Sunday, October 12, 2008

Old posts from DustinDiamond.com (part 25)

09th October 2007 - 09:24:07 AM
85161 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey Diamond, do you watch the Fox TV show, Prison Break? The former Fox River prison guard/current Panamanian prisoner Brad Bellick was wearing Zubaz pants! I think he was wearing them because he is a prison bitch and is going to have sex with other dudes, just like you will be when you serve prison time for your t-shirt scam.

07th October 2007 - 10:44:57 PM
85154 : Kurt Steinberg
Does anyone know where Belding earned his undergraduate and master's degrees in Elementary Education? It has been well-established that Belding taught Screech many lessons while at Bayside. However, Belding's teaching methods were very unorthodox. Most teachers make their students learn by making them read, write papers, and do homework. Belding, however, taught Screech many different lessons primarily by inserting his massive cock into Screech's ass or taking a shit in Screech's jew-fro. What was that all about?

04th October 2007 - 02:56:01 PM
85132 : Kurt Steinberg
Noah, if you really want your goonie.com website to be successful, you need to secure an interview with Chris Burke, the actor who played Sloth in The Goonies. That lovable 'tard is so much fun!

03rd October 2007 - 12:11:01 AM
85117 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, do you still hang out with Jeremy Miller from Growing Pains? I read somewhere that you two were best friends when you were kids. Maybe you should act in one of those McDonald's commercials like Miller did last year. You could probably make enough money to buy one month's supply of Beef 'f Cheddars from Arby's for your beast.

02nd October 2007 - 12:42:47 AM
85108 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, do you remember that episode where you were poking around Belding's office looking for a pen to use? Remember when you opened the bottom drawer of his desk and discovered his stash of Nazi memorabilia? Remember when he walked in and saw you looking in his desk and told you that his grandfather was a Nazi in WWII? Remember when when Belding showed you a can of Zyklon B poisonous gas? Remember when he cracked it open and tried to kill you with the poisonous fumes as he called you a "dirty kike"? Man, Belding sure hated you, didn't he?

27th September 2007 - 05:10:52 PM
85071 : Kurt Steinberg
JewveBeenFramed, you raise a good point in that Diamond has become a fat tub of shit. However, he does have a huge sexy hook nose, unlike Carrot Top. Moreover, because of all of the steroids he takes, Carrot Top has probably grown a vagina. :( After having unprotected buttsex with Diamond, I would want to stomp on his nuts with steel-toed boots. Even though it has been pretty well established that Diamond has a tiny baby-dick, Carrot Top might not even have a dick at all anymore.

Also, don't forget that Diamond also has a neatly trimmed beard, unlike the Top. There's something sexy about a gay man walking around with little chunks of my shit stuck in his beard after I've shit all over his face.

20th September 2007 - 11:14:58 AM
85026 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I have seen pictures of you as a child in which you had straight hair. How exactly did you form your current curly Jew-fro? Is it true that Belding's disgusting farts smelled so bad that they somehow altered the DNA in your hair follacles, cuasing your hair to curl? Is that also the reason why you morphed from being a smart kid when you started at Bayside to a total retard when you dropped out of college at California University to become Belding's Bayside assistant?

20th September 2007 - 10:32:31 AM
85024 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, when Belding is smoking a cigar, how does he put out the cigar when he is done with it? Does he rub the lit cigar on you tiny zoinker, or does he rub ot out on your huge hooked nose?

17th September 2007 - 02:56:27 PM
85010 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, please go on a crash diet and lose 100 lbs. Nobody likes you as a total jewish fat-ass. You need to go back to being a scrawny pencil-necked jewish dork. Your bird chest from your days on Saved By The Bell was so sexy. I really want to take a shit on it and then piss all over you and shoot my load into your enormous hooked gonzo nose. Let's get together!

17th September 2007 - 09:24:04 AM
85006 : Kurt Steinberg
OJ, your murdering ass is finally going to jail! There's no way that the Las Vegas jury/judge is going to be as racist/stupid as the 1995 LA jury was that acquitted you. You deserve to room with a portly inmate who treats you like his own personal "Dustin Diamond" (i.e., as a living gay sex doll).

15th September 2007 - 11:13:01 AM
84985 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, when you are taking a shower with Belding, is it true that he hogs the water from the showerhead because he is so morbidly obese? Is it also true that the only way you can clean yourself is by rinsing in a stream of Belding's piss while he washes the hair on his ass?

12th September 2007 - 10:26:12 PM
84973 : Kurt Steinberg
Cecilia Fahlberg, why the fuck are you posting here shithead? I'm going to boot you in the cunt. This is a QUEERS-ONLY message board. Diamond created this guestbook for his depraved homosexual fans to exchange hot Diamond-related spank material.

11th September 2007 - 05:28:57 PM
84967 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, we need to hook up for some hot and sweaty unprotected buttsex immediately. Let's meet in the alley behind The Sizzler in Milwaukee, WI. I'll meet you over by the green dumpster in the back. You know the one - it's the one that someone barfed on over the weekend. I really want to spray diarrhea in your face and then insert your grotesque gonzo nose into my butthole for pleasure. Give me a reach-around while I'm sitting on your nose and then I'll be sure to blow my load all over your pube goatee. You must be creaming your pants just thinking about this awesome opportunity!!!

11th September 2007 - 12:59:57 AM
84960 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, we need to have sex! I want to shoot my cum down your throat ASAP!!!!!!

07th September 2007 - 12:32:31 AM
84933 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey Diamond, have you ever hooked up with the disgraced Republican senator Larry Craig in an airport bathroom? What about that faggot Democrat Representative from Massachusetts, Barney Frank? Have you sucked on Barney Frank's diseased cock? Did you know that Barney Frank was involved in a scandal in the early 1990s when it was revealed that he was paying a queer escort for gay sex, and let the gay escort move in with him and run a gay prostitution ring from his own house?

Does it turn you on when you think about all of the deranged homosexuals running this country, promoting the gay agenda? I know you do your part with your website here, which you obviously set up to promote homosexuality. Maybe you should do your duty to your country by giving your chubby body to all of the deviant queers in Congress and let them have their way with you? Go do it, buddy - you're an icon to all of your many, many, many queer fans!!!

05th September 2007 - 03:32:07 PM
84920 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, is it true that you enjoy sneaking into gay bathhouses and licking the STD-ridden semen that is dripping out of the asses of the dudes that are there?

04th September 2007 - 11:06:16 AM
84903 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I demand that you immediately delete the spam that has been posted here! You need to realize that many of your queer fans are white collar workers who work in office buildings. I personally have my own office at my workplace and often leave the door wide open when cracking one off. It took me a few extra seconds today to blow my load because I was scrolling past the sea of spam. :( Please rectify this problem immediately!!!!!!

- Kurt Steinberg

03rd September 2007 - 08:43:00 PM
84883 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I heard that one time, when you were a student at Bayside, your mom got upset with you for playing whiffle ball in the backyard. I heard that she yelled at you and said that you'd better come inside before you break any windows. I further heard that she drove to the grocery store to pick up some orange juice and then Belding snuck into your house and raped you. I also heard that Belding ran outside and through your backyard as he fled. I further heard that Belding had eaten Taco Bell earlier in the day and it was giving him gas. I heard that as he ran through your backyard, he farted with the force of a megaton bomb, causing a sonic boom and shattering the windows on your house! Please confirm that when your mom arrived home from the store and saw the blood on the floor that had dripped from your rectum, she assumed that you broke the windows and then cut yourself while playing whiffle ball. I heard you were grounded for a month. Is this story true?

31st August 2007 - 01:46:22 PM
84856 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, when are you going to come up with a new money-making scam? Maybe you should claim that you cannot support your son, Zoinks Diamond. You could host a telethon entitled "Save Zoinks" to con money out of Saved By The Bell fans. Dennis Haskins would probably pledge a couple bucks to Save Zoinks. Of course, Haskins would probably break into your house a week later and make you earn his donation the hard way.

30th August 2007 - 01:29:20 AM
84841 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, is it true that Belding taught you how to play pocket pool that time when you were eating lunch with him in the Bayside Teacher's Lounge? Is it also true that Belding got mad when he saw you pleasuring yourself one day and said "Screech, your only purpose in life is to please my deviant homosexual desires?" Is it also true that that Belding rammed a pool cue up your jewish brownpipe to teach you a lesson while Mr. Tuttle watched and masturbated vigorously? Please let me know soon, buddy!

29th August 2007 - 11:27:37 AM
84831 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey, Kattis Nykanin (message 84828), why are you posting spam here on Diamond's queer message board? I'm going to squirt my load in your eyes and then position my asscrack 3 inches from your face a drop ass! I will then kick you in the junk and then trow you in a dumpster with several horny homeless queers!

27th August 2007 - 11:26:18 AM
84809 : Kurt Steinberg
Screech, do you remmeber that time when you were at Bayside and there was a solar eclipse during the middle of the afternoon? Remember how Mr. Belding was your substitute science teacher that day and he led the class outside to witness the solar eclipse? Remember when you told Belding that you heard that it was bad for one's eyes to look directly at a solar eclipse? Remember when Belding said that was a bunch of b.s. and then gave you a pair of powerful binoculars and told you to get a good look at the eclipse through the binoculars? Remember when you looked at the eclipse and saw an incredibly bright light and then felt a burning sensation in your eyes and temporarily blinded you? Please confirm that Belding kicked you in your pre-pubsecient beanbag while you were fumbling about trying to see, and then spit-roasted you with AC Slater. Is it true that Belding still laughs about this incident to this day and mentions it during school assemblies, much to the delight of the students? Is it further true that you suffered permanent vision loss in your right eye? I guess you learned all about solar eclipses in that episode.

24th August 2007 - 01:28:51 PM
84786 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, when making love to Dennis Haskins, is it true that smokes a pipe while vioilently ass-raping you? Is it further true that after blowing his load, he pulls out and then dumps the red hot ashes from his pipe into your butthole?

23rd August 2007 - 06:57:10 PM
84784 : Kurt Steinberg
Has the earth flipped on its axis??? I cannot believe that Princess Peussie actually posted something relevant for once! Peussie, would you like to use Diamond's baby cock and tiny balls ashtray for putting out lit cigars, cigarettes, and pipes? I sure would and I don't even smoke. But I'd take it up in order to rub red-hot cigar butts on Diamond's genetalia!

22nd August 2007 - 01:56:49 PM
84773 : Kurt Steinberg
Chief Papakoo, the mere thought of someone putting out a pipe or even a cigar or cigarette on Diamond's tiny genitals is a real turn-on for a demented queer like me. Shit, I need to go crack one off right about now!

22nd August 2007 - 12:35:27 PM
84770 : Kurt Steinberg
Chief Papakoo, that story is so hot! Do you have any video or pictures of you putting your peace pipe out on Screech's tiny cock?

21st August 2007 - 03:51:21 PM
84760 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, you need to return to your roots in order to salvage what's left of your career. Go on a crash diet and get down to maybe 130 lbs. Once you're super-skinny, start wearing your Zubaz pants again and grow your jew-fro nice and long. Then you can appear in self-parody roles as the stereotypical jewish nerd and who is the homosexual victim of many deranged queers!

16th August 2007 - 11:34:18 AM
84713 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey asshole, do you have any idea how much money I've lost over the past 5 weeks as the market has gone into the toilet, kind if like your career? I blame you for this. Obviously, foreign investors decided to dump US stocks after watching your crappy performance on Saved By the Bell. Belding ought to track you down and smack your gonzo nose and tiny nutbag with a car antenna until you are a bloody mess and collapse (much like your rectum). Tuttle will then seal up your tiny dickhole for good with a soldering iron. Some solder smoldering at 450 degrees Fahrenheit out to do the trick.

15th August 2007 - 12:19:53 AM
84693 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey gang, I just got word of a hot breakfast cereal queer gangbang taking placing in Key West at the rest stop off mile marker 23 of the Overseas Highway (the southernmost leg of U.S. Highway 1) next Saturday, August 18th.

I'm going dressed as Cap'n Crunch and plan on taking a Taco Bell fueled shit into Count Chocula's mouth. I will then have unprotected buttsex with the Trix Rabbit. Meanwhile, the Snap! Crackle! and Pop! Rice Crispies queers will be daisy-chaining each other and the Lucky Charms Leprachaun will teabag the Honey Nut Cheerios bee. I also heard that Tony the Tiger and the Nestle Quik Rabbit will spitroast the Honey Smacks frog! This is going to be hot, so make plans accordingly!!!

09th August 2007 - 03:07:37 PM
84645 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I have an important questions for you. I believe this may have been asked previously, but you never provided an answer.

Is it true that one time, when you were at Bayside helping out during the summer, Belding went the entire month of July without washing his nuts? Is it also true that the air conditioning was broken because Milo was upset that he hadn't received a pay increase for the year and so he jammed his "sodomy" mop into the air conditioner blades to break them? Is it further true that Belding sweat practically nonstop in his office that July and that his entire office smelled rank and like ass? Is it also true that you walked into Belding's office one day as he was dropping trow? Is it further true that when you licked his nuts, you tasted 31 days worthy of salty and dirty ball sweat and that you level of salt in the sweat gave you blood poisoning and kidney failure? Please confirm the details of this story. Thanks, buddy!

08th August 2007 - 04:37:46 PM
84632 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, is it true that every time Belding farts, two million Joules of energy are released, which is more than a stick of dynamite? Man, his asshole is practically radioactive! Has he ever given you radiation poisoning? Please contact me to discuss.

07th August 2007 - 03:54:06 PM
84612 : Kurt Steinberg
Gwando, please join us at our fine forum:
http://dustindiamondlove.com/forum/index.php

07th August 2007 - 11:30:22 AM
84606 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey shithead (a.k.a. Pricess Peussie), if you are going to post under my name, you could have at least posted something homo-erotic, informative, or funny. You did none of these.

Go listen to some of the opera music you enjoy with your other limp-wristed bisexual friends. Maybe you should take your postings over to an opera forum where you other like-minded fruits will perhaps appreciate your ramblings?

07th August 2007 - 09:40:49 AM
84604 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, please confirm or deny the details of the following "remember when" story.


Diamond, remember when Belding had unprotected buttsex with you and you you impregnanted with his potent seed? Remember how you decided to name your butt baby "Zoinks Diamond"? Remember how scared you were and thought that your mom and Kevin the Robot would be really upset with you? Remember how Belding didn't want to have any child support for his butt baby? Remember when Belding showed up on your doorstep and the remnants of a Taco Bell Taco Supreme on his chins? Remember when he told you that he had a plan to help your abort little Zoinks, so that your worries would go away? Remember when you decided to take him up on his plan? Remember when he said that if he farted in your face enough time, the butt fetus of little Zoinks would die? Remember when he did this for 30 minutes until you were completely pale and nauseous? Remember when he then said Zoinks was probably dead, but if he was still alive, Belding had another plan for the abortion? Remember when Belding stuck his massive cock in your brownpipe and said he was going to poke out the eyes of little Zoinks with his massive cock and his powerfully thrust it into your nether regions? Remember how he finally pulled out after 15 minutes, leaving you in a bloody mess? Remember when you later found out that Belding had pulled a fast one on you and that none of the deranged things he had done to you aborted Zoinks? Belding taught you about biology that time!

06th August 2007 - 06:31:46 PM
84596 : Kurt Steinberg
Peussie, you obviously have some type of middle-aged homo-erotic obsession with me. As usual, you have posted nonsensical tripe here and I don't even understand your pointless posts. None of the other queers who post here listen to the shitty opera music to which you enjoy jerking off. Get into your rusty 1967 Volkswagon Microbus and drive to the rest stop just east of Pittsburgh. You need to walk up to the second bathroom stall, knock three times, and whisper "Zoinker!" Dennis will then come out and whip you in the nuts with a car antenna until you pass out from pleasurable pain. When you wake up from your blissful nirvana, you will find that HIV juice has been blown all over your obese saggy chest, for healing purposes. After that you should go on vacation or possible kill yourself, because everyone who has ever posted here hates you.

06th August 2007 - 04:48:27 PM
84593 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, if you really want to make money without really working hard, why don't you set up your own website and post daily (or semidaily) rants, kind of like you used to do on MySpace? People would definitely visit your website and you might even make a few bucks of the crappy Google ads.

05th August 2007 - 08:23:30 PM
84575 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, what have you done with your butt baby son, little Zoinks Diamond? Did Belding, the biological father, acquire custody from you, the biological mother? I hope that Child Protective Services pays you a visit!

05th August 2007 - 01:51:10 PM
84572 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, did you like it when you were on Saved By The Bell: The New class and the teachers used to use your huge jew-fro as a tissue during the cold season while you were eating lunch in the Teachers' Lounge? Were their quick-drying boogers easy to wash out?

02nd August 2007 - 02:41:56 PM
84542 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, how do you keep track of your scheduled rimjobs and unprotected buttsex? Do you a Blackberry with a calendaring feature? Do you a laptop computer with Microsoft Outlook, or do you keep track with a desk-sized daily planner? Please let me know! Zoinks!

02nd August 2007 - 12:28:20 PM
84539 : Kurt Steinberg
Decuer and Rocco, when I am at the gym, I sometimes roll in a TV and DVD player on a rolling cart so that I can watch Saved By The Bell episodes when I am in the steam room. There are no electrical outlets in the steam room because it would be a fire hazard. In order to power up the TV, I went out to Ace Hardware and purchased a 75-foot electrical cord, which I pulled into an outlet near the sinks in the locker room, and then connected the other end to the TV in the steam room. A started cracking one off, as did a couple other random queers in the steam room with me as an episode started playing. The TV screen quickly steamed over, although I could still hear the sound. After 15 minutes, there was shit, semen, and urine all over the floor and benches! Moreover, enough condensation collected in the TV to short-circuit it, causing a minor fire as some transistors exploded! It was pretty hot, although someone named Neil suffered 2nd-degree burns from the fire.

31st July 2007 - 11:12:32 PM
84518 : Kurt Steinberg
Rocco, I've had to discard many soiled Zubaz pants in random lockers at my gym. I also occassionally lift weights while wearing shiny skin-tight pink biker shorts. I find that the shorts are so soft that some dudes come up to me and sniff and rub my asscrack while I'm sitting down at a Universal machine doing lat pulls after ripping several loud farts. The great thing about biker shorts is that shit stains wash right out of the Lycra material.

However, some queers do prefer the stronger smell of ass that only offical Zubaz pants worn commando can generate. The Zubaz don't "breathe" and can trap in the smell from 60 minutes worth of farts and feces during an intense workout - many dudes are into that type of thing.

30th July 2007 - 02:42:30 PM
84508 : Kurt Steinberg
Rocco and Ass Vomit, do either of you lift weights commando-style (with no underwear underneath) at the gym while wearing Zubaz? Sometimes like to do arm curls with the curl bar after haven eaten Taco Bell for lunch. The Taco Bell rarely sits quitely in my stomach and occassionally I have the urge to rip a loud and smelly fart or take a huge dump while in the middle of my set. The other day I ripped a loud fart and had a massive turtle-head sticking out of my asshole by the time I finished my third rep in my set. By the time I struggled to the tenth rep, a huge shit log had been purged from my colon and moved its way down near the ankle area of my blank-and-white Zubaz. This gym is in the gay part of town and a couple dudes who smelled what I had done took me into the shower where they ate my meaty turd and rubbed knobs!

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Old posts from DustinDiamond.com (part 24)

26th July 2007 - 06:05:49 PM
84465 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I just looked at how much money I've lost over the past week as a result of the shitty stock market performance and have decided to take it out on our ass. Is that cool with you? Do you think you would mind it I were to break off the antenna on your father's rusty 1968 Volkswagon Microbus and whip you in the pre-pubsecient beanbag until your nuts turn black and blue and you pass out from the pain? Please let me know if you are ok with my game plan. Thanks buddy!

25th July 2007 - 06:51:40 PM
84456 : Kurt Steinberg
I followed up with:

"Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 11:11 pm Post subject:
--------------------------------------------------------
Diamond probably also has an Ewok Village and Boba Fett's spaceship lodged up there as well. "

25th July 2007 - 06:43:46 PM
84455 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamondcutter, I think I found what you were thinking. By the way, the searching capability of dustindiamondlove.com is far superior to that of the old DDL invision board.

I wrote this response to Buckin's "Kevin Jr." gay fantasy:

"Buckins, was Kevin Jr. a Go-Bot or Trasnformer?

I wonder how many R2-D2 Star Wars toys Slater and Zack lodged up Screech's brownpipe over the years? Screech could open a flea market with all of the antique toys that have been stuck up his rectum over the years.
"

http://www.dustindiamondlove.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=60&highlight=star+wars

25th July 2007 - 02:57:25 PM
84452 : Kurt Steinberg
diamondcutter, is the "Time Capsule" recap the one you are thinking of? It has Star Wars figures, but Belding broke them in half.

http://dustindiamondlove.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1317

"Posted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 9:31 pm Post subject: Diamond's time Capsule

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Diamond, do you remember that time back in 1987 where you created your own "time capsule" and filled it with your most prized possessions? Remember when the time capsule was a big glass jar with papers taped around the outside so that you couldn't see into the jar? Remember when you buried it in your backyard in Indianapolis, IN when you lived there and attended John F. Kennedy Jr. High? Remember when you dug it up when your family moved to Los Angeles so that you could attend Bayside High School, one of the best high schools in the country, and also get away from Mr. Belding who had been molesting you? Remember when you re-buried the time capsule in your backyard in Los Angeles, intended to open it in the year 2007, some 20 years after you created the time capsule? Remember how the time capsule had your most prized possessions, including 1983 Donruss Wade Boggs and Tony Gwynn rookie cards, 1984 TOPPS Darryl Strawberry and Don Mattingly rookie cards, and a 1985 TOPPS Kirby Puckett rookie card? Remember how you also had some Hubba Bubba bubble gum packages, audio tapes from the Human League, the Footloose soundtrack, several Star Wars action figures, old baby pictures and your junior high diploma and reports cards? Remember how you also placed placed about $75 in dollar bills and coins from the year 1986? Remember when you dug up the time capsule a few days ago and were so excited because you were about to open the time capsule and see the most cherished and valuable possessions from your childhood? Remember how less excited you were when you unscrewed the lid to the time capsule and a pungent odor emerged? Remember when you dumped the contents of the time capsule jar on your table and discovered a note that read: "fuck you, jew bastard! - Mr. Belding"? Remember when you discovered that Belding must have raided your time capsule and stolen your baseball cards and replaced them with his own Bayside business cards? Remember how the business cards had brown shit stains on them? Remember how you also discovered that Belding had apparently taken a shit in the jar after eating corn and peanuts, as Belding's feces had practically turned to dust over the previous 20 years, yet you could still make out little bits of undigested corn and peanuts? Remember how the $75 in change and dollars was gone and had been replaced with rusty nails? Rememebr when you cut yourself with one of the rusty nails and contracted tetanus? Remember when you saw that Belding had ripped the arms and legs off of your Chewbacca Star Wars action figures? Remember when you also discovered that your baby photos and diplomas were gone and later found out that Belding had sold them to some deviant queers on eBay? You sure learned to keep an eye on your time capsule that time!!!!!

25th July 2007 - 01:55:38 AM
84446 : Kurt Steinberg
Did anyone else notice that Screech's grandfather seems to like Screech's poodle more than he likes Screech? Gramps is playing with Screech's dog in his two photos, but little Screechie is nowhere to be seen.

Also, little Diamond seems disappointed with the Return of the Jedi Rancor his father gave him in one of the Christmas photos. Diamond, I remember getting some Return of the Jedi toys myself during Christmas 1983. I didn't get a Rancor, but I did get the Ewok Village where that little homo Ewok, Wicket, lived. Diamond, you should have shown more appreciation to your parents for the Christmas gifts they gave you. Maybe that's why they stole all of your SBTB earnings!

25th July 2007 - 01:46:19 AM
84445 : Kurt Steinberg
I saw those pictures as well. "Diamond" is definitely a Jewish name and Dustin Diamond clearly has an oilly Jew-fro. I suspect that Dustin's father is jewish, but his mother followed a Christian denomination. I'm pretty sure that half-jews usually follow the religion of the mother. I actually know someone unrelated to me with the Steinberg last name who is not jewish because his mother was not jewish (although his father was and still is).

22nd July 2007 - 08:29:35 PM
84406 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, when Tuttle is jerking off, is he talented enough to shoot all of his cum down your throat? Or does some of his STD-ridden semen land on your huge hook nose or in your terrorist beard? Please let me know soon, buddy!

22nd July 2007 - 04:58:13 PM
84402 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, is it true that Tuttle and Belding both used to call you their "cum guzzling queen" when you a student at Bayside?

20th July 2007 - 11:29:49 AM
84385 : Kurt Steinberg
BLACK GUY, if you want a long hard dick in your ass, Screech isn't going to satisfy you, as it is well-known that he is hung like a 3-month-old baby. Perhaps you could hook up with Belding. Belding is definitely packing, and if you don't beleive me, take a look at Screech's gaping asshole. Kevin the Robot said that Screech as to wear a diaper 24x7 because of the way Belding stretched out his brownpipe.

18th July 2007 - 02:35:56 PM
84367 : Kurt Steinberg
Screech, I distinctly remember your mom, Mrs. Powers, making at least one appearance on Saved By The Bell. Do you remember that episode where Slater and Zack were pulling a train with her in front of a masturbating Mr. Tuttle?

I can't remember seeing your dad, Mr. Powers, in any episodes. Was he ever in any episodes? Did he run away with Rod Belding and have a passionate queer affair? Or is Mr. Belding your real father?

17th July 2007 - 10:40:18 AM
84352 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, do you enjoy going to rest stops and letting truckers piss in your jew-fro and squirt their ropey loads in your mouth?

16th July 2007 - 02:23:24 PM
84346 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, in honor of your guestbook's anniversary, I just took a nasty shit in some random dude's pool down here in Key West. Within minutes my chocolate hot dog was spotted and then a couple queers jumped into the pool and started playing within it and eventually gobbled it down like Pac-Man eats those power pellets.

16th July 2007 - 10:17:14 AM
84342 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, thank you for creating this awesome guestbook 6 years ago. I'm glad that you allowed the guestbook to quickly adopt its current gay theme with the 3rd and 4th messages:

" 16th July 2001 - 07:26:13 AM
4 : Brian
Wow! Dustin, I'm so glad you have a webpage! I have been looking for you in movies and stuff, why aren't you in movies and stuff?
And are you gay? If you are would you maybe go out with me?


16th July 2001 - 07:21:48 AM
3 : sleazy
Dustin, big fan. Really i am. I'm also a big fan of peanut butter. I like peanut butter. Are you a helmet? Mr. Diamond, the fan club would like to ask you if you had any homosexual tendancies to anyone on the cast of Saved By The Bell. Was Lisa Turtle just a cover? Do you own any Styx albums? Is it true you have club feet?


16th July 2001 - 07:10:28 AM
2 : Dustin Diamond
HEY KIDS! SIGN MY GUESTBOOK AND STAY SAFE. DON'T DO DRGUS!


16th July 2001 - 07:05:39 AM
1 : chris
WOAAH
"

15th July 2007 - 11:56:22 PM
84340 : Kurt Steinberg
Conrad Bain, it's good to hear that you are doing well! Do you remember that episode of Diff'rent Strokes when the guy who played the Maytag Repair Man in those Maytag commercials made a guest appearance as a bicycle shop owner and tried to molest Arnold's friend, Dudley? Did you and the Maytag Repair Man ever venture over to the Saved By The Bell set and spit roast and unsuspecting Dustin Diamond in front of a masturbating Ed Alonzo on the set of The Max restaurant? Please let me know soon, buddy!

11th July 2007 - 06:41:57 PM
84274 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, is it true that when Mr. Tuttle viscously ass-rapes you, he likes to yell out "pushy, pushy, move your tushy!"?

10th July 2007 - 04:48:03 PM
84240 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, do you remember that episode where Belding broke into your Bayside locker and took a shit in one of the pockets of your Member's Only jacket at 9:30 AM and you wore the jacket home after school without noticing Belding's little "gift" until you took off the jacket at home and noticed shit stains on your shirt where Belding's watery feces had leaked through?

10th July 2007 - 11:48:08 AM
84228 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, have you ever worked with Neil Hamburger? I think it would be cool if Neil Hamburger and Gregg Turkington spit-roasted you on the stage during one of your shows! Feel free to incorproate this idea into your next show.

02nd July 2007 - 11:19:52 AM
84046 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, is it true that you have been colloborating with the muslim world to destroy western civilization and all of its progress through a series of planned terrorist attacks? What the fuck is wrong with you, shithead?

29th June 2007 - 02:29:42 PM
83959 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, did you really create this awesome website to promote homosexuality?

29th June 2007 - 12:30:15 AM
83935 : Kurt Steinberg
83928, Diamond apparently claims to have an IQ of 160 for some reason, but it is painfully obvious that he lacks basic spelling abilities. That idiot forgot how to spell his own name on the front page. This website is 6 years old and he still hasn't corrected it!

25th June 2007 - 12:36:48 PM
83769 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, why were you so insanely jealous of Zack? Remember how crazy you became when the makers of the SAT altered their 10-point-increment scoring grid to award Zack the only 1502 in the history of the test? You sure were a crappy friend to Zack - maybe that's why he locked you in the Teachers' Lounge all of those times with horny Belding and Tuttle!

25th June 2007 - 09:45:15 AM
83754 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, thank you for allowing 1000 pages of queer messages in your guestbook. I'm going to rub one out in my office at work in your honor, buddy!

22nd June 2007 - 12:46:22 AM
83513 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, is it true that when you were on Saved By The Bell: The New Class, Mr. Belding impregnanted you with a butt-baby after a nice round of sweaty unprotected buttsex? Is it further true that you stuffed yourself on Taco Bell tacos one day, thereby irritating your bowels? Is it also true that you sprayed diarrhea two hours after eating the Taco Bell tacos and you accidently crapped out your butt baby, Zoinks Diamond, I? I'll bet Belding gave you a nice beating for accidently aborting his butt baby!

21st June 2007 - 03:15:20 PM
83497 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, if you really want to salvage your career as a stand-up comedian, you really need to start making self-depricating jokes about yourself. Perhaps you could poke fun of your tiny cock, huge hooked nose, oilly jew-fro, fat ass, or chubby fake wife? You also need to joke about how Belding and Tuttle used to molest you. I'm serious, if you joke about things like this you will have a unique and funny routine. People would definitely pay to see it!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Old posts from DustinDiamond.com (part 23)

20th June 2007 - 11:38:01 AM
83328 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I know that you lost 30 pounds on Celebrity Fit Club, but you still looked fat to me even on the last day. So how exactly did you manage to lose 13 pounds over the two weeks leading up to the season finale? Is it true that you used one of those colonics that you like to write about to drain 13 pounds of Belding's semen out of your brownpipe?

19th June 2007 - 01:34:08 PM
83249 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, you need to update your resume: http://www.carrycompany.com/pdf/diamond.pdf

Your resume lists several "Special Skills," including: Chess Expert, Professional Wrestler, Drivers License, Professional Musician, and Martial Arts Expert. It's unclear to me as to why the mere possession of a Driver's License is a "special skill." You also list yourself as a co-star of the movies Dickie Roberts and Made even though you had less than one minute of screen time in both!

19th June 2007 - 12:03:14 PM
83244 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, what kind of robot to you prefer to have sex with (as the catcher, of course)? Do you like the super-masculine clunky type, like "Robot" from the 1960s TV show Lost In Space? Or do you prefer the effeminate wimpy robot type, such as C3P0 from Star Wars? I suppose that Kevin the Robot is one of the more masculine robots, although I would bet that he would be gentler on your brownpipe than the Lost In Space Robot.

18th June 2007 - 06:36:59 PM
83143 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, did Belding ever sneak into your bedroom at night for some hot and sweaty unprotected buttsex? If so, dod Kevin the Robot stand guard in your room to warn you if Mrs. Powers was within earshot? Is it true that Belding ate some Taco Bell before sneaking into your room and into your bed one night and then pulled the sheets on your bed over both your head? Did he then take off his skidmark-encrusted Fruit of the Loom underwear and Wrangler jeans with the 44-inch waist? Is it true that he told you that he had hidden a half dollar coin near the foot of the bed and you crawled down to the area near Belding's feet to look for it? Is it further true that Kevin the Robot rolled over and held the sheets down over you while Belding gave you a "dutch ove," ripping several nasty Taco Bell-fueled farts that you inhaled because the air was trapped under the sheets when Kevin held them down? I heard that you passed out from the methane smell and when you woke up Belding was nowhere to be found, but you quickly discovered that Belding had lodged your Garfield phone in your brownpipe and taken a shit in your Converse All-Stars brand hi-top sneakers. Is that true?

18th June 2007 - 04:38:24 PM
83131 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, thanks for deleting spam recently. Your guestbook kicks major ass again. It hasn't been this good since 2003 or 2004!

- Kurt Steinberg

13th June 2007 - 10:49:09 AM
82581 : Kurt steinberg
Max Wright is correct. The whole alleged domain dispute over dustindiamond.com that took place a few years ago was nothing more than a big publicity stunt. Dustin is kind of like an Internet-based "performance artist." Mainstream people might not understand, but Dustin works in mysterious ways.

Dustin Diamond and Max Goldberg are the same person! "Dustin Diamond" is merely the stage name for Max Goldberg. I read somewhere that someone in the Screen Actor's Guild had already claimed the name "Max Goldberg," and so Max chose to act under the name "Dustin Diamond." Come on, that name "Dustin Diamond" sure sounds made up when you think about it, doesn't it?

12th June 2007 - 12:21:13 AM
82531 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey chubbs, why are you such a complete dickhead? Everyone who has ever watched, acted on, or even heard of Saved By The Bell and Celebrity Fit Club hates you! Man, you are a loser. You're also a complete pussy - each other women and Ant would have trounced you in the BMX bike race.

10th June 2007 - 11:31:35 PM
82495 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, I think you would perform better on Celebrity Fit Club if you didn't walk up to the scale each time with a butt load of Belding's semen. Think about that next time.

By the way, why are you such an obnoxious shithead? Have you ever had any real friends? Man, do you suck. It's no wonder that the only women who like you are tubbos with no other options.

08th June 2007 - 09:57:17 AM
82421 : Kurt Steinberg
Peussie, why do you continue to post here? Everyone hates you and your stupid posts! Go back to listening to your queer opera CDs and jerking off and leave diamond's fans alone.

07th June 2007 - 05:07:39 PM
82409 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey chubbs, remember when you claimed that the Celebrity Fit club scale was broken and Dr. Ian Smith called you out for doing so? That was the same episode where you kept farting during the kayak race, without even caring that teh cameraman was recording the disgusting sounds eminating from your brownpipe. I think it would have been funny if you ripped another loud and nasty fart after hearing your weight. Perhaps you could have claimed that you lost weight after farting? In lieu of an actual fart, I also think it would have been funny if the producers had editted in some fart noises to make it seem as though you had some kind of intestinal issues that day!

05th June 2007 - 01:19:59 AM
82371 : Kurt Steinberg
Peussie, are you Robery McFerrin or Robert Moran? http://members.macconnect.com/users/r/rbtmoran/index.htm

05th June 2007 - 01:14:52 AM
82370 : Kurt Steinberg
Peussie, now I am really confused. Are you Robert McFerrin or are you composer Robert Moran? I'm beginning to suspect the you have a multiple personality disorder.

05th June 2007 - 12:39:57 AM
82368 : Kurt Steinberg
Princess Peussie, you really did it this time. Pissing me off was a mistake. You there's a reason why moronic dipshits like you work for people like me.

Princess Peussie's real name is "Robert McFerrin." He was born in 1950 and either currently lives or used to live at:
8520 Hagys Mill Road
Philadelphia, PA 19128

Here is a map of that address:
http://www.google.com/lochp?hl=en&tab=wl&q=8520%20HAGYS%20MILL%20RD+PHILADELPHIA+PA+19128

Man, you are one dumb piece of shit! And how pathetic is it that a 57-year-old man posts on a Dustin Diamond website?

05th June 2007 - 12:09:20 AM
82367 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey assfuck (a.k.a. Princess Peussie), quit posting under my name! What is your fucking problem? Your posts aren't even funny, FAGGOT! Is your real name really Marcus Holly? Why do you suck so much cock, dipshit? I hope you accidently stumble across a Milos-only party filled by militant Milos - those faggots will fuck you up with their sharped mop handles!

04th June 2007 - 05:54:37 PM
82361 : Kurt Steinberg
Peussie, you are a demented HIV+ LOSER! And kurtsteinberg@yahoo.com is not email address. You should leave immediately and never return. You do meet one of the prerequisites for posting here, given that you are a raging homosexual. However, your posts are not evenly remotely funny or homoerotic. Having to manually scroll down past your pointless posts while my pants are off and I am cracking one off in my office at work is quite cumbersome! You should leave Diamond's guestbook and instead post here: www.savedbythebellnow.com

04th June 2007 - 04:03:28 PM
82355 : Kurt Steinberg
Hey assfuck (Pricess Peussie), I'm amazed that you have not yet succumbed to the dealdy AIDS virus. Get out of here, shithead - NOBODY likes your dumb ass! Remember all of those "remember when..." stories where you got your ass kicked and were raped by a bunch of horny and STD-ridden dudes? I'll bet that stuff really did happen to you in real life and you liked it!

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01st June 2007 - 12:53:21 AM
82278 : Kurt Steinberg
Diamond, why won't there be a new Celebrity Fit Club episode this Sunday? I demand that you do something stupid to firther embarass yourself so that I can get in a good spanking session!

30th May 2007 - 02:13:12 PM
82246 : Kurt Steinberg
Here's a picture of Max Goldberg:
http://media.collegepublisher.com/media/paper851/stills/433cd05ebf337-92-1.jpg

Max certainly looks like a certain former child star, does he. Is this a coincidence? I think not!

30th May 2007 - 01:45:12 PM
82243 : Kurt Stienberg
D (message 82240), you are way off. Dustin Diamond is kind of like an Internet-based "performance artist" and he does some strange things here as part of a "public commentary" on celebrity status. Mainstream people might not understand, but Dustin works in mysterious ways.

Dustin Diamond and Max Goldberg are actually the same person! "Dustin Diamond" is merely the stage name for Max Goldberg. I read somewhere that someone in the Screen Actor's Guild had already claimed the name "Max Goldberg," and so Max chose to act under the name "Dustin Diamond." Come on, that name "Dustin Diamond" sure sounds made up when you think about it, doesn't it? Max probably had a good chuckle when he came up with the name "Dustin Diamond" - it almost sounds like a porn name or something!

28th May 2007 - 08:24:55 PM
82194 : Kurt Steinberg
Screech, there are only 8 episodes of Celebrity Fit Club and as far as I can tell, you only needed to meet about 16 days out of a total of about 100 days to film for the show. Why were you such a total dickhead? It's not like you were even hanging around with those people all of the time. Were you in withdrawal because Belding's semen wasn't deposited in your colon during the days you were taping?

28th May 2007 - 05:36:15 PM
82186 : Kurt Steinberg
JewveBeenFramed, I think that the rules are somewhat ambiguous on this issue. I believe that non-homosexual posts are allowed, provided they are anti-Dustin Diamond. The site admin can correct me if I am wrong about this.

28th May 2007 - 05:30:20 PM
82185 : Kurt Steinberg
The real Gwando is a raging homosexual, just like the rest of us queers! Gwando wrote:

" 19th November 2003 - 02:57:48 AM
5785 : Gwando
'Remember When' guy, nothing gets me more aroused than sweaty man on man wrestling.
I would like to have Diamond wear a tight pink leotard and smear himself in baby oil. I would chase him around for a while, but his thin greasy body would keep slipping from my grasps.
Eventually i would throw him to the floor, tear off his leotard and unsheath my rod, which i would insert into him, and rapidly lose the mother of all loads in his colon!
After a brief rest, i would take a dump on his chest and throw him out into the street!"
http://www.dustindiamond.com/guest/guest.html?displayBegin=5753

28th May 2007 - 01:12:33 PM
82179 : Kurt Steinberg
Gwando (82178), are you the same Gwando who used to post here a few years ago?

Another Post From Dustin Diamond at Dustindiamond.com?

Here is a post I found over in the guestbook at dustindiamond.com. I wonder whether this is an actual post from the real Dustin Diamond...

01st June 2007 - 10:05:34 PM
82295 : The REAL Dustin Diamond, no bullshit
Hey guys. Listen, I'm going to lay it right on the line for ya: I need my asshole filled and I need it filled NOW. No questions asked. Yeah that's right, the D-man is a straight-up cock craver.

So, if you are studly guy with 10 inches plus and you are in the Port Washington area, stop by my house any time (all the locals know which house is mine, just ask someone), knock on the door 3 TIMES and shout the magic word ZOINKS through the mail slot. Then insert your erect penis into the mail slot so that I may gauge your length and girth. If it is agreeable I shall gently lick the head, at which point you may withdraw and then wait for 5 minutes to give me a chance to change into my assless zubaz and to create the right atmos. Then I'll let you in.

I am willing to pay precisely 20 DOLLARS for this service, no more. Any takers?

Trust the dust,

~D

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Dustin's Son, Zoinks Diamond

Dustin Diamond has supposedly borne at least one son. I heard that Mr. Belding deposited his potent seed in Diamond's butthole and impregnated Diamond with a butt-baby. Diamond thought he was taking a shit a few months later, but his butt baby popped out! Diamond named his son Zoinks after his catchphrase on Saved By The Bell: The New Class.

Diamond and Belding never married, but Belding does have some visitation rights. Here is a picture of Belding and Zoinks Diamond. Notice how Zoinks has a curly Jew-fro, just like Dustin Diamond! Zoinks sometimes goes by his middle name, Brian.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Dennis Haskins' Illegitimate Child?

According to Wikipedia, the world's most trusted source of news, Dennis Haskins (Mr. Belding) has a child named Brian. This is in addition to his other son, Dustin, who was apparently named after Dustin Diamond. I guess that Belding sure got busy during the early 1990s! I wonder whether Brian was born out of wedlock...

Monday, May 19, 2008

Important Questions for Diamond - Part II

Here are more important and serious questions for Diamond that I posted over at the Dustin Diamond Love forum over the past few years. Diamond has rudely failed to respond to any of these for unexplained reasons:

Jul 7, 2006
Diamond, I really want to eat some Taco Bell and then meet up with you behind a gas station. I'd drop trow and then shart right in your face! A shart is where I fart and little chunks of shit are also expelled out of my butthole at the same time!!! Are you interested? You must be getting so turned on thinking about this!!! Let's hook up!


Jun 26, 2006
Screech, when you were a little kid, did you enjoy the feeling you experienced when taking a huge dump? Did you have an epiphany and think to yourself "hey, if large things can go out of my ass, maybe large things can also go into my ass?" Or did you learn to enjoy the rapes at the hands of Mr. Belding in the locker room at Bayside?


Jun 12, 2006
Leaky Ass Queer, maybe Diamond uses a colostomy bag because of all of the damage caused by the anal rapes by Belding, Slater, Zack, Tuttle, Milo, and Zack's dad.


Jun 8, 2006
Diamond, would you mind if I gave you a "Dizzy Gillespie"? I'm pretty sure someone posted an explanation of that sex move here once before. Anyway, it involves me sitting on your mouth and farting. Your cheeks will then fill up with my smelly ass gas, and will look puffed up like Dizzy Gillespie's when the famous musician would play his trumpet!!! Call me soon, butt-buddy!!!!!!!!


May 29, 2006
Diamond, please set up a 24-hour web cam in your bedroom so that you can broadcast your sexual exploits to the world! I want to see how many times Mr. Belding and Mr. Tuttle donkey punch you each night! Please make the appropriate arrangements soon. Thanks buddy!!!!!


May 26, 2006
Screech, which robot was gentler on your asshole when raping you? Kevin from the original series or "Robot" from the New Class? Is it true that you had your mom throw out Kevin after you discovered that he stole your "Pac Man" and "Pitfall" Atari cartridges and traded them for a huge metal penis that he used while raping you?


May 23, 2006
Diamond, when Mr. Tuttle takes a dump in your mouth, do chew on his smelly turds for several minutes in an effort to savor the taste, or do you gobble it down right away? Please get back to me soon, buddy, as this is an important and serious question.


May 16, 2006
Diamond, is it true that you like to gargle with a mouthful of semen after you wake up in the morning? Since Diamond never answers these questions, do any of the other queers who post here know if this is true? Please get back to me soon. Thanks guys!


May 15, 2006
Diamond, is it true that when you were a child Belding was having an affair with Mrs. Powers? Is it also true that Belding used to shit in your play sandbox and you would play with it and make various objects out of it as though his feces were Play-Doh or some kind of clay? When you arrived at Bayside and Belding made you roll around Tuttle's and his own poo, did that bring back any pleasant memories from your childhood? Do you still think about Belding's smelly excrement when you jerk off? Please get back to me soon, buddy!


May 2, 2006
Diamond I have an important and serious question for you and I would appreciate a prompt response. Specifically, which holds more semen - your butthole or your mouth? Please get back to me soon!


Apr 19, 2006
Screech, do you think you'd mind if Mr. Dewey were to intentionally infect you with Bubonic Plague? Is it cool with you if he lets infected rats nip at your limbs and then lodges them, one at a time, up your poop chute? This is a serious and important question. Let me know soon! Thanks.


Apr 16, 2006
Diamond, is it true that every Friday and Saturday night you head over to an outhouse at the local state park where you built your own "shit" gloryhole? Is it true that random dudes who you've never even met before form a line 30+ people deep and each take turns shitting in the outhouse? Is it also true that you lay down 15 inches below the toilet seat so that when the shit leaves their assholes it lands directly in your mouth and on your face? Is it further true that you contracted typhoid from this practice? Please get back to me soon - I'm dying to know.

Has anyone else heard rumors about this? Let me know. Thanks, fellow faggots.


Apr 13, 2006
Hey Diamond, what are you going to do when people think of you more as a queer icon than a former child star? Do you think you'll star in some gay porn with Mr. Belding? Please provide a quick answer as this is a simple but important and serious question.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Important Questions for Diamond - Part I

I have written some important and serious questions for Diamond over at the Dustin Diamond Love forum over the past few years, but Diamond has yet to respond to any of these for some unexplained reason:

Posted: Apr 10, 2006
Diamond, is it true that for your 22nd birthday, Belding and you took a tour of San Francisco? Is it also true that Belding would force you into public restroom stalls and then tore off your Zubaz and buttslammed you while making you lick the various HIV+ juices off the toilet seats which hadn't been cleaned for about 15 years?

You haven't been good at answering the questions in this message thread, so I must humbly request that you show some respect for your queer fans by getting back to me quickly.

In case Diamond doesn't get back to me, do any of the other queers who post here know if these allegations are true? I'm dying to know!


Posted: Apr 3, 2006
Diamond, my balls are full of sperm. Let's meet up at a gas station bathroom stall immediately so that you can drain my balls for me! Are you up for that? Thanks buddy!


Posted: Mar 27 2006
Screech, I have a question about the times when Rod Belding visited Bayside. Specifically, did Rod ever give you a reach-around when he pounded his schlong into your ass? Also, did you ever tell him it was ok with you if he ass-slammed you (I would bet that the answer is "no" - that would have taken the fun out of it for Rod)?


Posted: Mar 7, 2006
Diamond, is it true that Belding used to carve swastikas into your queer hairless chest while assraping you?


Posted: Mar 6, 2006
Diamond, is it true that you, Belding, and Tuttle are going to star in a made-for-adult-tv movie, "Brokeback Bayside"???


Posted: Mar 6, 2006
Diamond, is it cool with you if I pick you up after one of your shows and drive you over to a spa? Would you mind if we sat naked in the spa I tied you up with rope so you couldn't get up and leave? Is it also cool if I unleashed an enormous shit in the spa and then got out of the spa and wiped my ass clean with your jew-fro leaving you alone by yourself to sit with my watery waste? Please get back to me soon!


Posted: Feb 22 2006
Diamond, is it true that Mrs. Powers had an affair with Mr. Belding while she was pregnant with you, Screech? Is it also true that the first time you saw Belding's penis was when you were in Mrs. Powers' womb and he had rough sex with her? Is it true that his massive principal schlong almost poked out your eye when you were a tiny growing fetus? Is it true that he trusted himself so forcefully into Mrs. Powers that your fetus self was twisted completely around and Belding splattered his load all over your fetus body? Is it true that the contact between your tiny fetus head and Belding's potent jism somehow caused a mutation in your DNA that resulted in pubic hair growing on your head, eventually resulting in your trademark jew-fro? Please get back to me and let me know what happened.


Posted: Feb 21, 2006
Diamond is it cool with you if we play a queer "fireman" game together? I envision drinking a gallon of Mountain Dew and pretending that your huge gonzo nose is on fire. I will also pretend that my penis is a fire hose and put out the imaginary fire on your nose with my piss. Are you interested? I hope you're thirsty (for my piss)!!! We can also light your nose on fire with a blowtorch if you think that will make things more realistic.


Posted: Feb 13, 2006
Diamond, is it true that the Kennedy family used to pass you around as a gay sex toy? Is it true that Ted Kennedy used to get piss drunk, eat some Taco Bell, and then unleash a drunken spray of smelly diarrhea all over your face and jew-fro? Is it also true that were were under John F. Kennedy Jr.'s desk sucking him off all of those times that he failed the NY Bar exam, and that he was butt-slamming you right before his plane crashed down in 1999 and that you narrowly cheated death by jumping out at the last second with a parichute? Is it also true that you were bare-ass naked as you parachuted to the ground and suffered a painful burning on your skin due to the air resistance and that you punctured your hairless nut-sack when you landed in a tree with pointy branches?


Posted: Feb 7, 2006
Diamond, is it true that when Belding took you, Slater, Zack, and Mr. Tuttle to the L.A. Zoo you were really looking forward to seeing the giant sea turtle? Is it also true that Slater told you he had a "turtlehead" in his pants? Is it true that he then pulled down his pants and showed you the shit-turtlehead sticking out of his butthole and then made you eat it?


Posted: Jan 24, 2006
Diamond, where does Belding rest his lit doobie when he's ass-raping you? Does he stick it in your jew-fro?


Posted: Jan 6, 2006
Diamond, is it cool with you if I take a huge Taco Bell shit in a bag of little chocolate donuts and then make you eat all of the shit-covered donuts while jagging you in the ass with a baseball bat?


Posted: Jan 4, 2006
Diamond, is it cool with you if I have sweaty unprotected buttsex with some random dude at a rest stop "gloryhole" and then drive over to your place and make you lick that dude's shit off my cock? This is a very serious question and I would greatly appreciate your prompt response.


Posted: Jan 3, 2006
Screech, remember when you contracted all of those STDs from Belding, Tuttle, Dewey, James the Actor, Max, Slater, and Zack's dad from all of the times that they ass-raped you against your will? Does it bother you knowing that that none of them ever gave you a reach-around while defiling you? Does it piss you off that your mom, Mrs. Powers, never believed you when you told her that you were a victim of homosexual rape because she just assumed that you were a flaming queer? Please contact me to discuss.


Posted: Dec 19, 2005
Diamond, is it cool with you if I eat some burritoes and then take a huge Taco Bell shit in your frying pan? Also, would you mind if I heat the shit up on your stove and made you inhale the fumes of my frying shit? Would it also be ok if, after heating up the shit, I left the stove on "high," forced your face into the flame to ignite your neatly trimmed beard, and then left the flame on until your house burned down? Please contact me to discuss and let me know if you are "hip" to my plan.

P.S. Which would technically be considered to be more "flaming," your stove or you?


Posted: Dec 19, 2005
Diamond, is it cool with you if I take a huge shit on your chin and then scoop up the shit with a spoon and lodge all of it up into your nostrils? Also, would you mind if I teabag you after my shit hardens inside of your nose, making it impossible for you to breathe from your nose? Please get back to me immediately, as this is a serious and important question!


Posted: Dec 15, 2005
Diamond, is it cool with you if I heat up some hot bacon grease in a frying pan and fire it right in your face and then smack you in the face with the pan? Would you mind if I dumped a gallon of boiling hot water on your tiny cock and balls and then stuck a couple Barbie Dolls up your ass while my stereo plays the song "Barbie Girl" by Aqua?


Posted: Dec 15, 2005
Diamond, is it cool with you if I stomp on your hairless pre-pubescent nutsack while wearing golf cleats? Also, you you mind if I stick a red-hot fireplace poker up your ass? Please contact me to discuss!


Posted: Dec 12, 2005
Diamond, you can call me "Fred Flintstone," because I will make your "bed rock!!!" Call me, you gay icon!

Do you like fast food? Because I've got a nice big "whopper" in my pants for you! I'll feed it to you rectally!