It is well-established that Screech was a weird guy who was almost universally treated like a loser. Here are AI-generated videos of Screech behaving like a loser/weirdo.
In this first video, Screech is questioned during an audit by incredulous IRS agents who cannot believe how little money he made as an unpaid bathroom attendant:
In this video, Screech and Mr. Belding are in a meeting with the Dean of California University. The Dean cannot believe that Screech wants to drop out of college to become an unpaid assistant for Mr. Belding at Bayside High School:
Here is a video of Screech and Mr. Belding eating at a Burger King when a little girl suddenly walks over at tells Screech that he is "smelly," causing everyone to laugh hysterically:
Here is a video of Screech at the perfume counter at a department store asking for a cologne which smells like "pepperoni farts."
Here is a video of Screech at a grocery store when an old man on a motorized scooter runs into him and yells at him:
Here are two videos of Screech riding a roller coaster while constantly yelling "Zoinks," irritating the other riders. In the second video, a bird flies into Screech:
Here is a video of a kid dumping a large cup of soda on Screech's 'fro at a baseball game:
Here is a video of Screech at a Thanksgiving dinner being pelted with food while yelling "Zoinks," as a table full of kids laughs:
Here is a video of a whiny Screech in a "Life Alert" commercial:
Here is a video of former U.S. President Ronald Reagan asking why Screech is so annoying:
Here is a video of Screech ordering a "Fart Happy Meal" at McDonald's and behaving like a creepy weirdo:
Here are videos of Screech meeting with his agent:
13 comments:
Screech is lucky if the only thing that those IRS agents did was laugh at his pathetic unpaid bathroom attendant income. Screech probably received many fart meals and feces sandwiches from bathroom patrons - did Screech remember to declare the monetary value of these “gifts” on his IRS returns??
I’ve been researching the signing of the Declaration of Independence and have found that there are notes that mention a “weirdo” who worked as an unpaid bathroom attendant at Independence Hall in Philadelphia. His name was “Scritch Powers” and when I cross referenced this name with census reports from the time he’s listed as a “giant loser/bathroom attendant”. Benjamin Franklin’s notes mention that immediately after signing the declaration he went to the bathroom to take a massive dump. He encountered Scritch who had a massive Jewfro and was wearing multicolored pants. When Ben used the toilet Scritch stood there clapping and telling him he was taking a masterful dump. This annoyed Ben Franklin who after finishing his business was again accosted by Scritch who offered him a breath mint. Ben notes he grabbed the guy by his hair, then help his head by his ass and ripped a monster fart in his face. Ben then got out of there while this weirdo flopped around on the floor. It seems even Screech’s relatives were deranged weirdos!
Historian, thanks for reporting your bit of American history. Back in the late 1700s, in order to go to the bathroom indoors, people either used chamber pots or outhouses. Imagine how bad the stench of an outhouse back then must have been! An outhouse back then was also dirtier than the dirtiest modern day gas station men’s room you’ve ever seen. Only a mentally deranged weirdo would loiter inside one as an unpaid bathroom attendant!
SBTB: Hawaiian Style, you are correct that Ben Franklin was using a chamber pot to take a nice dump when he was accosted by Scritch Powers. Back then the chamber pots were dumped by servants who actually got paid. Not Scritch, he just showed up hoping to catch a whiff of some farts, and to try and get a few tips for offering mints. Who knows why he did with the chamber pots while emptying them!
Historian, Sritch must have been one of the first “Unpaid Chamber Pot Attendants” in the New World! He was a real pioneer (and weirdo)!
SBTB:Hawaiian Style, I’ve been researching the founding fathers for some time now and it seems Scritch was a well known deviant menace. The census shows that after his job as an unpaid bathroom attendant at Independence Hall he went into the military. However, he wasn’t a soldier. He is listed as a “human latrine” with no other description given. After the war he is found at George Washington’s home Mount Vernan, where he is listed as an “unpaid bathroom attendant/horse stall dookie guy”. I’m still investigating him from there as I’ve currently lost his trail.
Historian, I did some Internet research on this topic and discovered that before General George Washington famously crossed the Delaware River with the Continental Army on December 25, 1776, he sat on Scritch’s head and dropped ass in order to rally his troops for victory. I guess it worked!
Scritch Powers almost ruined the crossing as he kept yelling “Zoinks” over and over nearly alerting the British! That’s when George Washington showed true leadership and grabbed Scritch, sat on his head, and ripped a nasty fart. This shut Scritch up and really gave his troops a boost!
George Washington Fanatic, after more sleuthing, I was able to uncover the following letter written to President John Hancock of the Continental Congress after crossing the Delaware River in the December 25-26, 1776 Battle of Trenton. General Washington explicitly mentions farting in the face of Scritch Powers!
“To the Honorable John Hancock, Esq.
President of the Continental Congress
Headquarters, Newtown, Pennsylvania
December 27th, 1776
Sir,
I have the honour to inform you that, by the blessing of Providence, the enterprise which I hinted at in my last communication has been crowned with a success that may prove of the utmost importance to our bleeding cause.
On the evening of the twenty-fifth instant, I ordered the troops under my command to cross the icy waters of the Delaware River. The weather was severe in the extreme, a violent storm of snow and hail rendering the passage perilous and delaying our march by several hours. Yet, the fortitude of our brave men, though poorly clad and suffering from intense cold, never wavered.
By the hour of eight in the morning, we arrived before the enemy’s pickets at Trenton. We attacked them with a vigour that completely surprised the Hessian garrison under Colonel Rahl. The engagement was brief but decisive; we have taken upward of nine hundred prisoners, together with several pieces of brass artillery and a considerable quantity of small arms and ammunition.
I must, however, relate a singular incident which occurred during the darkest hours of our march, when the spirits of the men were sorely tried by the bitter frost. We were attended in our baggage train by an unpaid chamber pot attendant, a fellow known by the name of Scritch Powers. Seeing that the troops were grievously disheartened by the tempest, I deemed it necessary to employ an extraordinary measure to raise their morale and rally them to the impending conflict.
In a moment of rustic pleasantry, I did deliberately emit a loud intestinal gas—vulgarly termed a fart—directly upon the person of the aforementioned Scritch Powers. My young lieutenant, James Monroe, proceeded to butt-slam Mr. Powers for additional enjoyment. This unexpected display of camp humour did so greatly entertain the soldiers that their hardships were momentarily forgotten, and a hearty laughter rippled through the ranks. This sudden revival of cheer did marvelously steel their hearts and rally them onward to the publick victory which followed.
I have the honour to be, with the greatest respect, Sir, your most obedient and humble servant,
Go: Washington”
SBTB: Hawaiian Style, what an amazing find! We are really breaking new ground on this fine and scholarly board! I had become aware of the annoying Scritch being farted on by General Washington, but was totally unaware James Monroe gave him a nice butt-slamming to rally the troops! As only Washington’s boats made it across the Delaware it was of the utmost importance his troops morale be maintained while marching on Trenton! What a stain on the legacy of the Powers clan. We all knew about Screech. Now we find another Powers who was a disgrace in his time as well! It does make me wonder what quality the Powers men had that caused normally hetero men to butt-slam and fart on them?
I can’t believe Scritch Powers almost cost the Continental Army the battle of Trenton! Thank goodness George Washington was such an amazing General. He knew that ripping ass on Scritch would motivate the troops. It’s shocking to me that even back in 1776 Scritch Powers didn’t bother having any kind of real employment, or even joining the military. Instead he decided to be an unpaid chamber pot attendant! While other men were fighting to start a new country, Scritch was only worried about getting his rocks off by leering at people like Ben Franklin and George Washington while they were taking dumps!
George Washington Fanatic, Scritch Powers was even more deranged than you think. I have read unverified news articles in the December 31, 1776 issue of the Pennsylvania Evening Post, the most prominent American newspaper at the time. Specifically, there is a story about how Scritch told James Monroe that he should bottle up the sweat from his balls and ass and sell it as cologne. James Monroe did not take too kindly to Scritch’s creepy suggestion and threw Scritch a vicious beating before butt-slamming him! Apparently the memory of this incident supercharged James Monroe’s political career, resulting in him becoming the 5th U.S. President years later.
I watched the Screech audition videos in the new post. It looks like those AI videos accurately portray how Dustin Diamond secured his role on the show!
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