Queer Posts From the "How to be Punk" Forum - Part 4

I found even more spank-worthy posts from the "How to be Punk" forum:

Kurt said Jun 9, 2020 @ 11:13 pm
I was driving from Charlotte, NC to my home in Florida a couple days ago when I stopped at a restaurant stop just outside of Atlanta to use the men’s room. When I walked inside the men’s room, I was shocked at how filthy it was in there - there were dookie stains on the urinals and sinks for some reason! I’ve seen them on toilet seats before, but never on a sink or urinal. There was some kind of rave inside that men’s room, which was a strange sight. There was a DJ who was playing a mashups of various dance songs and sound clips of loud farts. There was also a movie projector playing some type of gay porn movie on the wall! I saw a guy who looked a lot like Corky from Life Goes On who was strangling a poofy-haired guy with his diaper which was full of urine and doodoo! There was also three levels of stadium seating a few feet in front of the urinals where several random dudes were sitting down while pleasuring themselves during this homosexual event! There was a cotton candy machine located about three feet from a stall where some dude was taking a loud and smelly dump! After I heard him rip ass, a truck driver knocked on that stall door and asked if he could the toilet seat as he needed to go #2 himself. Then the guy on the toilet opened the door and let the truck driver in. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I heard some moaning and loud farts emanating from that stall!! I was a bit freaked out by the rank odor as well as the Coronavirus farts which filled the air. There was also semen flying all over the place from the guys pleasuring themselves. Eww! So I walked outside and peed on the wall next to a vending machine and then got out of there with my anus intact! It was a surreal experience. But as I was leaving, I saw Antifa throwing bricks at the rest area buildings and members of the black community were stealing hubcaps from all of the cars parked out front in honor of George Floyd. Weird!!

Tox said Jun 9, 2020 @ 7:11 pm
The aliens finally returned tonight. When I saw their spaceship land I saw that it looked a little burned up, and had a lot of graffiti on it. When my alien friends came into my bedroom to probe me and rip farts in my face I asked them what happened? They told me they landed in Detroit last week and were attacked by both Antifa and BLM. Antifa set their spaceship on fire and BLM sprayed graffiti all over it. BLM set the spaceship on fire and stole random pieces of it. The aliens had to wait until another spaceship could come and make repairs after the looters and arsonists had left. I felt really bad for these poor aliens who had flown billions of miles to get here only to be attacked by leftist goons and black thugs! Thankfully I felt better after they pressed their grey asses to my face and ripped heinous alien farts In my face!

Riggs said Jun 9, 2020 @ 9:11 am
Tonight I was at a truck stop. I had a prime seat in the restrooms and was enjoying a real show. Tons of guys were taking dumps, ripping loud farts, and spraying diarrhea. I was also in a prime position to scope dudes pissing at the urinals. Talk about paradise! I ordered up a nice pizza and was really settling in when all hell broke loose. Some Antifa clowns were protesting outside and had set the building on fire. They had also sprayed communist logos all over the building. By the time I got outside I could see they were throwing bricks at the firefighters and police. They did this while other protestors looted the convenience store attached to the truck stop. I got the hell out of there and thankfully was able to get back to my big rig safely. I had to fire up my rig and get out of there before Antifa could set fire to my truck. I’m so upset my erotic rest room visit was cut short by those assholes. It wasn’t confirmed but there were rumors Anthony Rizzo and his lover Steve Bartman were going to make an appearance!

Jack LaLane said Jun 9, 2020 @ 3:42 am
I need to be out buttslamming and celebrating gay month with my fellow queers. Nude leapfrog, poppers, coronafarts, anal fireballs, bug juice, diarrhea sprays, and on and on. We should be in parks, restrooms, truck stops, rest areas, and of course every single dumpster across this land! Instead we are being victimized by looting and rioting goons. Our right to take dumps in each other’s mouths in public parks has been hindered! My lover Fidel and I have been forced to hole up in my apartment, while watching Saved by the Bell and Mr. Belvedere and jerking each other off. Thankfully today there was an erotic Mr. Belvedere where Mr. Belvedere took Wesley to a gay club so he could search out man love in a dumpster behind the club. Hilarity ensued when obese Mr. Belvedere sat on his own testicles and then rolled around on the floor in pain. Fidel and I laughed hysterically at this. Of course George Owens was mad Mr. Belvedere took a 12 year old to a gay club, but that just showed the hatred towards gays that existed in the 80’s. Until these riots we had moved to where I could drop a deuce in Fidel’s mouth in a local park, while surrounded by other gay men playing nude leapfrog! We need to take back our rights!

JewveBeenFramed said Jun 8, 2020 @ 7:39 pm
It’s supposed to be gay pride month and instead of being out in public twirling dildos and sucking off another man in front of children I have to be sidelined by Black Lives Matter so they can loot in honour of a dead multiple felon gentle giant. How much longer do we have to hide in our bathhouses? I yearn to be in the streets and swapping corona strains with as many buff guys as possible maybe we can even get Mitt Romney down and he can felch some corona farts out of some obese homos assholes to shoe solidarity with the queer community.

Phillip said Jun 8, 2020 @ 4:36 pm
It was a gay paradise a couple weeks ago where we could play nude leapfrog, suck each other off, buttslam each other, and tongue each other’s anuses in public parks and other areas in full view of regular people with no repercussions. However, with Antifa and so many members of the black community looting and burning everything to the ground, it has become far more dangerous for us. Instead of simply facing the risk of dying from Coronavirus or AIDS, now we have to worry about bricks and bullets whizzing past our heads as we prance around naked except for pee-stained jock straps covering our faces. Now they want to defund the police? We need to band together to force the police to protect our lifestyle!!

Mr. Donkey-Balls said Jun 8, 2020 @ 2:16 pm
Sometimes, when I'm sitting on the can taking a shit, my balls hang so low that they dip into the toilet water and get diarrhea on them & it really bums me out- Has anybody else in here also ever experienced this phenomenon & also, would anyone be willing to lick them clean 4 me?

Turd said Jun 8, 2020 @ 11:34 am
Mitt Romney is a disgrace. I wouldn’t even fart in his mouth if it would bring back Liberace!

Barf said Jun 8, 2020 @ 2:12 am
I enjoyed finally cleaning up the parks last week by joining the rioters and tossing a few Molotov cocktails at deranged weirdos playing nude leapfrog and having hardcore sex with each other. I hit one of them right in the ass, and the guy buttslamming him didn’t even stop! He seemed to enjoy it even more! He then asked the guy on fire to rip a coronafart and when he did it created a fireball that hit the guy right in the face, catching his hair on fire. The guy fell to the ground and wiggled around jizzing his pants. The fart fireball somehow extinguished the guys asshole fire as well! The rest of the deviants started cheering and yelling about fireball coronafarts and ran off to get matches and flammable liquids and sprays. It was horrible. Not even fire can stop the queer insanity.

Mitt Romney said Jun 8, 2020 @ 2:08 am
Hey gang, I was out protesting in Washington DC with Antifa and other social justice warriors. They were great guys. After marching for awhile, we ducked into a McDonald's and got it on in the men's room! There were about 15 guys in there ripping ass at the same time in close quarters. Although several of us were wearing pee-stained jock straps on our faces as masks, those types of masks are just for show, so there's a good chance we all have the Coronavirus now! Good times!!!

Zack said Jun 7, 2020 @ 5:57 pm
I am a long haul trucker and was transporting consumer goods in my Kenworth truck yesterday when I stopped at a highway rest stop in Reno, NV to go #2. When I opened the door in a stall, I discovered that someone had pissed all over the seat, so I entered a different stall. After I sat down, I unleashed a heinous-smelling fart and then expelled an enormous dookie which splashed down into the toilet water. Suddenly I heard someone clapping while explaining "Well played, good man!!!" That weirdo then started shaking my stall door to get into my stall! I told that weirdo to leave me alone and that he should go bother someone else. The next thing I knew he had pried the door open and I saw him gazing at me - it looked like he was in a hypnotic trance. It was a white guy with a huge poofy curly fro and he was wearing pink Zubaz pants like football players used to wear 30 years ago. He knocked me off the toilet and then started sniffing my ass like dogs sniff each other's asses! Then he started jerking me off. I'm not gay, but he made me climax within seconds. He said he was a Coronavirus big chaser! Weird!!

JewveBeenFramed said Jun 7, 2020 @ 2:18 pm
Another day another strain of corona gained by fart swapping at my local bathhouse. It’s been wild here in San Francisco all the bug chases have become full blown corona catching maniacs some deranged queers here have actually passed out from huffing so many corona farts. I was concerned that the peaceful looting riots would affect my quest to get super corona but thankfully former president bathhouse Barry has personally been here to warn the rioters not to interfere with the queer communities turn eating and Corona fart huffing!

CoronaFARTz said Jun 7, 2020 @ 12:02 pm
Bingo, your story is horrifying! I wish you luck with growing back your pubes.

Bingo said Jun 7, 2020 @ 5:08 am
Guys I totally agree. The coronavirus had made parks and other areas extremely gay friendly. My lover Raul and I loved heading to playgrounds and parks to engage in enormous games of nude leapfrog with dozens of other gay men. Then these silly riots began with insane Antifa jackasses running around yelling about communism and throwing bricks and setting fires. Poor Raul had his pubic hair set ablaze by one of those monsters! They aren’t tolerant and accepting in any way. They just want mayhem and anarchy and to shut down the progress the gay community finally made. Thankfully Raul’s butthole wasn’t singed by the pubic fire and he can still blast out numerous corona farts each day.

Lance said Jun 7, 2020 @ 2:01 am
Jewvebeenframed, the parks were a fantastic place at which to meet liked-minded queers for games of nude leapfrog and spray farts up until about a week ago when the riots started. It is pretty difficult to get your salad tossed in a public park when hundreds of Antifa and black guys are throwing bricks through every store window while lighting nearby cars on fire and shooting at the police!

Neil said Jun 6, 2020 @ 11:52 pm
Looted Butthole, I am shocked at your story! You have been completely violated. Most of us understand that rioters have been looting shoe stores, burning entire strip malls to the ground, and shoot policement to honor the memory of George Floyd. However, how in the hell does stealing a turd out of your butthole honor that gentle giant? Was it a Coronavirus turd?

Beta cuck said Jun 6, 2020 @ 4:59 pm
I was out protesting in St. Louis a few days ago when I met a nice homosexual man - we snuck into a men’s room at a gas station to suck each other off and tongue each other’s anuses. Meanwhile, members of the black community looted a Foot Locker across the street and stole as many pairs of shoes as they could carry to honor the memory of George Floyd before they burned the store to the ground.

Looted butthole said Jun 6, 2020 @ 4:30 pm
Big warning to anyone reading in was in a west philly McDonalds drive thru when I was attacked by a group of peaceful protestors who held me down and pulled a turd out of my ass. This whole thing has gotten out of control. A mans turds aren’t safe from deranged gay people protesting a dead felon!

CoronaFARTz said Jun 6, 2020 @ 3:10 pm
Hate mail at the top of page 6 OMG LOL

CoronaFARTz said Jun 6, 2020 @ 3:07 pm
right now!

Ooooh! said Jun 6, 2020 @ 3:07 pm
someone else is posting!

NoSeriously said Jun 6, 2020 @ 3:07 pm
No, seriously, I am.

BLM queer said Jun 6, 2020 @ 3:07 pm
I’m out here protesting police brutality it’s unbelievable the police won’t even give me a reach around!

CoronaFARTz said Jun 6, 2020 @ 3:07 pm
Im a vegan

JewveBeenFramed said Jun 6, 2020 @ 3:03 pm
Have any other queers here found their sex life has taken off since corona lockdown? Every park has been empty of normal people allowing us to have aids orgies the likes you have never seen. If any of you queers want to know some up coming meeting places, please leave a message.

7-Eleven said Jun 6, 2020 @ 10:23 am
Hello, this is 7-Eleven, ad we made a song, hope you like it! Genre:Black Metal, Death Metal
FFFRRRRRAAaAAAAA
I EAT! TEN PIZAS A DAAYYYY
I SLEPT! WITH YOUR MOM CUZ YOUR GAYYYY
UUUURRRRAAAAA I< DONT GIVE
A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU SAY, DONT GIVE A FUCK,
EAT OUR HOTDOGS AND EAT OUR HAMBURGERS,
FUCK VEGANS I, MURDERED ALL OF THEM!!!!
I SLEPT WITH YOUR SLEPT WITH YOR DOG,
YOU SMELL, LIKE BLOOD
OUR PIZZA SAUCE, HAS BLOOD
SLURPPES HAVE SNOWMAN BRAINS AND FLAVR OF, FLAVOR OOOF!!!
BLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOD YEAH MOSH PIT!!!!!!! WALL OF DEATH RAAAAAAUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGRA

Thank you for listening to our new track, called Merry go Round. Purchase a single at your local 7-Eleven.

Tanisha said Jun 6, 2020 @ 7:52 am
omg, andrew, ur sooo hawt lol!

Scud said Jun 6, 2020 @ 3:16 am
Mr. Belding. You are my hero. I loved when I went to Bayside High and you would teach that goblin Screech life lessons by raping and beating him on a regular basis. Too bad he learned nothing. I was shocked when you let him be your unpaid assistant, then demoted him further to unpaid bathroom assistant. He was and still is a total loser.

andrew said Jun 5, 2020 @ 9:58 pm
You know, Andrew, if you wanted you could block use of the nickname “Andrew” or “andrew” and only unblock them when you wanted to comment.

Mr. Belding said Jun 5, 2020 @ 4:27 pm
Screech Powers was an annoying dork with a poofy Jew-fro who was a student at my high school in the early 90s and then dropped out of college to become my unpaid assistant. His only utility is to service my penis and ass needs.

Brian said Jun 5, 2020 @ 2:21 am
Mr. Beldings, who is screech power
Mr. Belding said Jun 5, 2020 @ 2:08 am

Has anyone seen Screech Powers? Coronavirus or not, he needs to tongue my anus I’m the teachers lounge.

Barack Obama said Jun 5, 2020 @ 2:02 am
Ronnie, times like these it is ok to rob stores, plus whoever is calling Andrew gay and that rude content, I will send my bodyguards after you, and torture you till death. Side note, I am an anarcho vegan punk now due to Andrew's magnificent work, ANARCHY.
andrew said Jun 5, 2020 @ 12:39 am

whoever is signing posts under my name PLEASE STOP this is a clear violation of the gestbook's TERMS OF SERVICE and i WILL involve my lawyer if this continues.

- the REAL andrew

PS i am DEFINITELY NOT GAY! why does everyone keep saying that? i'm not gay!! ok?? everyone?? stop saying it because it isn't true!

Ronnie said Jun 4, 2020 @ 10:19 pm
Is that really Barack Obama posting in here? I always respected him, but sending his wife out to steal KFC and grape soda? Hellll Noooo! I turn my back on Barack after that.

andrew said Jun 4, 2020 @ 6:38 pm
im gay

Brett said Jun 4, 2020 @ 3:00 pm
I was in Chicago over the weekend. On Saturday night, I was in an alley behind a McDonald's receiving a rim job from a homeless man when all hell broke loose! Hundreds of black people honored of the death George Floyd by looting every nearby business and stealing everything which wasn't bolted down. It go so dicey that I quickly pulled up my pants and ran home to safety and forgot to tip the homeless man a couple bucks for this services. Oopsie!

Barack Obama said Jun 4, 2020 @ 6:08 am
Tim, of course not, she is faster than Usian Bolt, what a woman!

Tim said Jun 4, 2020 @ 5:49 am
Barack, thanks for taking time out of your schedule to post here. I think I saw your wife, Michelle, carrying four 2-liters of grape Crush that she looted from a CVS in the Bronx yesterday. Did she get in trouble for that?

andrew said Jun 3, 2020 @ 10:08 pm
Your welcome Olga, I love you I surf too, do you wanna cyber?

Olga Freidstank said Jun 3, 2020 @ 10:05 pm
OH MAH GAD, THANK YOU ANDREW NOW I AM A PUNK RAWKER, I HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS AND I SPIT AT THOSE STUPID POSERS, I LOVE BLANK 183, MY FAVV BAND OMG, I AM PUNK RAWKER NOW AND I LOVE HOT TOPIC, THEY HAVE ALOT
farts kisses farts kisses
OLGAA

Barack Obama said Jun 3, 2020 @ 9:58 pm
Yes, Tim, I hired her to loot the KFC, told her to do anything by any means, next she is raiding the Kool Aid factory.

Tim said Jun 3, 2020 @ 6:33 pm
Hey Barack, I saw your wife, Michelle, in video looting a KFC in New York City a couple nights ago. When a policeman attempted to stop her from leaving with a large bucket of Extra Crispy fried chicken, she barrelled over him as if she were an NFL running back.

andrew said Jun 3, 2020 @ 4:41 pm
wow, what a beautiful and ORIGINAL poem about the punk subculture. for some reason it seems familiar, but they say great works of art do this. i honestly think this should be a song. wouldn't that be cool?

CoronaFart said Jun 3, 2020 @ 2:57 pm
OMG did you write that yourself? It’s great!

PuNK DUDE said Jun 3, 2020 @ 1:05 pm
PUNK IS DEAD, lol i ate your pizza tho, Yes that's right, punk is dead
It's just another cheap product for the consumers' head
Bubblegum rock on plastic transistors
Schoolboy sedition backed by big-time promoters
CBS promote the Clash
Ain't for revolution, it's just for cash
Punk became a fashion just like hippy used to be
Ain't got a thing to do with you or me
Movements are systems and systems kill
Movements are expressions of the public will
Punk became a movement cos we all felt lost
Leaders sold out and now we all pay the cost
Punk narcissism was a social napalm
Steve Jones started doing real harm
Preaching revolution, anarchy and change
Sucked from the system that had given him his name
Well I'm tired of staring through shit-stained glass
Tired of staring up a superstar's arse
I've got an arse and crap and a name
I'm just waiting for my fifteen minutes fame
Steven Jones, you're napalm
If you're so pretty vacant, why do you smarm?
Patti Smith, you're napalm, you write with your hand
But it's Rimbaud's arm
And me, yes, I, do I want to burn?
Is there something I can learn?
Do I need a business man to promote my angle
Can I resist the carrots that fame and fortune dangle
I see the velvet zippies in their bondage gear
The social elite with safety pins in their ear
I watch and understand that it don't mean a thing
The scorpions might attack, but the systems stole the sting
Punk is dead
Punk is dead
Punk is dead
Punk is dead
Punk is dead
Punk is dead
Punk is dead
Punk is dead
Punk is dead

Alen said Jun 3, 2020 @ 11:04 am
So, today, it was weird. The GTA 5 aliens are real now, I was viewing the protesters in my purple Toyota, and out of nowhere these naked guys bald and bleached in green, had baseball bats and started smashing my car, then they got ran over by a purple van, and out came naked purple men with baseball bats and started injuring each other, some got arrested and some got sent to the hospital, no joke it was terrifying

Barack Obama said Jun 3, 2020 @ 10:56 am
I farted, sniff it

Willie said Jun 3, 2020 @ 7:14 am
Tonight I was at a protest in Seattle and the police engaged in some scandalous behavior. After we peacefully cursed and screamed at them for 8 hours all it took was a few bad apples to peacefully throw some bottles and other items at them and they reacted. We thought we were ready but we weren’t. All of a sudden the police parted and moved to the sides as hundreds of flaming gay men filled into the center. They dropped their pants with their asses aimed at the peaceful crowd who were only throwing bottles and rocks. The gay men yelled “fire one” and let loose a barrage of farts. The noise shook the earth and the smell hit me within seconds. A man with a gas mask on ripped it off as this toxic fart penetrated and trapped it in the mask! We could hear the gay men cheering and yelling “eat that coronafart”. They then yelled “fire two” and more farts were let loose as well as many flying turds. Many people were knocked over by these turds, and the gay men yelled “eat those coronaturds”. What was a crowd of thousands dispersed within minutes. Many people were seen vomiting from this barbaric police behavior. When I was blocks away I looked back and saw the army of gay men had begun to engage in an orgy and the police had left. What bastards!

Mark said Jun 2, 2020 @ 7:36 am
I got caught up near a group of looters in St. Louis yesterday evening. I don't know what the I was thinking, but I discovered I was out of milk and then drove over to the Schnuck's grocery store a couple miles away. Along the way, I drove past a liquor store and saw that there were about 20 black guys in there stealing anything which wasn't bolted down. I got concerned for my safety and turned around to drive back home and was stopped at a light near a Taco Bell. I looked inside and saw an eclectic group of looters! There were some people smashing the cash registers with hammers and I also saw some type of homosexual orgy going on in the dining area! Someone apparently was found a huge bag of cinnamon twists and several guys were eating them out of each other's ass cracks! I also heard some loud farts emanating from that Taco Bell and someone yelling "Eat that Corona-turd!" Billy Idol's "Mony Mony" was playing in my car at this time. When the stoplight turned green I got the hell out of there. Everything is going crazy now as we're living in clown world!

Troy Fermon said Jun 1, 2020 @ 8:26 am
Tonight I was at a protest in Los Angeles and saw that guy Webster. He was getting his cock sucked by some really fat black girl. I’m also saw A Rod and Corky nearby and Corky was really giving it to A Rod right in the ass. I was disappointed as I was there to try and get a new gas grill but none of the looting happened where I could get one. But it was still worth it to see Web and Corky.

Jay said May 31, 2020 @ 7:33 am
Tonight my lover Ramone and I felt it would be fun to show our appreciation for the black community and attend a protest to show support. We went down wearing our jock strap face masks, and at first everything was ok. But then some black goons started beating us up, even though we were chanting against the police while we played grab ass with each other. I had use “skunk” tactics and let loose many farts and eventually some runny shit. Ramone wasn’t as smart and was beaten unmercifully. We were called all kinds of awful names as well. I’m hoping that the punk rockers in here will offer their support and protection if Ramone and I decide to attend further protests.

Bobby said May 30, 2020 @ 11:13 pm
Ugggghhhhhh!! I just lost a massive load thinking about alien farts. Please keep up the alien stories. I’ve always wanted to be “probed” by aliens myself. But aliens with coronafarts? Ugggggghhhhhhh! I just blew another load!

The Big Bopper said May 30, 2020 @ 4:55 pm
Tony, I saw video of the looting at the Minneapolis Target. The looters appeared to all be black but seemed like they were more into stealing and being thugs than sniffing jockstraps. It did appear that the guy filming the incident was very effeminate. Weird...

Tox said May 30, 2020 @ 9:23 am
The aliens came back tonight! I was again unable to move when I woke to find them pressing their little grey behinds to my face! Their alien farts really were putrid and who knows what they eat. But they did yell “suck that coronafart” at me telepathically! So I guess they have alien coronavirus. They then tended to my every penis and ass need which was pretty sweet. When they went to leave the ripped loud farts that propelled them out my window and up into the air. I then saw a spaceship fly past my window and the aliens waved to me from it. All in all it was a pretty good night.

Tony said May 30, 2020 @ 6:43 am
Big Bopper, I noticed that the first store looted in Minneapolis was a Target. Do you think the media mistakenly believed it was due to the protests over the police killing a black man, when in reality it was an enormous gay posse that were searching out those new baseball cards? If I recall it was almost 100 percent men and screamed of fruitiness.

The Big Bopper said May 30, 2020 @ 6:12 am
There was an article in today’s Wall Street Journal about renewed interest in sports cards. Baseball cards were a big deal until the market seemingly collapsed in the 1990s, but it is now back with a vengeance as people have been collecting them again while holed up at home during the Coronavirus lockdowns. The Topps playing card company has decided to cash in by producing a new set of cards which they hope to sell to the demented freaks who have overrun the United States during the last few months. They are releasing a Topps Jockstrap Series set of cards of baseball players and mascots in their jockstraps. They have been promoting this new set by assigning Mike Trout the first number of the set. They also have a number of classic “throw back the clock” cards of baseball greats. There is one of Pete Rose, although I don’t know why anyone would have to see his wrinkled ball bag in a jock strap. There is also one for A-Rod and Corky from Life Goes On also appears on the card as they are apparently gay lovers. I’m heading to the Target closest to me tomorrow to buy a few packs before members of the gay community have purchased them all as this will undoubtedly be a hot release!

Mike the Punk Rocker said May 29, 2020 @ 6:35 am
Fellow punks! Tonight I went to my local Taco Bell and found it has been taken over by raging homosexuals. Instead of discouraging this my local Taco Bell is encouraging it by flying the gay flag colors, and by offering “coronafart” tacos! There was a line of at least 20 cars waiting to get into the drive thru and I could see the parking lot had been turned into a playground where tons of weirdos were playing nude leapfrog and wearing jock straps on their faces. There was a guy in a Liberace costume who was singing some awful song and when he finished he bent over and ripped ass into a microphone. When I finally got to place my order I tried to order a Gordita, but was told all they had were “coronafart” tacos. I asked what that was and was told it was a regular hard shell taco, but the taco shell was the colors of the gay flag. Also, when it was completed a fat employee who was positive for the coronavirus would fart on it to give it some “extra coronavirus flavor and juices”. That is disgusting! I got the hell out of there even though I was really hungry. This country needs someone like Chuck Norris, or Black Flag to come in and clean things up!

Tox said May 29, 2020 @ 6:13 am
Pete, your alien story is so hawt! I had a similar experience. A few weeks ago I was sleeping and when I woke up I found I couldn’t move but was wide awake. There were two aliens there staring at me, and both had massive erections. They pressed their alien asses to my face and began ripping fart after fart while yelling “suck down that coronafart”. They then farted in each other and rolled around on the floor. I fell back to sleep and when I woke up it was morning and then were gone. I really hope they come back. I like aliens.

Harry said May 29, 2020 @ 1:10 am
Today I went to the park for a nice walk and some fresh air. Upon entering I felt I had stumbled into a homosexual bizzaro world. The air instead of being fresh was stale with rancid farts. Instead of peace and quiet I could hear non stop ridiculously loud farts, people yelling, and moaning and groaning. As I got further into the park I could see nothing but hundreds of gay man, some wearing stained jock straps on their faces, all engaged in horrendous activities. Many of the activities involved one, or a group of men pressing their asses to a mans face while yelling “eat that corona fart faggot”, or “tongue my corona juice”. I’m guessing the vast majority of these deranged men have the coronavirus the way they were carrying on. A few of them were in weird costumes. There was guy in acid washed jeans and a mullet. A guy with Zubaz pants and a giant Jew fro, and the fattest man I’ve ever seen riding around in a golf cart running people over and yelling “pushy pushy move your tushy”. The strangest one was someone was in an “Alf” costume. There were dozens of pizza boxes all over the picnic tables and many of them were chowing down on pizza. I’m disgusted at what this country has become during the coronavirus pandemic.

Steve said May 28, 2020 @ 8:39 pm
I filled up my SUV's gas tank at an Exxon gas station last night and there were three guys frolicking in the grass nearby bare-assed! At first, they were playing a nude leapfrog game but then one of the guys pulled the pee-stained jock strap off his face and then started strangling one of the other guys! His buddy then ripped a loud fart in the strangled guy's face! The next thing I saw was all three of them fell over while convulsing and jizzing themselves. Thankfully, my SUV was filled up by then so I quickly got back inside and drove away from those demented freaks. Those guys clearly don't care about whether they are spreading Cornavirus (or HIV)!

Pete said May 28, 2020 @ 8:59 am
Tonight I saw an alien. He landed in a spaceship, and when he got out I could see it was a gray alien who was wearing a jock strap on his face. I found it interesting even aliens are worried about coronavirus. This alien was eating a piece of pepperoni deep dish pizza and I could hear the theme song from “Saved by the Bell” coming from a tv in his spaceship. He came over and ripped a fart in my face and said “smell that corona fart”. I then remember nothing until I came to. My pants were off and my ass was sore. The alien was back in his spaceship and was driving away. His spaceship looked an awful lot like a van, and I was surprised he didn’t take off into the air but instead drove down the road. All in all it was a pretty hot experience and I was glad to meet an alien.

Pops McKenzie said May 28, 2020 @ 3:16 am
Today on my drive to work I had to stop at a light. To my annoyance a homeless person with a squeegee was talking between cars. This fruitcake wasn’t wearing pants and had a jockstrap over his face that had both pee and shit stains. When he got to my car he aimed his asshole at my windshield and let loose a diarrhea spray then began squeegeeing it smearing it all over. He then began banging on my window and yelling something about wanting a tip. It was disgusting. I had to use windshield washer fluid and my wipers just so I could see. When the light turned green I got out of there as this guy continued pounding on my car. When I looked back in my rear view mirror I could see he had gone back to the shoulder of the road and was now engaged in some butt sex with some obese weirdo. What the hell is happening to this country?

Dan said May 27, 2020 @ 9:16 am
I cranked some tunes as I waited in the drive-thru lane at a Taco Bell near me yesterday. As I waited to drive to the pay window, I looked over and saw a couple gay guys doing their bare-assed leapfrog game in the parking lot. After one of the guys ripped a loud fart right in the other guy's face, the guy on the receiving end of the fart started tonguing the other guy's anus! Not only was this behavior disgusting, it wasn't sanitary and will undoubtedly spread the Coronavirus. Why were these perverts arrested for not wearing masks or for their acts of sodomy???

Suggestion said May 26, 2020 @ 9:00 pm
Bring back rants!

WasteOfTime said May 26, 2020 @ 9:00 pm
Gee, thanks Andrew. I just read all of the posts on the home page. It was a great fuckin waste of time! But it was fun!

Rich Dude said May 26, 2020 @ 9:03 am
These freaks have been taking over the country during the past couple months as a result of the lockdowns. Instead of complaining about it, like some have been doing in this guestbook, I have decided to profit from it! I have been ordering bulk quantities of jockstraps from Jet.com to get free shipping and the lowest cost per jockstrap. When they arrive, I open up the packages and line the jockstraps up on my bathroom tub. I then proceed to fart on each jockstrap and then piss on each as well. I will then list each jockstrap on eBay as pee-soaked. I find that it I am dehydrated my urine is neon yellow and a jockstrap with neon yellow pee stains commands a premium price on eBay! I've been paying an average of about $3/jockstrap and selling each pee-stained jockstrap for $35 on eBay, for a nice return in excess of 1,000%!! I now have a sustainable business model which would make Mark Cuban turn green with envy!