls said May 4, 2020 @ 7:38 am
I am so happy to see how quickly this fine board is queering up. I’ve already lost a few loads since it changed to 100 percent gay. In these troubled times where only rabid queers roam the outdoors those of us who are into safety need venues like this to find hot spank material. My partner Raul and I have been reading these stories to each other while jerking each other off!


CORkY said May 3, 2020 @ 9:15 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVcbY3Tf_TE

DiS i CoRKY. I waS PunK. NOw I MAKe A ROd Mi BiTCH!


The Big Bopper said May 3, 2020 @ 6:56 pm
I was driving along Venice Beach the other day and happened to look over and saw a couple guys tonguing each other's anuses right on the walking path. So many regular people are holed up in the homes and the deviants have free reign to engage in sodomy in public places right now. There was another guy with a huge Jew-fro standing near those two and his pants were down as he was masturbating vigorously.


Kim Jong Un said May 3, 2020 @ 12:18 pm
I am alive. Please send Dustin “Screech” Diamond to North Korea so he may service my every penis and ass need. I believe this may help bring peace between our countries.


Fart Goblin said May 3, 2020 @ 9:28 am
I’m in Troy and I just sucked a coronavirus fart from the ass of a dude dressed as He Man. It was so f’n erotic!


Pig Pen said May 2, 2020 @ 12:12 am
Fellow queers, I just rolled into Troy in my big rig. You wouldn’t know the coronavirus is even happening here! There are dudes buttslamming each other everywhere. No one is wearing a mask, and I doubt safety protocols allow for one dude to tongue another dudes anus! The dumpsters are all being set up and I’m headed to Pizza Hut to grab a few deep dish pepperoni pies. That should give me plenty of noxious ass gas, as well as get me ready to spray diarrhea. I saw a guy who had a giant poofy jewfro. He was wearing Zubaz pants. A Mexican guy in acid washed jeans was pissing in said jewfro. I can’t be sure but it was either the actor who played “screech” in saved by the bell or someone who looks a lot like him. Everyone who can should head to Troy!


ROCCO said May 1, 2020 @ 6:05 pm
I hope everyone here is aware that in Ohio the only city not on lockdown is Troy. The cities nearly 100 percent queer population would never forgo their gay festivals and dumpster parties because of a silly little virus. Most already have numerous virus’s floating around their bodies anyway. So if you’re looking for a hot hookup head to Troy. This weekend spring weather should make things really nice for “Dumpsterpalooza” where dozens of construction dumpsters will be attached end to end and thousands of horny queers will go to town on each other. I have heard legendary pepperoni fart champion Steve Anus will he in attendance! I was thrilled when I saw he posts on this board!


andrew said May 1, 2020 @ 4:14 pm
(_))======D ~~~~ O=

<3 br="">

Steve Anus said Apr 30, 2020 @ 11:16 pm
This website has a great guestbook- I’m glad I found it recently. I’ve already lost three loads reading the hot gay fantasies posted here while pleasuring myself. Thanks guys! 😘


British Bulldog said Apr 30, 2020 @ 3:53 pm
Hey Zackie-Boy, why don't you lick the shit out of a pregnant goat's arsehole, you steaming pile of putrid pigshit.


Gay Zack said Apr 29, 2020 @ 2:06 pm
So I met Dustin Diamond at a bar, he was asking me if I knew where he could buy an 8 ball of coke. I told him I could probably hook him up if we went back to my place. We got home and I offered him a nice stiff drink, which he slammed down. I called up a guy that I fuck sometimes and told him that Dustin Diamond needed an 8 ball of coke. He dropped it off, while Dustin downed a few more drinks. During that whole time Dustin and I got to talking about chess and his comedy, I really think we hit it off. He asked me if I would have a problem if he smoked some in my house. I said it was cool. He took out a little cloth bag that had a glass pipe that looked just like a penis. He kind off smiled when he saw that I noticed the penis pipe. He lit up and smoked and offered me some. I refused so he smoked more. After a while he sat by me and started to make out with me. He shoved his tongue down my throat and began to stroke my now fully erect cock. He took my pants off and began to suck my off. He got naked and put his ass up to my mouth and I gave him a Russian trombone. I made him cum all over the floor, than I put my cock deep inside his ass and pounded him like I’ve never pounded before. He let out a whimper like a little puppy as I slowly took my cock out and penetrated deeper. We fucked all night long until he started having trouble getting hard, so he said he needed more coke. He dumped some on my cock and began to snort it off, than licked off the rest. He slammed down some tequila and began rimming me. I asked him to hold on and I went into the bathroom and changed into my Screech outfit. When I went back out he instantly got hard and began pounding me to the point that shit leaked out of my ass. He got on the floor and asked me to let my juices flow on his stomache. I took a big runny shit all over his stomach, than I started to let it drip on his face and goatee. He stroked his dick until he came, while he also fingered his ass. The whole room smelled of coke, cum and shit – it turns me on just thinking about it. We stayed up all night and in the morning we took a shower together. He left and told me he would call me next time he was in town. I’m sure he says that to all the guys, but even if he doesn’t return, at least we had that one beautiful night of homo erotic pleasure that gets me hard and dripping every time I think of it.


Kurtis said Apr 29, 2020 @ 2:02 pm
Does anyone here fantasize about Dustin "Screech" Diamond? I want to fire my seed down his throat and take a dump in his Jew-fro!

Gay Leapfrog Game?

I found this hot story posted in another forum:

I live in Los Angeles and took my car for a drive through MacArthur Park over the weekend. That park is notorious for the homeless bums and vagrants who live there, but it is reasonably safe to drive past during the daytime. As I drove around the park, I saw two gay guys who were in the nude and were doing some type of leapfrog game where they would take turns jumping up and leaping over each other. I also realized that they would rip loud farts during this exercise and seemed to time their farts to be released at the moment they finished a leapfrog and their bare ass was right in the face of the other! It was really strange and neither of them were wearing any type of mask. After doing several leapfrogs, they both ran up to a homeless man who appeared to be trying to sleep and they each ripped ass in his face! I know that Los Angeles is gay-friendly, but this was far too extreme and dangerous in the time of the Coronavirus.

Dustin Diamond Queer Fantasy Video ("Poop Chute Boogie")

I found another gay Dustin Diamond stroke video on YouTube!  This one has a lot of sexy pics of Diamond with the song "Poop Chute Boogie" playing: