Tuesday, April 02, 2013

My Formspring Account Postings

Several years ago I signed up for an account at Formspring to allow my queer friends or fans to ask me questions.  Unfortunately, however, the Formspring website is going to be shut down soon, so I am copying the questions and my answers from my Formspring account below:

  1. Kurt Steinberg 
    When making love to homeless men, I like to listen to "It's Raining Men" by The Weather Girls, "In the Navy" by The Village People, "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred, "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, "O.P.P." by Naughty By Nature, and the Saved By The Bell theme song.

  2. Kurt Steinberg
    I think I met Carrot Top at the McDonald's on the Las Vegas strip a couple years ago, although I am not positive it was really him. I was waiting in line for a Big Mac when I accidentally ripped a fart. The guy standing behind me congratulated me on my fart and gave me a high-five. He was goofy-looking and had long curly red hair and appeared to be on steroids. Well one thing led to another and we ended up in the alley making out. I pissed in his hair, farted on his face, and then he sucked me off! It was pretty hot! I like to think that I was with the real Carrot Top that night, although it may just have been a random vagrant with red hair. Either way, it was a great experience!

  3. Kurt Steinberg
    I cannot be certain, but he certainly should look into it! Under Obama's new health care plan, Diamond can probably get millions of dollars in free surgery for which the rest of us will have to foot the bill! I hope that Rod Belding is his surgeon and uses rusty nails and staples to sew up Diamond's asshole!

  4. Kurt Steinberg
    No, it is not true. Instead, I heard that he flew to Africa to make love to a tribe of chimpanzees infected with Ebola. Diamond is most likely an extreme "bug chaser" and wants to contract as many dangerous diseases/STDs as possible before his HIV status eventually turns into full-blown AIDS.

  5. Kurt Steinberg
    Of course not! I have never seen "Lost Boys" myself, but I heard that it is a movie about queer vampires who use their fangs to suck the blood out of human cock. I envision a tv playing "Lost Boys" while a couple dudes go to town on a bum's smelly nut-bag with a couple car antennas!

  6. Kurt Steinberg
    Not really. Actually, I think it would be pretty hot if more queers camped out by the truck and rest stops! The only downside is that sometimes a queer can reach a point at which the b.o. and fecal stains on the queer's clothing become unbearable! I suppose that this potential problem could be addressed if a few powerful fire hoses were made available for anyone to use. I personally like to use a fire hose to clean out my gay lover's asshole every once in awhile!

  7. Kurt Steinberg
    Diamond could not possibly have been behind the Hoffa murder, as Hoffa died before Diamond was born ... unless, of course, Diamond is a homosexual Jewish reincarnation of Hoffa's spirit!

    I'm not sure about whether Diamond was involved in the recent death of Corey Haim. Diamond probably was a big fan of the Haimster and jerked off many times while watching Haim in "Lucas." Diamond was probably upset that Haim didn't want to film a sequel to Lucas.

    It is possible that Diamond used his Jewish black magic to kill Haim, just like he used his influence to help the Muslims plan the 9/11 attacks.

  8. Kurt Steinberg
    I would have made love to my high school Physics professor, Mr. Jewberg. I was dating the French teacher, Mr. Jones, at the time and wasn't into freaky three-ways at that time. I had this crazy idea in my head that my diarrhea sprays and cum loads were reserved for mt gay lover in a relationship. However, now I know better that anything goes in a relationship between raging homosexuals! Like most queers, I now get my kink on with as many random dudes as possible, even if I am dating someone else. I make sure to eat at Taco Bell to replenish my bowels with diarrhea just in case I empty my colon onto some random dude at the gas station bathroom during my drive home to meet my gay lover!

  9. Kurt Steinberg
    I have developed the muscles in my body, particularly my forearms and shoulders, to generate up to 300 ft-pounds of torque when swinging a 4-foot long car antenna. This amount of force would be sufficient to rip a testicle from a nut-sac and launch it a distance of 52 feet. Obviously I don't want to permanently injure my gay lovers, so I tone things down a bit. I estimate that I typically whip obese men in the nuts with about 50 ft-pounds of torque - this is sufficient force to burst blood vessels and leave dark welts on one's nuts and cause that person to pass out from the pain. Of course, there are many queers who are into S&M and get turned on by receiving pain and love it when they regain consciousness after being whipped in the balls and realize that they are covered in semen, piss, and diarrhea! Good times!

  10. Kurt Steinberg
    I prefer to force one out! Forcing one out is more fun because nasty farts are typically released while pushing out a shit log. Ripping ass while shitting directly into some random dude's mouth is a huge turn-on for me and other queers!

  11. Kurt Steinberg
    The closest I have come to hurricane sex was when four of my friends and I took turns farting and piss on a bum! The bum had a great time - we woke him up from a deep sleep. He thought he saw the eye of a hurricane, but it was just my asshole. I then sprayed diarrhea into his eyes and mouth. Good times!

  12. Kurt Steinberg
    Yes, ripping a smelly fart in the face of some random dude can be very homo-erotic! I have found that greasy tacos and refried beans from a Mexican restaurant such as Chevy's combined with Coronas can mix to create highly pressurized noxious and stank farts in my colon!

    I have also been able to produce a large amount of nasty farts while suffering from an intestinal virus. I recommend eating red meat products at a restaurant notorious for not requiring employees to wash their hands after taking a dump. I don't know whether it is true, but I heard a rumor that On the Border allows its employees to sneak food into the bathroom and piss and fart on it if customers are rude to the waiters. That could be a good place to catch an intestinal virus!

  13. Kurt Steinberg
    I'm too young to have experienced the bath house scene of the 70s. However, I suspect that the patrons of the bath houses in the 70s moved over to highway rest stops and truck stops during the 80s. Nowadays it's hard to take a leak at a rest stop urinal without some dude staring at your cock and offering a blow job! A couple weeks ago I stopped at a rest stop outside of Reno, NV and a random dude started licking my asshole while I pissed at a urinal - I got so excited that I shifted my position and ended up pissing all over the guy at the adjacent urinal. The guy next to me loved it!

    The queer hot-tub scene is a whole different ball of wax and tends to attract the most deranged and raging homosexuals. One of the best things about a hot tub is that you take take a shit and have anal sex with some random dude while your own shit logs are floating mere inches away from your face! That experience cannot be replicated at a rest stop bathroom today or at a bath house during the 70s.

  14. Kurt Steinberg
    Everyone in this country deserves a nice, warm meal, even the homeless! I personally like to give back to the community and help those of us who are less fortunate than me. A couple years ago I in downtown St. Louis and finished a nice meal at a Burger King. As I was walking back to my office afterward, I noticed a malnourished bum resting on a park bench. Eager help out, I dropped my pants and ripped a tasty wet fart right in his face! Some fecal chunks landed in this guy's mouth. I think I gave him the best warm meal he'd had in months - I should claim this as a charitable donation on my tax returns!

  15. Kurt Steinberg
    My dream date with Diamond begins at a nice authentic Mexican restaurant, such as Taco Bell. Halfway through our meal, I wink at Diamond and tell him to meet me by the dumpsters in the alley between the Taco Bell and the adjacent bowling alley in five minutes. I finish my meal a minute later and then exit the Taco Bell and unscrew a rusty car antenna from one of the mini-vans in the parking lot. I then quickly make my way over to the alley and hide in one of the dumpsters and close the lid on top of me and then drop my pants.

    Diamond shows up a minute later and says, "Zoinks! Where are you Kurt?" I respond, "I'm in here, open the lid!" Diamond then opens the lid and I unleash a loud fart followed by a diarrhea spray of epic queer proportions. I lose about five pound of waste product from my colon and the excrement flies out of my asshole with such force that Diamond is knocked back several feet into the wall of the bowling alley and is momentarily out of breath.

    I then leap out of the dumpster and start whipping Diamond in the nuts with the rusty car antenna. Diamond begs my to stop and asks me to do him in the ass. I comply and as I am about to climax, I pull out and blow my load in his Jew-fro! I then whip him in the nuts some more and then piss all over his face. After this, I head over to my car and drive home, leaving Diamond to recover for a little bit.

    It's a dream date for both of us!

  16. Kurt Steinberg
    Well, it certainly didn't help! The real reason for the collapse of the Zubaz empire is because of the fabric used in their pants. Zubaz pants are notorious for quickly absorbing the smell of farts and overall ass and can quickly stink up and entire room! Most people were disgusted by the stank odor, although many homosexuals found it to be the ultimate turn-on.

    I personally like to lift weights "commando-style" (i.e., without any underwear beneath) while wearing black and white Zubaz. I often do this after eating greasy Taco Bell for lunch - after ripping several wet farts, my Zubaz start to show brown stains and reek of the smell of my ass! I work out at a gym in Key West and and the most popular guy in the place because there are many, many deranged homosexuals who get turned on by the smell of my stinky Zubaz.

  17. Kurt Steinberg
    I suspect that President Diamond would lower the age of consent. I think that he and Mr. Belding had to sneak around the rowdy Saved By The Bell set when they started dating. Diamond must have enjoyed giving his ass to Belding and sucking off the Big Bopper when he was 15 and Belding was in his 40s; however, even though he was living in liberal southern California, society frowned upon this relationship at the time.

    I also suspect that Diamond would pass a law to legalize cloning. I'm sure that he would like to clone a new asshole for himself after all of the damage that happened to his original one at the hands (and cocks) of Belding, Slater, Zack's dad, and Ox in the Bayside boy's bathroom. He would probably also like to clone Hound Dog after Belding cooked Hound Dog for that Thanksgiving back in 2001.

  18. Kurt Steinberg
    Yes, I do. It won't be a mainstream role, but I think he can make a comeback in adult movies. I can totally see him playing "Jizz Bucket #2" in the movie "Anal Cum Buckets #13." He might also star in a homosexual Saved By The Bell-themed movie someone dressed up as Mr. Belding really gives it to him right in the ass in the Bayside teacher's lounge.

  19. Kurt Steinberg
    SBTB Hawaiian Style far more homoerotic! I loved the "lost" scenes where Screech was kidnapped by Chief Pupuku and then is viciously sodomized by all of the members of Pupuku's tribe - every one of them was a raging homosexual!

    I also loved the scene where Chief Pupuku put out his red-hot peace pipe on Screech's tiny zoinker. As I recall, Screech passed out from the searing pain and woke up an hour later covered in the remnants of several diarrhea sprays. When Mr. Belding found Screech, he had no choice other than to piss all over Screech to remove the caked-on diarrhea and semen.

  20. Kurt Steinberg
    My favorite nickname for Diamond is "Zubaz-wearing cocksucker"!!! Although I will admit that I like some of his other nicknames, such as "hook-nosed rim goblim," "burr-headed jizz-bucket," "the Big Bopper's cum dumpster," and "that ugly dude with AIDS."

  21. Kurt Steinberg
    Yes, this has happened a couple times in my life! Last summer I ate at a Chevy's mexican restaurant and later drank a couple steins of Guiness beer. Chevy's is reknowned for serving some of the greasiest tacos in the business and the mixture of its super-greasy tacos and Guiness beer combined together in my stomach and made me start to feel nauseous.

    I was driving home to try to sleep off the discomfort when a feeling overcame me and I was afraid that I was going to shit my pants in my car. I stopped at the nearest gas station, grabbed the bathroom key and ran over to the men's room. When I opened the door, I discovered two dudes rubbing knobs in the only bathroom stall. :( So I pulled down my pants and prepared to shit in the nearby urinal. After I got my pants down, I ripped the loudest fart in my entire life - it sounded like a fog horn on a cruise ship and was probably even louder than a Chuck Berry fart! The bathroom mirror actually started to fog up as the humidity level in the bathroom rapidly increased.

    The smell was nearly unbearable for me, but the two dudes in the stall couldn't take it and passed out. As I walked over to the stall to get some toilet paper, I saw that there was no toilet paper to be found. So I squatted over one of the passed out dudes and wiped my ass clean with his Jew-fro and Hypercolor t-shirt. I also pissed all over both of those guys to help them wake up and then washed my hands and drove home.

  22. Kurt Steinberg
    In my own personal experience, the southern states tend to have the best truck and rest stops for the horny guy looking for hot manly love. There also seem to be more Taco Bells and other Mexican fast food restaurants in the south, which tends to spice things up! I personally enjoy making out with a random dude after both of us have recently eaten at a Taco Bell - I love ripping ass and spraying diarrhea in the faces of my gay lovers!

    I'll never forget the time I was at that rest stop outside of San Diego after I had consumed five Coronas and 7 greasy tacos from Taco Bell. I ripped one right in my lover's face and it smelled like rotting eggs - we both came instantly while sniffing my colon gases!

  23. Kurt Steinberg
    I prefer to be the giver, rather than the receiver of shit sprays. I prefer to give liquid shit sprays to my gay lovers. Solid shit sprays rarely achieve much distance and often land on the ground instead of on my lover's face where they belong!

  24. Kurt Steinberg
    I don't! I had a bad encounter with some blacks guys who dressed up as Mylo the janitor from Good Morning Miss Bliss a few years ago. They were militant and chased me from the dumpsters behind a KFC in Atlanta. I barely managed to get away unharmed!

  25. Kurt Steinberg
    I would like to go on a road trip with Diamond "Screech" Diamond and visit many rest stops throughout the southwest. I would dress up as Mr. Belding and eat greasy tacos from Taco Bell and then drop my pants, spray diarrhea in Diamond's face, and then wipe my ass with his Jew-fro. He would then suck me off. This is my ultimate gay fantasy!

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