"Mr. Belding Teaches Screech Not To Be A Bathroom Stall Hog" episode recap

Hey Screech, remember the episode of Saved By The Bell: The New Class where the Bayside cafeteria had "Taco Tuesday"?  Remember how greasy the tacos were?  Remember how the tacos gave everyone gas?  Remember how much fun you had that day because the Bayside hallways and classrooms all reeked of the smell of ass as a result of numerous farts?  Remember how you snuck into the boy's bathroom and sat down in one of the four stalls and listened to students sitting in the other three stalls while taking dumps and ripping ass?  Remember how your masturbated vigorously to the sounds and smells in that bathroom?  Remember how you were in absolute ecstasy?  Remember how Mr. Belding was lifting weights in the bathroom at this time?  Remember how strange it was that Mr. Belding was lifting weighting in the boy's bathroom instead of in the Bayside weight room?  Remember how it also weird that Mr. Belding was getting a workout in the middle of the school day instead of performing work in his office like a normal principal would do?  Remember how all of a sudden Mr. Belding really had to take a massive dump but was forced to wait because all of the stalls were being used?  Remember how Mr. Belding noticed your feet below your stall door and recognized your Zubaz which were down around your ankles?  Remember how Mr. Belding got really angry and kicked your stall door open and saw that you were jerking off your tiny cock?  Remember when Mr. Belding kicked you in your bird chest, knocking you off the toilet? Remember how instead of using your toilet after knocking you off, he pulled down his trousers, squatted over your face and then ripped a heinous wet fart in your face?  Remember how nasty that fart smelled?  Remember when Mr. Belding proceeded to expel an enormous dookie into your mouth?  Remember when Mr. Belding then grabbed your head and used your Jew-fro to wipe his ass clean?  Remember when Mr. Belding then viciously sodomized your anus?  Mr. Belding sure taught you a lesson about being a stall hog that time!

Questions About Dustin Diamond From Other Forums

Dustin Diamond's life is a topic of interest of gay men around the globe!  Here are some questions  about Diamond that I have seen posted in other forums:

Is it true that Dustin Diamond had a gay relationship with Bob Golic during Saved By the Bell: College Years?

Dustin Diamond played Screech and Bob Golic played Mike Rogers on Saved By The Bell: The College Years.  Mike Rogers was the RA in the dorm where Screech lived with Zack Morris and A.C. Slater.  I heard a rumor that Dustin Diamond and Bob Golic used to make passionate gay love to each other in the men's bathroom after filming scenes for the day.  Has anyone else heard this rumor?

3 Answers 

Anonymous
1 decade ago
Favorite Answer

I think that there is a lot of truth to that rumor.  Diamond probably loves men with curly mullets.  Mario Lopez had one on Saved By The Bell, but Lopez was always busy chasing after women.  Golic, on the other hand, was not an attractive man and probably enjoyed the attention that Diamond must have given him.  They probably went for a walk in MacArthur Park one day and then Golic suggested they take a dip in the local pond.  One thing led to another and they probably became fast lovers.


Anonymous
6 years ago

Man, I hope it is true and they video-tapped it.  It really turns me on thinking of the former NFL lineman really giving it to the skinny Diamond right in the brownpipe!  I bet he tossed Diamond around like a rag doll while having his way with that little rim goblin!!!


Anonymous
1 decade ago

This is 100% true.
Source(s): I have pictures. No, you can't have them.

Did Dustin Diamond and Dennis Haskins have a gay relationship?

I have read stories/rumors on several websites indicating that Dustin Diamond had an illicit relationship with Dennis Haskins on a rowdy Saved By The Bell Set.  Is there any truth to such rumors?  Supposedly they tried to keep their relationship from affecting their acting, but it did seem like there was some gay tension between them on some of the later episodes of Saved By The Bell: The New Class. 

Dustin mentioned a girlfriend on Celebrity Fit Club, so he must have just been experimenting with Haskins, or is bisexual, if the rumors are true.
Did Dustin Diamond and Dennis Haskins have a gay relationship?

5 Answers

Anonymous
1 decade ago
Favorite Answer

Yes, they probably did.  I'm not 100% certain, although as the Magic 8-Ball would say, all signs point to "yes."  I'm not sure if Dustin or Dennis Haskins have ever gone public with their relationship, but there are many rumors about their illicit relationship in Dustin's trailer on the rowdy, no-holds-barred Saved By The Bell set.  

The Saved By the Bell: The New Class writers were undoubtedly well aware of their relationship and that is probably why Screech gave Belding a rubdown in one of the episodes, and they rode a tandem bike through the streets of Paris in another episode.  See, e.g., the pictures near the bottom of this page about Dustin:

http://washedupcelebrities.blogspot.com/2007/01/du...
Source(s): http://washedupcelebrities.blogspot.com/2007/01/du...


Anonymous
4 years ago

RE: Is Dustin Diamond (Screech from Saved By The Bell) really gay? I have searched for information about Dustin Diamond on various search engines and have discovered an inordinate number of websites, blogs, and forums with stories about Diamond being gay, having an illicit relationship with Dennis Haskins, and engaging in gay activities on a rowdy Saved By The...


Anonymous
1 decade ago

Hmmm.I have never heard these rumors,but nothing surprises me when it comes to Dustin Diamond.


Anonymous
1 decade ago

haha dustin diamond! that doesn't surprise me lol



Anonymous
1 decade ago

I wouldn't doubt it

Is it true that Dustin Diamond cruises highway rest stops looking for gay sex?

I read on a website somewhere that Dustin Diamond is openly gay and visits highway rest stops and gas station bathrooms while seeking gay sex with random dudes, including homeless men. Does anyone know whether there is any truth to these rumors?
Is it true that Dustin Diamond cruises highway rest stops looking for gay sex?

8 Answers


Anonymous
1 decade ago
Favorite Answer

I have also heard these rumors, although I've never witnessed Dustin "Screech" Diamond having sex with anyone. He sure seemed to be gay on Saved By The Bell: The New Class and I heard that he sometimes tours colleges with Mr. Belding (Dennis Haskins) and that they stay in the same hotel room and share a bed together. Dustin probably gets bored of making love to Mr. Belding and seeks new men at rest stops to satiate his homosexual carnal desires! Dustin recently took down his website, which included a guestbook full of gay fantasies relating to him.
Source(s): http://www.dustindiamond.com



Anonymous
1 decade ago

Blech, I wouldn't touch Dustin Diamond with a ten foot pole. He's repulsive in looks but especially personality.


Anonymous
1 decade ago

Oh no, not screech !

**takes out pen and paper**

Where does he go cruising, I want to land Screechy-Poo :)



Anonymous
1 decade ago

So you know who Dustin Diamond is....now we know your true age.

And Kurt, really, who cares...let him get his kicks or whatever. He's not doing anymore than our local closeted politicians...so no harm, no foul...


Anonymous
1 decade ago

i have no idea

All he wants is to make an extra 3 dollars...without doing work



Anonymous
1 decade ago

He'd better make sure they pay the full wage.
Source(s): I speak from personal experience.



Anonymous
1 decade ago

thats who that was! i knew i recognized him from somewhere. he stiffed me the prick. he owes me another $50.

j/k

why not, its the in thing to do, right?



Anonymous
1 decade ago

screech? no, i've never heard that before.

Did Screech have Down's Syndrome on Saved By The Bell?

Did the character Screech on Saved By The Bell suffer from some type of adult-onset Down's Syndrome during the later years of Saved By The Bell? When he was on Good Morning:Miss Bliss, Screech was a smart, albeit nerdy dork. When he was a student at Bayside during the original run of Saved By The Bell, he clearly lost intelligence relative to what he had when he was younger, although he did get accepted into California University. During the College Years, he apparently couldn't handle the workload at California University and dropped out to return to Bayside as Mr. Belding's assistant for minimum wage. During the six seasons he was on The New Class, he quickly became dumber and dumber to the point at which he seemed to have a learning disability. He stupidly spilled soup on a jukebox during one of the last episodes - he appeared to be suffering from Down's Syndrome during that episode. Does anyone else know whether Screech was supposedly suffering from Down's Syndrome or was otherwise mentally retarded?

2 Answers


Anonymous
9 years ago
Favorite Answer

No, Dustin Diamond just grew up to be an untalented prick.


Anonymous
9 years ago

Great question! It did seem like Screech was a gay 'tard during the later seasons of the show. The writers of the show were clearly running out of new ideas, so they decided to make Screech stupider (and gayer) every season until it would have surprised me if Screech could even count to ten by the last season.
Source(s): Dustin Diamond fan websites

Is it true that Dustin Diamond and Dennis Haskins Dated during the mid-late 1990s?

Dustin Diamond and Dennis Haskins appeared together for many years on the Saturday morning TV show Saved By The Bell: The New Class. They seemed very chummy during the show and it appeared as though there was a certain degree of sexual tension between the two during some of the episodes. I heard a rumor that they were hooking up in the men's room on the set in between takes. Has anyone else heard whether they had a serious (or casual) dating history during the 1990s?

1 Answer


Anonymous
6 years ago

I cannot be certain, although they really did seem to be gay for each other. I imagine that Dustin would probably suck off Dennis Haskins in a bathroom stall during the lunch break.

Are Dustin Diamond and Max Goldberg the same person?

www.dustindiamond.com is registered to Max Goldberg. In 2003, Dustin Diamond supposed hired a lawyer and attempted to wrestle control of dustindiamond.com from Max Goldberg. In 2004 an Internet domain name arbitration board ruled that Max Goldberg was entitled to retain ownership of the domain. However, I heard that this may have been a big publicity stunt.
Are Dustin Diamond and Max Goldberg the same person?

2 Answers

Anonymous
1 decade ago
Favorite Answer

"Dustin Diamond" is the stage name for Max Goldberg - they are the same person! When Max started his acting career and joined the Screen Actors Guild ("SAG"), he discovered that someone in SAG was already acting under the name Max Goldberg. The prior Max Goldberg was a minor film actor who appeared in several low-budget horror flicks in the 1950s. Goldberg was told that in order to join SAG he would need to act under a different name. At this point, Max started acting under the name "Dustin Diamond." Think about it - the name "Dustin Diamond" sure sounds made-up, doesn't it - that name is clearly fabricated and sounds funny when spoken.

Goldberg/Diamond is nothing more than an Internet "Performance Artist" and engaged in the whole domain name dispute to raise publicity for himself and break back into acting!
Source(s): Various websites


Anonymous
1 decade ago

no his real name is dustin diamond

[edit] dustindiamond.com

In 2003, Diamond attempted to take control of the domain dustindiamond.com, which was owned by Max Goldberg, the creator of YTMND. Diamond was upset because the site is laid out to look extremely amateurish and incompetently prepared, for example with many spelling mistakes, contains gay fantasies relating to Diamond and links to porn websites. He alleged that it created confusion among visitors over whether he was the author of the site. Additionally, Goldberg allowed thousands of guestbook postings with extremely sexually-explicit content. Diamond's lawyer served Goldberg with a cease and desist order that was unsuccessful.

In 2004, the case was submitted to the National Arbitration Forum acting on behalf of the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN). Goldberg, then 21, represented himself through the suit, which Diamond ultimately lost. The decision read, in part:

"The Panel accepts Respondent’s argument that the "outrageous ugly and low-tech graphics and numerous errors and misspellings" as well as the sheer absurdity of the site’s claim that Dustin Diamond is a "Famous Superstar and Sex Symbol", clearly signal that the site is not meant to be taken seriously. Goldberg offered, in court, to produce various letters of support, confirming public understanding of the website's humor, including letters from a Professor of Cinema Studies who coauthored two well-known books of religious parody among other publications, and a letter from an art correspondent for the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, and the Oxford American. These writers called the website "an electronic art installation of great wit and outstanding merit," a "parody," and an "obvious and clearly affectionate joke." Whether the site is regarded as parody, satire, or critical commentary, and notwithstanding Respondent’s assertion that "lawyers are notoriously bad at understanding how humor works," this Panel finds that legitimate noncommercial fair use commentary is involved."[5]

The precedent-setting decision may be the first time that a celebrity has lost a domain name dispute to a non-commercial parody site.[6]

Is Dustin Diamond (Screech from Saved By The Bell) really gay?

I have searched for information about Dustin Diamond on various search engines and have discovered an inordinate number of websites, blogs, and forums with stories about Diamond being gay, having an illicit relationship with Dennis Haskins, and engaging in gay activities on a rowdy Saved By The Bell set.

13 Answers

Anonymous
1 decade ago
Favorite Answer

He lied about being married.  In this article he mentioned a specific date in 2003 on which he became married:  http://www.mkeonline.com/story.asp?id=357162

However, when he went on the Howard Stern show in June 2006 he said that he and Jennifer are "engaged."

Diamond made an appearance with Jennifer on the Tyra Banks Show a couple weeks ago and only introduced Jennifer as his girlfriend, not fiancee or wife!

It's obvious that he's been lying the whole time and he isn't even a good liar.  I think he only mentions his fake wife/fiancee/girlfriend to cover up the fact the he's gay.

P.S.  Diamond appears to have sarted the rumors about the size of his own penis.  I never read anything about this until he told Howard Stern it was huge during his June 2006 appearance.  However, Diamond refused to provide any corroborating evidence of this alleged hugeness. 

Anonymous
1 decade ago

I believe that he is bi-sexual. There are a lot of stories out there about him engaging in some crazy and rowdy activities with various men. In fact, he has a large following in the gay, lesbian and transgender community.

So in short, noone knows for sure but he doesn't help his case at all.


Anonymous
1 decade ago

I haven't heard anything about him being gay, but he did say he has a big penis. Poor guy, with the way he looks I hope he at least has that.

Anonymous
4 years ago

Wow, Thank you! Just what I was looking for. I tried looking for the answer on the internet but I couldn't find them.

Anonymous
1 decade ago

He is doing porn and selling it because he went broke that's what I found out on VH1 or E! not sure, but I think is heterosexual porn. So I don't think he is gay.

Anonymous
4 years ago

Haven't really thought about it
 

Anonymous
1 decade ago

i'm not sure about that one. I heard a sex-tape has been released of him with some girl. Maybe he is just bi? i'm really not sure. 

Anonymous
1 decade ago

He has a wife.  I don't know if this means anything or not.

Anonymous
4 years ago

Wanted to ask this question too this morning
 

Anonymous
1 decade ago

I don't think he is.

Anonymous
1 decade ago

yup

Anonymous
1 decade ago

all i know is the internet never lies
 

Anonymous
1 decade ago

i dont know about that but i do know he is dead broke.

How do gay men find men to hook up with at rest stops?

I have heard for years that many men meet gay lovers at highway rest stops, although I have never understood how this actually happens. Do gay men simply stare at other dudes using a urinal until one of those men lets the dude staring know that he is interested in having sweaty unprotected gay sex? Or do they sit in a stall and take a "wide stance" with their legs and try to play footsie with the person taking a dump in the adjacent stall?
How do gay men find men to hook up with at rest stops?

6 Answers


Anonymous
9 years ago
Favorite Answer

I think that they are supposed to tap on the stall partition or throw toilet paper under the space below the partition to the attention of the person in the next stall. I'm not sure whether the toilet paper is supposed to be used prior to being thrown.
Source(s): Word of mouth


Anonymous
4 years ago

Gay Rest Stops
Source(s): https://shrinke.im/a9XFE


Anonymous
9 years ago

When I'm at a rest stop I usually just cut a glory hole in the cubicle wall, flop my junk through, and ask if they want to give me a *******. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Remember to use manners.
brown's avatarbrown1 year ago

I don’t think that is what you do


Anonymous
9 years ago

They probably meet each other like they do anywhere else. By introducing themselves.

Anonymous
9 years ago

not true, they just go to bars like everyone else.


Anonymous
9 years ago

Lol what i never heard of this!!

Is it true that singer Neil Diamond has disowned Dustin Diamond?

Former child star Dustin Diamond is the biological son of popular singer Neil Diamond, although they've apparently had a falling out. I heard that Neil has cut Dustin out of his will because he thinks that Dustin is a terrible actor, extremely ugly, and an overall embarrassment to the Diamond name. Can anyone confirm these details or provide additional details?
Is it true that singer Neil Diamond has disowned Dustin Diamond?

6 Answers


Anonymous
1 decade ago
Favorite Answer

Neil Diamond is a successful singer and is ashamed that his son Dustin turned out to be such a loser and douche. The guy above is correct that Neil has other sons Jesse and Micah. However, Dustin pushed Neil's buttons so much that Dustin has been the only son that he's actually disowned (so far).

I think that Neil was ready to make up with Dustin in the early 1990s but was so enraged when Dustin started acting in Saved By The Bell: The New Class that he completely wrote Dustin out of his will. He must have thought that Dustin totally sucked on that show.
Source(s): gossip websites

Anonymous
3 years ago

Did anybody honestly seem on the residing house? Or at what the residing house web site says it extremely is a comedy web site. perhaps he extremely did struggle by using this foreclosures element, yet seem on the residing house. It does not even qualify as a shack. An outhouse, perhaps. And it says in "the tale" that he's on the line doing arise comedy. As for Dustin being Neil Diamond's son - no.


Anonymous
1 decade ago

Calling Dustin Diamond an 'actor' is an insult to actors everywhere.

Anonymous
1 decade ago

neil diamond has four children in his two sons are not named dustin diamond so get your facts straight before asking your question!.....

two daughters, Marjorie and Elyn,

two sons Jesse and Micah

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neil_Diamond#Personal...


Anonymous
5 years ago

I have also heard this story!


Anonymous
1 decade ago

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Queer Dustin Diamond Video

I remember seeing an extremely queer Dustin Diamond video posted years ago.  This video is entitled "Dustin Diamond stroke video for gay fans!"  The description reads, "A gay fan by the name of Sam made this fantastic compilation of Diamond! Make sure to watch with both hands free!"

There are a couple nice comments to this video:

UrLipsIsAllIRemember 5 years ago 
Goofy ass nigga, this shit is gay 


summerhaven32086 - 5 years ago 
This is completely ridiculous.  Most "gay fans" wouldn't be into stroking off to photos of a guy at ages 3-15....  This implies that most queer guys are into CHILDREN, which is not true at all;  statistically, in fact, by far most pedophiles are straight men into GIRLS.  These photos are OK, but definitely not "hands free" pics....  Ick.

 

Update - November 29, 2021

Unfortunately, YouTube has removed the video for including copyrighted music. 

Did Dustin Diamond Date Joe Exotic?

Joe Maldonado, better known as "Joe Exotic," is the star of a recently released Netflix documentary series entitled "Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness."  The documentary details Joe Exotic's life operating a large private zoo filled primarily with large cats such as tigers and lions, and also delves into his sexuality including his various homosexual relationships.   The documentary also exposed him as a self-professed gay redneck mullet-headed tiger breeder.

As many of you are aware, Dustin Diamond is down on his luck and supposedly currently works as an unpaid bathroom attendant handing out paper towels and offering breath mints to random men who have just expelled the contents of their bowels and urinated at men's rooms.  But apparently there is another rumor floating around the Internet which says that Diamond had a brief relationship with Joe Exotic a few years ago!

Diamond was looking at YouTube videos back in 2015 when he discovered the JoeExoticTV channel and started looking at the videos of Joe Exotic discussing his daily life at the zoo and complaining about "Fuckin' Bitch" Carole Baskin.

Diamond likes animals and immediately fell in love with Joe Exotic's sexy mullet and decided he had to meet the man.  So Diamond hopped on a Greyhound bus and managed to eventually make his way down to Wynnewood, Oklahoma where he went to Joe Exotic's Greater Wynnewood Exotic Animal Park.  Once he arrived, Diamond was so hungry that he ate one of the zoo's homemade pizzas filled with ingredients taken from expired food dumped into the dumpster behind the local Wal-Mart.

Diamond then went to use the bathroom and ran into the Joe Exotic at the urinal next to his!  Diamond introduced himself as "Screech" from "Saved By The Bell" and said he was a big fan and loved the pizza he had just eaten.  Joe Exotic replied that he had never seen "Saved By The Bell" but was glad that he liked the pizza.  Diamond then went into the animal park and enjoyed looking at the animals and loved it when one of the lions peed on him!

At around 8PM that night, the zoo closed and Diamond left along with the other visitors that day.  Diamond did not have a place to stay, so he decided to sleep on the side of the road next to a family of raccoons he had seen on his way in.  In the middle of the night, Diamond snuck into Exotic Joe's trailer and attempted to wake him up by rubbing his balls in Exotic Joe's face!  Exotic Joe woke up and was none too pleased by Diamond's transgression!

Joe Exotic pulled out his pistol and hit Diamond in the face with it and then kicked him out of the trailer!  Then Joe Exotic pulled down Diamond's Zubaz and started butt-slamming him in front of a tiger enclosure while several workers at the park watched while smoking crystal meth!  Joe Exotic suddenly roared like a lion while blowing his load into Diamond's brownpipe!  Joe Exotic proceeded to kick Diamond out of the park, accused him of being a spy for Carole Baskin!  Joe Exotic sure taught Diamond a lesson that time!

Photo of Dustin "Screech" Diamond as an Unpaid Bathroom Attendant

As many of you are aware, Dustin "Screech" Diamond is apparently an unpaid bathroom attendant.  His acting career is all but done and he has abandoned his dreams of performing in a band and being a stand-up comedian.  In order to make ends meet, he has started pursuing a job as an unpaid bathroom attendant.  He enjoys hanging out in men's rooms while listening to random strangers pee, taking dumps, and rip heinous farts.  He hands paper towels to bathroom patrons and offers them mints and samples of cologne in exchange for tips.

Here is a recent picture of him working in his new profession.  This picture was apparently taken in a highway rest stop in New Jersey a few ago. I'm glad to see he's finally getting his life back on track!

Mr. Belding Teaches Screech a Lesson About the Coronavirus

Screech and Mr. Belding have been down on their luck ever since Bayside High School temporarily laid off its employees and independent contractors.  Even though Mr. Belding is a high school principal with a salary in excess of $200k, he has little savings due to his addictions to gay porn, cocaine, and Dunkin' Donuts.  Screech, on the other hand, is in an even worse situation as he works solely for tips as an unpaid bathroom attendant and has been unable to work for the past several weeks.  Being short on cash, Screech and Mr. Belding have temporarily moved into a YMCA which offers cheap rooms and has a community bathroom at the end of their hall.

Even though he weighs 400 lbs and is nearly 70 years old, Mr. Belding still has a voracious sexual appetite and has his way with Screech every night when he has rough anal sex with Screech and makes Screech tongue his anus!  The other day after eating 7 large burritos from Taco Bell, Mr. Belding waddled to the bathroom to take a massive dump.  While taking a dump, Screech was in the men's room washing his hands and he heard Mr. Belding rip an insanely loud fart.  Screech then realized that he had to take a dump of his own, so he entered a stall near Mr. Belding's and sat down and squeaked out a pathetic excuse for a fart.  When Mr. Belding heard Screech's fart, he was irate and yelled at Screech for interrupting his dump and for possibly exposing him to the Coronavirus!  Screech replied, "Zoinks!  Oopsie!  Sorry Chief, but I had to go!"  Screech also pointed out that he had just eaten our Mr. Belding's ass and had been on the receiving end of anal sex from Mr. Belding a mere 30 minutes earlier and that there was therefore no way that he could catch the Coronavirus from him.

Mr. Belding was so angry at Screech that he jumped off his toilet and kicked open the door to Screech's stall even though his pants were still down and he still had feces stuck in his asscrack!  Mr. Belding then punched Screech in his huge nose and grabbed Screech by the Jew-fro and launched him into a sink!  Mr. Belding then wiped his ass clean with Screech's coarse Jew-fro before ripping a wet fart in Screech's face!  Mr. Belding then told Screech to clean himself up and go buy a deep dish pepperoni pizza for him to eat later!

Mr. Belding sure taught Screech a lesson about the Coronavirus that time!

 

Dustin Diamond Took a Job at NBC Studios Last Year

Dustin Diamond was notoriously excluded from the upcoming reboot of Saved By The Bell, the show on which he starred for more than a decade back in the late 1980s-90s.  However, I have it on good authority that he has taken a job with NBC Studios again, his first full-time job in 20 years!  This is an account which I discovered posted in another forum:

I visited the NBC Studios in Burbank, California last year and toured the old Saved By The Bell set!  I got to walk through The Max, down the halls of Bayside, and peeked into Mr. Belding's office.  I actually sat in the three-wheeled golf cart where the SBTB gang learned to drive in Driver's Ed, and I ventured into the boy's locker room where Mr. Belding used to lift weights right in front of adolescent boys changing during gym class.  It was a fun time reminiscing about one of my favorite TV shows from long ago.

After the tour, our guide took us to the food court.  It was the most unusual food court I've ever seen as they only offered pizza for sale and the only option was deep dish pepperoni pizza!  And if that wasn't strange enough the only liquid refreshment available was large cups of Mountain Dew - they didn't even have a water fountain!  I was famished so I purchased a slice of the pizza and the Mountain Dew and then found a table where I gobbled down the food and watched an old Saved By The Bell episode which was airing on TVs in the cafeteria - they were playing the "Miss Bayside" episode where Screech won a beauty contest.

About 5 minutes after eating, I felt a rumbling in my belly and realized that I needed to find a men's room where I could go #2.  Fortunately, there was a men's room nearby although when I walked in there were only two stalls and both were occupied.  There was also a line of five men in front of me.  There was a bathroom attendant who looked like a weirdo - he was standing near the sink and had a small display of breath mints, cologne, and paper towels.  He also was also a fat white guy who had a big poofy curly 'fro.  

While I was standing in line, a man in front of me ripped a heinous pepperoni fart and it stunk up the men's room!  The bathroom attendant walked up to the man and then knelt down and started sniffing his ass before saying, 'Well played!" and offering him a mint.  The attendant was so gay and enamored by the men's fart that it was very creepy.  A minute later after struggling to hold in my own fart, I unleashed a nasty fart of my mine and it smelled awful!  The bathroom attendant looked over at me with a strange smile and then asked if I wanted a mint before telling me he enjoyed my fart!

I looked over at the bathroom attendant and was shocked to discover that it was Dustin "Screech" Diamond himself!  I asked why he was a bathroom attendant and he replied that his official title was "Unpaid Bathroom Attendant" and that NBC made it clear that he was not an employee, although he was allowed to work for tips.   I then turned so that my ass was facing him and ripped another smelly fart.  He got an enormous smile on his face and then fell over convulsing while jizzing his pants!  

He's a strange guy but I'm glad he finally has a sustainable career since acting hasn't worked out for him since Saved By The Bell was cancelled 20 years ago!

Mr. Belding Makes a Coronavirus Face Mask for Screech

The United States' Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recently recommended that everyone wear cloth face masks when out in public as a preventative measure to avoid spreading the Covid-19 Coronavirus.  When Mr. Belding heard about the recommendation, he crafted a homemade face mask for Screech to wear. Specifically, Mr. Belding saw a pair of his underwear on the floor and thought that it would be the perfect face mask for Screech to wear.

Screech walked back into Mr. Belding's home after taking out the garbage and Mr. B presented the face mask to Screech and told him to put it on and then go get him an extra large deep dish pepperoni pizza.  Screech uttered "Zoinks!" and said that he didn't want to wear the mask because there were yellow pee stains in the front and hershey stains in the back!  Screech also asked why Mr. Belding hadn't at least washed the underwear before handing it to him.  Mr. B got really angry with Screech and informed him that the pee and dookie stains serve as a natural filter to protect him from the Coronavirus!  Mr. B was also angry that Screech dared to question him and decided to teach Screech yet another lesson!  Mr. B punched Screech in his hook nose and then grabbed his Jew-fro and shoved him into a wall!  Mr. B then pulled down his underwear and grabbed Screech's face and shoved it in between his sweaty ass cheeks before ripping a wet fart.  Mr. B is notorious for failing to wipe properly and his wet fart smelled absolutely heinous!  The fart was so powerful that it snapped Screech's head back, giving him whiplash!  Mr. B then pulled down Screech's Zubaz and pounded away at Screech's anus until pulling out and blowing his STD-ridden seed into Screech's face!  Mr. B sure taught Screech about face masks that time!

"A-Rod Learns Another Lesson About the Coronavirus"

Corky likes to prank his gay lover, A-Rod, by ripping wet farts in his face to wake him up in the morning.  However, A-Rod is terrified that he his is going to catch the Coronavirus which has been rapidly spreading around the world.  Yesterday A-Rod asked Corky not to fart in his face anymore until the Coronavirus pandemic has passed.  When Corky heard this he got mad because he thought A-Rod was trying to trick him by using big words such as "pandemic."  A-Rod elaborated that he still loved Corky, but that he was afraid he would contract the Coronavirus from Corky's dookie juice which is expelled in Corky's wet farts.  Corky is immune to the Coronavirus although he can be an asymptomatic carrier as a result of his superior 'tard immune system.  Since he is immune, Corky thinks that the panic over Coronavirus is a prank.  When A-Rod begged Corky to stop farting in his face, Corky got really angry and accused A-Rod of being a liar!  Corky then slugged A-Rod right in the balls before pulling down his overflowing diaper and ripping a wet dookie-filled fart into A-Rod's mouth!  Corky yelled "Enjoy your meal, FAGGOT!!!!" as he ripped another wet fart in A-Rod's face!  Corky then grabbed an 8-pack of toilet paper A-Rod had stored in the bathroom and smacked A-Rod in the head with it!  A-Rod pleaded with Corky not to destroy the toilet paper as most places have been out of stock.  Corky then dropped the toilet paper and began ass-slamming A-Rod!  A-Rod moaned in delight although he still asked Corky to stop!  Corky then blew his 'tard load into A-Rod before grabbing a couple rolls of toilet paper and shoving them up A-Rod's brownpipe!  Corky sure taught A-Rod a lesson about the Coronavirus that time!!