Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Comments from the Jason Heyward Sucks Forum (March 18, 2017 - April 19, 2017)

Here are more nice comments from the Jason Heyward Sucks forum:



Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Wed, 19 Apr 2017 02:59:35 GMT
Another single. Man, this guy is a BEAST!!! All Star and MVP bound. Will go down as the games greatest singles hitter/motivational speaker of all time and a shoe in to be a first ballot HOFer. 
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Wed, 19 Apr 2017 02:20:52 GMT
Let's see now, for Heyward that would be $131,428.57 per single. Can't ask for better value than that, right Theo? Worth every "single" penny!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Wed, 19 Apr 2017 01:59:55 GMT
Heyward slugs his 14th single, now up to 16 total bases for the year. He is now on pace to be the all time ML single season singles leader with 175 singles and a whopping 200 Total Bases. Ought to be worth another 3 years/75 mil. tacked on, with guaranteed number retirement at the end of his career. Get it done, Theo.
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Tue, 18 Apr 2017 23:45:50 GMT
Sophomore, how dare you harass Jason's queer fans! Jason is a terrible baseball player, so he needs all of the fans he can get, regardless of their sexual orientation. The head of Jason's gay fan club is an affable young man named D'Sean. I met D'Sean at a KFC in Lakeview last year while I was eating dinner. I was filling up my cup with Mountain Dew at the soda machine and D'Sean was just standing there - I asked him why and he said that the machine wasn't dispensing grape soda, but that he just complained to an employee who said the manager would come look at it. Anyway, about a minute later, I was shocked when Jason Heyward emerged from the back of the kitchen where he was apparently cooking fried chicken. He was actually wearing his Cubs uniform for some odd reason. Jason fixed some cord on the back of the machine , which seemed to fix the grape soda dispensing. He then apologized to D'Sean and belched in his face, which D'Sean loved. D'Sean then pulled down his baggy pants and boxers and Jason bent over and belched loudly in D'Sean's asshole! D'Sean climaxed immediately, jizzing across the floor. A fat black woman walking back to get a refill of grape soda slipped on the semen, which was pretty funny. Jason then asked if anyone else needed an anal belch and five random dudes raised their hands, and Jason then proceeded to belch in their assholes as well. So one thing led to another and after about 15 minutes, there was semen, shit, and urine all over the floor and it smelled like a sewer on their. I heard that they had to call in the fire deputy hose down the restaurant at the end of the night. All in all, I would say Jason is a great guy who really cares about his gay fans!!!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 18 Apr 2017 02:47:09 GMT
You Faggots have been pretty quiet lately ! Must be pretty tired from the holey weekend.
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 18 Apr 2017 02:00:38 GMT
AMEN to (Sophmore) Sat, 15 Apr 2017 01:44:09 CMT. Well said!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 18 Apr 2017 01:49:38 GMT
Woo-hooo! What a masher! 13 singles, 15 total bases! Definitely makes him worth his $23,000,000 for the year. Now staking his claim to Most Valuable Cub! As well as being their most valuable Motivational Speaker. Cubs need to extend him to 10 years, 250 million. IMMEDIATELY! C'mon Theo, gitterdone!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 17 Apr 2017 02:43:04 GMT
Gayward is slugging .333. Already has 1 xbh on the season. Unbelievable value for 184$ mill. You just cannot find fags with that combination of singles hitting and gay favors. Cubs are so lucky to have him in the clubhouse.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 17 Apr 2017 02:37:31 GMT
Jason is a raging homosexual. He had an affair with former bear kordell Stewart.
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 17 Apr 2017 01:54:35 GMT
Sophomore you sound like a deranged cannibal. Chewing on the testicles of your queer lovers. I bet you would love to chow down on a nice shit loaf, while Jason Heyward belched loudly in your face.
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sat, 15 Apr 2017 22:17:11 GMT
Jason is a mentally deranged homosexual
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 15 Apr 2017 21:13:11 GMT
Soph - 5:45:15. Sounds like a nice challenge. But your nut sack would be history. I like mountain oysters ; especially from fags like you.
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sat, 15 Apr 2017 07:34:39 GMT
Sophomore, this is a Jason Heyward Sucks Forum. It is not limited to a discussion of his awful hitting. Instead, the purpose of this forum is to discuss how Jason Heyward sucks in any way possible. This is obviously a broad category and does include discussions of his sex life and bodily functions.
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 15 Apr 2017 05:45:15 GMT
Sophmore I want to pin you down and give you a nice teabagging. This board evolved into discussing not only Jason's heinous baseball play, it delved even further into his personal life, including monster belches, farts, grape soda, and fried chicken. This is now a quality board that takes fans behind the scenes. I for one enjoy hearing about Jason creating his own super carbonated grape soda. His fart prowess being finished by legendary pepperoni fart man John Pepperoni. His motivation speech battle with Anthony Rizzo. This makes a true forum. Not your old Heyward stinks comments over and over.
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 15 Apr 2017 01:44:09 GMT
Hey brainless, 1 track mind yo-yos -- this forum originated last year to critique Heywards BASEBALL shortcomings! How all this mindless idiotic shit started about his farts, belches, grape soda, homo tendencies, bat of shit, ETC comments "evolved" is beyond me! By the way, if u are home on a Friday night making this your world then that certainly proves u are, indeed, a lonesome loser. Gotta go now : have to say Mass in a few minutes. May God have mercy on your lost souls !
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 15 Apr 2017 01:30:25 GMT
Happy Easter Sports Fans ! I predict J Hey knocks in 3 runs on Easter. Whether it's THIS Easter, we are not sure ? !
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Fri, 14 Apr 2017 21:56:22 GMT
Rook I believe that for an extra few bucks Jason was sucking dudes off along side of signing autographs. He obviously couldn't advertise this but it was well known in the gay community. I'm sure that's why his cock breath was off the charts.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Fri, 14 Apr 2017 10:23:27 GMT
I met Heyward at an autograph signing in February. He has awful cock breath! He was drinking a two liter of grape Crush when he belched and then the entire room smelled like a cock!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 13 Apr 2017 22:03:25 GMT
Rook I don't know what amazing bygone days you're dreaming of? This board was a dud until Jason's queer fans discovered it and livened it up!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Thu, 13 Apr 2017 21:22:01 GMT
Rookie, good riddance! If you don't want to discuss Jason's love of KFC and grape soda, or his belching and farting prowess, then you should probably stop posting here
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 13 Apr 2017 16:07:52 GMT
I am with you! The inmates have taken over the asylum!! How much mindless drivel can a fan stand? That's it for me. This forum has lost all its former style and humor. Not even mildly amusing anymore. All that's left is nothing!! Moving on to more cerebral sites. Adios morons....
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 13 Apr 2017 04:09:36 GMT
My case in point exactly from the previous 2 posts. You 2 sad Neanderthals are a waste of oxygen. Go sniff some bycycle seats at a grade school. That's more your speed. Maybe there will be some fresh feces for u to lick offf , Losers!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 13 Apr 2017 01:04:08 GMT
Is that true that Jason's bat is made of petrified shit? That has to be against MLB rules. Also Roik 14:01:36 get the hell out of here. This board is for queers only to discuss Jason's belches, farts, and bat made of shit.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 12 Apr 2017 18:39:13 GMT
Hey Rookie, I'm going to fire my seed down your throat, you cum guzzler
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 12 Apr 2017 14:01:36 GMT
This forum and the idiotic posts by the low brows reminds me of Jr High when the teacher wrote on blackboard then left the classroom and the class clown would write something "funny" on the board while the teacher was gone.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 12 Apr 2017 09:17:10 GMT
I ran into Jason at the KFC on Irving Park Rd in Chicago the other day. He was eating a big bucket of fried chicken and drinking a large cup of grape soda. He was kind enough to sign some autographs and belch for everyone. He's a great guy!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 11 Apr 2017 20:24:55 GMT
Isn't this just because his 'bat' is made out of solid fecal matter? He bought it to training one day and said it was a lucky bat passed down from generation to generation
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 10 Apr 2017 23:11:35 GMT
Jason is a national treasure. After farting and belching the Cubs into a World Series he is now hitting like a madman and still finding time to rip tons of ass and let loose monster belches. What a stud! I heard he is also finding time to service some of his queer fans penis and ass needs after each game!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 10 Apr 2017 15:00:01 GMT
Maybe, just maybe - J Hay wins Comeback Player of the Year Award ?? Then what will we do? So far he has been a couple light years ahead of last seasons performances, and he is actually helping the Cubs at the plate !!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 10 Apr 2017 01:43:29 GMT
Heyward is actually hitting .333 right now. Is it possible that he played so poorly last year because he was consciously holding in his farts, whereas after the World Series he just decided to rip ass and belch whenever and wherever he wants? Whatever he's doing, it's working now
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 09 Apr 2017 13:47:47 GMT
figjhpd
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sat, 08 Apr 2017 15:23:58 GMT
 
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sat, 08 Apr 2017 04:17:15 GMT
Jason is currently batting .313 while Kris Bryant and Anthony Rizzo are below .200. Jason's off season spent motivating Fortune 500 executives with his farts and belches was capped off by Jason creating an invigorating super carbonated grape soda. This soda is powering Jason's belches, and bat!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 05 Apr 2017 19:23:31 GMT
He could come good again. He has the physicality, I think it is just psychological
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 05 Apr 2017 17:47:21 GMT
Why was he starting in the opener, out of position much less? Makes zero sense.
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Wed, 05 Apr 2017 10:07:28 GMT
When will the Cubs release this bum? I couldn't believe the Cubs signed him to that 7-year, $184 million contract when I first heard it as I've never thought of him as a superstar, but he's a huge liability now. Will the Cubs release him in a couple years if he doesn't improve or even gets worse and eat $100 million left on his contract at that point?
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 04 Apr 2017 17:51:46 GMT
Maybe the sight of Anthony Rizzo's balls and ass was more motivating to the Cubs than Heyward's speech/fart/belch during Game 7?
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 04 Apr 2017 07:28:29 GMT
Jason has been called out by the nude speeches Anthony Rizzo gave. I'm certain they highly homoerotic and sparked the Cubs to victory much more the a few farts and belches from Jason Hayward!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 04 Apr 2017 06:14:58 GMT
Agreed, Maddon would have been been defended by the slobbering love affair of the media and spared most of the blame by them and thus many fans. Also remember, Hartman had absolutely nothing to do with Alex Gonzalez booting the double play ball that would have ended the 8th inning with the Cubs still up 3-1. But no, all the drunks in the stands reserved their hate for Hartman, mainly I think , because of Alou's angry reaction. And then the media building up the false story of THAT being the main cause of the collapse.
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 04 Apr 2017 05:00:15 GMT
I doubt that Cubs fans would have given Maddon the scorn they gave Bartman. Of course, Bartman was just some random goofy guy in the stands who reached for a foul ball just like everyone sitting around him. Yet Bartman received so much hate and blame even though he wasn't the one who kept a rattled Prior in the game pitching for too long and didn't influence the next game where the Cubs lost. I bet Cubs fans would have given Maddon a pass for managing the team into to World Series even though he almost single-handily lost it for the Cubs. I talked to a friend who is a big Cubs fan after the World Series and he actually thinks Heyward is a good player and Maddon used the pitchers properly in the World Series!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 04 Apr 2017 01:17:44 GMT
Yeah Soph, you're right. Maddon would have been a bigger goat than Heyward. God really should have been the WS MVP. Without the rain delay, Cleveland had all the momentum and I believe would have won and made Maddon the new Steve Bartman.
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 03 Apr 2017 23:23:28 GMT
Hey Soph, who was less valuable during the 2016 World Series? Heyward or Joe Maddon, the manager? Heyward seemed to do everything to help the Indians with his awful play on the field. But Maddon made some of the worst managerial decisions I've ever seen and almost single-handed my lost the World Series for the Cubs. Maddon's misuse of the closer, Chapman, was mind-boggling!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 03 Apr 2017 22:51:16 GMT
Tribune article almost made me vomit. Not one word about how he contributed ABSOLUTELY NOTHING (except an out} when he batted during the winning rally, much less during the entire WS. What nerve to speak up in the clubhouse, like a leader, after such a worthless, miserable, pathetic season and WS! And then to go on national TV when asked to, to take credit for it? LOL. He should have been slinking off to the showers, hoping nobody would notice and remind him how worthless he had been and that the Cubs had won DESPITE of him, NOT because of him!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 03 Apr 2017 09:55:25 GMT
The Chicago Tribune had yet another tribute to this clown's "motivational speech" in Saturday's edition of the paper! This is so ridiculous as he was all but worthless during the World Series except for the alleged motivational speech/fart/belch! http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/columnists/ct-jason-heyward-speech-cubs-sullivan-spt-0402-20170401-column.html
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 03 Apr 2017 03:57:52 GMT
Ripped a single to tie the game. They gave him a hit on a routine ground ball. What a turd
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 03 Apr 2017 03:53:35 GMT
JHey roaring out of the gate with his "new" swing. Starts with a sizzling 0 fer 3 plus an error called a hit. WooooHoooo!!! MVP season coming up!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 02 Apr 2017 21:37:13 GMT
Right on! Let's keep this up and drain this swamp of all the stinking sewage and take this forum back to higher ground again where it was at the end of the 2016 WS. What say ye?
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 02 Apr 2017 21:28:32 GMT
JHey starting in CF over Almora. Maddon told not to set a $184 mil. mistake on opening night despite a pathetic, losing attempt to correct his swing. Don't think he or the coaches have a clue how to correct such a mess! Welcome to another year of futility from him, Cub fans!!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 02 Apr 2017 20:02:34 GMT
here here! well said Rookie. This place has really turned into a swamp. Sophomore, stop with your fecal jokes!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 02 Apr 2017 19:56:40 GMT
Have I said one derogatory or hateful word about your sexual orientation? NO and you KNOW it. You could be as heterosexual as Bill Clinton and I would have used the EXACT same words. I could care less about your sexual orientation. Go ahead and hide behind the "hate crime" wall that protects you and many others in our PC culture. You may have pulled the wool over the eyes of the media and guilty liberals in this world, but there are still at least half of us out here who have not fallen for your tripe. We are far more tolerant of other "viewpoints" than the "intolerant liberal left" has ever been. This forum has not been filled with "viewpoints" for the last 5 or 6 months. It has been filled with nothing but pure, HATE FILLED garbage directed at a very decent and likeable human being. He just HAPPENS to be the most worthless, pathetic hitter/motivational speaker in all of baseball who makes superstar millions. Now tell me who are the REAL HATE MONGERS on this forum???? Hmmmmmm?? ......................crickets.
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 02 Apr 2017 16:05:11 GMT
Well said Sophmore. I don't come in here to read and post hot eroticism in order to be judged by some hate monger!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 02 Apr 2017 07:02:37 GMT
Hey Rook, it is illegal to harass people based on their sexual orientation and may be constitute a hate crime. If I want to post here that I want to fart in Jason's face or want him to belch into my ass crack while giving me a vigorous reach-around, then I have every right to do so even if you are so closed-minded as to consider such actions as "disgusting," "filthy," "rotten," or "sickening." Please be tolerant of opposing viewpoints
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 02 Apr 2017 05:47:46 GMT
No joke. I'll keep posting this over and over until you creeps get off of this forum and give it back to the true Braves, Cardinal, and Cub fans who use to post here. Give up your sick posts, they aren't funny any more. We are all SICK OF THEM!!!!!!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 02 Apr 2017 05:34:48 GMT
Rookie, is this some kind of weird April Fool's joke?
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 02 Apr 2017 05:05:51 GMT
THIS IS THE MOST DISGUSTING, FILTHY, ROTTEN, SICKENING, NOT FUNNY FORUM SINCE IT WAS TAKEN OVER BY THE MOST MENTALLY DERANGED PEOPLE ON THIS EARTH!!!!!!!!!! THIS ROTTEN FILTH HAS WENT ON SINCE A WEEK OR TWO AFTER THE WORLD SERIES!!! WE USE TO BE ABLE TO MAKE FUN OF THIS $23,000,000 A YEAR, GROSSLY OVERPAID, MISERABLE, PATHETIC JOKE OF A HITTER/MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER WITH MOSTLY CLEAN, TRULY FUNNY, & ORIGINAL HUMOR!!! AND WE ALL LAUGHED OUR HEADS OFF SEEING WHO COULD TOP THE LAST POST. BUT THE HIJACKING OF THIS FORUM BY YOU DISGUSTING PERVERTS FOR THE LAST 5 MONTHS OR SO HAS RUINED THIS FORUM FOR THE REST OF US WHO VERY SELDOM EVEN BOTHER TO GLANCE AT IT ANYMORE. HOW ANYONE CAN THINK THAT ALMOST 6 MONTHS OF FARTING AND BELCHING JOKES IS STILL FUNNY IS BEYOND ALL OF OUR COMPEHENSIONS. YOU HANDFULL (OR LESS) OF PATHETIC, CHILDISH PERVERTED HIJACKERS SHOULD ALL GO BACK TO SLITHERING INTO YOUR SNAKE HOLES WHERE YOU BELONG, LIKE THE LOWEST SCUM OF THE EARTH THAT YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Sun, 02 Apr 2017 04:50:07 GMT
Rook 01:46:07 thanks for the laugh. Your all caps rant about how awesome your "clean" jokes were compared to the erotic tales now on this board gave be a nice laugh. I wish Jason was belching into my anus after drinking a 3 liter of his delicious grape soda!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 02 Apr 2017 03:38:17 GMT
Stop attacking the people who post here! There do seem to be quite a few homosexual fans of Jason Heyward, but why is this so troubling to you? Jason Heyward is a horrible baseball player, and is probably more valuable to the Cubs when he's sitting on the bench ripping ass and belching in the faces of his teammates, as a form of motivational therapy
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sun, 02 Apr 2017 01:46:07 GMT
THIS IS THE MOST DISGUSTING, FILTHY, ROTTEN, SICKENING, NOT FUNNY FORUM SINCE IT WAS TAKEN OVER BY THE MOST MENTALLY DERANGED PEOPLE ON THIS EARTH!!!!!!!!!! THIS ROTTEN FILTH HAS WENT ON SINCE A WEEK OR TWO AFTER THE WORLD SERIES!!! WE USE TO BE ABLE TO MAKE FUN OF THIS $23,000,000 A YEAR, GROSSLY OVERPAID, MISERABLE, PATHETIC JOKE OF A HITTER/MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER WITH MOSTLY CLEAN, TRULY FUNNY, & ORIGINAL HUMOR!!! AND WE ALL LAUGHED OUR HEADS OFF SEEING WHO COULD TOP THE LAST POST. BUT THE HIJACKING OF THIS FORUM BY YOU DISGUSTING PERVERTS FOR THE LAST 5 MONTHS OR SO HAS RUINED THIS FORUM FOR THE REST OF US WHO VERY SELDOM EVEN BOTHER TO GLANCE AT IT ANYMORE. HOW ANYONE CAN THINK THAT ALMOST 6 MONTHS OF FARTING AND BELCHING JOKES IS STILL FUNNY IS BEYOND ALL OF OUR COMPEHENSIONS. YOU HANDFULL (OR LESS) OF PATHETIC, CHILDISH PERVERTED HIJACKERS SHOULD ALL GO BACK TO SLITHERING INTO YOUR SNAKE HOLES WHERE YOU BELONG, LIKE THE LOWEST SCUM OF THE EARTH THAT YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Thu, 30 Mar 2017 00:53:32 GMT
I hope Jason makes a recovery and really takes care of his ability to belch. Although he will never compete professionally as a fart master he can still belch with the best of them. Unfortunately for him he was mad he was seen correctly as a one note pony and really wanted to have his ass respected as well. His punishment came when he blew out his ass.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Wed, 29 Mar 2017 10:03:35 GMT
Jason blew out his O-ring trying to force out some farts during the offseason. Unless his butthole makes a full recovery, his career as a motivational farter may be over! He was never a match for John Pepperoni or Anthony Rizzo in the farting department anyway. He needs to improve his motivational belching technique- if he damages his throat, he'll be completely done as a motivational speaker!!
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Tue, 28 Mar 2017 22:32:52 GMT
I have seen the video. Jason was trying to blast some pre Rizzo speech blasts to warm up the crowd and failed miserably. His Cred as a realiable fart man is shot.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Tue, 28 Mar 2017 06:48:55 GMT
To vet below. You know nothing about what went one in the changing room. I was told on good authority that JH usually works as the hype man, churning out deep farts like pipesmoke rings
This gets the crowd in a frenzy for the hot speeches
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 27 Mar 2017 22:51:22 GMT
Jason is all boast and little fart. Even his title as motivational speech giver was blown out of the water when it was released that Anthony Rizzo was giving nude speeches!
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Mon, 27 Mar 2017 22:47:22 GMT
He is notoriously boastful about his farting technique!
'Seafood' Sammy Colon ( a 1993 MVF (most valuable fart) recipient once told an anecdote about how he cooked up a fart that emitted green gas. He then threw down to JH who could barely even muster a brown tinge
Yet years later, JH was overheard boasting about how he 'showed up' Seafood on his own patch with a multicoloured ass blast!
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 27 Mar 2017 22:22:32 GMT
I posted one week ago how Heyward was only hitting .143 in Spring Training. However, he went on a hot streak (for him), hitting a torrid .182 last week! His batting average is now up to .152. He's nowhere near the Mendonza Line, but he's hitting better than he did during the 2016 playoffs.
He'd better perfect his inspirational farting and belching technique if he wants a roster spot!!
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sat, 25 Mar 2017 02:29:20 GMT
Nice analysis Vet. I'm certainly glad John Pepperoni was there to call his lying ass out and teach him a lesson!
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 24 Mar 2017 20:27:51 GMT
Fellow Vet, I am pretty sure that story is true. Like many people of Jason Heyward's "persuasion," he has a tendency to constantly boast and exaggerate his skills. The interview after World Series Game 7 is a prime example, where he took complete credit for the victory despite hitting barely over .100. I have no doubt that he would brag about his farts even though he's really no match for John Pepperoni or even teammate Anthony Rizzo!
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 24 Mar 2017 03:29:30 GMT
Eat shit Sophmore. Either post a hot queer story about Jason or post nothing.
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 24 Mar 2017 00:10:30 GMT
Can anyone confirm that Jason recently got cocky saying he could rip a fart louder then anyone else? Is it true after he left a really loud fart as "proof" John Pepperoni appeared from behind a few lockers where he had been jerking off and said " You call that a fart" then dropped his pants, aimed his asshole at Heyward and ripped a fart that blew out the eardrums of those around him and threw Jason nearly 10 yards into some lockers? Jason sure learned not to exaggerate that time!
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Fri, 24 Mar 2017 00:08:01 GMT
I want to puke on Jason's butthole.
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Thu, 23 Mar 2017 05:46:21 GMT
If Jason grew a giant poofy Afro that would be so hot! I could see him at the plate with a batting helmet perched on top of his massive Afro!
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 22 Mar 2017 20:33:13 GMT
Heyward and David Ross were two of the worst and least valuable players on the Cubs last season, yet they seem to receive quite a bit of love for some reason. Were Heyward and Ross gay lovers last season?
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Wed, 22 Mar 2017 12:21:33 GMT
Hello. And Bye.
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 22 Mar 2017 02:52:44 GMT
I think it would be so hot if Jason grew a poofy Afro and I took a shit in it. Then I would piss in his mouth and we could rub cocks.
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Wed, 22 Mar 2017 00:43:46 GMT
I truly love when the players do something so erotic it whips all the male fans into a homo frenzy!
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Tue, 21 Mar 2017 18:36:08 GMT
Exactly, I saw one game where BJ Upton put two fingers over his bell end so two stream of piss came out of his japs eye, allowing him to work within a 'concentration zone' between the two spurts. It goes without saying that it was also highly erotic and got the grown on the top tier of the stadium going wild in a men on men frenzy
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Tue, 21 Mar 2017 04:17:56 GMT
Nice call Soph. It would be nice if Jason could piss on the catcher or umpire from the dugout. He really needs to get to work on that.
Anonymous (Sophomore) wrote on Mon, 20 Mar 2017 15:16:57 GMT
Its a shame. What I would really like to see, is JH improving his pissing game.
Sure, he can spray bums from 2 metres away on a wall, but where is his in play dong spray management?
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 20 Mar 2017 02:25:31 GMT
Not a surprise as he spent the off season earning money belching and farting his way through a motivational tour as well as creating a grape soda. He did nothing to improve his baseball game. I'm guessing by mid season he will no longer play in the field at all and will be relegated to belching and farting in the dugout.
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Mon, 20 Mar 2017 01:54:00 GMT
Heyward is hitting a pathetic .143 so far during the 2017 spring training! He's really lost it - he never deserved that absurd $184 million contract, but his level of play since signing is historically awful. He had better produce some potent motivational farts and belches this season since he produces nothing of value at the plate!
Anonymous (Veteran) wrote on Sun, 19 Mar 2017 02:46:52 GMT
I have heard of that pitching technique and feel that's the way of the future. If pitchers could learn to fire the ball from their asshole it would be like a cannon.
Anonymous (Rookie) wrote on Sat, 18 Mar 2017 17:40:47 GMT
To the poster below, I never knew that, but surely it could be a devastating weapon if utilized correctly?
I also heard that someone saw Brett Anderson perform a new pitch technique behind closed doors.
He rammed a few balls up his ass then farted them out with such force that he was getting strike after strike!


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