Movie Theatre Evacuated Because of Smelly Farts

A patron at a movie theater in Columbia reportedly ripped farts which were so stinky that the entire theater had to be evacuated! 

Entire theater evacuated during ‘Spider-Man’ screening due to moviegoer’s uncontrollable bout of ‘rotten’ flatulence

Published Aug. 3, 2026, 10:19 a.m. ET

Not even “spidey sense” could have prevented this odiferous attack.

A “Spider-Man” screening in Cartagena, Colombia was evacuated after one of the audience members suffered from an extreme fart attack.

The gas leak occurred on August 2 on “Spider-Man: Brand New Day” at the Cine Colombia multiplex inside the Plaza Bocagrande shopping center, Jam Press reported.

Everything was going swimmingly until halfway through the film, when a flatulent film-goer decided to let er’ rip.

The theater-goer’s proverbial Pumpkin Bomb filled the darkened auditorium with a horrible odor, prompting audience members to flee their seats in disgust.

Hundreds of film fans were reportedly evacuated into the hallway. Footage shows the aghast film fans milling about in the corridor alongside someone dressed in a Spiderman suit.

While the screening was not officially canceled, droves of viewers decided to leave before the end credits on account of the stench.

As of yet, the culprit has not been identified, although reports claimed they either detonated a stink bomb as a prank or didn’t make it to the bathroom in time.

Many viewers ripped the filmgoer for cutting the cheese during a screening.

“There’s no respect anymore, but I don’t think anyone is so rotten as to evacuate an entire auditorium,” said one.

Another wrote, “To ruin a whole cinema like that, only God knows what that person ate.”

Others labeled the anonymous wind breaker the film’s real “villain.”

The movie itself, on the other hand, is fortunately not such a stinker, according to critics.

“Spider-Man: Brand New Day,” starring Tom Holland in his fourth outing as the friendly neighborhood web-slinger, was voted “certified fresh” by 90% of critics on Rotten Tomatoes and by 98% of audience members.

Post movie critic Johnny Oleksinski dubbed the movie tonally similar to the Tobey Maguire franchise of the 2000s, which he called not only the gold standard of “Spider-Man” movies, but Marvel films as well.”

“Brand New Day” also delivered at the box office, raking in $927m ⁠in worldwide ticket sales, the Guardian reported.

This haul was the second most successful opening weekend of any film domestically and globally.

Dustin Diamond Spotted at Cornell?

There was a recent news article about a Cornell professor who had a tantrum because two students were not wearing Covid masks in his Oceanography class.  The professor described one of the offending students as having a "fairly prominent hooked nose."  That description sounds a lot like Dustin Diamond!

Cornell professor’s threat to fail maskless ‘hook-nosed’ student causes backlash 

By Doree Lewak 

Published Nov. 1, 2021 Updated Nov. 1, 2021, 8:44 p.m. ET 

One climate-obsessed professor is finding himself in hot water after an email he wrote surfaced online.  

But it’s not the ocean levels that are causing him the most agita: It’s maskless students.  

Bruce Monger, a Cornell University professor in the Department of Earth and Atmospheric Sciences, apparently sent out a mass email in an attempt to ID two students in a recent Introductory Oceanography class who weren’t wearing their masks — so he can fail them. 

“I wanted to ask you for your help in identifying two ocean students who were photographed with their masks off during the ocean class last Friday,” Monger wrote in the memo that was first obtained by the Twitter handle “Libs of TikTok.” “They were sitting next to each other in the balcony’s front row of seating.”  

The professor, a 20-year veteran of Cornell and a senior lecturer in oceanography, continued with vivid physical descriptions of the students. 

“One student is a male with red hair and a fairly prominent hooked nose,” wrote Monger. “His hair was pretty long (just below the bottom of his ears) and is pretty thick and wavy. He was wearing a blue sweatshirt and was eating something at the time.” 

He then proceeded to physically size up student offender No. 2.  

“The other student is a male who was sitting to the left of the red head. He has short brown hair maybe 1 – 1/2 to 2 inches in length and small [sic] a nose. He wore a grey hoodie sweatshirt. He spent the whole lecture with his mask down around his chin.”  

Monger closed the rant hoping someone will out the students so he can punish their infractions. 

“If/when I find the identity of these two students, I will be failing them both for the semester as promised I would in class last Wednesday.”  

Cornell has a mandate for all students to be vaccinated and an indoor mask mandate for faculty, staff and students, according to a statement addressing the controversy sent to The Post. 

“Dr. Bruce Monger … regularly advised his students of the mask requirement, noting potential consequences for failing to comply,” the statement read.  

The school addressed the offensive physical descriptions in Monger’s email plea, noting that he “described the students’ physical characteristics in ways that do not reflect Cornell values. Dr. Monger has since acknowledged that his approach to dealing with unmasked students in class was not handled in an appropriate manner.”

Demented Weirdos Caught Hanging Out in Outhouse Toilets

I recently heard about a couple weirdos who were arrested after being caught hanging out in the toilet water in outhouses. Apparently they wanted to stand in the filthy water while random strangers pissed and shit on them! Both of these demented freaks make me think of Screech, as it sounds like something he would have done on Saved By The Bell: The New Class.

The first story is about Gary Moody, a man arrested in 2005 in New Hampshire:

Man Pulled From Women's Outhouse Tank
Teenager Reports Seeing Man's Face In Toilet

POSTED: 4:56 pm EDT June 28, 2005
UPDATED: 6:18 pm EDT June 28, 2005

ALBANY, N.H. -- A man is facing charges after police said they pulled him from a tank under a women's toilet that was filled with human waste.

Police said that Gary Moody, 45, was under a log cabin outhouse off the Kancamagas Highway in Albany.

"You can draw your own conclusions as to the conditions we encountered," said Capt. John Hebert, of the Carroll County Sheriff's Department.

Police said that they got a call from the parents of a teenage girl who said that when she went to use the facilities, she saw Moody's face staring back at her from the hole.

Moody was hosed off before police cuffed him.

"It's a very filthy environment, and before we put anybody in contact with him, we had to decontaminate him," Hebert said. "We treated him as if he were hazardous material."

Hikers using the outhouse on Tuesday said that the story was enough to make their stomachs turn.

"He just must be sick to put yourself in that muck. Disgusting," said Harriett Voysey, of New Jersey.

Police said they don't know how long Moody was in the tank, but they said the door to it was locked, which means he must have gone in through the toilet. They said they don't know why he was there.

"I started this business in 1980, and I have never in my career encountered anybody in this type of situation," Hebert said.

Police charged Moody with criminal trespass, and they said he could face more charges. He is out on bail and due back in court next month.

The second story is about Donald H. Baker, a man arrested in 1987 in California:

My Two Cents
by Hosey R. Horton

It takes all kinds of people, but...

It may just be my imagination, or maybe it's all due to the fact that since I'm not over the mid-century mark, I just don't remember all that well how things were when I was a youth.

Whatever the truth of the matter, it does seem as if there are far more than two but crooks around than there ever were. And it also seems as if there's more weirdos around, too; some of them just weird and some of them somewhat dangerous.  

New depths - no pun intended - were reached recently by a California man who, dressed in plastic with surgical gloves, was dragged out from beneath a woman's outhouse at Montana de Oro State Park and arrested.

Donald H. Baker, San Luis Obispo County officials said, was sitting on crates beneath a woman's outhouse up to this waist in muck, ostensibly in an effort to get his kicks by watching women go to the bathroom,

Rangers at the park, after forcibly removing Baker from the outhouse, hosed him off with a garden hose and then turned him over to deputies who arrested him.

Can you imagine how that poor deputy felt with Baker smelling up the back seat during the drive to the jail house? Gas masks will probably take on a new meaning in San Luis Obispo County.

When last heard of, Baker was whiling away his time in jail on charges of loitering.  You can almost imagine a jailhouse conversation. "What are you in for?" someone asks Baker. "Loitering,: he replies.

Topping the story of someone who's weird enough to crawl under an outhouse will be tough, maybe impossible, but there's a lot of other weirdness around, and we're not even talking about the two clowns now doing their best to make Spokane Rape City U.S.A. on the city's northside.

Consider for example the saga of singer Michael Jackson ...