She writes:
Here’s where the story really begins: When I first moved to SLC about ten years ago, I found out that Dustin Diamond (Screech Powers himself) would be performing stand-up at a local club. How could I stay away?
I convinced my friend to go with me after work one night. Honestly, it was an innocent adventure – I thought we’d have a fun night out and that would be the end of that. I had no way of knowing that watching Dustin perform “blue” comedy would somehow make me wildly attracted to him. How could one anticipate such a thing? It’s ridiculous. So much so that I remember sitting in the audience feeling attracted to him and thinking, “I can never tell anyone about this. Am I really attracted to Screech?!? Gah!”
To illustrate how not into this night I was initially, I didn’t even bring a camera. Anyone who knows me will be shocked, but it’s true. I attended a celebrity event without a camera. As I quickly regretted that decision, after chatting with Dustin a bit after the show (where he seemed to talk right to me and ignored the rest of the line), I went to a local gas station and bought two things – a disposable camera and a cherry pie. Yes, you heard that correctly. I then proceeded (because, obviously I’m SUPER classy) to write my phone number on the cherry pie and give it to Dustin when we went back. Yikes. Ballsy. When I got back to the club, the security guy assigned to Dustin said he’d been asking about me and where I went. Good sign, right? So, we took the picture, I gave him his, er, dessert, and….well, now, see, as I mentioned before, I’m going to have to leave the rest to your imagination.
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