Dustin Diamond Queer Fantasies Blog!!!

New Forum for Dustin Diamond's Queer Fans

2012-01-03T21:27:00.000-08:00

Dustin Diamond's rabid homosexual fanbase has a new home at Dustindiamond.net!

Hot photo of Diamond after a rowdy night at a truck stop?

2012-01-01T21:50:00.000-08:00

I found this homo-erotic picture of Dustin Diamond the other day. Although I cannot be certain, it appears as though Diamond was sucking off random truck drivers in a men's room when someone sprayed diarrhea or ripped a wet fart into Diamond's face with enough force to rip the toilet seat from its hinges! As one can clearly see, the toilet seat ended around Diamond's neck and he appears to have a fresh coat of fecal matter all over his his Jew-fro, face, and clothes!

Comments from the New Dustindiamondisadick.com Guestbook

2011-11-29T17:37:00.000-08:00

Here are some of the hot comments posted in the newer guestbook for Dustindiamondisadick.com:

Name:	Fetishboy64
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	Does ANYONE else do this? I'll wait for a guy to go into a stall in a public toilet and when's he's done I'll go into that stall get on my hands and knees a lick the toilet all over then drink the water in the bottom like a dog. That's one of my newly developed fetishes. Any other weirdos?
	November 29, 2011 21:26:53 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:	DUSTIN DIAMOND IS A DICK
Where are you from:
Comments:	SUCH A DICK SUCH A CUNT SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE SUCH A QUEER SUCH A DOUCHE SUCH A SHOWPONY MUN
	November 26, 2011 16:46:27 (GMT Time)

Name:	Billy
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	Is it true that Dustin Diamond's breath smells like Principal Belding's cock? Does he have cum stains in his beard?
	November 19, 2011 09:56:29 (GMT Time)

Name:	McKayla
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	Are you a dickhead?
	November 19, 2011 01:16:35 (GMT Time)

Name:	Meredith
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	My roommate's ex-girlfriend met Screech when he came to town for a phone interview. He had sex with her. Now my roommate's heart is broken and his ex's claim to fame is she had a one night stand with a has-been loser douchebag. Fuck Dustin Diamond.
	November 17, 2011 04:58:32 (GMT Time)

Name:	jack
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	dustin, it's me - Jack, the homeless man who made love to you last week in the alley behind the Burger King. Remember when I inserted my dirty cock up your ass and blew my seed into your mouth and then shit on your 'fro? good times...
	November 14, 2011 09:40:45 (GMT Time)

Name:	Steven
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	Does Diamond enjoy sucking off his biological father, singer Neil Diamond?
	November 12, 2011 09:47:22 (GMT Time)

Name:	Larry
Email:
Where are you from:	none
Comments:	dustin
	November 11, 2011 01:28:01 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:
	October 27, 2011 20:56:48 (GMT Time)

Name:	john johnson
Email:	john_john_3{at}yahoo.com
Where are you from:	atlanta
Comments:
	October 27, 2011 13:12:11 (GMT Time)

Name:	Peter
Email:	peterwieman13{at}hotmail.com
Where are you from:	Saukville, WI
Comments:	"screech" lives in port washington, wi (4miles from me) and my ex gf actually was paid for helping in the making of these t-shirts you speak of...if thats any help to you believing...
	October 19, 2011 05:49:10 (GMT Time)

Name:	pedro
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	me want suck dustins dick rite now mang
	September 30, 2011 19:42:01 (GMT Time)

Name:	Mitch Cumstein
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	Hey Diamond, remember when Mr. Belding got so fat that he started wearing a bra? Remember when you told him that his breasts turned you on and asked him to "put 'em on the glass" while he was sitting in his rusty 1978 Dodge? Remember when he ass-raped you to teach you a lesson about showing him respect? That was a great episode!
	September 25, 2011 02:02:38 (GMT Time)

Name:	hhjjk
Email:	nbbnnm
Where are you from:
Comments:	kelly, you are a real sad act, all this over 50 bucks. your the dick now.
	September 24, 2011 20:51:57 (GMT Time)

Name:	Bill
Email:	wbordenjr{at}excite.com
Where are you from:	Cary, NC
Comments:	He's a tool.
	September 19, 2011 20:09:09 (GMT Time)

Name:	Kurt
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	Diamond, why did you father, singer Neil Diamond, disown you? Is it because you are a disgrace to the "Diamond" fan? I bet he is upset with you for queering up his last name!
	August 29, 2011 10:36:20 (GMT Time)

Name:	Principal Dick Belding
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	I am going to blow my load in your mouth like I used to do when you were my assistant at Bayside after you dropped out of California University after his freshman year.
	August 27, 2011 07:47:44 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:	Gayside, CA
Comments:	That net worth website is extremely inaccurate. Diamond is losing or already lost his house to foreclosure because he couldn't pay the mortgage, his car was repossessed, and utility companies are suing for non-payment. He is not worth $500k!
	August 27, 2011 07:45:33 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	Just bored, I know nothing about him cept this, http://www.celebritynetworth.com/richest-celebrities/actors/dustin-diamond-net-worth/. PS, your contact page link to your tattoo site is mislinked to your email.
	August 25, 2011 23:21:03 (GMT Time)

Name:	nicky hawkins
Email:	nickyjames82{at}live.co.uk
Where are you from:	London ,England
Comments:	he sounds like a right cunt............
	August 17, 2011 15:44:18 (GMT Time)

Name:	pledo
Email:
Where are you from:	hell
Comments:	fuckshitpissasscuntfuckin'shitlick
	August 17, 2011 05:31:34 (GMT Time)

Name:	Matt
Email:	mla196{at}yahoo.com
Where are you from:	NH
Comments:
	August 16, 2011 08:03:58 (GMT Time)

Name:	Mr. Belding
Email:
Where are you from:	Bayside
Comments:	Screech, report to my office immediately! I am going to dunk my wrinkled nuts in your mouth and then shit in your afro!
	August 15, 2011 18:18:51 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:
	August 15, 2011 05:56:10 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:
	August 11, 2011 12:22:27 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:
	August 10, 2011 05:41:11 (GMT Time)

Name:	Bob
Email:	bigbootsinc{at}yahoo.com
Where are you from:	New Orleans
Comments:	Hahahahahahaha!!!! you dumb fuck!!!! how the fuck you gonna give screech money and expect a shirt?? thats your fault you dumb bitch! schreech is the fuckin shit, best recognize!
	August 8, 2011 19:22:33 (GMT Time)

Name:	Man
Email:
Where are you from:	USA
Comments:	Isn't it costing you more than $50 to keep this website going?
	August 3, 2011 22:45:39 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:
	July 24, 2011 01:16:01 (GMT Time)

Name:	Kurt Steinberg
Email:
Where are you from:	Key West
Comments:	Did anyone read the book review of Diamond's "Behind the Bell" in the Onion AV Club in June 2011? They tore him a new one! Apparently Diamond actually claimed in his book that the SBTB writers made the relationship between he and Belding homosexual. I knew it!!!
	July 7, 2011 09:51:52 (GMT Time)

Name:	Venom Froggy
Email:	venomfroggy{at}hotmail.com
Where are you from:
Comments:	How sickening. No, he didn't rip me off, but I've read his sordid post-SBTB story and. .. well, I dunno. I pity him but I also harbor contempt for him. What a sad, pathetic, and angry little man he has become.
	June 27, 2011 17:54:58 (GMT Time)

Name:	Bill Stevenson
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	Is Dustin going to release another chess video sometime soon?
	June 22, 2011 07:27:54 (GMT Time)

Name:	Richard Smalls
Email:	None
Where are you from:	none
Comments:	ondkjfhjkadf
	June 15, 2011 02:09:03 (GMT Time)

Name:	TIM WALKER
Email:	tjhome123{at}live.co.uk
Where are you from:	Stafford, England
Comments:	He's a complete bell end. couldn't agree more.
	May 31, 2011 12:06:34 (GMT Time)

Name:	Jonathan Manson
Email:	jdmanson2003{at}yahoo.com
Where are you from:	Arizona
Comments:	DD made a complete fool of himself and managed to make 7 enemies on celebrity fit club at the same time...a worthy accomplishment
	May 22, 2011 03:57:25 (GMT Time)

Name:	Neil
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	Check out this archive of old posts from dustindiamond.com: http://dustindiamondguestbook.blogspot.com I bet Diamond loved reading those gay fantasies and hate-filled comments!
	May 14, 2011 00:30:29 (GMT Time)

Name:	Mona
Email:	Pyriah{at}hotmail.com
Where are you from:	Pennsylvania
Comments:	I love this site! Kudos to you for starting it. I have no stories of my own, but I can't stand that jerk! Amen for vigilante justice! Maybe you should invest in a T-shirt press and make your money back by profiting on how much of a douche bag/ scam artist he is.
	May 12, 2011 23:42:12 (GMT Time)

Name:	Melanie
Email:	prncslulu{at}yahoo.com
Where are you from:	Oregon
Comments:	He is a DICK!! I hate nothing more than to hear shit like this, the theiving little prick, played a fucking nerd all his life and grew up to be a DICK!!!!
	May 11, 2011 15:38:29 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	This is a marvelous site!
	April 29, 2011 19:20:47 (GMT Time)

Old Archived Comments from the Dustindiamondisadick.com Guestbook

2011-11-29T13:38:00.000-08:00

In 2006 Dustin Diamond sold t-shirts to raise money to pay his mortgage. Apparently he ripped off a bunch of people by taking their money but failing to send out t-shirts that had been purchased. Someone named "Kelly" was so upset that she set up the website Dustindiamondisadick.com to tell her story. She even included a nice unmoderated guestbook which soon included numerous gay fantasies. Unfortunately Kelly's guestbook was deleted in in 2011 for unknown reasons. Here are some archived guestbook comments I was able to locate:

Name:	l
Email:	l
Where are you from:	l
Comments:	I get it he's changed a lot. But if you hate him because two shirts. Maan you must be a real pshyco ( no offense i'm just saying )
	December 24, 2008 16:34:32 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:
	December 21, 2008 11:03:49 (GMT Time)

Name:	hidden in shadow
Email:	de nada
Where are you from:	hell
Comments:	i heard from a reliable source that dustin is a raging closet homo
	December 21, 2008 10:22:26 (GMT Time)

Name:	mr k man
Email:	mr_coolz_{at}hotmail.com
Where are you from:	p ville US mutha fuxxerzzzzzz
Comments:	id totally turn gay fro that god Diamond... if u feel the same, email me at mr_coolz_@hotmail.com we can make a fanclub (:
	December 21, 2008 10:19:11 (GMT Time)

Name:	X
Email:	fakeemail{at}fucku.com
Where are you from:	your mind
Comments:	i agree. dustin diamond is a total dick. someone should really kill that guy ^-^
	December 21, 2008 10:11:27 (GMT Time)

Name:	J
Email:	analassault{at}gmail.com
Where are you from:	GBR
Comments:	Dustin Diamond is the ugliest example of human refuse ever to surface in popular culture. I don't simply mean ugly in the superficial sense of the word, either (though he's got a face that flat out needs surgery... not least to change his entire identity)- I mean ugly right through to his withered, black heart and broken soul. Little does the world know that the holocaust was a pre-emptive strike to avoid his pollution of our gene pool. Mr Diamond, never has the world screamed more unanimously and passionately for a shotgun suicide. You are hated in places where people still have to walk miles for clean water- and there's is a fate I would gladly take upon myself just to know this planet had been rid of your slimy, abhorrent presence. I hope you are fucking sterile. Please, for the sake of the last refuge of anything remotely pure in this world, kill yourself.
	December 16, 2008 09:17:53 (GMT Time)

Name:	Rob
Email:	kingkingpin{at}yahoo.com
Where are you from:	Ohio
Comments:	Hi there. I never watched Saved By the Bell because I think it has some of the worst acting in history (much of it Dustin's). But I just watched the episodes of Fit Club with him and never have I hated an actor more than him after watching this show.
	December 8, 2008 22:56:14 (GMT Time)

Name:	star of the show
Email:	fu
Where are you from:	yo momma
Comments:	i heard you scraped his cock with your teeth while giving him a hummer.thats why no shirt for you
	December 8, 2008 20:19:46 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:
	December 5, 2008 05:28:18 (GMT Time)

Name:	1234
Email:	1234
Where are you from:	1234
Comments:	Dustin Diamond is awesome
	December 1, 2008 03:36:43 (GMT Time)

Name:	Dustin Diamond
Email:	ddog{at}dustindiamondfoundation.com
Where are you from:	California
Comments:	Hey, Go fuck yourself.
	November 30, 2008 06:13:35 (GMT Time)

Name:	Jeff Gallandt
Email:	bigdaddyjeff56{at}gmail.com
Where are you from:	Kentucky
Comments:	I totally agree with you, he is such an a$$!
	November 28, 2008 16:29:08 (GMT Time)

Name:	Karrie
Email:	ivy2855{at}gmail.com
Where are you from:	Florida
Comments:	Hi! Just wanted to let you know that I also ordered a t-shirt, but I did receive it. If I had known what a complete douchebag Dustin Diamond was, I would not have ordered it. I don't think anyone would have. What an asshole! Great site!!!
	November 28, 2008 14:14:31 (GMT Time)

Name:	G
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	Agreed, Dustin Diamond is a prick.
	November 25, 2008 16:36:44 (GMT Time)

Name:	n/a
Email:	n/a
Where are you from:	n/a
Comments:	Wow Dustin, hope you read this. I feel sorry for you. You seem to be a heartless self centered ignorant bitch. Your girlfriend must be blind to stick with you or she may just feel sorry for you. I hope you opens her eyes and decides to ditch you. To think I thought you were the coolest guy on TV with being on Saved by the Bell. You're pathetic. All this bitterness you have must be from the roll you played as a kid on a hit show. Everyone else did great and your stuck in the slums. I feel bad for you guy. I'll pray for you though that you change your ways. Peace.
	November 25, 2008 05:56:15 (GMT Time)

Name:	Lisa
Email:
Where are you from:	Toronto, Canada
Comments:	I'm watching celebrity fit club and I cannot believe how much of an asshole "Screech" has become. I too wanted to order one of those shirts and I'm glad that I didn't (they wouldnt ship to canada). I feel so bad for you but this t show is showing everyone dustin diamonds true colours.
	November 25, 2008 02:57:19 (GMT Time)

Name:	Aimee
Email:	the.doans{at}yahoo.ca
Where are you from:	canada
Comments:	I agree his is a cold hearted self absorbed idiot....one who is likely bitter because he was cast as a geek and is bitter because he could never get aa real role in anything worth watching.... very sad to see his self loathing has been twisted into a hate for all genuine people.... may fate have mercey on your destiny.
	November 25, 2008 02:51:04 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:
	November 20, 2008 16:39:02 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:
	November 20, 2008 00:08:25 (GMT Time)

Name:	dustin diamond
Email:	dustin{at}dustindiamondfoundation.com
Where are you from:	wisconsin
Comments:	i am sorry. email me and i will give you your money back. dustin
	November 13, 2008 03:51:55 (GMT Time)

Name:	Tally
Email:	vettebaby76{at}hotmail.com
Where are you from:	canada
Comments:	I remember a girl at my old work saying she ordered a shirt and never got it.
	November 11, 2008 03:28:56 (GMT Time)

Name:	Lisa Kay
Email:	preludetoakis10{at}hotmail.com
Where are you from:	Victoria, BC
Comments:	Yup he's a loser alright. The only reason he is on CFC is because he's a troublemaker, and troublemakers get ratings. It's a sad world we live in. Go Obama!!
	November 4, 2008 05:58:20 (GMT Time)

Name:	Wes Wright
Email:	wjwwright{at}gmail.com
Where are you from:	Ontario
Comments:	Send Dustin to me I would kick his ass after what I saw on Celebrity Fit Club. What a big baby. Just leave already
	November 4, 2008 03:45:10 (GMT Time)

Name:	Alex
Email:
Where are you from:	England
Comments:	Got ripped off by Screech exactly the same as you with the t-shirts, waited to long to file a complaint, thought he was just being crap with sending. Turns out he's just a loser. Also sent emails, nothing back at all. What a cock.
	November 3, 2008 15:41:32 (GMT Time)

Name:	Arthur B
Email:	scsisko1975{at}comcast.net
Where are you from:	Denver, CO
Comments:	Me too. No response & Paypal was no help either.
	November 1, 2008 05:44:11 (GMT Time)

Name:	jewvebeenframed
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	Screech is a total dick. He also tried to sue his loyal gay fans because he didn't like their fantasies about him and Belding swapping body fluids and spraying shit in each others faces.
	October 31, 2008 20:54:31 (GMT Time)

Name:	ho ho
Email:	ha ha
Where are you from:	he he
Comments:	WHY SO SERIOUS?
	October 11, 2008 06:33:49 (GMT Time)

Name:	Zack Morris
Email:	Screechisadouche{at}savedbythebell.com
Where are you from:	Bayside High
Comments:	Nobody likes Dustin Diamond.
	October 10, 2008 01:34:44 (GMT Time)

Name:	mighty1318
Email:
Where are you from:	newcastle, england
Comments:	i've gladly never saw the u.s version of celebrity fit club but what i have read about this little prick makes me hate him and having seen his homemade sex tape i am wanting to smash his smug face into the ground. i am sorry people have been ripped off by this little shit and i hope he gets his comeuppance very soon
	September 29, 2008 18:35:44 (GMT Time)

Name:	bethany
Email:	sweet-revenge824{at}hotmail.com
Where are you from:	Canada
Comments:	i fucking hate this asshole. everytime i saw him on celebrity fit club i wanted him to drop dead.
	September 26, 2008 17:20:55 (GMT Time)

Name:	DustinDiamondisTheBiggestDouche
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	His picture should be under the definition of the word douche...
	September 22, 2008 05:48:38 (GMT Time)

Name:	mikL
Email:	wavyone11{at}hotmail.com
Where are you from:	c.v
Comments:	HES a fucking douche, but cut him some slack guys, its not easy being a gaping asshole
	September 14, 2008 06:31:31 (GMT Time)

Name:	april
Email:	R0sielars67{at}aol.com
Where are you from:	texas
Comments:	I agree, I didnt buy a shirt however. I always thought he was a looser. Sorry you got took. I hope all the people he scammed get together and file a class action now that the truth is out it was a publicity scam. Good luck and great site.
	September 9, 2008 13:05:44 (GMT Time)

Name:	JewveBeenFramed
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	Screech, if you're reading this please suck my shit out of my asshole with a straw!
	August 18, 2008 15:49:07 (GMT Time)

Name:	kelly grow
Email:	kellygrow{at}hotmail.com
Where are you from:	arcata california
Comments:	im so happy i found this site. i fuckin hate this douche bag. i seriously hope that someone runs him over or somethin.
	August 14, 2008 15:57:41 (GMT Time)

Name:	Mr. Belding
Email:
Where are you from:	Bayside High School
Comments:	Hey Diamond, you're a Zubaz-wearing cocksucker! How dare you rip off little kids with your t-shirt scam. I'm gonna fire my HIV+ seed down your throat as penance for your disrespectful actions! Report to my office after Gym class with Coach Sonski for your "detention" punishment. I shall detain your ass for 45 minutes of anal pounding! xoxo Dick "The Big Bopper" Belding
	August 13, 2008 06:00:33 (GMT Time)

Name:	Kurt
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	I just found your website and I love it! Have you seen his profile on a "Washed Up Celebrities" blog: http://washedupcelebrities.blogspot.com/2007/01/dustin-diamond-2000-present.html Also, look at this blog with pictures of Dustin Diamond as a young child. After viewing the pictures of him on the ET ride, you can clearly see that Dustin was on the way to becoming a loser from an early age! http://dustindiamondfan.blogspot.com You may also want to visit this anti-Dustin Diamond forum - http://s12.invisionfree.com/Dustin_Diamond_Love
	August 13, 2008 05:50:44 (GMT Time)

Name:	Debbie
Email:	Debbie{at}yahoo.com
Where are you from:	New Jersey
Comments:	Ever see when they make fun of Dustin Diamond on Saturday Night Live? I think Tobey Maguire plays him. So funny. It's true Dustin Diamond isn't just a loser. But a sad, desperate, angry, ugly, asshole, loser.
	July 10, 2008 11:33:20 (GMT Time)

Name:	alex
Email:	alexa8ais{at}yahoo.com
Where are you from:	Az
Comments:	I hate this idiots guts!!! It just pisses me off more and more when I see the Celibrity fit club reruns, it actually makes my stomach hurt to see him!!! One day he'll get what's coming to him.
	June 27, 2008 17:47:42 (GMT Time)

Name:	kj atkins
Email:	kelgo22{at}insightbb.com
Where are you from:	louisville
Comments:	Hey gang, watch what happens to that piece of shit sometime in the month of July.
	June 10, 2008 03:35:01 (GMT Time)

Name:	Adrienne
Email:	adrienne.allmond{at}gmail.com
Where are you from:	DC
Comments:	This dude is the biggest loser ever. I'd love to kick him up the ass if I ever saw him. He's so irritating!
	April 28, 2008 08:13:49 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:
	April 15, 2008 22:00:55 (GMT Time)

Name:	J
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	Ooh, almost forgot the link to his "foundation". http://www.dustindiamondfoundation.com/index.html
	April 14, 2008 12:19:02 (GMT Time)

Name:	J
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	I just found this site for the Dustin Siamond Foundation. He claims it is a foundation started when his wife (whatever she is to him because he claims that he is single sometimes) miscarried. I'd like to know where this money goes to if he even made any. My other question is, why is it called the Dustin Diamond Foundation if this foundation is supposed to be for the baby they say they lost. I had a miscarriage months ago and the idea that he may be using something so terrible to make money for his own greed sicken me. He can burn in hell.
	April 14, 2008 12:17:44 (GMT Time)

Name:	miranda
Email:	mrndlggns{at}yahoo.com
Where are you from:	georgia
Comments:	Who does this guy think he is?He was about to lose his house and people helped him and then he treats you/us like SHIT!How can he afford a lawyer if he cant pay the morgage on his house?He is a REAL BIG DICK!He is so self absorbed,he cant see all the people around him that he is hurting,not the mention all the fans he is losing.HE NEED HELP ONLY THE DR. CAN GIVE HIM,not really sure if that will work.YOUR A DICK!!!!!!!!
	April 7, 2008 17:45:57 (GMT Time)

Name:	Bren
Email:	ihatedustind{at}hotmail.com
Where are you from:	Texas
Comments:	Dustin Diamond is the nothing but a whining, disrespectful, loser cunt! I wish they would come out with a reality show with the prize is getting to stomp this idiot's ass into the ground! I bet that show would get some VERY high ratings!
	April 7, 2008 01:07:13 (GMT Time)

Name:	Princess Peussie
Email:	princesspeussie{at}fastermail.com
Where are you from:	Nasterville, OHIO
Comments:	I can tell you all right now that Dustin is much worse than you can imagine. He and that slime-bag Kurt Steinberg have been selling t-shirts and ripping off the turds who think this Dustin is for real. I can tell you right now that at my Royal Palace, these two are hated and even more than Jesus. AMEN!
	February 11, 2008 23:50:22 (GMT Time)

Name:	heather
Email:
Where are you from:	Ga
Comments:	I didn't order one of his shirts, and with never even think about helping him in any way. If he was on fire I wouldn't use any bodily fluids to put him out. He isn't worth my excrements. So yes, I agree his is a complete ass. I wish they still had celebrity boxing and put him up against Harvey. I would PAY to see that!! At any rate, great site!! But, I'm sure he enjoys that we all think he's a dick. But Harvey said it best, "He's a waste of sperm!!"
	December 20, 2007 05:12:54 (GMT Time)

Name:	Ron
Email:	Spondivitus{at}yahoo.com
Where are you from:	Ga
Comments:	He is a dick. He was on a radio show here and the Djs kicked him off and called him a dick. They then used his lame photos and stupid remarks as jokes for the show. He is a fag and should have his ass beaten daily. If you get a shirt from him I would wipe my ass with it and send it back. I think everyone who ordered the shirts should file a class action law suit and take claim to his house.
	August 10, 2007 23:07:49 (GMT Time)

Name:	Travis Townsend
Email:	ttownsend{at}sleepcityusa.com
Where are you from:	Helena, Montana
Comments:	I couldn't aggree more on how much of a piece of shit this guy is. I only had to see about half of the season of the weight loss show to know how much I want to punch him in the face. I just happend to stumble apon this web site just by puting in I HATE DUSTIN DIAMOND on a google search and this came up about fourth on the list. I really think that he was not trying to get publicity from the show and is acctually a complete ass hole. I am sorry that he has ripped you off. Just know that if he is to ever burn all of his bridges and has to hide in Montana, with all the other lunatics, I will be happy to knock him out with no questions asked. It would be such a pleasure. Thanks for putting such a good web site together hating such a dick. P.S. I saw his size and it is not really anything to brag about. I Hate Dustin, Travis
	July 1, 2007 05:13:49 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:
	June 28, 2007 03:27:05 (GMT Time)

Name:	Carolin
Email:	fetussack{at}sbcglobal.com
Where are you from:	Arizona
Comments:	I think that Screech is an ass hole dick face looser. I hope he gets a horrible crusty STD!
	June 28, 2007 01:27:06 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:
	June 27, 2007 14:22:32 (GMT Time)

Name:	Jouelles
Email:	jules{at}catchtheflybar.com
Where are you from:	Denver
Comments:	I f*cking hate him. He never ripped me off financially, but I feel like everytime he pops up on my TV, I should be paid for having to endure it.
	June 24, 2007 00:22:23 (GMT Time)

Name:	Jouelles
Email:	jules{at}catchtheflybar.com
Where are you from:	Denver
Comments:	I f*cking hate him. He never ripped me off financially, but I feel like everytime he pops up on my TV, I should be paid for having to endure it.
	June 24, 2007 00:22:08 (GMT Time)

Name:	J-Rock
Email:
Where are you from:	LA
Comments:	Just watching Screech on Celebrity Fit club makes me want to punch his lights out. I can't believe he's such a prick. I can remember a lot of assholes from high school, but Dustin Diamond takes the cake. Then sticks it up his ass and lets his dog lick it out.
	June 22, 2007 06:25:21 (GMT Time)

Name:	brittani
Email:
Where are you from:	california
Comments:	sue him.
	June 18, 2007 19:25:07 (GMT Time)

Name:	CHASE
Email:	CMEBLING{at}AOL.COM
Where are you from:	FL
Comments:	I HATE THIS FUCKING GUY: ONLY AFTER CLEBERITY FIT CLUB. I WANNNA BEAT HIS ASS. THANKS HAD TO VENT
	June 18, 2007 01:16:49 (GMT Time)

Name:	Stacie Moniz
Email:	mtngirl707{at}hotmail.com
Where are you from:	Cal
Comments:	Dustin is a dick!!! I didn't get ripped off I just think the guy is a total jerk. You should file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau, they might be able to get your money back.
	June 15, 2007 20:31:25 (GMT Time)

Name:	Sidney S
Email:	sidney_l0u{at}yahoo.com
Where are you from:
Comments:	You're right, Dustin Diamond is a dick! I didn't get ripped off by him, but watching him on Celebrity Fit Club has made me realize what and infuriatingly pompous ass he is! I hope he never gets his ugly face on television again.
	June 4, 2007 01:57:24 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:
	June 1, 2007 04:12:15 (GMT Time)

Name:	Lisa Klyer
Email:	LisaKyler{at}aol.com
Where are you from:	Osceola, AR
Comments:	I was not ripped off, but I still think he's a dick! He's a pathetic loser who cant acdept that he's a washed-up child "Star"
	May 19, 2007 18:44:54 (GMT Time)

Name:	Leila Ramirez
Email:	vitagirl22{at}aol.com
Where are you from:	Arizona
Comments:	I did buy that stupid shirt too! After watching Celebrity Fit Club, I want my damn $$ back! What an a******! His demeanor is so disrespectful to his fans...I grew up watching him-what a jerk!
	May 11, 2007 05:12:57 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:
	May 2, 2007 17:50:37 (GMT Time)

Name:	Dner
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	The gay community hates Dustin Diamond a lot too. We would love nothing more than to see Mr. Belding drop a large turd on his fro.
	April 24, 2007 04:48:26 (GMT Time)

Name:	arbys shitpipe
Email:
Where are you from:	dustins anal cavity
Comments:	http://www.dustindiamondlove.com we also hate dustin diamond
	April 23, 2007 21:32:12 (GMT Time)

Name:	diamondcutter
Email:	SCREECH{at}DUSTINDIAMOND.COM
Where are you from:	Arby's dumpster #2 Port Washington WI
Comments:	I'm glad I never bought one of his t-shirts... Good to know that there are more of us out there that think he is a total dick... Please join us... http://www.dustindiamondlove.com/forum/index.php http://www.dustindiamond.com/guest/guest.html
	April 23, 2007 20:19:00 (GMT Time)

Name:
Email:
Where are you from:
Comments:	dustin diamond is a dick
	January 2, 2007 18:02:41 (GMT Time)

Name:	travis
Email:	spacebrewingco{at}yahoo.com
Where are you from:	Dyer
Comments:	after that story, i hate diamond. what an asshole! hope he lost his house, greedy bastard...
	September 14, 2006 20:26:33 (GMT Time)

Name:	Kelly
Email:	tat2kelly{at}aol.com
Where are you from:	Hammond, In
Comments:	Dustin Diamond is a DICK
	September 12, 2006 16:43:27 (GMT Time)

Diamond Has a Sex Groupie?

2011-11-16T21:12:00.000-08:00

I recently discovered a website containing an article written by a woman claiming to have had some type of long-term relationship with Diamond. Although she does not explicitly mention that the relationship is sexual, she does strongly imply that it is! Here are some pictures of Diamond and the groupie. (This woman looks like the type of woman I would expect to see with Diamond.) I'm actually disappointed that the groupie isn't a dude as the gay community would like to see Diamond come out of the closet and admit to having gay lovers!

She writes:

Here’s where the story really begins: When I first moved to SLC about ten years ago, I found out that Dustin Diamond (Screech Powers himself) would be performing stand-up at a local club. How could I stay away?

I convinced my friend to go with me after work one night. Honestly, it was an innocent adventure – I thought we’d have a fun night out and that would be the end of that. I had no way of knowing that watching Dustin perform “blue” comedy would somehow make me wildly attracted to him. How could one anticipate such a thing? It’s ridiculous. So much so that I remember sitting in the audience feeling attracted to him and thinking, “I can never tell anyone about this. Am I really attracted to Screech?!? Gah!”

To illustrate how not into this night I was initially, I didn’t even bring a camera. Anyone who knows me will be shocked, but it’s true. I attended a celebrity event without a camera. As I quickly regretted that decision, after chatting with Dustin a bit after the show (where he seemed to talk right to me and ignored the rest of the line), I went to a local gas station and bought two things – a disposable camera and a cherry pie. Yes, you heard that correctly. I then proceeded (because, obviously I’m SUPER classy) to write my phone number on the cherry pie and give it to Dustin when we went back. Yikes. Ballsy. When I got back to the club, the security guy assigned to Dustin said he’d been asking about me and where I went. Good sign, right? So, we took the picture, I gave him his, er, dessert, and….well, now, see, as I mentioned before, I’m going to have to leave the rest to your imagination.

Hot Farting Video

2011-08-12T16:34:00.000-07:00

I just discovered this hot farting video! I believe that these dudes are possibly speaking Swedish or some other Scandinavian language. I enjoyed it when the one dude inhales the other dude's fart and appeared to be in ecstasy - that scene reminded me of what Mr. Belding and AC Slater probably did to Dustin Diamond on a daily basis on the rowdy Saved By The Bell set.

I bet that my homosexual Canadian stalker, Rick Bawls, also partakes in some fart inhalation every few hours while trolling Toronto-area rest stops and gas station bathrooms.

Diamond Admits That the Screech and Mr. Belding Characters Were Gay!!!

2011-06-26T22:26:00.000-07:00

Dustin Diamond's "Behind the Bell" autobiography/expose on his Saved By The Bell experiences hit store shelves in September 2009 and has been universally panned. I have not yet read the book myself, although I did read a recent review of the book in the Onion's AV Club. According to the Onion AV Club article, Diamond admits that his character Screech had a gay relationship with Mr. Belding, as Diamond's queer fans have suspected for years!

The article recites:

Diamond writes about how he suspected that the writers of The New Class deliberately tried to undermine him and co-star Mr. Belding (he has a name, yes, but neither you nor I should ever invoke it) by making their relationship not so much homoerotic as explicitly homosexual. According to Diamond, they’d write stage directions where Screech and Mr. Belding gaze into each other’s eyes and soulfully embrace. If Diamond is being truthful—I assume everything he says is at the very least a big exaggeration—then that is officially the most awesome shit ever. Rock on, subversive, anonymous Saved By The Bell: The New Class scribes.

Picture of Rick Bawls' "Mother"

2011-06-26T22:16:00.000-07:00

It is well-established that my obsessive Internet stalker, a Toronto resident who calls himself "Rick Bawls," is a raging homosexual who apparently masturbates several times away while thinking about me. It is also known that Rick Bawls is the son of notorious necrophiliac serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer. However, not much was known about his mother until recently.

New information has been brought to my attention about Rick's "mother." Apparently Rick's father anally deposited his unusually potent seed into the colon of a cross-dressing man known only as "Jizelle." A recent picture of Jizelle is shown below. I heard that Rick Bawls' fetus grew within Jizelle's rectum until one day when Jizelle thought he was taking a massive dump only to look down into the toilet and see the baby Rick Bawls looking back at him!

Video Clip of Rick Bawls Getting Knocked Out

2011-06-18T18:36:00.000-07:00

Rick Bawls started a riot in Toronto last week after the closing of his favorite rest stop and then traveled to Vancouver to participate in the Vancouver riot this week! Rick is seen in this video hitting an overturned car over and over with a metal club. Rick is the one with the black hair wearing the long-sleeve blue shirt and the plaid newsboy cap.

Rick Bawls walked away for a little bit when the Good Samaritan in the black Adidas jacket ("the Adidas guy") showed up and told him to stop. However, Rick returned and attempted to light the car on fire, enraging the Adidas guy. Rick finally turned to leave after the Adidas guy threw a haymaker at Rick but missed. Rick had a disgusted look on his face as he walked away and was clocked on the side of his head by another guy. Rick apparently has a glass jaw, because he immediately crumpled to the ground. Rick totally deserved what happened to him in this video - maybe next time he'll think twice before participating in a riot! I have it on good authority that Rick woke up 45 minutes later in a gas station bathroom covered in shit and semen and his blue shirt was soaked with piss!

Riot in Toronto After Rest Stop Closure

2011-06-16T20:46:00.000-07:00

I have previously written about Rick Bawls, my Canadian stalker who is in love with Randy Constan and is obsessed with me and other fans of Dustin Diamond. Rick Bawls lives in Toronto and is a raging HIV+ homosexual. He brings his obsession to a creepy level and has set up about 20 different Facebook profiles himself, one of which was a copy of my Facebook profile (he used my name and pictures and tried to pass the profile off as me!). He also engages in conversation threads on Facebook between his different logins to make it appear as though several people are discussing a topic, even though in reality it is really just him alone.

Rick Bawls is also engaging in an unhealthy lifestyle and as a well-known staple at the gay rest stop scene in the Toronto area of Canada. Apparently Rick Bawls' favorite rest stop, where he frequently works in a glory hole, was shut down last Saturday as a result of fire code violations due to all of the discarded crack pipes and used toilet paper lining the floors at the rest stop on the west side of Toronto.

Rick Bawls and his queer comrades were not happy about this closure and expressed their displeasure via a full-scale homosexual riot!!! Here are some pictures of those violent deranged Canadian homosexuals turning over cars and starting fires. Man, those Canadian fruits are incapable of living without their favorite rest stop! Order was eventually restored about 24 hours of rioting and 5 deaths. The fire marshal also ordered several firemen into the west side rest stop to hose down the men's room to flush the toilet paper and crack pipes out onto the street. Rick Bawls must be happy now that his rest stop is open for business again!!!

More Spankworthy "Remember When" Posts From The Dustin Diamond Love Forum

2011-06-13T21:31:00.000-07:00

These are some more of the hottest posts I've ever seen posted at the now-defunct Dustin Diamond Love Forum:

Diamond learns about fitness
Dner - April 1, 2011 02:41 AM (GMT)

Diamond, remember when you were playing dodge ball in gym class? Remember when Slater said, “YO FAGGOT!” and threw a dodge ball at your giant Jew beak? Remember when you collapsed to the gym floor? Remember when Ox and Slater stood over you laughing and calling you a “pipsqueak” and a “twerp?” Remember how embarrassed you were when you saw Lisa laughing at you? Remember when Slater and the rest of the football team started chucking dodge balls at you without mercy? Remember when you developed massive bruises and welts later in the day? Remember when you got up and told yourself that you were gonna really apply yourself in gym class and beat the jocks at a game of dodge ball? Remember when you went to Coach Rizzo, crying, and told him you wanted to buff up for gym? Remember when he said, “it’s okay Rim Goblin (your favorite of his pet names for you,) Belding and I will help you get in shape!”? Remember when Rizzo told you to meet him in the weight room after school? Remember when you showed up in the weight room wearing super faggy 80’s spandex aerobics clothes? Remember when Belding and Rizzo showed up and instantly started to laugh at your barely visible package? Remember when they told you to hit the weights? Remember when you lightly punched the weights and made a crack about “hitting” the weights? Remember how un-amused they were by your shitty joke? Remember when you grabbed some dumbbells and started wildly swinging them around, thinking you’re a tough guy, and just generally acting like a total queer? Remember how this enraged Belding and Rizzo? Remember when Belding grabbed you, sat on your head, and pinned you down? Remember when Rizzo tore off your stupid outfit? Remember when Rizzo grabbed an EZ bar and shoved it up your ass and fucked you with it until your colon gave out and you shit yourself? Remember the way your screams were muffled by Belding’s massive ass? Remember when Belding laughed so hard at Rizzo’s EZ bar shenanigans that he let loose a nasty wet fart? Remember when you started to lap up Belding’s shit and popped a huge boner? Remember how this enraged Rizzo and Belding? Remember when they grabbed a couple of dumbbells cracked you in the face with them? Remember when they shattered your teeth? Remember when Belding whipped out his massive principal cock and fucked your torn asshole while Rizzo strangled you with exercise machine cables? Remember when they both took turns cumming in your ass and strangling you while laughing like crazed baboons? Remember when they whistled and the football team came out of the locker room and had their way with you? Remember when fisted you and farted on your face? Remember when they took turns giving you HIV from their violent and unprotected butt sex? Remember when they pissed all over you and started to kick you in the head? Remember when you blacked out and woke up in the gym covered in HIV+ sperm, piss, and feces? Remember when you heard a lot of cheering and realized that Bayside was holding a pep rally in the gym when you came to? Remember how offended you were when you realized that it was an anti-demented Jewish faggot rally that Belding led? Remember when the entire student body walked passed your limp body and spit on you? Remember when the students left and Belding fucked you silly again, still not giving you any pleasure because you don’t deserve it? Remember when he bellowed like a hippopotamus and came in your ass, giving you super AIDS? Boy you sure learned a lot about fitness that day!!

Diamond Meets the Little People
rocco - September 7, 2010 03:46 PM (GMT)

Diamond, remember when you were recently hired by a little persons convention to do your stupid comedy act? Remember how the event was held outdoors in a park? Remember how the food was a catered BBQ and without asking you just helped yourself? Remember how annoyed all the little people got that you didn't bother to ask before loading up your plate like a pig? Remember how because that was the first meal you had had in weeks that you didn't eat from a homeless mans ass you ate like a complete animal? Remember how disgusted all the midgets were? Remember how you angered them even more when you did your comedy act? Remember how no one laughed which was nothing new for you? Remember how to really cater to the event you peppered your act with lame jokes and continually used the word "midget" even though they despise that term? Remember when your show was over no one clapped? Remember how as soon as you got off the stage you immediately headed to a little woody area to take a piss because you had drank 10 glasses of lemonade and you were scared of being raped in the portta potty? Remember how you didn't notice a midget was standing right at the foot of the woods? Remember how because you're so fat your belly blocks your view and you are unable to see your tiny dick or anything directly below you? Remember how you unzipped your Zubaz? Remember when you pulled out your tiny Zoinker and just started pissing, your fat belly blocking your view? Remember how un-beknownst to you you were pissing directly into the face of a midget? Remember how relieved you were to have voided your bladder and turned around, bent over, and ripped ass, releasing a disgusting fart right in the midgets face knocking him over. Remember when you zipped back up your Zubaz and headed back up to the party? Remember how all the midgets had seen what had happened? Remember how the midget you had pissed and farted on ran up behind you and tackled you? Remember how the rest of the midgets charged you screaming? Remember how you yelled "Zoinks" and began releasing farts in an attempt to repel them? Remember how you had developed this "skunk defense" over the years due to the daily beatings and rapes you suffered? Remember when the midgets were unaffected by your farts and ripped off your Zubaz and began violating you anally? Remember when they began spit-roasting you and you felt hundreds of hands beating and pummeling you? Remember how surprised you were that even though they were small in stature many of them had enormous cocks? Remember how you wound up coated in an enormous amount of jizz? Remember how they considered this payment for your show? Remember when you caught a new STD that had previously only occured in dwarfs? You sure fucked up that time Dman!!

ROCCO

Diamond learns about Chap Stick
Dner - August 26 2010, 02:37 PM

Hey Diamond, remember when your lips were chapped and red? Remember how painful it was to suck off homeless men, because it'd cause your lips to crack? Remember when you were sitting in Tuttle's drivers ed. class licking your lips? Remember how childlike and loudly you were licking your lips? Remember how mad everybody was getting at you for being an annoying little twit? Remember when Slater slapped you upside the head and screamed, "hey mang, if you lick your lips one more time, I'm gonna make you lick my SHIT lips!!" Remember when you laughed childishly at Slater's "shit lips" crack? Remember when Tuttle said that you'd better do what you're told because he was getting very annoyed? Remember you made a crack about Tuttle's pit stains and when back to licking your lips? Remember when Slater said, "alright faggot, I've got some lips for you to lick!" Remember when he ripped off his double belted acid washed jeans? Remember when he grabbed your jewfro and shoved your face into his ass and forced you to lick his asscheeks while he rattled off nasty taco farts? Remember when Tuttle screamed at you for being a deviant queer and marched you into Belding's office for your faggotry? Remember when Belding said, "alright Samuel, what's the problem??" Remember when you said, "ZOINKS, my lips are dry and cracked and everybody is getting mad at me for licking them! ZOINKS!" Remember when Belding said he had some Crap Stick for you? Remember how you thought he said Chap Stick wrong because he was usually high on crack in the afternoon? Remember when you said, "sure Mr. B, I need some Chap Stick!" Remember when Belding threw a wink at Tuttle? Remember when Tuttle got you into a full nelson and wrestled you to the floor? Remember when Belding pulled down his Dockers and squatted over your face? Remember when you saw his anus dilate and a turd poked half way out of his rancid deficator? Remember how the stench made you throw up and get an erection at the same time? Remember when Belding scribbled all over your face with his disease ridden turd marker? Remember when you got Hepatitis from the open soars on your lips? Remember when Tuttle got so worked up he ripped his 46 inch dress pants off got to work furiously masturbating? Remember when Belding farted the rest of the turd out along with a liter of diarrhea onto your face? Remember when you started to crawl away and Belding bust you upside the head with his Principal of the Year award? Remember when Belding jammed his massive principal cock into your ass and started to fuck you wildly? Remember when Tuttle blew his load in your face and started to piss all over your head? Remember how you screamed in terror because of this vicious assault? Remember when Belding blew his HIV+ load into your ass, instantly giving you super AIDS? Remember when Belding pissed all over you and gave you another shit spray? Remember when they laughed, high fived, and went to the boys locker room to clean up? Remember when Mylo the Janitor walked into Belding's office to sell some crack to Belding, only to find you there on the floor? Remember how relieved your were to see Mylo? Remember when your relieve turned to horror when Mylo said, "mmmMMM, a Jew for a Jiggaboo!" Remember when Mylo had his way with you whilst calling you his prison bitch? Remember when he came into your body and gave you all sorts of prison diseases like TB? Remember when he shoved his mop handle up your ass and used your jewfro to mop up all the shit, piss, and cum off Belding's floor? Remember when he teabagged you and left your for dead? You sure learned what happens to annoying little shits like yourself!

Diamond Meets the Duke Boys
rocco - May 22, 2010 01:15 AM (GMT)

Diamond, remember during the New Class when Mr. B got very depressed that his lover was a hooknosed, cocksucking, Zubaz wearing, assclown? Remember how he thought back to his days when he was a good looking ,thin man, who had once had a foursome with Bo and Luke Duke along with Uncle Jessie? Remember how he put in a call to Uncle Jessie? Remember how you were shooting a scene and as usual you acted like a total faggot and fell over while trying to skate on some wheelie shoes you had invented? Remember when all of a sudden you heard the general lee's horn and you saw the shadow of the General Lee overhead? Remember how the General came out of nowhere with a monster jump and landed directly on top of you breaking nearly every bone in your body? Remember how Uncle Jessie and Bo and Luke slid out the windows of the General Lee and Mr. B ran over and immediately began sucking off Uncle Jessie? Remember how you moaned with the hopes someone would help you? Remember how Bo and Luke began taking turns buttslamming Mr. B who began grunting with pleasure? Remember how you were forced to watch this and how upset you got as Mr. B had never given you pleasure in any way and now the Duke boys jump their car out of nowhere, land on your body, then immediately began doing things to Mr. B that you had never been able to do? Remember how Uncle Jessie jizzed all over Mr. B's face? Remember when Bo and Luke jizzed all over Mr. B's bald head? Remember how Mr. B smiled and you could see he was in total ecstasy? Remember how the Dukes all piled back into the General Lee and when they left they gunned the General causing a massive burnout that ripped all of the skin off your back? Remember how you heard the Generals horn beep as they drove away? Remember how the Big Bopper with a huge smile came over and jerked off all over your crumpled and mangled body, then went to the Max to get a burger? You sure got screwed over that time Dman!

"Screech Learns About Authority" Episode Recap
arbys_shitpipe - April 30, 2010 06:26 AM (GMT)

Hey Screech,
Remember the episode where you inexplicably found yourself in Belding's office? Remember how he was smoking a pipe and wearing a silk bathrobe? Remember how he asked you to come sit on his lap? Remember how you reluctantly complied? Remember how he eased you onto his lap, ass to cock first, whispering in your ear "Screech, are you comfortable?". Remember how you nodded silently in agreement? Remember how he whispered to you again, saying "Screech, from now on I'd like you to know I'm only going to have consensual sex with you"? Remember how Tuttle then walked into the room shirtless, wearing only his signature Dockers khakis and business shoes? Remember how he stood before you, unusually calm, ready to unzip his pants and said "Screech, from now on I'm only going to jerk off on you after asking first, may I?" Remember how you said "yes, please do". Remember how you then felt his warm semen dripping down on to your crotch? Remember how just as you were thinking to yourself "this is the best day of my entire life", you woke up, finding yourself alone in bed with fresh semen sticking your zubaz pajamas to your tiny genitals? Remember how, even though it was a dream, you decided you would nonetheless ask Belding if you could have consensual sex that day? Remember how you walked into his office and said "Mr. Belding, I-i-i'd like to ask you something?". Remember how he looked at you smiling, and responded "sure, what is it Screech?" Remember how you shuffled your feet on the ground, looked at the floor and said "I-i-i-i was wondering if we could... you know... maybe... have consensual sex once in a while"? Remember how you heard him say "Of, course we can Screech"? Remember how you looked up, in disbelief, only to see him smile and say "come sit in my lap"? Remember your feeling of elation, as the situation was panning out just like in your dream? Remember how you went and comfortably mounted yourself on his lap? Remember how confused you were when the expression on his face suddenly changed to an angry one? Remember how he clenched his jaw and said "Screech there seems to be a little confusion about who the boss is around here" in your ear through his teeth? Remember how he pulled open his desk drawer with his leg? Remember how he flipped you into the drawer head first and then stomped it shut so hard that he fell over in his chair? Remember when he got up and picked you up out of the drawer, throwing you to the ground flustered with anger? Remember how he then pulled a .45 beretta out of the drawer? Remember how he yelled "get up Screech, the PRINCIPAL SAYS GET UP!!!". Remember how he then proceeded to rip off your zubaz and fuck you in the ass while he rammed the gun in your mouth? Remember how he started asking you "who's the boss around here?" Remember how you tried to say "you are", but couldn't because you were choking on the gun barrel? Remember how as he started to climax he pulled the gun out of your mouth he yelled "the Bayside County Sheriff THE BOSS OF THIS TOWN!!!!!" while he shot off rounds in random directions? Remember how Tuttle came running out from behind the bookshelf? Remember how Tuttle wasn't running towards you this time, but away from you as he ejaculated all over himself while scrambling to find better shelter from the indiscriminate gunfire? Remember how Belding then wiped the sweat off his brow and yelled "WOO!" You sure learned a lot about authority that day!

"Belding's Butter"
Dner - April 15, 2010 01:02 AM (GMT)

Hey Screech, remember when you were in the cafeteria eating your lunch by yourself? Remember when Belding approached you and asked if you wanted to sample his new line of dairy products? Remember when you jumped and said, “Zoinks! Sure thing Beldo!” Remember when he said the first product he wants you to sample is his Belding Butter? Remember when you poked Belding in the gut and said “I don’t have any dinner rolls to put it on, maybe I could use one of yours!” Remember when Belding grit his teeth and didn’t say anything about the fat joke, but you could see that he was angry? Remember when he lead you into the kitchen? Remember when you saw the school’s wrestling team and a bunch of mangy bums cumming into a butter churn that Tuttle was busy churning? Remember when Belding grabbed you and pushed your head into the half solidified jizz? Remember when he started to violently rape you against your will while the wrestling team cheered him on? Remember when your body was about to go limp Belding pulled you out of the Belding Butter? Remember when Tuttle started to furiously masturbate into your gaping mouth? Remember when Tuttle and Belding beat you with kitchen utensils and left your for dead? Remember when only a week later Belding saw you in the cafeteria eating and asked you if you wanted to sample his newest dairy product? Remember when you asked him if it was his Belding Butter? Remember when he laughed and said, “heavens no! It’s my new line of chocolate ice cream!” Remember when Belding winked at Slater across the room? Remember when he ran over to you and kicked you in the gut? Remember when Belding and Slater held you down? Remember when Mylo came into the room and took a big meaty twisting shit into your mouth? Remember when Slater announced he was gonna give you some chocolate syrup and took a diarrhea shit all over your face? Remember when Belding said he was gonna give you some nuts for your sundae and then gave you the tea bagging of your life? Remember when Tuttle came screaming into the room masturbating? Remember when he gave you a wicked elbow drop? Remember when the gang laughed and high fived each other and left you for dead? Boy you sure are a damned fool!

Diamond Learns About Healthcare Reform
rocco - March 19, 2010 03:32 AM (GMT)

Diamond, please confirm that earlier this week our horrible President Barack Obama and his side-kick Joe Biden stopped by your Port Washington home to try and garner your support for their unconstitutional push for what they have termed Healthcare Reform. Alas, the fact that Obama sought your support shows his lack of any common sense, yet he sought you out anyway. Is it true when he entered your ramshackle abode he found you nude, looking at your Bayside yearbook while jerking off to a picture of Slater in his wrestling singlet? Is it true Obama ignored this spectacle and began talking about Healthcare and how he would crush the evil insurance companies and provide health insurance for those who didn't want to work like yourself? Is it true you yelled "Zoinks!!! You mean if I don't work I get healthcare and Kurt Steinberg and Rocco will pay for it?" Remember how Obama said yes and you yelled "Zoinks" with delight and then squirted canned cheese into your fat face? Remember how Obama asked for your support and you told him he had it but that you were to lazy to leave your house so you really wouldn't do anything? Remember how this enraged Obama and he farted in your face then pulled off his pants and began spitroasting you with Joe Biden? Remember how Biden had a limp dick the entire time but he kept jamming it in your face anyway? Remember how Obama blew his load all over your body and you really didn't notice as you were still looking at your Bayside yearbook? Remember when Obama said he thought you were smart and funny and that he had enjoyed buttslamming you and farting on your hooknose? Remember when he left your house and you turned on vh1's Dr. Drews Sober House? Remember how you didn't even think twice about the president dropping by to talk shop and ass fuck you? You sure learned a few things that day Dman!

ROCCO

Diamond Goes to Burger King
rocco - March 14, 2010 01:17 AM (GMT)

Diamond, is it true that yesterday you found a five dollar bill on the street? Is it true you immediately headed to Burger King? Is it true that at the counter you asked for a whopper and gave the cashier the money? Is it true the obese black girl running the cash register took your money and shoved it down into her enormous waistband then said ok, one plopper, that's 5 bucks, hold on for your food? Remember how becuae you are a broke loser you hadn't eaten for three days and didn't even notice she had said plopper instead of Whopper? Remember when you saw her go back in the kitchen area, get a Whopper roll, then stick it into the back of her pants and began grunting? Remember when she then pulled it from her pants and wrapped it up in a Whopper wrapper? Remember how she threw it on a tray and gave it to you and said, there you go, enjoy. Remember how the stench of the plopper hit your giant hook nose immediately and you unwrapped it while still at the counter? Remember when you saw the sandwhich was just a whopper roll that she had taken a nasty, runny, shit on? Remember when you complained and she told you you got exactly what you had ordered, a Plopper? Remember when you asked to speak to the manager and Mr. Dewey came out from a tiny office and asked what the problem was? Remember when Laquisha who was the cashier said you were being an asshole? Remember when Mr. Dewey saw it was you and asked what your fucking problem was? Remember how you explained you had ordered a tasty Whopper but instead she shit on a roll and gave it to you? Remember how Laquisha interjected that you had not ordered a Whopper but had made a special order for a Plopper which she had made for you? Remember when Mr. Dewey said that because you had placed a special order for the Plopper it was not returnable and you needed to take your hooknosed Jew faggot ass out of his store? Remember when you complained and the customers behind you began getting irate? Remember when Harvey from Fit Club burst to the front of the line and told you to move your fat ass and eat your fucking shitburger? Remember when he punched you in the face and ripped off your Zubaz? Remember when Harvey whipped out an enormous schlong and shoved it up your ass? Remember when Mr. Dewey leaped over te counter and began throat fucking you while slamming your head against the ground? Remember how everyone in the line began pissing on you then began jerking off? Remember when Harvey and Mr. Dewey came all over you as did the rest of the crowd that had gathered? Remember when Harvey picked you up and tossed you into the Burger King dumpster along with your Plopper sandwhich? Remember how you laid there covered with semen, piss, and shit? Remember how you were so hungry you ate the Plopper and actually decided it tasted pretty good? You are one fucked up loser Dman!

ROCCO

Diamond Meets Luke Perry
rocco - March 10, 2010 01:57 AM (GMT)

Double Dog, is it true that after filming SBTB one day you ran into Slater who was hanging out with Dylan from Beverly Hills 90210? Is it true you were excited and ripped a loud, wet, fart that stained the back of your Zubaz? Remember how as soon as Dylan aka Luke Perry got a whiff of your scent he was enraged? Remember when he said you ripping ass in his presence was "way uncool"? Remember how Slater agreed and came over and headbutted you? Remember when Luke Perry karate chopped you and then dropped his pants and forced you to suck his cock? Remember when you noticed Luke's pubic hair was mostly grey because although he played a teenager he was actually like 50? Remember how as you sucked his cock Slater ripped off your Zubaz and began thrusting his manchilada in and out of your asshole? Remember when they both came all over you? Remember how Slater and Luke high fived and Slater bent over and fired a shit tsunami all over you? Remember how they both laughed, pulled up their pants and headed to the Peach Pit to get milkshakes and have sex with Nat? You sure were uncool that time Dman!

ROCCO

Diamond Tries to Win Back Mr. B
rocco - November 30, 2009 08:52 PM (GMT)

Diamond,
Remember that time that the Big Bopper had left you for Webster? Remember to win his heart back you climbed on the hood of his Yugo and turned your boombox on to play Whitesnakes, "Here I go Again"? Remember how you wiggled around pretending you were Tawny Kitaen? Remember how mad the Big Bopper got when he saw you doing this as you had put a scratch in the hood of his Yugo? Remember how he punched you in the face breaking your nose? Remember how he and Webster spitroast you while Slater dropped ass in your face? Remember while all this was going on "Here I go Again" continued to play on a loop in the background? Remember how Mr. B pimped you out and made you give him all the money so he could fix the scratch? You sure were a giant faggot in that epsiode!

ROCCO

A SBTB Thanksgiving
rocco - November 28, 2009 02:43 AM (GMT)

Diamond, remember that Thanksgiving when you headed over to Mr. Beldings for Thanksgiving? Remember how the year before he had served you Hound Dog? Remember how happy you were that he couldn't serve you Hound Dog again? Remember when everyone sat around the table and Mr. B brought out the turkey on a silver platter? Remember how hungry you were? Remember how less hungry you were when Mr. B removed the platters lid? Remember when he removed it you saw he had cooked Beck the Duck? Remember how he hadn't removed the oil or feathers and it she was just a burnt up mess? Remember how you screamed and Slater jumped up, dripped his pants, and fired a shit tsunami at you? Remember how Mr. B was furious you had ruined his dinner and shoved Becky up your ass? Remember how she came back to life and began bitin the ass out of you while Slater and Mr. B had a swordfight in your mouth? Remember after blwoing their loads in your mouth Mr. B fired you out of his house into the front yard? You sure ruined Thanksgiving that time!

ROCCO

Diamond Gets A Reach Around
rocco - August 21, 2009 03:30 AM (GMT)

Diamond,
Remember when Mr. B was buttslammming you and he reached for his crack pipe and inadvertently bumped his hand against your baby cock? Remember how happy you got because you thought your idol and lover had finally given you a reach around? Remember how you basked in glory as Mr. B smoked crack then finished buttslammng you and pulled out and blew his load in your Jew fro. Remember how you couldn't wait to tell someone about how your lover had given you a reach around? Remember how later on that night you sat in your room while wearing your queerest Zubaz pajamas and decided you would tell your mother you were gay and in love with Mr. B? Remember when you went to her room and opened the door? Remember when you saw that Mr. B was ass fucking Mrs. Powers and they both were smoking crack? Remember how you told your mother she had better back off because Mr. B was your man? Remember how your mother told you to get the fuck out of her room and called you a hooknosed faggot? Remember how Mr. B was infuriated and told you that he wasn't gay and that he was sick of your faggot filled delusional love for him? Remember when you started to cry and your mother got all hot and bothered? Remember when Mr. B came over and started to strangle you while your mother put on a strap on dildo? Remember when Mr. B bodyslammed you to the floor and ripped off your Zubaz?Remember when your mother told you since you were a faggot that liked getting assreamed she was going to teach you a lesson? Remember when she began buttslamming you with her strap on while Mr. B buttfucked her? Remember how humiliated you were as they smoked crack and screamed names like, cocksucker, zubaz wearing faggot, and hooknosed Jew bastard? Remember when Mr. B finished assslamming Mrs. Powers and blew his load in your eye then farted in your face? Remember when Mrs. Powers pulled the strap on out of your ass then shoved it in your mouth? Remember how Kevin the Robot filmed the whole thing and sold it to Nerdstrom who sold copies of it to everyone at Bayside? You sure learned about reach arounds that time!

ROCCO

Diamond Learns About Indians
rocco - August 12, 2009 08:41 PM (GMT)

Diamond,

Remember when you dressed up as an Indian in the hopes that no one would recognize you and thus rape you? Remember how you came to school with a headdress on and war paint on your face? Remember how you were immediately recognized by Slater and Zack? Remember how mad Zack was because he had Indian blood in him, and had given a speech about Indians? Remember how angry he was that you were desecrating Indians by dressing as one of them when all you had in you was feces, jizz, and jew blood? Remember when Slater started dancing around you doing Indian yells? Remember when Zack gave you an elbow to your head causing you to fall over backwards? Remember when he then dropped a big leg, Hulk Hogan style onto your bird chest and cracked two ribs? Remember when you began to scream out and Mr. B came out of his office to see what all the commotion was? Remember when he saw you laying on the ground, dressed as an Indian, while moaning in pain? Remember when Mr. B got mad at you for dressing like an Indian? Remember he got mad not because he was part Indian, but because he liked Indians and thought you were a cocksucking loser? Remember when he said it was time to teach you about Indians, especially their smoke signals? Remember how happy this made you as you were certain Mr. B understood that you liked Indians and that he would teach you how to send smoke signals to him the next time someone attacked and raped you? Remember how this dream quickly went south as Mr. B poured some lighter fluid on your jew fro and set you ablaze? Remember when he ripped of your Zubaz and began buttslamming you while yanking the headress causing your flaming and smoking jewfro to send puffs of smoke into the air? Remember how Belding said he had just sent the Indian smoke signal for someone to take a dump on you? Remember how Slater complied by dropping his acid washed jeans and releasing a nice dump on your face? Remember how Mr. B yanked the headdress again and said he had just sent the signal for someone to spitroast you? Remember when Zack's dad appeared out of nowhere and stuck his cock in your mouth and began throat fucking you? Remember how you were amazed that he while he did this he sold 250 computers while talking on his enormous cell phone? Remember when after completing the sale he began high fiving Mr. B? Remember when your burning jew-fro and head dress burnt his arm and he got mad? Remember when he stood up and he and Mr. B blew their loads on your sizzling jew fro to put out the fire? Remember how you collapsed in a heap and Maxwell Nerdstrom and Ollie Creaky came over and farted on you? Remember how Mr. B said school was cancelled for the day and took everyone to an amusement park to celebrate? Remember how you were to burnt up to go? You sure learned about Indians that time!

ROCCO

Diamond Meets a Nazi
rocco - August 11, 2009 05:29 PM (GMT)

Diamond,

Remember when Belding asked you if you wanted to play Nazi? Remember how you said yes because you are stupid? Remember when Mr. B gave you some rags to wear, shaved off your jewfro, and made you live in Hound Dog's doghouse that he had surrounded with barbed wire and a guard tower? Remember how Nerdstrom and Slater manned the tower and would piss and shit on you from it? Remember how Mr. B would come by and they would salute him? Remember when he demanded you turn over your "jew gold"? Remember how you said "Zoinks" and told him you had no idea what he was talking about? Remember when he said you probably had hidden your jew gold in your anus and he was going to search for it? Remember when he ripped off your filthy Zubaz rags and buttslammed you while giving Nazi salutes and yelling "Seig Heil"? Remember how mad he was that no jew gold was found in your ass and blew his load all over your face? Remember while this was going on Slater shit on you from the guard tower and Nerdstrom pissed on you? Remember how you began to cry and all of a sudden Mrs. Powers and Zack rode past you on a tandem bike? Remember how Mrs. Powers jumped off the bike, lit up her crack pipe and began fingering herself? Remember when Slater jumped down from his guard post and began fucking her in the ass while yelling shit about "Der Fuher"? Remember when everyone abandoned you as Mr. B said he was sick of playing "Nazi" and they all went to the Max for milkshakes? Remember how they left you there for two weeks and you almost died? That was one crazy episode!

ROCCO

Mr. B and Slater Come Over for a Visit
rocco - February 26, 2009 04:30 PM (GMT)

Diamond,
Remember when Belding and Slater showed up at your house to tag team Mrs. Powers? Remember how mad they got when you told them she wasn't home and that she was out with Jamoca who was her crack dealer? Remember how that infuriated the Big Bopper and he pulled a stun gun out of his pocket and stunned you with it? Remember how Slater bitched that he was looking forward to some of your Mom's ass and to make up for it he and Mr. B made you wear a wig and pretend you were your mother? Remember how they would only refer to you as "Mrs. Powers" while they tag teamed your ass? Remember how fucked up you found it when Slater exclaimed "Mrs. Powers you have such a nice tight ass, unlike your hooknosed cocksucker of a son". Remember how that upset you and you began to snivel and Mr. B punched you in the back of the head and said "quit whining Mrs. Powers or Slater will turn you out to his cousins!" Remember how they finally blew their loads all over you, then Slater took a wicked crap on your head? Remember Slater saying "See ya later Mrs. P". Remember how you responded with a pathetic high pitched "Ok Slatey" mimicking your mother? Your mom sure fucked you over that time fuckface!

ROCCO

Diamond Gets a Christmas Tree
rocco - December 1, 2008 12:32 AM (GMT)

Diamond,
Remember a few day after Thanksgiving back in 1998 when you kept whining to Mrs. Powers about getting a Christmas tree? Remember how your constant "Zoinks" and whining infuriated her? Remember how she made a phone call and said that she had phoned someone and they were bringing over the goddamn tree? Remember how happy that made you and you pranced around the house singing like a fag and "zoinksing" over and over again? Remember how the doorbell rang and you ran to the door and opened it? Remember how you saw the Chief at the door and he immediately punched you in the face, headed into the living room, dropped his pants, and released a large foul smelling shit on the carpet? Remember how he said, "there is your fucking Christmas tree you beak nosed faggot"! Remember how he then scooped up Mrs. Powers and carried her into the bedroom where he left the door open so you could fully hear Mrs. Powers screams while he anally violated her? You sure learned about Christmas trees that day!

ROCCO

Diamond Goes to the Bathroom
rocco - November 13, 2008 10:02 PM (GMT)

Dusty,
Remember that one occasion when you were in the Bayside bathroom taking a shit and Mr. B came in? Remember when Mr. B sat down and immediately began letting loose enormous farts, and stinking up the entire bathroom? Remember how you began to gag a bit as the smell hit you in the face and Mr. B just kept grunting and farting as hard as he could? Remember when you released one tiny squeaker of a fart as you dropped your cum filled shit into the toilet? Remember when a moment later Mr. B kicked down the door of your stall and began screaming at you for ruining his "quiet time" with your unnecessary fart? Remember when Mr. B bent over and released a torrent of shit on you, while also releasing some more of his heinous gas? Remember how this coated you in a filthy shit resin? Remember when Mr. B wiped his ass on your jew fro, then kicked you so you fell into the toilet? Remember when Mr. B began flushing the toilet and crossed his fingers hoping that you would be flushed away? Remember how much fun it was when he left you stuck in the toilet, your ass in the bowl, and your legs dangling over the edge? Mr. B sure taught you not to ruin his "quiet time"!

ROCCO

Hound Dog Teaches Diamond a Lesson
rocco - October 19, 2008 04:30 AM (GMT)

Diamond,
Remember the episode when you for the 10th time in a week forgot to flush the toilet after taking a shit? Remember when Mrs. Powers stomped into your room and fired the watery turd she had picked out of the toilet at your face? Remember how you began to cry as the shit streaked down your face, and you told your mother Hound Dog had left that shit in the toilet? Remember how your mother didn't believe you for a second and called you a hooknosed lying bag of shit? Remember how she came over and farted in your face, then dropped her pants and made you lick her asshole which tasted strangely like Mr. B's cock? Remember how she stomped back out of the room and you thought all the hub bub was over? Remember how you didn't realize that Hound Dog was laying on the floor and had heard you try to blame him for forgetting to flush the toilet? Remember how that night while you slept hound dog forced open the back door and let in 10 other dogs? Remember how they woke you up by all of them taking shits on you and pissing on your jew fro? Remember how a German Shepard and a Poodle ripped off your Zubaz pajamas? Remember when a Shitzu and a Great Dane started fucking you in the ass while Hound Dog forced you to suck his doggie cock? Remember when you heard a loud crash and your closet doors collapsed? Remember when you saw Mr. Tuttle with his pants around his ankles jerking off vigorously as he enjoyed watching the dogs rape you? Remember how he had landed on your Faggot of the Year award which Mr. B had given you? Remember how the award was just a rusty railroad spike that Mr. B had written "Faggot" on? Remember how the spike impaled Mr. Tuttles spine, and caused a huge loss of blood? Remember how this did not stop Mr. Tuttle from completing his act and firing his seed at your face? Remember how at this moment all the dogs also jizzed all over you then farted in your face one by one as they left? Remember how you laid there in your room with dog shit and piss all over the place, and a dead Mr. Tuttle laying on the floor? Remember how much trouble you got in when Mrs. Powers found THAT mess the next morning? You sure learned not to fuck with Hound Dog that time!!!

ROCCO

Tuttle on the loose
Buckins - August 10, 2008 08:54 PM (GMT)

Hey Scritch, remember the episode where Zack and Slater found a stale Danish pastry that had been dropped on the corridor floor at Bayside? Remember how it had been stood on several times? Remember how they spiked it with two bottles of Jessie's caffeine pills and left it in Mr Tuttle's science classroom? Remember how the Tuttler came in and gobbled the Danish down in two bites? Remember how a minute later he started jiggling horribly? Remember when he started tearing around the corridors shouting "WAH-ZOO!" and "PUSHY-PUSHY, MOVE YOUR TUSHY" at the top of his lungs? Remember when he leap-frogged several students, causing them severe spinal injuries? Remember when he kicked Mr Belding's office door off its hinges and ate little baby Zack Belding? Remember how much this pissed off Belding, because he had been flaunting his infant son in order to ward off suspicions over the "confiscated" gay ethnic porn he kept in his office? Remember how Zack and Slater told Belding that you had slipped Tuttle the pills as part of a weird science experiment? Remember when Belding bellowed over the intercom for 'that faggot Screech Powers' to come to his office immediately? Remember when he ordered you to capture and restrain Mr Tuttle? Remember when you asked how a pasty shrimp like you was supposed to capture a hyperactive morbidly obese man? Remember when he replied "That's your problem, vulture conk!", kicked you in the nuts and then threw you bodily out of his office? Remember how you donned a queer Steve Irwin-esque getup and proclaimed yourself 'the Tuttle-Hunter'? Remember when your search led to a number of shennanigans including getting pissed on by the entire football team and accidentally giving Mr Dewey a handjob in the math room supply closet? Remember when you finally found Tuttle taking a shit in the gym hall? Remember when you snuck up on him with a volleyball net and tried to capture him in it? Remember how his girth made this impossible? Remember when he started snarling and grabbed you by your jewfro, chomped down on the end of your nose and bit it off? Remember when he escaped, leaving you bleeding and screaming? Remember when Coach Sonski painfully soldered the end of your nose back on in Shop Class? Remember how you were rethinking your search plan when Belding dragged you into the cafeteria? Remember when Tuttle was lying on the floor unconscious, having suffered a cardiac arrest because of the caffeine overdose? Remember when you said "Zoinks Mr B, we gotta call an ambulance!"? Remember when Belding said "No need little buddy, we can fix this little problem ourselves in a jiffy!" Remember how as he was saying this, Slater had snuck up behind you with a chair? Remember when he cracked you over the head with it, knocking you to the floor? Remember when he promptly smothered your ensuing sobs with a thick blanket of Taco Bell diarrhea? Remember when Belding tore off your canvas shorts, yanked your legs into a splits position and started drilling into your asshole? Remember when you screamed in agony, and Slater kicked you in the gut? Remember how Tuttle's unconscious body started to twitch? Remember when, just as Belding was climaxing, Tuttle sat up, fully awake, your incredibly erotic abuse having revived him? Remember when Slater yanked your head back, and Tuttle shot a rope-thick load right into your bawling mouth? Remember when everyone but you high-fived at a job well done? Remember when Belding said he would take everyone to the Max for milkshakes to celebrate? Remember when the gang piled into his shitty car? Remember how just as you were about to squeeze in, Zack shouted "Sorry Screech, no pubehead faggots allowed" and slammed the car door, trapping your nose in it? Remember how Belding started accelerating down the road, dragging you along, until the end of your massive schnozz tore off again, leaving you a crumpled heap on the kerb? Remember when you rolled onto your back and murmured that at least you could enjoy the beautiful Californian sunset? Remember when Becky the Duck swooped out of nowhere and took a huge, sticky shit right in your eyes, blinding you?Boy, you sure learned what a fucking loser you are that time!!!

Remember when slater all of a sudden became proud to be mexican?
trust the dust - March 20, 2008 01:41 PM (GMT)

Yo screech, remember that time in that episode of saved by the bell: the college years when slater became proud to be mexican? remember how everyone took it seriously? remember how everyone was careful with what they said as to not offend him? remember when you thought you'd be just "one of the guys" and asked slater where your nachos bel grande was? remember when slater said "hey man, thats not funny" and got in your face? remember how you had that shitstain smile on your face and said "oh ho ho speedy gonzales is getting angry!" remember how everyone just kind of scoffed and had a disgusting look on their faces? remember when zack called you an "insensitive cocksucking faggot" and balled up his fist to punch you square in your hooked gonzo nose? remember when slater told zack to back off and said "I'll handle this preppie"- remember when he emphisized "handle this?" remember how he kind of grinned and licked his lips? remember how puzzled you were but you were still unaware of the fact that everyone was fed up with your shitty puns based on stereotypes? remember how lisa called you a tiny dicked faggot and pushed you into slater? remember how you bounced off his pecs and fell to the ground crying and convulsing like an infantile retard? remember how slater picked you up by your jew fro and slammed you into the refridgerator? remember how he said "hope you like the special screech, cause it comes with extra sour cream!" and blew a load in your face that was so powerful it lacerated your skin and caused your facial bones to collapse? remember how everyone pointed and laughed at you? remember how compared to alot of the other violent gangbangs you've been through, this one was reletively tame? remember how the big bopper burst through the door with his signiture phrase; "HEY HEY HEY JUST WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" remember how everyone was wondering what the fuck belding was doing at their college? remember how he came over to console you? remember how he said "someone call an ambulence!" remember how happy you were to find your hero, gerald belding helping you? remember when the ambulance got there and you were beind wheeled out on the stretcher by belding himself? remember how odd you thought this was? remember as he was coming out of the building he said "WOOPS!" and pushed you out into the street into on coming traffic? remember how you got hit by a 1992 ford fiesta and toppled over the roof of the car, smashing your stupid face into the scalding pavement? remember how you screamed the pavement was burning your skin and everyone just laughed at you? remember how zack came over and kicked you in the head causing you to black out? remember that screech? You sure learned not to fuck with someones ethnicity that day!

Screech Meets his Grandparents
rocco - Feb 2 2008, 05:12 AM

Diamond,
Remember when Mrs. Powers told you that your grandparents were coming over for a visit? Remember how excited you got because even though you were 16 years old you had never met them? Remember when the doorbell rang and you ran to the door to finally meet your grandparents? Remember when you answered the door your "grandfather" was Mr. B dressed in a gray wig and your "grandmother" was AC Slater who hadn't done anything to disguise himself? Remember how Mrs. Powers invited them in and you attempted to protest how it was only Mr. Belding and AC Slater? Remember how your mother yelled at you that you were insulting her parents? Remember how you complained and asked why your grandmother was Mexican and had a mullet and was wearing acid washed jeans? Remember how your mother screamed at you "shut the fuck up you hooknosed bastard." Remember how your "grandmother" pulled a switchblade out of her pocket and opened it and aimed it menacingly at you? Remember how at this time your "grandfather" whipped out his cock and began stroking it? Remember how your "grandmother" did the same? Remember how all of a sudden Mrs. Powers and your "grandparents" all got up and left the room? Remember how you could hear shrieks and grunts coming from the bedroom? Remember how you went and looked in to see what was happening? Remember how you saw your "grandparents" both fucking Mrs. Powers in the ass while she screamed in ecstasy? Remember how you ran crying to your room because your dream of meeting your grandparents had turned into a nightmare? Remember when you cried yourself to sleep but were awoken by your grandparents attacking you? Remember how your "grandmother" sprayed you down with a diarreah spray, while your "grandfather" told you he owed you many birthday gifts and tore off your zubaz pajamas? Remember how fucked up you realized your life was when your "grandparents" began spit-roasting you and your "grandfather" demanded you suck his huge cock? Remember how they left you on the floor of your bedroom bleeding and soaked in cum and urine? Remember when the last thing you remembered was your grandmother farting in your face, and that it smelled a lot like burritos? Mr. B and Slater really got you good that time shithead!

ROCCO

Deucer
Posted: Sep 13 2006, 06:42 AM

That reminded me of the zoo trip episode. Screech, remember the episode where you went on a field-trip to the zoo with Belding, Zack and Slater? Remember how Belding decided it would be funny to throw you into the gorilla enclosure? Remember how the gorillas eyed you up hungrily and started stroking their hardening schlongs? Remember how the silverback alpha-male grabbed you roughly and tore down your zubaz before plunging his mighty saber into your too-tight ass? Remember how you felt your colon tear horribly as the gorilla went in deeper? Remember how he mercilessly pounded your destroyed ass whilst tossing you around like a scrawny rag-doll? Remember how you noticed that all the other gorillas, as well as the chimps in the adjoining cage and Zack, Slater and Belding, were all stood around masturbating furiously at the spectacle? Remember how the hot stench of primal lust in the air reminded you of the time you were gang-raped in the boy's changing room by Ox, Slater and Marvin Nedick? Remember how the alpha-male roared mightily before gunning an astonishing amount of semen into your corrupted digestive tract? Remember how this was a sign for all of the others to climax, and a call of the wild went up as everyone ejaculated simultaneously? Remember how thick ropes of hot animal sperm arced through the air, drenching you thoroughly? Remember how the alpha-male withdrew, took a shit in his hand and mashed it into your jew-fro? Remember how the zookeeper later told you that, in gorilla society, this meant that the two of you were now married? Remember how you were forced to live with your new husband for 6 months until he finally suffered a heart attack one night while reaming your ass for the umpteenth time? You sure are one unlucky sonofabitch!

A remember when that you never knew the truth to
Dustins_Rim_Goblin - April 24, 2006 08:41 PM (GMT)

Dustin, do you remember when the studio decided to get rid of the Kevin the robot prop and how you thought that Kevin was real? Remember how much you cried like little girl and your older castmates laughed at you so much that you ran into Milo's broom closet and cried for hours on end. Remember when you found some voodoo stuff of Milo's and you did voodoo to make Kevin come back to life. Remember how several day's later Kevin found you and you took him to your house. Remember how Kevin would knock you out and take advantage of you. Remember one time you woke up and found your chest cavity ripped open and Kevin was taking a dump in your chest? Remember how he saw you came to, so he took a baseball bat and knock you out? Remember how Kevin made you undress in front of him and stuck his cock in you and shot thick ropey loads in your rectum. Remember how you never questioned why a robot could take a dump or shoot thick ropey loads on you, or even why Kevin's penis looked like a real human cock? Remember how one time Kevin ass raped you, robbed your house, called you the stupidist faggot in the world and you never saw or heard from him again? Well I've got some news for you. What you didn't know is that when the studio threw out the Kevin suit, I was digging in the garbage cans. I found it and dressed in it with the full intention of engaging in gay sex with you and than humiliating you. I really got you that time you stupid fag. I mean come on dipshit, it was a fake robot, yet it was able to shit on you and it had a flesh penis. Are you that fucking retarded? The best part was when I took that shit in your chest and beat you with the bat. Remember how you kept crying for your mommy until I finally knocked you out cold. Remember how you woke up in a pool of blood and feces. Remember how I sat there with a grin on my fake robot face? Rmember when I said you had crabs and needed to shave your pubes. Remember how afer you shaved, I threw carburator fluid all over your penis and it burned. Remember how you curled into the fetal postition and cried. If Kevin the robot showed up at your doorstep, would you let him in? Damn I bet I can get you good again. Silly fag

Remember the track meet?
Deucer - August 3, 2005 08:11 PM (GMT)

Screech, remember the episode where Zack was supposed to be in a track meet but couldn't take part unless he finished his history project first? Remember how Zack jokingly suggested that you fill in for him, and everyone laughed at the thought of you trying to run? Remember how upset you were at the thought of being made to run, but then you thought it over, and you began to fantasize about running alongside the other boys in their tight running shorts, and you realised it might not be so bad? Remember how you hoped it would be a relay race, and you fantasized about one of your team mates grabbing your erect penis instead of the baton?

Remember how you started taking it seriously, so Belding called you to his office so he could have a word with you about 'the big meet'? Remember how you went in and he stood behind his desk and said "Screech, I've called you here because I wanted to talk to you about the big meet..." and then he flopped his cock and balls out on the blotter pad, pointed to them and when he saw your shocked face said "I meant THIS big meat, you scrawny-ass motherFUCK!!!!"? Remember how he walked over to you and slapped you unconscious with the hardening head of his ding-a-ling? Remember when you came to you found he'd bent you over his desk and was unapologetically ploughing you in the ass? Belding sure got you good that time!!!

Remember when you spent the night in jail
Dustins_Rim_Goblin - August 2, 2005 04:30 PM (GMT)

Dustin, remember whe you got arrested for taking advantage of a bum when you were 14 on the set of SBTB, and a judge decided that you needed to be scared straight so he sent you to jail for the night. Remember how everyone was giving you cat calls and calling you sweet meat as you were lead to your cell. remember your cellmate Paco who immediatly made you his bitch. Remember how they wanted a group of inmates to talk to you with hopes that you'd stop raping bums. Remember how they put you in a dimmly light room with 10 big inmates and locked the door. remember how they toke turns violently raping your ass as the guards stood outside laughing and taking pictures. remember when one guy shoved his whole fist up your ass and grabbed your spleen as you screamed out loud. They sure taught you a little lesson didn't they.

Rememberwhen you dated Candace Cameron
Dustins_Rim_Goblin - July 29, 2005 09:13 PM (GMT)

Dustin, do you remember whe you "dated" Candace Cameron in an attempt to make you look straight. Remember when her studly brother Kirk came by the set to pay you a little visit. Remember how he punched you in the stomache an pulled your underoos so far up your ass crack that you had to cut them to get them off and you bled for 5 days straight. Remember how he came back to visit you and told you to leave his sister alone and he'd hook you up with Danny Pintauro. Remember how he came to the set with Danny and Danny looked you over and told you to fuck off as he spit in your face. Remember how the both of them trampled and beat the shit out of you until Kirk dropped his pants and sprayed diarrhea all over you as you lay crying for security. They sure told you.

Remember when...
Dner - July 25, 2005 06:04 AM (GMT)

Hey Screech, remember the time that Lisa got her dad's credit card for her good grades? Remember how she spent beyond her means and she couldn't afford to pay her bill? Remember how scared she was of her father? Remember how you and the gang said that you'd help her out because "thats what friends are for?" Remember how after a few days of raising some dough Zach and Slater approched you on a scheme that would get Lisa off the hook for good? Remember how they led you to Belding's office claiming that Belding had an excelent idea to save Lisa's hide? Remember when you walked into the office and Slater locked the door behind you and you didn't really think anything of it? Remember how Zack said "here he is sir! Prime for the pickin!" and it still didn't add up? Remember how Belding said in a low sleazy voice "goooooooood...." and stood up and unbuttoned his pants? Remember how just when things started to add up Slater cracked you over the head with Belding's Principal of the Year award? Remember how you fell to the floor? Remember how you scrambled to get to the door and to the hallway? Remember how as you started crawling Zack kicked you in the stomach? Remember how Zack and Slater grabbed you and pinned you to the floor? Remember when Mr. Belding ripped off your Zubaz and said "this'll be worth ever fucking cent! NOW TAKE YOU JEWISH FAGGOT!!!!" Remember how Mr. Belding jammed his middle aged wrinkled hard cock in your unlubbed ass? Remember how Zack and Slater chuckled and giggled as Belding rapped your torn up bleeding asshole? Remember how you screamed in pain? Remember how after about ten minutes of Belding pummeling your ass he pulled out and shoved his fist in your rectum? Remember how Belding said "Slater my boy, why don't you have a little fun?" Remember how Slater let go of you and Zack knelt on your shoulders and started to jack off on your face? Remember how Slater pulled down his acid washed jeans and stuck his Mexican man beef burrito in you bleeding ass? Remember how he fucked you and then shot his load in your ass? Remember how Zack finally came and blew his spooge on your face? Remember when Belding said "alright you two. I think you've had enough. He's all mine!" Remember when Belding got in the 69 position on top of you and grunted a turd out onto your face? Remember when he said that he's still got some "school spirit" in him? Remember when his teeth latched onto your cock and he shot out a stream of school caffeteria food shit all over your face? Remember when he turned around and finally came on your face and then rubbed him and Zacks fluids all over your face? Remember when he finallly stood up and said "it wasn't worth it" and kicked you in the stomach? Remember how Zack and Slater finally convinced Belding to keep you for his pleasure for a few days? Remember how Belding finally gave Zack and Slater the money needed for Lisa's credit card? Remember Belding told you that Jew's were only good at making money and then grabbed your fro and farted in your face? Remember when he tossed you under his desk and left you there while he cleaned up in the bathroom? Remember how you felt under there all shitted up and jizzed to oblivion? Boy that Bayside gang sure has some crazy schemes!

RememberWhen - July 20, 2005 12:17 PM (GMT)

Hey Screech,

Remember how Jessie's most famous line was "I'm so excited, I'm so excited... I'm so scared"? Remember how she nicked it from overhearing your sexy conversations with Belding as he produced his schlong and first introduced it to the ravaged world of your tight ass?

Remember how Jessie, the feminst, joined the Cheerleading squad? WTF was all that about? Remember how you got really pissed off at Jessie and how she used to get all the attention from AC Slater?

Remember how you got Slater and Jessie to fight? Remember how Slater found out and stuck his taco bell cock up your vagina, I mean ass? Remember the squishing noises as he rode you like a bunking bronco and he was the cowboy? Remember how much your ass hurt?

Remember how you fell asleep and woke up the next morning dumped on an island with a bunch of strange looking men dumping their soil on your face? Remember how you thought they were Cannibals and you thought they would anally rape you, then eat you? Remember how they did? Remember how you enjoyed it before Belding rescued you?

Remember how Belding was in full army uniform and kicked, punched and shot the cannibals away from your schlong which was hanging off by a thread? Remember how Belding took you into his old Army helicopter and he dumped his hot stew into your eyes, bukkake style and it ran down your face? Remember how he began to get hungry and eat the rest of your hanging monkey cock?

You sure got eaten by Cannibals that time Screech!

RememberWhen - July 20, 2005 08:53 AM (GMT)

Hey Screech, remember when Zack got James the actor/waiter to impersonate his father so he can get out of going to Stansbury and get Jessie to be entered instead? Remember how James' fake moustache kept peeling off? Remember how Zack couldn't keep a straight face? Remember that time you walked in on James tickling Zack's zinger with his falling-off moustache? Remember the jizz Zack spilled onto James' face?

Remember how you wish you were recieving that special salty solution instead? Remember how Zack got infurated and punched you in the gut? Remember how it hurt so bad you ended up arched over? Remember how James' eyes widened as he shoved his Coke Can sized schlong up your beef shoot? Remember how he ravaged your ass whilst he sang the entire works of Shakespeare at the top of his voice?

Remember how you stumbled out of the closet and into the sex ed class with your trousers down and blood pouring between your legs? Remember how you walked in on the sex ed class and Jessie looked at your schlong and cried "I'm so excited, I'm so excited..." and then when she saw your blood dripping ass she yelled "I'm so scared!" and ran off to tell Belding?

Remember how Belding said suspended you from all classes and made you do homework at his house? Remember how you wondered why Belding was so interested in you, and all 6 members of the school and how he often hung around them like he was the Fonz or something?

Remember that night when you got to his house and you saw Belding, Zack and James the actor complete with fake moustache ready to tickle your zoinker? Remember how you looked to the camera and yelped "ZOINKS!" as each of them took you up the poop-shoot?

You sure got full blown AIDS that time you afro tea-baging jackass.

remember when you went to Palm Springs?
Dustins_Rim_Goblin - July 19, 2005 11:36 PM (GMT)

Screech do you remember when you and the whole gang went to Palm Springs for Jessies dad's wedding. Remember when you wore nothing but a pair of zubaz and walked around shirtless hopeing to get some guys. Remember how you thought Zack was in love with you and you almost told him how you want to suck his cock. Remember how Zack started to talk serious with you and you tried to kiss him, so he punched you in the face and shoved his cock in your mouth. Remember how Slater came over and stuck a parking cone up your ass until you bled. Remember how Jessies dad came over to show the guys how to swing. Remember how you got AID's that day after a gang of bums raped you. That was one of my favorite episodes.

Peter Engel sure didn't like drugs...
RememberWhen - July 19, 2005 08:58 PM (GMT)

Hey Screech!

Remember how Slater and Zack used to fight over Kelly every day of school (even Saturday)? Remember how they used to get *REAL* close... remember how they eyeballed each other? Remember how you wish they were fighting over you instead?

Remember how you used to fling yourself between Slater and Zack hoping to rub cocks with them? Remember how Belding had to break apart this male schlong fest with a baseball bat?

Remember how he claimed you were the cause of the fight because of your lazy, wide open gas-pump gangbangable ass-hole? Remember how he sent you to the chemical lab to score up on your lagging grades or else Belding would purposely kick you in the crotch on your graduation day photo?

Remember how when you entered the chemical lab Jessie was doing drugs? Remember how she was all like "I'm so sxcited, I'm so excited, I'm so...SCARED!" Before derobing herself right in front of you?

Remember how your pecker didn't make a move and you wondered why? Remember how your nerdy ass led you to the drugs and started handing them out hoping that it would somehow find its way to the guys? Remember how you rubbed your hands in glee when all the guys starting doing your drugs and started to take off all their clothes?

Remember how Zack got hold of your secret drugs stash and sold it to the entire school, not realising the effect it would have? Remember how you said "ZOINKS" as every guy offered their ass to Zack in a kind of Zombie way? Remember how guys shot their load all over him and you ran off leaving Zack to be anally raped by the ass-raving zombies that you created? Remember how he yelped "Help me screech!" as the guys started to pencil his ass with their many schlongs and fill his blonde mouth with their silky milk dross?

Remember how you ran straight into Charles Bronson who was filming the rather tedious "Death Wish 4: The Crackdown"? Remember how he had that ridiclousily oversized gun? Remember how big that 'tache of his was? Remember how you wondered how big his schlong was and how easy it would be to fit all that meat up your tiny white ass?

Remember how Brosnon kicked you aside and started blasting all the school kids for no apparant reason? Remember how he said "I was just making a sand-wich and some kids tried to sell *ME* those damn drugs ..." as he reloaded and kicked you in the nuts...

God... when Peter Engel wants to send a message that drugs are bad - he sure doesn't kid...

More Classic "Remember When..." Gay Fantasies

2011-06-13T21:19:00.000-07:00

I recently discovered these old "Remember when..." gay fantasies that had been originally posted in the now-defunct Dustindiamond.com guestbook:

25th July 2005 - 10:27:56 AM
59411 : RememberWhen
Hey, remember how your acting was likened to a piece of wood? Remember how you got pissed off and sent a piece of wood dressed up to look like you for one episode? Remember how it became a super-duper Acting movie star? Remember how you angry you got when it implicated you in homosexual relations with Mr Belding? Remember how the newspaper screamed "SCREECH GETS WOOD!" in its headline? Remember how you were chased by an angry mob down the street with piece of wood in thow? Remember how you finally escaped to Canada to do your "comedy" routine? Remember how the crowd got angry when you didn't produce wood? Remember how you got annoyed and pulled out your dick to the amusement of the crowd? Remember how your schlong got more laughs than any of your jokes? Remember how you cursed your career on that piece of wood and tried to sit on it to break it? Remember how you sat on it all wrong and it ended up half way up your rectum? You sure got wood that time Screech!

13th July 2005 - 11:58:32 AM
47721 : RememberWhen
Remember when you first watched Porky's and you saw that kid stick his meat in the shower hole? Remember how you thought it'd be a good idea to do so that you could lay a girl? Remember how you got lost in the backrooms of the school and stuck your dick in to a hole what you thought lead to the girls shower room? Remember how your dick filled something tight and squishy? Remember how good it felt? Remember how you pulled your schlong out and saw it covered in diaorrea? Remember how you looked through the hole and saw Max Nerdstorm wiping his fart-licious butthole and when he saw you he dumped his ass-load into your face? Remember how you ran out into the overweight class and the fat kids thought you had chocolate on your face? Remember how the fat kids all jumped on you and eat your face, biting it? Remember how one fat kid bit your schlong? Remember how they began to to do the 'truffle shuffle' and you got turned on and jizzed all over one fat kid's face? Remember how the kids parents bitchslapped you?

13th July 2005 - 10:56:05 AM
47720 : RememberWhen
Remember when the school returned from France & Belding got the crazzzy idea of putting everybody in French uniforms? Remember how he used to look down Kelly's shirt and peek under the desk when Lisa was in his class? Remember how you wish it was you with the skirt and your shirt Belding was peeking down? Remember how you got your way with him when you pretended your penis was on fire? Remember how he sent you to Slater's class? Remember how tight Slater's muscly ass was in that uniform? Remember that 7-minute long pre-recorded "WOOO!" track that saluted his ass whenever he bended over? Remember how you 'accidentally' slipped inside? Remember how you dumped your fluid into his ass? Remember how Slater was a wannabe Steven Seagal & broke your legs, arms and cock? Remember how you ran into the schools governors office and cried like a baby? Remember how shocked they were when you creamed all over their faces? You sure got expelled that time zubaz!

11th July 2005 - 04:40:34 PM
46219 : RememberWhen
Remember when you Jessie asked you to "poker" you thought meant she meant "poke her"? Remember how you poked her, despite her crying she hated "males, the pigs"? Remember how later on that year the feminist became a cheerleader? WTF was all that about? Remember how Slater found out and drafted you into the school wrestling team? Remember they put that stupid helmet on your head? Remember how you got all excited at the prospect of rubbing your dick against Slater's inner thigh whilst wrestling together on the sweaty mat? Remember how you thought "this must be what WWF wrestling must be like" and you went on to become a lazy, drunk wrestler? Remember how in the match Slater threw you to the ground, breaking 2 of your ribs and broke your leg in 3 places? Remember how you ended up black and blue? Remember how Slater tossed you off & threw you in the college football locker where every jock creamed you in the face? You sure got dressed up as a slut and got dumbfucked that time you deadbeat of asswipe!

11th July 2005 - 07:03:42 AM
45639 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember how you guys watched Animal House? Remember how you turned up in a toga the next day yelling "Toga, Toga... 2000!"? Remember how everybody tried really, really hard not to laugh at your scrawny chicken legs? Remember how Zack yanked down your toga and you ran off blushing profousily? Remember how you ran into that punk girl Tori? Remember how firm her abs were and how prominent her adam's apple was? Remember how she stuffed her dick down your throat until you wined like the weiner you are? Remember how Belding caught Tori in the act and got her suspended? Remember how Belding took you to the nurse's room and proceded to buttfuck your ass with his schlong? Remember how you he kept calling you his "screechy boy"? Remember how he dumped his load? Remember how your anus burnt for ages? Remember you got worried that the burning sensation in your ass made you think you'd get pregnant? Remember how you didn't? You sure got fucked over that time, loser!

11th July 2005 - 06:57:30 AM
45638 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember when you stuck your dick into a yummy warm tortilla? Oh wait, I meant Slater's ass?!

07th July 2005 - 10:36:23 AM
42339 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember how Santa came down your chimney? By chimney I mean throat, and by Santa I mean Belding.

Remember how KITT used to do turbo boosts over dykes - and by dykes I mean Zack, by KITT I mean slater, and by turbo boosts over I mean dumping his load into...

Remember how the tooth fairy used to give you $ for teeth? By the tooth fairy I mean Belding and by teeth I mean unprotected anal sex? Remember how he never paid you?

Remember how the air force wanted to take you away for being an alien? By take you away I mean probe you deeply, by alien I mean a sick sob.

Remember how Lisa got drunk and crashed her mercades? by crashed her mecades I mean got pregnant by Zack...

Remember how you used to have sex with goats?

07th July 2005 - 10:30:46 AM
42338 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember how you got diareria from eatting Zack's mom's home-made apple pie? Remember how you shat all over her kitchen floor, splashing her with your mucas? Remember how she had to take a shower? Remember how you caught a glimpse of her hot milf body naked? Remember how you felt uneasy when she started to jack you off with her pussy? Remember how Zack found out and invited his brothers to beat you up, then beat you off? Remember how Zack's mom gave birth to Mirth, your illegatimate son? Remember how you'd often go round to her house for your son to bone your ass whilst dumping your diarerria down Zack's mom's mouth? Remember how Belding found out and joined in too? Remember how the school nurse told you that Zack and you were, in fact, brothers? Remember how sick you felt as you recalled each time you shafted the milf? Remember how you thought nothing of it and kept going back for more? You sure were into in-bred back then!

07th July 2005 - 07:23:06 AM
42336 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech,remember how you were drugged by Jessie? Remember how you ended up feeling up her chest during History? Remember how the teacher got pissed off? Remember how you accidentally called the teacher "mom", despite the teacher being Mr Smith? Remember how everybody laughed at you? Remember how you got sent to detention? Remember how Mr Smith stuck cue sticks up your ass? Remember how you dumped your load all over Smith's face, exclaiming how much you loved "mom" -- remember how Jessie filmed the whole thing and got History banned because it was filled with males who she referred to as "pigs"? Remember how you saw that tape and got pissed off and replaced Jessies homrone replacement tablets with no-doz? Remember how the druggie Jessie got hoooked on the shit? Remember how she said "I'm so scared?!" Remember how you said "Ah shut up you pill-popping feminst cheerleading hypocrite!" Remember how Slater was right next to you and gave you a black eye, before jabbing a pencil in your penis eye? Jackass!

07th July 2005 - 07:17:33 AM
42335 : RememberWhen
Hey Kelly remember when you used to be a cheerleader? Remember how Jessie was a feminist cheerleader? Remember how Belding used to inspect the cheerleading team up close and personal? Remember how he had you, Jessie and Lisa in his room being inspected for any "creases" by his schlong? Remember how he'd fill your zoink hole with his zoinker? Remember how Screech found out and told to the whole school, including the foreign exchange students? Remember how Belding lost his job, hair and blow-up doll? Remember how Screech became prinicpal for a day and insisted that all the guys be cheerleaders for a day and got them all ready for inspection? Remember how you walked in wondering what happened to your soiled cotton panties and jersey when you saw Slater ravaging Screech's butt-hole? Remember how you faited and woke up with every guy dumping their load into your hussy pussy? You sure got pregnant that time!

06th July 2005 - 08:41:36 AM
41244 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember how Zack fleeced Kelly's parents out of millions to buy a racehorse? Remember how Kelly couldn't understand how her parents got broke and became a depressed unemployable hack? Remember how Zack told you to look after the horse whilst he dumped his load into Kelly's twat? Remember how you used to be jealous of the horses dick and cut it off and stuck it top on your own? Remember how the horse died and Zack blamed you for interrupting his first time with kelly? Remember how Kelly walked in seeing Zack beating off your horse cock? Remember how Kelly suddenly jumped on the horse cock? Remember how much of an ass you felt when you realised she didn't have sex with you, but with the horse cock instead? remember how Zack stuck the cock in your mouth and dumped you at Valley high school with a note saying you eat their prized horse? Remember how they beat you up and returned you to bayside with the words "ZOINKS" on the sign? Remember how this became your trademark cliched catchphrase?

06th July 2005 - 08:35:45 AM
41243 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember how in the New Class you seemed to spend an inaudimate amount of time in Belding's office? Remember how you used to have a goatee in that series? Remember how you seemed to be making a lot of the school's announcements ending with the words "ZOINKS!" just as Belding penciled in to your gaping rectum hole? Remember how at the year's end the school had a fancy dress competition and you came in a robin costume to Belding's Batman costume? Remember how Belding repeadily raped your ass whilst in full Batman costume? Remember how you used to say "Holy anal sex Batman!" Remember how Adam West found out and had a schlong fight with Belding? Remember how you expected lots of Biffs and Bops to explode out of Belding's face? Remember how this didn't happen and only blood came out? remember how afterwards he took you from Behind as an "old chum".. remember how you couldn't sit down afterwards? You sure got hepatics C that time screech!

06th July 2005 - 08:29:58 AM
41242 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember when you were in deep shit with Belding's school's creditors when you blew all the money on a blow up Belding doll with a massive 10 foot penis? Remember how you tried to pretend it was a bouncy castle and people used to jump up and down on the bouncy penis, especally Zack and Slater? Remember how you wish they were bouncing on your penis instead? Remember how ended up escaping to Mexico when Belding found out what you did? Remember how you returned the next year as Raul? Remember how you pretended to be Slater's long lost boyfriend so you could rub dicks with him? Remember how you creamed into his jerry curl and he kicked your ass when he found out you were Screech? Remember how you ended up paying for the massive debts outta your failed comedy routines whilst being labotomised by Belding's dick? No wonder you failed at getting laid in the entire series of Saved by the Bell.

06th July 2005 - 08:23:38 AM
41241 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember when Fred Savage, Winnie and that kid in the glasses came to your school? Remember how Fred could never get with Winnie and you thought you'd have a try? Remember how it was halloween and that kid in the glasses came dressed as a decapitaded Winnie to scare the bejesus out of Fred? Remember how you got really hard at the thought of dumping your zubaz into her anus? Remember how you began to ram her up the ass? Remember how Kevin screamed and kicked you in the ribs to get you off his ass, which he said was only for Fred? Remember how you were surprised to find it was Kevin but carried on screwing him anyways? Remember how Belding said "hey hey hey, that's your brother?!" Remember how you shrugged your shoulders and dumped your herpes loaded cream into the ravaged anus of Kevin? Remember how he never appeared on The Wonder Years after that? Remember how people used to think he grew up to be Marylin Manson? Remember how he beat you to a bloody pulp? You sure got zoinked good that time!

06th July 2005 - 06:29:00 AM
41240 : Mr. Y
"Hey Max Goldberg, remember when you were a little kid who loved nothing more than to watch Saved by the Bell episodes after school? Remember when they had the contest where you could win a trip to the set and visit all of your childhood heroes? Remember when you sat in front of the TV all week, waiting with incredible anticipation for each day's secret code word? Remember how, after watching all week and getting all five, you entered the contest? Remember how surprised you were when you won? Remember how excited you were, sitting on the plane, flying all the way across the country to Los Angeles? Remember when you finally got to Hollywood, how taken in with the glitz and glamour you were? Remember how when you entered the NBC studio lot, you were so excited that your hands wouldn't stop shaking? Remember when the big moment came, when you finally fulfilled your childhood dream and met the cast? Remember when your dream turned into a nightmare when Dustin Diamond, pretending like he was about to shake your hand, instead brought his knee up into the bridge of your nose? Remember how you went down like Mrs. Powers at an Elvis convention? Remember how Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Mario Lopez repeatedly kicked you in the ribs while Dennis Haskins tore your Zubaz from your twitching body? Remember how the girls laughed as Screech positioned himself behind you and screamed "THIS IS HOW A WEST COAST KIKE GETS DOWN!", and proceeded to violate your virgin anus in ways that your shattered young mind couldn't even begin to comprehend? Remember when Brandon Tartikoff slapped you in the face with his flaccid, coke-numbed dick? Remember how Mario Lopez made you suck off his Chihuahua? Remember how Hayley Mills just happened to walk by, and stuck a Q-Tip in your pisstube? Remember how the entire crew filled up an entire trash can with shit and semen? Remember how Dennis Haskins put his hand to his ear, as if to soak in the cheers of the crew, as well as your cries of agony, and then gave you a piledriver into it? Remember how you bled and screamed and cried, and as security dragged the trash can off the lot you swore that you would get revenge on the entire cast? Remember when you made dustindiamond.com and exposed Screech to the world as the flaming catrapist that he really is? Boy, you really got him good that time!"

28th June 2005 - 01:12:00 PM
33289 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember when Zack used your nerdy computer skills to salami slice the school funds into his private account and used the funds to buy and race a thoroughbred horse? Remember how you were strangley attracted to the obviousily male horse? Remember how you used to ride it to school, home and work? Remember how your dad used to lecture you for hours how he didn't go to WW2 so that you could ride a horse? Remember how you nicked the horse and made it ram you, repeadley? Remember how much people used to complain that you used to smell of horse shit but couldn't tell the kids why? Remember how the next day the horse couldn't run and Zack lost all his money on the track? Remember how Belding found out and sent Zack to 9 months in Military school? Remember how when he returned he smiled, accepted your apology and then broke both your legs? Remember how you looked up to his blue eyes and said "zoinks" just as he pulled out his meat & dumped his load on your face? Remember how he made you eat your horse?

28th June 2005 - 01:06:40 PM
33288 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember how you got you launched a reality TV show called "Punching Dead Celebrities" Remember how everybody thought you were dead, but said "meh" and punched you anyway because you were screech? Remember how you went from this to launch a multiple of reality TV shows like "You've been shot" and the homo-erotic "Screech and Belding's Jail house rock" where each episode you'd get anally raped by Belding and his cellmates for at least 3 hours? Remember how the series ended with you in a hospital with your ass hole wider than Roseanne Barr's waistline and a cricket bat up your ass? Remember how they pulled it out and you said "Zoinks!" Remember how everybody cried with laughter as the series ended... Remember how people in the street used to laugh right up to your pathetic face?

28th June 2005 - 01:01:31 PM
33287 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, Remember how the Navy took over fitness? Remember how they made you climb up ropes, scrub the latrines with your dick and suck donkey cocks for breakfast? Remember how the Navy decided to make you their official mascot? Remember how they made you poster boy for the 1980s? Remember how everybody laughed when the poster showed you smiling your ass off with the caption "Join the navy and fuck screech in the ass, for free?!" Remember how you don't remember agreing to that? Remember how your agent screwed you out of ten dollars just to get the deal? Remember how you ended up replacing some blonde girl as the official navy girl of choice? Remember how each navy cadete would pledge alligance to the flag whilst dumping his load into your unsavory ass? You sure got fucked over that time, jackass!

28th June 2005 - 12:56:22 PM
33286 : RememberWhen
Hey zitface, Remember how you got tons of facial warts and zits? Remember how Belding used to jack off over your face in a futile jesture to rid you of your zits? Remember how the milk drenched your screwed up face? Remember how one time you ran into the Chemical lab screaming your face off pretending that your face was being attacked by a chemical virus? Remember how the students pissed themselves and ran out of the school? Remember how you thought your cum-drenched face prank was the funniest thing since sliced bread? Remember how the kids found out and dumped you into a vat of toxic waste of some local industry baron? Remember how the press got wind of the story and turned you into the cock sucking toxic waste bastard? Remember how you took them to court to sue 'em for libel? Remember how you lost? Remember how they came all over your face giving you acne for the rest of your pitaful life? You sure got aids that time.

19th June 2005 - 12:19:31 PM
24329 : RememberWhen
Screech, remember how you came to school dressed as Michael Jackson? Remember how people thought it was strange how you used to come a lot in the Jackson pants? Remember how the local papers used to accuse you as "being Jackson" and hung around with all the kids of Bayside - remember how Jackson sent Lotia Jackson over to kick you in the nuts and serve you with a legal writ? Remember how you wanted to settle out of court? Remember how Jackson "agreed"? Remember how he invited you to his house to "mutally agree the deal"? Remember how you reappeared in school with your pants down? Remember how your face was a ghosty white? Remember how you promised you would never drink a glass of wine ever again? Remember how Belding overheard you and used to poision your milk carton's with wine, got you drunk and used to anally shaft you whilst you were in his car? Remember how you became the anal jockey you are today because of this one mistake? You sure got screwed that time punk!

19th June 2005 - 12:14:02 PM
24299 : RememberWhen
Screech, remember how you guys graduated but nobody told you, leaving you to return the next year? Remember how it was a totally "new class" and you wondered what was going on? Remember how Belding used to dress you up in his soiled leather jacket in a futile bid to make you hip? Remember how you wanted to be the "Fonz" but ended up being a 40-something honors student that "hung" around all 6 of the school's students? Remember how Belding used to keep you in his room hours on end whilst he dumped his load into your backside whilst you had his jacket on? Remember how the new class used to call you an assclown? Remember how they used to throw cow pies at your face? Remember how it kinda tasted like Belding's poo? Remember how you stood there for 30 whole minutes getting cow pies thrown at your face? Remember how a major manure company got you to be their sponsor and you ended up being shat directly upon by cows in a futile bid to show the public that "cows are safe" - remember how you couldn't stop itching for years after that? You sure got dumped on back then didn't you?

10th June 2005 - 11:27:01 AM
17608 :
Hey Screech, remember that Zack Attack episode on Save by the Bell that was hosted by Casey Kasem? Remember when you guys first began playing in a garage and then made it big and got a record contract and went on tour and got that new manager chick who caused the band to become divided? Remember when she helped Zack's ego become inflated and he went solo as a result? Remember when Slater became a racecar driver and ended up in the hospital and Zack heard about it and dumped the manager chick so he could be by Slater's side? Remember when you showed up and you and Zack and Slater had sweaty unprotected makeup sex back in the garage and then Mr. Belding showed up to find out why nobody had shown up for school in over a year and caught all three of you and personally performed his own version of the 'Zack Attack' on you while covered in maple syrup? I wonder why NBC deleted that scene, I thought it was funny.

10th June 2005 - 11:17:21 AM
17607 : RememberWhen
Hey Zack remember when you and slater got drunk and started to watch the complete works of Russ Myer? Remember how you thought Slater wouldn't bat an eyelid for when you got your schlong out for the "big titted women"? Remember how Slater proceeded to grease up your flute with his greasy mexi-mullet jerri-curlled hair? Remember how you shot your jism into his hair? Remember how he smiled and sucked the rest of your feebleness off? Remember how the next day you ratted on Belding and he forced Slater to wear a tu-tu? Remember Zack, how Slater got into his favorite college? Remember how you forced your way into his college too by getting James to tickle your cock with his fake 'tache? Remember how Belding never could understand what on between you two? Remember how much of a jockstrap you were to Slater's flute? God you were pathetic back then...

10th June 2005 - 11:11:59 AM
17604 : RememberWhen
Hey, Zoinksboy, Remember when your school held its annual soapbox derby? Remember how you built your shitty car from old hubcaps and boxes of Cornflakes? Remember how you had to pawn off your grandma's necklace to get the money to enter? Remember how you had to get anal with the local scrap-metal merchant to get the front bumpber for your car? Remember how you dreamed of taking Slater up the rear whilst in your car watching some 50s horric film? Remember how on the day of the derby you were locked in your garage by local schoolkids? Remember how you nearly choked to death from the car fumes? Remember how Belding came around to give you the kiss of life? Remember how you enjoyed it and began responded by steadily growing erect against Belding's inner thigh? Remember how Belding made you "headboy" of the school - a medal only bestowed unto one of "Belding's Boys"? Remember how the next year you set fire to all but your car so you could win Belding's schlong milk? Those were the days!

09th June 2005 - 02:21:54 PM
16596 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember how Zack would come up with a zany scheme to make money in every episode much like Sgt Bilko? Remember how one time Zack set up a lemondade stand? Remember how he'd force you to get up early to crush all the lemons? Remember how you ran out of stock and decided to supplement the lemons with your piss? Remember how kids from all over the state used to come over and drink your mucas urine? Remember how you told Zack it was your secret formula & patented as being "Golden Shower Lemonade"? Remember how the kids used to pull pubic hair from their mouths? Remember how many got zits, boils and ill from your piss? Remember how Belding rumbled you & forced you to shower in his "juice"? Remember how your skin became a zit-ridden, diseased pasty-cretin you call a face? Remember how you stupidily tried to use industrial bleech to get rid of the zits but the toxic chemicals burnt off half your face instead? Remember how much of a total jackass pansy you were back then and still are? Jackass.

08th June 2005 - 02:18:08 PM
16050 :
Hey Dustin, remember the episode where Screech entered in the Miss Bayside pagent? Remember how in the show Screech's robot gave him a shinner? Remember how the producers had to write that in because you came on set with a black eye one day? Remember how they asked about how you got it and you started to shake? Remember how your leather starfish loosened up and you let out a stream of bloody shit and cum? Remember how the producer told you to tell them what happened for "your safety?" Remember how you started talking about how Mario Lopez called you into his dressing room? Remember how he was listening to UB40's greatest hits? Remember when he asked you if his pink tank top looked cool? Remember when you said he looked like a beaner? Remember how he became enraged and busted you in the face? Remember how your eye started to swell and you said you were gonna tell? Remember how he said "loose lips sink ships you fucking kyke!" Remember how after he yelled that he pushed you over and pulled down his acid washed jeans and whipped out his throbbing cock? Remember how he ripped down your pants and slammed his cock in your pimply ass? Remember how he used his grease from his hair as lube? Remember how he fucked your ass to the beat of UB40? Remember how you squeeled and wiggled around and he tore up your rectum as a result? Remember how he started to pound you harder? Remember how you thought it'd be over soon and then you felt self start to shit? Remember how he scooped it up and put his hand on your mouth so you are forced to eat it? Remember how he let out a scream in his mexican language? Remember how he then blew his load in your ass? Remember how he shoved cotton in your ass to keep your shit and blood and his cum in your ass? Remember how he said that if you were to tell anyone he'd repeat his actions? Remember how you made your way to your dressing room and cried yourself to sleep and you made yourself forget it? Remember how after you told the producers your story you thought that they were gonna do something about it? Remember how they started to laugh at you? Remember how you felt when you poured your heart out and they stepped on it? Remember how they claimed Mario was "joking?" Remember how they took you to his dressing room to show you that he was "kidding?" Remember how they locked the door behind you? Remember how the producers and Mario took turns fucking your ass and mouth? Remember how Mario ate out your filthy ass? Remember how you tried to will yourself to death? Remember how you just passed out? Remember how you woke up in your trailor with a shaved head and dressed in rags? Remember how you walked into Mario's dressing room? Remember how Mario and the producers were watching a video of how they role played with your passed out ragdoll of a body? Remember how disgusted you were when you saw that they roled played you as an Auschwitz victim? Man, they sure raked you over the coals that day!

07th June 2005 - 12:24:02 PM
15046 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember how Zack and Slater used to fight over Kelly every episode? Remember how they beat each other off literally and methaphorically? Remember how Belding said they should sort it out like "men"? Remember how they proceeded to a swordfight with their dicks? Remember how they fought over Kelly in your ravaged, gang-banged, cockfucked hellhole you call your bumhole? Remember how you exclaimed "Zoinks!" when Kelly saw your tiny scrawny body being savaged? Remember how she joined in? No wait, this was one of your fucked up drug-fuelled dream sequences... Remember how you still wet the bed today? Remember how your mom took you onto Jerry Springer? Remember how you exclaimed to Springer that "Hitler was right!" Remember how he began to beat you up? Remember how his bodyguards joined in? Remember how you ended up celebrating your 18th on your own in some asylum somewhere called New Jersey? You sure got zoinked big time fuckwit.

07th June 2005 - 11:28:29 AM
15044 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, Remember when you married a male chimp? Remember how you'd put it into diapers? Remember how you'd tease its genitals with your dick? Remember how you dreamed you were on the Planet of the Apes? Remember the dream sequence had you screwing male apes every which way but lose? Remember how you wanted to get their "damn dirty hands" on you? Remember how by at the end of the dream you realised that Planet of the Apes was really Earth? Remember how you exclaimed the death of all humanity by proudly saying "Zoinks!" before coming all over the burnt statue of liberty's face? Remember how you shrugged your shoulders, woke up and kept screwing your male chimp wondering if Planet of the Apes would ever come true ... You sure were a dumb fuck back then weren't you?!

07th June 2005 - 11:12:07 AM
15042 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember when the school held its annual movie competition? Remember how you decided to dress up as MC Hammer, complete with baggy trousers and gangbangable hole for your poop-shoot? Remember how you made a really crappy rap with a close up of your face screaming "ZOINKS!" every five seconds? Remember how Zack thought it'd be funny to intersplice hardcore gay pornography before every cry of Zoinks? Remember how you played the tape in music class? Remember the tune? "Go Screech! Go Screech! Go (cut to interspliced image of hard cock rammed up Slater's ass then a close up of Screech's face)... ZOINKS!"... Remember how you were barred from school? Remember how your tape made you the 80s version of the Star Wars Kid? Remember how Belding used to come around to your house late at night to give you homework? Remember how he anally pleasured your ass with his bent dick whilst you were dressed up as MC Hammer belching "ZOINKS!" Remember how you remain the social dickwad you are today?

04th June 2005 - 02:44:40 PM
14302 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember when you lost your memory? Remember how you couldn't remember the hot anal goo that Belding deposited into your sweet cherry pie? Remember how you couldn't remember how Zack pre-recorded your "ZOINKS!" and put it on a loop and made you share his genital warts whilst he played the song repeadely? Remember how you forgot the time when Slater brought his military dad to come over and sodimise you? Remember how you forgot to suck him off and straddle his military missile? Remember how he forgot to wear a condom and got the same warts as Zack? Remember how he shipped you off to Cuba on a Naval frigate? Remember how you forgot the proud naval tradition of celebrating your entry hole with pale and circumstance? Remember how you forgot to leave your backdoor open to every passing navy merchant? Remember, when you returned home that no-one cared? Remember how you forgot to get your passport and you were promptly dumped back to Cuba? Remember how you forgot what an idiot you were back then?

04th June 2005 - 12:34:38 PM
14299 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember when you discovered Zack kept a cardboard cut out of Kelly under his bed? Remember how you also discovered his secret stash of gay pornography? Remember hot you became when Zack began to stroke your schlong with his noticable erection? Remember how he punched a hole through cardboard Kelly's pussy with his fist? Remember how he positioned the cut-out over your ass and began, repeadily, to butt-fuck your ass for well over 9 hours? Remember how he treated it like a machine? Remember the milky dross he spilt into it? Remember how he wailed in extasy the words "Oh Slater!!!" Remember how you told pretty much everybody else in the school? Remember how in Gym Zack became the social dickwad he remains today? Remember how Zack became a drunk with your phone number? Remember how he'd call you late at night and molest your asshole over the phone? Remember how you had to grow a goatee and become a strugglin' stand up comic? Remember how this didn't work out and you became Zack's love-play-toy?

04th June 2005 - 12:26:06 PM
14298 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember when the school stuck oil? remember how greasy the oil workers got? remember how much the thought of oil men drilling it deep turned your ass on? Remember how you tempted the men to drill your ass and plunder it? Remember how, one by one, the men backed you in? Remember how they accidentally turned their oil drilling machine on and it began to rip your asshole a new one? Remember how it struck oil? Remember how the oil was really blood? Remember how much mess you made? Remember how much you bled all over the blueprints? Remember how this pretty much ruined Bayside's attempts at getting rich because they didn't photocopy the plans? Remember how the entire school held a big party and lined up to one by one kick you in the nuts? Remember how they sold T-shirts and made money off your name? Remember how you got revenge by exposing kids to "laughing" gas? Remember you forgot to load the n2o? Remember how they were laughing at you and not with you? You sure were a muppet back then!

04th June 2005 - 12:15:49 PM
14297 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember how the school's budget meant they had to cancel sex ed? Remember in your sexual frustration you asked Belding to "do" something about it? Remember how he taught your ass to sing to the many tunes of Frankie Goes to Hollywood? Remember how Belding replaced sex ed with a pirated tape of Teen Wolf? Remember how much the Teen Wolf was seduced by the hot blonde? Remember how you assumed when she escaped out of frame, she'd escaped for more hot and hairy bestial wolf love? Remember how much you screamed ZOINKS! as you sure the wolf howling at the blonde's tits? Remember how you came all over the TV from 15 yards away? Remember how you damaged the only TV in the state? Remember how it couldn't be fixed? Remember how you ruined the class? Remember how they tied you up to some trees & tempted wolves to come over to you as the meaningless carcus you are? Remember how you the idea of hot wolfal love began to turn you on? Remember how the wolves bit you off and you nearly bled to death? Assclown.

04th June 2005 - 10:49:23 AM
14296 : Maxwell Nerdstrom
Hey Screech, remember the school prom? Remember how you were unable to get a date? Remember how Zack was going with Kelly, Slater with Jessie, and even I had a date, but you couldn't get one because you were so worthless? Remember how Belding told you to cheer up and said you could go as his date? Remember how you had to borrow your dad's old wedding tux from the 70s? Remember how everyone laughed at you and started calling you names when, on prom night, you turned up in your brown corduroy tuxedo with huge lapels and flared trousers, with Belding leading you by the hand onto the dance floor? Remember how Belding said "Don't you listen to them, you look hot" and started to do the lambada with you? Remember how aroused you were by Belding grinding his crotch against you, and you pitched a noticable erection, which Belding kept fondling? Remember how the two of you were voted "king and queen" of the prom, with you as the queen? Remember how Belding whispered in your ear, "time to consumate the marriage, BITCH" and dragged you out into the janitor's closet, where he proceeded to have violent, unprotected buttsex with you for a full hour? Remember how afterwards, you were staggering down the corridor when you heard strange sounds coming from the nurse's office, so you went to investigate? Remember how you burst in and found Zack and Slater fucking on the bed? Remember how you said "ZOINKS!!!" and your erection shot through the fly of your trousers and fired your love goo all over the two of them? Remember how they were pretty pissed off and held you down on the bed and proceeded to swordfight inside your already well-ravaged asshole? Remember how afterwards you wearily climbed into your limo, only to find Milo the janitor there, who forcibly sodomized you all the way home? Remember how, by the end of the evening, your asshole was hanging open like a Chinaman's sleeve? ZOINKS!!

03rd June 2005 - 03:44:05 PM
14290 : RememberWhen
Hey screech, remember Jessie's stepbrother Eric? Remember how dark & evil he was? Remember you used to rub cocks with him whilst plotting the downfall of Zach/Slater? Remember how Eric made you his NY Bi'atch? Remember how he destroyed Slater's car and you took the fall? Remember how he put in you in a bunch of tyres? Remember how the darkness reminded you the way belding used to do it to you? Remember how Zach/Slater punched the snot of you for no real reason? Remember how you got Eric back by kicking him in the nuts? Remember how he stripped you naked and threw you into the girls locker room? Remember how the girls laughed at your scarny body? Remember how much it hurt to see Lisa uncontrollably slap the floor in jest at your puny muscles? Remember how she pissed herself and couldn't stop laughing? Remember how this laughing was heard in the males locker rooms? Remember how they joined in to laugh? Remember how it was all taped & you became a laughing stock for 3 generations? You sure got screwed that time!

03rd June 2005 - 03:31:57 PM
14289 : RememberWhen
Hey screech, remember the episode where if you failed a test by an obnoxious teacher, you wouldn't be able to go on a class fieled trip. Remember how Belding's brother Rod took over? Remember how he was called Rod for a reason? Remember how Belding introduced you to Rod as the local nerd with Hasselhoff hair? Remember how Belding instructed you to bend over and you did it without questioning? Remember how Rod began to ram you on 3 non-consequtive occasions? Remember how Belding gave you a reach around? Remember how they threw you out of the room with no clothes and covered in goo? Remember how all 6 students of Bayside gathered around you and laughed their asses off at your pitaful attempts to get better grades? Remember how you tried killing yourself by throwing yourself off the top flight of stairs? Remember how it failed because there was only 1 flight of stairs in the entire school and it didn't go anywhere? Remember how you wandered into the kindergarden school and got promptly arrested and jailed? Idiot

03rd June 2005 - 03:23:07 PM
14288 : RememberWhen
Hey screech, Remember when you got struck by lightning? Remember how you were then able to see into the future? Remember how you saw flying cars, people wearing baking foil and people on mars? Remember how none of that shit came true? Remember how Zack made you bet on the winner of some horse race? Remember how he lost all his money? Remember the pain he inflicted on your tiny, puny and weak ass? Remember how he made his money back by selling you to the horse track to help the horse's breed? Remember how this involved getting very anal with horses? Remember how sore your stupid ass became? Remember how the track manager heard about your talents and used to jolt you with his electric cow rod? Remember how he used to stick it firmly between your but cheeks? Remember the mess it created all over your pants? Remember how the cow rod was electified and this was how you got your crappy foresight powers in the first place? Remember how much the kids laughed at you being prodded like the cheap male whore you are?

03rd June 2005 - 03:17:40 PM
14287 : RememberWhen
Remember when Lisa's dad gave her a credit card? Remember how she went overboard and her payment was due so she had to find a way to earn some money? Remember how you spent years accumlating money for such an occasion? Remember how you earnt this money from loaning your ass to Belding and every other teacher to purposley ram? Remember how you bought Lisa? Remember how she promised to suck you off? Remember how she lead you to a dark room? Remember you felt someone sucking you off? Remember when they put the lights on it was nothing more than a vaccum cleaner? Remember how your dick got stuck? Remember how Lisa remarked "It'd be a cold day in hell before she sucked you off?" as she counting the money in her hand? Remember how much of an ass you felt? Remember how you had to walk around school in a skirt for a whole month to hide the vaccum cleaner? Remember how Zack sold you to the chess club as a girl who would do Anal? remember how you loved every second of it? Remember how diseased your ass became?

03rd June 2005 - 03:09:21 PM
14286 : RememberWhen
Remember when Jessie got hooked on no'doz? Remember how she exclaimed "I'm so exicted... I'm so excited.. I'm so scared!"? Remember how she stole these lines from you when she overheard you exclaim the same exact words to Zack before he introduced his penis to your ass? Remember how much milky goodness he spewed all over your rectum? Remember how Zack was gonna get transfered to Stansbury but got James with a fake mushtache to get him out of trouble? Remember how James used to tickle your dick with that same exact mustache? Remember how the 'tache used to come off his face unexpectely and James/Zack couldn't keep a straight face? Remember how you came all over James' face to glue that fake tashe to his rather old, weather-beaten face? Remember how this meant you couldn't go to your favored college and you had to go to the same college as Zack/Slater and endure months of unprotected buttsex with that overweight "gym" teacher? You sure got screwed that time!

03rd June 2005 - 10:46:18 AM
14284 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember when you guest-starred on tv's Happy Days? Remember how much you wondered why a 40-y/o guy (the Fonz) hung around with teenagers? Remember how, one night, he showed you by riding your ass like his prized motorcycle & how he told you he rode Marion Cunningham? Remember how much you liked licking his meat? Remember how you got the hots for Joanie? Remember how you got it on with her? Remember how you, in your drunken state, mistook Joanie for Chachi? Remember how much you soaked his face with your creamy mucass? Remember how he let you wear that stupid wrist braclet he always had on around your cock and let him ride you, repeadely? Oh wait... that was Robin Williams.. My mistake.

03rd June 2005 - 10:39:02 AM
14283 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember when ALF was a special guest on the show? Remember how Zack told you he was a puppet? Remember how you said you didn't believe him? Remember how upset you were at the very thought that your favorite ALF was a puppet? Remember you asked Zack to prove it by showing you how the "puppet" was operated? Remember how Zack yanked down your pants, turned you over and shoved his hand up your ass? Remeber he didn't lube up his hand? Remember how much it hurt? Remember how Zack said "This is how ALF works... by someone sticking their hand up its ass!" Remember how much of a dork you were? Remember how much the puppet operator busted you two and proceeded to butfuck your smiley ass with his meat and oodling at the top of his voice at how your ass was much better than ALFs? Remember how the producers cancelled the ALF show the next day because they found out you tried to dump your load in its backside? Remember how you ruined the only show you ever loved? Remember how ALF's operators beat you up?

03rd June 2005 - 06:12:34 AM
14280 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, Remember when you saw Teen Wolf and you got a hard on whenever you saw MJFox wolfing out? Remember how much you wanted to be in his place when Pamela Wells showed off her bra to Fox? Remember how you remember in a basketball match you thought you could get laid by wearing a Stile's Teen Wolf T-shirt and in full Teen Wolf costume? Remember how much of an idiot you looked? Remember how everybody thought you were just going through pubety? Remember how they played the song "Win in the End" and you thought it'd be cool to recreate the basketball dribbles that Fox did in that movie? Remember how nobody played along and it just looked like you were being really, really stupid by constantly giving the ball away? Remember how the other players beat you up after school and came all over your teen wolf costume? Remember how it cost $300 to get it all out? Remember how you had to sell you're ass to Belding to earn money? Remember how you forgot to collect the money but kept going back for more?

03rd June 2005 - 06:04:46 AM
14279 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, Remember that time when the school had its Karate championship and you thought it would be cool to dress up as Daniel Laruso from the movie Karate Kid? Remember how much of an idiot you looked in the kata suit that was one size too big for you? Remember how it was the smallest size they had? Remember how much you taped the end music "You're the best around" and played it when it was your time to fight? Remember how you, in the first round, your opponent broke your kneecaps? Remember how Belding took you to your room and played the "You're the best around" on the loud speakers with him squeezing his dick in your ass? Remember the loud squishing noises? Remember how the tune kept blaring "You're the best, around" whenever Belding pounded you? Remember how this kinda reminded you of that scene when Miyagi healed Laurso's knee in a similar fashion? Remember how you got back in the competition & tried to do the Crane Kick? Remember how it didn't work and you ended up in hospital for 3 weeks?

02nd June 2005 - 08:09:18 AM
14083 : RememberWhen
(from below)
Hey Screech, remember how he licked and enjoyed it? Remember how you exploded all over his face? Remember how Belding's wife came into the room and saw you two? Remember the shock on her face? Remember how she was like 6 months pregnant and you got a real big hard-on? Remember how she allowed you to systematically punish her entry hole? Remember how you remembered 6 months ago doing this? Remember how the kid was really yours and not Beldings? Remember how angry Belding was when he found out that his bastard son was in fact your spawn? Remember how he sold your sister on the black market? Remember how, in a few months time, she returned as Tori Spelling? Remember how much you wanted to screw her when she returned? Remember how you forgot she was your sister? God you sure were an idiot back then.

02nd June 2005 - 08:02:04 AM
14082 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember when you lot went to Hawaii and Zack got a new girlfriend? Remember how bitchy she was to you? Remember how Kelly was in heat and would take anything in? Remember how she hooked up with some little kid? Remember how you wish it was you instead? Remember how, in your petculance, you screwed Zack's new girl? Remember how Zack found out and beat you within an inch of your life? Remember how Kelly found out and felt sorry for you? Remember how you felt like Kelly was gonna suck you off, but instead gave you that cardboard cut out of her from under Zack's bed? Remember how you snuck it home, cut out a hole between its legs and began to repeadily screw it? Remember how you forgot that you had mistakenly walked into Belding's room with the cardboard cut-out and was pummilng Belding's ass instead? Remember how Belding looked at the cut-out after you finished and remarked "I haven't tasted kelly before" and began licking your spew from the cardboard cut out hole you made in the picture of kelly?

02nd June 2005 - 07:24:58 AM
14081 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember when everybody decided to do a murder mystery weekend? Remember how you dressed up as the French maid? Remember how comfortable the dress felt against your oily, greasy skin? Remember how Belding paid you to clean his room and whenever you bended over you got to feel his thick one up your pipes? Remember how Zack had a fake moustache which made him look a member of YCMA? Remember Slater's smoking pipe and how much you wish he was smoking your dick instead? Remember how everybody got real scared when somebody was murdered for real? Remember how they brought in TV's Columbo? Remember how scruffy he looked? Remember how he asked you tons of questions? Remember he kept saying "Just one more thing"? Remember how this "one more thing" lead to you being alone with him in his room? Remember how he took out his glass eye and precedded to let you fill up his eye socket with your cock? Remember how bony it felt? Remember how he used this as evidence against you and you got framed for murder? Idiot

02nd June 2005 - 06:40:40 AM
14080 : RememberWhen
(from below...)

Remember how you were left there with no means of escape? Remember how, when you thought everybody had disappeared, you got out only to be confronted by a load of school children? Remember how they covered their eyes? Remember how much of a hardon you got from all their stares? Remember how you came, unexpedely, all over some fat kid? Remember how you were thrown in prision of 30 days for publically flashing? Remember how the school never went swimming again and you became the social priar that you remain today? Remember how much of an ass you felt when your picture was splashed on the front cover of all the local newspapers as "Fat kid takes it on the face from local flasher?" - remember how the picture captured the spew covered all over the fat kid? Remember how, in the picture, he sorta looked like chunk from the Goonies doing his trademark "truffle shuffle"? Remember how much you loved that scene and posted it on your wall? Remember how much of your spew you deposited on that picture?

02nd June 2005 - 06:34:26 AM
14079 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember when the entire school went swimming? Remember how much you enjoyed watching the guys get changed in front of you? Remember how much you tried to hide your pecker as it stedily grew erect at the sight of Slater's tight Mexican ass? Remember how he smelt of colone? Remember how much you want to buttfuck Zach's blonde ass too? Remember when all the guys saw all the girls in their swimwear? Remember how hard every guy got at the sight of Kelly in tight swimwear? Remember how everybody got in the pool? Remember how you tried to rub yourself against the guy's todgers? Remember how you in your efforts you forgot you couldn't swim? Remember how everybody laughed at you? Remember how you farted underwater? Remember how much it stunk the air? Remember how the guys were pissed because Belding had to evacuate the pool because of your stinky underwater fart? Remember how the guys ripped off your shorts and threw you in the pool totally naked? (Continued above)

01st June 2005 - 04:07:48 PM
14069 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember how in the prank wars against valley you stole their pig and ate it? Remember how they responded by setting off stink pheromen bombs during gym and all the girls and guys were in the middle of a field with only towels on? Remember how they all suddenly got it on in front of you and you were the only one left holding his piece? Remember how you tried to jump into Slater's big manly arms but he knocked you out for 4 hours? Remember how when you came to you were in Valley's school, kidnapped - and was being anally ratified by their new mascot... an elephant? Remember how no-one came to save you? Remember how Valley seem to lose every pointless wrestling match from then on? Remember you knew why? It was because they were having too much fun laughing at your poor undeserving ass being rammed by an elephant... Remember how you escaped by drugging the elephant with the same phermones - remember how it got incredibily horny? Remember how much you paid the price for your stupidity? Remember how many laughs Valley had at your expense?

01st June 2005 - 04:01:36 PM
14068 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, remember how scrawny you were? Remember how you ran like a girl with your arms all over the place? Remember how you really, really wanted to get bigger muscles and decided to take Slater's after-school class and even took steroids to get the muscles? Remember how Slater fooled you into believing the steroids were making you a muscle-bound freak when, in fact, they were slowly turning you into a girl? Remember how the hormone replacement tablets made you very open to suggestion? Remember how Slater inserted all sorts of gym equipment up your rectum? Remember how he made you wear a liotard to school? Remember how tight it felt against your sore ass? Remember how much you hated your dick being in the way and got yourself drunk in humilation? Remember how, in your drunken state, you tried to cut it off but failed because your muscles ached too much? Remember how you collapsed and when you awoke Slater was depositing his load all over your face? Remember how sticky it tasted? Remember how you flushed the hormone tablets down the loo but kept going to his class for extra lessons, despite the fact you hardly grew a single muscle and remained a scrawny ass for the rest of your life?

01st June 2005 - 03:47:16 PM
14067 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, Remember when you finally got a girl in the shape of Tori Spelling? Remember that screwed up face she had? Remember how much of a nerd she looked? Remember how she sorta looked similar to you? Remember how she felt when you first zoinked her up her tight anus and pussy? Remember how you thought of Slater each and every time? Remember how you got her pregant? Remember how a few weeks later your reclusive dad turned up and told you that Spelling was in fact your sister? Remember how much you hurlled down the toilet? Remember how you kept screwing her anyway? Remember how you remarked .. "You know if I was Luke, I'd bang Leia" and it came true? Remember how your demon son tried to get you killed? Remember how you had to kill the only son by wearing making him watch reruns of the munsters? Remember how much of a hardon you got whenever Frank Gwyane got on the screen and had that funny expression on his face? Remember how it kinda reminded you of Spelling whilst you were zoinking her every which way but lose?

01st June 2005 - 03:40:43 PM
14066 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, Remember when Lisa, Kelly and Jessie got all really drunk at your place and started to get all undressed? Remember how they were all lying your bed, aching to get zoinked by you? Remember how tight Kelly looked, how juicy Lisa looked and how anal Jessie was? Remember how you couldn't get a stiffy? Remember how Kelly asked "I wish slater was here?" Remember how the very mention of the word of Slater got you raging hard? Remember how your pecker burst all over the girls without you even going in? Remember how your premature ejaculation screams were heard by your reclusive Dad? Remember how he came up there and asked what was going on? Remember how you turned up the next day thinking you were the big man on campus for "doing" the three girls? Remember how the girls told everyone over the main school audio system that you were the worst ever lay in history, bar none? Remember how you cried to Belding the next day? Remember how he promised to fix things? Remember how hard he punished your ass? Remember the announcement he made to the school of how good you were? Remember how embrassed you were? Remember how you got beat up by the guys for the lazy gay drunk you are?

01st June 2005 - 03:35:35 PM
14065 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, Remember when you saw an episode of Star Trek:The Next Generation and thought it'd be cool to make your own Data like robot to pleasure you anally? Remember how the actor who played Data found out and sued your pants off literally? Remember how you begged and grovelled at his feet, telling him how you'd do anything rather than get sued? Remember how he disappeared for a few minutes and returned in full Data costume and began to ram your ass with his penis? Remember how painful it was and how you cried? Remember when he quipped, in his data-voice, "I think I just experienced my first emotion?" wiping away the milky dross away from your puny ass?

14052 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech,Remember when Zack and Slater beat you up for no reason? Remember how this happened in every episode? Remember how one time, in music, they stuck a flute up your ass? Remember it was really a clarinet but they didn't care? Remember how you farted and it started playing music? Remember when Zack heard it and thought it would be a good intro into the rather lame Minni Vanilli rip-off band Zack Attack? Remember how every episode you'd hear that fart on the loudspeakers and get the runs? Remember how you'd run to Casey Kasem asking him to clean your butt? Remember how he said no way but did it anyway? Remember how he used to stick up a microphone up your butt and it was live? Remember how you farted and it was broadcast around the world? Remember how it caused the breakup of Zack Attack, costing Zach and Slater millions? Remember how Zach/Slater were pissed off and decided to beat you up, again? Remember how awful you felt when they bought the copyrights and made millions on ebay on your runnings?

01st June 2005 - 12:29:29 PM
14051 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, Remember that time when you dressed up as Robocop? Remember how Zack tried to get you to date his Fridge? Remember how there wasn't a metal part to cover your penis, but loved sticking it into things? Remember how one time Zach and Slater got together to get you to stick it in a dating lottery machine - promising it would make it land on a certain number. Remember how they didn't tell you that you were the prize? Remember how that black chess guy with the crocky voice won? Remember how he took you outback to play with your Robocop dick? Remember how he stuck it in a blender and switched it, ripping it off and showed it to the science class the next morning claiming it to be an alien fetus? Boy, you sure were stupid in those days.

01st June 2005 - 12:19:20 PM
14050 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, Remember when you had to stand in for David Hasselhoff for an episode of Knight Rider, and you thought it would be cool to drive to school with the obviousily gay KITT? Remember how every cool Jock used to drive a KITT replica to school and you thought it would make you cool? Remember how the jocks were secretly gay and the KITT replicas were a symbol of this? Remember how they forced you to suck KITTs exhaust pipe to the utter delight of KITT? Remember how KITT spewed oil into your mouth and all over your body? Remember how you choked on the fluid but couldn't help sticking your dick into the exhaust (to find out what it felt like) Remember how Hasselhoff caught you with your pants down pleasuring his on-screen partner and systematically beat you up then forced you to cum into his mouth? Remember how you thought this would be a great way to get onto Baywatch and be around all those red shorts... remember how you enjoyed watching Hasselhoff run in slow motion? Remember how you badly you came?

01st June 2005 - 12:13:15 PM
14049 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, Remember when Zack told you to be his drug courier for the episode where Jessie got hooked on no doz? Remember how you asked "where am I gonna put it?" - Remember how Zack plundered your tight gay ass and rammed up a few G's up there for safe keeping - remember how he dumped you in Columbia - having to orally and anally pleasure the local townspeople to strike a big score with the local drugs baron - remember how when you finally got back into the states you were probed for hours on end by US Customs but found nothing? Remember how Zack paid you $1 for your trouble and sent you back to Columbia to get more? Remember how insulted you were at being paid $1 and decided to set up your own drug ring yourself? Remeber how, though, that it ended in tragedy when Zack paid a Greek "hitman" to "do" you for the next 3 months repeatedly in the ass? Remember how good it felt? Remember how you broke Zack's drug ring by telling Belding and the press? Remember how he was on it and raped you for telling?

01st June 2005 - 12:04:57 PM
14048 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, Remember the time when you had to dress up as an Alien to get the school into the press and to help Zach make money? Remember that evil FBI/CIA guy who wanted to take you away to be probed and analyzed by the USA's best? Remember how you really, really wanted to go - but Zach et al wouldn't let you? Remember how the FBI guy used to hand you secret tapes and his private phone number? Remember how he used to give you information regarding Watergate and gave you the secret code of "Deep Throat"? Remember how some really old guy got all the press? Remember how you contacted the authorities to find out more - but they laughed in your face telling you how he was never an FBI agent? Remember how you later found out he was your long-lost uncle who tried to get it on with you when you were younger? Remember how stupid you felt when you went off with him anyway to find out if you were really an alien and just got a bumfull of navy filf? You sure got screwed that time!

01st June 2005 - 11:57:56 AM
14047 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, Remember the time when you had to dress up as Sineod O Conner? Remember how exicted you were? Remember how you enjoyed being dressed up as a girl in a felt skirt - remember how you jacked off in the girls toilets, but forgot it was the guys toilets? Remember how the guys promptly raped your ass of all its worldly goodness? Remember how you ran off crying into the hands of Tori? Remember how firm her abs were and how prominet her adams apple was? Remember how she asked you to suck on her cock? Remember how it was all filmed on camera and you were the laughing stock of school? You sure got screwed that time!

01st June 2005 - 11:52:25 AM
14046 : RememberWhen
Hey Screech, Remember the episode when Kelly needed help with her homework and she was dating Zack? Remember when Zack got pissed when he found out she was with you night after night, studying into the late nights? Remember how upset he got when he found out she always wore her favorite cheerleading outfit - one she promised only ever to wear for Zack? Remember how fucking pissed off he was when he found her soiled panties in your locker? Remember how Zack got Belding to suspend you from class to be his desk jocky, remember how he used to get you to bend over and take it up the rear - Remember how Zack set about getting the geeky, spot-riddled Chess Club to go against you and lead them into a sneak, night time attack on your home? Remember how they were armed with baseball bats, golf clubs and chess sets? Remember how they snuck in and found you masterbating into Kelly's panties and then beat and raped the sh1t out of you, repeatedly. Remember how Kelly realised you were gay and kicked you in the nuts?

18th May 2005 - 07:31:18 PM
13585 : Fagbusters

I HAVE RETURNED, YOU VILE FUCKING SCUMBAGS.
YOU'VE MANAGED TO OFFEND THE ALMIGHTY AGAIN... IT'S TIME TO TOSS YOUR SALADS WITH HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE.

LET'S GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT... OR AS STRAIGHT AS IT CAN GET IN THIS PASTEL-COLORED EQUIVALENT OF A WEST HOLLYWOOD ANAL CUM DUMPSTER.
THE DISGUSTING BEING KNOWN TO THE WORLD (OR AT LEAST THIS ANALLY DILATED ONE) AS "PRINCESS PEUSSIE", WAS ACTUALLY A THIRD-RATE NERD WHO DID TIME IN THE HALLWAYS OF BAYSIDE HIGH UNDER HIS CHRISTIAN NAME OF LESTER POSEY. AS NO CHILD WANTS TO GO THROUGH HIS PUBLIC EDUCATION EXPERIENCE WITH A NAME THAT HAS TEN BILLION POTENTIAL METHODS TO MOCK IT, YOUNG LESTER, WHO DESPITE HIS THIN, NERDY FRAME HAD VERY LITTLE INTELLIGENCE AND WIT TO SPEAK OF, DECIDED TO BESTOW UPON HIMSELF THE QUESTIONABLE CANONIZATION OF "PRINCE", AFTER HIS ALREADY MENTIONED LOVE OF PURPLE RAIN. AND LET US NOT FORGET THE SCENE IN PURPLE RAIN WHERE JEROME TOSSES A CRAZY BITCH INTO A DUMPSTER... A SCENE THAT NOW SCREAMS LIKE AN ANALLY-RAPED TODDLER OF IRONY.

OBVIOUSLY, FAGGOTS, LESTER'S ATTEMPT TO COME UP WITH A SWEET NAME, AND THE ACCOMPANYING EYELINER AND ASCOTS, DIDN'T HAVE THEIR INTENDED RESULTS.
THE BAYSIDE GANG, ONCE THEY FINALLY STOPPED LAUGHING AT "PRINCE'S" SWEET NEW NAME, BEGAN CALLING HIM "PRINCE POSEY", TO SUCH A DEGREE THAT ONE WONDERS IF BEING CALLED "MO-LESTER" WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SUCH A BAD THING AFTER ALL...
PRINCE POSEY TRIED TO FIGHT BACK... BUT BEING THAT HE HAD A SEVERE SPEECH IMPEDIMENT THAT MADE HIM SOUND LIKE SLOTH FROM THE GOONIES, THAT ROUTE OBVIOUSLY WASN'T GOING TO WORK... AND IT DIDN'T.
ONE DAY, AS PRINCE POSEY WALKED DOWN THE HALLWAY AND SLATER WAS APPROACHING FROM THE OTHER DIRECTION, PRINCE, SEEING THE OBVIOUS SMIRK ON YOUNG A.C.'S FACE, STOPPED, FLIPPED SLATER THE DOUBLE BIRD, AND SCREAMED.
"SLATER RULES FER FUCKING SURE!"
THEN HE TURNED AROUND AND RAN FOR HIS LIFE... BUT SLATER CAUGHT HIM AND SLAPPED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM AND SET HIS ASCOT ON FIRE. MR. BELDING JUST WATCHED, ARMS CROSSED, AND LAUGHED THAT FAMOUS BELDING LAUGH.

WHAT FOLLOWED WAS AN UNPRECEDENTED DELUGE OF ABUSE AND DEGRADATION, WHICH HAS YET TO BE MATCHED, EVEN BY WATCHING "SAVED BY THE BELL:THE NEW CLASS" IN ITS ENTIRETY.

NATURALLY, THERE ARE MANY LEGENDS CONCERNING HIS CASTRATION AT THE HANDS OF HIS FELLOW BAYSIDE HIGH CLASSMATES AND THE SCHOOL'S FACULTY. THE FACTS WILL (HOPEFULLY) BE DEBATED BACK AND FORTH UNTIL THE END OF TIME. THIS ISN'T THAT STORY.
BUT WHAT IS KNOWN IS THAT, FOLLOWING THE SEPARATION OF PRINCE'S "CHURCH AND STATE", HE LAY IN A POOL OF BLOOD (AND ASSUREDLY, OTHER THINGS), SURROUNDED BY A MASS OF HUMANITY, ALL LAUGHING AT HIS CATASTROPHE.
ONE OF THEM BROKE FROM THE CROWD AND APPROACHED HIM, AND SPOKE.
"PRINCE HAS A PUSSY! PRINCESS PUSSY!"
AND THEN, IN A MOCKERY OF THE EX-PRINCE'S SPEECH IMPEDIMENT, THE STUDENT CURSED HIM WITH THE NAME HE WOULD FOREVER CARRY FROM THAT MOMENT.
"PRIIINCEEEESS PEEEUUUSSSSIEEEEE!"

THAT STUDENT'S NAME WAS KURT STEINBERG.

THE END, FAGGOTS. PREPARE TO BURN.

15th May 2005 - 07:09:25 PM
13554 : Maxwell Nerdstrom
Hey Screech, remember the time Mr. Belding came into your class and said he was putting on a magic show, and was looking for an assistant? Remember how overjoyed you were, because you idolized Belding and wanted to spend lots of time with him? Remember how he asked for volunteers to put their hands up, and you puts yours up just as high as you could? Remember how he said 'OK Screech, meet me in the gym after class', and you almost spooged in your pants?

Remember how you went to the gym after class, and Belding was there with Zack and Slater, who he said would be supervising? Remember how you immediately sported an erection when you saw Belding in his magician's tuxedo? Remember how he said it was time for the first trick, and he needed to give you a blindfold? Remember how you were suprised when Zack and Slater grabbed you by the arms and pinned you to the ground? Remember how Belding said he was going to give you a 'chocolate blindfold', and he dropped trow, squatted over your face, and laid a nice meaty log over both of your eyes? Remember how the bacteria from the shit caused your eyes to swell up? Remember how Belding, Slater & Zack said they'd "wash it out" and then pissed all over your face, causing your eyes to swell up so much you couldn't see anything at all?

Remember how, just as you started to get your sight back, you heard a voice say "hey there, snowflake", and you were able to make out Milo the Janitor standing over you? Remember how Belding said "time for Milo to use his magic wand", and as your sight returned, you saw that Milo was sporting an enormous erection, and they had painted the helmet of his penis white, so that it looked like a magic wand? Remember how Milo said "I dunno Belding, it looks like Screech might want to try some 'sword swallowing'" and without warning he thrust his Pringles can-sized cock deep into your mouth? Remember how Belding, Zack and Slater stood there masturbating, and then Slater stuck his dick up Belding's ass, and he bent over, and Zack stuck his dick in his mouth, spit-roasting him? Remember how Milo exclaimed "oh shit, here cum de MAGIC!!!!!" and blew an enormous load down your throat? Remember how Slater, Belding and Zack then proceeded to blow their loads down your throat? Remember how your stomach was so full of jizz you thought it was going to explode, and you passed out? Remember how, when you came to, most of the school was stood around you, pointing and laughing, because I had called them all there to point and laugh at you? LOL!!!!!!1!!

PS fuck off Peussie, you shit-sucking monkey rapist

Clip from "Dustin Diamond Teaches Chess"

2011-06-02T22:24:00.001-07:00

Dustin Diamond oozes homosexuality in this video from his "Dustin Diamond Teaches Chess" video:

Conversation between Screech and Coworker

2011-06-02T22:20:00.000-07:00

Screech and Random Man

2011-06-02T22:19:00.001-07:00

Screech and Slater at the soccer stadium

2011-06-02T22:18:00.000-07:00

Conversation Between Lisa Turtle and Dustin Diamond

2011-06-02T22:14:00.000-07:00

Here is a nice video of Dustin Diamond and Lisa Turtle bantering back and forth:

Homoerotic conversation between Dustin Diamond and Another British fan

2011-06-02T22:11:00.000-07:00

Check out this nice video of a conversation between Dustin Diamond and another horny British fan!!!

Quick Questions For Rick Bawls

2011-06-02T21:47:00.000-07:00

These are questions that I asked my stalker, Rick Bawls,over at the now-defunct Dustin Diamond Love Forum:

Posted: Jul 28 2010, 04:52 AM
Hey Rick, please confirm that you spend more time masturbating while thinking about Randy Constan and homeless men than you do looking for employment. You truly are a welfare queen, aren't you?

Posted: Jul 28 2010, 09:28 PM
Rick, remember that time when you got kicked out of "The Attic," your favorite dance club, after you got caught watching random dudes pissing at the urinal in the bathroom? Remember when you were thrown into an alley and landed in a puddle of barf and urine? Remember when you woke up some homeless men who started yelling at you? Remember when the homeless man doubled-up on you? Remember how much you enjoyed their smelly cocks? Remember when one of the homeless men fired his diseased seed into your mouth and said, "Here's a little HIV juice for Rick!" Remember when you contracted AIDS and have cut your life expectancy by 35 years? Remember how much this turns you on because you are a deranged bug chaser? You sure had a fucked-up experience that time!

Posted: Jul 29 2010, 06:14 AM
Hey Rick, please confirm that you are the biological son of serial killer and necrophiliac Jeffrey Dahmer.

Posted: Jul 30 2010, 05:26 AM
Rick, remember when your dad, Jeffrey Dahlmer, killed all of those people and had sex with their corpses? Please confirm that you feltched your dad's semen out of the corpses after he was done. You sure were one sick, deranged faggot that time!

Posted: Jul 30 2010, 11:10 PM
Rick, please confirm that the "n" key on your computer keyboard no longer works because you ruined it when you blew your little load on it while you were masturbating vigorously the other day when you posted under your 20 different logins on Facebook.

Posted: Aug 10 2010, 09:21 PM
Rick Bawls, you fucking faggot, I am going to fire my seed down your throat after you finish sucking off the 17 bums in front of me in line at the gloryhole.

Posted: Aug 11 2010, 08:03 AM
Rick Bawls, how many terabytes of gay porn are stored on your computer's hard drive? Remember that time you uncle caught you having sex with the little holes in the serial port of your 1992 Packard Bell? Remember when your uncle molested you when he caught you? Remember how that was your happiest childhood memory? Your life sure sucks, Rick!

Posted: Aug 16 2010, 10:33 PM
Rick Bawls, please confirm that you moved to Canada in 1991 after the arrest of your biological father, Jeffrey Dahmer? Remember how you lived in Canada with your uncle Cletus, a convicted child molester who was permitted to molest children at will with no repercussions due to the criminal-friendly laws of Canada? Remember how your uncle was also a cowardly draft dodger and had moved to Canada during the Vietnam War so that he could avoid mandatory conscription into the U.S. army? Remember when Cletus woke you up one night by shoving a sweaty jock strap into your mouth and then viciously raped you? Remember how that was the single most homoerotic moment of your life and you still think about it while pleasuring yourself today? Remember how Uncle Cletus ass-raped every day until you moved away to become a janitor at the shopping mall? Remember how his ass-rapings permanently damaged your colon and now you have to use a colostomy bag to take a dump? You've sure had a shitty life!

Posted: Aug 17 2010, 11:01 PM
Rick Bawls, remember when you were a teenager and started worked for that company that laundered dirty cloth baby diapers? Remember how this was a dream job for you because you got to smell shit and piss all day? Remember how you would rub the soiled diapers on your face while jerking off? Remember when you were caught masturbating while rolling around on the floor on top of several dirty diapers? Remember when you were fired, ending your 15 year career at the company? Remember when you were arrested for lewd conduct? Remember how disappointed that made you? Remember how less disappointed you were when you shared a cell with an HIV+ homosexual Puerto Rican prisoner who would pump you full of his diseased seed every night? You sure were perverted that time!

Posted: Aug 18 2010, 07:09 AM
Rick Bawls, please confirm that you are currently driving to Hunstville, AL to meet up with Antoine Dodson, the guy at 1:00 in this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZKXAFqdlC4

Posted: Aug 18 2010, 05:34 PM
Rick Bawls, remember when your father, serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer, would murder male prostitutes and drill holes in the the heads of their corpses? Remember when you would eat out the murdered victims' asses after they had died? Remember how your dad would then have sex with the corpses while you cheered him on? You sure are one sick fuck!

Posted: Aug 19 2010, 12:45 AM
Rick Bawls, did you produce this video for Antoine Dodson, the object of your homosexual affections? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrWu13Uh2Yw

You and Antoine make such a cute couple. I bet he'll really give it to you right in the ass in front of Antoine's masturbating homies when you visit him in the projects!

Posted: Aug 19 2010, 07:12 PM
Remember when I sent out that evite to let people know about the gay dumpster party in the alley behind the McDonald's on 5th Street last week? Rick Bawls RSVPed for himself, Timmy Woods, the fake John Dado, the fake Kurt Steinberg, Tiffany Powell, and Megan Stonehouse? However, Rick Bawls was the only one of that group to show up, although he claimed that the spirit of his imaginary friends were there with him. Rocco and I made sure that Rick felt some real, not imaginary, pain in his groin as we both to town on his tiny nuts with those rusty car antennas! Rick deserved this for causing me to over-order Taco Bell tacos for the get-together. Normally I order enough tacos ahead of time so that we can each eat three during the gay orgy. However, this time some of the food went to waste! I almost gave some of the extra tacos to a bum, but instead I decided to throw them down the storm sewer.

Remember when Rick Bawls started coughing up blood while his balls were being whipped and then thanked Rocco and me for giving him the most pleasurable experience of his life? Rick sure was a sick fuck that time!

Posted: Aug 19 2010, 08:51 PM
I liked when Rick's Velcro Wallet fell out of his pants while we were whipping his nuts and a picture of his father, Jeffrey Dahmer, sodomizing a black mans corpse could be seen. I was amazed at the amount of semen that coated the picture! Rick you owe Kurt $25.00 American Dollars for those taco's that went to waste! And don't even think about trying to pay in that Canadian Monopoly Money!!!

ROCCO

Posted: Aug 19 2010, 09:42 PM
Remember how it was a pink "Hello Kitty" wallet? What a homo! And that photograph was absolutely coated in about 1/2 inch of dried semen. I wonder why Rick Bawls didn't get extra copies made so he could jerk off onto a new copy of the photograph from time to time. Maybe Rick gets turned on when he sees cum stains on that photograph?

Posted: Sep 7 2010, 08:04 PM
Rick Bawls, please confirm that you have permanent grooves on your face that formed over the years as you attempted to roughly wipe all of the skidmarks off your face after random dudes squatted over you and dropped shit logs onto your face? You must have rubbed so hard that you permanently damaged layers of skin. Nice going, shithead!

Posted: Sep 13 2010, 04:28 AM
Rick Bawls, remember when you flunked out of high school after your junior year because you failed your Health class? Remember how Health class grade was based on the following percentages:
10% - class participation
25% - final examination
15% - mandatory research paper
50% - cock length

Remember how you poorly you performed on the cock length portion of the class because your 1-cm long cock was so small, resulting in an F for the course?

Man, Canada sure has a fucked-up grading system!

Posted: Sep 14 2010, 06:24 AM
Rick Bawls, which swing technique do you prefer when being whipped in your tiny balls with a car antenna? Do you prefer a level stroke similar to the batting swing of a line drive baseball hitter? Or do you prefer a rising stroke similar to the way one would swing a golf club?

Posted: Sep 16 2010, 06:35 AM
Rick, remember when you legally changed your name from "Rich Dahmer" to "Rick Bawls" after your dad, serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer, was arrested and exposed as a homosexual serial killer? Remember when you drove to the courthouse to change your name and couldn't stop thinking about thinking about cock and thought to yourself that you would love to suck on some hairy and sweaty balls at that moment? Is that why you chose "Bawls" as your new last name? I bet you initially were going to change your name to "Rick Balls" but you thought that was too obviously queer and instead settled on the last name "Bawls." You sure are a faggot!

Posted: Sep 16 2010, 11:05 PM
Rick Bawls, why did you plan the 9/11 attacks? You are one sick fuck!

Posted: Sep 22 2010, 11:05 PM
Rick Bawls, is it true that men in Canada are known for their tiny cocks? Please confirm that a large influx of baby dicked men occurred during the 1960s and 1970s as Canada allowed military draft dodgers to enter the country and gay up Canada. Please confirm that your 1/4 cm long micro-penis is considered to be large by Canadian standards. However, with your microscopic cock, you must feel grossly inadequate when you partake in the gay rest stop scene in the United States!

Posted: Sep 23 2010, 02:00 AM
Rick Bawls probably also flosses his teeth with random pubes he finds on the floor of the rest stop, as is customary in Canada.

Posted: Sep 23 2010, 11:18 PM
Rick Bawls, are faggots allowed to adopt children in Canada? Do you and your gay lover plan to adopt any kids? Is it true that Canada endorses molestation of male children by gay men as a necessary part of the learning and maturing process for boys? Man, Canada sure is a fucked-up country - I cannot believe that they give free reign to deviant queers such as yourself to molest children!

Posted: Sep 24 2010, 04:50 AM
Rick Bawls, how do you sleep when you are at your home in the bathroom stall at the rest stop? Have you installed a hammock or do you sleep right in the floor? Have you made a make-shift blanket from discarded soiled toilet paper? Do you use the toilet seat as a pillow? Does inhaling the stench from the piss and shit stains on the toilet seat help you drift off to sleep? How many men walk into an adjacent stall to take a piss all over the floor? I bet you're soaked with piss by the time you wake up the next morning!

Is it true that the janitor comes in to clean the men's room at 7:00 AM and sweeps pubes and other garbage from the floor under the door of your stall and onto your face?

Posted: Sep 25 2010, 04:13 AM
Rick Bawls, you have probably heard that baseball is America's national pastime. Please confirm that tossing a random stranger's salad is Canada's national pastime.

Posted: Sep 26 2010, 10:33 PM
Rick Bawls, please confirm that you have fallen in love with Rocco, Fagbusters, Dner, and me. Is it true that last month you were in your rest stop stall cracking one off while fantasizing that Rocco and I were spit-roasting you while Fagbusters and Dner took turns kicking you in the ribs and masturbating? Remember how you started moaning and the guy taking a piss at the urinal next to your bathroom stall became irate because you were interrupting his piss? Remember how he was a truck driver and was wearing cowboy boots? Remember when he kicked in the door on your bathroom stall and then kicked you right in the face with his boot? Remember when you started crying and he said he'd give you something to cry about and when shoved your face into the toilet in your stall and started viciously raping you? Remember how the toilet was clogged with several days worth of shit and piss from various drivers? Remember when you inhaled about a gallon of piss and turds as you struggled to breathe? Remember when everyone else in the bathroom started clapping and cheering him on? Remember when the truck driver thrusted harder and harder until he finally pulled out and blew a huge diseased load in your jew-fro? Remember when he then dragged you onto the floor area in front of the urinals? Remember how your ass was bleeding and your hot pink Hypercolor t-shirt was soaked with piss and diarrhea? Remember how a huge turd had dried and was stuck to your forehead? Remember when everyone started pissing on you for the next several minutes? Remember when a Mexican man said, "Hey, he's had enough. Let's dry him off!" Remember when the Mexican man dropped his pants and farted in your face? Remember when he said, "Hey mang, do you like how I just blow-dried your face with my fart?" Remember when several other dudes also ripped ass on you? Remember how the farts did not dry you off and actually made you more soaked than before because they were wet farts?

Remember how despite the violent nature of the attack, you loved every minute of it and have masturbated several times while thinking about when these random men did to you? You sure are a deviant and deranged faggot!

Posted: Sep 27 2010, 07:21 AM
Rick Bawls, have any of your many gay lovers ever used a shoe horn when sliding a table leg into your asshole?

Posted: Sep 30 2010, 06:25 AM
Rick Bawls, remember that time when you contracted the Bubonic plague when you were at the dumpster party behind the Burger King in downtown Toronto last year? Remember when two random dudes were doubling up on you and one of the dudes blew his load in your ass and then grabbed a sewer rat that was in the alley and shoved it up your ass? Remember how the sewer rat was scared when it was shoved up your ass and started clawing as it struggled to breath while trapped in your colon? Remember how much you enjoyed it as the sewer rat moved around inside you and you blew a couple loads with your tiny cock? Remember when the sewer rat eventually suffocated and you shit it out several hours later? Remember how the sewer rat was infected with many diseases, including rabies and the Bubonic plague? Remember when you became deathly ill several days later and told they homeless men in the alley where you were living at the time that you thought you were going to die? Remember how annoying you were being and they raped you completely against your will and farted right in your face and made you eat out their filthy assholes? Remember when a Canadian mountie eventually found you in the alley? Remember how you were asleep at the time? Remember how the mountie woke you up by letting his horse take a huge piss on you? Remember when the mountie then walked you past a house and turned a garden hose on you to clean you up? Remember when he eventually took you to a Canadian hospital for treatment? Remember how the Canadian universal health care program handled your treatment? Remember how glad you were that you lived in a country with "free" health care? Remember how less glad you were when the doctors gave you shots with rusty needles that had just been in a homosexual black crackhead's arm? Remember how you eventually survived the Bubonic plague but became infected with HIV and Ebola as a result of the rusty used needles? You sure had a shitty experience that time!

Posted: Oct 1 2010, 04:36 AM
Rick Bawls, please confirm that you are a child molester, you sick fuck! Is it true that child molestation is permitted and even encouraged in Canada? Remember when your landlord entered your apartment because your toilet was clogged and was dripping down to the floor below? Remember when your landlord noticed pictures of child porn on your computer and called the Canadian mounties to arrest you because she thought that the pictures were illegal? Remember when the mounties arrived and you found out that the pictures were perfectly legal in politically liberal Canada? Remember when you licked the mountie's asshole while he rubbed one out while looking at the child porn? Remember when the mountie blew his load on the floor and you licked it up? Remember when the mountie left and then you went over to your computer and downloaded hardcore gay porn and added it to your blog? Remember when you claimed that the pictures were of Rocco and me? Remember how you assumed that accusing Rocco and me of appearing in the gay porn on your blog gave you a "legitimate" excuse for denying your own latent homosexuality? Remember how you didn't fool anyone, as everyone has known for years that you are a raging queer? You sure were a dirty HIV+ child-molesting faggot that time!

Posted: Oct 1 2010, 04:59 PM
Rick Bawls, when do you think you will finally succumb to the deadly AIDS virus? You must have been anally infected with about 800 different strains by now, you nasty faggot!

Posted: Oct 5 2010, 08:47 AM
Rick Bawls, remember when you were in high school and your dad, Jeffrey Dahmer, would fire his demon seed into your asshole every night during an anal sex session? Remember how much you enjoyed having sex with your dad even though he refused to give you any reach-arounds? Remember that time when he anally impregnated you with a butt baby? Remember how mad that made your dad and he yelled at you and told you that you should have eaten greasy Taco Bell after he blew his load in your ass? Remember when he explained that Taco Bell food would give you diarrhea and the force by which your colon would expel the diarrhea would effectively abort any early stage anal fetuses growing in your asshole? Remember how your dad said he had no other option other than killing the butt baby himself? Remember when he took a coat hanger, unwound the metal, and then started jamming it up your ass in an effort to kill the butt baby? Remember how your dad lacerated your colon and caused your asshole to bleed all over the floor? Remember how mad that made your dad? Remember when he stabbed you in the eye with the coat hanger to teach you not to bleed on his precious floor? Remember how the butt baby eventually dropped out of your colon? Remember when your dad cooked the butt baby in a pot of boiling water and then you and he ate it for dinner? Remember how you are now permanently blind in your left eye and have to wear a diaper at all times as a result of your dad's actions during the abortion procedure? You sure learned not to get pregnant that time!

Posted: Oct 8 2010, 06:58 AM
Rick Bawls, please confirm that the third bathroom stall at the Toronto-area rest stop where you live doubles as a gloryhole. Is it true that hundreds of queers stick their cocks through the holes every day and you suck them off and swallow their loads? Is it true that you also drilled some big holes so that random dudes could stick their filthy sphincters up against the holes for you to toss their salads and lick their assholes clean after they have taking dumps? Do some dudes also fart right in your face while you are licking their dirty buttholes? How many men stick their cocks through the holes and piss on you while you are trying to take a nap? Man, you sure live a shitty life, you dirty fucking STD-ridden faggot!!!

Posted: Oct 17 2010, 07:56 AM
I demand that you answer Rocco's important questions, you Canadian cocksucker!! Also, please confirm that your winter igloo is made from ice blocks that are comprised of 90% piss and 10% fecal matter. I bet you enjoy licking the ice blocks in your igloo from time to time, don't you!!!! Do you even realize that you are comprising the structural integrity of your igloo when you lick the ice block? One day you are going to be crushed under a pile of worn down blocks of frozen piss and shit!

Posted: Oct 18 2010, 07:13 AM
Hey Rick Bawls, remember when you were in swim class in high school and had to shower naked at the end of class? Remember when everyone saw how tiny your cock was and started laughing? Remember when you blamed the cold water and said that your penis is normally huge? Remember when the swim teacher called you "Baby Dick Rick" and everyone started laughing even harder? Remember when the swim teacher started hi-fiving the other kids in the class as you cried in the showers? Remember how every day for the next two years the kids would chant "Baby Dick Rick" whenever you would walk down the school halls? Remember when you finally graduated from high school and were still distraught years later about the nickname and your tiny cock? Remember when you were searching the Internet for gay porn one day and discovered Randy Constan's homepage? Remember how you assumed that he was the one man almost as gay as you who could sympathize with your high school experience? Remember when you began visiting Randy's homepage and jerking off at the homoerotic pictures on that website? Remember how you continued this practice for the next 8 years until you discovered this forum? Remember how you are trying to wean yourself off of Randy Constan and lately have been vigorously jerking off while thinking about Rocco, Fagbusters, Dner, Assvomit, your dad, your uncle, and me? You sure are a demented Canadian faggot!!! Seek professional help immediately!

Posted: Oct 19 2010, 09:04 PM
Rick Bawls, what is your Halloween costume going to be this year? Please confirm that you are going to dress up a urinal again, just like you have done several times since you were a child. When was this childhood picture of you taken?

Posted: Oct 20 2010, 03:57 AM
Rick Bawls, do you remember that scene in "There's Something About Mary" where Chris Elliot told Ben Stiller that he needed to jerk off and lose his load before any big date so that his mind was clear? Please confirm that you follow your own pre-date ritual. Is it true that you shit your pants while on your way to a new date so that you feel relaxed and confident? Man, you are one demented faggot!

Posted: Oct 21 2010, 05:51 PM
Rick, remember when you celebrated your 12th birthday? Remember when you asked for a pinata at your birthday party? Remember how you invited kids from your school but nobody showed because they all hated you? Remember how the only people at your party were your parents and several homeless men who lived in the alleys near your home? Remember when you but on a blindfold and began swinging at the pinata with a stick? Remember how you assumed that the pinata was filled with candy and that you would soon be showered in a sea of Jolly Ranchers and candy bars? Remember when your broke the pinata and were instead showered with piss, semen, and diarrhea? Remember when you took off your blindfold and realize that your parents have given you a fecal jizz pinata? Remember how happy this made you as you started licking a puddle of piss and diarrhea that had dripped out of the pinata? Remember how this was the best birthday party you have ever had? Man, you are one fucked-up Canadian faggot!

Posted: Oct 22 2010, 07:30 AM
Bawls, there was a trend in the U.S. during the late 1980s when everyone wore acid-washed jeans that had a whitish hue as the result of bleaching. Please confirm that Canada has had its own jeans trend. Is it true that the current trend is to wear shit-stained jeans? Is it true the the jeans are manufactured in Mexico at a factory next to the largest Taco Bell in the world? Is it also true that there is no toilet paper in the factory and that the workers are instructed to wipe their asses with denim jeans after taking massive shits so that the jeans will have authentic shit stains? Man, raging queers really set the trends in Canada, don't they, ASS-FUCK!!!

Posted: Oct 25 2010, 07:36 AM
Rick Bawls, how often do you have wet dreams? Do you think about being ass-raped at rest stops during your wet dreams? When you wake up during your wet dreams, are your jammies soaked with your cum stains as a result of being so turned on during those dreams, or are they instead soaked with your piss because you are so frightened during the dreams? Please contact me to discuss.

Posted: Nov 23 2010, 07:31 AM
Rick Bawls, are you going to celebrate Christmas at the rest stop this year? Do you plan on taking a break from eating feces and sucking cock to enjoy a hearty turkey dinner? It must be nice to eat a plate of turkey while sitting in a puddle of piss and pubic hair on the bathroom floor while toilet bugs fly around your plate. It sounds yummy!

Posted: Nov 28 2010, 05:40 PM
Rick Bawls, please confirm that the Canadian government operates its own airline called "Canadian Airlines." Is it true that Canadian Airlines is the largest air carrier in Canada? I heard that Canadian Airlines operates at a huge profit by cutting corners. Please confirm that instead of using heaters to provide heated air to passengers, the airline instead employs a gay man who sitting in the back of the plane while eating Taco Bell tacos. Is it true that a metal pipe is lodged up that man's ass so that when he farts, his warm and wet farts are evenly distributed throughout the passenger cabin to warm everyone? Is it further true that Canadian Airlines is ranked #1 in Queer Bait Quarterly's recent ranking of gay-friendly airlines?

Posted: Nov 29 2010, 11:22 PM
Rick Bawls, is it true that in Canada it is perfectly legal and socially acceptable to marry a fart? What is that all about???

Posted: Nov 30 2010, 02:31 AM
A major source of the recently published classified documents is Bradley Manning, a U.S. soldier who was an intelligence analyst. Manning is a raging homosexual and reportedly wants to have a sex change because he feels like he is a woman trapped in a man's body. This traitorous faggot deserves to be executed for putting American lives and American foreign policy in jeopardy.

Anyway, the descriptions of Bradley Manning remind me of Rick Bawls. Is it possible that Rick Bawls = Bradley Manning? Perhaps this explains Rick Bawls' absence from his pathetic excuse for a blog over the past six weeks.

Posted: Nov 30 2010, 06:29 PM
Hey ass-fuck, please confirm that you enjoy sucking off men suffering from Down's Syndrome. Do you also enjoy it when a couple retards are viciously ass-raping you? Is it true that in Canada the current "hip" trend is to adopt a Down's syndrome man and service the Downer's various penis and ass needs? Man, Canada sure is one fucked-up cesspool!

Posted: Dec 1 2010, 07:39 PM
Rick Bawls, is it true that 95% of Canadians hibernate like bears during the winter? Do you and several other random dudes get naked and pile into an igloo and then wrap a blanket around yourselves? Please confirm that all of the dudes in the igloo form an erotic mishmash of intertwined legs, arms, and crotches. Do you guys rest for a few months while pissing and shitting all over the "man pile" during the hibernation? Is it true that the hibernation period ends in March when the members of the Canadian Parliament piss on the igloo until the ice walls melt? Please get back to me soon, buddy!

Posted: Dec 2 2010, 10:48 AM
Rick Bawls, have you moved bedroom dresser into the men's room where you are living? Is it true that you sit in a stall while sucking cocks inserted through a gloryhole in the stall wall? Is it also true that the door to your stall remains open so that random truckers and other dudes can spray diarrhea and fart and piss on you while you are sucking off other dudes? Is it true that some of the dudes get mad when there is a long line? Please confirm that when the line is very long, some of the truckers enjoy pissing and shitting in the sock drawer of your dresser? Do you like it when a random dude wipes his ass clean with your pillow case - do you have pleasant dreams while sleeping on the floor with your face laying directly on top of a crusty shit stain on the pillow case?

Posted: Feb 8 2011, 07:47 PM
Rick Bawls, how many times a day do you fantasize about sucking off Randy Constan? Do you fantasize about watching Randy have rough anal sex with Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper and then pulling out of Harper's ass and blowing his diseased load in your face? Man, you are one demented Canadian faggot!

Posted: Feb 16 2011, 03:17 AM
Rick Bawls, where have you been for the past few months? Please confirm that one of your trucker clients at the gloryhole where you sell blowjobs and rimjobs kidnapped you, held you captive for 3 months, and made you his sexual slave. Is it true that this was the best and most pleasurable experience in your entire life? Why did you enjoy it so much when he would piss on your face to wake you up and then viciously ass-raped you? Is this type of experience known as a common rite of passage among the large gay population in Canada? Man, you are one dirty faggot!!!

Posted: Feb 17 2011, 04:03 PM
Rick Bawls, please confirm that you were recently promoted to the head cheerleader position at the Highway 401 rest stop in Ontario. Is it true that your job requires you to give encouragement to constipated men walking into stalls and to congratulate men in the middle of taking dumps? Is it true that you say things like "well played, sir," "nicely done," "nice fart," and "that was a lovely diarrhea spray!" Do you ever lick the buttholes of constipated men to help loosen them up to take a shit? Do you enjoy it when some of those dudes "accidentally" expel the contents of their bowels into your mouth while you are licking their nether regions? Please contact me to discuss!

Posted: Feb 18 2011, 10:29 AM
Rick Bawls, please confirm that Toronto has banned urinals at rest stops and in gas station bathrooms. Is it true that men who need to take a leak are supposed to piss on the floor? Is it further true that nobody mops up the piss and that it collects in puddles on the floor until it either evaporates or someone slips on the piss and soaks up piss with their pants? Is it also true that you enjoy sitting on a puddle of piss while random truckers piss on your face and hair? Have you contacted Randy Constan to convince him to piss on you and then anally rape you in front of your uncle and a crowd of random queers gathered at a rest stop bathroom? Please get back to me PRONTO with answers to these important questions, buddy!

Posted: Feb 20 2011, 09:17 AM
Rick Bawls, how often do you prance around in green tights like your hero, Randy Constan? Is it true that you enjoy soaking your tights in a clogged toilet bowl full of piss and shit for 45 minutes prior to wearing them out in public? Does the putrid smell of shit and shit on your tights really turn on the massive gay community of Canada? On average, how long can you wear the piss- and shit-soaked tights in public before you are anally raped? Please get back to me with answers to these important questions, ass-fuck!!!

Posted: Feb 21 2011, 07:52 AM
Rick Bawls, please confirm that the top selling item on eBay in Canada last year was a bag filled with farts. Is it true that over 75 million bags of farts were shipped to different Canadian queers from the factory down in Mexico? Is it true that Mexican men fill up the bags with farts after eating greasy Mexican food? Sounds hot! Man, Canada sure is chock-full of demented faggots!!!

Posted: Feb 23 2011, 10:07 AM
Rick Bawls, how often do you fall asleep and fantasize about riding around on a broomstick with the object of your homosexual affections, Randy Constan? Do these fantasies end with Randy ass-raping you and infecting you with STDs? When you wake up do you discover that you've blown your tiny load in your pants? Please get back to me soon, you dirty faggot!

Posted: Feb 24 2011, 08:03 PM
Rick Bawls, remember that time when you were in high school and were taking your written final examination for Driver's Ed? Remember when your teacher dropped his pants and pissed on your head as you filled out your Scantron sheet with answers to the test? Remember when you asked him to stop and the teacher got mad at you for interrupting the other kids taking the test and gave you a failing grade? Remember when he said that drivers need to learn to focus despite distractions, such as being pissed on, and that his piss was an important part of the class? Remember when you went home crying after receiving your grade and told your dad, Jeffrey Dahmer, that you had failed Driver's Ed? Remember when your dad got upset with you for being such a loser and took out his aggressions by becoming a notorious cannibalistic homosexual serial killer? You really fucked up that time!!

Posted: Mar 1 2011, 07:12 AM
Rick Bawls, please confirm that the gallons of semen that have been pumped up your asshole have backed up into your brain. Is it true that your brain has absorbed the STD-ridden semen resulting in the destruction of many brain cells? Is this why you now have a learning disability? Please get back to me soon, buddy!

Posted: Mar 1 2011, 11:56 PM
Rick Bawls, please confirm that that #1 movie in Canada right now is an art film entitled, "Dudes Taking Dumps." Is it true that this is a 2-hour long film filled with clips of random dudes farting and taking dumps in public rest rooms? Is it also true that 98% of the people who watch this movie in public theaters masturbate during the movie? I further heard that the movie theater operators encourage masturbation by providing free hand lotion samples and instructing patrons to use popcorn grease as lubrication? Do you enjoy watching this movie while sitting on a semen-soaked cushion? Man, Canada sure is a backward country chock-full of deviant queers!

Posted: Mar 5 2011, 09:34 AM
Rick Bawls, when you used to watch your father, serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer, raping a corpse, is it true that you would masturbate vigorously? Is it true that you would fantasize that your dad was having anal sex with you instead of the rotting corpse? Would you come within seconds during while jerking it during your sick homosexual fantasy? Man, you are one demented faggot, but I guess it is par for the course in the homosexual utopia known as Canada!!!

Posted: Mar 7 2011, 06:58 PM
Rick Bawls, is it true that you collaborated with Dustin Diamond and the Muslim community to plan the 9/11 attacks? Man, you are one vile piece of shit!

Posted: Mar 10 2011, 11:29 AM
Rick Bawls, when are you going to come clean and admit that your are an HIV bug chaser? It's already been established that you enjoy listening to random men take dumps and also like it when random queers piss and shit on you and blow their diseased loads into your mouth and ass. I also heard that you like to lick clean the dirty toilet seats at rest stops that have not previously been cleaned in years. You have also made it clear that you have a voluminous collection of hardcore gay pornography that you enjoy reviewing with your uncle with you are both naked and his cock is buried deep in your ass. However, I need you to update us on your quest to contract the deadly HIV virus. Have you made any progress toward your lifelong goal of dying from full-blown AIDS? Please get back to me soon, ass-fuck!!!

Posted: Mar 10 2011, 05:47 PM
Rick Bawls, please confirm that you are one of the faggots dressed up as a woman who is fighting in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gi2ehhySasc

Is it true that you and those other queers were brawls over who got to receive the first diarrhea spray next to the dumpster in the alley adjacent to that taco restaurant?

Posted: Mar 13 2011, 09:34 AM
Rick Bawls, please confirm that 78% of all of the men in Canada are HIV+. Is it true that the 22% of men who are not HIV+ are treated as outcasts and are shunned by society? Is it true that you and the other men in the 78% of HIV+ group frequently throw rocks and shout anti-heterosexual slurs at the 22% who are not HIV+ even though a majority of men in the 22% are also raging homosexuals like yourself? Please confirm that men without HIV are forced to wear a patch on their clothing identifying themselves as such are are routinely sent to concentration camps for "heterosexual cleansing?" Is it true that the inspiration for the concentration camps was the concentration camps in which Russians, Jews and other political enemies of the Axis Powers were held during WWII? Man, Canada sure is one fucked-up shit hole!!

Posted: Mar 14 2011, 01:26 AM
Rick Bawls, please confirm that only 0.10% of all babies in Canada are born gay. Is it true that the Canadian doctors test for homosexuality? Is it also true that the non-gay babies are sent to re-education camps and are molested until they turn gay? Is this how Canada manages to maintain a homosexuality percentage of 98% within the male population? Is it also true that 99.6% of all babies born in Canada since 1983 have been test tube babies? Is it further true that Canada has banned the birth of women and sells test tube babies containing females to McDonalds, where they are ground up and used within Chicken McNuggets? Please confirm that the test tube babies are raised within the assholes of men until birth.

Man, Canada sure is a queer's utopian paradise!!!

Posted: Mar 14 2011, 07:32 PM
Rick Bawls, why are you such a cum-guzzler?

Posted: Mar 14 2011, 09:23 PM
Bawls, why are you such a piece of shit? Why are you so obsessed with flamboyant queers such as Randy Constan? Why do you lick dirty toilet seats at rest stops after truckers have sat on them while taking massive smelly dumps? When are you going to come out of the closet and admit that you are a homosexual? I know that you feel embarrassed when you get an erection when you hear a random man ripping ass, but you need to be true to yourself and your homosexual desires. You need to stop obsessing over the dudes who post here and go live out your deranged HIV bug-chasing queer fantasies!

Posted: Mar 15 2011, 06:51 AM
Ass-fuck, please describe what went through your mind the first time you were in a public restroom and you saw a strange man watching you piss at the urinal. Remember when he farted and you achieved your first erection? Remember when he pulled down your pants and anally violated you until he blew his load in your ass? Remember how you contracted your first STD from this encounter? Remember when you turned around and saw your dad, Jeffrey Dahmer, jerking off at the sight? Remember when you also noticed your grandmother, who was sitting on a sink while fingering herself? Please confirm that being raped by a stranger at a public restroom is a celebrated "rite of passage" in Canada.

Man, Canada sure is a backward shit-hole!!!

Posted: Mar 16 2011, 09:40 AM
Rick Bawls, please confirm that Canada has banned the use of certain college entrance exams, such as the SAT, designed to measure intelligence and logical reasoning. Is it true that the college entrance exam in Canada consists entirely of the test taker drawing doodles of cocks and gay sex positions while the test proctor rips ass in the test-taker's face. Please confirm that the test concludes when the test proctor takes a dump on the test taker's face. Is the test taker's grade an entirely subjective measure determined by the test proctor based on the test taker's reaction to having a load of warm feces dumped on his/her head? Can the test takers receive extra credit by sucking off the test proctor or letting the proctor piss in their faces? Please get back to me soon, buddy!

Posted: Apr 10 2011, 09:34 PM
Rick Bawls, why won't you deviant Canadian faggots let Corey Haim's body rest in peace? What is wrong with you morons???

Rocco
Posted: Apr 13 2011, 02:25 AM
Rick Bawls, please confirm that there are many different terms for how people use urinals in Canadian bathrooms? Is it true when a dude takes a piss then turns around and takes a shit in a urinal it's called a "double"? Is it true when two dudes both piss in a urinal at the same time while a dude stands in the middle of them and drops a chud into the urinal it's called a "triple"? Please confirm that eating out of a urinal is totally normal in Canada and that if a dude pisses on your head while you're gobbling up a turd out of a urinal it's called a "squirt surprise"? Please confirm that eating a Mexican turd out of a urinal is known as a "hot tamale"? Is it true when a urinal overflows because turds block the urinal drain it's known as a "turd dam" and immediately invokes a slip and slide party in any bathroom where this occurs? What's up with this Rick Bawls? Why is Canada so full of demented faggots?

Posted: Apr 13 2011, 02:37 AM
Man, I need to visit Canada soon to partake in a triple! That would be so hot if another dude and I pissed all over a random stranger who was shitting in a urinal!

I heard that Canadians often use the liquid hand soap dispensers that are large and see-through and are typically glued onto a wall. The big thing now is for someone to drop a deuce into the hand soap dispenser so that random people in the bathroom can see the deuce when they are lathering up their hands with the hand soap. Canadians often shit into hand soap dispensers like the one shown in this picture:

Posted: Apr 13 2011, 07:18 PM
Rick Bawls, what is the hold-up? Why haven't you answered any of the questions in this thread? 463 messages have been posted and almost all of them contain important and serious questions that need to be answered ASAP!

Also, please make the arrangements for Rocco and me to give you a "triple." You need to drop a chocolate hot dog into a urinal while Rocco and I piss all over you! After we are done, we will shove your face into the piss/shit puddle in the urinal to see how long you can hold your breath.

Rocco
Posted: Apr 14 2011, 05:20 AM
Rick Bawls, I demand you promptly respond to Kurt's proposition! Kurt and I will each down multiple 2 liters of soda, while eating massive amounts of Taco Bell before participating in the Triple with you. This way we will have plenty of urine to really coat you with piss while you take a dump in the rest stop urinal! Then as an added bonus I will kick you into the urinal causing your head to land in your turd and our piss. Kurt and I will then execute a "double double" when we both drop trough and fire diarrhea onto your head in the urinal! I imagine this uber hot move will really show you Canadians a thing or two! A quick confirmation would be greatly appreciated as Kurt and my schedule fills up quickly come the summer time!

ROCCO

Posted: Apr 14 2011, 06:36 AM
Rick Bawls, please arrange for this to happen in the men's room at the next Toronto-area wrestling event in which Diamond is scheduled to appear. I heard that things got really hot and nasty with Diamond after he stepped out of the wrestling ring to take a piss after his Toronto wrestling match last month!

Posted: Apr 17 2011, 09:37 PM
Rick Bawls, I just read about one of your beloved former Canadian Air Force Colonel Russel Williams. Not only is he now a convited rapist and murderer, he is also a cross-dresser. Please confirm that he is the most revered man in all of Canada.
http://weirdnewsfiles.com/tag/russell-williams-air-force-colonel/

Video of Rick Bawls on a Train

2011-05-23T21:55:00.000-07:00

Check out this video of Rick Bawls on a train ride. Man, he is one deranged weirdo!

Hitoshi, the Japanese "Dustin Diamond"

2011-05-22T17:14:00.000-07:00

Several years ago I discovered a website for a Japanese man who wanted to proclaim his love of milk, women, and country music. His name is Hitoshi and his website hit the big time in 2005-2006, primarily because of the misspellings and the unusual content of this website. One of the best parts of his website was a guestbook where he allowed his gay fans to post queer messages/fantasies.

Some screenshots from his homepage are shown below. Hitoshi is well-known for his catch-phrase, "I LIEK MILK!!!" Unfortunately, Hitoshi took down his website a few years ago for unknown reasons.:(

Here are some of the better guestbook posts that I have been able to locate from the guestbook on Hitoshi's former website:

Ox » Hitoshi, remember when I gave you a milk enema? Remember when a fat, balding middle-aged high school princiapl named "Mr. Belding" tied you up and had unprotected buttsex with you, completely against your will? Remember when he unloaded his HIV+ sperm in your ass? Remember when he said "welcome to my HIV world, Hitoshi, you stupid FAGGOT!!!" Remember when you went the free clinic the next day and discovered you had had not only contracted HIV from Mr. Belding, but you also discovered that he had given you herpes as well? Belding and I sure got you good that time!

Ox » Hitoshi, remember that time when I stuck my finger in your butthole and you spilled the milk you were drinking? Remember when I dropped trow and cleaned you up with a golden shower? Remember when I "accidently" knocked over your milk glass and it shattered on your floor? Remember when you bend over to clean it up and I ripped a nasty fart mere inches from your face? Remember when I knocked you over and then took a shit in your mouth? I sure got you good that time.

Screech » Zoinks Slater, do you think I can have some of your infested protein, just like old times. Hitoshi, you get off my Kool-Aid, all these queers used to be my fans, you remember that Hitoshi. I've let Slater and Zack cum all over me while you were still drinking milk.Maybe we can hook up for some unprotected butt sex?
A.C. Slater » Hitoshi, I just found out that I have the AIDS virus. I want to come over to your place and have buttsex with you. I want to do this even if you're not into this kind of thing. Also, I will do this with no protection because I want to make sure that you contract AIDS.

Dustins Jew Fro » hey Hitoshi I want you to shoot your man milk all over my jew fro after I suck you off while I'm on my knees looking like a circus seal. You are one hot bitch who needs a lot of cock! I've got to go jerk off while looking at your pictures, talk to you later.

Screech » Hitoshi you are in need of a Russian trombone. It's were I suck on your ass as I jerk you off. I'll pretend I'm in a gay parade and you can sing a song about bonsai or something. I'd pretend to play some smooth jazz on your ass. The vibration of my lips on your ass would bring you to extacy. I would even tickle your taint and continue to play your trombone. I can't wait to meet up at the sushi bar where you hang out in the rest room waiting for your regulars to come in and be serviced by you. Maybe you'll think about having your ass this time because I hate sucking on a hairy shit stained ass. Please shave and use some sort of after shave - it will make it such a beautiful experience.

Kurt Steinberg » Hitoshi, I just ate some spicy tacos and would love to spray diarrhea right on your hairy taint... Does it look like your Gradma's chin? Mine does! I love you and your taint. OHHHHHH "TAINT"ED LOVE!

- Kurt Steinberg

Kurt Steinberg » Hitoshi, I want to rub wasabi sauce on your taint while you eat sushi out of my ass crack. I will then insert my eggroll into your sexy butt and unload my "soy sauce" from my wang directly into your mouth.

- Kurt Steinberg

Mario Lopez » Hey Hitoshi, hows it going? I'll get straight to the point - have you ever experienced the touch of another man? I'd love to teach how to play gay baseball - it involves my special flesh bat and your balls. I'm looking to hit a homerun.

Gaylord Zack » Hitoshi remember when we started having gay cyber sex and you used to shove a web cam up your puckered little rectum? I remember the time you shipped some of your semen to me and I lapped it up as you jerked off on the webcam. Remember how I told you that I was going to shove a pineapple up you ass and it turned you on? I think I also would like to shove a milk bottle up your ass, with the lid off so you can spray some diarrhea in the milk and we can shake it up and make some chocolate milk to give to some unsuspecting bum to drink in exchange for a hummer. They do give the best blow jobs when food is involved, huh Hitoshi?

Gaylord Zack » Hey Hitoshi, I'm a regular on the dumpster scene and I'm known worldwide for my drunken dragon rimming technique. I'm also the author of "If a man shits in his zubaz and no one is around, does it make a smell?", it's gaining in popularity as we speak! My reason for writing is to tell you that I will be in Japan to promote my book and I would like to take you on as a student to teach my drunken dragon rimming technique. You will never be lonely again if you choose to be my student, yours analy, Gaylord Zack.

Gaylord Zack » Hitoshi it's been such a long time since I've talked to you. Remember the time that you wanted me to give you an enema with a pot of coffee and I shoved a tube up your ass and used a funnel to pour an entire pot of hot coffee in your rectum? Remember how at first you jumped when the heat touched your prostate? Remember how once it numbed you it felt good and you shot your load of Japanese spunk all over my face. Remember how all that coffee came out of your ass and there was a lot of shit that came out with it? Remember how we played around in it and smelled like coffee and shit? That was one of the greatest times in my life.

Paul Daanen » Do you like pudding as much as you like milk? I want to eat a chocolate pudding pop out of your asshole. That will satisfy my gay cravings.

QUOTE
Rect-Al » Hitoshi need assfuck up his poop-chute because it make him happi-happi!!!! His face looks like a combination between a gonnorreah-infected asshole and a syphillitic vagina and he likes to fuck his mother in the ass... Could we fuck sometime?

QUOTE
Gaylord Zack » Hitoshi, I don't know if you got a chance to read my message since your guestbook is gettig spammed by some fuckhole. Here it is again.

Hitoshi it's been such a long time since I've talked to you. Remember the time that you wanted me to give you an enema with a pot of coffee and I shoved a tube up your ass and used a funnel to pour an entire pot of hot coffee in your rectum? Remember how at first you jumped when the heat touched your prostate? Remember how once it numbed you it felt good and you shot your load of Japanese spunk all over my face. Remember how all that coffee came out of your ass and there was a lot of shit that came out with it? Remember how we played around in it and smelled like coffee and shit? That was one of the greatest times in my life.

Love, your friend Gay Zack

Dongsmoker » SPAMMING CUNTS, FUCK OFF!

Gaylord Zack » I want to fuck off with you Dongsmoker ;) maybe Hitoshi will join us and show us his ancient Japanese gay sex moves.

Dongsmoker » Gaylord Zack, that sounds like fun, but I think instead we should form a queer crime-fighting duo that hunts down spammers and anally rapes them to death. Maybe Hitoshi could be our comedy sidekick.

Gaylord Zack » I like your thinking dongsmoker, maybe I can tea bag them before we rape them and you can attack them with a round of heavey fart blasts after eating taco bell. I also like the idea of Hitsohi being the comic sidekick, but only if he dresses in gimp gear and we can whip him.

Freddie Diarrha » Hey Lew, I'd like to get together with you. Maybe I can take a healthy shit in your mouth as you jerk me off into a milk glass which we would send over to Hitoshi overnight FedEx so it will still be warm. I'd also eat lots of Taco Bell and get the shits so I could spray feces all over your body, than I'd rub it into your skin so you look lke you have a sunless tan. We than could go out on the town to my favorite bar, the Manhole, you'd have a great time, I promise.

some little boy » my name is Echi and I live in Japan. I play baseball for littel league and I know of Histoshi. He followed me into the baseball field bathroom and told me to touch him. I did, and he touched me. He also put his penis in my butt and made it bleed. I cried but he wouldn't stop, he was done and he left. He did this for the couse of the basball seeson and I told no one until now. I am 25 years old and he molests me, I am also retarded, very retarded. My mom says it's not molest because I am an adult and tell him to do this stuff to me. I once wore my shit stained underwear on my head while Hitoshi touched me.

Dustin Diamond » Hitoshi, you can drink my man-milk, and then I'll bend over, spread my ass-cheeks and spray you with my hot "miso soup"!!! Sounds like quite a feast!

Freddie » hey Dustin, I REALLY want to unload a gallon of my spunk in your chcolate caveran of love, which would form stalagmites and stalagtites in your ass.

random guy » please send help, I am trapped in Hitoshi's anus were I have been living off his corn shit and drinking semen. I have tried to grab unto penis that has been up his ass, but I couldn't get pulled out - I imagined that if I did it would look like on Poltergiest when they brought back the little girl. I would be covered in all that crap and they'd have to put me in a tub to clean me off. Please refer to the movie to find out how to get me out of Hitoshi's ass. You are my only hope.

Suckian Penis » Hitoshi, do you ever go to bath houses in Japan? I go to them all the time in San Francisco. I like to sit in the hot tub and fart and watch all the cum from my ass rise to the top. Sometimes a guy will eat it up, if he does that's the sign that me and him will go somewhere to fuck. Sometimes we just do it in the tub with the other guys watching. One time while I was getting pounded, another guy shoved his ass in my face and I ate out his ass while an old guy, who looked like Wilford Brimley jerked me off. It was a lot of fun. You should come out to San Francisco to meet me. I will take you to all the hot bath houses and hook you up with some hot guys. Hitoshi, I think I love you.

Screech » Hitoshi, I have sent you a pair of cum stained zubaz. I want for you to smell the ass area and lick the dried cum off them as you jerk off into your baseball uniform. Than you will send me your cum stained uniform and I will do the same, only this time I will send you back some shit stained zubaz and we will continue this until one day we will meet and I will show you what a dirty sanchez is.

Dustins Jew Fro » hey Hitoshi I want you to shoot your man milk all over my jew fro after I suck you off while I'm on my knees looking like a circus seal. You are one hot bitch who needs a lot of cock! I've got to go jerk off while looking at your pictures, talk to you later.

Assplunderer » Hitoshi, you look so hot in those pictures on the main page! I have some white liquid for you to drink, but it's not milk! Instead it's my sperm, straight from my penis. When I think about your asian ass, loads just squirt out of my wang!

Lance Dikstrong » Hey buddy I'm starting production on a new gay porn called Lord of the Queens, starring myself as Frodo and in the works to have Dustin "Screech" Diamond play Gollum. I think you'd be a perfect Hobbit, would you like to star in this movie with us, we have a few more hot dudes signed on, they are all unknowns right now, but are hung like bulls. We will be starting up in the next few months, we have to write out a storyline, and conceptualize all the sex positions and acts we will do, I can tell you bukkake, glass bottom boat and hot carls are on the top of my list.

Yoshida » I am wanting to hook up for gay sex with you. I will shove a star fruit up your ass as I skull fuck you until my milk runs out your eyes and nose. Have you ever been donkey punched before? I'd love to donkey punch you and shit on your pastey white chest, you gay stud you.

Kurt Steinberg » Hitoshi, from perusing your website, it is obvious to me that you are a flaming homosexual. However, I wonder why a Japanese man has a ".nl" website address located in the Netherlands. What's the deal? We should get together and talk about this while you lick eggrolls out of my ass.

- Kurt Steinberg

Mr. Belding » hitoshi, have you ever rimmed an overweight middle-aged white man?

Kurt Steinberg » Hitoshi, have you ever received an "R. Kelly"? It's where someone pisses all over you and uses your face as a toilet seat. I'd like to give you an R. Kelly and then finish you off with a Cleveland Steamer!

- Kurt Steinberg

Sammy Shitstain » hitoshi i wanna fuck you in the ass, you stupid japanese fuckhole. i also wanna piss in your ass and unleash a thick spray of gooey diarreah in your face you steaming assfuck

Kurt Steinberg » Hitoshi, do homosexual men have sex in alleys next to dumpsters in Japan like they do in the USA? I would love to ass-slam you while you lean against a dumpster filled with rotting food!!!

- Kurt Steinberg

Yoshi » Hitoshi, I live in Kobe where I work as a janitor in a gay sex club. It is very hot the smells I cum across. We should hang out sometime, I could show you a good time in Kobe. If I visit you, I won't need the extra bedroom, because I will sleep in your bed with you. In Germany you would be called uber hot! I want to put my wang in your mouth and shoot my wasabi all over you.

Gay Zack » Hey Hitoshi, I really like the pics of you in the baseball uniform - I bet you have a hot ass. I'd love for you to drink my man milk and let it run on your lip like a milk ad. I love little Japanese men - let's hook up for queer sex.

Kurt Steinberg » Hitoshi, you are a Japanese Dustin Diamond! I want to squirt my salty load in your mouth and then toss your salad!!!

- Kurt Steinberg

gaywad » hitoshi, which men have the best-tasting assholes? Chinese, Japanese, or Australian? Please let your homo fans know as soon as possible.

Paul Daanen » Hitoshi, I want to eat sushi out of your asshole and will prepare crab cakes for you from the crabs in my crotch.

p. diddy » i poured milk into my underwear. drnk the expired milk off my taint

Hitoshi » I want to defecate, do caca on myself, i want a 10 year old boy to rub milk on my caca, and lick it off, i want him to shit on my face, and i want to eat sushi from his asshole, i liek milk

Kurt Steinberg » Hitoshi, let's hook up for some hot man-on-man action! I will teabag you and then give you a sweaty pair of Arabian Goggles. Next, I will sit on your face and drop ass. Finally, I will rub my erect penis all over your face and then squirt my load in your mouth!

- Kurt Steinberg

Paul Daanen » Hitoshi, i'm gonna eat sushi out of your asshole while giving you my eggroll.

Lance Dikstrong » I want to take a steamy shit on your chest while you spit milk all over me as we watch a lemon party happen in front of us. I can give you a warm milk enema, if it'll turn you on. I'd even drink the milk once it came out your ass. We can bottle it and sell it to queers around the world. Damn I want to bend you over and give you my long staff. I bet you like to get donkey punched. I plan on doing that to you, as well as lighting your pubes on fire and putting it out with my cum. You're such a sexy little bitch. I come to see you soon and we can share your futon and stain the matress with anal juices and feces.

Tommy Chode » Hitoshi I want for you to nibble on my nut sack like a good Jap should. Lets seriously hook up in some reststop for queer loving. I want to shave off your pubes while you sleep and glue them to your face with my cum to make a Abe Lincoln beard. I'd than stove pipe my dick in your ass and you'd be startled and me friend would take your picture. Also one night I will get you drunk so you pass out. I will put myself in your mouth and have my friend take a picture, which I will post for all to see.

Suckian Penis » Hitoshi, do you ever go to bath houses in Japan? I go to them all the time in San Francisco. I like to sit in the hot tub and fart and watch all the cum from my ass rise to the top. Sometimes a guy will eat it up, if he does that's the sign that me and him will go somewhere to fuck. Sometimes we just do it in the tub with the other guys watching. One time while I was getting pounded, another guy shoved his ass in my face and I ate out his ass while an old guy, who looked like Wilford Brimley jerked me off. It was a lot of fun. You should come out to San Francisco to meet me. I will take you to all the hot bath houses and hook you up with some hot guys. Hitoshi, I think I love you.

Remember when.. » Hitoshi, remember when I was fucking your ass as your drank milk and I make you laugh when I tickled your balls and milk came out your nose. Remember how we both started laughing and we stopped and gazed in each others eyes. remember how I tongue kissed you and we started rimming each other. remember how your anus was dripping juices from being so turned on. remember how I put my dick inside you and pounded you with such force your futon broke. remember how we kept going at it anyway. remember how I donkey punched you right before I came and you passed out so I kept fucking you. remember how you woke up the next day to find your head and balls shaved and penises drawn all over your body in permanant marker. damn I got you good that time.

Yoshida » Hitoshi, wearing Arabian goggles will protect your eyes from jizz. I once wore a Roman helmut, you should try it sometime. I love you Hitoshi you silly fag you.

Ox » Hitoshi, remember when I was over at your place and you asked me to get you a glass of milk? Remember when I poured it into a glass for you and then walked over and threw it in your face and said "here's your milk, BITCH!" Remember when I yanked down your pants and had some sweaty man-on-man action with you? Remember when I blew my load in your face? Remember when I sat on your face and unleashed a smelly Cleveland Steamer? I sure got you good that time!

Tommy Chode » Hitoshi, I'm going to stuff my cum/ shit stained underwear in your mouth and I'll tape it in place with duct tape so no one can hear you scream with joy as I plunger your ass with my dick. I bet this is turning you on and making your anus leak with love juices. When I plunger you, it will sound like someone making macaroni and cheese. You are so hot, I can't wait to see you and hang out, you still will show me all your favorite gay hangouts right? Did your anus stop bleeding from the last guy to have you? I'll talk to you later sweety.

Ox » Hitoshi, remember when I gave you a milk enema? Remember when a fat, balding middle-aged high school princiapl named "Mr. Belding" tied you up and had unprotected buttsex with you, completely against your will? Remember when he unloaded his HIV+ sperm in your ass? Remember when he said "welcome to my HIV world, Hitoshi, you stupid FAGGOT!!!" Remember when you went the free clinic the next day and discovered you had had not only contracted HIV from Mr. Belding, but you also discovered that he had given you herpes as well? Belding and I sure got you good that time!

Ted Taint » Hitoshi, tickle my taint with your asian tongue. Pretend it is a tasty eggroll and lick it clean.

EmperorHirohito » Hitoshi, you are a disgrace to the Japanese people. I need to punish you (and please myself) by taking an enormous shit in your mouth after eating some tuna sushi.

Remember when.. » Hitoshi, remember the time you decided to go and get some milk direct from a cow? Remember how you broke into a field behind a dairy farm, slid underneath the nearest cow, put its udder in your mouth and began to suck? Remember how suprised you were when the udder started going hard? Remember how you realised it was a bull you were sucking on, not a cow? Remember how you thought "oh well" and just kept sucking on the bull's big, hard cock? Remember how the bull went "hmmmmMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" and started firing thick, ropey cords of bovine jizzom down your throat? Remember how you snarfed down so much steaming bull-cum that your belly bloated out like a balloon filled with rancid mayonnaise? Remember how you couldn't move and lay there groaning as the bull dropped a steaming pile of manure on your supine form and walked off? You sure got owned that time!!

Hey Hitoshi, remember the time that you "won" a free trip to America from a local radio station? Remember when the tickets were sent to you in the mail and the return address was from Los Angeles? Remember how you found this to be kinda odd? Remember when you packed your bags and brought 3 gallons of milk with you? Remember when you hopped on the flight and headed to LAX? Remember when you arrived and you saw a man in a wrestling singlet and a greasy mullet wig holding a sign with your name on it? Remember when you approched him and he led you to a limo? Remember when he took you to your "hotel room?" Remember when on the way there you asked the driver what his name was? Remember when he said "just call me Gay Zack?" Remember when you arrived at your hotel room but it was a shithole in a total dive that charged by the hour? Remember when Gay Zack followed you into your room? Remember when you flipped the switch and there were other men, including me, in your room dressed up in zubaz was assflaps? Remember when Gay Zack locked the door behind you? Remember when you felt the pain of someone cracking you in the back of the head with a monkey wrench? Remember when some guy dressed as Screech said "GET HIM KURT STEINBERG!" Remember when Kurt Steinberg said "YOU GOT IT ROCCO!!" Remember when Gay Zack ripped off your clothes? Remember when Kurt Steinberg and Gay Zack started to double team your ass? Remember what it felt like to have them swordfighting in your rectum? Remember when Rocco and I squatted over you and started to give you a nice taco tsunami? Remember when Gay Zack and Kurt Steinberg pulled out and Rocco and I took their place and gave you one of our world famous spit-roasts? Remember when I donkey punched you as I unloaded my salami seed into your asshole? Remember when Rocco poked you in the eyes as he gagged you with his sperm? Remember when a man that Kurt Steinberg called Ox came over to you and gave you a golden shower while Kurt Steinberg and Gay Zack jacked off over you? Remember when Gay Zack and Kurt Steinberg started stomping on your head until you passed out? Remember when Ox rolled you up in a rug? Remember when Rocco and I threw you in back of Rocco's queermobile? Remember when we all jumped in and hit the dumpster scene pretty hard with your body? That'll teach you to fall for those silly radio station contests!!

Dner »
Hey Hitoshi, remember when you got a letter from a girl in America? Remember when it said that she really liked you and that she wants to meet up with you? Remember when she gave you an address to a shitty hotel? Remember when you got so excited that you started chugging a gallon of milk? Remember when you chugged your milk so fast that you started to gag and you threw up over yourself? Remember when you started to beat off to the thought of makin it with an American woman? Remember when you went to that hotel to meet up with the hot mamma from the west? Remember when you went into hotel room? Remember when you saw a note on the bed that said "meet me by the dumpster?" Remember when you went back to the dumpster and you say 13 gay Japanese men fucking their brains out? Remember when you saw the woman you were gonna meet? Remember when she said "JUST CALL ME JESSE!!!" Remember when "she" pushed you over and ripped your pants off? Remember when she pulled out her wang and started to wienerize your yellow ass? Remember when you screamed in pain? Remember when "she" kept fucking you and screaming "YOU LIKE MILK HUH?!?!?" Remember when the gay men came over to you and jizzed all over you? Remember when Jesse got you into a sleeperhold? Remember when you woke up in a forest with a bleeding anus? Remember when you saw a package next to you? Remember when you opened the package and saw a note that said "here's some complimentary milk?" Remember when you chugged the milk? Remember when you noticed it wasn't milk? Remember when you noticed that it was bull semen? Hitoshi, how the hell do you know what bull semen tastes like?

Dner »
Hey Hitoshi, is it true that you're so used to people doing the old switcheroo with your milk and animal semen that you can now tell the difference between the animals by taste alone? Is it true that you think that horse jizzim is the best over all the other beasts of the land? Is it true that you like horse cum over the rest because its a lot thicker than say a dogs? Is it true that when you're feeling a bit peckish you go for rotwielers because they're more fiesty and their cum is more spicier? Why the hell do you have to be such a freak?

The Dust »
Hitoshi, remember the particularly nasty bout of herpes I gave you?

The Dust »
Hitoshi, remember the time we hooked up in the alley behind that Shibuya gay bar, and you impaled me with your mighty "samurai sword"?

The Dust »
Remember how you spread your butt-cheeks and blew your special miso soup all over my face?

The Dust »
Remember how I used to scream "ZOINKS!!!!" when I'd ejaculate inside your ass?

The Dust »
Hitoshi, I demand we hook up for gay sex. It'll be just like the good old days. Remember when I would chow down on your SARS-infected load?

The Dust »
Hitoshi, remember when I bukkake'd all over your dopey gook face?

»
Please fellow queers, help me spank up this site with homo erotic spam so maybe the evil spammers will leave and let us have our favorite cyber queer hangouts.

»
Looking for gay sex? Meet the spammers behind a bowling alley near you.

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People who offer free ringtones also offer free anal and spit roasting.

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I bet Hitoshi's semen tastes like soy sauce and milk.

»
Hitoshi, you need to take a wusabi induced diarrhea in the faces of these spammers who bury all the good spank material.

»
Remember when this guestbook used to be good before this spamming cock took over? Remember when dustindiamond.com used to be a breeding grounds for some of the most filthiest queers to ever touch the keyboard. Remember when the spammer forced them all into hiding, so other queers can't get reach arounds from the seasoned anal pro's. You spammers suck.

»
Non homo spam really makes Hitoshi cry and sad in his pants.

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People who spam up guestbooks with non queer related material need to have their faces sprayed with chocolatey diarrhea.

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Please shoot thick ropey loads on me like spiderman would

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I love Hitoshi's anus.

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I'm flammmmming gay! Please shoot your thick ropey load on my face and buy anal plugs. Free ringtones for those who shove their phones up my ass! Great site, it makes me want to have someone take a hot steamy shit in my mouth. Keep up the good work.

My "Remember When..." Queer Fantasies - Part IX

2011-05-18T22:11:00.000-07:00

These are the last of my "Remember When..." queers fantasies that I was able to recover from cached pages of the old Dustin Diamond Love forum. Unfortunately, I know that some stories are missing:

"Diamond Learns About Trophies" episode recap
Posted: May 4, 2011 04:52 AM (GMT)

Diamond, remember how jealous you were of Slater and Zack Morris for winning all of those sporting awards at Bayside? Remember how Slater won lots of football and wrestling awards and Zack won cross-country and track awards? Remember how you sucked at sports and the only awards you won were from that stupid Insect Rodeo? Remember the envy you felt when visiting Slater's room? Remember how Slater was ass-raping you and you saw all of the plaques and trophies in his room? Remember when you also saw a TV show where a hunter had mounted the heads of deer in a trophy room of his house? Remember when you were jealous of everyone for having all of those trophies and decided that you wanted to make your own trophy room? Remember when you started mounting a few pairs of Belding's dirty skidmark-encrusted underwear on your wall? Remember when you also mounted some sweaty jock straps and wrestling singlets you had stolen from the Bayside laundry bin after wrestling practice? Remember when you also stole a black toilet seat covered in piss and shit stains from the rest stop where your TV dad, Mr. Powers, operated his gloryhole? Remember when you hung the toilet seat on a nail in your bedroom wall? Remember how after your entire bedroom reeked of the smell of piss, sweaty balls, and ass after all of your "trophies" had been hung? Remember when you showed off your trophy room to Belding? Remember how mad Belding was at you for stealing his used underwear? Remember when he said that he didn't have any money for new underwear and had instead been working "commando" at Bayside? Remember when Belding decided that you needed to be taught a lesson and kicked you in the junk and then took the toilet seat hanging on the wall and cracked your across your head with it? Remember how you were laying on your back on the floor and then Belding jumped down off your bed onto the floor and gave you Hulk Hogan's patented leg drop across your neck? Remember how the massive weight of Belding's 450-lb body coming down on the floor caused your bedroom floor to collapse, sending the two of you down through the floor to the kitchen below? Remember when you cracked your head open on the way down when you head your head on the hard counter top? Remember how Belding cushioned his fall by landing on Hound Dog, flattening Hound Dog into the bloody pancake and instantly killing your beloved pet? Remember when Belding saw that your skull was cracked open and got really turned on? Remember when Belding jerked off and blew his HIV+ load into your head wound? Remember how an ambulance arrived 30 minutes later and found your lifeless body? Remember when an emergency room doctor shaved your entire head and then stitched your head back together, encasing Belding's massive diseased seed in your head forever? Remember how up until this point you had straight hair like a normal human being? Remember how when your hair grew back in, it was curly and resembled Belding's pubic hair as a result of his semen that was sealed forever in your head? You really learned about trophies that time!

"Belding Becomes As Exotic Dancer" episode recap
Posted: May 1 2011, 08:25 AM

Diamond, remember that episode when Belding began working as an exotic dancer at a strip club on the weekends? Remember when you went to the club to see him and slipped a 1-dollar bill into his purple g-string thong? Remember how unbeknownst to Belding, you had tied a string around the dollar and used the string to yank the dollar out of Belding's thong after you had already placed it in there? Remember how your childish and rude antics enraged Belding? Remember when the Big Bopper kicked you in the face and then attempted to strangle you to death with the string around the dollar? Remember when the string snapped and then Belding started smashing your face into the strip club stage? Remember when the five female strippers and the other waitresses in the bar started fingering themselves and the male patrons jerked off while watching Belding beat the shit out of you? Remember when Belding violently ass-raped you in front of everyone at the strip club? Remember when Belding pulled his cock out out your bloodied ass and blew a huge HIV+load in your jew fro? Remember when the maintenance people started hitting you with brooms and dustpans? Remember when the bouncers picked you up and threw you into a dumpster behind the strip club and left you for dead? You really learned about the inner workings of strip clubs that time!

"The Bayside Barbecue" recap
Posted: March 8, 2011 05:25 AM (GMT)

Diamond, remember the oil spill episode where Becky the Duck died after being covered in oil? Remember when you cracked a joke to Zack that he should hold a barbecue in the Bayside parking lot to raise money to fight the oil developers? Remember when you suggested that Becky the Duck be the main course at the barbecue? Remember how funny you thought you were being? Remember when Zack surprisingly said that it seemed like a good idea? Remember when you showed up at Bayside barbecue a few days later and ate a yummy piece of barbecued meat? Remember how there were 75 people at the barbecue and everyone got a hearty piece of meat? Remember how unusual it seemed that Becky the Duck could have possibly provided enough meat to feed 75 people? Remember when you asked Zack about this and he said that he was able to find additional meat at your house? Remember when you asked what he meant and then he told you that he had grabbed Hound Dog and barbecued him? Remember when you started crying and then Zack said, "Hound Dog wasn't enough food, so we also got your mom, Mrs. Powers?" Remember when Zack pointed to the charred remains of Mrs. Powers' clothing that were over by the fire and realized that both your dog and your TV mom had just been barbecued and fed to Bayside students? You sure learned not to lip off to Zack that time!

"Diamond Meets Record Company Executives" recap
Posted: February 4, 2011 07:24 AM (GMT)

Diamond, remember back in 2000 when you heard that Christmas song where the sounds of different dogs barking are spliced together to render the song "Jingle Bells" comprised entirely of the barking sounds? Remember when this gave you an idea and you created your own version of "Jingle Bells" comprised entirely of the sounds of different dudes farted, spraying diarrhea and taking dumps at the rest stop where your dad works? Remember when you tried to sell your song to record companies? Remember when the record executives accused you of wasting their time and then ass-raped you as punishment? Remember when you didn't sell any albums? Remember when Zack stole your only copy of the album and then ripped an MP3 of the Jingle Bells song and allowed everyone to download the song from him via Napster? Remember when the record company that made the "Jingle Bells" dogs barking sing downloaded your fart version and got mad because you were ripping off his song in a homosexual way? Remember when he hired JM J Bullock to throw you a beating? Remember when JM J Bullock showed up at your house and made you eat out his smelly asshole? Remember when he then pulled out a hypodermic needle and jabbed himself in the arm to capture some of his HIV+ blood? Remember when he jabbed you repeatedly in your tiny nutsack with the tainted needle until your tiny balls were bleeding all over the place? Remember when you contracted the deadly AIDS virus during this vicious attack and you life expectancy was reduced by 35 years? The record companies really got you good that time!

"Jock Strap Attack" episode recap
Kurt Steinberg - January 28, 2011 10:11 AM (GMT)

Diamond, remember that episode back in 1993 where Slater and Belding used Slater's sweaty jock strap from wrestling practice to fling chunks of shit at you? Remember how Belding would place a moist dog turd in the jock strap and then Slater would twirl the jock strap around in a circle and then used the jock strap as a make-shift slingshot to launch the dog turd right into your face and Jew fro? Remember how they hit you with several of Hound Dog's moist turds until they ran out of dog shit? Remember how Belding then dropped trou and unleashed a giant shit log into the jock strap and then Slater fired it at you? Remember how Belding's shit log hit you in your hook nose and then split apart into little pieces? Remember how several of the pieces fell into your mouth and you gobbled them down as if you were Pac-Man ingesting a power pellet? Remember how Slater and Belding laughed at what a shit-covered faggot you were and then through the stained jock strap at you and then left and drove over to the Olive Garden for a nice meal to celebrate? Remember how you still have fond memories of this incident and consider it to have been the best day of your life? Remember how you kept the unwashed jock strap and have been sniffing it while masturbating for the past 18 years? You sure are a dirty faggot!

"Indoor Golf" episode recap
Posted: September 12, 2010 09:01 AM (GMT)

Diamond, remember when you played that indoor golf game that Belding invented in the early 1990s? Remember how instead of being played on a golf course, Belding's game was played on your naked body? Remember how instead of a golf ball, Belding used one of Hound Dog's dog turds? Remember how instead of a golf tee, Belding used your tiny cock as a golf tee? Remember how instead of a golf club, Belding used his massive cock? Remember how instead of trying to his the dog turd in a golf hole cup, the purpose of Belding's version was to hit the dog turd into your open mouth? Remember when Belding would set the dog turd on your tiny cock and smack at the dog turd with his massive cock in an effort to knock it into your mouth? Remember when you and Belding played the game in your bedroom at the Powers residence? Remember when Belding kept swinging his cock with too much power and hit the dog turd so hard that it smacked into your bedroom wall? Remember how by the end of an hour of played the game, Belding had hit 13 dog turds into your mouth? Remember how there were also numerous shit stains on your wall and carpet from where the dog turds landed when Belding hit the dog turds? Remember when you saw the shit stains and yelled at Belding to clean it up? Remember when Belding said he would wash away the shit stains with a piss hosedown? Remember when Belding pissed on your wall and carpet? Remember how Belding's piss didn't remove the shit stains? Remember how Belding's piss stained your carpet and wall and stunk up your bedroom? Remember when Belding heard the garage door opener and deduced that Mrs. Powers was opening the garage door because she was home? Remember when Belding wiped the dog shit stains off his cock with your Zubaz and then got dressed up and climbed out the window and went outside? Remember when Mrs. Powers walked into your room and saw and smelled all of the shit- and piss- stains? Remember how mad that made Mrs. Powers? Remember when she said you were going to clean up your mess? Remember when she dumped a soapy detergent in your hair and then grabbed your head and rubbed your jew-fro up and down on the wall and floor to shampoo out the stains? Remember how the coarse hair in your jew-fro cleaned up the stains after 30 minutes of hard scrubbing? Remember when Mrs. Powers also punished you by having anal sex with Belding right in front of you? Remember when she instructed Belding to pull his cock out of her ass right before he was about to cum so that he could shoot his load into your mouth? You sure learned about golf that time!

"The Bayside Gold Rush" episode recap
Posted: September 6, 2010 03:11 AM (GMT)

Diamond, remember how far-fetched and totally unrealistic the oil spill episode was when a large pocket of oil was discovered 1 foot below the football field and nobody had ever noticed it before even when the football field was built? Remember the "gold rush" episode, which was even more absurd? Remember when a new pool was being build and 10 feet of dirt had to be dug out? Remember when an underground stream was discovered 10 feet below the surface? Remember when Mr. Dewey saw something shiny and announced that there was gold in the stream? Remember how everyone cheered and all of the students and teachers at Bayside decided to become gold miners? Remember how Slater and most of the other students used shovels to dig into the dirt? Remember how Belding decided that he could dig up and sift through the dirt more quickly if he dug with your enormous hook nose? Remember when he grabbed you by the jew-fro and shoved your face into a mound of dirt? Remember when your nostrils filled up with a couple pounds of dirt? Remember when Belding said, "Diamond, sneeze out that dirt so we can see whether there are any gold nuggets?" Remember when he punched and kicked you in the back and then you sneezed out the dirt? Remember how there was one little gold nugget in the dirt? Remember how happy that made Belding? Remember when you complained that you couldn't see because there was dirt in your eyes? Remember when Belding remedied the situation by pissing on your face, washing away the dirt? Remember when Belding grabbed your jew-fro again and shoved your face into another mound of dirt? Remember when Belding pulled your face out of the dirt and saw a gold nugget sticking out of one of the nostrils on your huge hook nose? Remember how you were having trouble breathing and started coughing? Remember when you accidentally inhaled the gold nugget into your lungs? Remember how mad that made Belding? Remember when Belding started punching you in the back? Remember how Belding threw you onto the ground face-first and then started jumping on your back in an effort to force your lungs to expel the gold nugget? Remember when the force of Belding's massive 425 lb body caused your ribs to snap as though they were pretzels? Remember when Belding noticed the similar between your cracking ribs and pretzels and got hungry? Remember when Belding stopped jumping on your back and then traveled with you in an ambulance where you received medical care? Remember how the doctors said you were in critical condition and might die? Remember when Belding said, "that may be true, but that rim goblin stole gold from me!" Remember when you had a chest x-ray and the doctors discovered a foreign object in your lungs? Remember how the foreign object was not a gold nugget but was instead a yellow piss-stained dog turd? Remember how the doctors started laughing and hi-fiving Belding? Remember when you spent the next six months in intensive care as you struggled to breath while your ribs slowly healed? Remember when Belding and Slater would visit you to say hello and spit-roast you? You sure learned about the value of gold that time!

"Diamond Learns About Baseball" recap
Posted: July 7, 2010 08:24 PM (GMT)

Diamond, did you hear about the poor guy who fell from the upper deck at the Texas Rangers baseball game when he was reaching for a foul ball? Did that remind you of the time that Slater and Zack threw you from the upper deck at Dodger stadium? Remember when you landed on the hard pavement and broke some ribs? Remember when Slater and Zack started pelting you with large cups of Mountain Dew? Remember when announcer Vin Scully stood up in the announcer's box, unzipped his trousers, and took a piss on you down below? Remember when the cameraman showed you on the big Jumbotron screen getting pelted with debris? Remember how hard everyone was laughing? Remember how everyone was pelting you with peanuts, hot dogs, and beer for the next 15 minutes? Remember when a full-scale riot broke out and Zack and his dad grabbed one of the 50lb video cameras and threw it down onto you in an effort to murder you? Remember when Slater and Ox started ripping individual seats from the upper deck and threw them down onto you? Remember how billionaire Rupert Murdoch was the owner of the Dodgers at the time and he blamed you for destroying the stadium and causing a ruckus? Remember when he sent you a bill for $100k for the damage? Remember when he farted on the bill before he inserted in into the envelope? You sure learned about America's pastime that day!

"The Bayside Wet T-Shirt Contest" recap
Posted: July 6, 2010 02:20 AM (GMT)

Diamond, remember that episode where you entered Mr. Belding in the annual Bayside wet t-shirt contest? Remember how Belding competed against Kelly and Jesse? Remember how Belding asked you to purchase a new undershirt for him to wear in the contest? Remember when you purchase a Fruit-of-the-Loom brand XXL white undershirt for him to wear from K-Mart where it was on sale in a "blue-light special"? Remember when Belding tried on the undershirt and it ripped in the lower back because it was too small? Remember how Belding was pissed off, but went through with the wet t-shirt contest anyway? Remember when Slater sprayed Belding's shirt with a garden hose and then Belding got out on a stage at The Max and started freak dancing and shook his man-titties around? Remember when Kelly and Jesse did the same? Remember when Kelly received the most applause and won the contest? Remember when Belding finished in second? Remember how mad Belding was at losing the contest and blamed you? Remember when he took off his shoe and threw it at you after the results were announced? Remember when he took off his pants and ripped off your Zubaz? Remember when he shoved his cock up your ass and started ass-raping you? Remember when Max said he was going to perform a magic trick and made his cock disappear down your throat? Remember when they started spit-roasting you right in front of everyone? Remember when Kevin the Robot grabbed your ribcage with one of his claws and snapped one of your ribs in half? Remember when everyone was cheering, clapping, and masturbating? Remember when you looked over and saw that Max's "applause-meter" registered the highest possible level of applause? Remember when Max and Belding thumb-wrestled each other during the spit-roast? Remember when you contracted ebola and herpes during this attack? You sure learned not to disappoint the Big Bopper that time!

"Diamond's Date at Malibu Sands" recap
Posted: July 1, 2010 08:32 PM (GMT)

Diamond, remember that Malibu Sands episode where you went on a double date with Zack? Remember how Zack's date with a hot Stacey Carosi and your date was the morbidly obese middle-aged Mr. Carosi? Remember how all of you at dinner at the Malibu Sands beach club? Remember how AC Slater was your waiter? Remember when he pissed in your glass of Mountain Dew? Remember how Carosi kept massaging your leg beneath the table during dinner? Remember how after dinner Mr Carosi suggested that you all go swimming in the ocean? Remember how Zack and Stacey changing into swim suits? Remember how you and Mr. Carosi didn't have swim suits so Mr. Carosi suggested you two go skinny dipping? Remember how tiny your cock was and Stacey and Zack started laughing uncontrollably? Remember how that made you feel badly, so you ran into the ocean? Remember how Mr. Carosi ran after you and started hugging you to comfort you? Remember how Carosi started rubbing his massive cock against your thigh and then inserted in into your asshole? Remember when he started anally raping you while Zack cheered him on? Remember when you were screaming for help and the lifeguard yelled, "Shut up, JEWISH DICKHEAD!" Remember when Mr. Carosi shot his load up your ass and then you two walked back to the beach from the ocean? Remember how Stacey was disgusted by what had happened and quit her job and moved to Queens, New York? Remember when she married a fat guy who worked for International Parcel Service and who later quit his job to become a mall security guard? You sure got violated that time!

"The Diamond Show" recap
Posted: June 21, 2010 09:16 AM (GMT)

Diamond, remember when you were living in Indianapolis, IN and were a student at John F. Kennedy Junior High School? Remember how you were molested and violently ass-raped by your Jr. High principal, Mr. Belding, and the black janitor for the school, Mylo? Remember when you complained about what was happening to your friends Mikey Gonzalez and Zack Morris? Remember when they convinced you to tell your teacher, Miss Bliss? Remember when Miss Bliss called the police? Remember when you went down to the police station to file a report and were crying uncontrollably as your gave a statement? Remember when the police captain gave you some aspirin to help you relax? Remember when you fell asleep and woke up the next morning in your bed? Remember when you got up out of bed and walked over to the window and saw palm trees in your yard? Remember how weird it seemed that palm trees would be growing in your suburb of Indianapolis?

Remember when you went downstairs to eat breakfast and you ran into a strange woman whom you had never seen before? Remember how she acted like she was your mom? Remember when she told you to hurry up or you would be late for school at Bayside High? Remember when you asked her what she was talking about and she said it was your first day in high school and you should make a good impression? Remember when you asked her why there were palm trees in the yard? Remember when she replied, "What are you talking about Screech? That palm tree has been in the backyard since before you were born? Remember when that coconut fell from the top of it and hit you on the head when you were five years old?" Remember when you said you had no idea what she was talking about and she replied that you must not be thinking clearly because it was your first day?

Remember when you showed up at Bayside and saw Zack Morris, but Mikey Gonzalez was nowhere to be found? Remember when you ran into a Mexican kid with a curly mullet named AC Slater and he behaved as though he had known you for years? Remember how confused you were? Remember when Zack walked you to your locker and you ran into Mr. Belding? Remember when Belding introduced himself and you replied that you had filed a police report against him and that he'd better leave you alone? Remember when Mr. Belding said that you were a weird kid and that he had never met you before in his life? Remember when you said that Miss Bliss would help send him to prison? Remember when he asked you who Miss Bliss was and said he had never met anyone with that name before? Remember how confused you were and said you had a headache? Remember when Mr. Belding sent you to the school therapist and said he'd be able to help out?

Remember when you walked into the therapist's office and saw that the therapist was a thin man with long blonde hair that was covering up an obvious receding hairline? Remember when the therapist introduced himself as Rod Belding, the brother of Principal Dick Belding? Remember when Rod diagnosed you with schizophrenia and said that you were just confused because it was your first day and that you shouldn't worry?

Remember when you were sent back to class? Remember when you heard an announcement over the PA that you were supposed to report to the Principal's office? Remember when you walked into Belding's office and were immediately hit in the face with a dictionary? Remember when Belding kicked you in the chest and then yanked off your Zubaz? Remember when Belding said, "How dare you accuse me of improprieties on the day I met you for the first time?" Remember when Belding viciously raped you? Remember how you were ass-raped everyday at school from that day forward, by both teachers, students, and the male parents of the students? Remember how these attacks went on for years until one day you decided to run away from home? Remember when you confessed your plans to Kevin the Robot and he tried to convince you that Mr. Belding was a good principal and that you were being treated fairly? Remember when you started to distrust Kevin and were becoming more and more paranoid? Remember when Kevin explained that all of the STDs that were pumped into your colon must be messing with your mind?

Remember when you packed up your belongings and decided to run away to the valley? Remember when you got onto your pink bike and peddled as fast as you could toward the horizon? Remember when you bike hit something hard and you flew off the bike and landed in what you thought was a force field? Remember when you realized that you had biked straight into a wooden wall that was painted to look like the horizon? Remember how you hit the wall so hard that it had split? Remember when you could see light on the other side? Remember when you burrowed through a hole in the wall and crawled through to the other side? Remember when you saw a street sign for the Indianapolis Pacers of the NBA? Remember how confused you were at this time? Remember when you looked over and saw your mom? Remember when you said, "what is going on here, mom?" Remember when you replied that her name was Ruth Abuzzi and that she was just an actress? Remember when you said that she was your mom and you lived with her and Hound Dog? Remember when she replied nonchalantly that she was just an actress and had simply made everything up and had been lying to you for years? Remember when she said that your life was filmed live as a reality show on the Spice Channel and was a huge hit in the gay community which watched all of your vicious ass-rapings?

Remember when she said that everyone was in on the scam and that you actually had lived on a TV set in Indianapolis for the last few years and had never even been to California? Remember how nobody seemed to care that you had been lied to for the past few years or that your ass-rapes had been televised in gay bars across the country to deviant homosexuals who jerked off at your anal violations?

Remember when you later learned that your life was like a gay version of Jim Carrey's role in "The Truman Show"? You really got screwed over that time!

"Chris Burke Teaches Diamond About Oil Spills"
Posted: June 11, 2010 04:58 AM (GMT)

Diamond, remember how Chris "Corky" Burke has been practically glued to his television over the past few weeks watching news coverage on CNN of the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? Remember how Chris got sick of watching CNN and turned the channel to TBS, which happened to be showing the "Piped Dreams" oil spill episode of Saved by The Bell? Remember how Chris thought that he was watching a different news program like Dateline? Remember when Chris that scene where Zack was holding Becky the Duck and he got confused and thought that you had intentionally spilled oil on Becky and had caused the oil spill in the Gulf? Remember when Chris saw your jew-fro, hook nose, and the black spandex tights you were wearing in that episode and thought that you looked like an evil jew and then remembered that he had heard that the jews killed Jesus? Remember how mad that made Chris Burke? Remember how Chris got into his rusty 1985 Yugo and started driving from his home in Los Angeles to your house in Wisconsin to teach you a lesson about protecting the environment from oil? Remember how Chris stopped off in Las Vegas while on the way and spent a couple thousand dollars on hookers and cocaine? Remember when Chris snorted cocaine out of one of the male hookers' ass crack? Remember when Chris got back into his car and drove toward Wisconsin with his foot firmly on the gas pedal so that the Yugo reached its top speed of 45 MPH on the highway?

Remember when Chris finally arrived at Wisconsin 36 hours later? Remember when Chris started throwing rocks at your house? Remember when you yelled out, "Zoinks! Who is out there?" Remember when Chris replied, "DEERRRRR!!!! It's Chris Burke!!! DEEERRRR!!!" Remember when Chris ran up and slugged you in the gut and then started stomping on your head with his cowboy boots? Remember when Chris remembered that he hadn't taken a dump since he left Los Angeles three days earlier and then dropped his pants and shit all over your face and then wiped his ass clean with your poofy jew-fro? Remember when Chris's cock got really hard and he made you suck on it? Remember when he pulled his cock out of your mouth and then tore off your Zubaz and stuck his cock up your ass? Remember when he used his mongo homo strength to ass-rape you while you screamed for help? Remember when your fake wife heard your screams and pleasured herself? Remember when Chris pumped you full of his diseased seed and then tried to burn down your house by lighting a fire in the garage while you laid on the garage floor in a puddle of blood that had dripped from your asshole? Remember when Chris got back in his car and drove home, satisfied that he had solved the oil leak problem? Remember when you were rushed to the emergency room and found out that you had contracted herpes from Chris's filthy cock? You sure learned about the environment that time!

"Diamond Visits a Baseball Game" recap
Posted: June 18, 2010 06:29 AM (GMT)

Diamond, remember when you visited Washington, D.C. and watched a Nationals vs. Phillies baseball game? Remember how the mascot of the Nationals is homosexual-looking bird named "Screech"? Remember when the scoreboard camera showed you in the crowd and listed you as "Screech"? Remember when the Screech mascot got mad because you were using his name and decided to teach you a lesson? Remember when the mascot came running from the 3rd base foul territory into the stands after you? Remember how you tried to get up but were boxed in your row by your fake wife who was eating three hot dogs and had a tub of popcorn and a bag of peanuts on her lap? Remember when the Screech mascot picked you up and dragged you onto the dugout and tore off your Zubaz? Remember when the Screech mascot started stomping on your head and hairless pre-pubescent beanbag? Remember when the Screech mascot started ass-raping you? Remember how the scoreboard camera showed the homosexual attack for all to see? Remember how the umpire behind the plate called a time-out so that he could pull down his pants and masturbate? Remember how all of the players and almost everyone in the stands also started pleasuring themselves? Remember how the game was broadcast live on Fox as the "game of the week"? Remember when Tim McCarver and Mark Grace started jerking each other off in the announcer's booth? Remember how the Phillies mascot, the Phillie Fanatic, had traveled to the the game and was cheering on the Phillies despite the fact that it was an away game? Remember when the Phillie Fanatic ran over to the dugout and you were relieved because you thought he was going to save you? Remember how less relieved you were when he shoved his beak up your torn asshole and then started spit-roasting you with the Screech mascot? Remember how the Phillie Fanatic and the Screech mascot kept giving each other high-five's? Remember when they blew their loads and then threw you off the top of the dugout onto the concrete floor of the dugout 8 feet below? Remember how you were bleeding all over the place, so they decided to get rid of your body by rolling you up in the rain tarp? You sure learned why baseball is "America's pastime" that time!

"Belding Teaches Diamond About Weight Loss" recap
Posted: May 16, 2010 11:35 PM (GMT)

Diamond, remember that episode where you were in Belding's office and started worrying that you were gaining weight and that Mr. Belding would no longer find you attractive? Remember when Belding tried to reassure you that everything was fine and said that you would feel better after eating lunch? Remember when you said you wanted to eat hot dogs and that you had stored a package of Oscar Meier hot dogs in the Bayside refrigerator? Remember when Belding said, "Diamond, it's funny you should mention that because I have a nice foot-long for you. It's a nice meal and will cause you to lose weight over time!" Remember how you assumed that Belding must have been referring to a secret source of low-fat hot dogs? Remember when you quickly realized that Belding was not talking about hot dogs when he threw you face-first into a row of file cabinets and then shoved his huge cock down your throat? Remember when he said, "How does that foot-long taste, BITCH!!!" Remember when he yanked off your Zubaz and started ass-raping you? Remember when you heard a rustling sound from the closet in Belding's office and then looked over and saw the entire closet door snap off at its hinges and Mr. Tuttle fell to the ground? Remember when you realized that the massive weight of Tuttle's morbidly obese frame was too heavy for the door frame to support? Remember when you saw that Tuttle's pants were down around his ankles and he was masturbating like a champion? Remember when you again looked into the closet and saw Mr. Powers in there sucking off AC Slater and Zack's dad? Remember when you cried out, "Zoinks!" as Belding started anally thrusting harder and harder until he shot his diseased load up your brownpipe? Remember when Belding pulled his cock out of your ass and used your jew-fro to wipe your shit off his cock? Remember how hard you were crying at this point and you asked why Belding had lied to you about losing weight? Remember when Belding said he didn't lie about anything and that you would eventually lose weight when the HIV with which he had just infected you transformed into full-blown AIDS? Belding really taught you a lesson that time!

"Diamond Learns About Static Electricity" recap
Posted: May 5, 2010 08:45 PM (GMT)
Diamond, remember that episode where Belding came to visit you in Wisconsin for Christmas? Remember how you have a thick shag carpet in your bedroom? Remember when you took a shower and got out of the shower completely naked and walked to your bedroom where you were going to service The Big Bopper's sexual needs? Remember how unbeknownst to you, Belding had been sliding his feet on the shag carpet for the past 15 minutes, building up a large charge of static electricity? Remember when you opened the door and Belding said, "Diamond, I want to play with your cock?" Remember how happy it made you that Belding finally wanted to give you sexual pleasure? Remember how less happy you were seconds later when Belding reached out to grab your tiny cock and a large blue spark of static electricity shot from his finger tip to your zoinker? Remember how painful the shock was, causing you to yell out, "Zoinks!" Remember when Belding asked if you liked static electricity and then started stomping on your ribs and jumping on your legs until he heard multiple bones snap? Remember when your chest caved in and Belding yelled out, "Hey, hey, hey, what is going on here?" Remember when Belding farted in your face and then rolled you over and raped you as you struggled to breathe and your lungs filled with blood? You sure learned about static electricity that time!

"Corky Visits Bayside" recap
Posted: April 27, 2010 05:23 AM (GMT)

Diamond, remember that episode where Chris "Corky" Burke from "Life Goes On" fame made a guest appearance on Saved By The Bell? Remember how the storyline of the episode was that Mr. Belding had made Corky through the "Big Brothers" program that matched adults with kids with Downs Syndrome? Remember when Belding took Corky fishing? Remember when Corky accidentally cut his finger on a fish hook and started crying and yelled, "DDEEERRRR!!! CORKY HATES HOOKS!!!! DDEEERRRR!!!" Remember when Belding told Corky that everything would be ok and then took Corky to Bayside for to spend the rest of the day? Remember when Belding introduced Corky to Slater, Zack, and then you? Remember how Corky looked at your huge hook nose and yelled, "Corky hates hook," and then punched you in the nose? Remember how you fell over like a house of cards? Remember when Corky used his mongoloid strength to tear off your Zubaz and then pulled down his pants and started raping you? Remember when the entire Bayside faculty and many students saw what was happening and started clapping and cheering on Corky? Remember when they started chanting, "CORKY! CORKY! CORKY!"? Remmeber when the chanting gave Corky the adrenaline to ass rape you even more violently? Remember how it was the best day of Corky's life and the worst day of yours? Remember when Corky shot his mongo disease-ridden load up your ass and then stood up and started flexing his muscles and doing poses like Hulk Hogan did in the WWF? Remember how Zack and Slater lifted Corky up on their shoulders and carried him down the hall while everyone cheered? Everyone sure liked that lovable 'tard and hated you that time!

"Diamond Dates Mr. Powers" recap
Posted: April 19, 2010 07:30 PM (GMT)

Diamond, remember that episode where you started dating your father on SBTB, Mr. Powers? Remember how you would suck him off in the basement and in the garage? Remember when you found out that he was cheating on you with his wife and your mom, Mrs. Powers? Remember how jealous this made you? Remember when you walked into your TV parents' bedroom and saw that they were engaged in a hot orgy with Hound Dog and AC Slater? Remember when you yelled out, "Zoinks!!!" Remember how everyone was mad at you for interrupting their deviant group sex? Remember when Kevin the Robot rolled out of the hallway closet and pushed you onto the bedroom floor? Remember when Mrs. Powers sat on your face and made you eat out her dirty ass? Remember when Slater stomped on your ribs and started jerking off? Remember when Mr. Powers tore off your Zubaz and did you right in the ass? Remember when Hound Dog pissed in your Jew-fro? Remember when this assault went on for another 10 minutes until Slater and Mr. and Mrs. Powers had each cum several times and Hound Dog's bladder was completely empty of piss? Your idea to date your own dad really backfired that time!

"Hollywood is Farting" recap
Kurt Steinberg - April 16, 2010 04:48 AM (GMT)

Diamond, remember that time when you discovered that Mr. Belding was selling phone calls along with other washed-up celebrities on "Hollywood Is Calling"? http://www.hollywoodiscalling.com/

Remember when you hatched your newest get-rich-quick scheme and thought that people would pay $20 apiece to listen to celebrities farting, taking dumps, and spraying diarrhea? Remember when you used all of the money from your t-shirt scam to pay Maxwell Nerdstrom to set up a website for you? Remember when you named the website, "Hollywood is Farting" after narrowly deciding against "Hollywood is Taking a Shit"? Remember when you hid a microphone in the bathroom at The Standard and in the bathrooms at the Taco Bell and Denny's on the Sunset strip? Remember when you taped the farts and diarrhea sounds of washed-up celebrities such Mr. Belding, Mayim Bialik, Scott Bakula, Michael Oliver, and the midget from Fantasy Island? Remember when you started offering the sound clips on your website? Remember how the only person who paid for any of the sound clips was your TV father, Mr. Powers? Remember how you lost thousands of dollars on your scheme and were sued for illegally audiotaping the sounds of washed-up celebrities going to the bathroom? Remember when you had to declare bankruptcy to fend off your creditors, lost your house and car, and now live under a bridge with rabid homosexual bums who violate you every night and jab used hypodermic needles into your hairless ball-sac? You really screwed yourself over that time!

"Belding's Time Machine Portal" recap
Posted: March 24, 2010 09:31 AM (GMT)

Diamond, remember that episode where Mr. Belding worked with Kevin the Robot to invent a time machine? Remember how instead of using the time machine for the good of the world or to make money on the stock market or gambling, Mr. Belding instead used the time machine send his farts and other bodily waste products back in time? Remember when Kevin the Robot installed a time portal in your bedroom through which items from the future could travel back in time? Remember how Belding would often stick his ass into the time machine and rip ass? Remember how Belding's farts traveled through the fabric of space and time and landed right in your face? Remember how every night Belding's farts would envelop your bedroom? Remember how Kevin built a time machine chair that Belding could sit on naked while he was eating at Taco Bell? Remember how Belding's diarrhea from over 20 years into the future would often travel through the time machine portal and land on your face? Remember how Belding used the time machine as a toilet and sent 30 years worth of piss and shit through the portal and into your bedroom during your senior year at Bayside? Remember when Mr. Tuttle borrowed the machine and jerked off into it in the year 2015? Remember when you contracted new strains of HIV from the semen that passed through the time machine? Belding really used scientific advances to screw you over that time!

"Diamond's 'Hot Tub Time Machine'" Recap
Posted: March 20, 2010 08:14 PM (GMT)

Diamond, remember when you saw that preview for the new movie, "Hot Tub Time Machine"? Remember how you wished you had a hot tub time machine so that you could go back in time and warn your younger self not to trust Mylo, Slater, and Belding because they were homosexual rapists? Remember when you programmed Kevin the Robot to build a hot tub time machine for you? Remember when you stripped down to your Zubaz Speedos and got into the hot time time machine and set it to send you back to 1988 so that you could tell your younger self not to move from Indianapolis to Los Angeles to attend Bayside High School? Remember when Belding appeared out of nowhere and dropped his pants and took a massive dump in your hot tub time machine? Remember how the water in the hot tub portion got really cloudy and smelly and then chunks of Belding's fecal matter clogged up the water filter and broke your hot tub time machine? Remember when Belding yelled, "Where the fuck do you think you're going, SHIT-HEAD!" Remember when Belding yanked you out of the hot tub and started having unprotected buttsex with you completely against your will? Remember when Kevin the Robot rolled over and you gave that his metal cock was extending? Remember when Belding and Kevin started spit-roasting you? Remember how Belding kept giving hi-fives with his hand and Kevin's claw? Remember when Belding shot his diseased load up your ass and Kevin blew his oily robotic load in your mouth at the same time? Remember how you started choking and inhaled Kevin's oily load? Remember how you almost suffocated and died as the oil stuck to your lungs? Kevin the Robot really got you good that time!

"Diamond's Zubaz Jacket" recap
Posted: March 16, 2010 10:25 AM (GMT)

Diamond, remember that episode where Mrs. Powers gave you a hot pink Zubaz jacket for your 17th birthday? Remember how it was your favorite jacket and you wore it to school every day? Remember how you first wore it to school on Monday, September 21, 1992? Remember how Mylo forgot to tell Belding that the school needed more toilet paper and as a result, the school ran out of toilet paper in the Teacher's lounge? Remember how Belding broke into your locker and pulled out your pink Zubaz jacket and your peanut butter and jelly sandwich and used both as toilet paper in the bathroom stall in the Teacher's lounge? Remember how your peanut butter and jelly sandwich fell apart when Belding tried to wipe his ass with it? Remember when Belding was forced to wipe his ass clean with your Zubaz jacket instead? Remember how it was burrito day in the cafeteria and everyone was taking a dump after lunch? Remember when Belding placed an "out of order" sign on the boy's bathroom and directed everyone to use the bathroom in the Teacher's lounge? Remember how by the end of the day your Zubaz jacket was covered in brown stains and smelled like ass? Remember how numerous partially digested chunks of corn and peanuts were stuck to the collar and in the pockets? Remember how there were also urine stains all over the jacket from where Slater tried to write in his name in piss? Remember when Belding broke into your locker at the end of the day and placed your jacket back inside? Remember when you found the jacket and everyone started laughing at you? Remember how Kevin the Robot was the hall monitor that day for some unexplained reason and he sent you to detention for causing a disruption in the Bayside halls? Remember when you had to sit in detention after school for 45 minutes as the other delinquents threw gum and coins at your head and spit in your jew-fro? Remember how the other kids got sick of throwing things at you and started have gay sex with you, completely against your will? Remember when you were spit-roasted while several other kids farted on you and then jerked off? Remember when your SBTB dad, Mr. Powers, walked into the room and said he was there to rescue you? Remember when he changed his mind and started sucking off the other kids in the detention hall? Remember when Belding walked in and said, "Hey, hey, hey, what is going on here?" Remember when Belding dropped his pants and then started kicking you in the head? Remember when Mr. Powers and the kids all started laughing as you got your ass kicked? Remember when the Big Bopper started raping you while Mr. Powers cheered him on and shouted words of encouragement? Remember when Belding grunted and then filled your colon up with HIV+ semen? Remember when Belding picked you up and body-slammed you? Remember when he lifted you up and then pushed your head against the chalkboard and used your jew-fro to clean all of the chalk off the chalkboard? Remember when you lost consciousness but came to in Mr. Power's rusty 1978 Gremlin as he drove you home? Remember when you walked in the house and collapsed on the floor? Remember when Hound Dog sniffed your hair and then started sneezing because he was allergic to the chalk dust in your jew-fro? Remember how mad that made Hound Dog? Remember how Hound Dog decided to get even with you by pissing in your jew-fro? You really learned not to show off your flashy jacket that time!

New Forum for Diamond's Queer Fans

2011-05-17T19:55:00.000-07:00

The original Dustin Diamond Love forum has been removed for alleged Terms of Services violations. It's a shame because there was a lot of hot gay spank material posted over there. In the meantime, Diamond's queer fans can submit and read new gay fantasies over at the new Dustin Diamond Love forum.

Sexy Pictures of Diamond Wearing His Famous Zubaz!!!

2011-01-31T19:26:00.000-08:00

Check out these hot spank-worthy pictures of Dustin Diamond in his Zubaz! Diamond simply oozes homosexuality from every orifice!!!

Homoerotic conversation between Dustin Diamond and a British fan

2010-12-27T22:05:00.000-08:00

Check out this nice video of a conversation between Dustin Diamond and a horny British fan!!!

Photo of Rick Bawls Sniffing a Sweaty Jockstrap

2010-12-15T02:25:00.000-08:00

Here is a nice photo of Rick Bawls, my obsessive Canadian stalker, sniffing a sweaty jock strap. He probably stole this jock strap from a laundry bin in the boy's lock room at nearby high school when the wrestling team was in the showers after practice. Rick Bawls is a depraved homosexual and has almost certainly lost hundreds of loads already when sniffing this jock strap while pleasuring himself!

A Dumpster Spa for Diamond?

2010-10-24T19:33:00.000-07:00

Check out this photo of a garbage dumpster that has been modified and converted into a make-shift spa. I bet that Diamond would have a lot of of fun in one or these. He could crawl in to relax after being anally violated at a homosexual dumpster party in an alley behind a Taco Bell. I bet he would enjoy relaxing while several dirty bums hung their asses over the edge of the dumpster and took dumps into the water. Diamond would enjoy watching several shit logs float by his face as he relaxed!

Hot Picture of Dustin Diamond Being Choked

2010-10-24T19:30:00.000-07:00

Check out this hot picture of Diamond being choked on the rowdy Saved By The Bell set! You know that Mr. Belding is probably just out of the frame but is waiting to pounce on Diamond! I wonder who had anal sex with Diamond first this time?

A Young Dustin Diamond Handcuffed at Bayside!

2010-10-24T19:25:00.001-07:00

Check out this old picture of a young Dustin Diamond handcuffed to a locker at Bayside High School. I bet that AC Slater and Mr. Belding handcuffed Diamond to the locker so that that can anally rape the young rim goblin, Diamond! Diamond looks incredibly effeminate in this picture - look at how limp his right hand appears to be!

Recent Picture of Kevin the Robot

2010-10-12T23:02:00.000-07:00

Kevin the Robot has finally been found! He had been missing for nearly 20 years after he was disassembled after the third season of Saved By The Bell. I bet that he had violated Dustin Diamond's asshole one too many times and Mr. Belding became jealous and took Kevin apart and dumped Kevin's parts at a garbage dump. However, a "Good Samaritan" rescued Kevin several years ago and reassembled him as a robo-urinal. Kevin currently works as a urinal at a rest stop located just outside Las Vegas, NV and will jerk off truck drivers with his metal hands for 25 cents. I bet that he still has a metal cock and would love to use it to anally rape Diamond! I wonder how much piss would splash out of Kevin's urinal drain pipe if he were really giving it to Diamond right in the ass...

I Have A Stalker!

2010-08-10T15:05:00.001-07:00

I have a stalker on the Internet! Someone who goes by the name "Rick Bawls" is obsessed with me and has apparently fallen in love with me. He is a huge fan of Randy Constan, the real-life "Peter Pan." I believe that Rick enjoys dressing up as Peter Pan himself and meeting men at rest stops and gas station bathrooms.

Rick has set up 20 different fake profiles on Facebook and even created a blog to stalk me. He created his blog six days ago and has already written over 70 posts, many of which include photographs of hard-core gay pornography. I have to assume that Rick uploaded those photos from his own computer hard drive - he must have accumulated several terabytes of gay porn over the years. (I am not providing a link to his blog because he has some sick gay hard core pornography on that blog and it is definitely not safe to view at work!)

Rick is an unemployed man who spends a majority of his days fantasizing that he is a range of different people. He is ashamed of his real-life persona and that is why he has created so many fake identities on the Internet. Rick is still coming to grips with his latent homosexuality. He is struggling to understand why he becomes sexually aroused when he is urinating in a public restroom and someone rips a smelly and loud fart. He feels as though he is supposed to be attracted to women, yet he cannot help but be repulsed by them. He enjoys living life on the edge on his terms - according to unconfirmed sources, Rick frequently swipes sweaty jock straps from the local high school and sniffs them while pleasuring himself.

Rick Bawls should seriously consider visiting a psychiatrist before he becomes suicidal. Rick exhibits passive-aggressive behaviors and is close to losing his mind.

Great Picture of Mylo the Janitor Fantasizing About Screech!

2010-06-21T23:58:00.001-07:00

Here's a nice picture of Mylo the Janitor thinking about what he's going to do to Screech on the rowdy Good Morning, Miss Bliss set!

Hot Pictures of Mylo the Janitor!!!

2010-06-21T23:47:00.000-07:00

Here are some hot pictures of Mylo the Janitor from Good Morning, Miss Bliss! I bet he made love to Screech every day at John F. Kennedy Jr. High.

My "Remember When..." Queer Fantasies - Part VIII

2010-06-21T23:34:00.000-07:00

Here are more of my "Remember When..." queer fantasies involving Diamond and the rest of the Saved By The Bell gang:

"Diamond Learns About Health Insurance" recap
Posted: Mar 11 2010, 10:24 AM

Diamond, remember all of those times that Belding pissed on your face? Remember how some of his piss got trapped in your ears, giving you "swimmer's ear"? Remember when you thought you had an infection so you went to see a doctor? Remember when you informed the doctor that your high school principal had pissed in your ears? Remember when the doctor called you a "Hook-nosed Jewish cocksucking faggot"? Remember when the doctor said, "this should clear everything up" and then jammed a rusty nail into your ear? Remember how the doctor punctured your eardrum and blood gushed out? Remember when the doctor said, "Voila! The blood forced the piss and lots of earwax out of your ear. That will be $350!" Remember when you yelled, "Zoinks!" and said that you didn't have any health insurance? Remember how mad that made the doctor? Remember when the doctor torn off your Zubaz and started whipping you in the nuts with his stethoscope? Remember when the doctor started jabbing you in the nuts with various used hypodermic needles that were in the medical waste bin? Remember how relieved you were when the office door opened because you thought that someone was going to rescue you from your misery? Remember how less relieved you were when you saw Mrs. Powers and noticed that she was fingering herself? Remember when you noticed Mr. Belding standing behind Mrs. Powers? Remember how Belding was doing Mrs. Powers right in the ass? Remember when Belding pulled his cock out of Mrs. Power's ass and blew a huge load into your Jew-fro? Remember when the doctor placed you onto a movable bed and then pushed it, running toward the window at the end of the hall? Remember when the hospital bed crashed through the window and you fell down onto a car in the parking lot 3 stories below? Remember when you managed to look up and saw Belding, the doctor, and Mrs. Powers all giving each other hi-fives? Remember when you temporarily passed out? Remember when you regained consciousness as Belding was lifting you into the nearby trash dumpster and then left you for dead? Remember when you were ass-raped by several bums over the next few days until you finally escaped? You sure learned about the need for health insurance that time!

"Bayside Parent-Teacher Conferences" recap
Posted: Mar 9 2010, 11:00 AM

Diamond, remember that episode where Belding told Mr. and Mrs. Powers what a hook-nosed loser you were during parent-teacher conferences at Bayside? Remember how you showed up with your parents to the event? Remember when you said "Zoinks!" when Belding told your parents what a shithead you were? Remember when Belding got mad for some reason and then pulled down your Zubaz and started viciously ass-raping you right in front of your parents? Remember when Mr. Powers started giving Belding hi-fives and cheering him on while you begged for mercy? Remember when Mrs. Powers started fingering herself during this incident? Remember when Belding pulled out of your ass and then Mr. Powers finished sucking him off? Remember when Belding came and then Mr. Powers spit out Belding's cum into your jew-fro? Remember when Mrs. Powers had a powerful orgasm? Remember when you heard a rumbling sound coming from the ceiling? Remember when you looked up and saw that the entire ventilation shaft was coming down and crumpling? Remember when the ventilation shaft hit Belding's desk and snapped in half? Remember when Mr. Tuttle rolled out and you noticed that Tuttle wasn't wearing any pants and was masturbating vigorously? Remember how Tuttle suffered massive lacerations on his legs and back when the ventilation shaft snapped in two? Remember how Tuttle continued to jerk off at a feverish pace despite massive blood loss? Remember when Tuttle blew his load and then passed out from his injuries and was later transported to a hospital where he was placed on life support? Remember how Mr. and Mrs. Powers blamed you for Tuttle's injuries and grounded you because Belding's review of your performance at Bayside was so bad? You really had a fucked-up family life that time!

"Diamond Learns not to Taunt Tyrone Leakums" recap
Posted: Feb 23 2010, 07:31 AM

Diamond, remember how you were in San Francisco last week to visit your dad on SBTB, Mr. Powers, while he was sucking off random HIV+ dudes at one of the many gloryholes in the Castro District? Remember when you saw the video on youtube of the Epic Beard Man giving a beating to Tyrone Leakums, the black instigator of the altercation on the bus? Remember how Tyrone reminded you of Mylo the janitor, so you hung outside the hospital where Tyrone was sent for medical attention? Remember how you planned on heckling Tyrone when he emerged from the hospital? Remember when he walked out and you yelled, "Yo Tyrone, are you still leakin'? You got your ass whipped! Can you shine my Converse hi-tops! Zoinks!" Remember how mad this made Tyrone Leakums and he decided to teach you a lesson? Remember when Tyrone yanked off your Converse hi-tops and jammed them up your ass and said, "You honkey muthafucka, is they shined to your liking now?" Remember when Tyrone pulled the Converse shoes out of your ass and then raped you prison-style? Remember when he unloaded his HIV+ seed in your ass and then saw some of his jism dripping out of your ass and said, "Ooh, you really be leakin' now!!! Welcome to da world of AIDS, muthafucka!!!" Remember when Tyrone finally let you go and then you ran to the caring arms of Mr. Powers at the rest stop gloryhole? Remember when you tearfully explained what had happened? Remember when Mr. Powers started jerking off and then blew a huge load into your jew-fro? You sure learned not to fuck with people that time!

"Diamond Learns Not to Lecture Belding" recap
Posted: Feb 9 2010, 06:11 AM

Diamond, remember that episode where Belding took you to lunch at a McDonald's? Remember how the McDonald's was still using the old styro-foam containers? Remember when you lectured Belding on the dangers to the environment caused by plastics? Remember how annoying you were being? Remember how mad that made Belding? Remember when Belding said, "That's enough, let's go Diamond!" Remember when Belding started driving back to Bayside and he said you and he would continue eating in his rusty 1986 Yugo? Remember when Belding chucked several styro-foam containers out the window while he was driving home just to piss you off? Remember when Belding said, "I'm feeding plastic to the environment, you stupid ass-fucking Jew bastard!" Remember when a policeman saw the garbage fly out the window and pulled Belding's car over to the side of the road? Remember when Belding lied to the policeman and said that you were the one who had littered? Remember when the policeman lectured you on highway safety and then arrested you and sent you to county jail? Remember when you were thrown in a cell with a bunch of racist crackheads who proceeded to call you a "Jew bastard," "pubic head," and "cocksucker"? Remember when you found out that several of the crackheads were related to Mylo the janitor? Remember when they raped you for several hours until your dad, Mr. Powers, showed up to bail you out? Remember when you ran to his arms and told him what the other prisoners had done to you? Remember when that turned him on and then he sucked off several of your rapists? You sure deserved what happened to you that time for being such a shithead!

"Belding Tires to Abort Diamond's Butt-Baby" recap
Posted: Feb 4 2010, 12:11 PM

Diamond, remember that episode where you informed Mr. Belding that you were pregnant with a butt-baby and were scared? Remember when Belding said that you shouldn't worry and that he would purchase a Zubaz-branded product that would abort your butt-baby? Remember how you naively assumed that the Zubaz company must have started selling an abortion pill? Remember when Belding showed up at your house the next day and said the he was going to help you out? Remember how you assumed he was going to give you the abortion pill? Remember how shocked you were when Belding pulled out a cheap coat hanger made of twisted metal and that had word "Zubaz" written in marker across it? Remember when Belding punched you in your hook nose, causing you to collapse onto the floor? Remember when Belding yanked off your Zubaz pants and then violently jammed the coat hanger up your rectum in an effort to kill the fetus growing anally in your colon? Remember when Belding said that he thought he had killed the butt-baby and then pulled out the hanger from your now-bloody rectum and then started whipped you in your tiny nuts with the coat hanger? Remember when you passed out from massive blood loss and then woke up in the emergency room hours later? Remember how the doctor said that you were pregnant with a butt-baby and that Belding's attempts to abort the butt-baby had pierced your liver, appendix, stomach, and colon, but had completely missed the anal fetus? Remember when you had to undergo intensive therapy to regain control of your bowels and heal your internal organs? Remember when you gave birth to young Zoinks Diamond a month into your hospital stay and have had to care for him ever since? Remember how Rod Belding was your nurse? Remember when Rod would viciously ass-rape you when he was supposed to he guiding you through rehab exercises? The Beldings really screwed you over that time!

"Diamond Learns About Drug Abuse" recap
Posted: Jan 25 2010, 09:00 AM

Diamond, remember how Belding, Tuttle, and Mylo the janitor would smoke crack in the Teacher's Lounge at Bayside during lunch break? Remember when Belding told you that Mylo sold the best crack rocks? Remember how you felt left out and asked Belding to score you a hit of some crack rock yourself? Remember how Belding asked for $100 and said he'd get a crack rock for you to smoke? Remember how you had never seen a crack rock before and were excited when Belding handed you a hard black material that he referred to as his "crack rock"? Remember how smelly it was, but Belding said that was to be expected? Remember when you placed it in your Zubaz-brand crack pipe and then smoked it? Remember when you started coughing from the smell and then looked over and saw Tuttle jerking off behind a file cabinet? Remember when Belding said, "How do ya like my crack rock, Diamond? It's a a chunk of shit that was stuck to my matted ass hair - so it's really my 'ass-crack rock,' you Zubaz-wearing cocksucker!" Remember when Belding threw his keyboard at you and then kicked you in the junk? Remember when you fell over and then Mylo jumped out of the closet and started sodomizing you with his mop while Belding lodged his massive cock down your throat? You sure learned about the dangers of drug abuse that time!

"Diamond Learns About Batteries" recap
Posted: Jan 21 2010, 10:05 AM

Diamond, remember that episode where Belding saw Slater rush into the boy's bathroom on taco day? Remember when he ordered you to sneak into the bathroom with a cassette recorder and record the sounds of Slater farting and going diarrhea so that he could listen to the tape later while jerking off? Remember when the batteries in your cassette recorder ran out of power five minutes into Slater's 15-minutes diarrhea session? Remember how the batteries were drained because you had listened to your "New Kids on the Block" tape for 6 hours the previous day? Remember when you informed Belding that you were not able to record all of Slater's bathroom visit? Remember how mad that made Belding? Remember when Belding grabbed your cassette recorder and smacked you in the face with it? Remember when the cassette recorder broke into pieces? Remember when Belding grabbed one of the bigger pieces that had a sharp edge and stabbed you in the nuts and ass with it? Remember when he stabbed you in the neck and tried to kill you? Remember when he ass-raped you shortly before you lost consciousness due to massive blood loss? Remember when you regained consciousness a few hours later and woke up in a hospital bed? Remember when a doctor informed you that you were a dirty HIV+ faggot and would need to undergo intensive therapy for the next few months to recover from the attack? You sure learned to use fresh batteries that time!

"Diamond learns about Sex ed" recap
Posted: Jan 19 2010, 10:24 AM

Diamond, remember that time when you Mr. Belding was a special substitute teacher for Health class? Remember how the topic that day was Sex education? Remember when you the class started with Belding eating some greasy tacos from Taco Bell? Remember when your mom on the show, Mrs. Powers, walked into the class 10 minutes later? Remember when Mrs. Powers took off her skirt, panties, shirt, and bra and threw them at you? Remember when Belding said, "Diamond, come over here and I'll teach you about sex? Remember when Belding dropped his 52-inch waist polyester pants? Remember how he wasn't wearing any underwear? Remember how the entire room quickly started to smell like Belding's ass? Remember when Belding started doing Mrs. Powers right in the ass and then Slater pushed your face up against Belding's butt as he thrust his massive cock in and out of Mrs. Powers' cornhole? Remember how sweaty Belding's ass was getting? Remember when Belding ripped a wet fart in your face? Remember when Slater pushed your nose right into Belding's ass crack as he pounded away at Mrs. Powers' butthole? Remember when Belding pulled his cock out of Mrs. Powers and then blew his diseased load all over your face? Remember when he smacked you in the face with his cock and then turned around and sprayed diarrhea right in your face and then wiped his ass clean with your jew-fro and neatly trimmed beard? Remember when Mrs. Powers pushed you onto the floor and then inserted your huge nose into her stank cooch? Remember when she bounced up and down on your face and pleasured herself as your hook nose went in and out of her pussy? Remember when she queefed right in your face and then had an orgasm? Remember when you spent the next six years receiving psychologocal counseling after this incident? You really learned about sex that time!

"Diamond Dresses As a $3 Bill" recap
Posted: Dec 30 2009, 07:39 PM

Diamond, remember that Halloween episode of Saved By The Bell where you asked Mr. Belding for some Halloween costume suggestions? Remember when Belding recommended that you dress up as a $3 bill? Remember how you thought that was a great idea and made up a $3 bill costume? Remember when you wore that costume to Bayside and everyone called you a stupid faggot? Remember when Mr. Dewey said, "Diamond, are you finally out of the closet? You're as queer as a $3 bill!!!" Remember when you started crying? Remember how Belding was dressed as a Department of Treasury agent and said, "Diamond, you are under arrest for trying to pass a counterfeit bill?" Remember when you said, "Zoinks!" Remember when Belding got mad and said, "Stop resisting arrest, shithead!" Remember when Belding handcuffed you to the railing on the Bayside stairs and ass-raped you while about 75 students cheered him on and clapped? Remember how Kevin the Robot rolled through the hallway? Remember how Mr. Tuttle was sitting on Kevin the Robot's head with his pants down around his ankles and was masturbating vigorously? Remember when you heard a loud snap and saw that Kevin's titanium casing had collapsed under the massive stress caused by supporting Tuttle's morbidly obese body? Remember how Kevin was almost as flat as a pancake, except for a few screws sticking out that punctured Tuttle's stomach and lungs? Remember how Tuttle suffered from a collpased lung and almost died? Remember when 15 kids raped you after Belding blew his load up your ass? You sure were as a queer as a $3 bill that time!

"Belding Teaches Diamond about Recycling" recap
Posted: Dec 18 2009, 08:56 AM

Diamond, remember that episode where you kept pestering Mr. Belding to recycle even though you knew that he hated recycling? Remember when Belding finally agreed to recycle? Remember that time you were in his office and he shoved 10 pieces of Hubba Bubba bubble gum into his mouth at the same time and chewed it for 10 minutes while you organized his files? Remember when he said, "Diamond, come over here a second?" Remember when you walked over and Belding spit a huge wad of gum into your jew-fro and then said, "Diamond, aren't you proud of me? I recycled!" Remember when you started crying and Belding said, "There's no crying at Bayside! Get out of my sight, you little faggot!!!!" Remember when you went outside and sat on a park bench and fell asleep? Remember when you woke up 15 minutes later and your head was itching like crazy? Remember when you discovered that a colony of ants was biting at the gum in your jew-fro and was also biting your scalp and face? Remember when you screamed out, "Zoinks!" and Belding came running? Remember when he said, "I'll save you, Diamond!" Remember when he dropped his pants and then fart right onto your jew-fro, instantly killing the thousands of ants attacking you? Remember when he said, "Now let me get rid of the bodies" and then pissed all over your jew-fro and face, washing the ants away? Remember when you got up and tried to hug Belding while thanking him for saving you? Remember how mad that made Belding because you were soaked with piss and you got some on him? Remember when Belding said, "Get off me, dickhead!" and then launched you face-first into a flag pole? Remember how the force of hitting the flagpole knocked the wind out of you and left you gasping for air? Remember when Belding said, "Suck on this, bitch" and then shoved his enormous cock down your throat? Remember when you suffered lock-jaw, contracted a virulent strain of herpes, and almost died as a result of an infection caused by the ant bites? Mr. Belding really got you good that time!

"Diamond Learns About Littering" recap
Posted: Dec 15 2009, 06:35 AM

Diamond, remember how Mr. Belding enjoyed littering? Remember how he would sometimes take all of the various trash cans in his house and load them up into his car? Remember when he would drive on various highways, include the Pacific Coast Highway, and throw garbage out the window? Remember how he hated recycling and would often drive to the beach and throw old newspapers into the ocean? Remember when you went with him and helped him carry three huge trash cans full of garbage onto the end of the Santa Monica Pier and dumped them over into the ocean during a December rainstorm? Remember when you looked down afterward and saw Taco Bell and Burger King wrappers floating all over the place? Remember when how you thought that you that you had a fantastic bonding experience with Mr. Belding? Remember when you hugged him and then Belding looked down all of the garbage floating in the ocean and saw a half-eaten blueberry muffin floating in the water? Remember how mad that made Belding? Remember when Belding said, "Dammit Diamond! Why didn't you tell me that there was still some uneaten junk food in the trash can before we dumped it into the ocean, SHITHEAD?" Remember how Belding decided to teach you a lesson by punching you in the gut until you fell to the ground in pain? Remember when Belding started kicking and stomping on your head? Remember when he kicked out several of your teeth and then shoved his cock into your mouth? Remember how the warm blood gushing out of your bleeding gums turned on Belding and made him blow a massive load into your mouth within mere minutes? Remember when Belding relaxed for a second to catch his breath and then said he was going to show you a Pele-style soccer kick? Remember when Belding picked you up and then drop-kicked you off the pier into the ocean? Remember how there was a riptide and you floated away from shore in the icy cold waters? Remember how you were near death 20 minutes later when a Coast Guard ship came across your floating body? Remember how you were suffering from hypothermia by then? Remember when the Coast Guard members warmed you up from the inside out by viciously ass-raping you and firing their huge loads up your ass? You sure learned about littering in that episode!

"Belding Teaches Diamond About Sleep" recap
Posted: Dec 1 2009, 11:37 PM

Diamond, remember how Mr. Belding liked to sleep completely naked in his bed? Remember how you would come over to his place periodically so that he could have anal sex with you? Remember how you used to sleep next to him in his bed until he became so morbidly obese that you could no longer fit into bed with him? Remember when you started sleeping on his floor? Remember when it was cold in the house and you asked him to turn on the heater? Remember when Belding refused because he said he was on a tight budget and needed to save his money to purchase greasy fast food and gay porn? Remember when Belding leaned over to the side of the bed and said, "Diamond, this should warm you up," and then unleashed a smelly fart right in your face? Remember how Belding's fart did warm you up initially but then you felt cold again? Remember when Belding informed you that he had not vacuumed the carpet in his bedroom for the past 15 years and that you should use some of his pubic hairs that laying all over the carpet as a blanket? Remember when Belding told you to lay on the floor and then he went down to his garage to get a rake? Remember when Belding raked up a huge pile of pubes and covered you in it? Remember how the pile of pubes looked like a pubic igloo? Remember when Belding kept raking up pubes until his back started to get tired and then he started raking your jew-fro and smashed the rake into your face? Remember when Belding cracked the rake handle across your hook nose and then rolled you over and sodomized you? Belding really taught you about the importance of sleep in that episode!

Dustin Diamond to Appear at the "The Awesome 80s Prom"

2010-05-04T01:36:00.000-07:00

Diamond is so hard-up for cash that he is going to appear at an 80s-themed event entitled, "The Awesome 80s Prom," at a club in New York City. He is scheduled to appear on Friday and Saturday evenings on weekends between May 21, 2010 - June 26, 2010. Diamond must be very hard-up for money and publicity, as he cannot possibly be making much money from his appearances.

According to the website for "The Awesome 80s Party," the party is a great time and "the majority of the action in THE PROM takes place on the dance floor, by the bar, and even in the bathrooms!" It sounds like this job is right up Diamond's alley! I wonder whether he will be working as a bathroom attendant mopping up piss and vomit. I suppose he might also be working a bathroom gloryhole with his dad on Saved By the Bell, Mr. Powers!

Hot Pictures of Mr. Belding Working Out in the Bayside Locker Room!

2010-04-20T22:59:00.000-07:00

Check out these hot spank-worthy pictures of Mr. Belding lifting weights in the Bayside boys locker room! He is one hot, sexy stud here. I bet that Screech serviced Mr. Belding's carnal desires when he walked into the locker room later that day! It seems odd that he would lift weights in a locker room, as opposed to a gym, but I guess that hearing the sounds of kids taking dumps and pissing in the nearby bathroom helps to motivate the Big Bopper to get in shape.

Hot Picture of Slater Violating Screech!

2010-04-20T21:50:00.000-07:00

Check out this hot picture of AC Slater about to violate a young Dustin Diamond! It's hard to tell what is happening here, but I am sure it will be unpleasant for Diamond!